WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.020 I want you, or some people in this room, to help me introduce this message. 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:15.919 If you and your spouse have been married for at least 40 years, I want you to stand. 00:00:16.740 --> 00:00:21.140 You and your spouse, you've been married for 40 years at least, stand, okay? 00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:29.460 Now, if you've been married for at least 50 years, remain standing. 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.000 Okay? 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.899 If you've been married for at least 60 years, remain standing. 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:41.620 All right. 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:43.840 I don't have this in my notes now. 00:00:44.259 --> 00:00:48.939 If you've been married at least 65 years, remain standing. 00:00:51.939 --> 00:00:52.579 Okay. 00:00:53.299 --> 00:00:53.679 Okay. 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:58.840 Those 60, if you've been married 60 years, stand back up. 00:00:58.840 --> 00:01:00.460 Let's give them applause. 00:01:12.100 --> 00:01:24.820 What I'm doing here, I want you to see, we have many couples who at least appear to understand something about God's design for marriage. 00:01:24.819 --> 00:01:28.779 Now, I say they appear to understand they've stayed together this many years. 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:30.539 We don't know what it's like. 00:01:35.119 --> 00:01:35.639 Okay. 00:01:35.640 --> 00:01:44.719 But they are demonstrating for sure the permanent nature of marriage that Jesus described. 00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:45.599 Look at this verse. 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:50.200 He's talking about God's design for marriage in Genesis 2.24. 00:01:50.540 --> 00:01:50.960 And he says, 00:01:50.959 --> 00:02:00.000 That's the goal. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:05.639 I'm beginning a four-part series this morning called Building a Healthy Family. 00:02:05.640 --> 00:02:16.819 Today, we're going to look at God's design or God's original foundation for a healthy family in Genesis 2, verses 24 and 25. 00:02:16.819 --> 00:02:26.419 We're going to be looking at the foundation for a healthy family. 00:02:27.539 --> 00:02:30.299 We're focused on the husband-wife relationship today. 00:02:31.079 --> 00:02:34.039 Lord willing, we'll look at parent-child relationship. 00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:38.019 No, next week we're looking at the foundation for marriage today. 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:40.699 About two people coming together. 00:02:41.719 --> 00:02:45.060 Next week we're going to look at more details about the husband-wife relationship. 00:02:45.819 --> 00:02:48.939 Third week, the parent-child relationship. 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:54.699 Now, what we're looking at today in Genesis chapter 2, 00:02:55.859 --> 00:03:00.719 specifically verse 24, but we're adding to it verse 25 today. 00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:04.319 This is God's blueprint. 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:07.360 We have looked at this before. 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:12.120 It's been taught, preached by other people in this church. 00:03:13.300 --> 00:03:21.719 But nowhere else in the world outside of a church, a Christian teaching session setting, 00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:25.939 nowhere else in the world are you going to hear what we're going to look at today. 00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:34.939 God's design, His intent for how husbands and wives, men and women, come together and form their marriage. 00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:47.500 Virtually all research, secular and Christian, supports the idea that a healthy marriage provides the most solid foundation for a healthy home. 00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:51.340 I want you to look at something that comes from Focus on the Families. 00:03:51.340 --> 00:03:54.219 It was Citizens Link. 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:57.680 It's now called Family Policy Alliance. 00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:04.259 Marriage is good for people, for women, for men, and for children. 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:15.259 Research for the last 30 years continues to find ways in which lifelong marriage positively affects our physical and emotional health, 00:04:15.580 --> 00:04:16.959 and even our finances. 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:21.219 And at the end of that article, it says this, 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:27.899 a thriving society and culture depend on stable marriages. 00:04:31.099 --> 00:04:35.479 I don't know that you would call our current society and culture thriving. 00:04:36.939 --> 00:04:38.299 I don't see how we could. 00:04:38.300 --> 00:04:49.220 And one of the main reasons why it's not is because we as a country have sort of forgotten what we're going to look at today, 00:04:49.939 --> 00:04:55.259 God's design, God's intent for the home, the foundation for the home. 00:04:55.860 --> 00:04:56.500 Look with me. 00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:58.560 Genesis 2, 24 and 25. 00:04:59.400 --> 00:05:01.639 It'll be on the screen, but keep your Bibles open. 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:10.099 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 00:05:10.620 --> 00:05:14.919 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:22.539 Now, I've said several times by design, this is God's blueprint for marriage. 00:05:22.599 --> 00:05:23.680 This is the foundation. 00:05:24.419 --> 00:05:28.759 We're going to look at pillars that form a strong marriage. 00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:32.959 Some people, maybe some in this room, you're thinking, 00:05:33.480 --> 00:05:38.120 I think he's sort of overstating this, overstating the significance. 00:05:38.740 --> 00:05:40.379 Well, consider this. 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:48.079 When Jesus taught about marriage in the context of being questioned about divorce, 00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:53.680 when Jesus taught about the foundational nature of marriage, he quoted Genesis 2, 24. 00:05:54.300 --> 00:05:55.659 It's in Matthew 19. 00:05:55.660 --> 00:06:05.100 When Paul gave detailed instructions about the home and about marriage, about husband-wife relationships, 00:06:05.740 --> 00:06:10.740 in Ephesians 5, he quoted Genesis 2, 24. 00:06:12.020 --> 00:06:17.580 It's not an overstatement for us to look at Genesis 2, 24 and 25 00:06:17.579 --> 00:06:30.099 as the bedrock, it's the foundation if you're interested in having a healthy marriage, family, home. 00:06:31.579 --> 00:06:38.479 I want us to look at this passage using four words that Chuck Swindoll coined to explain this passage. 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:41.580 I often use this in wedding ceremonies. 00:06:41.640 --> 00:06:44.819 And some of you here, we use this in your wedding ceremony. 00:06:45.700 --> 00:06:46.360 Here they are. 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:51.120 The words severance, permanence, unity, and intimacy. 00:06:52.080 --> 00:06:53.960 We're going to look at each one individually. 00:06:55.259 --> 00:06:56.400 Here's what I want us to understand. 