WEBVTT

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 Good morning, Watermark.

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 My name is Chris.

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 I help out with community groups here at Watermark.

00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:12.540
 Over the last three weeks or so,

00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:16.199
 we've been looking at a series in the book of James.

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 And I like to think of James as a bit like open heart surgery.

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 And James is a skillful surgeon,

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 but he doesn't use a scalpel to deal with the surgery.

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 It seems like at times he gets a pneumatic drill

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 and is kind of drilling away at the hardness in our heart.

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 And sometimes it's quite intense.

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 Sometimes it's painful.

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 But actually the result is always something of a transformation in our heart.

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 It's to do us good.

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 It's to change us and to make us more as God wants us to be.

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 So we've been looking at, over the last three weeks,

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 at how our actions and what we do reveals our heart.

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 So we've looked at how we treat God's word reveals our heart.

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 We've looked at how when we love the poor or how we don't,

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 that reveals our heart.

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 We've looked at the words that we use,

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 how they reveal our heart.

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 And today we're going to look at the issue of conflict.

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 Okay?

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 How conflict reveals our heart.

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 Now just a couple of things to introduce it with.

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 Conflict is inevitable.

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 If you spend enough time with somebody,

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 it doesn't matter whether it's at work,

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 whether it's in a marriage,

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 whether it's even on the MTR,

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 if you spend enough time with people,

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 sooner or later,

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 someone is going to rub you up the wrong way.

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 Sooner or later,

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 there is going to be conflict.

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 You just have to look,

00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:03.159
 this past week,

00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.920
 you've seen the terrible killings that have happened.

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 You look in the Dayu Islands.

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 Everywhere there is conflict.

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 Because when you get two or more sinful,

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 broken people together,

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 it's like two pieces of flint,

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 which you just keep rubbing them together,

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 and sooner or later,

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 there will be a spark.

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 It's the reality of living in a sinful,

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 broken,

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 fallen world.

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 Even in churches,

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 we think churches should be the wonderful places

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 where we love each other,

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 and they should,

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 but sooner or later,

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 there will be conflict.

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 Now,

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 we often don't like to hear that,

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 because we want to have protection.

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 Some of us may have been hurt.

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 Some of us may know the pain of conflict.

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 And yet,

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 conflict is a reality.

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 It shouldn't actually shock us.

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 In one sense,

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 it's not the end of the world,

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 if there is conflict.

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 conflict.

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 Because maybe,

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 if we never have conflict,

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 maybe it's our relationships are actually superficial.

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 Maybe our relationships aren't deep enough.

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 Because conflict comes out of when we are rubbing up against each other in life.

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 But that may not be very comforting to you.

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 You may be thinking,

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 oh, great.

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 That sounds wonderful.

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 Thank you.

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 You've really made my day, Chris.

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 But here's the second thing we need to remember,

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 is conflict,

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 if we handle it well,

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 can be an amazing blessing.

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 It can be used,

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 redemptively,

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 by God,

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 to deepen relationships.

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 And you know that,

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 if you've been in a relationship,

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 where you've actually worked through conflict,

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 and come out the other side,

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 you know it actually deepens,

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 the love between you.

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 Because now,

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 you're under no illusions,

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 okay,

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 you know the other person is completely messed up.

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 You can see their faults,

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 and yet,

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 you can keep on loving them,

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 knowing full well,

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 of some of what they're like.

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 That's actually the love that Jesus has for us,

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 knowing full well what we're like,

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 and yet,

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 he just loves us.

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 And that's the kind of church,

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 God wants to make,

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 where there will be conflict,

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 but if we handle it well,

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 it can deepen our relationships.

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 It can grow us,

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 to actually learn to love one another,

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 better,

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 and more as Jesus wants us to.

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 So,

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 I'm going to look at three,

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 three main points,

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 today.

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 The first is,

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 three types of conflict.

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 The second is,

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 what causes conflict.

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 And the third is,

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 how to deal with conflict.

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 Okay.

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 If you look,

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 in your passage,

00:04:49.860 --> 00:04:51.099
 at James 4,

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 verse 1,

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 it says,

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 what causes,

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 fights,

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 and quarrels,

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 among you?

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 That word,

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 those words,

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 fights,

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 and quarrels,

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 are literally,

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 wars,

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 and fights.

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 Now,

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 I don't know about you,

00:05:04.840 --> 00:05:05.920
 but I personally,

00:05:05.920 --> 00:05:08.079
 haven't been in many wars recently.

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 And I think of fights,

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 as kind of,

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 what happens,

00:05:11.819 --> 00:05:12.980
 at two o'clock in the morning,

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 after two guys,

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 have just been drinking,

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 a bit too much,

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 and they're punching,

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 each other's lights out.

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 That's my view,

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 of wars,

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 and fights.

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 But I think,

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 sometimes,

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 that may be,

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 too narrow,

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 a definition.

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 I think,

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 all of us,

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 myself included,

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 engage in warfare,

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 at times.

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 So,

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 here's three types,

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 that I've thought of.

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 I'm sure there are many more,

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 but for time's sake,

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 we'll just look at three.

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 The first kind,

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 of warfare,

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 I like to call,

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 the silent war,

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 or the cold war.

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 What I mean by this is,

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 on the surface,

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 everything kind of,

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 looks good.

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 You're being pleasant,

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 to each other.

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 You smile,

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 at each other.

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 You say the right thing,

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 to each other.

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 But underneath,

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 there's a seething indifference.

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 There's a bubbling volcano,

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 going on.

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 You may be in one room,

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 the other person's,

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 in the other room,

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 and your thoughts,

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 are going round,

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 and round,

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 and round,

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 and you're just imagining,

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 what you would like to say,

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 to the other person,

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 what you'd like to do,

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 to the other person,

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 if only you were,

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 bold enough,

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 to do it.

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 But then,

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 when you see each other,

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 it's like,

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 oh hi,

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 nice to see you.

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 But underneath,

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 there is tension.

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 There's maybe,

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 you try and keep the peace,

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 but you know,

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 there's a frosty relationship.

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 You're not going out of your way,

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 to love that person.

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 You're going out of that way,

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 your way to avoid that person.

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 That's the first kind of conflict,

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 silent,

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 cold war.

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 The second kind of conflict,

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 I like to think about,

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 is,

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 is what I call,

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 the hand grenade war.

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 Okay,

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 what I mean by this is,

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 you know,

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 things are going along okay,

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 and then suddenly,

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 you lob in,

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 a sarcastic comment,

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 a cynical remark,

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 and a cutting tone,

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 into,

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 into the situation.

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 It may be,

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 I suppose you expect me,

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 to do that,

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 do you?

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 Typical.

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 Have you seen,

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 what you've done to me?

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 And there you go.

00:07:16.939 --> 00:07:17.699
 Hand grenade.

00:07:18.460 --> 00:07:19.060
 But sometimes,

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 we don't do it directly,

00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:20.699
 sometimes we,

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 we kind of do a sneak attack,

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 we kind of do the attack,

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 by the back door.

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 We,

00:07:24.620 --> 00:07:25.300
 we do the,

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 let's turn to somebody else,

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 and tell them,

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 okay,

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 about this person.

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 So we,

00:07:30.379 --> 00:07:32.000
 we make the cynical remarks.

00:07:32.379 --> 00:07:33.040
 Have you seen,

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 what she did to me?

00:07:34.939 --> 00:07:35.900
 Do you know Chris,

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 you know how irresponsible,

00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:37.860
 he is?

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 He hasn't said,

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 a word,

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 a good word to me,

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 in 10 years.

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 And so,

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 we go to the other person,

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 but actually,

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 whew,

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 the hand grenade is going over.

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 That's the second kind of war.

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 The third kind of war,

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 I like to think about,

00:07:52.899 --> 00:07:53.540
 is what I call,

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 the all out war.

00:07:55.199 --> 00:07:55.420
 Okay,

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 the war has kind of,

00:07:56.740 --> 00:07:58.100
 escalated now,

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 to,

00:07:58.719 --> 00:07:59.540
 to new heights.

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 It's,

00:08:00.259 --> 00:08:00.620
 it's,

00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:02.560
 it's the trading insults,

00:08:02.620 --> 00:08:03.680
 it's the blame game,

00:08:04.100 --> 00:08:04.659
 it's the,

00:08:04.719 --> 00:08:06.019
 it's the cheap socks,

00:08:06.019 --> 00:08:07.319
 you're totally insensitive,

00:08:07.459 --> 00:08:08.459
 after all these years,

00:08:08.500 --> 00:08:09.500
 of what I've done for you,

00:08:09.659 --> 00:08:10.819
 and you've given me nothing.

00:08:11.219 --> 00:08:11.439
 Okay,

00:08:11.779 --> 00:08:12.120
 it's,

00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:13.420
 it's the slamming of the door,

00:08:13.719 --> 00:08:15.180
 it's the trying to undermine,

00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:16.560
 the person in front of others.

00:08:16.699 --> 00:08:17.339
 Do you know what I mean?

00:08:19.099 --> 00:08:19.360
 Now,

00:08:19.420 --> 00:08:20.399
 I'm sure none of you,

00:08:20.740 --> 00:08:22.120
 have ever engaged,

00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:23.120
 in any of those.

00:08:23.939 --> 00:08:24.560
 But you know,

00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:25.680
 I'm not a particularly,

00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:26.500
 hot tempered,

00:08:26.500 --> 00:08:27.379
 or angry guy,

00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:28.980
 but actually,

00:08:29.039 --> 00:08:29.639
 I've engaged,

00:08:29.719 --> 00:08:30.699
 in all of those things.

00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:32.559
 Sometimes quite regularly.

00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:35.679
 So,

00:08:36.200 --> 00:08:36.720
 why,

00:08:36.860 --> 00:08:37.600
 do we do this?

00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:38.399
 Here's the second point.

00:08:38.500 --> 00:08:39.480
 What causes,

00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:40.440
 arguments?

00:08:40.560 --> 00:08:42.100
 Why do we enter in these warfare,

00:08:42.340 --> 00:08:43.580
 these conflict situations?

00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:45.120
 I mean,

00:08:45.180 --> 00:08:45.620
 for example,

00:08:45.820 --> 00:08:47.279
 you take the Dayu Islands,

00:08:47.500 --> 00:08:47.720
 okay?

00:08:48.060 --> 00:08:49.200
 They're an insignificant,

00:08:49.560 --> 00:08:50.600
 little piece of rock,

00:08:50.700 --> 00:08:52.019
 out in the middle of an ocean,

00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:53.779
 which for a long period of time,

00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:55.220
 no one has bothered about.

00:08:55.980 --> 00:08:56.940
 But suddenly,

00:08:57.940 --> 00:08:59.560
 everyone's bothered about it.

00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:01.680
 People are on the verge of war,

00:09:01.680 --> 00:09:02.600
 about it.

00:09:02.600 --> 00:09:03.000
 Why?

00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:04.460
 Well,

00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:05.680
 if you look in James,

00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:08.360
 he kind of deals with this question.

00:09:08.600 --> 00:09:09.779
 Verse one.

00:09:10.540 --> 00:09:12.720
 What causes fights and quarrels among you?

00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:16.080
 Don't they come from your desires,

00:09:16.259 --> 00:09:17.320
 that battle within you?

00:09:17.960 --> 00:09:18.680
 You desire,

00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:20.379
 but you do not have,

00:09:20.620 --> 00:09:21.340
 so you kill.

00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:22.300
 You covet,

00:09:22.460 --> 00:09:24.240
 but you cannot get what you want,

00:09:24.779 --> 00:09:26.480
 so you quarrel and fight.

00:09:28.259 --> 00:09:29.600
 Why do we have arguments?

