your love, and that they would not only know but experience you walking with us through these times.
Father, as we turn to your word now, we ask that you would help us,
that we might hear clearly what you are saying,
and that you would give us grace that we may apply it to our lives.
In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Amen.
Well, this morning we're looking at the theme that God has promised suffering,
and learning how to grieve well.
Very often our experiences are that in times of struggling,
and Pete mentioned this, is that we immediately want things to change.
We want things to end.
Sometimes we want the suffering to come to a conclusion.
Well, sometimes we need to learn to grieve.
In fact, I think it's important that we learn to grieve.
So three big things we're going to look at this morning.
First, grieving will come.
We stood by side, dressed in our school uniforms,
and as we stood alongside each other, we watched as the coffin was being carried out.
Richard was liked by everyone.
He was a fun kind of guy.
He loved his sport.
He was generous and he was kind,
but yet a tragic accident ended Richard's life,
and he was no longer with us.
In the car park, I remember walking over to Richard's dad.
No words were ever exchanged.
We just embraced and cried.
As a young teen, that was my first real experience of grief.
And Psalm 90 reminds us,
Our days may come to 70 years or 80,
if our strength endures.
Yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass and we fly away.
It's a solemn reminder that we live in a broken and disordered world
that ends in death.
It's unavoidable.
And the message of the Bible from beginning to end is very clear.
Live long enough and you will suffer.
Listen to God's word through Isaiah the prophet.
But now this is what the Lord says,
He who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have summoned you by name.
You are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you.
And when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned.
The flames will not set you ablaze.
Not if,
but when.
When you pass through the waters,
when you walk through the fire.
James tells us the same.
He says,
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds.
Not if you will face trials,
but whenever you face trials.
Now both Isaiah and James are writing to God's people,
those whom God has redeemed and called to himself followers.
Yet they are told to prepare for days of suffering.
We should never assume that just because we trust God,
that we won't suffer.
You will go through the furnace.
You will walk through painful trials.
You will face the darkness.
We will all grieve.
So first, grieving will come.
Second, grieving is painful.
It's painful because when we grieve,
it's because we're mourning the loss of someone or something.
A mother grieves
because she has lost her son through cancer.
Pete grieves
because he's lost a cousin and a brother.
A husband can grieve
because he's lost the family home through unemployment.
A young couple can grieve
because their hopes and dreams are crushed
when a tragedy strikes.
You see, when suffering comes,
it takes the people we love
and the things that we most value.
And in a moment, they are gone,
ripped from the clutches of our arms.
And it is terribly painful.
There are three ways, I think,
that the Bible speaks about our grief.
Three emotions we experience in times of struggle.
And to help us look at this,
we're going to look at the Psalms together.
And one of the things about the Psalms is
they show us and they record for us
the personal experiences
of those who are going through hard times.
And as we listen to these experiences,
as we listen to these true life accounts,
they help us to grieve.
The first emotion,
the first kind of grief I think we encounter
in times of loss
is anger.
When we go through the waters,
we can be angry.
Look at Psalm 77 with me.
Psalm 77.
Starting at verse 1.
I cried out to God for help.
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress,
I sought the Lord.
At night,
I stretched out untiring hands
and would not be comforted.
In other words,
the comfort didn't come.
I remembered you,
God,
and I groaned.
I meditated
and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing.
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago.
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated
and my spirit asked,
Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?
Question after question.
Why are you doing this?
Where are you?
What's it all for?
This is raw emotion.
He's angry at God.
Look back at verse 5.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago.
I remembered my songs of joy.
There are songs of joy he's talking about in the night.
I looked back on my life,
all those good times.
I remember when my life was happy,
when we were together.
But now she's gone.
I remember when we walked and talked.
But now they don't even recognize me.
The writer of Psalm 22
says what we all want to say.
My God, my God,
why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me?
So far from my cry of anguish.
My God, I cry out by day,
but you do not answer by night,
but I find no rest.
Isn't that how we often feel?
Angry with God.
Job certainly did.
Just have a look back to Job 19.
It comes just before the Psalms.
Job 19.
And verse 7.
So this is a cry towards God.
He says,
Though I cry violence,
I get no response.
Though I call for help,
there is no justice.
God has blocked my way
so that I cannot pass.
God has shrouded my paths in darkness.
