WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.179 on the theme of emotionally healthy spirituality. 00:00:04.900 --> 00:00:06.799 We think it's important for a number of reasons. 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:12.660 It tends to be one of the most important, least talked about aspects of Christian discipleship. 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:14.780 So we're focusing on this during the season of Lent. 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:19.699 And this is partly inspired by a book written by Pete Scazzaro. 00:00:19.699 --> 00:00:24.640 So if you want to read the book as we do the series, you might get more out of it. 00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:30.100 And last week we started by looking at the example of Saul in 1 Samuel 15, 00:00:30.260 --> 00:00:34.020 a man who has, by every outward appearance, 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:42.600 he presents as a mature, capable, gifted man of God and leader of God's people. 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:46.859 And yet we learned that that was a persona and that there was a disconnect. 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:54.120 And inside, under the surface, he was emotionally and spiritually stunted. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:58.299 And there was a disconnect between the outer self and the inner self, right? 00:00:58.379 --> 00:01:03.119 This is the way that we think about the importance of emotionally healthy spirituality. 00:01:03.579 --> 00:01:08.079 A more modern example, a more current example, would be an example of someone like Ravi Zacharias, 00:01:08.340 --> 00:01:11.879 who, if you have not been following along, I don't know who that is, 00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:15.640 a world-famous Christian apologist, who up until this past year, 00:01:15.719 --> 00:01:17.719 I would have listed as among my greatest heroes. 00:01:18.280 --> 00:01:22.299 I, like many people, have been deeply shaken by the news that has come out 00:01:22.299 --> 00:01:28.159 about following his death, about a long history of sexual abuse and manipulation 00:01:28.159 --> 00:01:33.739 of a number of women, using power and influence in his ministry to cover those things up. 00:01:33.780 --> 00:01:35.700 And that's been deeply heartbreaking for me. 00:01:35.899 --> 00:01:38.739 And as a Christian leader, I look at an example like that and I say, 00:01:38.819 --> 00:01:40.560 well, how in the world does something like that happen? 00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:46.819 There's such a disconnect between the outer persona and the inner reality. 00:01:46.819 --> 00:01:52.619 One of the things that we're going to be focusing on during this series is the fact that this is not an exception 00:01:52.619 --> 00:01:59.179 that only applies to a few people, that in fact, while on the one hand, God willing, 00:01:59.239 --> 00:02:04.759 no one in here ever does anything like that, that potential for disconnect exists. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.280 And it exists in every single one of us. 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:11.340 Anyone who is a Christian, if you're a Christian long enough, 00:02:11.340 --> 00:02:15.580 you're going to experience a disconnect between your faith and your experience, 00:02:15.719 --> 00:02:19.319 your faith and your life in one way or another. 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:21.800 Now, a lot of these could be fairly minor. 00:02:22.460 --> 00:02:25.240 I've talked to people who say, you know, I consider myself a Christian. 00:02:25.379 --> 00:02:26.620 I go to church. I believe in Jesus. 00:02:26.819 --> 00:02:28.039 But I just don't feel it. 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:30.199 That's a kind of disconnect. 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:33.800 Some Christians are leaders in their churches. 00:02:33.960 --> 00:02:35.080 They're very involved in church. 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:38.060 But then you see the things that they post online. 00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:42.000 And it seems like a completely different person. 00:02:43.240 --> 00:02:44.879 And you say, well, who's the real person? 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:48.920 The person that I see on Sunday or the person who's posting this thing? 00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:55.560 Even in my own life, not too long ago, I woke up before my family. 00:02:55.960 --> 00:02:57.520 And I spent that time praying. 00:02:57.659 --> 00:02:59.300 And it was quiet and the house was peaceful. 00:02:59.659 --> 00:03:00.759 And I spent some time praying. 00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:03.140 And I just felt my heart fill up with love. 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:06.780 You know, I fill up with love for God and fill up with love for my family. 00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:09.280 And I can't wait for my kids to wake up. 00:03:09.319 --> 00:03:10.219 And I'm just so excited. 00:03:11.379 --> 00:03:13.400 And then my kids wake up, you know. 00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:15.800 And then the rush begins. 00:03:15.900 --> 00:03:17.939 And we have to get their teeth brushed. 00:03:18.020 --> 00:03:18.979 And then we have to get them dressed. 00:03:19.060 --> 00:03:20.039 And we have to get them downstairs. 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:21.900 And we have to get them all breakfast. 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:25.620 And then we have to get them all on three separate Zoom calls for school. 00:03:26.199 --> 00:03:29.259 And by 9 a.m., I'm a completely different person. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:32.039 I'm filled with anger and frustration. 00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:33.539 And I'm blowing up. 00:03:33.580 --> 00:03:34.879 And I'm losing my temper at them. 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:42.280 And so I find myself afterwards just sort of asking, who am I really? 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:47.500 Am I the man who was praying and loving God and loving his family? 00:03:47.620 --> 00:03:53.659 Or am I the ogre who just bit my kids' heads off for spilling cereal all over the floor? 00:03:54.659 --> 00:03:55.699 You know, who am I really? 00:03:57.039 --> 00:03:58.139 So that's a disconnect. 00:03:58.139 --> 00:04:06.919 And so what we're going to do this morning is we're going to talk about overcoming that disconnection between faith and lived experience. 00:04:07.119 --> 00:04:09.319 We're going to look at Ephesians 4 to help us do that. 00:04:09.739 --> 00:04:11.259 We're going to break this into two parts. 00:04:11.379 --> 00:04:12.699 How do we become disconnected? 00:04:13.239 --> 00:04:15.219 And then what can we do about it? 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:16.219 So let's pray. 00:04:16.220 --> 00:04:23.160 Lord, we thank you for your word and we thank you that it always knows what we need, even if we don't. 00:04:23.820 --> 00:04:28.360 That you send your word out and it never returns to you void and empty. 00:04:28.460 --> 00:04:31.820 It always accomplishes the purpose that you set out to accomplish. 00:04:31.819 --> 00:04:39.439 So we pray that you would send your word out into us and that it would accomplish your purposes in us. 00:04:40.040 --> 00:04:42.480 I pray that we would have a posture to sit under your word. 00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:47.399 To submit, to trust, to open ourselves to what you have to say. 00:04:47.620 --> 00:04:56.079 To listen, to receive, to recognize that sometimes it might be painful, sometimes it might be not what we would want to hear. 00:04:56.659 --> 00:04:58.199 But that we need surgery. 00:04:59.259 --> 00:05:00.740 We need help, Lord. 00:05:00.740 --> 00:05:04.139 We pray this in your son's name and for your glory. 00:05:04.340 --> 00:05:04.579 Amen. 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:12.879 So this first question, how do we become disconnected between our faith and our life, between our outer self and our inner self? 00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:16.939 Paul is actually writing to people who have a kind of disconnect of their own. 00:05:17.019 --> 00:05:19.879 He's writing to Christians in Asia Minor, in Ephesus. 