00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:29.960
 Well,

00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:30.540
 James says,

00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:31.240
 quite simply,

00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:34.080
 they come from desires within us.

00:09:35.980 --> 00:09:36.200
 Now,

00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:37.580
 this word desires,

00:09:37.779 --> 00:09:39.080
 is actually a word hedone,

00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:41.480
 where we get the word hedonistic from.

00:09:41.879 --> 00:09:43.600
 It actually really means pleasures.

00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:45.419
 Now,

00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:45.919
 and notice,

00:09:46.039 --> 00:09:48.580
 James doesn't say evil desires here.

00:09:49.620 --> 00:09:50.680
 He doesn't say evil desires.

00:09:50.779 --> 00:09:51.000
 In fact,

00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:51.639
 pleasure,

00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:53.100
 pleasure's not wrong,

00:09:53.580 --> 00:09:53.860
 okay?

00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:55.000
 In the Garden of Eden,

00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:57.340
 God gives trees,

00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.840
 which he says are pleasing to the eye,

00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:00.039
 and are good for food.

00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:00.620
 He says,

00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:01.620
 pleasure is good,

00:10:02.319 --> 00:10:02.679
 okay?

00:10:03.079 --> 00:10:03.939
 Pleasure is good.

00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:06.519
 So,

00:10:06.679 --> 00:10:07.679
 what's going on here?

00:10:08.719 --> 00:10:09.039
 Well,

00:10:09.079 --> 00:10:10.059
 it seems that,

00:10:10.500 --> 00:10:12.519
 it's not just the fact that they have a desire,

00:10:13.259 --> 00:10:16.500
 but their desire has become too strong.

00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:21.100
 maybe the people that he's talking to are wanting positions of influence.

00:10:21.659 --> 00:10:23.259
 Maybe they're wanting to be thought well of.

00:10:23.620 --> 00:10:29.080
 Maybe they're wanting to have a position where they can say and speak,

00:10:29.299 --> 00:10:30.919
 and everybody looks at them and says,

00:10:31.019 --> 00:10:31.279
 wow,

00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:32.080
 you're great,

00:10:32.139 --> 00:10:32.500
 aren't you?

00:10:32.500 --> 00:10:35.980
 But James says,

00:10:36.779 --> 00:10:38.980
 you covet,

00:10:39.419 --> 00:10:40.559
 you desire something,

00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:42.519
 but you can't get it.

00:10:43.100 --> 00:10:44.960
 That's why you're fighting.

00:10:45.720 --> 00:10:45.899
 So,

00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:47.340
 so all arguments,

00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.679
 all conflicts come down to this.

00:10:50.259 --> 00:10:51.240
 You want something,

00:10:51.820 --> 00:10:53.440
 but you can't get it.

00:10:53.899 --> 00:10:55.039
 You want something,

00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:56.679
 but you can't get it.

00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:57.659
 So you get angry.

00:10:57.979 --> 00:10:58.779
 So you get frustrated.

00:10:59.059 --> 00:11:00.399
 So you go into those wars.

00:11:02.039 --> 00:11:02.319
 Now,

00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:03.779
 that sounds nice and simple,

00:11:03.839 --> 00:11:04.159
 doesn't it?

00:11:04.239 --> 00:11:04.379
 Okay?

00:11:04.959 --> 00:11:05.839
 For example,

00:11:06.479 --> 00:11:11.199
 I want you to fold your clothes and put them in the drawer.

00:11:11.659 --> 00:11:12.819
 You didn't do it,

00:11:13.219 --> 00:11:14.639
 so I get angry at you,

00:11:14.919 --> 00:11:17.579
 and I shout until you put the clothes in the drawer.

00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:18.259
 Okay?

00:11:18.259 --> 00:11:19.419
 What do I want?

00:11:19.659 --> 00:11:22.439
 I want you to put the clothes in the drawer.

00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:23.019
 Okay?

00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:24.639
 That's the reason why we get angry.

00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:26.759
 But,

00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:28.460
 if I see,

00:11:28.659 --> 00:11:32.000
 if I see a pile of clothes like crumpled shirts on the floor,

00:11:32.679 --> 00:11:36.019
 I don't suddenly go into a steaming rage and think,

00:11:36.319 --> 00:11:38.039
 why are the clothes on the floor?

00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:41.080
 I probably don't even notice that the clothes are on the floor.

00:11:42.379 --> 00:11:44.220
 So why does one person get angry,

00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:46.860
 and another person doesn't?

00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:49.899
 It's because of our desires.

00:11:50.500 --> 00:11:51.019
 And maybe,

00:11:51.419 --> 00:11:54.519
 when it gets to the point of getting frustrated and getting angry,

00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:57.659
 it's no longer about the clothes.

00:11:58.539 --> 00:12:01.379
 It's actually about a deeper desire that I have.

00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:04.100
 Maybe it's a desire to be respected.

00:12:05.319 --> 00:12:07.799
 Maybe it's a desire for control.

00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:09.199
 I want you to do what I say,

00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:10.460
 and you didn't do what I say,

00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:12.120
 and so now it's out of control,

00:12:12.319 --> 00:12:13.600
 and now I've got to get angry.

00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:15.899
 It's about our desires.

00:12:16.459 --> 00:12:18.919
 But our desires have got too strong.

00:12:19.019 --> 00:12:19.500
 It's become,

00:12:19.699 --> 00:12:19.959
 rather than,

00:12:20.059 --> 00:12:20.740
 I want this,

00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:21.220
 it's,

00:12:21.299 --> 00:12:22.500
 I must have this.

00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:23.579
 I mean,

00:12:23.639 --> 00:12:25.340
 think of the Dayu Islands again.

00:12:26.259 --> 00:12:27.299
 What do they want?

00:12:28.860 --> 00:12:29.939
 What do people want there?

00:12:30.079 --> 00:12:31.399
 Do they just want the piece of rock?

00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:31.759
 Well,

00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:33.659
 I don't think that's the issue.

00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:34.879
 Maybe you say,

00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:35.019
 oh,

00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:35.860
 they want the resources.

00:12:36.759 --> 00:12:36.939
 Yeah,

00:12:37.019 --> 00:12:38.399
 but they could share out the resources.

00:12:39.439 --> 00:12:40.439
 What do they really want?

00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:41.360
 It's about power.

00:12:41.879 --> 00:12:42.960
 It's about control.

00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:44.840
 It's about reputation.

00:12:45.419 --> 00:12:47.720
 That's the real battle that's going on.

00:12:48.419 --> 00:12:49.519
 And you can see,

00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:51.819
 when our desires have become too strong,

00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:53.059
 when I start getting angry,

00:12:53.379 --> 00:12:54.659
 I start getting frustrated,

00:12:54.659 --> 00:12:56.500
 I start getting annoyed.

00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:02.539
 So the next thing that Job,

00:13:02.839 --> 00:13:04.799
 that James comes on to talk about,

00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:05.219
 he says,

00:13:06.699 --> 00:13:07.779
 you do not have,

00:13:08.100 --> 00:13:08.839
 this is verse two,

00:13:09.339 --> 00:13:12.360
 because you do not ask God.

00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:13.679
 When you do ask,

00:13:13.779 --> 00:13:14.500
 you don't receive,

00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:17.559
 because you ask with wrong motives.

00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:20.759
 What's James talking about here?

00:13:21.779 --> 00:13:23.159
 James is saying that actually,

00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.699
 the fruit of your relationships here,

00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:27.179
 is evidence,

00:13:27.779 --> 00:13:29.039
 of what's going on,

00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:30.879
 with your relationship with God.

00:13:31.399 --> 00:13:33.039
 So if there's conflict here,

00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.360
 it's an indication of something wrong,

00:13:35.500 --> 00:13:37.539
 with your relationship with God.

00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:40.639
 What he's saying is,

00:13:41.539 --> 00:13:43.139
 you're trying to get what you want,

00:13:43.379 --> 00:13:44.459
 in your own way.

00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:46.199
 And you're not even coming to God,

00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:46.899
 for what you want.

00:13:47.159 --> 00:13:48.600
 You want to get it your way,

00:13:48.839 --> 00:13:50.519
 in the way that you think you can have it.

00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:54.179
 And then even if you do come to pray to God,

00:13:55.139 --> 00:13:56.860
 it's still all about you.

00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.980
 It's still all about getting what you want,

00:13:59.079 --> 00:13:59.919
 just for yourself.

00:14:00.579 --> 00:14:01.460
 That's what he's saying,

00:14:01.539 --> 00:14:03.019
 is you're just relying on yourself.

00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:04.519
 That's why you're getting angry, guys.

00:14:04.939 --> 00:14:06.179
 That's why you're in conflict,

00:14:06.259 --> 00:14:07.519
 because it's all about you.

00:14:09.579 --> 00:14:09.919
 Now,

00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:11.960
 James then kind of,

00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:14.000
 kind of ramps it up a bit,

00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:14.919
 and then he says,

00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:18.340
 you adulterous people.

00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:19.799
 Now,

00:14:20.019 --> 00:14:21.860
 I don't think James is the kind of person,

00:14:21.860 --> 00:14:23.200
 I'd invite to a dinner party.

00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:23.580
 You know,

00:14:23.639 --> 00:14:24.860
 he'd mess the whole thing up.

00:14:24.940 --> 00:14:25.419
 He'd come in,

00:14:25.480 --> 00:14:25.720
 and like,

00:14:25.779 --> 00:14:26.659
 you're there with your parents,

00:14:26.779 --> 00:14:27.240
 and he's like,

00:14:27.700 --> 00:14:28.659
 you adulterous.

00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:29.279
 I mean,

00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:31.500
 it's not a great EQ.

00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:32.379
 Okay.

00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:33.360
 But,

00:14:33.620 --> 00:14:34.279
 but he's got,

00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:35.480
 he's got a point here,

00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:36.940
 which is he's saying,

00:14:37.779 --> 00:14:40.159
 God wants you for himself.

00:14:41.259 --> 00:14:42.720
 God wants you for himself.

00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:46.080
 He wants you to place all your desires,

00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:47.100
 whether it's power,

00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:47.840
 whether it's control,

00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:48.899
 whether it's reputation,

00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:50.360
 whether it's someone to listen to you,

00:14:50.740 --> 00:14:53.460
 whether it's getting the job you want.

00:14:53.620 --> 00:14:55.800
 He wants you to place all those things in his hands,

00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:57.820
 and to trust him with those things.

00:14:59.340 --> 00:15:01.000
 But what he's saying here is,

00:15:01.620 --> 00:15:04.040
 he's taking the language of adultery,

00:15:04.040 --> 00:15:06.259
 which is taken from the Old Testament,

00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:10.340
 where Israel will continually

00:15:10.340 --> 00:15:13.560
 follow other gods.

00:15:13.660 --> 00:15:15.700
 They were meant to be for God's eyes only.

00:15:15.800 --> 00:15:17.399
 They were meant to be in relationship with God,

00:15:17.500 --> 00:15:18.259
 to love him,

00:15:18.379 --> 00:15:19.600
 but instead they would go off

00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:21.340
 and follow all kinds of other idols.

00:15:21.780 --> 00:15:23.120
 And there's one particular story,

00:15:23.379 --> 00:15:24.420
 which illustrates this.

00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:25.580
 It's the story of Hosea.

00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:27.280
 In Hosea,

00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.240
 God tells this prophet Hosea

00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:33.259
 to take what is called an adulterous wife.

00:15:33.259 --> 00:15:36.840
 And he marries her,

00:15:37.539 --> 00:15:39.379
 and then no sooner are they married,

00:15:39.460 --> 00:15:42.159
 then she's going off with other guys.