God has stripped me of my honor
and removed the crown from my head.
God tears me down on every side
till I am gone.
God uproots my hope like a tree.
God's anger burns against me.
God counts me among his enemies.
God's troops advance in force.
They build a siege ramp against me
and encamp around my tent.
Remember from last week
that Job had lost all his possessions.
He had lost his family.
He had lost his health.
And here he expresses his anger.
He shouts at God
and accuses God of being like an invading army
that is swept into his life,
taking away and destroying
what is most valuable
and precious to him.
Anger is an expression
of our grief.
So I wonder if somebody wouldn't mind
closing the doors.
I think there's doors open there.
Thank you.
So second,
so first,
response
in times of struggle
and suffering
of grieving
is one of anger.
The second is sorrow.
When we go through trials,
we can be full of sorrow.
Have a look at Psalm 13.
Psalm 13, verse 1.
Psalm 13.
How long, Lord,
will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
How long has God forgotten me?
He doesn't love me.
He doesn't care.
And with unanswered questions,
all we are left with is sorrow.
Broken hearts that seem to find no comfort.
Flick back to Psalm 6.
Here the psalmist again pours out his sorrow.
Psalm 6, verse 6.
I am worn out from my groany.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow.
They fail because of all my foes.
You see, when all the shouting is done,
when the anger subsides and no answers come,
then all that is left is sorrow.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
Listen to this account written by Dustin.
I don't know him, but read his story this week.
He recounts his family's sorrow.
He says,
This was certainly what my wife and I experienced
after our son Owen died in 2003.
We were living in the Middle East
and as Kelly went into labour
we were medically evacuated to Istanbul, Turkey
where premature babies have a better chance of survival.
He was born October the 3rd
but he only lived for 20 minutes.
I saw him kicking and moving
and heard him give one little cry
but that was it.
Our firstborn had died.
The pain was unlike anything we had ever experienced.
We felt alone.
A few nights after Owen died
my wife stayed up for hours
scouring the scriptures for hope and comfort.
She finally fell asleep
more discouraged than ever
because she found none.
Of course it was there
but when we are in the depths of pain
we often can't see it
let alone feel it.
Sorrow
is an expression
of our grief.
The third expression
of our grief
I think is one of despair.
Turn to Psalm 88.
As we face into the darkness
of our struggles
sometimes our grief
is one of just
utter despair.
The Hebrew title of this Psalm
is the suffering
of affliction.
It's almost like the suffering
of suffering.
It's the most discouraging
and despairing Psalm written
perhaps
the most discouraging
in all
of Scripture.
Follow with me
as I read
verse 1
Lord
you are the God
who saves me
day and night
I cry out to you
may my prayer
come before you
turn your ear
to my cry.
I am overwhelmed
with troubles
and my life
draws near to death.
I am counted
among those
who go down
to the pit.
I am like one
without strength.
I am set apart
from the dead
like the slain
who lie in the grave
whom you remember
no more
who are cut off
from your care.
Verse 15
From my youth
I have suffered
and been close to death.
I have borne
your terrors
and I am in despair.
Your wrath
has swept over me
your terrors
have destroyed me
all day long
they surround me
like a flood
they have completely
engulfed me.
You have taken
from me
friend
and neighbour.
Darkness
is my closest friend.
This writer
is grieving.
In fact
it seems
he has been grieving
most of his life.
Look at verse 15
From my youth
I have suffered.
There seems
to have been
no let up
throughout
verse 17
all day long.
They surround
me like a flood.
Every day
is like
it's going
to be his last.
But he's done
with being angry.
There are no more
tears to be shed
at night.
The tears
have run dry
instead
it is now
just despair.
Look at the end
of verse 18
Darkness
is my closest
friend.
The psalm
ends without
any hope.
There is no
Oh
but I will yet
praise the Lord.
There is no
yet this I know
God will
deliver me.
The suffering
has extinguished
the light
and all
that is left
is hopeless
darkness.
One writer
said this
about the psalm
whoever
devises
from the
scriptures
a philosophy
in which
everything
turns out
right
has to
begin by
tearing
this page
out
of the
Bible.
Now some
of you
here know
what this
writer is
talking about.
Some of you
have been
in this
darkness.
Despair
is an
expression
of our
grief.
But why
do we have
these expressions
of grief?