00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:21.620 He's known these people. 00:05:21.740 --> 00:05:24.960 He spent, you know, two and a half, three years with them, ministering to them. 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:25.759 So he knows them personally. 00:05:25.819 --> 00:05:28.000 He knows that they're genuine followers of Jesus. 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:35.060 And yet there's this disconnect that he has become aware of between their faith and the way they're living their lives. 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:39.519 And so he starts listing some of these evidences of disconnect. 00:05:39.699 --> 00:05:41.600 He says these are not compatible with the Christian faith. 00:05:42.540 --> 00:05:45.180 And then he says this in verse 20, the passage we just read. 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:47.060 But that is not the way you learned Christ. 00:05:47.180 --> 00:05:50.240 All these things that you're doing, that's not the way you learned Christ. 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:56.280 Assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus. 00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:57.780 He's assuming that they have. 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:03.879 To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. 00:06:04.280 --> 00:06:10.480 To be renewed in the spirit of your mind and then to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God. 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:15.000 So what we realize is that Paul's actually talking about their conversion. 00:06:15.180 --> 00:06:16.879 He's talking about Christian conversion. 00:06:17.980 --> 00:06:21.220 And this shows us something very important about Christian conversion. 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:27.100 That conversion is both a completed action and it's an ongoing process. 00:06:28.540 --> 00:06:31.700 It's a completed action, once and for all, thing that happens. 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:35.259 And it's an ongoing process that lasts the rest of your life. 00:06:35.259 --> 00:06:41.180 On the one hand, when you become a Christian, that's a one-time event. 00:06:41.300 --> 00:06:45.019 Some of you can think back to the moment that you gave your life to Christ. 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.219 It's a one-time event. 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.800 As Paul said in our passage, we learn the truth of Christ. 00:06:50.439 --> 00:06:51.219 We hear the gospel. 00:06:52.439 --> 00:06:54.699 The spirit opens our hearts to the truth of the gospel. 00:06:56.199 --> 00:07:00.019 Then we put off the old self, which means we confess our sin to God. 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:02.680 We repent of all of the ways that we've tried to live apart from God. 00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:08.420 The bad that we've done, but also the good that we've done, apart from God. 00:07:09.480 --> 00:07:11.180 Then we put on the new self. 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.560 We put on the righteousness of Jesus by faith. 00:07:14.960 --> 00:07:15.660 We're baptized. 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:17.439 We're filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:07:17.560 --> 00:07:21.439 We gain a new identity as God's adopted children. 00:07:21.660 --> 00:07:23.939 All of this happens once and for all. 00:07:24.060 --> 00:07:27.300 Some of us can point to the date where all of this took place. 00:07:27.300 --> 00:07:33.520 But there's another aspect of Christian conversion that is ongoing. 00:07:33.860 --> 00:07:37.259 It's a process that lasts the rest of our lives. 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:42.800 Right between putting off the old self and putting on the new self, we see this phrase, 00:07:43.259 --> 00:07:47.040 to be renewed in the spirit of your minds. 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:53.879 And the verb tense there, unlike the other verbs, implies an ongoing daily process. 00:07:54.200 --> 00:07:59.200 This is going to happen for the rest of our lives, being renewed in the spirit of our minds. 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:02.939 What is the spirit of your mind? 00:08:04.259 --> 00:08:08.580 That's a very important question for understanding what Paul is getting at. 00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:10.720 The best way to think of it is this way. 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:12.740 Obviously, it's not just your mind. 00:08:13.320 --> 00:08:14.560 It's something more than that. 00:08:14.620 --> 00:08:16.000 It's the spirit of your mind. 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:26.120 And the best way to understand this is that it is the intersection between the rational part and the emotional part of you. 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:32.360 It's where your thinking self and your feeling self come together. 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:39.240 Psychologists actually say that the brain has two independent systems that work together. 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:41.080 They're independent, but they cooperate. 00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:46.520 There's the rational analytical system and the emotional intuitive system. 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:53.340 The conscious thinking self and then the subconscious, unconscious, preconscious feeling self. 00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:59.460 Now, in the West, we have tended to think that the rational system is dominant. 00:09:00.560 --> 00:09:09.920 Up until recently, not so much today, but up until recently, we have tended to be fairly certain that we are primarily rational beings. 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:10.220 Right? 00:09:10.300 --> 00:09:11.700 I think, therefore I am. 00:09:11.780 --> 00:09:14.780 This is the core definition of human existence. 00:09:15.019 --> 00:09:15.220 Right? 00:09:15.220 --> 00:09:17.899 But it's more complicated than that. 00:09:17.960 --> 00:09:21.580 It turns out it's a little more complicated. 00:09:22.500 --> 00:09:26.620 A psychologist named Jonathan Haidt has a good illustration of this. 00:09:27.379 --> 00:09:31.940 He says, imagine a rider sitting on top of an elephant. 00:09:33.220 --> 00:09:35.259 A rider sitting on top of an elephant. 00:09:35.980 --> 00:09:38.460 The rider is the rational system. 00:09:38.600 --> 00:09:39.820 It's the rational part of you. 00:09:39.820 --> 00:09:42.760 The elephant is our emotional system. 00:09:44.140 --> 00:09:46.540 Now, the rider is holding the reins. 00:09:46.860 --> 00:09:50.640 And it looks as though the rider is the one in control. 00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:54.680 But the elephant is, in fact, far stronger. 00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:57.160 Elephants weigh something like six tons. 00:09:58.740 --> 00:10:02.960 So the rider's control is very precarious. 00:10:03.160 --> 00:10:08.640 And the rider's job is to try to coax the elephant to go where he wants the elephant to go. 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:15.139 But any time the rider and the elephant disagree, the elephant's going to win every single time. 00:10:15.819 --> 00:10:20.059 He says, this is how we need to think about the rational system and the emotional system. 00:10:20.360 --> 00:10:24.860 And this is a modern way of describing it, drawing on modern psychological concepts. 00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:30.379 But these psychologists are simply tapping in to something that Christians have known for centuries. 00:10:31.019 --> 00:10:37.519 They're tapping into something that Christians have known for centuries. 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:47.299 And this is a tradition that goes from St. Paul to St. Augustine to Philip Melanchthon, the 16th century reformer. 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:51.120 All of them basically agree, in the words of Melanchthon, 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:56.360 what the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. 00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:01.759 What the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:05.659 In other words, we like to think that our rational self is calling the shots. 