00:15:42.460 --> 00:15:44.100
 As soon as there's another guy comes home,

00:15:44.220 --> 00:15:46.200
 she's off wandering off with him.

00:15:46.419 --> 00:15:47.860
 She even has children with them.

00:15:48.139 --> 00:15:51.059
 But then Hosea keeps bringing her back,

00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:52.340
 forgiving her,

00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:54.000
 welcoming her back in the home.

00:15:54.019 --> 00:15:55.059
 And then she goes off again,

00:15:55.419 --> 00:15:56.000
 and Hosea,

00:15:56.259 --> 00:15:58.279
 God calls Hosea to bring her back again.

00:15:59.220 --> 00:16:00.839
 And Hosea is continually faithful,

00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:03.740
 and she is continually unfaithful.

00:16:05.939 --> 00:16:09.399
 And James is actually saying to the people here,

00:16:09.879 --> 00:16:11.659
 you're just like Israel was.

00:16:12.179 --> 00:16:14.720
 You're just like that wife was.

00:16:15.419 --> 00:16:19.779
 You're going off with all kinds of other desires.

00:16:19.779 --> 00:16:22.100
 You're wanting to have your desires in other places

00:16:22.100 --> 00:16:22.879
 rather than in me.

00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:26.759
 Now, I'm going to get married in July,

00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:31.220
 and imagine during the vows,

00:16:31.379 --> 00:16:31.879
 you know, they say,

00:16:31.960 --> 00:16:33.799
 oh, do you take Fiona to be your wife?

00:16:33.980 --> 00:16:36.240
 And I say, yes, I do.

00:16:36.740 --> 00:16:38.620
 But just over at the back,

00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:39.419
 there's Jackie,

00:16:39.939 --> 00:16:42.340
 and I've got her on Tuesday night.

00:16:42.539 --> 00:16:44.580
 And then there's Sylvie,

00:16:44.679 --> 00:16:45.939
 and she's Wednesday night.

00:16:45.939 --> 00:16:48.080
 And oh, yeah.

00:16:48.379 --> 00:16:50.519
 And now Agatha's at home now with me.

00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.120
 Now, what are you going to be thinking?

00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:57.000
 What kind of a husband am I?

00:17:00.019 --> 00:17:01.580
 But James is saying,

00:17:01.980 --> 00:17:03.899
 that's what you're doing.

00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:05.759
 When you're going into conflict,

00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:06.740
 that's what you're doing.

00:17:08.759 --> 00:17:12.720
 And what are the warning signs of the spiritual adultery?

00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:17.140
 The warning signs are when you're getting frustrated,

00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:19.200
 when you're getting angry,

00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:21.980
 when you're getting irritated with someone

00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:23.360
 and impatient with someone,

00:17:23.580 --> 00:17:25.200
 that's the flashing red light.

00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:27.019
 That's the signal to you,

00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:28.840
 spiritual adultery alert.

00:17:29.819 --> 00:17:32.360
 That's the overactive desire alert.

00:17:32.620 --> 00:17:34.519
 That's I want something more than God alert.

00:17:36.580 --> 00:17:36.779
 Yeah?

00:17:36.860 --> 00:17:37.900
 Because what does God want?

00:17:37.900 --> 00:17:39.799
 In verse 17 of chapter 3,

00:17:39.900 --> 00:17:40.140
 it says,

00:17:40.360 --> 00:17:41.700
 God wants you to be peace-loving,

00:17:42.380 --> 00:17:43.059
 considerate,

00:17:43.539 --> 00:17:44.140
 submissive.

00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:47.240
 Submissive means not insisting on having your own way.

00:17:47.240 --> 00:17:48.960
 full of mercy,

00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:49.700
 good fruit,

00:17:49.900 --> 00:17:50.519
 impartial,

00:17:50.660 --> 00:17:51.160
 and sincere.

00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:52.519
 And yet,

00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:54.019
 when we're getting angry and frustrated,

00:17:54.539 --> 00:17:55.240
 we're saying,

00:17:55.640 --> 00:17:57.259
 I want what I want.

00:17:57.819 --> 00:18:00.259
 I want something else other than what you want, God.

00:18:01.700 --> 00:18:02.220
 Now,

00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:04.319
 for me,

00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:05.920
 this sometimes works out when,

00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:07.220
 I don't know,

00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:08.779
 I'm walking along the road,

00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.720
 and I'm in a hurry.

00:18:11.099 --> 00:18:11.380
 Okay?

00:18:12.060 --> 00:18:13.180
 I've got to get somewhere.

00:18:13.600 --> 00:18:14.980
 And then right in front of me

00:18:14.980 --> 00:18:17.820
 is the guy who's obviously training

00:18:17.820 --> 00:18:19.880
 for the world record in slow walking.

00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:22.200
 And,

00:18:22.320 --> 00:18:22.900
 and,

00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:24.880
 and I'm there behind him,

00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:26.640
 and I'm starting to do this little dance,

00:18:26.980 --> 00:18:28.140
 trying to get past him.

00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:28.700
 But,

00:18:28.760 --> 00:18:29.220
 but he's,

00:18:29.220 --> 00:18:30.820
 he's obviously a racing driver,

00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:33.960
 because every time I try to overtake him on the inside,

00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:35.120
 he cuts me off,

00:18:35.540 --> 00:18:36.860
 and then so I weave the other way,

00:18:36.920 --> 00:18:38.320
 and then he cuts me off the other way,

00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.339
 and we're doing this little waltz for about 20 seconds,

00:18:41.579 --> 00:18:43.539
 until finally I see the opening,

00:18:43.659 --> 00:18:44.740
 and I can get past him.

00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:45.480
 And there,

00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:47.000
 my blood has been beginning to boil,

00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:48.299
 and I'm muttering to myself,

00:18:48.419 --> 00:18:48.519
 oh,

00:18:48.579 --> 00:18:49.859
 that guy needs to be locked up.

00:18:53.159 --> 00:18:53.559
 Now,

00:18:53.599 --> 00:18:55.019
 I'm sure none of you are like that.

00:18:56.579 --> 00:18:56.980
 But,

00:18:57.099 --> 00:18:57.460
 but,

00:18:57.460 --> 00:18:58.639
 but what's going on there?

00:18:58.679 --> 00:19:00.500
 What's going on inside my heart there?

00:19:01.779 --> 00:19:02.819
 What do I want?

00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:04.659
 That's the question you need to ask yourself.

00:19:04.759 --> 00:19:05.759
 What do I want?

00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:09.720
 Because what I want is,

00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:10.759
 I want to get on.

00:19:11.220 --> 00:19:13.039
 I want to get on with my life.

00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:15.759
 I want to rule my world at this moment,

00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:18.059
 and you're getting in the way of my world,

00:19:18.539 --> 00:19:18.879
 and so,

00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:21.059
 so I've got a right to get angry now,

00:19:21.099 --> 00:19:23.539
 because you're in the way of what I need to do.

00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:25.779
 You see,

00:19:25.859 --> 00:19:27.939
 it's actually become all about me,

00:19:28.419 --> 00:19:31.039
 all about me actually wanting to be the God of my world.

00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:34.639
 And James says,

00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:37.759
 you adulterous people,

00:19:38.320 --> 00:19:41.860
 don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?

00:19:42.860 --> 00:19:43.280
 Therefore,

00:19:43.420 --> 00:19:47.320
 anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:49.140
 That's verse four.

00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:49.780
 Well,

00:19:49.820 --> 00:19:50.900
 what does he mean by that?

00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:51.440
 Well,

00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:55.560
 the world is society,

00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:57.740
 which is basically just saying,

00:19:58.380 --> 00:20:00.440
 get what you want for yourself.

00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:03.380
 Do what you want for yourself.

00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:05.539
 It's all about you,

00:20:05.660 --> 00:20:06.100
 actually.

00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:08.279
 Follow your desires.

00:20:08.680 --> 00:20:10.160
 Fulfill yourself first.

00:20:10.360 --> 00:20:11.320
 Put yourself first.

00:20:11.580 --> 00:20:13.039
 That's what the world is saying,

00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:14.440
 and James is saying,

00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:16.100
 when you're doing that,

00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:17.740
 when it's all becoming about you,

00:20:17.820 --> 00:20:19.500
 when you're frustrated and angry,

00:20:19.580 --> 00:20:21.240
 and you're entering into the silent war,

00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:22.620
 the hand grenade war,

00:20:23.019 --> 00:20:24.220
 the all-out war,

00:20:24.259 --> 00:20:25.180
 when you're doing that,

00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.980
 what you're doing is you're just being like everybody else.

00:20:28.600 --> 00:20:30.539
 You're no different from anybody else.

00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:31.600
 And actually,

00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:35.259
 when you're beginning to get at war with the other person,

00:20:36.080 --> 00:20:39.960
 you're actually at war with God.

00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:44.360
 That's intense.

00:20:45.080 --> 00:20:47.560
 When you're in conflict with someone,

00:20:47.740 --> 00:20:48.740
 maybe it's all hidden,

00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:51.039
 like me with the guy in front.

00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:53.259
 When you're doing that,

00:20:53.500 --> 00:20:57.519
 you're actually engaging in warfare against God.

00:20:59.879 --> 00:21:00.759
 And so,

00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:03.019
 conflict is first and foremost

00:21:03.019 --> 00:21:04.920
 between you and God.

00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:08.000
 The fruit of that is then seen

00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.879
 in your relationships with each other.

00:21:10.859 --> 00:21:14.119
 Because a desire has grown too strong.

00:21:14.539 --> 00:21:15.519
 You want something

00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.159
 more than you want to please God

00:21:18.159 --> 00:21:19.779
 and honor Him and obey Him.

00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:22.099
 So,

00:21:22.180 --> 00:21:23.519
 we've looked at the three ways of conflict.

00:21:24.180 --> 00:21:25.019
 We've looked at

00:21:25.019 --> 00:21:27.019
 what causes conflict.

00:21:28.139 --> 00:21:29.279
 And I just want to think about

00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:30.940
 how do we deal with conflict.

00:21:31.180 --> 00:21:32.559
 There's lots of things we could say.

00:21:32.639 --> 00:21:33.980
 We can only say it briefly.

00:21:34.819 --> 00:21:34.980
 But,

00:21:35.740 --> 00:21:36.399
 chapter 6,

00:21:36.420 --> 00:21:37.279
 verse 6,

00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:39.059
 if I can find my sheet.

00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:41.720
 Verse 6 to 10

00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:42.799
 says this.

00:21:44.539 --> 00:21:46.240
 But He gives us more grace.

00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:48.119
 That is why Scripture says

00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:49.519
 God opposes the proud

00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:51.400
 but shows favor to the humble.

00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:52.160
 But,

00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:54.039
 submit yourselves then to God.

00:21:54.339 --> 00:21:55.039
 Resist the devil

00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:56.319
 and he will flee from you.

00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:58.200
 Come near to God

00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:00.599
 and He will come near to you.

00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:01.599
 Wash your hands,

00:22:01.700 --> 00:22:02.119
 you sinners,

00:22:02.460 --> 00:22:03.980
 and purify your hearts,

00:22:04.059 --> 00:22:04.740
 you double-minded.

00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:05.980
 Grieve,

00:22:06.299 --> 00:22:06.559
 mourn,

00:22:06.619 --> 00:22:07.119
 and wail.

00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:09.539
 Change your laughter to mourning

00:22:09.539 --> 00:22:11.079
 and your joy to gloom.

00:22:11.740 --> 00:22:13.299
 Humble yourselves before the Lord

00:22:13.299 --> 00:22:15.039
 and He will lift you up.