Why have
they been
written down
for us?
Well three
reasons I
think they
are here
for us.
First
they give
us
permission
to grieve.
We're not
very good
at handling
grief are
we?
In our
attempts to
comfort one
another we
say things
like well
God is
sovereign,
God is
in control,
we just
need to
move on
and get
on.
Well it's
true God
is sovereign.
He is in
control over
our suffering.
Yes God
is with us
in our
pain even
when we
cannot see
it but
it still
hurts.
God's
control over
our suffering
does not
take the
pain out
of suffering.
Theological
explanations
do not
end our
hurts.
We need
to be able
to grieve.
We just
need to
cry.
We don't
have to
grin and
bear it.
The
Psalms teach
us that
this is
right and
normal.
God is
giving us
permission.
We're not
meant to
understand the
things we
go through.
We are
not meant
to be
strong and
brave.
We're not
meant to
have it all
together.
We need
to learn
to grieve.
Second,
our grief
is an
expression of
faith.
I wonder
if you
noticed as
we look
in each
of these
Psalms,
whether it
was one
of anger
or sorrow
or times
of despair,
it's all
spoken out
to God.
There are
no answers,
there are
no comfort,
but yet
all of
their
questions,
all of
their anger,
their
disappointments
is all
directed
towards God.
And I
want us
to see
this,
that this
is not
sinful.
It is
not wrong
to do
this.
It is
an expression
of our
faith.
Sometimes
people will
come alongside
you and
say,
you need
to have
more faith.
If you
have faith,
your grief
will be
removed and
will be
replaced with
healing and
joy.
No, we
don't need
more faith.
Grief is
an expression
of our
faith.
As we
grieve,
we are
learning to
lean on
God.
Here's how
one writer
put it.
As we
grieve,
we strengthen
our faith.
It enables
us to
trust more
in God
and his
resources
than in
ourselves.
With every
loss, we
are reminded
of the fact
that we
are not
in control
and we
are not
self-sufficient.
Every loss
allows us
to rest
in the
grace of
God,
enabling us
to change
our perspective
and allow
our hope
and anticipation
of the
life to
come to
grow.
So we
have
permission
to grieve.
Grief
is an
expression of
our faith.
And then
third, grief
will give
way to
joy.
Psalm 30
verse 5
says this,
Weeping
may stay
for the
night,
but rejoicing
comes in
the morning.
Just as
the darkness
of the
night is
dispelled
by the
rising sun,
so with
the coming
of Jesus
Christ,
the suffering
will be
removed and
replaced with
joy.
As sure
as and
certain as
the sun
will rise
every
morning,
so we
can be
absolutely
sure with
the coming
of Jesus.
The
darkness
will end,
sorrow
will cease,
and grieving
will be no
more.
None of
us knows
how long
the night
will last,
but morning
is coming.
Weeping
may be
our
experience.
The night
may drag
on,
but joy
awaits.
You see,
grief
changes
our
perspective
and allows
us to
rest,
to depend
upon God.
And
anticipation
of the
life to
come
grows.
grief
will
come.
Grieving
will come.
Grieving
is painful.
And then
third,
grieving
for us.
As we
grieve,
we need
to remember
that God
grieves
with us
and for
us.
I'd like
us to
look to
Isaiah
43,
so just
go forward
from
Sam
until
you
come to
Isaiah.
Sam's
Proverbs
Song of
Solomon
or
Ecclesiastes
Song of
Solomon,
Isaiah
43.
This is
where we
started
this morning,
Isaiah
43,
verse
1.
Isaiah
43,
starting
at
verse 1.
But now
this is
what the
Lord says,
He who
created
you,
Jacob,
He who
formed
you,
Israel,
do not
fear,
for I
have
redeemed
you.
I
have
summoned
you by
name.
You
are
mine.
When
you pass
through
the
water,
waters,
I will
be with
you.
And when
you pass
through the
rivers,
they will
not sweep
over you.
When you
walk through
the fire,
you will
not be
burned.
The flames
will not
set you
ablaze.
Now
verse 2
is a
promise
and a
problem.
The
promise is
clear,
God is
with us,
we will
not be
overcome.
And
here is
the
problem.
The
problem
is
unanswered
prayers
and no
respite
makes us
feel God
is not
with us.
