WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.660 And so this evening we come to the second of three studies of individual encouragement. 00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:10.480 ! And so tonight we're going to look at the practice of encouragement. 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:15.800 ! You remember last time, two weeks ago, we looked at the need to encourage one another. 00:00:16.800 --> 00:00:18.879 And so what is the absence of encouragement? 00:00:20.480 --> 00:00:21.240 That's what leads. 00:00:22.859 --> 00:00:24.719 Secondly, there's a Christian duty. 00:00:25.140 --> 00:00:26.379 It's a command by God. 00:00:26.379 --> 00:00:30.399 Secondly, it's a reflection of the nature of who God is. 00:00:31.699 --> 00:00:35.500 Because it's the most powerful and beneficial force in people's lives. 00:00:36.920 --> 00:00:38.439 And I hope that you've thought about that. 00:00:38.539 --> 00:00:39.640 I hope that you take it seriously. 00:00:40.519 --> 00:00:41.500 I hope you agree with that. 00:00:41.739 --> 00:00:42.299 I hope you believe it. 00:00:43.259 --> 00:00:44.879 But God wants us to encourage one another. 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:47.439 And that's what God wants from us. 00:00:48.939 --> 00:00:50.719 And so I want us to think, how are we going to do it? 00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:54.700 How can we, how can you, how can I become encouragers? 00:00:54.700 --> 00:00:56.380 As the Lord wants to agree. 00:00:56.440 --> 00:00:57.900 And there's no instant answers, are there? 00:00:58.420 --> 00:01:03.420 I can't give you five or six pieces of advice that are going to turn you into tomorrow morning. 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:05.320 A skilled encourager of people. 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:06.820 It takes time to learn. 00:01:07.939 --> 00:01:10.820 And in many ways it takes a lifetime of experience and wisdom. 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.379 And the longer we go on in the Christian life, the more sensitive and skilled we become. 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:16.780 And encouraging other people. 00:01:16.780 --> 00:01:20.560 What I want to do tonight is I want to give six suggestions to you. 00:01:20.960 --> 00:01:22.920 About how you can become an encourager. 00:01:24.579 --> 00:01:28.980 And these suggestions I hope are good and helpful are not only for encouraging. 00:01:29.099 --> 00:01:30.980 But actually how we grow as Christians in general. 00:01:32.099 --> 00:01:32.840 First one. 00:01:34.219 --> 00:01:34.620 Consideration. 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:36.760 They all begin with C, which should help hard. 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:38.000 Consideration. 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:41.000 So get the Bible and look at this. 00:01:41.060 --> 00:01:42.780 Hebrews 10, verse 24 and 25. 00:01:42.780 --> 00:01:46.980 And there's clearly a link with encouragement there. 00:01:47.060 --> 00:01:49.120 Hebrews 10, verse 24 and 25. 00:01:49.540 --> 00:01:50.280 So verse 24. 00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:52.420 Let us consider how to steer one another out. 00:01:53.460 --> 00:01:54.939 Let us consider one another. 00:01:55.960 --> 00:01:59.540 And then a few words later, in verse 25, encourage one another. 00:02:01.520 --> 00:02:03.920 And so encouragement begins with considering one another. 00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:04.980 It's pretty obvious. 00:02:04.980 --> 00:02:10.140 And literally it means to focus on, to think intently about. 00:02:11.259 --> 00:02:12.539 Let's think about one another. 00:02:13.659 --> 00:02:18.280 Let's turn away from focusing on our own interests and ourselves and our own needs and our own desires. 00:02:18.420 --> 00:02:21.300 And turn our minds to our brothers and sisters in Christ. 00:02:22.780 --> 00:02:26.180 In 1546 there's a Polish astronomer called Nicolás Copernicus. 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:29.340 He published a book in Latin which changed the world. 00:02:29.340 --> 00:02:34.939 And in that book he showed that the earth was not the central planet in the system as people thought at the time. 