Good morning again. On the St. Paul's App, we've got an outline for today. We are four weeks in now.
! This is the fourth week on a series on marriage.
We kicked off with the mystery of marriage.
That is that the gospel of Jesus Christ and marriage explain each other.
Marriage is the ultimate human relationship, but it is the penultimate relationship.
It points to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church.
Then we moved into the power of marriage.
That is, what we saw there was that the problem, if you like, the main havoc-wreaking problem in many marriages
and the ever-present problem in every marriage is self-centeredness.
And Ephesians 5, which is our main test, says that marriage, everything that Paul writes about marriage
that was just read out to us, hangs on verse 21.
And it is the power to fulfill everything that Paul writes about marriage as he describes it.
And that is the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit, pointing us to the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ,
who surrendered his will for our sake, gave himself for us.
And therefore, the work of the Holy Spirit transforms us to be selfless.
And then last week, it was the meaning of marriage.
And that is a permanent and exclusive legal commitment between a man and a woman to share their entire life with the other.
And so this binding legal commitment is what is needed to provide the security for romance
and for love to flourish in life, in the married life.
And now we're asking the question, well, now that we've got all that sorted out,
what is marriage for?
What's its purpose, if you like?
What's its goal?
That's what we're up to today.
Four points, you've got them on the St. Paul's app if you've got that in front of you.
Now, the Bible, as I said right at the very beginning, starts with a marriage.
And it ends with a marriage.
And in the Bible, it starts with God creating the material universe.
The constant refrain in Genesis 1 and 2 is,
He created, he created, he created.
And then it says, the wording shifts when God creates humanity.
And it says in chapter 1, verse 26,
Let us make man in our image and our likeness.
That is, the language shifts to being plural.
Let us.
But the image and the likeness of God is singular.
And so what we have here, right at the very beginning of the Bible,
is the earliest glimpse of the Christian teaching
that there is one God who is three distinct persons,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Each person of the Trinity is fully, completely, totally God,
and yet each person of the Trinity is distinct.
And so what we see there, the implications of that,
is that the very heart of ultimate reality,
as the Christian faith describes it,
is personal relationship.
The God of Christianity is community,
of mutual love relationships,
sacrificing and serving each other two members of the Trinity,
and delighting and loving them completely.
They exist for the other two.
And so that's the only way,
that's the only context where we can come to terms with Genesis 2, verse 18.
The Lord God said,
It is not good for the man to be alone.
You see, everything you read in the creation account up to this point
is God said and it happened and God declared it to be good.
This is the first time and the only time in the creation account
that we read the words,
not good, not good.
And it's not because it's sin.
It's not because there's a design flaw.
I mean, Adam is in perfect paradise,
walking and talking with God.
He's made in the image of God,
who is an us and not a me,
and that is what is not good.
Adam is alone.
God created us to have such a deep need for human relationships
that not even paradise itself can satisfy it.
It's why you can accumulate everything in the world,
but if you're alone, it means nothing.
You see, what Adam needed,
because God brought all the animals in front of him,
what Adam needed was a companion who was like him,
like him.
And so Genesis 2.18,
the Lord God said,
it is not good for a man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.
Now,
it says there in the original Hebrew language,
God created what the Hebrew language calls or used.
The word used there is an ezer.
It means a,
it's a word that means helper companion.
Quite literally,
what he needs is a friend.
Adam needs a friend.
So for all you dog lovers out there,
a dog is not man's best friend.
The concept of helper,
and we need to understand this,
unless it be taken out of context,
helper here is not personal assistant.
That's not what Adam needed.
He didn't need someone to schedule stuff for him.
He didn't need staff,
not looking for a mate or a domestic helper at all.
Doesn't mean,
the wording in no way applies,
and we'll unpack this later in the series.
In no way applies at all,
means that the helper,
who is any less than Adam,
because the woman too is made in the image of God.
The Old Testament,
the reason why we know it's not less than in any way whatsoever,
is because the Old Testament uses the same word
in a different context.
