We're going to look at this together. Before we do, we're going to pray and to ask our
prayer.
I pray for Tom Campbell, who's up in service today, who's been preaching in the church
there today.
Our Father God, we thank you so much for your word. We thank you for its great big story
of a God who has come to pursue us, to love us so that we might belong to you. We thank
you that you are generous in your love towards us. And we thank you that you are generous
in all the gifts that you give to us. And we ask now that you would give to us and pour
out your Spirit upon us so that we may hear and understand, be able to apply these truths
to our life, whatever status we may find ourselves in. We pray for those who are speaking your
word all around this country today. We pray for Tom and Sherlock. We pray for other churches
in this city, in this campus. We pray for ourselves now as we listen to your word that you would
give to each speaker your spirit, that they may speak clearly, communicate effectively,
so that hearts will be challenged, people changed, churches built up and encouraged, that we may
go on living the way he has called us to live. So please, Lord, make our time together in encouraging
one, challenge us, but also change us. We ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.
So last week we looked at marriage and today we're going to be looking at singleness. So if you do
have questions afterwards, please do talk to me. You might agree with everything and you might want
to discuss it out and we can do that over-copping or talk to your neighbour about it. I'm sure you've all
heard of the comedy film, Bridget Jones Diary. Well, the film starts with Bridget reading from her diary.
This is what it says. It all began on New Year's Day, in my 32nd year of being single. Once again,
I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every year she tries to fix me
up with some bushy-haired middle-aged four and I feared this year would be no exception. Bridget is
single and all her friends are either married or they have partners and she feels left out and
deplanious. And with ongoing pressure from her friends and from her mother, she writes in her diary,
the story. New Year's resolution one, lose weight, stop smoking, drink less than 14 units of alcohol a week.
New Year's resolution two, always put last night's panties in the washing basket and equally important,
we'll find nice sensible boyfriends to go out with. And the rest of the story unfolds, Bridget goes looking for her man.
But the film is putting across a message. Being single, we are told, is not an option. If you don't have a partner,
or at least someone who you can regularly sleep with, well, there must be something wrong with you.
It's just not acceptable. The pressure is huge for single people to be linked to someone. You must either be
in a relationship or pursuing a relationship or ending one because you've fallen for someone else.
And it seems to me that Christian culture has become no different. The pressure that people are put under,
single people, to be in a relationship is huge. He's such a great guy. How come he's still single?
There must be something wrong. They'd make a great couple, wouldn't they? We'll have to try and get him to get him.
Is she still on her own? Maybe we should pray and actually find something.
Somehow we have bought into the world's culture that to be single is to be abnormal. It's almost seen as a curse,
as a disease that you're carrying around. If you really want to get on in life, then you need to settle down and get married.
Now such thinking is not only wrong, it is sensitive, it's unloving, and above all else it's safe to understand
God's use of God's use of being single. Well far from being abnormal, singleness is actually a gift from God.
Look at chapter 7 and verse 7.
Paul is writing through the church. He says,
I wish that all men were as I am. Now let me just pause there. The Apostle Paul, who you will know of, who wrote a good deal of the New Testament,
was actually married at one time. Well how do we know that? Well he was a member of the Sanhedrin, and you couldn't be a member of the Sanhedrin without being married.
Now within Jewish culture, it was more than likely that everybody was, but particularly because of his position he would have been married.
So somewhere along the line, Paul started as a married man, but now he's on his own. Either his wife has died, or perhaps she left him when he became a Christian.
We don't know. But we do know that right now he is. So he says in verse 7, I wish that all men were as I am.
But each person has their own gift from God. One has this gift, and another has that.
So he's saying very simply that some have been given the gift of marriage, and some have been given the gift of singleness.
Our status, whether we are married or single, doesn't make us more superior or less inferior.
Our status, whatever situation we are in, is a gift from God. So rather than a curse to be put up with,
singleness, like marriage, is to be welcomed and accepted as something good from our heavenly father.
In fact, we should be very careful to make sure that our status never defines us.
What sense is the greater gift, my relationship to Christ?
This is the greater gift that we could ever have, whether we are married or single.
And this is what our true and primary identity is.
The most important thing, regardless of status, is that we are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that we belong to him.
Now, if you are single, you may be struggling with what verse 7 says.
You might be saying, well, I don't very much like that gift.
I prefer the gift of marriage. In fact, I feel I ought to be married. I like to be married. I don't like this gift that God has given me.
Well, as we will see shortly, our status can, and it does, from time to time, change.
But perhaps the reason why people struggle with singleness is because they don't know if you understand the purpose.