When we
do pass
through the
rivers,
it is
like they
do sweep
over us
and we
feel like
we are
drowning
and we
can't
breathe.
And when
we walk
through the
fire of
struggle,
it is
as if we
are burning
up.
we
experience
no comfort
or relief.
So how
can God
say he
is with
us?
And how
can he
say the
flames
will not
touch
us?
Well,
what God
has promised
has been
fulfilled.
He came
and entered
into our
grief
to redeem
us so
that he
might call
us and
might say
over us
mine.
You
belong to
me so
that you
might know
me forever.
Have a
look at
Isaiah 53,
just a
couple of
chapters on.
Keep in
mind the
promise that
God says
we will
walk through
those rivers,
we will
go through
the
furnace.
Isaiah 53,
this is
speaking of
God,
but yet
pointing
forward to
the God
man Jesus
Christ who
was to
come.
God knows
what it is
to suffer.
He enters
into our
grief.
Chapter
53,
verse 3.
He was
despised and
rejected by
mankind,
a man of
suffering and
familiar with
pain.
Like one
from whom
people hide
their faces,
he was
despised and
we held
him in
low esteem.
But more
than that,
God entered
our grief
to deal
with our
sin so
that we
might know
God with
us.
Verse 4,
surely he
took up
our pain
and bore
our suffering.
Yet we
considered him
punished by
God,
stricken by
him and
afflicted.
But he
was pierced
for our
transgressions.
He was
crushed for
our iniquities.
The punishment
that brought
us peace
was on him
and by
his wounds,
by his
sufferings,
we are
healed.
How do
we know
this is
true?
How do
we know
this is
what God
has done
for us?
Well,
have a look
at Matthew
chapter 26.
The first
book in the
New Testament,
Matthew
chapter 26
and verse
37.
Matthew
26.
Here,
God,
in the
person of
Jesus,
is facing
his own
death and
suffering on
the cross
and uses
those very
words from
Isaiah 53
as his
own as
he cries
out,
his own
grief to
God.
Verse 37.
Jesus took
Peter and
the two
sons of
Zebedee
along with
him and
he began
to be
sorrowful
and troubled,
an expression
of grief,
of sorrow
and despair.
Then he
said to
them,
my soul
is overwhelmed
with sorrow
to the
point of
death.
stay
here and
keep
watch
with
me.
The
agony
of
death
and
judgment
stares
him in
the
face.
It
doesn't
just
bring
sorrow,
but it's
a complete
overwhelming
of
utter
despair.
Verse 39,
going a
little
further,
he fell
with his
face to
the
ground
and
prayed,
my
father,
if it
is
possible,
take
this
cup
from
me,
yet
not
as
I
will,
but
as
you
will.
Jesus
grieves
for us.
He is
willing to
go through
our
death
and our
suffering
for our
sin,
because
here is
Jesus
hung on
the
cross.
He
passes
through
the river
for us.
He
walks
through
the
fire
for us.
He
is
overcome
by the
waters
of
judgment.
The
flames
of
God's
wrath
consume
him.
Jesus
dies,
but as
he dies
for us,
he dies
so that
by his
sufferings
and by
his
wounds
we are
healed,
forgiven
of all
of our
sins so
that we
might belong
to him
and never
lose him.
We have
been
redeemed
so that
we may
experience
a new
creation
where
there
is
no
more
grieving
and we
will
receive
our
new
bodies
that
will
never
suffer
again.
You
see,
whatever
we
lose
because
of our
suffering,
whether it's
our health,
our loved
ones,
our dreams
or our
joys,
because
Christ
suffered
for us,
we will
never,
ever,
ever
lose
God.
He is
with us
today
and we
will
enjoy him
for an
eternity
because by
his wounds
we are
healed.
And so
whatever our
grief,
whatever our
struggle we
may be in
today,
whatever lies
in the
future,
we can
confidently
say,
when I
pass through
the waters,
he will
be with
me.
And when
I pass
through the
rivers,
they will
not sweep
over me.
And when
I walk
through the
fire,
I will
not be
burned.
The flames
will not
set me
ablaze.
We may
lose much
in this
life,
but we
will never
ever
lose
God.
He will
be with
us and
we will
be with
him for
all
eternity.
Learn,
my friends,
my brothers
and sisters,
learn that
we at
times need
to grieve
and cry
out to
God.
Let's
pray.
go
and
to