00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:17.980
 James says,

00:22:18.119 --> 00:22:18.779
 there are two ways

00:22:18.779 --> 00:22:19.920
 to deal with conflict.

00:22:20.180 --> 00:22:21.259
 The first is humility.

00:22:21.879 --> 00:22:23.500
 The second is grace.

00:22:24.440 --> 00:22:25.779
 The first is humility.

00:22:26.220 --> 00:22:27.259
 The second is grace.

00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:30.420
 Why do conflicts

00:22:30.420 --> 00:22:31.940
 not get resolved?

00:22:33.379 --> 00:22:34.639
 Why do we stay

00:22:34.639 --> 00:22:35.980
 in those states of tension?

00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:40.440
 There's always one reason.

00:22:42.120 --> 00:22:42.680
 Pride.

00:22:43.940 --> 00:22:45.720
 Pride is always the reason

00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:47.620
 why conflicts don't get resolved.

00:22:48.920 --> 00:22:50.539
 What does pride look like?

00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:52.799
 Pride looks like

00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:53.640
 when you can see

00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:55.019
 everybody else's fault.

00:22:55.860 --> 00:22:57.000
 I can see the guy

00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:57.720
 who's being slow

00:22:57.720 --> 00:22:59.000
 and annoying in front of me.

00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:00.799
 I can see everybody else's fault

00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:02.460
 but I can't see my own.

00:23:02.460 --> 00:23:05.240
 I can see everybody else's fault

00:23:05.240 --> 00:23:06.980
 but I can't see my own.

00:23:08.259 --> 00:23:09.220
 Pride is when

00:23:09.220 --> 00:23:12.340
 I make excuses for my sin

00:23:12.340 --> 00:23:15.200
 because I focus on the other person.

00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:17.380
 I feel justified in getting angry

00:23:17.380 --> 00:23:18.799
 because look what they did to me.

00:23:20.059 --> 00:23:21.279
 Look how they treated me.

00:23:21.620 --> 00:23:22.340
 Yeah, yeah, okay.

00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.740
 I know what you're saying.

00:23:25.860 --> 00:23:27.660
 I know I should be kind to them

00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:29.220
 but don't you know

00:23:29.220 --> 00:23:30.840
 how they've hurt me?

00:23:30.839 --> 00:23:31.779
 Don't you know

00:23:31.779 --> 00:23:32.919
 what they said to me yesterday?

00:23:35.019 --> 00:23:35.740
 That's what we do

00:23:35.740 --> 00:23:36.959
 and Jesus says

00:23:36.959 --> 00:23:38.279
 you know that famous passage

00:23:38.279 --> 00:23:39.859
 in Matthew 7

00:23:39.859 --> 00:23:40.500
 where he talks about

00:23:40.500 --> 00:23:41.199
 do not judge

00:23:41.199 --> 00:23:42.459
 and he talks about the speck

00:23:42.459 --> 00:23:43.819
 taking the speck

00:23:43.819 --> 00:23:44.819
 in the other person's eye

00:23:44.819 --> 00:23:46.220
 from the plank in your own.

00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:47.279
 You know that?

00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:48.519
 Well,

00:23:49.399 --> 00:23:50.619
 what Jesus says

00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:52.659
 and we sometimes get this confused

00:23:52.659 --> 00:23:54.500
 he tells you

00:23:54.500 --> 00:23:55.279
 to take the speck

00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:56.559
 out of the other person's eye.

00:23:57.899 --> 00:23:58.819
 Some people

00:23:58.819 --> 00:24:02.939
 look at verses in James

00:24:02.939 --> 00:24:03.579
 where it says

00:24:03.579 --> 00:24:05.539
 who are you to judge your neighbor

00:24:05.539 --> 00:24:07.759
 and we think

00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:08.700
 okay,

00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:10.179
 therefore I can never say

00:24:10.179 --> 00:24:11.519
 anything to anybody

00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:13.019
 to correct their behavior

00:24:13.019 --> 00:24:14.059
 and James says

00:24:14.059 --> 00:24:14.960
 no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:24:15.099 --> 00:24:16.259
 That's not what it's about.

00:24:17.559 --> 00:24:18.579
 First of all,

00:24:18.659 --> 00:24:19.759
 what do you have to do?

00:24:20.359 --> 00:24:21.139
 First of all,

00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:22.639
 there's a plank in your own eye.

00:24:23.399 --> 00:24:25.619
 Stop looking at the other person's sin first.

00:24:25.619 --> 00:24:27.539
 Look at your own heart.

00:24:27.919 --> 00:24:28.239
 Look at

00:24:28.239 --> 00:24:29.519
 what do I want?

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:31.119
 Where is my desire

00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:32.219
 too strong here?

00:24:32.500 --> 00:24:33.979
 Where am I wanting something

00:24:33.979 --> 00:24:35.119
 more than I want God?

00:24:35.500 --> 00:24:36.259
 Am I wanting

00:24:36.259 --> 00:24:37.000
 the desire

00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:38.139
 for a clean bathroom

00:24:38.139 --> 00:24:39.399
 more than God?

00:24:40.019 --> 00:24:40.799
 Am I wanting

00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:41.719
 the desire

00:24:41.719 --> 00:24:42.319
 for him

00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:43.659
 to just shut the cupboards

00:24:43.659 --> 00:24:44.519
 one time

00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:45.559
 more than God?

00:24:47.799 --> 00:24:48.359
 Now,

00:24:48.419 --> 00:24:49.539
 those are good desires.

00:24:49.919 --> 00:24:50.839
 They're not wrong desires.

00:24:51.459 --> 00:24:52.019
 But maybe

00:24:52.019 --> 00:24:53.200
 if they've led you

00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:54.079
 to frustration

00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:55.220
 and anger

00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:56.400
 and nagging

00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:57.180
 and blaming,

00:24:57.980 --> 00:24:59.180
 it's become too strong.

00:25:00.700 --> 00:25:01.920
 It's become stronger

00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:03.200
 than your desire for God.

00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:04.200
 And what

00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:05.960
 Jesus says

00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:06.660
 is first

00:25:06.660 --> 00:25:08.079
 humble yourself.

00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:09.920
 What does that mean?

00:25:10.139 --> 00:25:10.819
 It means

00:25:10.819 --> 00:25:11.759
 ask yourself

00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:12.480
 those questions.

00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:14.480
 What do I want?

00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:16.779
 What do I want?

00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:18.240
 What's the desire

00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:19.379
 that has grown stronger

00:25:19.379 --> 00:25:20.259
 than my desire

00:25:20.259 --> 00:25:20.859
 for God?

00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:23.519
 And he says,

00:25:23.779 --> 00:25:24.759
 submit yourself.

00:25:25.859 --> 00:25:27.180
 Lay down your desires.

00:25:27.379 --> 00:25:27.839
 They could be

00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:28.740
 good desires.

00:25:29.400 --> 00:25:30.019
 I want her

00:25:30.019 --> 00:25:30.920
 to treat me well.

00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:31.339
 I want her

00:25:31.339 --> 00:25:32.099
 to give me respect.

00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:32.839
 That's okay.

00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:35.660
 But if you're

00:25:35.660 --> 00:25:36.539
 getting frustrated,

00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:37.400
 you can actually

00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:38.259
 deal with those things

00:25:38.259 --> 00:25:38.779
 calmly,

00:25:39.339 --> 00:25:40.059
 submissively,

00:25:40.460 --> 00:25:41.200
 considerately.

00:25:41.539 --> 00:25:42.259
 But if we're getting

00:25:42.259 --> 00:25:43.740
 angry at those things,

00:25:44.220 --> 00:25:45.200
 it's because

00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:46.240
 my desires

00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:47.039
 are too strong.

00:25:47.339 --> 00:25:48.319
 I need to come

00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:49.039
 and repent

00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:49.680
 before God

00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:49.960
 and say,

00:25:50.019 --> 00:25:50.259
 God,

00:25:50.360 --> 00:25:50.880
 forgive me.

00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:52.320
 I need to lay

00:25:52.320 --> 00:25:53.080
 those desires,

00:25:53.299 --> 00:25:54.259
 submit those desires

00:25:54.259 --> 00:25:54.519
 to God

00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:54.779
 and say,

00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:55.360
 God,

00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:56.480
 I really want

00:25:56.480 --> 00:25:58.560
 him just to

00:25:58.560 --> 00:26:00.160
 spend some time

00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:00.600
 with me.

00:26:00.980 --> 00:26:02.360
 I really want

00:26:02.360 --> 00:26:03.820
 her to respect me.

00:26:04.840 --> 00:26:05.180
 But

00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:07.920
 I want

00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:08.820
 you

00:26:08.820 --> 00:26:09.900
 more.

00:26:10.060 --> 00:26:10.480
 And I know

00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:11.160
 that you

00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:11.940
 honor me.

00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:13.200
 I know that you

00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.519
 will provide my needs.

00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:15.420
 I know that I can

00:26:15.420 --> 00:26:16.380
 trust you

00:26:16.380 --> 00:26:17.500
 to do these things.

00:26:17.500 --> 00:26:18.259
 So I lay

00:26:18.259 --> 00:26:19.140
 these things

00:26:19.140 --> 00:26:20.000
 at your feet.

00:26:21.859 --> 00:26:23.160
 When we do that,

00:26:23.779 --> 00:26:25.839
 then we're in a place

00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:27.160
 where we know

00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:28.880
 that we're an adulterer,

00:26:28.980 --> 00:26:29.700
 yet we receive

00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:30.400
 God's forgiveness.

00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:32.299
 And then we can go

00:26:32.299 --> 00:26:33.059
 and take the speck

00:26:33.059 --> 00:26:34.119
 out of the other person's eye.

00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:35.220
 Then we can talk

00:26:35.220 --> 00:26:36.319
 about the issues

00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:37.220
 calmly,

00:26:37.799 --> 00:26:38.359
 respectfully,

00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:39.180
 gently.

00:26:39.359 --> 00:26:40.480
 That doesn't necessarily

00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:41.920
 mean the other person

00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:43.059
 will always respond

00:26:43.059 --> 00:26:44.079
 the way you want them to.

00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:46.799
 But

00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:48.460
 it does mean

00:26:48.460 --> 00:26:49.399
 that you can respond

00:26:49.399 --> 00:26:50.559
 to them with grace.

00:26:52.899 --> 00:26:54.199
 And God can work.

00:26:54.299 --> 00:26:55.159
 You're trusting God

00:26:55.159 --> 00:26:56.099
 to work in their heart

00:26:56.099 --> 00:26:57.220
 without having to nag them,

00:26:57.339 --> 00:26:58.699
 without having to manipulate them,

00:26:58.759 --> 00:26:59.879
 without having to blame them,

00:27:00.159 --> 00:27:00.960
 without having to try

00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:01.960
 and control them

00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:04.259
 by your anger

00:27:04.259 --> 00:27:05.699
 or all those other things.

00:27:07.099 --> 00:27:07.839
 So the first thing,

00:27:07.919 --> 00:27:08.460
 humility.

00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:11.919
 The second thing

00:27:11.919 --> 00:27:13.899
 is grace.

00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:16.199
 it says,

00:27:16.519 --> 00:27:17.439
 God gives grace

00:27:17.439 --> 00:27:18.500
 to the humble.

00:27:19.579 --> 00:27:19.839
 You see,

00:27:19.899 --> 00:27:20.819
 if you've done that first,

00:27:20.879 --> 00:27:21.839
 if you realize

00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:25.279
 where your fault is,

00:27:25.539 --> 00:27:26.299
 where you have put

00:27:26.299 --> 00:27:27.359
 something above God,

00:27:28.659 --> 00:27:29.720
 then he says,

00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:30.919
 he will give you the grace

00:27:30.919 --> 00:27:33.240
 to cope with any

00:27:33.240 --> 00:27:35.879
 and every difficult situation.