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:37.259 But in fact the sun was the central planet. 00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:39.759 And the sun did not go around the earth. 00:02:40.420 --> 00:02:41.580 But the earth went around the sun. 00:02:42.480 --> 00:02:44.360 It's called, isn't it, the Copernican Revolution. 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.719 And all the textbooks in Europe had to be changed. 00:02:47.860 --> 00:02:51.140 All the university lecturers had to scrap their notes and start again. 00:02:51.560 --> 00:02:53.219 Maps had to be redrawn. 00:02:53.699 --> 00:02:55.939 Poets and theologians began to think differently. 00:02:56.840 --> 00:02:59.039 Copernicus, by one discovery, changed the world. 00:02:59.340 --> 00:03:02.300 He changed how people saw reality. 00:03:03.960 --> 00:03:07.879 And I think that we need some kind of Copernican revolution in our spiritual lives. 00:03:09.140 --> 00:03:13.219 Because we can be so easily like those folk, can't we, who thought the earth was the centre of everything. 00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:17.960 We naturally think, don't we, we are the centre of everything. 00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:20.340 How does this feel to me? 00:03:20.920 --> 00:03:22.020 What did I get out of it? 00:03:22.060 --> 00:03:22.920 How did this affect me? 00:03:23.020 --> 00:03:24.319 Am I being satisfied? 00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:29.120 And this verse says we need to get away from being selfish and self-centred. 00:03:29.960 --> 00:03:31.659 And focus on the needs of other people. 00:03:32.740 --> 00:03:35.120 To build our lives around the needs of others. 00:03:36.219 --> 00:03:37.060 And our own needs. 00:03:37.140 --> 00:03:38.280 To realise that people are hurting. 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:40.060 People are lonely. 00:03:40.199 --> 00:03:40.980 People are discouraged. 00:03:42.340 --> 00:03:43.379 People fall into sin. 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:46.640 People like you and I are weak in our faith. 00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:47.839 And they may be overburdened. 00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:49.199 And they may feel useless. 00:03:50.899 --> 00:03:52.559 And this is the beginning of Christian wisdom. 00:03:52.659 --> 00:03:55.559 And I think it's got profound roots in our faith to consider others. 00:03:56.659 --> 00:03:59.099 King Solomon was the wisest man in the Old Testament, wasn't he? 00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:02.019 And he was given a gift of wisdom by God. 00:04:02.099 --> 00:04:04.079 Do you remember the famous incident, wasn't it? 00:04:04.519 --> 00:04:06.180 Remember the two women with the two babies? 00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:08.939 One was alive and one was dead. 00:04:09.019 --> 00:04:11.500 And both women claimed the live baby. 00:04:11.500 --> 00:04:15.080 And Solomon has got to decide who was the true mother. 00:04:15.219 --> 00:04:16.019 How did he decide? 00:04:17.319 --> 00:04:18.740 How did Solomon come to that decision? 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:19.720 Well it's very simple, isn't it? 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:21.500 He put himself in the position of a mother. 00:04:23.160 --> 00:04:26.560 He said to himself, if I were the mother of the living baby, how would I feel? 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:27.899 How would I react? 00:04:29.660 --> 00:04:32.339 And when he offered to cut the baby in two weeks, it soon became very obvious. 00:04:32.339 --> 00:04:34.120 It was very obvious who the mother of the baby was. 00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:38.399 He put himself in the other person's place and we are Christians. 00:04:39.340 --> 00:04:40.160 Why are you a Christian? 00:04:41.660 --> 00:04:46.840 You are a Christian because somebody else has put himself in your place, the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:04:48.579 --> 00:04:51.019 I think it's a confoundedly Christian thing. 00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:53.720 To take the place of other people. 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:58.699 And what the writer to the Hebrew says is, do that in your own activation, do that in your thinking. 