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:09.220 But it's in fact the opposite. 00:11:09.539 --> 00:11:12.840 Our emotions and desires are far more powerful. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:15.059 Far more powerful. 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:17.700 So now let's come back to our first question. 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:20.720 How does our faith become disconnected? 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:25.100 How do we develop a disconnect between what we believe and then our lived experience? 00:11:25.100 --> 00:11:30.759 Well, most often it is because the rider and the elephant are going in two different directions. 00:11:31.680 --> 00:11:32.820 That's the disconnect. 00:11:33.500 --> 00:11:35.700 The rider is committed to following Jesus. 00:11:36.800 --> 00:11:41.840 But the elephant has taken off and it's chasing something else entirely. 00:11:42.340 --> 00:11:43.700 Feels like you're being pulled apart. 00:11:44.759 --> 00:11:49.860 So think of the person, think of the example of a person who is a faithful, committed Christian. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:50.639 They're single. 00:11:50.940 --> 00:11:52.879 They've been involved in church for years. 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:54.519 They volunteer. 00:11:54.779 --> 00:11:55.659 They have lots of friends. 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:57.399 Years and years and years in the church. 00:11:57.919 --> 00:12:00.299 Really want to be married, hoping that happens one day. 00:12:00.460 --> 00:12:03.980 And then a halfway decent prospect comes along. 00:12:04.439 --> 00:12:12.299 And seemingly overnight they move in together despite concerns and objections voiced by their friends and their family. 00:12:12.600 --> 00:12:19.860 And the next thing you know, this person who has been faithfully a part of the church for years is deconstructing their entire faith. 00:12:19.860 --> 00:12:23.740 And you say, well, how in the world does this kind of thing happen? 00:12:25.259 --> 00:12:27.440 Well, the rider is very committed to Jesus. 00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:29.480 The rational self is very committed to Jesus. 00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:33.180 But the elephant is chasing this relationship. 00:12:34.139 --> 00:12:35.320 And there's a disconnect. 00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:41.200 And the rider in such a situation has almost no power to stop the elephant. 00:12:41.660 --> 00:12:42.420 Not strong enough. 00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:49.120 All the rider can do, to go back to Philip Melanchthon's word, right, what the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies, 00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:53.860 all the rider can do at that point is to try to justify this new life direction. 00:12:53.860 --> 00:13:02.800 So the easiest way to do that is to find whatever beliefs are standing in the way of this direction and to begin to deconstruct them. 00:13:05.320 --> 00:13:09.560 So we see examples like this all the time in the life of the church. 00:13:09.680 --> 00:13:15.220 This helps us understand how the church could be complicit in things like slavery or Jim Crow. 00:13:15.340 --> 00:13:18.200 You look at that and you say, well, how could those, how could Christians have done that? 00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:23.340 Well, it's because the rider, the rational self, was committed to the Christian faith. 00:13:24.660 --> 00:13:31.220 But the elephant self was chasing the culture and the values and the norms of the day. 00:13:31.400 --> 00:13:35.900 And at that point in history, these were all culturally condoned and supported. 00:13:36.800 --> 00:13:44.180 This helps us understand how some Christians on the left could just freely redefine how we think about sexuality and gender. 00:13:44.179 --> 00:13:49.479 or Christians on the right could storm the U.S. Capitol and wave a Christian flag on the Senate floor. 00:13:49.979 --> 00:14:00.279 In both cases, the elephant may be going in opposite directions, but the elephant is chasing politics and cultural norms instead of Christ. 00:14:01.799 --> 00:14:01.939 Right? 00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:10.159 So we could go on and on and on and list examples of the elephant and the rider heading in two different directions. 00:14:10.859 --> 00:14:12.120 And the elephant's going to win. 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.379 So the point here for us is this. 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:23.539 If we think that our Christian faith is merely a one-time event, a conversion experience that happened sometime in the past, 00:14:23.700 --> 00:14:27.120 and we neglect the daily life of discipleship and renewal, 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:29.919 then it's only a matter of time before there's a disconnect. 00:14:31.060 --> 00:14:32.440 It's only a matter of time. 00:14:33.060 --> 00:14:37.899 And what often happens, unfortunately, is that when that disconnect begins to happen, 00:14:37.899 --> 00:14:42.860 instead of trying to pull the elephant back and get the elephant moving in the right direction, 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:45.179 the person just begins to develop a persona. 00:14:46.319 --> 00:14:50.919 They learn how to act like a Christian, talk like a Christian, present as a Christian. 00:14:51.459 --> 00:14:53.899 But the elephant is over here completely disconnected. 00:14:54.059 --> 00:14:57.340 And sometimes people can go for years and years and years and years and years, 00:14:57.500 --> 00:15:02.019 and the elephant and rider are in two completely separate places. 00:15:02.019 --> 00:15:04.340 So what can we do about it? 00:15:06.340 --> 00:15:10.480 Well, our postmodern culture says ignore the rider. 00:15:11.819 --> 00:15:12.579 Ignore the rider. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:15.439 Let the elephant decide. 00:15:16.100 --> 00:15:18.159 The elephant is the true you. 00:15:19.159 --> 00:15:20.759 So let the elephant be in charge. 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:21.819 Follow your heart. 00:15:22.079 --> 00:15:23.059 You are your feelings. 00:15:23.059 --> 00:15:27.679 Christians, in an attempt to challenge this, 00:15:28.019 --> 00:15:30.500 I think sometimes it's right to challenge this. 00:15:30.579 --> 00:15:35.179 No, virtually no society in history around the world has ever thought that until us. 00:15:36.059 --> 00:15:38.759 So Christians are right to challenge this, 00:15:38.819 --> 00:15:42.459 but I think sometimes Christians can overcorrect in the other direction 00:15:42.459 --> 00:15:45.939 and then downplay the importance of emotions. 00:15:46.199 --> 00:15:48.619 So people will often quote Jeremiah 17.9, 00:15:48.919 --> 00:15:50.879 the heart is deceitful above all things. 00:15:50.939 --> 00:15:52.739 And they say, therefore, don't even listen to your emotions. 00:15:53.819 --> 00:15:55.919 So what we can say as Christians is, yes, 00:15:56.119 --> 00:15:59.059 feelings are not a source of authoritative truth. 00:15:59.179 --> 00:16:02.259 Feelings can very often be deceptive and lead you astray, 00:16:02.439 --> 00:16:05.699 but that doesn't mean that we should ignore them all together, 00:16:06.219 --> 00:16:07.799 which is a mistake that a lot of us make. 00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:13.959 What we really need is a way to bring the rider and the elephant together. 00:16:13.959 --> 00:16:18.879 We need renewal not just for our mind, but for the spirit of our mind, 00:16:18.979 --> 00:16:22.659 for our thoughts and our desires and affections. 00:16:23.059 --> 00:16:26.979 So let me give you three ways of doing that with the time that we have left. 00:16:27.199 --> 00:16:31.439 Three ways that we can begin to take steps toward alignment 00:16:31.439 --> 00:16:33.659 and overcome the disconnect. 00:16:33.659 --> 00:16:36.339 The first thing is this. 00:16:36.339 --> 00:16:43.319 We need to be able to identify what the elephant inside us is chasing. 00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:47.019 What is your elephant chasing? 00:16:47.019 --> 00:16:51.019 As the hymn says, we're going to sing it in a little while, 00:16:51.539 --> 00:16:54.039 our hearts are prone to wander, right? 00:16:54.600 --> 00:16:56.340 Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. 00:16:57.319 --> 00:16:59.799 The elephant in you is prone to wander. 