And it's describing God.
The same word that's used here for Adam's helper
is the same word that is used to describe God
and his relationship to Israel.
He is,
God is Israel's Ezer,
companion helper,
friend.
And in actual fact,
the verb form of Ezer,
literally means the one,
the friend who saves from danger.
And so in the context of Genesis 2,
what we're meant to read here is,
God provides the man
with a friend who delivers him from loneliness.
That's the helper,
a companion friend,
equal to him,
but different from him.
And so in Genesis 2,
verse 23,
we have the very first recorded words of any human being.
And this is it,
an emphatic outburst.
At last,
this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.
at last.
He says,
he looks at the woman that God brings.
You're just like me.
Sort of.
But he's saying something even deeper.
In 2 Samuel 5,
we read this,
all the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron
and said,
we are your own flesh and blood.
Literally,
in the Hebrew there,
it's,
we are your own flesh and bone.
The same language is used in the Old Testament
that Adam uses here when describing Eve,
same language is used
within the context of a covenant relationship.
You see,
what's happening here
is that when they come to David,
they're not saying,
we're your family.
David is king of Judah
and Israel's looking for a king.
In biblical language,
flesh and bone represent weakness and strength.
The flesh decays.
The bone doesn't.
It's a sign of one's weakness
and one's strength.
And so they're not making a statement
that hey,
we're family.
They're making a statement
of commitment to David,
loyalty to him as their king.
They're making a covenant statement.
We will be loyal to you,
King David,
committed to you
through all the ups and the downs,
the high points and the low points
in our future together.
And so when God brings the woman to the man
in Genesis 2,
his first words are not,
what a babe.
The first recorded words
are what would we call equivalent
to wedding vows.
In weakness and strength,
in richer and poorer,
sickness and in health,
I am committed to you.
my friend.
So in the beginning,
what we see here,
God gave the man a companion
to be his spouse.
And in fact,
the female speaker
in the Song of Songs
echoes Adam's words
in chapter 5, verse 16,
where she says,
this is my lover,
this is my friend.
Marriage,
expand the definition somewhat further,
marriage is a permanent
and exclusive legal commitment
between a man and a woman
to share their entire lives together
as friends.
So let's unpack
what a friendship is.
What's the biblical idea
of friendship?
The Bible does a lot,
spends a lot of time
unpacking what true friendship
looks like
and we have four main qualities
in terms of biblical friendship.
The first is dependability.
Proverbs 17, 17,
a friend loves at all times
and a brother is born
for a time of adversity.
This is the opposite
of the fair weather friend
who comes over
when things are successful
but when it goes away
when your prosperity hits
or there's a,
you know,
your influence wanes
or your status drops,
you don't have so many
Facebook friends anymore
or sickness hits
or whatever it might be.
Proverbs 18, 24 says,
true friends
stick closer to a brother
including the times of adversity.
They are always there with you.
They never leave you.
The second quality
is transparency.
Real friends encourage
and affirm one another
but they also critique one another.
Proverbs 27,
better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Wounds from a friend
can be trusted
but an enemy multiplies kisses.
They just affirm.
A true friend
like a surgeon
will cut you
in order to heal you.
Proverbs 27, 17
tells us that
friends become wiser together
through a healthy clash
of viewpoints.
As iron sharpens iron
so friends sharpen friends.
And so you could
summarise the first two qualities
if you like
as true friends
will
always
let you in
to who they are
but they'll never
let you down
even when they let you in.
The third quality
of friendship
is
sympathy.
Now sympathy
is a combination
of two Greek words
which are
synpathos
which means
common passion.
That's what sympathy is.
It's not empathy.
They're two very different things.
Sympathy is a common passion.
So friends,
friendships are discovered
if you like
as people discover
that they have
common interests
in things
and longings
for the same sort of things.
C.S. Lewis
in his book
The Four Loves
insists
if you draw a picture
of the difference
between
erotic
romantic love
and
friendship love
he said
erotic love
is when two people
are just looking
at each other.