00:06:57.259 --> 00:06:59.300 If we want to have healthy homes, 00:06:59.300 --> 00:07:07.460 we need to make sure that our marriage is based on these four foundational principles. 00:07:08.460 --> 00:07:09.400 Let's look at them. 00:07:09.860 --> 00:07:11.300 The principle of severance. 00:07:12.040 --> 00:07:14.759 The first step in the process of building a healthy home is this. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:17.939 A man shall leave his father and his mother. 00:07:19.160 --> 00:07:20.480 The same thing is true about a woman. 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:30.100 A woman must leave her father and mother first before the healthy home can be established. 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:31.660 Now, let's think about it for a moment. 00:07:32.020 --> 00:07:34.000 What does it mean to leave your father and mother? 00:07:35.640 --> 00:07:38.700 Does it mean to just say so long, forget it? 00:07:38.980 --> 00:07:40.120 You know, it was nice knowing you? 00:07:40.420 --> 00:07:41.280 Obviously not. 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:46.300 When he says to leave your father and mother, it does not mean to abandon them. 00:07:46.300 --> 00:07:50.400 It doesn't mean to cut them off from your life. 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:56.520 It does not mean that we would do anything that could be considered disrespectful. 00:07:57.900 --> 00:08:01.160 The fifth commandment states, honor your father and mother, 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:05.340 and it applies to adult children as well as small children. 00:08:05.939 --> 00:08:11.740 All of us in here, if our parents are still alive, we're supposed to honor them. 00:08:13.420 --> 00:08:19.600 And leaving father or mother does not give us a license to dishonor them. 00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:21.439 What does it mean? 00:08:22.340 --> 00:08:24.360 Well, again, I want to quote Swindoll. 00:08:24.740 --> 00:08:30.080 He has a good definition, I think, or explanation of what it means to leave your father and mother. 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:42.079 He says it means to sever tight, emotionally dependent strings that once provided security, protection, financial, and physical needs. 00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:52.419 All or any of those ties, if brought over into a marriage, will hinder the bond of marriage from sealing. 00:08:52.419 --> 00:09:01.019 So God mentions this first, even before he talks about uniting or cleaving to each other. 00:09:02.279 --> 00:09:11.799 When we get married, when you got married, your relational priorities should have changed. 00:09:11.799 --> 00:09:16.559 For those of you who are not married yet, you're thinking one day you will. 00:09:16.819 --> 00:09:24.099 When you get married, your relational priorities should change. 00:09:25.359 --> 00:09:30.459 The number one person in your life, if you're married, should be your spouse. 00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:34.340 Now, it takes time for that to happen. 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:44.019 And in normal courtships, in normal engagement periods, that should be taking place. 00:09:44.019 --> 00:09:50.899 If you're engaged. 00:09:50.899 --> 00:09:52.879 If you're engaged, you're engaged. 00:09:54.279 --> 00:10:00.579 The process, the process of leaving father and mother should already be underway. 00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:10.059 And if you've been dating for five years, you've been engaged for eight months, and you don't see any signs, that's a red flag. 00:10:10.059 --> 00:10:16.759 If he's still mama's boy, or she's still daddy's girl, and it looks like, where do I fit in? 00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:18.039 Red flag. 00:10:20.599 --> 00:10:31.339 By the time you get married, by the time we got married, we should have made the definite commitment 00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:42.139 that my wife, my husband, is the number one person in my life under Christ. 00:10:43.180 --> 00:10:48.019 Now, how this change takes place depends on the couple and their parents. 00:10:49.580 --> 00:10:54.220 It's according to the kind of relationship you had before you get married, 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:57.440 as to how this actually works itself out. 00:10:57.440 --> 00:11:03.360 But for some people, the best way for this to take place is to move away. 00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:08.400 For some people, move far, far away. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:18.200 Lisa and I got married, and we lived one year, about 15 minutes from her family, and about 45 minutes from my family. 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:20.140 After one year, we moved. 00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:21.780 She was from Belton, I was from Pendleton. 00:11:21.779 --> 00:11:28.539 After one year, we moved to Fort Worth, Texas, for me to go to seminary, and we lived out there for three years. 00:11:30.299 --> 00:11:37.220 And it was one of the best things that we could ever have done for our relationship. 00:11:38.319 --> 00:11:42.699 And I want you to understand, we didn't have any problems when we lived close by that first year. 00:11:42.700 --> 00:11:48.580 We, I never thought Lisa didn't leave father and mother to be united to me. 00:11:48.660 --> 00:11:52.320 She never thought that I didn't leave father and mother and be united to her. 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:56.980 But moving away like we did, where we didn't know anyone, we were not kin to anyone, 00:11:58.520 --> 00:12:05.259 living a thousand miles away from family for three years, it made us draw close together. 00:12:06.259 --> 00:12:08.560 It made us spend a lot more time together. 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:18.419 We learned to depend on one another in a way I don't think we ever could have, or maybe not would have, 00:12:18.899 --> 00:12:22.559 if we'd always lived close by to our parents. 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:24.439 So I highly recommend it. 00:12:25.779 --> 00:12:31.500 If it's on the verge of happening, couple, embrace it. 00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:32.339 It's an adventure. 00:12:32.340 --> 00:12:39.379 Dad, mom, if it's your child is about to go, it is sad. 00:12:41.300 --> 00:12:42.980 It can be gut-wrenching. 00:12:43.820 --> 00:12:45.620 But give them your blessing. 00:12:46.620 --> 00:12:54.080 It is, under most circumstances, it is going to be a good thing for their relationship, for their marriage. 00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:57.700 Now, everybody doesn't have to move away. 00:12:57.700 --> 00:13:01.960 I know that, and I'm not saying that you have to. 00:13:03.400 --> 00:13:11.200 Everyone does not have to move away, but everyone has to break away from being dependent upon, 00:13:11.300 --> 00:13:16.780 having those tight, emotional, and other strings attached to their parents. 00:13:16.779 --> 00:13:31.419 The break has got to be made if you're going to have a close, bonding kind of marriage in every way that we read about here in Genesis 2.24. 00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:41.339 You cannot have the solid foundation for a healthy marriage and be tied to mama or daddy, either one of you. 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:42.819 I want to repeat that. 