00:16:59.939 --> 00:17:03.379 It's always being coaxed in one direction or another. 00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:04.720 To use Paul's phrase, 00:17:05.299 --> 00:17:09.539 there are deceitful desires in us 00:17:09.539 --> 00:17:12.000 that are drawing us away from Christ. 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:14.779 So ask yourself, what is that in me? 00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:16.559 Is it a desire to prove your worth? 00:17:17.299 --> 00:17:19.099 Is it a desire to gain affirmation? 00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:20.680 Is it a desire to be respected? 00:17:21.259 --> 00:17:24.460 Is it a desire for comfort or status or escape? 00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:28.319 What are the influences shaping your heart? 00:17:28.460 --> 00:17:31.059 You know, social media companies exist 00:17:31.059 --> 00:17:33.680 to capture as many elephants as possible. 00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:38.220 I mean, to use Height's image of the rider and the elephant, 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:40.480 social media companies make money 00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:42.400 off their ability to be elephant poachers. 00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:45.759 They want to illegally come into your territory 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:47.279 and capture your elephant. 00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:50.840 And I know that might be a funny-sounding way to talk about it, 00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:52.440 but that's exactly what they're doing. 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:53.920 And guess what? 00:17:54.080 --> 00:17:56.140 Elephants love dopamine. 00:17:57.920 --> 00:17:58.380 Right? 00:17:58.380 --> 00:18:01.020 Regular diet of dopamine hits 00:18:01.020 --> 00:18:03.860 is the best way to lure your elephant away. 00:18:04.360 --> 00:18:05.380 As it turns out, 00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:07.100 the spirit of your mind 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:10.120 is the most valuable real estate on the planet. 00:18:11.040 --> 00:18:12.840 Everybody wants to live there. 00:18:13.120 --> 00:18:15.080 Everybody wants to claim that territory. 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:18.480 There are legions of servers and programmers 00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:21.120 and algorithms that exist exclusively 00:18:21.120 --> 00:18:23.380 to claim the spirit of your mind. 00:18:23.460 --> 00:18:25.000 It's the most valuable resource on the planet. 00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:25.400 Why? 00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:27.500 Because it's meant to be God's zip code. 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:30.540 He's meant to live there. 00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:33.500 Everybody else wants to usurp it. 00:18:35.140 --> 00:18:35.560 Right? 00:18:35.620 --> 00:18:36.480 So the first thing we have to do 00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:37.080 is to figure out 00:18:37.080 --> 00:18:38.720 what is the elephant in me chasing? 00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:39.920 It's chasing something. 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:40.960 I guarantee you. 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:42.380 If it's not, 00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:43.460 Jesus is something else. 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.040 Number two, 00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:46.100 this is where some of us 00:18:46.100 --> 00:18:46.840 might get a little nervous. 00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:48.540 We need to be willing to listen 00:18:48.540 --> 00:18:49.400 to both God 00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:51.620 and our emotions. 00:18:53.360 --> 00:18:55.240 In the opening of his Institutes, 00:18:55.240 --> 00:18:56.300 John Calvin says, 00:18:56.299 --> 00:18:58.740 nearly all wisdom which we possess 00:18:58.740 --> 00:19:00.639 consists of two parts. 00:19:01.399 --> 00:19:02.399 The knowledge of God 00:19:02.399 --> 00:19:04.220 and the knowledge of ourselves. 00:19:05.659 --> 00:19:07.440 And I think part of our faith 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:08.859 means listening to God 00:19:08.859 --> 00:19:09.639 through prayer, 00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:11.000 through his word. 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:12.960 But it's also very important 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:16.180 that we listen to our own emotional world. 00:19:16.859 --> 00:19:17.519 As we said, 00:19:17.579 --> 00:19:19.319 it's not a source of authoritative truth, 00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:21.779 but we need to have a knowledge of ourselves 00:19:21.779 --> 00:19:23.819 so that we can bring that 00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:25.180 into the knowledge of God. 00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:26.379 We need to bring the two together. 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:28.899 Now some of you might hear this 00:19:28.899 --> 00:19:29.180 and you say, 00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:29.759 well, you know, 00:19:29.859 --> 00:19:30.139 I just, 00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:31.680 what am I listening for? 00:19:31.720 --> 00:19:32.799 I'm just not that emotional. 00:19:33.940 --> 00:19:34.660 And some people just say, 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:36.379 well, I'm just not a very emotional person. 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:37.319 Some people are really emotional. 00:19:37.379 --> 00:19:37.940 I'm not emotional. 00:19:38.940 --> 00:19:40.720 The fact is that God made you 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:41.799 to have as many emotions 00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:42.680 as anybody else. 00:19:42.680 --> 00:19:44.139 And if you're not an emotional person, 00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:44.819 what it means is 00:19:44.819 --> 00:19:45.639 that you're not listening. 00:19:46.180 --> 00:19:47.339 You're not used to listening. 00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:48.919 I'm that kind of person. 00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:50.139 I can go days 00:19:50.139 --> 00:19:51.599 and just have no idea 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:52.539 what I'm actually feeling. 00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:56.480 I'd just be completely out of touch 00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:57.619 with what's going on inside. 00:19:59.259 --> 00:19:59.399 Right? 00:19:59.539 --> 00:20:01.679 So it turns out 00:20:01.679 --> 00:20:04.839 that tuning into your feelings 00:20:04.839 --> 00:20:06.699 and then being able to put language 00:20:06.699 --> 00:20:07.619 to those feelings 00:20:07.619 --> 00:20:09.019 to be able to actually name them, 00:20:09.019 --> 00:20:10.799 that that's extraordinarily difficult 00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.539 for most of us. 00:20:12.119 --> 00:20:13.039 And it actually is something 00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.159 that you have to practice. 00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:15.099 When I used to be a therapist, 00:20:15.379 --> 00:20:15.799 one of the things 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:16.279 that I have to do 00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:17.119 with people pretty regularly 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:18.879 is show them a feeling wheel. 00:20:19.099 --> 00:20:19.659 It's a tool. 00:20:19.899 --> 00:20:20.679 We'll talk about it 00:20:20.679 --> 00:20:21.639 at our Soul Care Sunday, 00:20:21.739 --> 00:20:22.739 which is coming up at Advent. 00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:23.359 We're going to talk about 00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:24.019 some of the tools, 00:20:24.399 --> 00:20:25.099 practical tools 00:20:25.099 --> 00:20:26.559 that are helpful in this regard. 00:20:26.619 --> 00:20:27.819 But it was a wheel 00:20:27.819 --> 00:20:29.899 that lists all kinds 00:20:29.899 --> 00:20:30.759 of emotions and feelings. 