Marriage has a purpose that we looked at last week, and so the singleness.
We tend to put far too much emphasis on our status, when the real focus is about service.
Not status, but service.
So the first thing that we're going to look at is a life of service.
Marriage is a picture on the one hand of Christ's love and devotion to the church.
Singleness, on the other hand, is a picture of the church's love and devotion to Christ.
Marriage should not be seen as superior to singleness, and singleness should never be viewed as inferior to marriage.
Marriage should not be seen as inferior to the church.
Together, they are complementary.
On the one hand, or together, they reflect the whole relationship of God with his people.
So if people look at the married unit, if they look at the married life, they should see a picture of God's loving service,
as the way the husband sacrificially serves and cares for his wife.
And if people look at the single life, they should see a picture of our loving service and dedication to God.
As people give themselves wholeheartedly to serve and love God.
So singleness is actually full of purpose.
It's all about service.
Well, where do you get that from, say?
Well, let's have a look at the passage here, and we'll see how it's worked out.
First of all, stay as you are.
Verse 17.
Nevertheless, he's just been talking about marriage and the various situations people may find in their marriage.
He says, nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigns them,
unto which God has called them.
Now, because of all the sexual immorality that there was in common,
and that was seeping into the church,
in attempt to be different,
the Christians were coming around and saying,
look, we have to change our status.
We have to be so different to everybody else.
So married people were acting as if they were single,
and single people were kind of hiding away completely from everybody else,
and they were all changing their status.
But what he's saying here is,
whatever situation you were in,
when you became a Christian,
stay as you are.
For example, verse 18.
He asks the question,
was a man already circumcised when he was called,
when he became a Christian?
Well, he should not become uncircumcised.
Was a man uncircumcised when he became a Christian?
Well, he should not be circumcised.
Now, just as you don't change your cultural identity when you become a Christian,
so you don't seek to change your status when you become a Christian.
There was no sign that you came in the door that said,
when you become a Christian,
you must become a Protestant,
or you must become a Baptist.
In the same way, there isn't a sign up there that says,
when you become a Christian,
you must get married.
First, verse 19.
Circumcision is nothing,
and uncircumcision is nothing.
Keeping God's command is what counts.
So, marriage by itself
is not going to make any difference to your life
in terms of purity or your relationship with God.
And singleness by itself is not going to make you any better or more pure by itself.
Obeying God is what ultimately counts.
So, verse 20.
Each one, each person,
should remain in the situation
which he would be
when God called him.
When he became a Christian.
Now, there's a big question there, isn't there?
You're probably looking at me and saying,
Charlie, when did you become a Christian?
Well,
I was single when I became a Christian.
But I'm married now.
Am I being disobedient?
Well, we'll come back to that in a minute.
You see, being a Christian does not mean a change in status,
but a change in service.
We have been now set free to serve God.
Look at verse 21.
Were you a slave when you became a Christian or when you were taught?
Well, don't let it trouble you.
Although, if you can, gain your freedom.
Or, if you can, gain your freedom to do so.
Now, slavery was a real issue in the first century
and it still is in many parts of the world today.
And many who had become Christians were actually slaves.
So, in this instance,
he is not encouraging slaves to stay as they are.
But, as it says at the end of verse 21,
don't let it trouble you.
In other words,
if you're in a situation
and you can put up with being a slave,
you've got a good master
who actually does take care of you
and does provide you with a place to live
and does give you food for your work.
If you can put up with it,
put up with it.
Although, if you can gain your freedom,
do so.
So, why is he introducing this whole issue of slavery?
Well, he's introducing it to illustrate
a freedom that we all have.
Look at verse 22.
For he who was a slave
when he was called by the Lord,
that phrase called by the Lord
is simply when he became a Christian,
is the Lord's freedom.
Now, physically, obviously,
he is not free.
He's still tied to his earthly master
under his control.
He has to do what he says.
But, through Christ,
the slave,
when he becomes a Christian,
has been set free spiritually.
He's been released from the power
and the consequences of sin.
He's been set free from a more
risk of the devil.
He is now a freed man.
Verse 22.
Well, the rest of verse 22,
similarly,
he who was a free man,
who wasn't a slave,
when he became a Christian,
is now Christ's slave.
So, physically,
this person who wasn't a slave,
obviously,
when he becomes a Christian,
doesn't have changed by Langdon
and he's not kicked out for work.
No, he maintains his freedom.
But, through Christ,
when he becomes a Christian,
he now becomes a slave to Christ.
In one sense,
he has lost his freedom.
And now,
he has become a slave
to serve Christ.
Not to a ruthless dictator,
but to a loving and caring king.