He said
friendship
is when
two people
are standing
side by side
and
are fixed
on a common
passion
together.
That's
friendship.
That's the difference.
When we meet
another person
who shares
our common
passion
there is a potential
for a real
friendship.
If the real
friendship
is nurtured
beyond the
common passion
to transparency
and a
constancy
in the relationship
if it's just
the common
passion
passions
wax and wane
you know
especially
if your friend
has got ADHD
my goodness
they'll change
their mind
all the time
and so
friends
at stages
of life
particular
passion
they come
and they go
unless
there's a
constancy
and a
transparency
you see
the paradox
is that
friendship
cannot be
merely
about itself
you want
a friend
I need
a friend
well let's
be friends
that's not
a friendship
it must be
about something
that both
friends are
committed to
and passionate
about
besides each
other
and this
has
absolutely
remarkable
application
for every
single
Christian
despite
the enormous
differences
that we might
have
in life
we have
something
in common
that is
far more
powerful
than any
other
common
anything
we might
have in
common
or far
more powerful
than supersedes
everything that
we don't have
in common
and that is
we've all
experienced
the grace
of God
in the
gospel of
the Lord
Jesus
Christ
that is
the common
passion
Christ
and so
the fourth
quality
of
Christian
friendship
is a
shared
goal
if your
shared
goal
is
a run
club
one of you
breaks a
leg
and the
run
club
shared
goal
passion
is no
longer
there
the
beauty
of
the
Christian
shared
goal
is that
it is
never
ending
it always
exists
the goal
is always
there
any
two
Christians
with
nothing
else
but a
common
faith
in
Christ
can
have
a
robust
friendship
that
endures
to death
because
they don't
just have
Jesus
in common
but they're
heading
towards
Jesus
together
they're
helping
each
other
on
their
journey
towards
the new
creation
as well
as
doing
ministry
in the
world
together
and so
the picture
that the
Bible
draws
of this
spiritual
element
to friendship
this common
goal
Christ and
the common
goal
is profoundly
deep
profoundly
deep
you see
Christian
friendship
which is
often when we
talk about
we need
more community
Christian
friendship
is not
simply about
going to
concerts
together
or enjoying
the same
sort of
sporting
events
or common
interests
it is
the deep
oneness
that develops
as two
people
journey
together
towards
the same
destination
helping
one another
through
the dangers
and the
challenges
along the
way
it's a
relationship
that's actually
going somewhere
for the
Christian
Christ
is meant
to be
their
greatest
passion
in life
and
Christian
friendship
is sharing
that
passion
and
taking
that
journey
together
the
richest
and the
best
relationships
are those
that combine
if you like
both the
natural
and the
supernatural
elements
we
both
have a
passion
for
cars
and we
both
have a
greater
passion
for
Jesus
you know
there's
those things
that link
together
but the
greater
one is
the
supernatural
passion
it's the
one that
endures
what
marriage
does
is
it
builds
on those
things
and it
adds
to that
the
supernatural
bonds
of
friendship
a
romantic
bond
as well
where you
don't
not just
standing
side by
side
looking at
Jesus
but you're
looking at
each other
as you look
to Jesus
it's that
other
element
and it's
what makes
marriage
the richest
and the
deepest
of human
relationships
and so
in the
Bible
marriage
is not
romance
garnished
with
friendship
hopefully