00:04:59.019 --> 00:05:01.240 How would I like to be treated if I was in that position? 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:03.740 Well that is costly, isn't it? 00:05:03.740 --> 00:05:06.120 Because often we feel we need to be cared for. 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:08.160 And we need to be encouraged. 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:12.139 How can I encourage someone else when I need to be encouraged? 00:05:12.699 --> 00:05:16.900 How can I minister to other people when my needs, well they're crying out for satisfaction. 00:05:18.460 --> 00:05:20.800 And again it brings us back to the principle of the cross, doesn't it? 00:05:20.960 --> 00:05:23.620 We save our lives by losing them. 00:05:25.100 --> 00:05:27.800 We save our lives by throwing them away. 00:05:27.800 --> 00:05:31.699 We gain ourselves by dying to ourselves. 00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:34.340 And forgetting ourselves. 00:05:35.860 --> 00:05:40.639 And that person is the most fulfilled and the most God honouring and the most God glorifying. 00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:42.639 Who forgets about himself or herself. 00:05:43.900 --> 00:05:45.860 And gives themselves to other people. 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:50.600 And then they find it a very wonderful way that their needs have been met. 00:05:50.680 --> 00:05:52.720 And they've been encouraged and comforted. 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:54.080 We have to consider other people. 00:05:54.079 --> 00:05:58.079 We have to think about other people. 00:05:59.740 --> 00:06:00.819 And try to encourage them. 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:05.579 Let me bring in a kind of noted caution and warning. 00:06:05.699 --> 00:06:06.699 Don't go to extremes. 00:06:06.860 --> 00:06:09.099 I don't want you going home and thinking. 00:06:09.300 --> 00:06:11.759 Now next Sunday morning when I go to church. 00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:14.399 I am going to encourage every single person I meet. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:17.620 And if I start to see somebody who isn't smiling and grieving. 00:06:17.819 --> 00:06:19.879 I'm going to rush over to them instantly and say. 00:06:20.279 --> 00:06:22.799 Tell me your problems as I develop them with a hack. 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:26.980 Why don't you share your burdens with me. 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:33.400 It is very, very easy for nosiness and curiosity to come in and spoil something that is good and godly. 00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:37.720 I like you have met other Christians. 00:06:37.939 --> 00:06:40.960 Some people who are obsessed to know about other Christians. 00:06:42.420 --> 00:06:45.620 They feel they need to know what is going on in other people's lives. 00:06:46.780 --> 00:06:49.259 And there's many times when it's not appropriate to talk to someone. 00:06:49.259 --> 00:06:52.659 Sometimes when it's right to my own business. 00:06:55.139 --> 00:06:58.339 Sometimes when we see someone it is just right to pray for them isn't it? 00:06:59.379 --> 00:07:02.159 Without even having to tell them we're praying for them sometimes. 00:07:03.159 --> 00:07:03.879 We need wisdom. 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:09.439 It's a mutual mystery isn't it? 00:07:10.939 --> 00:07:13.219 It's not that there are two groups within the church. 00:07:13.339 --> 00:07:15.399 There are not the group of encouragers. 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:18.079 And the other group who are the discouraged. 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.019 Who need encouragement. 00:07:20.159 --> 00:07:21.040 That is what we might think. 00:07:21.139 --> 00:07:21.959 But that's not the case. 00:07:22.319 --> 00:07:23.339 We all need encouragement. 00:07:24.980 --> 00:07:26.980 And we are all able to encourage. 00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:27.920 I love that. 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:30.780 A marvelous tact and wisdom of the Apostle Paul. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:33.000 Paul in Romans chapter 1. 