00:27:36.539 --> 00:27:37.519
 Conflict is painful.

00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:38.679
 Conflict is difficult.

00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:40.039
 It's not easy.

00:27:40.279 --> 00:27:41.159
 But God says,

00:27:41.159 --> 00:27:42.559
 if you trust me,

00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:44.559
 if you give me your desires,

00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:46.839
 I will give you grace

00:27:46.839 --> 00:27:48.839
 to cope with it.

00:27:50.919 --> 00:27:52.460
 And it's not just that.

00:27:52.659 --> 00:27:54.359
 Where do we understand

00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:55.279
 that grace?

00:27:55.460 --> 00:27:55.919
 Well, do you remember

00:27:55.919 --> 00:27:57.119
 that story of Hosea?

00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:59.559
 Remember that story of Hosea

00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:01.599
 where Hosea was

00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:02.759
 completely faithful,

00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:04.679
 completely faithful,

00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:08.320
 while his wife

00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:10.600
 was completely adulterous,

00:28:10.740 --> 00:28:12.360
 yet Hosea kept

00:28:12.360 --> 00:28:14.720
 on loving her,

00:28:15.860 --> 00:28:16.700
 forgiving her,

00:28:17.100 --> 00:28:18.259
 working her back.

00:28:18.500 --> 00:28:19.840
 That's what God

00:28:19.840 --> 00:28:21.279
 does with us.

00:28:22.039 --> 00:28:22.960
 Though we are

00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:24.519
 spiritual adulterers

00:28:24.519 --> 00:28:25.840
 and adulteresses,

00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:27.299
 every time

00:28:27.299 --> 00:28:28.480
 we get angry,

00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:30.140
 frustrated,

00:28:30.440 --> 00:28:30.940
 irritated,

00:28:30.940 --> 00:28:32.420
 there's your adultery alert.

00:28:33.380 --> 00:28:33.940
 But actually,

00:28:34.019 --> 00:28:35.059
 we come back to God

00:28:35.059 --> 00:28:36.180
 and his grace

00:28:36.180 --> 00:28:38.500
 covers over our sin.

00:28:39.220 --> 00:28:39.980
 And the place

00:28:39.980 --> 00:28:41.240
 where we see this

00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:42.799
 lived out

00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:45.220
 most incredibly

00:28:45.220 --> 00:28:46.180
 is at the cross.

00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:47.960
 At the cross,

00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:50.220
 the one whose desire

00:28:50.220 --> 00:28:52.019
 was not more than

00:28:52.019 --> 00:28:53.279
 his desire for God,

00:28:54.059 --> 00:28:55.340
 actually came into

00:28:55.340 --> 00:28:56.559
 conflict with God,

00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:57.320
 where God turned

00:28:57.320 --> 00:28:58.519
 his back on Jesus,

00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:00.480
 so that we

00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:01.440
 who were in

00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:02.799
 conflict with God

00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:03.879
 and conflict

00:29:03.879 --> 00:29:04.779
 with each other

00:29:04.779 --> 00:29:05.839
 could have

00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:07.079
 restored relationship

00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:07.720
 with God,

00:29:08.059 --> 00:29:09.059
 could know grace

00:29:09.059 --> 00:29:09.579
 of God,

00:29:09.660 --> 00:29:10.579
 so that we can

00:29:10.579 --> 00:29:11.160
 actually know

00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:12.339
 restored relationships

00:29:12.339 --> 00:29:13.180
 with each other.

00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:15.720
 When you realize

00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:16.799
 how amazing

00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:17.639
 God's grace

00:29:17.639 --> 00:29:18.900
 towards you is,

00:29:19.180 --> 00:29:20.680
 though you and I

00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:21.619
 are a spiritual

00:29:21.619 --> 00:29:22.559
 adulterers,

00:29:23.480 --> 00:29:24.579
 how can I keep

00:29:24.579 --> 00:29:26.639
 bitter and angry

00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:27.940
 with my husband,

00:29:28.380 --> 00:29:29.360
 with my wife,

00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:30.780
 with my colleague,

00:29:31.060 --> 00:29:31.960
 with my community

00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:32.680
 group member?

00:29:34.800 --> 00:29:35.940
 That's the starting

00:29:35.940 --> 00:29:36.980
 point where we can

00:29:36.980 --> 00:29:38.259
 really begin to deal

00:29:38.259 --> 00:29:39.040
 with conflict.

00:29:41.600 --> 00:29:43.080
 Because at that point,

00:29:43.360 --> 00:29:44.160
 conflict can then

00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:45.200
 be redemptive.

00:29:45.700 --> 00:29:46.820
 It can grow and

00:29:46.820 --> 00:29:48.000
 deepen your relationships

00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:48.800
 with one another.

00:29:50.300 --> 00:29:51.660
 It can bring

00:29:51.660 --> 00:29:53.060
 a love

00:29:53.060 --> 00:29:54.220
 which knows

00:29:54.220 --> 00:29:54.880
 that each other

00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:55.400
 are broken

00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:57.060
 and you're at fault.

00:29:57.840 --> 00:29:58.480
 Let's not have

00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:58.940
 illusions.

00:29:59.240 --> 00:29:59.759
 We are sinful,

00:29:59.960 --> 00:30:00.660
 broken people,

00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:02.120
 but we can know

00:30:02.120 --> 00:30:02.759
 the grace

00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:03.900
 of an amazingly

00:30:03.900 --> 00:30:05.440
 gracious God.

00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:10.000
 So here's

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:10.680
 two challenges.

00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:14.180
 If you are not

00:30:14.180 --> 00:30:14.740
 a Christian,

00:30:16.140 --> 00:30:17.259
 the challenge

00:30:17.259 --> 00:30:18.300
 for you is this.

00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:20.140
 Until you

00:30:20.140 --> 00:30:20.740
 submit

00:30:20.740 --> 00:30:22.820
 to God,

00:30:22.819 --> 00:30:22.859
 God,

00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:25.259
 you will not

00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:26.179
 have all the

00:30:26.179 --> 00:30:27.059
 resources you

00:30:27.059 --> 00:30:28.519
 need to deal

00:30:28.519 --> 00:30:29.119
 with all the

00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:29.980
 conflicts that you

00:30:29.980 --> 00:30:30.740
 will face in your

00:30:30.740 --> 00:30:31.119
 life.

00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:33.259
 Because there

00:30:33.259 --> 00:30:34.079
 will always be

00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:35.119
 people who

00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:35.960
 hurt us

00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:37.240
 and who

00:30:37.240 --> 00:30:38.139
 cause us

00:30:38.139 --> 00:30:38.659
 pain,

00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:39.740
 and unless you

00:30:39.740 --> 00:30:40.559
 know the grace

00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:41.700
 of a loving God,

00:30:42.379 --> 00:30:44.000
 you will not be

00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:44.480
 able to show

00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:45.659
 grace and

00:30:45.659 --> 00:30:46.139
 forgiveness

00:30:46.139 --> 00:30:47.319
 and mercy

00:30:47.319 --> 00:30:48.740
 to those people

00:30:48.740 --> 00:30:49.500
 who really hurt

00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:49.799
 you.

00:30:49.799 --> 00:30:51.980
 So the

00:30:51.980 --> 00:30:52.759
 call for you

00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:53.680
 is submit

00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:54.419
 yourselves to

00:30:54.419 --> 00:30:54.799
 God,

00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:56.039
 because it

00:30:56.039 --> 00:30:56.500
 can be the

00:30:56.500 --> 00:30:57.379
 start of

00:30:57.379 --> 00:30:58.879
 freedom in

00:30:58.879 --> 00:30:59.639
 your relationship,

00:31:00.159 --> 00:31:00.839
 the end to

00:31:00.839 --> 00:31:01.319
 some of those

00:31:01.319 --> 00:31:01.980
 wars you've

00:31:01.980 --> 00:31:02.579
 been engaged

00:31:02.579 --> 00:31:02.859
 in.

00:31:05.159 --> 00:31:06.099
 If you are

00:31:06.099 --> 00:31:06.639
 a Christian,

00:31:07.579 --> 00:31:08.039
 here's the

00:31:08.039 --> 00:31:08.500
 challenge.

00:31:09.299 --> 00:31:10.200
 Where are you

00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:11.099
 engaged in

00:31:11.099 --> 00:31:11.879
 conflict at the

00:31:11.879 --> 00:31:12.119
 moment?

00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:13.740
 Where are you

00:31:13.740 --> 00:31:14.299
 engaged in

00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:15.220
 silent wars?

00:31:15.859 --> 00:31:16.440
 Where are you

00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:17.240
 engaged in

00:31:17.240 --> 00:31:18.079
 hand grenade

00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:18.599
 wars?

00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:19.899
 Where are you

00:31:19.899 --> 00:31:20.480
 engaged in

00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:21.439
 all-out wars?

00:31:23.459 --> 00:31:24.219
 The first

00:31:24.219 --> 00:31:24.639
 thing, rather

00:31:24.639 --> 00:31:25.079
 than just

00:31:25.079 --> 00:31:25.859
 always saying,

00:31:25.939 --> 00:31:26.059
 well, it's

00:31:26.059 --> 00:31:26.459
 all about

00:31:26.459 --> 00:31:26.939
 them, they've

00:31:26.939 --> 00:31:27.319
 done it, and

00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:28.480
 they may well

00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:29.500
 have hurt you,

00:31:29.599 --> 00:31:30.199
 they may well

00:31:30.199 --> 00:31:31.079
 be totally in

00:31:31.079 --> 00:31:31.539
 the wrong,

00:31:32.879 --> 00:31:34.000
 but first,

00:31:34.159 --> 00:31:34.839
 humble yourself

00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:35.799
 and ask God,

00:31:36.179 --> 00:31:36.859
 what do I

00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:37.139
 want?

00:31:37.899 --> 00:31:38.439
 Is there a

00:31:38.439 --> 00:31:39.659
 desire that

00:31:39.659 --> 00:31:40.299
 has got too

00:31:40.299 --> 00:31:40.759
 strong?

00:31:41.980 --> 00:31:42.439
 And just

00:31:42.439 --> 00:31:43.079
 submit it to

00:31:43.079 --> 00:31:43.419
 God.

00:31:44.379 --> 00:31:45.279
 Receive his

00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:46.259
 forgiveness and

00:31:46.259 --> 00:31:47.139
 grace towards

00:31:47.139 --> 00:31:47.459
 you.

00:31:47.460 --> 00:31:48.940
 don't go

00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:50.500
 around talking

00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:51.180
 to everybody

00:31:51.180 --> 00:31:51.980
 else about

00:31:51.980 --> 00:31:52.500
 the sin of

00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:53.120
 that person.

00:31:53.240 --> 00:31:53.559
 That's what

00:31:53.559 --> 00:31:54.200
 James tells

00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:55.940
 you in

00:31:55.940 --> 00:31:56.579
 verse 11.

00:31:58.460 --> 00:31:59.200
 Go to the

00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:00.200
 person, talk

00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:01.680
 to them, but

00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:02.319
 with grace

00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:03.039
 realizing that

00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:03.539
 you are a

00:32:03.539 --> 00:32:04.160
 broken sinner.