over time
it is
actually
friendship
that is
garnished
with
romance
that's
marriage
and that's
why
as the
Bible
sees it
you are
married
marriage
is
where
you are
married
to
your
best
friend
you see
when God
brought
the man
brought
this
first
man
his
spouse
together
he
brought
them
together
not just
as
lovers
but as
the
companion
friend
that
the
depths
of
their
heart
was
seeking
when
Proverbs
2
17
speaks
of
one's
spouse
it
uses
a
very
unique
word
that
means
your
special
confidant
it
means
we would
say
your
bestest
your
BBF
your
very
bestest
friends
now
bear
this in
mind
what this
is saying
here
this
is in
a day
these
words
are
written
in
Proverbs
2
are
written
in a
day
in
the
age
when
where
women
were
primarily
seen
as a
husband's
property
where
marriages
was a
business
deal
to
bring
families
together
and to
increase
their
social
status
and
their
security
and
bear
in
mind
that
this
is
also
what
that
means
is
it's
inconceivable
in the
day
of
Proverbs
to
see
your
wife
as
your
best
friend
as
much
as
it
is
inconceivable
for
us
to
do
the
same
thing
today
what
do
you
mean
by
that
well
in
modern
society
with
its
emphasis
on
romantic
passion
sexual
chemistry
and
compatibility
it
is
just
as
radical
to
insist
that
your
spouse
should
be
your
best
friend
that's
the
very
foundation
you
see
if
you
can
think
back
this
far
to
the
dating
days
and
for
those
of
you
who
are
hoping
for
that
now
it
is
typical
for
a
single
person
to
walk
into
a
room
to
see
a
number
of
people
of
the
opposite
sex
and
immediately
begin
to
screen
those
who
are
appropriate
and
those
who
are
not
appropriate
or
those
who
are
potential
and
those
who
are
not
potentials
and
it's
got
nothing
to do
with
companionship
you
screen
them
before
you've
even
spoken
to
them
you
eliminate
some
you've
got a
pool
that you
want to
fish
from
and
then
we
start
dripping
working
out
who's
the
most
likely
candor
from
here
you
see
so
many
people
go
about
their
dating
starting
from
the
wrong
end
and
they
end
up
in
marriages
that
aren't
really
about
anything
and
they
aren't
going
anywhere
and
so
here's
the
danger
if
you
see
your
spouse
as
mainly
a
sexual
partner
or
as
a
financial
partner
or
someone
who
will
nurse
you
when
you
get
really
old
you
will
find
over
the
course
of
your
marriage
you
will
find
that
you
will
need
pursuits
outside
of the
marriage
to
fulfill
your
sense
of
who
you
are
to
fill
up
your
make
you
feel
like
you've
got
a
whole
soul
and
when
that
happens
children
parents
work
hobbies
a network
of close
friends
will
capture
your
imagination
and
they
will
provide
you
with
the
joy
and
the
meaning
and
they
will
absorb
your
emotional
energy
more
than
your
marriage
so
Ephesians
5
31
is
quoting
the
very
first
marriage
in
Genesis
2
where
it
says
for
this
reason
a
man
will
leave
his
father
and
mother
and
be
united
to
his
wife
and
the
two
will
become
one
flesh
ancient
cultures
in
this
day
even
in
Ephesians
5
put
enormous
emphasis
on the
parent
child
relationship
enormous
emphasis
in
such a
way
that
pleasing
your
parents
and
being
faithful
to
the
wishes
of
your
parents
is
all
important
all
important
in
more
traditional
cultures
even
today
parents
and
grandparents
are
given
great
authority
and
children
are
expected
to
heed
their
parents
wishes
above
all
requests
the
relationship
that
most
shapes
our
life
whatever
cultural
background
you
come
from
shapes
our
life
of
who
we
are
is
our
relationship
with
our
parents
up to
a
certain
point
and
yet
nowhere
!