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:37.620 Where he's writing to Christians that he's never met. 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:38.900 Listen to what he says. 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:41.180 Paul in Romans chapter 1. 00:07:42.200 --> 00:07:44.420 And he says to Christians that he's never met. 00:07:45.700 --> 00:07:49.800 For I long to you that I might impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you. 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:53.139 That you may be established. 00:07:53.280 --> 00:07:53.879 Verse 11. 00:07:54.900 --> 00:07:57.680 That is that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. 00:07:57.780 --> 00:07:58.759 Both yours and mine. 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:04.500 I long to see you that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you. 00:08:05.580 --> 00:08:08.120 That is that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. 00:08:08.180 --> 00:08:10.400 You see the graciousness of this man the Apostle Paul. 00:08:10.699 --> 00:08:11.639 He's not saying is he. 00:08:11.900 --> 00:08:12.660 You poor. 00:08:13.139 --> 00:08:14.540 You poor Romans. 00:08:14.980 --> 00:08:17.220 You've never had the privilege of hearing me preach. 00:08:17.220 --> 00:08:18.340 I have got good news. 00:08:18.339 --> 00:08:19.799 I am coming to you. 00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:22.779 No he says I am coming to encourage you. 00:08:23.939 --> 00:08:26.519 And as I do that I believe you will encourage me. 00:08:28.359 --> 00:08:30.060 And that's our first avenue to consider. 00:08:30.199 --> 00:08:30.979 To think of other people. 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:35.459 To stop being wrapped up in ourselves. 00:08:36.039 --> 00:08:39.159 The person who is wrapped up in himself is a very small parcel. 00:08:40.539 --> 00:08:43.279 And we need to start looking out to the needs of others. 00:08:44.899 --> 00:08:46.879 The first avenue of approach is commendation. 00:08:48.340 --> 00:08:50.780 Consideration. 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:52.480 Commendation. 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:53.460 To build up other Christians. 00:08:53.560 --> 00:08:54.960 Not in a selfish sinful way. 00:08:55.019 --> 00:08:56.220 But to commend them and praise them. 00:08:57.100 --> 00:08:58.019 To thank them. 00:08:58.759 --> 00:08:59.120 Commendation. 00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:02.720 To express our appreciation of them and of Christ's grace in them. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:06.360 You know I say. 00:09:07.500 --> 00:09:09.000 Just as it comes to me with me. 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:12.679 Are we really meant to commend one another? 00:09:12.779 --> 00:09:15.679 Isn't the Christian life what humility? 00:09:16.139 --> 00:09:17.899 Should we all be trying to be a little bit more humble? 00:09:20.519 --> 00:09:21.580 If I commend this person. 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:23.179 Would it make them just a little bit big headed? 00:09:23.299 --> 00:09:23.759 Well it might. 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:25.539 We must be careful. 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:29.419 But we come back to the question of balance don't we? 00:09:29.419 --> 00:09:32.360 There is sound. 00:09:32.679 --> 00:09:33.120 Biblical. 00:09:34.319 --> 00:09:34.719 Evidence. 00:09:34.860 --> 00:09:36.679 For commendation of our brothers and sisters. 00:09:37.379 --> 00:09:37.959 In Christ. 00:09:39.079 --> 00:09:42.319 The Lord Jesus had no inhibitions at all. 00:09:42.419 --> 00:09:44.159 About commanding his followers. 00:09:44.519 --> 00:09:46.259 About making them feel good. 00:09:47.439 --> 00:09:50.259 So he said to a few humble limited fishermen. 00:09:50.699 --> 00:09:52.379 He said you are the salt of the earth. 00:09:53.079 --> 00:09:53.599 He said to them. 00:09:53.679 --> 00:09:54.159 You. 00:09:54.959 --> 00:09:56.219 Are the light of the world. 00:09:56.220 --> 00:09:58.240 You are people of immense significance and value. 00:09:59.580 --> 00:10:00.980 You are people with a glorious destiny. 00:10:01.139 --> 00:10:02.080 With a significant task. 00:10:02.220 --> 00:10:03.420 Paul takes a similar approach. 