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:46.319 You cannot be the spouse that you ought to be to your husband. 00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:53.500 You cannot provide the model you ought to provide to your children if your mother is the first woman in your life, man. 00:13:55.300 --> 00:13:59.440 If your dad is the first man in your life, woman. 00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:03.500 That's not how God designed it to be. 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:07.440 And there are no exceptions. 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:13.600 Now, there's a word in here for parents. 00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:18.120 Let your adult married child go. 00:14:21.180 --> 00:14:24.399 Let your adult married child go. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:29.600 Allow them to leave you and grow close to their mate. 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:32.040 That is God's will. 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:33.360 That is God's design. 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:40.200 If you want to be on board with God's design, God's plan for your children's home, 00:14:41.139 --> 00:14:43.120 you might need to cut the strings. 00:14:44.659 --> 00:14:49.340 You might need to tell them, talk to your spouse about that. 00:14:50.779 --> 00:14:54.039 You and him or you and her, you make the decision. 00:14:55.080 --> 00:14:56.440 You talk about it. 00:14:56.440 --> 00:14:58.220 It doesn't involve me. 00:14:58.700 --> 00:15:00.320 It's not my decision to make. 00:15:00.420 --> 00:15:01.260 It is yours. 00:15:04.580 --> 00:15:06.400 Both of our sons are married. 00:15:06.540 --> 00:15:07.620 Most of you know that. 00:15:07.740 --> 00:15:09.040 Know my whole family. 00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:14.599 We love our daughters-in-law. 00:15:16.019 --> 00:15:21.259 We have been blessed by two daughters-in-law and two grandchildren. 00:15:22.139 --> 00:15:25.079 We have a great relationship with our daughters-in-law. 00:15:26.079 --> 00:15:28.659 We do a lot of things together. 00:15:29.659 --> 00:15:32.899 They put up with me aggravating them all the time. 00:15:32.899 --> 00:15:40.379 But I want to tell you this, and you can ask both boys and daughters-in-law to verify. 00:15:41.299 --> 00:15:42.799 We don't try to run their life. 00:15:44.459 --> 00:15:48.399 We do not try in any way to run their lives. 00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:54.379 Believe it or not, I do not give my boys a whole lot of unsolicited advice. 00:15:55.439 --> 00:15:58.259 I don't tell them everything I think about what they're doing. 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:00.079 Now, I'll be honest with you. 00:16:00.079 --> 00:16:02.759 If it's just something stupid, I'm going to tell them that's stupid. 00:16:02.899 --> 00:16:08.480 I couldn't sit by and let them do something I thought was just dumb. 00:16:08.600 --> 00:16:09.439 This is just crazy. 00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:11.759 And not tell them. 00:16:12.939 --> 00:16:16.259 But if they choose to do it, it's their decision. 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:19.100 And they will live with it. 00:16:19.899 --> 00:16:20.779 Not me. 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:27.840 My boys, my daughters-in-law, these two families, 00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:31.679 they live their lives. 00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:35.859 They live the lives that they choose. 00:16:38.099 --> 00:16:41.379 We don't try to tell them what to do. 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:48.879 Now, I want to give here sort of what you might call a free piece of advice 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:52.939 to parents of grown children. 00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:58.760 None of your children have told me this, but some of them wish they would like to. 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:02.100 Don't go to their house uninvited. 00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.019 Mama-in-law and papa-in-law. 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:10.660 Mama and daddy have grown men and women. 00:17:10.660 --> 00:17:16.340 Don't show up at the doorstep uninvited. 00:17:17.300 --> 00:17:19.700 Don't make surprise visits. 00:17:21.700 --> 00:17:25.040 They may not tell you that because they want to spare your feelings, 00:17:25.140 --> 00:17:25.980 but they don't like it. 00:17:28.060 --> 00:17:29.140 You're intruding. 00:17:29.140 --> 00:17:34.580 You're actually crossing the line. 00:17:36.980 --> 00:17:38.259 Always call. 00:17:40.040 --> 00:17:41.920 Always see if it's okay. 00:17:42.920 --> 00:17:45.320 If you're not going to be interfering. 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:50.700 Respect their privacy. 00:17:53.700 --> 00:17:56.439 Now, for you who needed me to say that, 00:17:56.899 --> 00:17:59.159 $20 would be sufficient on your way out. 00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:02.819 Parents and adult children, 00:18:02.919 --> 00:18:04.519 and I want to clarify something here. 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:07.179 Parents and adult children can have a great relationship. 00:18:07.180 --> 00:18:11.180 Parents and adult children can have a close relationship 00:18:11.840 --> 00:18:15.060 and enjoy life together and do a lot of things together. 00:18:16.060 --> 00:18:17.240 And that's the goal. 00:18:18.420 --> 00:18:20.539 But it should never be a question 00:18:20.539 --> 00:18:23.160 as to who is first 00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:27.360 in a married man and married woman's life. 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:32.700 Lisa and I are first in each other's life under God. 00:18:33.620 --> 00:18:34.980 And her parents know that. 00:18:35.060 --> 00:18:35.880 They're alive right now. 00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:36.360 They know that. 00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:37.299 They've always known that. 00:18:37.859 --> 00:18:39.919 My parents knew that. 00:18:41.179 --> 00:18:42.639 They always knew that. 00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:44.500 My boys, 00:18:45.740 --> 00:18:47.039 they can tell you, 00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:51.719 Lisa and I are first in each other's lives. 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:53.639 Those of you who know us, 00:18:53.740 --> 00:18:54.259 you know it. 00:18:54.339 --> 00:18:55.019 You see it. 00:18:56.859 --> 00:18:58.819 Here's what we want for our boys. 00:18:58.819 --> 00:19:03.199 We want Amy to be number one in David's life. 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:09.460 We want Jennifer to be number one in Michael's life. 00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:13.299 That's God's plan. 00:19:14.380 --> 00:19:15.819 That's the way he made marriage. 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:17.700 That is his will. 00:19:17.700 --> 00:19:21.259 And that's what my grandchildren, 00:19:21.259 --> 00:19:23.500 their children need to see. 00:19:23.980 --> 00:19:27.279 And the same thing applies to you and your family. 00:19:27.980 --> 00:19:30.100 That's the principle of severance. 00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:31.419 Let's move. 00:19:31.419 --> 00:19:33.279 The principle of permanence. 