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:31.399 And I would literally 00:20:31.399 --> 00:20:32.599 have to give this to people, 00:20:32.679 --> 00:20:34.439 people in their 40s, 50s, 60s. 00:20:34.759 --> 00:20:36.219 And they would have to identify, 00:20:36.500 --> 00:20:37.579 okay, that's what I'm feeling. 00:20:39.099 --> 00:20:39.319 Right? 00:20:39.500 --> 00:20:40.359 It's really helpful. 00:20:40.459 --> 00:20:41.379 But it takes practice. 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:42.500 But we have to be willing 00:20:42.500 --> 00:20:43.239 to listen to God 00:20:43.239 --> 00:20:44.000 and our feelings. 00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:45.219 And then the third thing 00:20:45.219 --> 00:20:46.519 flows right out of the second. 00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:48.939 You have to preach 00:20:48.939 --> 00:20:50.000 the gospel to the elephant. 00:20:51.639 --> 00:20:52.939 You have to preach the... 00:20:52.939 --> 00:20:54.279 The elephant requires 00:20:54.279 --> 00:20:55.839 constant evangelism. 00:20:57.439 --> 00:20:57.539 Right? 00:20:57.639 --> 00:20:59.519 Martin Luther famously said, 00:20:59.619 --> 00:21:00.819 the reformer Martin Luther 00:21:00.819 --> 00:21:01.659 famously said, 00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:02.599 that we need to preach 00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:03.639 the gospel to ourselves 00:21:03.639 --> 00:21:04.539 every single day. 00:21:04.779 --> 00:21:06.219 Now, Luther was a smart guy. 00:21:06.299 --> 00:21:07.299 He was a smart theologian. 00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:09.219 He had a rational understanding 00:21:09.219 --> 00:21:09.699 of the gospel. 00:21:09.819 --> 00:21:10.599 That's not what he meant. 00:21:10.639 --> 00:21:11.439 He didn't mean every night 00:21:11.439 --> 00:21:11.979 he goes to bed 00:21:11.979 --> 00:21:12.479 and he wakes up 00:21:12.479 --> 00:21:13.699 and he's forgotten intellectually 00:21:13.699 --> 00:21:14.579 what the gospel is. 00:21:14.579 --> 00:21:15.619 What he's talking about 00:21:15.619 --> 00:21:16.259 is the fact he says, 00:21:16.359 --> 00:21:17.139 there's a part of me 00:21:17.139 --> 00:21:18.240 that gets it intellectually. 00:21:18.460 --> 00:21:19.779 I can write books about it. 00:21:20.139 --> 00:21:21.879 But there's this other part of me 00:21:21.879 --> 00:21:22.799 that needs to hear it 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:23.619 every single day. 00:21:23.819 --> 00:21:24.899 I think he was talking 00:21:24.899 --> 00:21:25.519 about the elephant. 00:21:26.679 --> 00:21:27.559 I think that's what 00:21:27.559 --> 00:21:28.220 he was getting at. 00:21:29.179 --> 00:21:30.079 So let's go back 00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:30.679 to the example 00:21:30.679 --> 00:21:31.240 that I shared 00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:32.339 from my own life 00:21:32.339 --> 00:21:33.779 of waking up, 00:21:33.859 --> 00:21:34.399 feeling great, 00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:34.799 praying, 00:21:34.919 --> 00:21:35.599 loving my kids, 00:21:35.679 --> 00:21:38.139 and then 30 minutes later 00:21:38.139 --> 00:21:38.919 blowing up at them 00:21:38.919 --> 00:21:39.859 and buying their heads off. 00:21:40.059 --> 00:21:40.159 Right? 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:41.340 So normally 00:21:41.340 --> 00:21:42.380 I would be tempted 00:21:42.380 --> 00:21:43.519 to minimize that 00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:43.960 and to say, 00:21:44.040 --> 00:21:44.620 ugh, you know, 00:21:44.700 --> 00:21:45.040 kids, 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:46.400 and move on with my day. 00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:50.320 Maybe I would offer 00:21:50.320 --> 00:21:51.380 some cursory prayer, 00:21:51.500 --> 00:21:52.740 God help me with my anger. 00:21:53.800 --> 00:21:55.120 God help take away my anger. 00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:55.920 And I think God 00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:56.880 can do that kind of thing. 00:21:58.759 --> 00:21:59.380 But normally 00:21:59.380 --> 00:22:00.140 that's how I'd respond. 00:22:00.220 --> 00:22:00.440 But you know, 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:01.519 my wife kind of said to me, 00:22:01.580 --> 00:22:02.759 hey, what's going on with you? 00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:05.039 And I decided, 00:22:05.240 --> 00:22:05.900 out of character, 00:22:06.099 --> 00:22:07.180 to take some time 00:22:07.180 --> 00:22:10.079 to spend time 00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:11.220 thinking and praying 00:22:11.220 --> 00:22:11.920 about what happened. 00:22:11.980 --> 00:22:12.619 And I wanted to try 00:22:12.619 --> 00:22:13.500 to listen to God. 00:22:13.779 --> 00:22:14.180 I wanted to try 00:22:14.180 --> 00:22:15.099 to listen to my emotions. 00:22:15.220 --> 00:22:15.599 I wanted to try 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:16.019 to figure out 00:22:16.019 --> 00:22:16.799 what was going on. 00:22:17.379 --> 00:22:17.940 And by the way, 00:22:17.980 --> 00:22:18.819 whenever you do things 00:22:18.819 --> 00:22:19.680 that are out of character, 00:22:19.779 --> 00:22:20.220 whenever you kind of 00:22:20.220 --> 00:22:20.559 do something, 00:22:20.619 --> 00:22:21.339 you kind of blow up 00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:22.059 or react in a way 00:22:22.059 --> 00:22:22.799 that's unexpected, 00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:23.740 and you're like, 00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:24.559 why did I just do that? 00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:25.519 Why did I just say that? 00:22:25.799 --> 00:22:26.539 It's normally because 00:22:26.539 --> 00:22:27.519 the elephant is in charge. 00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:28.920 And you've got to take time 00:22:28.920 --> 00:22:29.359 to figure out 00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:30.339 what's the elephant doing. 00:22:31.259 --> 00:22:32.480 So I realized 00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:33.459 in that time that I took, 00:22:33.539 --> 00:22:33.980 I realized that 00:22:33.980 --> 00:22:34.919 some of that anger 00:22:34.919 --> 00:22:36.139 that I directed at my kids 00:22:36.139 --> 00:22:37.379 actually had nothing 00:22:37.379 --> 00:22:39.039 to do with my kids. 00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:40.159 This is anger 00:22:40.159 --> 00:22:40.980 that had been churning 00:22:40.980 --> 00:22:42.039 inside me 00:22:42.039 --> 00:22:43.519 for almost two weeks. 00:22:44.579 --> 00:22:45.519 So I traced that back 00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:45.720 and said, 00:22:45.819 --> 00:22:46.759 well, why has this 00:22:46.759 --> 00:22:47.399 been in me for two weeks? 00:22:47.439 --> 00:22:48.139 And then I remember 00:22:48.139 --> 00:22:49.259 I had a particularly 00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:50.459 challenging interaction 00:22:50.459 --> 00:22:51.039 with someone 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:52.659 and it had bothered me 00:22:52.659 --> 00:22:53.419 more than usual. 00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:54.639 It just kind of stuck with me 00:22:54.639 --> 00:22:55.919 in the back of my mind. 00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:58.139 And so then I asked, 00:22:58.419 --> 00:23:00.199 what's going on 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:00.400 with that? 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:01.120 And I remember back 00:23:01.120 --> 00:23:01.660 when that happened, 00:23:01.740 --> 00:23:02.700 I did what I normally do. 00:23:02.740 --> 00:23:03.680 I just kind of brushed it off, 00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:04.519 ignored the feelings. 00:23:06.180 --> 00:23:07.180 I didn't just brush 00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:07.779 the feelings off. 00:23:07.819 --> 00:23:08.380 You can't do that 00:23:08.380 --> 00:23:08.700 with feelings. 