00:10:05.460 --> 00:10:06.820 People think of the Apostle Paul. 00:10:06.940 --> 00:10:08.180 All those harsh. 00:10:08.340 --> 00:10:08.720 Or steered. 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:09.399 Or grim. 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:10.820 And yet when you read his letters. 00:10:11.139 --> 00:10:12.480 Nothing can be further from the truth. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:14.860 He is constantly commending and praising. 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:17.399 So he is building up the church to whom he is writing. 00:10:17.680 --> 00:10:19.519 So he writes his favourite church. 00:10:19.940 --> 00:10:21.740 In Philippians chapter 1 verse 3. 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:22.180 And he says. 00:10:22.180 --> 00:10:23.240 I thank my God. 00:10:23.300 --> 00:10:24.420 And all my remembrance of you. 00:10:24.540 --> 00:10:25.680 Always and every prayer. 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:26.639 Replying for all of you. 00:10:26.719 --> 00:10:28.039 Making my prayer with joy. 00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:30.459 Because of your partnership with the gospel. 00:10:31.079 --> 00:10:32.359 From the first day until now. 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:32.799 Well. 00:10:33.079 --> 00:10:33.439 You might say. 00:10:33.479 --> 00:10:34.359 Well that's his favourite church. 00:10:34.439 --> 00:10:34.719 Isn't it? 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:37.139 But then he writes to Christians. 00:10:37.299 --> 00:10:38.419 To Christians he's never met. 00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:39.039 In Romans 1. 00:10:40.339 --> 00:10:41.639 Romans 1 verse 8 says. 00:10:41.979 --> 00:10:43.099 First I thank my God. 00:10:43.179 --> 00:10:43.859 Through Jesus Christ. 00:10:43.899 --> 00:10:44.579 For all of you. 00:10:44.959 --> 00:10:46.339 Because your faith is proclaimed. 00:10:46.439 --> 00:10:47.120 In all the world. 00:10:48.599 --> 00:10:49.779 That's tremendously positive. 00:10:49.779 --> 00:10:50.159 Isn't it? 00:10:51.899 --> 00:10:52.879 As you read that. 00:10:52.959 --> 00:10:53.240 As a church. 00:10:53.399 --> 00:10:54.379 I thank my God. 00:10:54.459 --> 00:10:55.079 Through Jesus Christ. 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:55.500 For all of you. 00:10:55.560 --> 00:10:57.000 Because your faith is being proclaimed. 00:10:57.220 --> 00:10:58.280 All over the world. 00:11:00.860 --> 00:11:01.759 That gives us. 00:11:01.820 --> 00:11:02.240 In these Christians. 00:11:02.400 --> 00:11:04.060 A warm feeling of appreciation. 00:11:05.100 --> 00:11:05.879 He's praising them. 00:11:05.920 --> 00:11:06.700 He's commanding them. 00:11:06.860 --> 00:11:07.720 Not for themselves. 00:11:07.940 --> 00:11:09.300 But for God's grace in them. 00:11:11.500 --> 00:11:12.480 Paul is one of those people. 00:11:12.620 --> 00:11:12.940 Flattering. 00:11:13.100 --> 00:11:13.639 He's not a man. 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:13.940 He's not a man. 00:11:13.940 --> 00:11:14.400 He's not a man. 00:11:14.400 --> 00:11:14.680 He's not a man. 00:11:14.680 --> 00:11:14.860 He's not a man. 00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:14.900 He's not a man. 00:11:14.900 --> 00:11:14.980 He's not a man. 00:11:14.980 --> 00:11:15.080 He's not a man. 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:15.080 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:15.360 He's not a man. 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:15.639 He's a man. 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:16.000 He's a man. 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:16.960 He's a strong apostle. 00:11:17.100 --> 00:11:17.920 But he commands them. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:20.480 He writes to the Ephesians. 00:11:20.580 --> 00:11:20.800 He says. 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:21.479 For this reason. 00:11:21.539 --> 00:11:22.979 Because I fear of your faith. 00:11:23.059 --> 00:11:23.740 In the Lord Jesus. 00:11:23.939 --> 00:11:24.699 And your love. 00:11:24.779 --> 00:11:25.819 Towards all the saints. 00:11:26.179 --> 00:11:27.659 I do not cease to give thanks to you. 00:11:27.719 --> 00:11:29.019 Remembering you in my prayers. 