00:32:07.500 --> 00:32:08.259
 And if you

00:32:08.259 --> 00:32:08.819
 know that there

00:32:08.819 --> 00:32:09.340
 are people you

00:32:09.340 --> 00:32:09.980
 really struggle

00:32:09.980 --> 00:32:12.579
 with, I've

00:32:12.579 --> 00:32:13.220
 many times

00:32:13.220 --> 00:32:14.039
 kind of tried

00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:14.620
 to forgive

00:32:14.620 --> 00:32:15.740
 people, but

00:32:15.740 --> 00:32:16.779
 it's only when

00:32:16.779 --> 00:32:17.399
 I actually

00:32:17.399 --> 00:32:18.119
 start praying

00:32:18.119 --> 00:32:18.700
 for them.

00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:20.299
 It's only

00:32:20.299 --> 00:32:20.619
 when I

00:32:20.619 --> 00:32:21.420
 actually start

00:32:21.420 --> 00:32:23.200
 thanking God

00:32:23.200 --> 00:32:24.500
 for the

00:32:24.500 --> 00:32:25.519
 people who

00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:26.000
 I really

00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:26.839
 struggle with

00:32:26.839 --> 00:32:27.759
 that God

00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:28.500
 actually begins

00:32:28.500 --> 00:32:28.940
 to bring

00:32:28.940 --> 00:32:30.200
 healing into

00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:30.819
 my life.

00:32:33.819 --> 00:32:34.740
 So there's a

00:32:34.740 --> 00:32:35.079
 challenge.

00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:35.899
 Think for

00:32:35.899 --> 00:32:36.240
 yourself.

00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:36.660
 Where are you

00:32:36.660 --> 00:32:37.160
 in conflict?

00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:39.019
 Don't be

00:32:39.019 --> 00:32:39.599
 soft on your

00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:40.200
 own sin and

00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:40.839
 just hard on

00:32:40.839 --> 00:32:41.099
 the other

00:32:41.099 --> 00:32:41.859
 person's sin.

00:32:42.980 --> 00:32:43.779
 Where are you

00:32:43.779 --> 00:32:44.339
 in conflict?

00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.579
 Come, humble

00:32:46.579 --> 00:32:47.920
 yourself, submit

00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:49.279
 your desires to

00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:49.720
 God.

00:32:51.039 --> 00:32:52.000
 And it says he

00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:52.619
 will lift you

00:32:52.619 --> 00:32:52.940
 up.

00:32:53.700 --> 00:32:54.279
 He will give

00:32:54.279 --> 00:32:54.879
 you grace.

00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:56.619
 He will restore.

00:32:56.899 --> 00:32:57.500
 He will do

00:32:57.500 --> 00:32:58.119
 the work.

00:33:00.379 --> 00:33:01.440
 Begin to thank

00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:02.059
 God for the

00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:02.399
 people.

00:33:02.519 --> 00:33:02.980
 Even if you

00:33:02.980 --> 00:33:03.359
 think there's

00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:04.200
 nothing to thank

00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:05.019
 God for them,

00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:07.579
 realize, thank

00:33:07.579 --> 00:33:08.099
 God for the

00:33:08.099 --> 00:33:08.839
 way he sees

00:33:08.839 --> 00:33:09.059
 them.

00:33:10.019 --> 00:33:10.559
 Thank God for

00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:11.039
 the way he

00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:11.879
 shows grace to

00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:12.100
 them.

00:33:13.180 --> 00:33:13.780
 And maybe,

00:33:13.900 --> 00:33:14.300
 and here's the

00:33:14.300 --> 00:33:15.720
 toughie, go and

00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:16.400
 speak to the

00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:19.740
 person and

00:33:19.740 --> 00:33:20.520
 tell them the

00:33:20.520 --> 00:33:21.000
 things you are

00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:21.760
 thankful to God

00:33:21.760 --> 00:33:22.480
 for them for.

00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:26.000
 Wow.

00:33:27.300 --> 00:33:28.280
 You need grace

00:33:28.280 --> 00:33:28.900
 to do that.

00:33:29.260 --> 00:33:29.620
 That's

00:33:29.620 --> 00:33:30.160
 supernatural.

00:33:34.040 --> 00:33:34.780
 But it says

00:33:34.780 --> 00:33:35.780
 in verse 17

00:33:35.780 --> 00:33:37.180
 of chapter 3,

00:33:37.280 --> 00:33:37.720
 the wisdom

00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:38.360
 that comes from

00:33:38.360 --> 00:33:39.140
 heaven is first

00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:39.760
 of all pure,

00:33:40.460 --> 00:33:41.260
 then peace

00:33:41.260 --> 00:33:41.560
 loving,

00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:43.180
 considerate,

00:33:43.700 --> 00:33:44.440
 submissive,

00:33:44.800 --> 00:33:45.720
 full of mercy

00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:46.960
 and good fruit,

00:33:47.460 --> 00:33:48.420
 impartial and

00:33:48.420 --> 00:33:48.980
 sincere,

00:33:49.700 --> 00:33:50.880
 peacemakers who

00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:52.200
 sow in peace,

00:33:52.820 --> 00:33:53.680
 reap a harvest

00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:54.700
 of righteousness.

00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:56.000
 Isn't that

00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:56.380
 amazing?

00:33:56.820 --> 00:33:57.540
 If you start to

00:33:57.540 --> 00:33:58.320
 do this, you can

00:33:58.320 --> 00:33:59.340
 reap a harvest

00:33:59.340 --> 00:34:00.780
 of righteousness.

00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:04.380
 Some of you may

00:34:04.380 --> 00:34:05.340
 be involved in

00:34:05.340 --> 00:34:06.980
 really difficult

00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:07.580
 conflicts.

00:34:07.980 --> 00:34:08.680
 And if you are,

00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:09.820
 we have,

00:34:09.820 --> 00:34:11.180
 if you could just

00:34:11.180 --> 00:34:11.740
 put the slide

00:34:11.740 --> 00:34:11.960
 on.

00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:13.600
 We have some

00:34:13.600 --> 00:34:14.240
 people that you

00:34:14.240 --> 00:34:15.260
 can contact.

00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:16.220
 It's confidential.

00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:17.740
 You can talk to

00:34:17.740 --> 00:34:18.580
 them and work

00:34:18.580 --> 00:34:19.300
 through some of

00:34:19.300 --> 00:34:20.140
 the issues that

00:34:20.140 --> 00:34:20.600
 you may be

00:34:20.600 --> 00:34:21.100
 dealing with in

00:34:21.100 --> 00:34:21.680
 your marriages,

00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.519
 in your families,

00:34:24.780 --> 00:34:25.320
 in all these

00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:25.760
 things.

00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:27.000
 Here's an email,

00:34:27.420 --> 00:34:27.780
 and there are

00:34:27.780 --> 00:34:28.800
 trained counselors

00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:29.820
 who can talk you

00:34:29.820 --> 00:34:30.380
 through and work

00:34:30.380 --> 00:34:31.000
 you through some

00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:31.500
 of the issues.

00:34:31.500 --> 00:34:32.639
 But don't let

00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:34.139
 conflict continue

00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:36.639
 because God

00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:37.539
 wants to work

00:34:37.539 --> 00:34:38.500
 through conflict

00:34:38.500 --> 00:34:39.539
 to bring you

00:34:39.539 --> 00:34:40.260
 into a harvest

00:34:40.260 --> 00:34:41.000
 of righteousness.

00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:43.760
 Let's pray.

00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:56.900
 Father, as we

00:34:56.900 --> 00:34:57.520
 think about this

00:34:57.520 --> 00:34:58.520
 difficult topic

00:34:58.520 --> 00:35:01.480
 of conflict,

00:35:02.600 --> 00:35:04.180
 we realize,

00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:06.000
 Lord, that I

00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:07.040
 realize that so

00:35:07.040 --> 00:35:07.820
 often I have been

00:35:07.820 --> 00:35:09.120
 justifying myself,

00:35:10.180 --> 00:35:11.300
 defending myself,

00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:13.020
 putting the blame

00:35:13.019 --> 00:35:13.980
 on everybody else,

00:35:14.179 --> 00:35:14.739
 Lord, and not

00:35:14.739 --> 00:35:15.659
 examining my own

00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:17.800
 heart, and ask

00:35:17.800 --> 00:35:18.639
 you to forgive me.

00:35:21.820 --> 00:35:22.619
 I'll just give you

00:35:22.619 --> 00:35:23.380
 a minute now to

00:35:23.380 --> 00:35:24.759
 think, where are

00:35:24.759 --> 00:35:25.400
 there areas of

00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:26.179
 conflict in your

00:35:26.179 --> 00:35:26.539
 life?

00:35:26.619 --> 00:35:27.159
 And just humble

00:35:27.159 --> 00:35:28.039
 yourself now.

00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:29.280
 Ask yourself those

00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:29.679
 questions.

00:35:29.780 --> 00:35:30.559
 What do I want?

00:35:32.199 --> 00:35:32.860
 Is there anything

00:35:32.860 --> 00:35:33.739
 that's grown stronger

00:35:33.739 --> 00:35:34.679
 than my desire for

00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:34.980
 God?

00:35:37.380 --> 00:35:38.440
 And just repent.

00:35:43.019 --> 00:36:03.139
 Father, thank you

00:36:03.139 --> 00:36:03.920
 for your grace.

00:36:04.880 --> 00:36:05.960
 Thank you that it

00:36:05.960 --> 00:36:06.639
 is through your

00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:08.000
 grace that we can

00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:08.639
 actually live

00:36:08.639 --> 00:36:09.860
 restored relationships,

00:36:09.860 --> 00:36:11.539
 that we can

00:36:11.539 --> 00:36:12.480
 actually live in

00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:13.519
 freedom in the

00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:15.079
 midst of a broken

00:36:15.079 --> 00:36:16.160
 and sinful world.

00:36:17.180 --> 00:36:18.180
 Thank you that you

00:36:18.180 --> 00:36:19.300
 desire to bring us

00:36:19.300 --> 00:36:20.440
 into right relationship

00:36:20.440 --> 00:36:21.840
 with you, right

00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:22.599
 relationship with

00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:23.039
 each other.

00:36:23.620 --> 00:36:24.440
 Please let our

00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:25.460
 church be marked

00:36:25.460 --> 00:36:26.940
 with people who

00:36:26.940 --> 00:36:27.500
 can deal with

00:36:27.500 --> 00:36:29.300
 conflict well, who

00:36:29.300 --> 00:36:30.160
 can love people

00:36:30.160 --> 00:36:31.980
 well, who can speak

00:36:31.980 --> 00:36:33.840
 the truth well, and

00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:34.740
 that we grow together

00:36:34.740 --> 00:36:35.579
 to love you more.

00:36:36.579 --> 00:36:37.180
 In your name.

00:36:37.179 --> 00:36:37.899
 Amen.

00:36:39.319 --> 00:36:40.960
 Please be seated

00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:41.460
 for one minute,

00:36:41.539 --> 00:36:41.839
 please.

00:36:44.819 --> 00:36:45.579
 Thanks so much,

00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:46.940
 Chris, for bringing

00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:49.419
 God's word in a very

00:36:49.419 --> 00:36:50.239
 timely manner.

00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:51.960
 Hey, we have

00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:52.539
 something that we

00:36:52.539 --> 00:36:53.259
 want to share with

00:36:53.259 --> 00:36:55.139
 you guys, and so I

00:36:55.139 --> 00:36:56.039
 just encourage your

00:36:56.039 --> 00:36:57.079
 patience with this.

00:36:57.579 --> 00:36:58.179
 I need you to

00:36:58.179 --> 00:36:58.559
 listen.

00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:00.899
 I really need you to

00:37:00.899 --> 00:37:01.460
 listen on these

00:37:01.460 --> 00:37:01.739
 things.

00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:03.019
 I want to invite the

00:37:03.019 --> 00:37:03.839
 other elders to come

00:37:03.839 --> 00:37:05.239
 up, and we have

00:37:05.239 --> 00:37:05.799
 something we want to

00:37:05.799 --> 00:37:06.319
 share with you.