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:35.000 The next phrase, 00:19:35.159 --> 00:19:38.379 hold fast to his wife or be united to his wife. 00:19:39.019 --> 00:19:39.500 Either way, 00:19:39.579 --> 00:19:40.659 translated both ways. 00:19:41.740 --> 00:19:42.439 This refers, 00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.259 this idea of holding fast, 00:19:45.659 --> 00:19:46.740 being united. 00:19:47.819 --> 00:19:48.779 The old King James, 00:19:48.919 --> 00:19:49.699 cleave. 00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:52.819 It refers to the strongest of possible unions, 00:19:52.939 --> 00:19:55.319 like being glued together or welded together. 00:19:55.319 --> 00:19:59.439 In order for a marriage to survive and thrive, 00:19:59.740 --> 00:20:04.240 both husband and wife must make the commitment to each other. 00:20:04.980 --> 00:20:05.619 This is permanent. 00:20:06.379 --> 00:20:07.779 This is not a trial marriage. 00:20:08.379 --> 00:20:10.259 This is not we hope it works out. 00:20:11.539 --> 00:20:13.799 This is for life. 00:20:14.819 --> 00:20:17.659 And separation or divorce should never be an option. 00:20:19.539 --> 00:20:22.579 Divorce was not a part of God's original plan, 00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:23.700 as Jesus reveals. 00:20:23.819 --> 00:20:24.240 Look at it. 00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:26.839 This is Matthew 19, 00:20:26.939 --> 00:20:30.579 where he's being sort of sucked into a discussion. 00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:33.879 People arguing over grounds for divorce and so forth. 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:35.240 Jesus replied, 00:20:36.299 --> 00:20:39.359 Moses permitted you to divorce your wives 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:40.980 because your hearts were hard. 00:20:41.679 --> 00:20:43.679 But it was not this way from the beginning. 00:20:43.859 --> 00:20:44.939 It was not God's design. 00:20:46.779 --> 00:20:48.439 Anytime a marriage breaks up, 00:20:48.439 --> 00:20:51.359 it is a violation of God's intent for that marriage. 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:54.359 So divorce happens because of sin. 00:20:54.359 --> 00:20:55.279 But listen to this. 00:20:56.879 --> 00:21:00.179 While all divorces involve sin, 00:21:00.619 --> 00:21:05.299 not everyone involved in the divorce is guilty of sin. 00:21:06.379 --> 00:21:09.859 There are biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. 00:21:09.859 --> 00:21:12.339 That's not our point this morning. 00:21:12.339 --> 00:21:13.919 We've talked about that in days gone by. 00:21:15.019 --> 00:21:16.779 We're focusing on marriage this morning. 00:21:18.299 --> 00:21:19.879 And just as an aside, 00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:24.119 just for the case of maybe the few who are here who think this way, 00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:28.299 a person who's been divorced for whatever reason can be forgiven. 00:21:28.299 --> 00:21:36.479 If we truly repent of any sin and seek forgiveness by trusting in Christ, 00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:37.939 then our sins are forgiven. 00:21:37.940 --> 00:21:43.920 There's been a day in church life and in Baptist life in particular maybe, 00:21:44.759 --> 00:21:47.299 when divorce was considered the unpardonable sin, 00:21:47.360 --> 00:21:49.700 and that's always been wrong, and it's wrong today. 00:21:49.700 --> 00:21:54.460 There's nothing that irritates me more than somebody who's never been divorced, 00:21:54.580 --> 00:21:57.120 who has a smug, look-down-their-nose attitude, 00:21:57.500 --> 00:21:58.880 as somebody who has been divorced. 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:03.279 So I want to throw that part out. 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:05.620 Because there's been too many people 00:22:05.620 --> 00:22:07.940 wounded by churches 00:22:07.940 --> 00:22:09.700 with arrogant attitudes 00:22:10.539 --> 00:22:14.559 just because they've stayed married, 00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:17.000 or people who just stayed married. 00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:19.000 I've told you this before, 00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:21.839 and I said what I said about people being married a long time. 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:23.859 It appears they're doing something right. 00:22:23.960 --> 00:22:26.079 It appears they're following God's design. 00:22:26.659 --> 00:22:28.119 Everybody who stays married 00:22:28.119 --> 00:22:30.359 didn't want to stay married. 00:22:31.700 --> 00:22:32.639 Many years ago, 00:22:32.679 --> 00:22:34.039 I had a lady that I knew, 00:22:35.319 --> 00:22:37.279 her husband of 50 or 60 years, 00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:37.839 I can't remember, 00:22:37.940 --> 00:22:38.919 it was a long time, 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:39.980 50 or 60 years, 00:22:40.659 --> 00:22:41.279 he died. 00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:44.079 And I asked her, 00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:45.619 or I said something to her, 00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:47.500 I know you miss John. 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:48.440 She said, 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:51.200 I don't miss him, 00:22:51.259 --> 00:22:52.159 I'm glad he's dead. 00:22:52.339 --> 00:22:53.119 And I'm serious. 00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:54.740 Those were her exact words. 00:22:54.940 --> 00:22:55.659 I don't miss him, 00:22:55.740 --> 00:22:57.099 I'm glad he's dead. 00:22:58.159 --> 00:22:59.279 They had a terrible relationship. 00:22:59.419 --> 00:23:00.799 He was meaner than a snake. 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:03.839 She was glad he died. 00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:06.000 So everybody that sticks together, 00:23:06.179 --> 00:23:06.899 it's not a wonderful, 00:23:07.019 --> 00:23:09.000 it's not a God-honoring marriage. 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:12.859 And sometimes there are grounds for divorce. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:15.039 So, 00:23:15.399 --> 00:23:18.079 God intends for us to think of marriage 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:19.480 as a lifetime commitment. 00:23:20.299 --> 00:23:20.700 Permanent. 00:23:22.099 --> 00:23:23.740 And you need to let that sink in 00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:24.740 if you're married right now. 00:23:26.460 --> 00:23:27.700 You need to think right now. 00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:29.480 If you're a Christian, 00:23:29.619 --> 00:23:30.740 your spouse is a Christian, 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.440 you both want to make your marriage work, 00:23:34.539 --> 00:23:35.240 you can. 00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:39.019 Changes may need to take place, 00:23:39.740 --> 00:23:40.679 but you can. 00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:42.180 That's God's plan. 00:23:42.380 --> 00:23:43.120 He'll help you. 00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:43.779 Number three, 00:23:44.080 --> 00:23:45.600 the principle of unity. 00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:48.460 I want you to look at this next phrase. 00:23:49.340 --> 00:23:51.680 Talking about them becoming one flesh, 00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:52.880 they shall become one flesh. 