in
the
biblical
account
of
creation
did
God
put
a
parent
and
a
child
together
in
the
garden
of
Eden
nowhere
he
put a
husband
and a
wife
and
what
we are
meant
to see
and
everything
from
this
moment
we're
meant
to see
is the
relationship
with your
spouse
supersedes
all
other
relationships
including
the
parental
relationship
the moment
you get
married
marriage
must be
more
important
to you
than
absolutely
everything
else
absolutely
everything
else
there is
no
human
being
should
get
more
of your
love
your
energy
your
activity
and
your
commitment
than
your
spouse
the
wedding
vows
that we
take
are
very
clear
of this
in terms
of the
traditional
wedding
vows
Christian
wedding
vows
it
uses
it
picks
it
up
from
Genesis
2
and
Ephesians
5
and
it's
very
clear
the
vow
that you
make
is
forsaking
all
others
the
all
others
is not
forsaking
other
potential
spouses
it
is
all
others
it
is
very
symbolic
in a
traditional
service
when the
father
comes
with the
bride
down
the
aisle
and
stands
before
me
there
is
a
certain
point
where
I
ask
the
question
who
brings
this
bride
to be
married
to
this
man
this
groom
and
the
father
or
sometimes
it's
both
the
mother
and
the
father
stand
up
at
that
point
and
say
we
do
or
I
do
and
at
that
point
I
say
sit
down
thank
you
when
I
say
sit
down
what
I'm
saying
is
sit
down
and
back
away
that's
what
that's
symbolically
what's
happening
there
you've
done a
great
job
it's
now
over
God
here
in
Ephesians
5
which is
even
more
remarkable
in a
patriarchal
society
for the
man
to
leave
his
father
and
mother
whereas
we
think
in
patriarchal
societies
the
woman
now
joins
the
man
and
becomes
part
of
the
man's
family
that's
not
what's
happening
in
Ephesians
5
if
you
are
married
the
opinion
of
your
parents
ought
not
to
be
more
important
than
your
spouses
nothing
should
get
more
of
your
ingenuity
your
time
and
your
energy
than
your
spouse
if
your
spouse
does
not
feel
that
you
are
putting
him
or
her
first
then
by
definition
you
are
not
you're
not
if
you've
got a
communication
problem
and one
says
I don't
think we've
got a
communication
problem
the other
says
we do
have a
communication
problem
by definition
you've got a
communication
problem
and when
when this
happens
your marriage
is dying
you're
in a
lot
of
trouble
too
many
marriage
problems
arise
because
couples
are
yet
or
have
never
left
They've
never
gone
through
the
process
of
leaving
and
cleaving
to
each
other
and
just
bear in
mind
here
when we
hear that
we think
mummy's
boy
kind of
person
the person
who's
not
cut
the
apron
strings
yes
that's
one
example
of it
another
example
of it
is those
who have
a real
detesting
of their
parents
you too
have not
left
and cleaved
if you
resent your
parents
you still
haven't
left
them
you're
still
making
decisions
about
your
married
life
to
spite
them
so many
spouses
allow
their
bad
relationship
to
their
parents
to
control
how
they
relate
to
their
spouse
you
must
leave
it
behind
leaving
and
cleaving
means
that
no
couple
should
do
anything
at all
simply
because
my
family
did it
this
way
if
the
Bible
says
you
do
it
it's
unquestioned
everything
else
is open
for
negotiation
one of
the things
I do
when I
tell
couples
or
prepare
couples
for
marriage
one bit
of advice
I ask
them
or one
question
I ask
them
what are
you doing
on the
first
Christmas
after
you've
been
married
I
don't
know
I
haven't
thought
about
it
think
about
it
here's
my
recommendation
set
the
agenda
right
from the
very
beginning
to do
your
own
thing
on your
very
first
Christmas
accept
no
invitation
from extended
family
and do
your own
thing
for the
very
first
Christmas
set
the
pattern
that you
are a
new
family
unit
and that
spouse
is not
left
now
the
other
problem
that
sinks
so
many
marriages
is the
over
commitment
to
the
next
generation
to
children
this
one's