00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:09.920 I stuffed the feelings down. 00:23:10.120 --> 00:23:10.840 The only thing you can do 00:23:10.840 --> 00:23:11.200 with feelings 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:11.900 is stuff them down. 00:23:13.340 --> 00:23:14.059 But the problem 00:23:14.059 --> 00:23:14.480 with feelings 00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:15.460 is they don't go away. 00:23:15.580 --> 00:23:16.559 So you stuff them 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:17.500 and then they're just there. 00:23:18.759 --> 00:23:18.940 Right? 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:19.600 It's like the closet 00:23:19.600 --> 00:23:20.120 in your house 00:23:20.120 --> 00:23:20.980 where you put all your junk 00:23:20.980 --> 00:23:21.779 and you stuff more 00:23:21.779 --> 00:23:22.340 and you stuff more 00:23:22.340 --> 00:23:22.779 and you stuff more 00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:24.200 and finally the day comes 00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:25.120 where the door, 00:23:25.220 --> 00:23:25.880 all you do is touch 00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:26.360 the door knob 00:23:26.360 --> 00:23:27.319 and it just blasts open 00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:28.279 and everything falls out. 00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:28.639 Right? 00:23:28.779 --> 00:23:30.220 Feelings will come back 00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:31.399 one way or another. 00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:32.160 They don't go away. 00:23:32.839 --> 00:23:33.599 Mine came out 00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.319 two weeks later 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:35.079 aimed at my kids. 00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:37.799 Right? 00:23:37.859 --> 00:23:38.940 So once I realized this, 00:23:39.019 --> 00:23:39.779 then I spent time 00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:40.379 asking God 00:23:40.379 --> 00:23:41.319 to help me understand 00:23:41.319 --> 00:23:42.700 why did this particular 00:23:42.700 --> 00:23:44.079 interaction affect me 00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:45.160 so much 00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:46.019 the way it did? 00:23:46.379 --> 00:23:47.759 And then I realized 00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:48.500 that it had actually 00:23:48.500 --> 00:23:49.859 triggered insecurities 00:23:49.859 --> 00:23:50.759 around my competence. 00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:53.940 I had left that conversation 00:23:53.940 --> 00:23:55.259 feeling incompetent. 00:23:57.420 --> 00:23:58.299 And I realized 00:23:58.299 --> 00:23:59.059 that that was triggering 00:23:59.059 --> 00:24:00.339 something deep inside me, 00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:01.379 a fear that I've carried 00:24:01.379 --> 00:24:02.099 since childhood, 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:03.379 a fear that if I don't 00:24:03.379 --> 00:24:04.299 appear to be competent 00:24:04.299 --> 00:24:04.940 and have it together, 00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:05.799 I'm going to be rejected. 00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:08.680 And then I hit bedrock. 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:09.759 Right? 00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:10.460 That's bedrock. 00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:10.879 In other words, 00:24:10.940 --> 00:24:11.920 that's a core belief. 00:24:12.900 --> 00:24:13.920 And I kind of realized 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:15.200 in reflection and prayer, 00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:17.119 I have this core belief in me. 00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:18.379 If I'm not competent, 00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:18.980 then I'm worthless. 00:24:19.860 --> 00:24:20.799 If I'm not competent, 00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:21.380 people are not going 00:24:21.380 --> 00:24:21.819 to like me. 00:24:22.120 --> 00:24:22.920 If I'm not competent, 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:23.680 I'm going to be rejected. 00:24:26.120 --> 00:24:27.360 That is the opportunity 00:24:27.360 --> 00:24:28.299 to preach the gospel 00:24:28.299 --> 00:24:28.839 to the elephant. 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.200 A cursory reminder, 00:24:32.440 --> 00:24:33.279 oh, it's okay, 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:33.759 you know, 00:24:33.940 --> 00:24:34.900 cursory prayer, 00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:35.539 that's not going to do it. 00:24:35.539 --> 00:24:36.079 The elephant's not 00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:36.539 paying attention. 00:24:36.779 --> 00:24:37.339 You have to get 00:24:37.339 --> 00:24:38.099 the elephant's attention. 00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:39.180 And at that point, 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:39.819 after that time 00:24:39.819 --> 00:24:40.180 and reflection, 00:24:40.599 --> 00:24:41.759 the elephant part of me 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:42.799 was paying attention. 00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:45.120 This is what I really 00:24:45.120 --> 00:24:45.579 care about. 00:24:45.579 --> 00:24:46.440 I want to be competent 00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:47.400 so that I won't be worthless. 00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:49.340 And so that was 00:24:49.340 --> 00:24:50.500 an opportunity to preach. 00:24:51.320 --> 00:24:51.980 And I was able 00:24:51.980 --> 00:24:53.060 to remind myself 00:24:53.060 --> 00:24:54.600 that God's love 00:24:54.600 --> 00:24:55.580 and delight in me 00:24:55.580 --> 00:24:56.600 has nothing to do 00:24:56.600 --> 00:24:57.360 with my competence. 00:24:58.940 --> 00:25:00.040 That because I have 00:25:00.040 --> 00:25:01.200 God's love and acceptance, 00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:03.160 it's okay for me to fail. 00:25:03.280 --> 00:25:04.240 It's okay for me 00:25:04.240 --> 00:25:05.080 to be incompetent. 00:25:06.120 --> 00:25:07.140 And more than that, 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:08.100 because I have God's love 00:25:08.100 --> 00:25:08.480 and acceptance, 00:25:08.600 --> 00:25:09.220 it's okay for me 00:25:09.220 --> 00:25:10.060 to disappoint people. 00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:11.880 And in fact, 00:25:12.280 --> 00:25:13.680 if I want to be faithful 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:14.720 to God in my life, 00:25:14.900 --> 00:25:15.400 there's going to be 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:16.640 many times where I actually 00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:17.860 have to disappoint people. 00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:18.380 It's going to happen 00:25:18.380 --> 00:25:18.980 all the time. 00:25:20.180 --> 00:25:21.360 And I realize I know that 00:25:21.360 --> 00:25:22.400 because Jesus himself 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:23.420 disappointed people 00:25:23.420 --> 00:25:24.720 all the time. 00:25:25.620 --> 00:25:26.600 Because he lived 00:25:26.600 --> 00:25:27.300 in the security 00:25:27.300 --> 00:25:28.400 of his father's approval 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:29.320 rather than chasing 00:25:29.320 --> 00:25:29.920 the approval 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:31.080 of the crowds. 00:25:31.840 --> 00:25:32.220 And you know, 00:25:32.280 --> 00:25:33.100 I get done with 00:25:33.100 --> 00:25:34.200 this little sermonette 00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:35.220 aimed at my elephant 00:25:35.220 --> 00:25:36.840 and I actually felt better. 00:25:37.980 --> 00:25:39.340 I actually felt better. 00:25:39.340 --> 00:25:41.840 I felt like the gospel 00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:43.400 had done something in me. 00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:45.280 Because the elephant 00:25:45.280 --> 00:25:46.060 and the rider 00:25:46.060 --> 00:25:46.880 at that moment 00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:48.000 were aligned 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:48.840 toward the gospel. 00:25:48.980 --> 00:25:49.620 They were both 00:25:49.620 --> 00:25:50.460 aiming at Jesus. 00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:52.019 And I thought, 00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:53.580 I just took a step. 00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:55.640 Right? 