00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:57.080 This refers to more than the sexual relationship. 00:23:57.480 --> 00:23:58.200 It includes that, 00:23:58.279 --> 00:24:00.680 but also the emotional and spiritual aspects 00:24:01.380 --> 00:24:03.620 of oneness are included. 00:24:04.940 --> 00:24:06.420 Now, obviously, 00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:08.080 this is not something that happens overnight. 00:24:08.779 --> 00:24:09.680 It's a process. 00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:11.420 You have to grow together, 00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:14.080 work at growing together in oneness. 00:24:14.820 --> 00:24:16.080 But this one flesh relationship, 00:24:16.700 --> 00:24:20.299 it is the foundation for a healthy marriage. 00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:24.660 And it also explains why God created marriage 00:24:24.660 --> 00:24:25.340 in the first place. 00:24:25.560 --> 00:24:27.039 I want you to look at Genesis 2.18. 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:28.100 We'll put it on the screen. 00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:30.039 It says, 00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:31.340 Then the Lord God said, 00:24:31.779 --> 00:24:35.160 It is not good that the man should be alone. 00:24:35.259 --> 00:24:37.700 I will make him a helper fit for him. 00:24:37.700 --> 00:24:40.779 The only thing prior to the fall 00:24:40.779 --> 00:24:42.539 that God said wasn't good, 00:24:42.700 --> 00:24:44.140 and it was that the man was alone. 00:24:46.340 --> 00:24:48.580 God created most people, 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:50.680 the overwhelming majority of people, 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:55.120 to not be complete alone, 00:24:55.980 --> 00:24:57.759 to desire a spouse. 00:24:57.759 --> 00:24:59.319 And by the way, 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:00.500 this is not the message this morning, 00:25:01.019 --> 00:25:03.339 but under God's design, 00:25:03.740 --> 00:25:06.240 there's only one definition of marriage. 00:25:06.299 --> 00:25:08.519 It's between a man and a woman only, 00:25:08.680 --> 00:25:09.359 exclusively. 00:25:10.379 --> 00:25:12.259 Regardless of what the Supreme Court 00:25:12.259 --> 00:25:13.160 of the United States says, 00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:15.180 regardless of what becomes law today, 00:25:16.299 --> 00:25:17.299 before God, 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:20.019 according to the truth of His Word, 00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:23.200 marriage is intended for one man 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:25.240 and one woman only. 00:25:27.799 --> 00:25:29.779 And the purpose 00:25:29.779 --> 00:25:31.779 is companionship. 00:25:32.819 --> 00:25:33.620 The reason, 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:35.240 the first reason given 00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:36.500 for why God created marriage 00:25:36.500 --> 00:25:37.240 here in 2.18, 00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:38.559 companionship. 00:25:39.840 --> 00:25:41.380 The first great purpose 00:25:41.380 --> 00:25:42.319 of your marriage, 00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:43.580 just think about your marriage, 00:25:44.420 --> 00:25:46.539 is to provide companionship. 00:25:47.740 --> 00:25:49.980 God intends for husbands and wives 00:25:49.980 --> 00:25:51.620 to share life together 00:25:51.620 --> 00:25:53.039 in a one flesh, 00:25:54.420 --> 00:25:55.200 emotionally, 00:25:56.860 --> 00:25:57.680 physically, 00:25:58.700 --> 00:25:59.299 relationship. 00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:01.579 A simple way to say this is, 00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:03.380 God intends for you and your spouse 00:26:03.380 --> 00:26:04.420 to be best friends. 00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:06.579 Not only friends now. 00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:08.599 Every man in here, 00:26:08.700 --> 00:26:09.599 you need some more, 00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:11.000 you need male friends. 00:26:11.120 --> 00:26:11.819 Every woman in here, 00:26:11.880 --> 00:26:13.180 you need female friends. 00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:14.460 For sure. 00:26:14.819 --> 00:26:16.039 And we can have friends 00:26:16.039 --> 00:26:17.700 of the opposite sex, 00:26:17.700 --> 00:26:19.380 but we can't have our best friend 00:26:19.380 --> 00:26:20.260 of the opposite sex. 00:26:20.320 --> 00:26:21.040 It's not healthy. 00:26:22.840 --> 00:26:23.960 Unless it's your spouse. 00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:25.820 And that's the goal 00:26:25.820 --> 00:26:26.740 for your spouse 00:26:26.740 --> 00:26:28.300 to be your best friend. 00:26:28.380 --> 00:26:29.300 Now here's what I want to ask you. 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:33.360 In your relationship 00:26:33.360 --> 00:26:34.180 with your spouse, 00:26:35.360 --> 00:26:37.440 are you a real companion? 00:26:39.660 --> 00:26:41.180 Does your spouse feel like 00:26:41.180 --> 00:26:42.420 you are a real companion? 00:26:42.600 --> 00:26:44.380 Or does your spouse 00:26:44.380 --> 00:26:45.920 feel like 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:46.980 he or she 00:26:46.980 --> 00:26:49.019 is living like 00:26:49.019 --> 00:26:50.000 a single person 00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:51.720 because of the way 00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:53.140 that you treat them? 00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:54.720 You know, 00:26:54.740 --> 00:26:55.519 in some marriages, 00:26:55.840 --> 00:26:56.720 the husband and wife 00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:57.720 is more like a roommate 00:26:57.720 --> 00:26:59.779 than a husband and wife. 00:27:00.779 --> 00:27:01.840 In some marriages, 00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:02.600 a husband and wife 00:27:02.600 --> 00:27:03.539 share the same 00:27:03.539 --> 00:27:04.860 living space. 00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:08.279 But that's about 00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:08.960 all they share. 00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:12.860 They go their separate ways 00:27:12.860 --> 00:27:13.820 day in and day out. 00:27:13.819 --> 00:27:14.599 They have their own 00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:15.579 separate friends. 00:27:15.819 --> 00:27:16.419 They have their own 00:27:16.419 --> 00:27:17.559 separate interests. 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:19.799 And they just basically 00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:20.939 live as single people. 00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:23.240 They're like buddies 00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:24.059 with benefits. 00:27:26.139 --> 00:27:27.480 There's no real 00:27:27.480 --> 00:27:29.179 one flesh relationship 00:27:29.179 --> 00:27:30.659 present or growing. 00:27:31.980 --> 00:27:32.879 If that's where 00:27:32.879 --> 00:27:33.799 your marriage is now, 00:27:33.859 --> 00:27:34.700 you need to act now 00:27:34.700 --> 00:27:35.579 and do something about it 00:27:35.579 --> 00:27:36.460 to correct it. 00:27:36.460 --> 00:27:38.439 And the place to begin 00:27:38.439 --> 00:27:39.539 is to talk to God about it 00:27:39.539 --> 00:27:40.419 and talk to your spouse 00:27:40.419 --> 00:27:40.879 about it. 00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:43.820 You may not think 00:27:43.820 --> 00:27:44.480 it's a problem. 