00:11:29.019 --> 00:11:33.199 So let me ask you. 00:11:33.259 --> 00:11:35.079 When did you last say to a friend. 00:11:36.779 --> 00:11:37.779 What are your parents? 00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:40.279 Your brother or your sister? 00:11:41.740 --> 00:11:42.980 I thank God for you. 00:11:44.079 --> 00:11:44.860 And I pray for you. 00:11:46.199 --> 00:11:47.419 I give thanks. 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:49.539 That I know you. 00:11:50.319 --> 00:11:51.019 As a friend. 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:54.399 And what you've meant in my life. 00:11:55.819 --> 00:11:56.720 And Paul did that. 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:59.360 Even when he's writing. 00:11:59.879 --> 00:12:00.340 To a church. 00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:01.440 Which has got serious problems. 00:12:01.680 --> 00:12:02.100 In Corinth. 00:12:02.420 --> 00:12:03.960 There's serious issues out there. 00:12:04.040 --> 00:12:04.300 In Corinth. 00:12:04.420 --> 00:12:05.379 Doctrine and land moral. 00:12:05.680 --> 00:12:06.120 But he says. 00:12:06.300 --> 00:12:07.899 There's one. 00:12:07.899 --> 00:12:08.700 Print is one verse. 00:12:08.820 --> 00:12:09.879 For I give thanks to my God. 00:12:09.940 --> 00:12:11.160 Always for you. 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:12.320 Because of the grace. 00:12:12.860 --> 00:12:13.379 Of God. 00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:14.000 That was given to you. 00:12:14.060 --> 00:12:14.680 In Christ Jesus. 00:12:14.800 --> 00:12:15.639 That in every way. 00:12:15.700 --> 00:12:16.700 You were enriched in him. 00:12:16.700 --> 00:12:17.720 In all speech. 00:12:17.820 --> 00:12:18.560 And all knowledge. 00:12:20.300 --> 00:12:21.080 We would say. 00:12:21.320 --> 00:12:22.440 Stay on Paul. 00:12:23.620 --> 00:12:24.700 These people are. 00:12:24.940 --> 00:12:25.700 They are involved. 00:12:25.700 --> 00:12:27.120 They are involved in heresy. 00:12:27.660 --> 00:12:28.440 There's a bloke. 00:12:28.520 --> 00:12:30.160 Sleeping with his father's wife. 00:12:30.259 --> 00:12:31.020 There's immorality. 00:12:31.160 --> 00:12:32.020 The church is divided. 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:33.160 They're fighting each other. 00:12:33.259 --> 00:12:33.820 And you say. 00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:34.640 I thank God. 00:12:35.180 --> 00:12:35.500 For you. 00:12:36.020 --> 00:12:37.080 The gifts he's given you. 00:12:37.180 --> 00:12:37.640 And the grace. 00:12:37.780 --> 00:12:38.379 That you've shown. 00:12:40.140 --> 00:12:40.840 First of all. 00:12:40.980 --> 00:12:42.360 Paul is going to have some really hard things. 00:12:42.420 --> 00:12:43.160 To say to them. 00:12:43.400 --> 00:12:44.500 He's going to rebuke them. 00:12:44.500 --> 00:12:45.140 He's going to say. 00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:46.420 You should be ashamed of yourselves. 00:12:46.540 --> 00:12:47.500 In lots of ways. 00:12:47.820 --> 00:12:48.300 He's going to say. 00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:49.220 You are wrong. 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:51.280 And you need to turn away. 00:12:51.379 --> 00:12:52.040 From your sins. 00:12:52.400 --> 00:12:53.379 He's going to be stern. 00:12:53.379 --> 00:12:54.200 And harsh. 00:12:54.700 --> 00:12:55.620 And severe with them. 00:12:55.659 --> 00:12:56.360 He's going to say to them. 00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:57.860 You better straighten out this situation. 00:12:58.039 --> 00:12:58.200 Because. 00:12:58.539 --> 00:12:59.179 Before I come. 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:00.100 Because when I do it. 00:13:00.139 --> 00:13:00.360 You know. 00:13:00.419 --> 00:13:00.960 There will be trouble. 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:02.820 He's able to honestly. 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:03.779 And genuinely. 00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:05.899 Commend them though. 00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:08.179 He doesn't always do it though. 00:13:08.179 --> 00:13:08.500 Does he? 00:13:09.740 --> 00:13:10.960 There's one book in the New Testament. 00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:11.799 Where he doesn't do it. 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:13.039 The book of Galatians. 