00:25:55.700 --> 00:25:56.340 So the point is, 00:25:56.440 --> 00:25:57.600 if I had simply 00:25:57.600 --> 00:25:59.840 minimized those feelings 00:25:59.840 --> 00:26:00.840 and moved on, 00:26:01.600 --> 00:26:02.860 which I normally 00:26:02.860 --> 00:26:03.360 would have done, 00:26:03.820 --> 00:26:04.880 I would have missed 00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:05.540 an opportunity 00:26:05.540 --> 00:26:06.220 for the gospel 00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:07.880 to actually bring renewal 00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:08.940 to the spirit 00:26:08.940 --> 00:26:09.560 of my mind. 00:26:09.800 --> 00:26:10.460 Not just 00:26:10.460 --> 00:26:12.000 the rational self, 00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:13.220 but to the emotional 00:26:13.220 --> 00:26:13.920 side of me. 00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:16.940 It took several days 00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:17.819 for me to get there, 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:19.559 to excavate down 00:26:19.559 --> 00:26:20.640 to the core belief. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:22.200 It took several days, 00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:24.200 a little time here, 00:26:24.259 --> 00:26:24.920 a little time there, 00:26:25.019 --> 00:26:26.099 for me to really figure out 00:26:26.099 --> 00:26:26.980 what was going on. 00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:29.859 It requires you 00:26:29.859 --> 00:26:30.920 to set aside time 00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:31.839 to do this. 00:26:33.099 --> 00:26:33.960 So the last thing 00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:34.440 I want to do 00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:35.740 before we close 00:26:35.740 --> 00:26:36.660 is to share with you 00:26:36.660 --> 00:26:37.779 the tool that I most 00:26:37.779 --> 00:26:38.660 often use, 00:26:38.759 --> 00:26:39.259 that I used 00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:40.619 in this particular example, 00:26:41.259 --> 00:26:42.640 to do what we're 00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:43.480 talking about doing. 00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:43.900 It's called 00:26:43.900 --> 00:26:44.799 the Daily Exam, 00:26:44.879 --> 00:26:45.619 and it was used 00:26:45.619 --> 00:26:46.619 by St. Ignatius. 00:26:47.379 --> 00:26:48.240 I would recommend, 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:49.000 if you've never done 00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:49.759 anything like this, 00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:50.359 if you're looking 00:26:50.359 --> 00:26:51.799 for a Lenten discipline, 00:26:52.379 --> 00:26:54.440 this is your go-to. 00:26:55.220 --> 00:26:56.059 I would recommend 00:26:56.059 --> 00:26:58.079 doing it once a day, 00:26:58.259 --> 00:26:59.579 right before you go to bed, 00:26:59.619 --> 00:27:00.359 and if you can do it 00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:00.799 with a journal, 00:27:00.900 --> 00:27:01.519 that's even better. 00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:04.079 But it's really five steps. 00:27:05.099 --> 00:27:05.859 You can do this 00:27:05.859 --> 00:27:06.440 in 20 minutes. 00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:06.879 It doesn't have 00:27:06.879 --> 00:27:07.500 to take that long. 00:27:07.500 --> 00:27:08.960 The first thing 00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:09.839 that you would do 00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:10.759 is just to take a moment 00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:11.359 to acknowledge 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:12.099 God's presence 00:27:12.099 --> 00:27:12.660 as a Christian 00:27:12.660 --> 00:27:13.259 to recognize 00:27:13.259 --> 00:27:14.240 that God is there 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:14.779 with you 00:27:14.779 --> 00:27:16.099 to open yourself 00:27:16.099 --> 00:27:16.700 to the leading 00:27:16.700 --> 00:27:17.519 of the Holy Spirit. 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:19.640 So take a moment 00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:20.140 to do that. 00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:22.920 And then after you do that, 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:24.380 just mentally review 00:27:24.380 --> 00:27:25.180 your day. 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:26.400 From the time you woke up 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:26.980 to the moment 00:27:26.980 --> 00:27:28.019 that you sit there praying, 00:27:28.420 --> 00:27:29.380 just think through 00:27:29.380 --> 00:27:30.400 the events of your day. 00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:31.380 Think through the feelings 00:27:31.380 --> 00:27:31.920 of your day. 00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:32.759 Think through the 00:27:32.759 --> 00:27:34.460 significant events 00:27:34.460 --> 00:27:35.059 of the day. 00:27:35.059 --> 00:27:36.819 and do it 00:27:36.819 --> 00:27:37.279 with a posture 00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:37.879 of gratitude, 00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:39.960 recognizing this day 00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:40.480 is a gift. 00:27:41.019 --> 00:27:41.819 The fact that I woke up 00:27:41.819 --> 00:27:42.559 with air in my lungs 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:43.039 is a gift. 00:27:44.339 --> 00:27:45.299 Then the third step 00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:47.039 is where we get into 00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:47.799 what we've been talking 00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:48.519 about this morning. 00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:49.539 You take time 00:27:49.539 --> 00:27:50.799 to listen to your emotions. 00:27:52.919 --> 00:27:53.839 And there's sort of 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:54.419 two things 00:27:54.419 --> 00:27:55.200 you're listening for. 00:27:56.879 --> 00:27:58.819 Wherever you feel 00:27:58.819 --> 00:27:59.519 as you look over 00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:00.359 the course of your day, 00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:01.419 wherever you feel 00:28:01.419 --> 00:28:02.679 the growth of things 00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:03.560 like love 00:28:03.560 --> 00:28:04.740 or faith 00:28:04.740 --> 00:28:05.920 or mercy 00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:06.920 or hope 00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:08.180 or patience 00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:09.320 or kindness, 00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:11.380 the fruits of the Spirit, 00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:13.779 these are areas 00:28:13.779 --> 00:28:15.060 of consolation 00:28:15.060 --> 00:28:16.440 to use the Ignatian term. 00:28:16.519 --> 00:28:16.860 In other words, 00:28:16.940 --> 00:28:17.779 these are areas 00:28:17.779 --> 00:28:18.980 where you are moving 00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:19.799 toward Christ, 00:28:20.940 --> 00:28:21.660 where the elephant 00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:22.799 is moving toward Christ. 00:28:23.820 --> 00:28:25.460 Wherever in yourself 00:28:25.460 --> 00:28:27.340 you sense ingratitude, 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:29.060 self-absorption, 00:28:29.360 --> 00:28:29.840 resentment, 00:28:30.560 --> 00:28:31.039 fear, 00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:31.119 anger, 00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:31.980 anxiety, 00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:33.039 anger, 00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:34.319 these are areas 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:35.059 of what Ignatius 00:28:35.059 --> 00:28:36.720 would call desolation. 00:28:37.619 --> 00:28:38.359 These are ways 00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:38.960 that you're either 00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:40.279 resisting the Lord 00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:41.240 or your elephant 00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:42.559 is being led away 00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:43.639 in some other direction. 