00:27:45.340 --> 00:27:46.300 Ask your spouse. 00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:48.480 Especially if you have 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:49.060 a lot of 00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:50.760 or one particular 00:27:50.760 --> 00:27:52.200 single guy friend 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:53.360 or another married guy 00:27:53.360 --> 00:27:54.560 who lives like a single guy. 00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:57.700 And you just do so much 00:27:57.700 --> 00:27:58.600 with that person. 00:27:58.740 --> 00:27:59.720 Most of your time 00:27:59.720 --> 00:28:01.220 is spent outside of work 00:28:01.220 --> 00:28:02.060 with that person. 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:03.680 Doing those fun things 00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:04.400 you like to do 00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:05.180 with that person. 00:28:05.180 --> 00:28:08.200 You might need 00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:09.019 to sort of stand back 00:28:09.019 --> 00:28:10.039 and look at how 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:11.060 I live my life. 00:28:11.539 --> 00:28:12.279 Who I'm really 00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:13.519 investing in. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:15.440 Where my time is going. 00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:17.700 Where does your spouse 00:28:17.700 --> 00:28:18.220 fit 00:28:18.220 --> 00:28:20.820 as you think about that? 00:28:22.220 --> 00:28:23.240 If you want to change 00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:23.519 something, 00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:24.560 it may be you've got 00:28:24.560 --> 00:28:25.279 to prioritize 00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:26.160 the people 00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:27.259 and things 00:28:27.259 --> 00:28:28.620 in your life 00:28:28.620 --> 00:28:31.220 so that your spouse 00:28:31.220 --> 00:28:31.779 will be 00:28:31.779 --> 00:28:33.100 at the top of the list 00:28:33.100 --> 00:28:33.680 right under your 00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:34.620 relationship with God. 00:28:35.180 --> 00:28:38.299 You should not let 00:28:38.299 --> 00:28:39.320 anyone or anything 00:28:39.320 --> 00:28:40.600 take your spouse's 00:28:40.600 --> 00:28:41.900 rightful place 00:28:41.900 --> 00:28:44.860 as being number one 00:28:44.860 --> 00:28:47.240 on earth to you. 00:28:49.299 --> 00:28:49.980 Developing this 00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:51.000 one flesh relationship 00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:52.400 as I said 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.240 it's not going to 00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:55.140 happen tonight. 00:28:55.539 --> 00:28:56.060 It's not going to 00:28:56.060 --> 00:28:57.080 happen this week. 00:28:57.900 --> 00:28:59.140 It's a process. 00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:00.299 It's going to take time. 00:29:00.360 --> 00:29:00.700 It's going to take 00:29:00.700 --> 00:29:01.340 patience. 00:29:02.080 --> 00:29:02.560 It's going to take 00:29:02.560 --> 00:29:03.820 forgiveness from time 00:29:03.820 --> 00:29:04.180 to time. 00:29:05.180 --> 00:29:05.740 It's going to take 00:29:05.740 --> 00:29:06.539 wisdom. 00:29:06.920 --> 00:29:07.380 It's going to take 00:29:07.380 --> 00:29:08.060 love. 00:29:09.320 --> 00:29:10.880 Self-giving love 00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:11.380 on the part 00:29:11.380 --> 00:29:12.200 of both husband 00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:12.740 and wife. 00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:14.539 Let's look at the 00:29:14.539 --> 00:29:14.940 next one. 00:29:15.120 --> 00:29:15.600 Final one. 00:29:15.660 --> 00:29:16.019 Number four. 00:29:16.120 --> 00:29:16.860 The principle of 00:29:16.860 --> 00:29:17.340 intimacy. 00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:18.620 And the man and his 00:29:18.620 --> 00:29:19.480 wife were both naked 00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:20.080 and they were not 00:29:20.080 --> 00:29:20.600 ashamed. 00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:21.480 I want you to notice 00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:22.320 that the principle of 00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:23.240 intimacy is found 00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:24.400 last in this passage. 00:29:25.180 --> 00:29:26.279 The idea is that 00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:27.200 the delights 00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:28.580 of intimacy. 00:29:28.900 --> 00:29:29.299 We're talking about 00:29:29.299 --> 00:29:30.360 the sexual relationship 00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:31.439 right here. 00:29:32.939 --> 00:29:33.719 The delights of 00:29:33.719 --> 00:29:34.379 intimacy between 00:29:34.379 --> 00:29:35.099 a husband and wife 00:29:35.099 --> 00:29:35.979 are enjoyed because 00:29:35.979 --> 00:29:38.119 severance, permanence, 00:29:38.639 --> 00:29:39.479 and unity 00:29:39.479 --> 00:29:41.579 are in operation. 00:29:42.639 --> 00:29:43.599 This little phrase 00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:44.839 tells us two things. 00:29:44.919 --> 00:29:45.419 First of all, 00:29:45.659 --> 00:29:47.259 premarital sex is wrong. 00:29:48.979 --> 00:29:50.119 I don't care what 00:29:50.119 --> 00:29:51.719 everybody else is doing. 00:29:51.719 --> 00:29:53.159 I don't care what 00:29:53.159 --> 00:29:54.199 the culture just 00:29:54.199 --> 00:29:55.719 expects nowadays. 00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:58.440 The sexual relationship 00:29:58.440 --> 00:30:00.339 is so special. 00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:01.839 God created sex, 00:30:01.940 --> 00:30:02.700 the sex drive. 00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:03.799 It is a gift from 00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:04.720 him, but it's so 00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:06.380 special he designed 00:30:06.380 --> 00:30:07.480 it to be enjoyed 00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:10.180 between a husband 00:30:10.180 --> 00:30:11.160 and wife only 00:30:11.160 --> 00:30:13.519 in the context 00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:14.299 of a marriage. 00:30:14.940 --> 00:30:15.799 It is special. 00:30:15.900 --> 00:30:16.640 It is important. 00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:18.460 And you need to 00:30:18.460 --> 00:30:19.339 wait if you're a 00:30:19.339 --> 00:30:19.960 single person 00:30:19.960 --> 00:30:22.000 until you 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:23.700 give yourself, 00:30:23.860 --> 00:30:24.860 until you leave 00:30:24.860 --> 00:30:25.480 your parents, 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:26.980 united to that 00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:27.440 spouse, 00:30:28.259 --> 00:30:28.860 and you're growing 00:30:28.860 --> 00:30:29.700 in that one flesh 00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:30.620 relationship in every 00:30:30.620 --> 00:30:30.920 way. 00:30:31.740 --> 00:30:32.420 Second thing this 00:30:32.420 --> 00:30:33.079 little phrase tells 00:30:33.079 --> 00:30:33.660 us is that 00:30:33.660 --> 00:30:35.019 extramarital sex is 00:30:35.019 --> 00:30:35.339 wrong. 