And that's simply what it is
for each one of us,
if we are Christians.
We have been set free
from serving ourselves,
so that now,
we become slaves of Christ.
And in the context here,
he is saying,
if you are single,
if you are unmarried,
you have been set free
from sin,
so that you can now become
a servant of Christ.
It's not about your status,
it's all about service.
Verse 23,
you were bought at a price.
Do not become slaves of men.
Christ died for you.
He owns you.
He is your true master.
You belong to him.
Just as we read
at the beginning in Ezekiel,
we have this one
who pursued us,
this lover who came
to find us.
And when he finds us,
he says,
you now belong to me.
And he's simply saying,
here,
you were bought at a price.
Do not become slaves of men.
Don't use your singleness,
don't use your freedom to indulge in sexual immorality
and behave however you want.
Don't be using your singleness
to be constantly looking around
for that perfect relationship.
Instead,
use your singleness
to serve God,
to give your life to him.
verse 24,
brothers and sisters,
each person
as responsible to God
should remain
in the situation
God called us.
We are
to be slaves
to Christ.
Look down
at verse 32.
I would like you
to be free
from concern.
He says that
because if you look
at the end of verse 28,
it says,
those who marry
will face many troubles
in this life
and I want to spare you this.
And he continues
verse 32,
I would like you
to be free
from concern.
An unmarried man
is concerned
about the Lord's affairs.
how he can please
the Lord's affairs.
But a married man
is concerned
about the affairs
of this woman,
looking after his wife,
after her needs
and his interests
are divided.
And he balances up
as he talks about
the women.
An unmarried woman
or virgin
is concerned
about the Lord's affairs.
Her aim
is to be devoted
to the Lord
in both body
and spirit.
But a married woman
is concerned
about the affairs
of this world.
How she can plead
her husband.
Now, it's all
very crystal clear,
isn't it?
It's saying
a single person
will do far more
for the Lord
than a married person.
It's not saying
that the single person
is better
as in superior,
but practically speaking,
single people
will be able
to serve God
far more
than married people.
I think it says
a bit more.
You can see it
in those who are married.
Perhaps even those
who are married
through this morning.
They're always tired,
aren't they?
Why are they always tired?
They never have much time.
Dad is rushing back
from work
to look after
the wife
who hasn't been
well through the day.
Mum is having
to rush out early
to bring the kids
to the flesh
on the way
to somewhere else.
Mum can't go out
tonight because
the kids are being
put to bed.
Now, none of these
things are wrong.
They're all necessary
and they're valuable,
but the reality is
that's what they're
all tied up with,
these very practical
things,
and they don't have
time,
and they're tired.
The single person,
on the other hand,
while they have work
and everything else
like married people,
they actually do have
lots of time
on their hands.
They have no first
things to organise,
no nappies to be changing
if there's children
in the married life.
You have no spouse
to look after.
There's no school runs
to be done,
no big meals to prepare,
no big shots to be done.
There's no big decision-making
process to have
with your spouse
that usually ends up
in a big mad argument.
You can go
whenever you like
and you can come home
whenever you like.
You can go off
for a whole week
and nobody's going
to say anything.
Single people
are free
to serve.
Now my challenge
to single people
is this.
We spoke a lot
of challenges
to the married people
last week.
Single people,
wake up,
whatever age you are.
Hmm?
Are you using
your singleness well?
Am I preoccupied
with wanting sex
or am I willing
to be a slave
to Christ?
Ask yourself,
what do you spend
your time thinking about?
Pursuing that relationship?
Running after that boy?
Running after that girl?
Or am I pursuing
the kingdom of God?
Am I more interested
in spending time
with my girlfriend,
boyfriend,
than actually serving
the church?
Sorry,
I can't do anything.
I've got to go
to the cinema tonight.
Verse 35.
I am saying this
for your own good,
not to restrict you,
but that you may live
in a right way
in undivided devotion
to the Lord.
In my preparation,
I came across this quote.
Singleness glorifies God
by communicating the message
that love and devotion
to Christ is primal.
It says to a watching world,
God is enough.
God is sufficient.
God is better than anyone else
or any singer.
God is worth all the pain
of serving Jesus.
So, he's very practical.
He's very clear.
And he's saying
that the single life,
yes, it's a gift from God,
and his primary purpose
is to be a life
dedicated,
undivided devotion
to serving God
and not chasing
things of this world.
But he goes on also
to talk about
a life of sexual purity.
And we go back
to the question
that we raised earlier.
You say,
Johnny,
I was a single
when I became a Christian.
Does that mean
that I have to stay
as I am?
That I should remain
in the situation
that God told me to?