00:37:06.319 --> 00:37:06.779
 We have been

00:37:06.780 --> 00:37:07.620
 struggling with this

00:37:07.620 --> 00:37:10.440
 for like years, and

00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:11.420
 so when we started

00:37:11.420 --> 00:37:12.260
 the church, we wanted

00:37:12.260 --> 00:37:12.960
 to be a church that

00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:14.460
 was a family, right?

00:37:14.540 --> 00:37:15.240
 So we wanted to be a

00:37:15.240 --> 00:37:16.740
 family, do things as

00:37:16.740 --> 00:37:18.140
 a family, and realize

00:37:18.140 --> 00:37:18.519
 that there's some

00:37:18.519 --> 00:37:19.380
 people here that

00:37:19.380 --> 00:37:20.680
 you're like, wow, I've

00:37:20.680 --> 00:37:21.300
 never been to this

00:37:21.300 --> 00:37:22.580
 church, and what's

00:37:22.580 --> 00:37:23.240
 going on up there?

00:37:23.300 --> 00:37:24.640
 But the goal was that

00:37:24.640 --> 00:37:25.760
 we always ask, we

00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:26.880
 talk, we involve

00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:27.620
 things with each

00:37:27.620 --> 00:37:28.840
 other, and we ask

00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:29.220
 questions.

00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:29.900
 So sometimes at the

00:37:29.900 --> 00:37:30.320
 end of the sermons, we

00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:31.019
 talk, and we ask

00:37:31.019 --> 00:37:31.740
 questions at the end

00:37:31.740 --> 00:37:33.320
 of the sermons, and we

00:37:33.320 --> 00:37:35.000
 want to just be as a

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:35.260
 family.

00:37:35.260 --> 00:37:36.800
 And so sometimes in the

00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:37.540
 family, you have

00:37:37.540 --> 00:37:39.680
 conflict, as Chris was

00:37:39.680 --> 00:37:40.640
 talking about today.

00:37:41.040 --> 00:37:41.800
 And so we want to share

00:37:41.800 --> 00:37:42.340
 some things that have

00:37:42.340 --> 00:37:43.880
 been on our heart, and

00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:45.220
 ask you to pray for

00:37:45.220 --> 00:37:46.880
 these things, and hear

00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:47.380
 our heart.

00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:48.600
 But I'm going to start

00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:49.360
 with having Franklin

00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:50.660
 pray for us.

00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:52.780
 Let's bow our hand and

00:37:52.780 --> 00:37:52.960
 pray.

00:37:54.540 --> 00:37:56.280
 Heavenly Father, you have

00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:57.820
 taught us in Genesis 2.18

00:37:57.820 --> 00:38:00.100
 that it is not good for the

00:38:00.100 --> 00:38:01.060
 man to be alone.

00:38:01.059 --> 00:38:02.539
 Therefore, you have

00:38:02.539 --> 00:38:03.380
 established different

00:38:03.380 --> 00:38:04.840
 communities for us,

00:38:05.380 --> 00:38:07.380
 marriage, family, and

00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:07.779
 church.

00:38:08.519 --> 00:38:09.679
 You have prepared these

00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:11.199
 communities for us so

00:38:11.199 --> 00:38:12.199
 that we do not have to

00:38:12.199 --> 00:38:13.099
 walk life's journey

00:38:13.099 --> 00:38:13.559
 alone.

00:38:14.380 --> 00:38:15.500
 Thank you for surrounding

00:38:15.500 --> 00:38:16.559
 us with loving brothers

00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:18.579
 and sisters, to cheer us

00:38:18.579 --> 00:38:20.320
 when we're down, to lift

00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:22.480
 us when we fall, to love

00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:24.420
 us when we're hurt, and to

00:38:24.420 --> 00:38:25.440
 point us in the right

00:38:25.440 --> 00:38:26.840
 direction when we have

00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:28.679
 lost our way, and correct

00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:30.239
 us when we have failed.

00:38:30.239 --> 00:38:34.739
 Then in James 5.16, you

00:38:34.739 --> 00:38:36.199
 have taught us to confess

00:38:36.199 --> 00:38:37.519
 our sins to each other,

00:38:37.979 --> 00:38:39.319
 and pray for each other,

00:38:39.739 --> 00:38:41.219
 so that we may be healed.

00:38:42.219 --> 00:38:44.479
 Lord Jesus Christ, now we

00:38:44.479 --> 00:38:45.919
 come before you as one

00:38:45.919 --> 00:38:47.239
 body and of one mind.

00:38:47.939 --> 00:38:49.139
 Holy Spirit, guard our

00:38:49.139 --> 00:38:50.219
 hearts and direct our

00:38:50.219 --> 00:38:51.959
 thoughts as we present to

00:38:51.959 --> 00:38:52.899
 you matters in our

00:38:52.899 --> 00:38:54.199
 community and our family.

00:38:54.819 --> 00:38:56.359
 We pray all this in Jesus'

00:38:56.579 --> 00:38:56.819
 name.

00:38:57.159 --> 00:38:57.379
 Amen.

00:38:58.319 --> 00:38:58.599
 Amen.

00:38:58.599 --> 00:38:58.759
 Amen.

00:38:59.339 --> 00:39:00.099
 So one of the things we've

00:39:00.099 --> 00:39:01.139
 been praying about as we go

00:39:01.139 --> 00:39:02.219
 on this journey as a church

00:39:02.219 --> 00:39:03.179
 is we said that we want to

00:39:03.179 --> 00:39:04.480
 be a church that teaches all

00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:06.239
 of God's word, and not just

00:39:06.239 --> 00:39:07.279
 the fun, sexy things.

00:39:07.400 --> 00:39:08.679
 And so we've been really

00:39:08.679 --> 00:39:10.420
 faithful to expound the word

00:39:10.420 --> 00:39:11.839
 of the Lord and talk about

00:39:11.839 --> 00:39:14.239
 things like hell and sin and

00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:15.799
 grace and mercy and what that

00:39:15.799 --> 00:39:16.980
 looks like in our life.

00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:18.900
 And amidst all of it, as we

00:39:18.900 --> 00:39:19.940
 look at James and other

00:39:19.940 --> 00:39:21.059
 passages, we've talked about

00:39:21.059 --> 00:39:23.099
 that we want God's word to be

00:39:23.099 --> 00:39:24.739
 a mirror to us.

00:39:25.119 --> 00:39:25.880
 That we don't want to look at

00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:27.360
 other people or what society

00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:28.599
 says and says, how are we

00:39:28.599 --> 00:39:28.740
 doing?

00:39:28.780 --> 00:39:29.360
 Are we doing well?

00:39:29.720 --> 00:39:31.440
 But we want God's word to be

00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:32.220
 the reflection of that,

00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:34.320
 especially as God's family.

00:39:34.400 --> 00:39:36.420
 And so as we desire to preach

00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:38.180
 and teach all of God's word

00:39:38.180 --> 00:39:39.380
 and counsel so everyone knows

00:39:39.380 --> 00:39:41.000
 what it means to walk with

00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:41.300
 the Lord.

00:39:41.360 --> 00:39:42.920
 So some of you in here, you're

00:39:42.920 --> 00:39:44.079
 really early on your journey

00:39:44.079 --> 00:39:45.079
 and some of you aren't on a

00:39:45.079 --> 00:39:46.400
 journey yet, but you're

00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:47.280
 learning what it means to be

00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:48.360
 a part of the family of God.

00:39:48.440 --> 00:39:49.320
 And so our prayer is that this

00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:51.820
 would be an instructive time.

00:39:52.460 --> 00:39:54.160
 But as we look at going on

00:39:54.159 --> 00:39:55.960
 this journey, as Chris talked

00:39:55.960 --> 00:39:57.839
 about, sometimes in the church

00:39:57.839 --> 00:40:01.359
 family, we have tension and we

00:40:01.359 --> 00:40:02.980
 have things that don't work

00:40:02.980 --> 00:40:04.960
 right and we have conflict that

00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:05.339
 happens.

00:40:05.879 --> 00:40:07.379
 And the scripture is really clear

00:40:07.379 --> 00:40:08.559
 about what we do with this

00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:08.920
 conflict.

00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:11.319
 Actually, the New Testament talks

00:40:11.319 --> 00:40:12.500
 about it quite a bit.

00:40:12.899 --> 00:40:13.980
 There's about seven different

00:40:13.980 --> 00:40:15.639
 passages that talk about what

00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:16.779
 do you do if you're in conflict

00:40:16.779 --> 00:40:18.159
 or brothers are sinning against

00:40:18.759 --> 00:40:20.219
 each other and how do you handle

00:40:20.219 --> 00:40:21.279
 that as a church and how do we

00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:22.660
 rejoice in that?

00:40:23.100 --> 00:40:24.720
 And again, the whole purpose of

00:40:24.720 --> 00:40:26.700
 all of this is to bring

00:40:26.700 --> 00:40:27.800
 restoration.

00:40:28.820 --> 00:40:30.360
 The purpose of the family is to

00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:31.600
 bring people into the family and

00:40:31.600 --> 00:40:33.380
 to bring healing into the family

00:40:33.380 --> 00:40:34.980
 and health into the family.

00:40:35.680 --> 00:40:37.180
 And it's not to kick members or

00:40:37.180 --> 00:40:38.420
 kick your family members away,

00:40:38.540 --> 00:40:40.220
 but it's to heal them and show

00:40:40.220 --> 00:40:41.000
 them and love them.

00:40:41.100 --> 00:40:42.680
 And sometimes that's, and you

00:40:42.680 --> 00:40:43.780
 know that as you raise kids,

00:40:43.860 --> 00:40:44.960
 sometimes that's incredibly

00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:46.500
 difficult and hard in

00:40:46.500 --> 00:40:47.580
 relationships and you don't know

00:40:47.580 --> 00:40:49.180
 what to do or how to do it.

00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:50.280
 And sometimes you wait longer

00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:51.240
 than you should and sometimes

00:40:51.240 --> 00:40:52.340
 you do it too quickly.

00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:53.460
 But amidst all of that, we're

00:40:53.460 --> 00:40:55.720
 trusting the Lord to give us

00:40:55.720 --> 00:40:56.460
 mercy and grace.

00:40:56.780 --> 00:40:57.960
 One of the passages that sticks

00:40:57.960 --> 00:40:59.220
 up often and we use it as

00:40:59.220 --> 00:41:00.780
 elders, so us three are elders

00:41:00.780 --> 00:41:03.140
 here, is the passage in

00:41:03.140 --> 00:41:03.800
 Matthew 18.

00:41:04.460 --> 00:41:05.600
 And it says really clearly that

00:41:05.600 --> 00:41:06.580
 if your brother sins against

00:41:06.580 --> 00:41:08.700
 you, go and tell him his fault

00:41:08.700 --> 00:41:10.000
 between you and him alone.

00:41:10.080 --> 00:41:11.220
 So it's just the two of those

00:41:11.220 --> 00:41:12.260
 people in that conflict.

00:41:12.940 --> 00:41:13.900
 If he listens to you, you've

00:41:13.900 --> 00:41:14.420
 gained your brother.

00:41:14.840 --> 00:41:15.860
 But if he doesn't listen to you,

00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:17.220
 take one or two others along

00:41:17.220 --> 00:41:19.160
 with you that every charge may

00:41:19.159 --> 00:41:20.339
 be established by the evidence

00:41:20.339 --> 00:41:21.339
 of two or three witnesses.

00:41:21.719 --> 00:41:22.920
 This goes back to the Old

00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:23.279
 Testament.