00:30:37.019 --> 00:30:37.799 First thing that 00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:38.420 comes into mind, 00:30:38.500 --> 00:30:39.339 adultery, it is 00:30:39.339 --> 00:30:39.839 wrong. 00:30:41.579 --> 00:30:42.339 The intimacy 00:30:42.339 --> 00:30:43.039 between a husband 00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:44.120 and wife is so 00:30:44.120 --> 00:30:46.539 special and sacred 00:30:46.539 --> 00:30:48.640 that this intimacy 00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:49.460 must never be 00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:50.120 violated. 00:30:52.140 --> 00:30:53.440 Adultery is wrong, 00:30:53.559 --> 00:30:54.259 it's sinful, 00:30:54.259 --> 00:30:56.299 in every shape, 00:30:56.420 --> 00:30:56.940 form, or fashion. 00:30:56.940 --> 00:30:59.559 There are no 00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:00.319 excuses. 00:31:02.099 --> 00:31:02.640 But intimacy 00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:03.259 between a husband 00:31:03.259 --> 00:31:03.920 and wife cannot 00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:05.279 be, can also be 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:06.740 destroyed in other 00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:07.440 ways. 00:31:09.319 --> 00:31:10.480 In this day 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:11.099 especially, 00:31:12.579 --> 00:31:13.359 pornography 00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:16.220 destroys a lot 00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:17.119 of intimacy 00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:18.960 between husbands 00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:19.640 and wives. 00:31:19.640 --> 00:31:20.240 men. 00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:22.040 It's causing a lot 00:31:22.040 --> 00:31:22.920 of problems in the 00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:24.120 minds and hearts 00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:25.160 of men. 00:31:25.800 --> 00:31:26.500 It's doing a lot 00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:28.200 of damage in our 00:31:28.200 --> 00:31:29.460 culture, in our 00:31:29.460 --> 00:31:30.740 homes, in these 00:31:30.740 --> 00:31:31.680 kinds of, in our 00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:32.420 husband-wife 00:31:32.420 --> 00:31:33.140 relationships. 00:31:33.140 --> 00:31:35.540 It's not good 00:31:35.540 --> 00:31:36.000 and it's not 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:36.720 healthy to be 00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:37.540 always flirting 00:31:37.540 --> 00:31:38.200 around with 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:38.759 someone of the 00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:39.680 opposite sex. 00:31:41.180 --> 00:31:42.320 It is wrong, 00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:43.160 Jesus said, 00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:45.820 to look at a 00:31:45.820 --> 00:31:47.259 person and lust. 00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:49.100 You're committing 00:31:49.100 --> 00:31:49.840 adultery in your 00:31:49.840 --> 00:31:50.280 heart. 00:31:51.160 --> 00:31:52.580 Emotional affairs 00:31:52.580 --> 00:31:54.180 are sinful 00:31:54.180 --> 00:31:56.380 mental endeavors. 00:31:56.380 --> 00:31:58.960 I want to 00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.480 encourage you, 00:31:59.820 --> 00:32:00.900 guard your mind, 00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:02.380 guard your heart. 00:32:03.460 --> 00:32:04.400 Don't let anyone 00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:06.440 or anything into 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:07.700 your mind, into 00:32:07.700 --> 00:32:08.800 your body that 00:32:08.800 --> 00:32:10.300 would interfere in 00:32:10.300 --> 00:32:10.860 the relationship, 00:32:11.060 --> 00:32:11.800 the special, 00:32:12.180 --> 00:32:12.940 intimate relationship 00:32:12.940 --> 00:32:14.400 that God wants you 00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:16.700 to enjoy but 00:32:16.700 --> 00:32:18.140 exclusively experience 00:32:18.140 --> 00:32:19.620 with your spouse. 00:32:21.840 --> 00:32:22.760 I want you to 00:32:22.760 --> 00:32:23.180 understand this 00:32:23.180 --> 00:32:23.600 morning that what 00:32:23.600 --> 00:32:24.100 we're looking at is 00:32:24.100 --> 00:32:24.880 God's idea. 00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.060 marriage is God's 00:32:27.060 --> 00:32:28.000 idea and He designed 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:29.060 it to work in a 00:32:29.060 --> 00:32:29.920 certain way. 00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:31.780 And if we will 00:32:31.780 --> 00:32:33.020 patiently, 00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:34.780 faithfully, 00:32:35.420 --> 00:32:36.140 follow God's 00:32:36.140 --> 00:32:38.280 design, we'll 00:32:38.280 --> 00:32:38.900 have marriages, 00:32:39.080 --> 00:32:39.980 we'll have homes 00:32:39.980 --> 00:32:41.180 that are healthy 00:32:41.180 --> 00:32:42.580 and for the most 00:32:42.580 --> 00:32:43.860 part, happy. 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:45.480 You know, God is 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:46.080 still in the 00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:47.440 business of 00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:48.820 building marriages 00:32:48.820 --> 00:32:51.280 or if necessary, 00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:52.460 rebuilding them. 00:32:52.460 --> 00:32:55.480 It may be that 00:32:55.480 --> 00:32:56.980 as we've gone 00:32:56.980 --> 00:32:57.720 through this passage 00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:58.160 this morning, 00:32:58.279 --> 00:32:59.259 you see some 00:32:59.259 --> 00:33:02.860 cracks in the 00:33:02.860 --> 00:33:03.840 pillars, these 00:33:03.840 --> 00:33:04.920 four pillars of 00:33:04.920 --> 00:33:05.559 your marriage. 00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:06.600 And maybe just 00:33:06.600 --> 00:33:07.059 one of them or 00:33:07.059 --> 00:33:07.579 two of them. 00:33:08.840 --> 00:33:09.340 I want to 00:33:09.340 --> 00:33:10.160 encourage you to 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:11.319 acknowledge that. 00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:13.779 Talk to God 00:33:13.779 --> 00:33:14.319 about it. 00:33:15.259 --> 00:33:15.920 Talk to your 00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:16.660 spouse about it. 00:33:16.700 --> 00:33:17.380 Ask them if they 00:33:17.380 --> 00:33:18.400 see the same thing. 00:33:18.400 --> 00:33:21.660 develop a plan of 00:33:21.660 --> 00:33:22.700 action together 00:33:22.700 --> 00:33:25.320 to work on the 00:33:25.320 --> 00:33:27.100 severance, to work 00:33:27.100 --> 00:33:28.160 on the intimacy, 00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:31.040 to work on the 00:33:31.040 --> 00:33:32.640 oneness, the 00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:33.120 unity. 