00:28:44.599 --> 00:28:45.240 Now the key 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:46.059 to doing this, 00:28:46.379 --> 00:28:47.019 and this is hard 00:28:47.019 --> 00:28:47.700 for many of us, 00:28:48.659 --> 00:28:50.420 is not to judge 00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:51.859 yourself 00:28:51.859 --> 00:28:52.899 for feeling 00:28:52.899 --> 00:28:53.839 those negative feelings. 00:28:54.579 --> 00:28:55.399 Now that's a really 00:28:55.399 --> 00:28:56.180 hard thing to do. 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:56.799 To realize 00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:58.039 I have all this resentment, 00:28:58.460 --> 00:28:59.339 I have all this fear, 00:28:59.339 --> 00:29:00.659 typically we think 00:29:00.659 --> 00:29:01.819 I'm being such a bad Christian. 00:29:01.959 --> 00:29:02.879 I should have more faith. 00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:03.980 That's not what 00:29:03.980 --> 00:29:04.759 we're asking you to do. 00:29:05.259 --> 00:29:05.959 I'm asking you 00:29:05.959 --> 00:29:06.699 to be curious. 00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:08.439 Wow, 00:29:08.500 --> 00:29:09.459 I have a lot of anger here. 00:29:09.659 --> 00:29:09.899 Wow, 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:11.339 I have a lot of anxiety 00:29:11.339 --> 00:29:11.959 about this thing 00:29:11.959 --> 00:29:12.579 that's coming up. 00:29:13.559 --> 00:29:14.459 Be curious. 00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:17.119 Identify those things. 00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:18.619 And then ask God 00:29:18.619 --> 00:29:19.679 to help you understand 00:29:19.679 --> 00:29:20.799 where they're coming from. 00:29:21.019 --> 00:29:21.899 I guarantee you 00:29:21.899 --> 00:29:22.599 if you follow 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:23.259 that thread down 00:29:23.259 --> 00:29:23.899 you will find 00:29:23.899 --> 00:29:24.480 a part of you 00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:25.039 that needs to hear 00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:25.459 the gospel. 00:29:25.460 --> 00:29:28.440 And then after 00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:29.360 you spend some time 00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:30.700 identifying those areas 00:29:30.700 --> 00:29:31.539 of consolation 00:29:31.539 --> 00:29:32.200 and desolation, 00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:33.140 moving toward the Lord 00:29:33.140 --> 00:29:33.759 or moving away 00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:34.340 from the Lord, 00:29:35.579 --> 00:29:37.539 then bring all of that 00:29:37.539 --> 00:29:38.640 to God in prayer. 00:29:39.579 --> 00:29:40.559 Bring your areas 00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:41.500 of desolation 00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:42.579 before the Lord. 00:29:44.039 --> 00:29:44.519 Surrender 00:29:44.519 --> 00:29:45.579 to God's will. 00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:47.579 Ask for God 00:29:47.579 --> 00:29:48.440 to give you the strength 00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:49.180 to be faithful. 00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:51.380 And then the last thing 00:29:51.380 --> 00:29:52.319 is often my most 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:53.640 favorite step 00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:54.400 and that is to look 00:29:54.400 --> 00:29:55.140 toward tomorrow 00:29:55.140 --> 00:29:56.400 with hope. 00:29:57.180 --> 00:29:58.480 Don't skip this step. 00:29:59.080 --> 00:29:59.620 What that means 00:29:59.620 --> 00:30:00.240 is essentially 00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:02.120 envisioning the coming day 00:30:02.120 --> 00:30:03.560 and holding on 00:30:03.560 --> 00:30:04.060 to the promise 00:30:04.060 --> 00:30:04.520 that you're not 00:30:04.520 --> 00:30:05.340 going to face it alone. 00:30:07.300 --> 00:30:07.980 Christ is going 00:30:07.980 --> 00:30:08.740 to be there with you. 00:30:09.360 --> 00:30:10.240 He's going to be there 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:10.780 in you. 00:30:11.300 --> 00:30:12.060 And he's going to go 00:30:12.060 --> 00:30:12.740 before you 00:30:12.740 --> 00:30:14.540 because he loves you. 00:30:17.580 --> 00:30:18.780 I want to encourage you 00:30:18.780 --> 00:30:19.360 to do this 00:30:19.360 --> 00:30:20.300 for a couple of weeks. 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:23.180 Do it in the evening 00:30:23.180 --> 00:30:23.940 before you go to bed 00:30:23.940 --> 00:30:24.620 when it's quiet. 00:30:26.220 --> 00:30:27.180 Don't turn on Netflix. 00:30:28.360 --> 00:30:29.140 Don't fall asleep 00:30:29.140 --> 00:30:29.680 on your phone. 00:30:31.420 --> 00:30:32.220 Do this 00:30:32.220 --> 00:30:33.539 and then just see 00:30:33.539 --> 00:30:34.440 what the Spirit does. 00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:35.640 See, 00:30:35.700 --> 00:30:36.799 if you make yourself 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:37.539 available, 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:38.440 the Holy Spirit 00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:39.340 can bring renewal 00:30:39.340 --> 00:30:40.640 to all parts of you 00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:41.820 including the spirit 00:30:41.820 --> 00:30:42.340 of your mind, 00:30:42.580 --> 00:30:43.060 the rider 00:30:43.060 --> 00:30:43.860 and the elephant. 00:30:44.340 --> 00:30:45.039 Because Jesus 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:45.980 doesn't just want 00:30:45.980 --> 00:30:47.560 our rational ascent. 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:49.299 He wants your heart. 00:30:49.299 --> 00:30:51.399 He wants to make you 00:30:51.399 --> 00:30:53.180 whole once more. 00:30:53.419 --> 00:30:53.839 Let's pray. 00:30:58.220 --> 00:30:58.659 Lord, 00:30:58.759 --> 00:30:59.379 we can list 00:30:59.379 --> 00:31:00.940 all of these things out 00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:03.139 and they are good 00:31:03.139 --> 00:31:03.779 and valuable 00:31:03.779 --> 00:31:04.539 but ultimately 00:31:04.539 --> 00:31:06.159 our greatest need 00:31:06.159 --> 00:31:07.039 is you 00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:08.119 to be God 00:31:08.119 --> 00:31:09.919 and to be in us 00:31:09.919 --> 00:31:12.700 working in us, 00:31:13.899 --> 00:31:15.359 bringing to life 00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:15.960 those things 00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:16.599 that are dead, 00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:18.879 calling into the light 00:31:18.879 --> 00:31:20.379 those areas of sin, 00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:23.740 eradicating those 00:31:23.740 --> 00:31:25.259 areas of deception 00:31:25.259 --> 00:31:26.539 and deceit. 00:31:27.740 --> 00:31:28.219 Lord, 00:31:28.399 --> 00:31:29.939 calling us to you, 00:31:30.139 --> 00:31:30.959 all of us, 00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:32.099 to all of you. 00:31:33.019 --> 00:31:34.000 I pray that we would 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:34.599 not only intellectually 00:31:35.139 --> 00:31:36.779 understand and believe 00:31:36.779 --> 00:31:37.980 the doctrine 00:31:37.980 --> 00:31:39.039 that we have about you 00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:40.240 but that in our hearts 00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:41.379 that our deepest selves 00:31:41.379 --> 00:31:42.939 would yearn 00:31:42.939 --> 00:31:43.919 to be closer to you. 00:31:44.659 --> 00:31:45.619 And that during this Lent 00:31:45.619 --> 00:31:46.739 as we explore these things 00:31:46.739 --> 00:31:47.339 that you would 00:31:47.339 --> 00:31:48.619 inculcate in us 00:31:48.619 --> 00:31:49.679 a deep yearning, 00:31:50.439 --> 00:31:53.039 a yearning 00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:56.239 to feel the love 00:31:56.239 --> 00:31:56.619 of the one 00:31:56.619 --> 00:31:57.379 to whom we belong. 00:31:57.819 --> 00:31:58.459 We pray this in your 00:31:58.459 --> 00:31:59.239 son's holy name. 00:31:59.539 --> 00:31:59.719 Amen.