slightly
more
harder
because
they're
actually
part
of
your
new
family
unit
they're
not
part
of
your
former
family
unit
they're
part
of
your
new
family
unit
and so
it's
right
to
consider
that
parenting
is a
very
high
and
important
calling
in
life
if
a
marriage
cools
which
it
can
in
the
years
during
when
the
kids
are
so
needy
which
means
up to
probably
about
25
nowadays
it
is
it
is
natural
to
get
your
primary
need
of
love
and
affection
to
have
it
met
through
the
child
parent
relationship
rather
than
the
husband
wife
relationship
but
when
we
love
our
children
more
than
we
love
our
spouse
then
the
entire
family
unit
gets
pulled
off
centre
and
everyone
suffers
it's
the
worst
thing
you can
do
for
your
children
it's
why
so
many
marriages
come
to a
grinding
halt
when
the
kids
depart
Ephesians
6
verse 4
says
the
goal
of
parenting
is
to
raise
them
up
in
the
Lord
raise
them
up
grow
them
up
the
goal
of
parenting
to
summarize
that
the
goal
of
parenting
is
to
get
rid
of
them
to
have
them
in
order
to
get
rid
of
them
that's
the
goal
I've
summarized
it
that's
not
the
goal
in
this
life
that you
should
have
for
your
spouse
the
best
way
to
be
a
great
parent
is
to
be
a
great
spouse
that
is
the
main
thing
that
our
children
need
from
us
so
the
crucial
principle
here
is
that
your
spouse
should
be
or
is
at
least
capable
of
becoming
your
best
friend
where
they
know
your
heart
more
than
anyone
else
anyone
else
it's
a
relationship
of
dependability
transparency
sympathy
with a
common
vision
and
together
it
creates
a
deep
oneness
over
time
in
other
words
to
summarize
it
if
you
like
the
common
vision
for
your
marriage
is
that
you're
playing
dress
ups
I
need
to
explain
that
it's
up
there
my
last
point
preparing
for
the
ultimate
friend
in
Ephesians
5
25
to
27
this
is
the
goal
if
you
like
the
common
vision
for
marriage
is
getting
each
other
to
their
ultimate
friend
that's
the
vision
that's
the
goal
that
is
to
get
your
spouse
prepared
and
ready
for
her
wedding
day
the
ultimate
wedding
day
her
true
lover
friend
their
true
love
of
friend
putting
Christian
friendship
at the
heart
of
marriage
what it
does
is it
lifts
it
to a
level
that
no
other
vision
of
marriage
even
comes
close
to
you
see
the
Bible's
vision
of
marriage
is
to
look
at
your
spouse
and
to
get
a
glimpse
!
of
the
person
that
God
is
creating
and
you
fall
in
love
with
that
that's
Christian
marriage
when
Michelangelo
was asked
how he
carved
his
magnificent
David
statue
out of
a lump
of
marble
he's
reputed
to have
said
I
looked
inside
the
marble
and I
just
took
away
the
bits
that
were
not
David
that's
the
vision
of
marriage
right
there
Jesus
died
on the
cross
for
our
sin
to
remake
us
into
his
image
his
goal
is to
perfect
his
church
according
to
Ephesians
5
his
bride
!
He
saved
us
he
made
a
covenant
commitment
to
us
to
perfect
us
that's
his
purpose
and
goal
for
his
church
and
it's
his
purpose
and
goal
for
marriage
is a
permanent
and
exclusive
legal
commitment
between
a man
and a
woman
to
share
their
entire
life
with
each
other
and
to
prepare
each
other
for
the
day
when
they
will
stand
before
their
ultimate
friend
and
lover
Jesus
that's
the
purpose
of
marriage
is
where I
say
I
want
I
want
to
partner
with
you
and
God
in
the
journey
that
he
is
taking
you
to
his
throne
each
spouse
should
see
the
great
thing
that
Jesus
is
doing
in
the
life
of
their
partner
by
God
through
his
word
and
his
spirit
and
each
spouse
should
give
themselves
to
be
a
vehicle
for
the
work
of
gospel
transformation
in
the
life
of
their
partner
they
are
to
envisage
the
day
when
they
will
stand
before
God
and
seeing
each
other
spotless
beautiful
glorious
in
his
presence
when
Christians
understand
the
meaning
of
marriage
and
the
purpose
of
marriage
in
this
way
it
sheds
an
entire
different
light
on
their
wedding
day
entire
!