Can I never get married?
What if I don't feel
gifted to be changed?
Well,
whatever your gift is,
this passage is very clear
to say that our gift
may change.
But the emphasis,
if our gift is changing,
the emphasis must be
on sexual purity.
Look at verse 8,
chapter 7.
Now,
to the unmarried
and to the widows,
I say this.
It is good for them
to stay unmarried
as I am,
for the very reasons
that we've just looked at.
They are free from concern
and able to give their life
completely to the Lord.
But,
he's practical,
he's real.
But,
if they cannot control themselves,
they should marry.
for it is pressure
to marry,
then to burn,
which is passion.
Now,
the pressures
for single people
are absolutely huge.
It is big at this time
and it is big today.
I think there are two major pressures
that single people
have to live with.
There is the passion pressure,
as I call it here
in verse 9,
which comes from the inside.
If our normal
and natural
biological development
that when boys
see girl
and girls see boy,
there's something
going on inside.
There's the passion pressure.
Then there's the peer pressure,
which comes from the outside,
which says,
if you want to be normal,
if you're going to fit in
with the rest of the society,
you have to be
in a sexual relationship.
And these are the pressures
that are crowding in
on young people,
on single people.
And Christians,
within that context,
it's important,
he's saying,
that you conduct yourself rightly,
that you live with impurity.
And it seems to me
that there are simply
two options
for those who are single.
The first
is get married.
Look at verse 36.
If anyone thinks
they are acting
improperly
towards the virgin,
he is engaged to.
And if she is
getting on in years,
meaning beyond the years
of childbirth,
if she's getting on in years
and feels
he ought to marry,
he should do
as he wants.
He's not sinning.
They should get married.
Now I think you know
by now that
I'm not in favour
of long-term relationships.
she can come back
to me on all of this
afterwards.
But I don't think
it's a good thing
and here's the reason why.
Verse 36
is a good reason.
In fact,
I don't think
that you should be
starting any relationship
with anybody
unless
you think
you're going to be
marrying that person.
I think we have
all around the wrong way.
People just
join their relationships
like a union.
It's just not
healthy.
It's not good for them.
Let me divert
a minute.
Keep your finger there
in 1 Corinthians 7
and go to
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
1 Timothy
chapter 5.
So this is
older Paul
talking to
young man
single man
Timothy.
1 Timothy
We'll pick it up
at verse 1
of chapter 5.
1 Timothy
do not rebuke
an older man
harshly
but exhort him
as if he were
your father
1 Timothy
2 Timothy
treat younger
men
as your own
brother
1 Timothy
3 Timothy
treat older
women
as you would
your own
mother
2 Timothy
And Timothy, treat younger women as your sister with absolute purity.
Now I think this is an excellent verse for telling us how single people should behave in a relationship and how they should treat each other.
Let's just think about it. If you are single man or single darling and you have somebody who you are attracted to, are you going to start that relationship?
How are you going to behave in that relationship? Well here's your guideline. You treat them as your sister.
Would you sleep with your sister? Hmm? I'm not being rude, I'm being very practical and rude.
Would you French kiss your sister? You wouldn't would you? Treat younger women as sisters.
The relationship that you are in, treat them with absolute purity.
And the reverse is also true for those who are women. If you are attracted to a guy.
How are you going to treat them? How are you going to behave with them?
Are you going to, would you flirt with your brother? Would you dress provocatively for your brother?
Well you wouldn't. Well then don't do it to other young men. Treat them with absolute purity.
And I think that's the message that Paul is seeking to communicate in 1 Corinthians 7.
From verse 36. If you are acting improperly, there shouldn't be any improper behaviour in a relationship.
There is a place for sexual expression. There is a place for what we have just talked about.
But it is only within the context of marriage. And if you cannot control yourself and if you can't live your relationship properly,
would you hurry up and get married and live properly?
And if you do choose to get married, let me say this. Here are three C's that I think will be helpful.
It's not here in the passage, but I think nonetheless it's helpful.
Make sure that the person you marry is a Christian.
In fact, actually, if you do look at chapter 7 verse 39.
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes.
But he must be long to the Lord.
So make sure the person that you are going to marry is a Christian.
Don't entertain the whole idea of, well I'll just get engaged with them, I'll just go out with them,
and then hopefully they'll become a father of Jesus in time and everything will work out fine.
Don't do it. You're heading down the road of destruction and a time of great difficulty.
Sometimes it does happen.
And for some, for other reasons, you may find that you are in a relationship
and you are the only Christian within the relationship, within the marriage.
Well, God is gracious in those times.
He does know.