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.400 Make sure that 00:33:37.400 --> 00:33:38.560 Jesus Christ is 00:33:38.560 --> 00:33:39.220 your Lord. 00:33:40.360 --> 00:33:41.120 Make sure that His 00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:42.740 Spirit indwells you 00:33:42.740 --> 00:33:45.140 because you need 00:33:45.140 --> 00:33:46.300 His help to make 00:33:46.300 --> 00:33:46.880 this work. 00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:48.520 and make sure 00:33:48.520 --> 00:33:49.280 Christ is the 00:33:49.280 --> 00:33:49.820 Lord of your 00:33:49.820 --> 00:33:50.220 home. 00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:52.540 Make sure that 00:33:52.540 --> 00:33:53.160 you're desirable 00:33:53.160 --> 00:33:53.940 than anything else 00:33:53.940 --> 00:33:54.940 is to develop 00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:55.580 your marriage 00:33:55.580 --> 00:33:56.260 according to the 00:33:56.260 --> 00:33:56.940 way we've looked 00:33:56.940 --> 00:33:57.820 at this morning. 00:33:58.900 --> 00:33:59.620 No matter what 00:33:59.620 --> 00:34:01.140 anyone else tells 00:34:01.140 --> 00:34:01.580 you or whatever 00:34:01.580 --> 00:34:02.740 or anything else 00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:04.200 you read or see 00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:05.280 or hear. 00:34:07.420 --> 00:34:08.099 All of us 00:34:08.099 --> 00:34:08.619 understand the 00:34:08.619 --> 00:34:09.079 importance of 00:34:09.079 --> 00:34:09.880 having a strong, 00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:11.380 stable foundation 00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:12.039 for everything that 00:34:12.039 --> 00:34:12.500 we build. 00:34:13.240 --> 00:34:13.840 If you've built 00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:15.140 a house, you 00:34:15.140 --> 00:34:16.019 know a great 00:34:16.019 --> 00:34:16.840 effort was put 00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:17.780 into laying a 00:34:17.780 --> 00:34:19.120 good solid 00:34:19.120 --> 00:34:19.760 foundation. 00:34:20.600 --> 00:34:21.120 The house that 00:34:21.120 --> 00:34:21.780 you live in now, 00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:23.380 if it's got crawl 00:34:23.380 --> 00:34:24.019 space, you can 00:34:24.019 --> 00:34:24.579 crawl under there 00:34:24.579 --> 00:34:25.380 and you can see 00:34:25.380 --> 00:34:26.700 the foundation 00:34:26.700 --> 00:34:27.880 that's been put 00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:28.480 in place. 00:34:28.820 --> 00:34:29.380 If you live on a 00:34:29.380 --> 00:34:30.380 slab, you can see 00:34:30.380 --> 00:34:31.200 the slab that's 00:34:31.200 --> 00:34:31.600 been poured. 00:34:32.059 --> 00:34:33.059 We all know and 00:34:33.059 --> 00:34:33.780 understand the 00:34:33.780 --> 00:34:34.480 importance of 00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:36.300 having, building 00:34:36.300 --> 00:34:37.140 our lives, our 00:34:37.140 --> 00:34:37.800 homes, our 00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:40.420 houses on a 00:34:40.420 --> 00:34:41.720 solid foundation. 00:34:41.719 --> 00:34:41.779 foundation. 00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:43.759 Well, I want you 00:34:43.759 --> 00:34:44.319 to know that even 00:34:44.319 --> 00:34:45.480 more importantly, 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:48.199 your marriage, your 00:34:48.199 --> 00:34:48.599 home, your 00:34:48.599 --> 00:34:50.459 family, it needs 00:34:50.459 --> 00:34:51.159 to be built on a 00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:52.099 solid foundation. 00:34:53.219 --> 00:34:54.039 And the place to 00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:54.699 begin are with 00:34:54.699 --> 00:34:56.719 these four pillars, 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:59.859 these four supports 00:34:59.859 --> 00:35:00.379 that we looked at 00:35:00.379 --> 00:35:00.799 this morning. 00:35:02.259 --> 00:35:02.739 Severance, 00:35:03.339 --> 00:35:03.959 permanence, 00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:06.439 unity, and 00:35:06.439 --> 00:35:06.939 intimacy. 00:35:06.940 --> 00:35:09.420 Are these pillars 00:35:09.420 --> 00:35:11.139 securely in place 00:35:11.139 --> 00:35:13.820 in your marriage? 00:35:14.940 --> 00:35:16.380 If they're not, 00:35:17.500 --> 00:35:18.960 work on it with 00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:21.179 God's help starting 00:35:21.179 --> 00:35:21.900 today. 00:35:22.380 --> 00:35:23.200 Let's pray together. 00:35:23.700 --> 00:35:26.200 Father, help us to 00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:28.079 see how we need to 00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:28.940 respond as husbands 00:35:29.659 --> 00:35:31.320 and wives to this 00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:31.740 message. 00:35:32.539 --> 00:35:33.300 Help us to see 00:35:33.300 --> 00:35:34.820 clearly this is your 00:35:34.820 --> 00:35:36.920 design and it's 00:35:36.920 --> 00:35:37.920 the only design. 00:35:41.659 --> 00:35:43.200 Father, show us 00:35:43.200 --> 00:35:44.860 how things really 00:35:44.860 --> 00:35:45.300 are. 00:35:47.380 --> 00:35:48.480 Help us to talk 00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:49.500 to our spouse 00:35:49.500 --> 00:35:51.300 and make sure 00:35:51.300 --> 00:35:52.340 that we both 00:35:52.340 --> 00:35:56.059 understand 00:35:56.059 --> 00:35:57.760 and are on the 00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:58.619 same page about 00:35:58.619 --> 00:35:59.240 each one of 00:35:59.240 --> 00:35:59.599 these. 00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:03.700 Lord, so work 00:36:03.700 --> 00:36:04.420 in us that 00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:08.139 we have this 00:36:08.139 --> 00:36:10.300 strong foundation 00:36:10.300 --> 00:36:12.860 for our marriage, 00:36:12.980 --> 00:36:13.500 our home, 00:36:13.639 --> 00:36:14.340 our family. 00:36:16.480 --> 00:36:17.260 Help us to be the 00:36:17.260 --> 00:36:17.760 right kind of 00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:20.019 models for those 00:36:20.019 --> 00:36:20.659 who are looking 00:36:20.659 --> 00:36:21.700 at us. 00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:26.260 Show us how we 00:36:26.260 --> 00:36:26.960 should respond. 00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:29.220 Help us to do it, 00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:30.900 not just now, 00:36:30.900 --> 00:36:33.579 but to carry out 00:36:33.579 --> 00:36:35.300 the commitment 00:36:35.300 --> 00:36:37.940 this afternoon, 00:36:38.059 --> 00:36:38.579 this evening, 00:36:38.940 --> 00:36:39.700 this week. 00:36:42.760 --> 00:36:43.380 And then in 00:36:43.380 --> 00:36:43.940 attitude of prayer, 00:36:44.019 --> 00:36:44.700 let's just do that. 00:36:45.579 --> 00:36:46.480 I'd be happy to pray 00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:47.139 with you during this 00:36:47.139 --> 00:36:47.500 time. 00:36:47.940 --> 00:36:48.500 I'll be here at the 00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:48.840 front. 00:36:49.900 --> 00:36:50.860 But you listen to God 00:36:50.860 --> 00:36:52.380 and you make the kind 00:36:52.380 --> 00:36:52.940 of commitment that 00:36:52.940 --> 00:36:53.940 needs to be made to 00:36:53.940 --> 00:36:55.360 have a strong 00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:56.360 foundation for your 00:36:56.360 --> 00:36:56.800 marriage. 00:36:56.800 --> 00:37:00.820 we'll be here at 00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:02.700 ha. 00:37:02.780 --> 00:37:04.840 Good night. 00:37:06.900 --> 00:37:07.019 Amen.