00:41:23.539 --> 00:41:24.960
 It's the idea that prophets

00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:26.399
 were not really prophets until

00:41:26.399 --> 00:41:28.119
 they were validified or before

00:41:28.119 --> 00:41:29.460
 they were affirmed by at least

00:41:29.460 --> 00:41:30.339
 two other witnesses.

00:41:31.119 --> 00:41:32.259
 And so that was always this

00:41:32.259 --> 00:41:33.139
 idea that you bring other

00:41:33.139 --> 00:41:33.899
 people in there.

00:41:35.319 --> 00:41:36.440
 If he doesn't listen to you in

00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:37.599
 verse 16, take one or two

00:41:37.599 --> 00:41:38.500
 other witnesses along with you

00:41:38.500 --> 00:41:39.599
 and if every charge may be

00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:40.659
 established by the evidence of

00:41:40.659 --> 00:41:41.319
 two or three witnesses.

00:41:41.799 --> 00:41:43.539
 If he refuses, verse 17, to

00:41:43.539 --> 00:41:45.819
 listen to you then, tell it to

00:41:45.819 --> 00:41:46.359
 the church.

00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:48.220
 And if he refuses to listen

00:41:48.220 --> 00:41:49.599
 even to the church, let him be

00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:51.300
 to you as a Gentile and a tax

00:41:51.300 --> 00:41:51.640
 collector.

00:41:52.120 --> 00:41:54.000
 So we want to just talk really

00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.260
 briefly about this idea of

00:41:56.260 --> 00:41:57.440
 church discipline.

00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:59.079
 And it's important, again, to

00:41:59.079 --> 00:42:00.120
 remember that discipline is

00:42:00.120 --> 00:42:01.300
 always done with the idea of

00:42:01.300 --> 00:42:03.140
 restoring each other.

00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:05.420
 It's not the idea of punishing,

00:42:06.019 --> 00:42:06.760
 but it's the idea of bringing

00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:07.579
 people back.

00:42:08.380 --> 00:42:09.400
 And so we've been praying about

00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:10.440
 this as we look at Scripture.

00:42:10.840 --> 00:42:12.260
 And the Bible makes it really

00:42:12.260 --> 00:42:13.559
 clear that we practice church

00:42:13.559 --> 00:42:15.420
 discipline for the good of the

00:42:15.420 --> 00:42:17.400
 person who's in trouble.

00:42:18.299 --> 00:42:19.579
 We practice church discipline

00:42:19.579 --> 00:42:21.659
 for the good of non-Christians

00:42:21.659 --> 00:42:23.420
 because it says the world is

00:42:23.420 --> 00:42:24.579
 looking at us as a church and

00:42:24.579 --> 00:42:26.139
 trying to see are we consistent?

00:42:26.299 --> 00:42:27.159
 Are our words true?

00:42:27.820 --> 00:42:28.860
 Are we hypocrites?

00:42:29.519 --> 00:42:30.420
 Or are we truthful?

00:42:31.380 --> 00:42:33.239
 And that we practice church

00:42:33.239 --> 00:42:34.860
 discipline ultimately and above

00:42:34.860 --> 00:42:37.199
 all for the glory of Christ.

00:42:37.380 --> 00:42:39.159
 That the idea is that it's about

00:42:39.159 --> 00:42:40.759
 Christ's name and making his name

00:42:40.759 --> 00:42:41.139
 great.

00:42:41.139 --> 00:42:42.960
 And as leaders and parents,

00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:45.139
 sometimes we find it really hard

00:42:45.139 --> 00:42:46.480
 to do this because we like to be

00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:47.619
 liked and we don't want to be

00:42:47.619 --> 00:42:49.699
 seen as not liked.

00:42:49.940 --> 00:42:50.940
 And, you know, I think even in

00:42:50.940 --> 00:42:52.239
 church as a pastor, we struggle

00:42:52.239 --> 00:42:54.159
 with, I use this word often, we

00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:54.879
 want to be sexy.

00:42:55.019 --> 00:42:55.799
 We want to be fun.

00:42:55.900 --> 00:42:57.139
 And we want to be, everybody

00:42:57.139 --> 00:42:57.639
 loves us.

00:42:57.659 --> 00:42:58.199
 And it's the place where

00:42:58.199 --> 00:42:59.319
 everybody loves and everybody's

00:42:59.319 --> 00:43:00.500
 loved and everybody comes

00:43:00.500 --> 00:43:00.819
 together.

00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:02.099
 And sometimes when we do that,

00:43:03.059 --> 00:43:06.019
 we create a God that's so small

00:43:06.019 --> 00:43:08.699
 that we can control him.

00:43:10.599 --> 00:43:11.480
 He's so small.

00:43:12.619 --> 00:43:15.340
 Scripture says God is massive.

00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:18.579
 You know, to take away one thing,

00:43:18.659 --> 00:43:20.659
 then we take away who God is.

00:43:20.739 --> 00:43:21.860
 And so as we prayed about what

00:43:21.860 --> 00:43:24.400
 we're going to do, along the

00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:26.139
 lines of just coming and sharing

00:43:26.139 --> 00:43:27.519
 these things with you, we

00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:28.920
 struggle with should we not even

00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:29.719
 share anything?

00:43:29.719 --> 00:43:32.419
 And as we look at scripture, it

00:43:32.419 --> 00:43:34.219
 says, what does it stand for us to

00:43:34.219 --> 00:43:36.079
 lose as a church if we don't help

00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:36.500
 each other?

00:43:37.119 --> 00:43:38.500
 One of the things it says is we

00:43:38.500 --> 00:43:40.199
 stand to lose the blessing and

00:43:40.199 --> 00:43:41.179
 favor of God.

00:43:42.319 --> 00:43:43.639
 But God has called us as a church

00:43:43.639 --> 00:43:44.839
 to act certain ways.

00:43:45.459 --> 00:43:47.679
 And if we don't do that, scripture

00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:48.859
 is really clear that God will

00:43:48.859 --> 00:43:52.219
 remove his blessing from us.

00:43:53.319 --> 00:43:54.839
 That's a huge mandate even for

00:43:54.839 --> 00:43:55.319
 fathers.

00:43:56.139 --> 00:43:57.359
 Fathers are called to act a

00:43:57.359 --> 00:43:57.899
 certain way.

00:43:57.900 --> 00:44:00.019
 And if we don't, scripture says

00:44:00.019 --> 00:44:02.220
 that God will remove the blessing

00:44:02.220 --> 00:44:04.139
 that he stores for us as dads

00:44:04.139 --> 00:44:05.880
 over all of our family.

00:44:07.019 --> 00:44:08.579
 And so if we don't discipline, if

00:44:08.579 --> 00:44:09.980
 we don't talk about everything in

00:44:09.980 --> 00:44:11.160
 scripture, then we lose God's

00:44:11.160 --> 00:44:11.900
 blessing and favor.

00:44:12.460 --> 00:44:13.519
 The second thing we lose is we

00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:14.880
 lose just fallen members, the

00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:15.760
 people who are in sin.

00:44:16.920 --> 00:44:18.300
 Because more often than not, what

00:44:18.300 --> 00:44:19.320
 I've seen is if we don't talk

00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:20.480
 about sin, if we don't deal with

00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.320
 sin, people continue to walk in

00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:24.160
 sin, and eventually they just give

00:44:24.160 --> 00:44:25.099
 up and walk away.

00:44:26.280 --> 00:44:27.720
 Because no one cares about me.

00:44:27.719 --> 00:44:29.519
 No one wants to say the hard

00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:29.879
 things.

00:44:29.980 --> 00:44:32.059
 No one loves me enough to come

00:44:32.059 --> 00:44:32.839
 alongside of me.

00:44:33.719 --> 00:44:36.019
 I think we lose faithful members

00:44:36.019 --> 00:44:38.319
 in the church if we don't talk

00:44:38.319 --> 00:44:39.059
 about everything.

00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:40.819
 Because there's some of us who

00:44:40.819 --> 00:44:42.859
 really desire to walk with the

00:44:42.859 --> 00:44:45.559
 Lord and please him in all areas

00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:47.079
 of life, even in our fallenness

00:44:47.079 --> 00:44:47.919
 and our brokenness.

00:44:48.659 --> 00:44:49.719
 And if we're not a member of a

00:44:49.719 --> 00:44:52.179
 body that has that in their DNA,

00:44:52.859 --> 00:44:54.439
 but we just turn our backs, then

00:44:54.439 --> 00:44:56.359
 the faithful people, you don't want

00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:57.660
 to be a part of a family that isn't

00:44:57.660 --> 00:44:58.160
 a family.

00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:00.519
 You don't want to be a part of a

00:45:00.519 --> 00:45:02.400
 family that's just a club.

00:45:04.340 --> 00:45:05.820
 And so sometimes we lose faithful

00:45:05.820 --> 00:45:07.980
 people if we don't talk about

00:45:07.980 --> 00:45:08.480
 everything.

00:45:09.220 --> 00:45:10.620
 Sometimes we can lose our witness

00:45:10.620 --> 00:45:12.240
 before the world watching us.

00:45:13.240 --> 00:45:15.180
 If you're like me and I share and I

00:45:15.180 --> 00:45:16.920
 talk to people often in my world,

00:45:17.300 --> 00:45:18.720
 one of the biggest reasons most of

00:45:18.720 --> 00:45:19.820
 my friends say I don't want anything

00:45:19.820 --> 00:45:22.000
 to do with Christianity is because

00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.000
 everybody's a hypocrite and everybody

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:26.059
 lives inconsistently.

00:45:27.019 --> 00:45:28.079
 And they say one thing but they do

00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:29.420
 the other thing and that's also true

00:45:29.420 --> 00:45:30.699
 with the church.

00:45:31.340 --> 00:45:33.360
 And again, we're all broken, we're all

00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:34.480
 sinful, we're all fallen.

00:45:34.739 --> 00:45:38.260
 But we don't want to be known as

00:45:38.260 --> 00:45:40.460
 people who don't walk consistently and

00:45:40.460 --> 00:45:41.880
 struggle in our walk with the Lord.

00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:45.119
 Because if we don't do that, then we

00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:47.639
 have nothing to say to our friends,

00:45:47.739 --> 00:45:49.099
 especially in their time of need.

00:45:49.099 --> 00:45:52.019
 And finally, what I think we lose if

00:45:52.019 --> 00:45:54.779
 we don't bring in discipline, we

00:45:54.779 --> 00:45:57.739
 don't talk about hard things, we lose

00:45:57.739 --> 00:45:59.519
 just our authority to speak God's

00:45:59.519 --> 00:45:59.819
 word.

00:46:02.079 --> 00:46:04.699
 And if I were doing a sin over and

00:46:04.699 --> 00:46:07.179
 over and over again, I would have no

00:46:07.179 --> 00:46:08.519
 authority to come up here and preach

00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:09.839
 to you on those things.

00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:12.159
 That if I lived a lifestyle that was

00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:17.059
 contrary to what I'm preaching, I've

00:46:17.059 --> 00:46:18.619
 lost God's blessing and authority.

00:46:19.900 --> 00:46:21.159
 Because so much, it's not just my

00:46:21.159 --> 00:46:23.599
 words that I say, my words I, but it's

00:46:23.599 --> 00:46:25.239
 God's spirit speaking through those

00:46:25.239 --> 00:46:25.679
 words.

00:46:26.819 --> 00:46:30.119
 And if we don't teach everything, then

00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:32.839
 we've lost an authority to speak

00:46:32.839 --> 00:46:34.339
 anything.

00:46:34.340 --> 00:46:34.460
 All right.

00:46:34.460 --> 00:46:35.460
 All right.