Look at verse 12.
Chapter 7 verse 12.
And to the rest I say this, I, not the Lord.
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer, and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
Verse 16.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?
Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
So if you are in a married relationship and one is not a believer, God is gracious and through that marriage,
the other one may become a Christian.
But the answer here is, make sure the person you marry is a Christian.
But not only should they be a Christian, make sure that they are also Christ-centred.
Many people are Christians but they are lacking in their desire to serve God.
Perhaps they are brand new Christians, maybe they are just immature.
Maybe they just enjoy playing on the play station at the time.
Don't lower your standards.
Raise your standards.
Marry those who have an undivided devotion to the Lord.
Those who you are going to work with, where you can be in a church together,
and serve the Lord wholeheartedly together.
Don't lower your standards.
And it's not just about spiritual matters.
It's also to be very practical.
There's no point in marrying somebody who just doesn't get on with.
They've got to be compatible, haven't they?
Get on with them.
Similar likes to their own friends.
Being able to talk to each other, relate and so on.
But I think those GCs are a good guide in when we are seeking to get married.
So if marriage is for you, and you find yourself single at this time, God is not going to make it hard for you.
He doesn't aim to make life complicated.
He is the giver of all gifts.
And he will do exactly the same if he is going to provide you.
He will do it in your time.
So that's option one.
Get married.
The other option, and it's obvious as it may sound, is in verse 37.
Remain single.
Verse 37.
But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will.
In other words, he's not struggling with the issues of verse 9.
He's under control.
Who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will.
And who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin, this man also does the right thing.
Self-control is the calling of every Christian, and self-control is required if we are to remain single.
Being single doesn't give us license to indulge in sexual promiscuity and be with whoever we want.
And as we've said, singleness isn't for everyone, and nor is marriage.
But if God has called you to a single life, he will equip you, and he will enable you to live a pure life.
And if you've given yourself to the Lord in undivided devotion, he will see to it that he will care for you, that he will provide for you, and that he will keep you.
So two options.
But let's remember that our status can, and very often will, change.
If you are single today, maybe, you will be married next to you.
If you are married today, maybe, you will be single next year.
None of us knows what the year lies ahead.
But whatever our status is, God's gift is always right and always good, and we should celebrate it, and we should live wholeheartedly within that status,
until time changes us, or until God should choose something different.
Verse 38.
So then, he who's married the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better, simply because they can give their life wholeheartedly to the Lord.
But I want to finish with this, and that is family support.
The church is described as a family.
We talked about marriage last week, singleness, simply.
It's a family.
Where everybody's status is different.
Some people are married within the church family, some are unmarried.
Some have children, some can't have children, some would love to have children, and that's going to be hard.
Some may have children.
Some may have a Christian spouse, some might not.
Some are single by choice, others are single because it just doesn't happen.
Some may be separated, some their spouse may be done.
They can't do things.
But if they need to be taken care of them, they're in a church family.
They can't do things.
The point is that within the church family we're all at different stages and we all need to take responsibility to care, support, and love each other.
And so I want to throw this out to the married people, to the families who are here.
It's going to be great to go home today, isn't it? To your house, have a nice lunch together.
Why want to include others into your family life? Invite people for meals?
What about holidays? What about trip-bites?
Families, extend your boundaries and support those who are not nice.
Now I'm not saying this because it doesn't happen within the life of this church. It does happen.
So I just want to encourage them to keep on doing it and to do so more and more.
Single people, as we said, are under huge pressure in this life.
So they need a place to develop good, healthy and pure relationships within the context of a church family.
Where people are caring for and looking after.
So if you're single, it's God's gift. Will it last forever? I don't know.
But if you are single, give your life in service to God and live your life with sexual purity.
And church family, support one another every day. Let's pray.
Amen.
Our Father God, we thank you so much for your word to us.
We thank you for the greatest gift of all that we belong to you.
And that you love us and care for us and provide for us.
Thank you for the greatest gift of all that we are in the world.
Thank you that one day we are going to be in the new creation where we will have that eternal marriage.
We will be with Christ forever and forever.
Help us to keep our focus on what is good and right and pure.
We pray for every single person represented here.
That you would protect them in their lives, keep them pure.
Help them to conduct their relationships wisely.
Help them to live rightly.
For those who are considering marriage, give them your wisdom.
Provide the right spot that they may serve the Lord with undivided devotion.
We pray that you will watch over each and every one of us.
That we may care of you.
To watch.
In the name of Jesus.
Amen.
Well, I do encourage you to talk through any of the questions and the questions afterwards.
So we can do that over here.
We're going to sing one last song.
Thank you.