different
light
when
two
Christians
stand
before
me
the
minister
for
instance
on
their
wedding
day
all
decked
out
in
their
wedding
outfits
they're
kind
of
what
they're
doing
in
this
moment
they're
kind
of
playing
dress
ups
they're
just
like
kids
at
that
point
when
kids
play
dress
ups
they're
mirroring
a
greater
reality
a much
bigger
reality
and
that's
what
happens
when
two
Christians
do
the
same
thing
on
their
wedding
day
they're
mirroring
a
far
more
important
reality
they're
saying
this
moment
represents
the
ultimate
moment
as
they're
all
dressed
up
and put
on
their
best
versions
of
themselves
they're
looking
forward
publicly
where
they are
displaying
the
ultimate
wedding
day
where
each
of
them
will
stand
not
before
me
a
flawed
human
being
but
they
will
stand
before
the
Lord
Jesus
Christ
and
they
will
turn
to
each
other
and
what
they
will
see
is
an
indescribable
beauty
a
flawlessness
a
radiance
and a
glory
that
no
wedding
ceremony
today
can
ever
reproduce
that
is
a
common
vision
for
your
spouse
your
vision
for
your
spouse
is
to
hear
God
say
well
done
good
and
faithful
servants
well
done
over
the
years
you
have
lifted
each
other
up
to
me
you
have
sacrificed
for
each
other
you
have
held
one
another
up
in
prayer
and
thanksgiving
you
have
confronted
each
other
with
your
flaws
you
have
confronted
your
sins
you
have
rebuked
each
other
you
have
corrected
each
other
you
have
trained
each
other
in
righteousness
you
have
repented
you
have
forgiven
each
other
you
have
hugged
you
have
loved
each
other
you
have
continually
pushed
each
other
towards
me
now
look at
you
you're
beautiful
and as
he looks
at one
spouse
you look
for the
other
in the
crowd
might have
got there
10
years
earlier
where
are
you
well
done
well
done
and
friends
when
that's
our
vision
romance
sex
travel
laughter
the common
interest
just the
plain
fun
they're
all
byproducts
they're
all byproducts
of this
process of
sanctification
and refinement
and glorification
what keeps
the marriage
going
what takes
it to the
deepest
levels
of love
and romance
and joy
is your
commitment
to your
spouse's
holiness
you're
committed
to presenting
your spouse
to her
ultimate
spouse
her ultimate
lover
her ultimate
friend
Jesus
for those
of you
who are
feeling
overwhelmingly
guilty
right now
let me
just say
no amount
of failure
on behalf
of any
spouse
will in
any way
hinder
your
spouse's
glorious
moment
in front
of her
true friend
and lover
Jesus
but it's
for your
joy
to be
part
of it
Ephesians
5 tells
us
that this
is the
mission
of Jesus
for his
church
and so
if you're
feeling
guilty
and how
do you
do it
you look
to Jesus
look to
Jesus
on a
cross
when
Jesus
was on
the cross
he did
not look
down
at his
potential
spouses
and look
at them
and eliminate
them based
on their
attractiveness
or their
suitability
he did
not look
down on
humanity
with a
heart full
of admiration
and affection
he saw
no
compatibility
he saw
no chemistry
but he
gave
himself
he
covenanted
with us
he put
our needs
ahead of his
own
he sacrificed
faith
he gave
himself
to bring
us
to himself
to make
us
beautiful
glorious
love
and the
bible
tells
spouses
not only
to imitate
the quality
and the
manner
of his
love
but also
the goal
of it
he died
to make
us
holy
and so
spouses
die to
make
your spouse
holy
and so
paradoxically
this means
what Paul's
urging spouses
to do
here
is for
each of
them
to love
Jesus
more
than they
love
their spouse
what this
looks like
in practice
all the
details
all the
hard bits
Nick's going
to tell you
next week
god
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