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:17.440 There's people that are about to abandon the gospel. 00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:18.559 There's real crisis. 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:19.960 There's no time to compliments. 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:21.440 He's allowed and disturbed. 00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:23.320 But he does it wisely. 00:13:23.660 --> 00:13:24.660 And so powerfully. 00:13:28.340 --> 00:13:29.480 And I think sometimes. 00:13:29.620 --> 00:13:30.680 We can get into a situation. 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:31.880 Where we're afraid. 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:33.140 To commend people. 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:34.280 In case we think. 00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:36.140 It'll somehow make them proud. 00:13:37.420 --> 00:13:38.540 But Paul wasn't afraid. 00:13:39.640 --> 00:13:40.760 And Christ wasn't afraid. 00:13:42.340 --> 00:13:42.780 Actually. 00:13:42.880 --> 00:13:43.200 I want to say. 00:13:43.280 --> 00:13:44.900 I think it's a practical outworking. 00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:46.080 Of the doctrine of justification. 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:46.920 By faith. 00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:49.659 If you are a Christian. 00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:51.139 What is the great reality. 00:13:51.500 --> 00:13:52.240 About you tonight. 00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:55.019 What is the great reality. 00:13:55.019 --> 00:13:55.659 About you tonight. 00:13:55.719 --> 00:13:56.019 You might say. 00:13:56.079 --> 00:13:56.759 Well it's my sin. 00:13:57.419 --> 00:13:58.339 Well that is a reality. 00:13:58.459 --> 00:13:59.479 But it's not the great reality. 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:00.679 It's not the ultimate reality. 00:14:02.139 --> 00:14:03.079 The great reality. 00:14:03.219 --> 00:14:03.799 If you are a Christian. 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:04.299 Is that you. 00:14:04.539 --> 00:14:06.019 Is that you are in Christ. 00:14:07.620 --> 00:14:08.519 And that all your sins. 00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:09.459 Have been washed away. 00:14:09.579 --> 00:14:10.459 In the blood of Christ. 00:14:10.459 --> 00:14:11.179 And at this moment. 00:14:11.299 --> 00:14:11.919 God sees you. 00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:12.539 As holy. 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:13.399 Sinless. 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:14.219 Righteous. 00:14:14.339 --> 00:14:14.879 As perfect. 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:15.980 Because the Lord Jesus is. 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:17.259 That is the reality. 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:19.539 That is the reality. 00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:20.120 And so. 00:14:20.299 --> 00:14:21.000 What is wrong. 00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:22.320 With thanking God. 00:14:22.419 --> 00:14:23.419 For that reality. 00:14:25.100 --> 00:14:26.299 And praising God. 00:14:26.379 --> 00:14:27.159 For that reality. 00:14:27.340 --> 00:14:28.000 And encouraging. 00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:29.039 Our brothers and sisters. 00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:31.419 That that reality. 00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:32.919 Is in their lives. 00:14:34.899 --> 00:14:35.159 And so. 00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:35.500 Remember. 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:36.220 That you are forgiven. 00:14:36.340 --> 00:14:36.580 Remember. 00:14:36.580 --> 00:14:37.580 That you are cleansed. 00:14:37.580 --> 00:14:37.899 Remember. 00:14:38.019 --> 00:14:38.840 That God loves you. 00:14:38.940 --> 00:14:40.299 And holds you close to his heart. 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:40.980 That is the. 00:14:40.980 --> 00:14:42.379 The sort of commendation. 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:42.799 I'm thinking. 00:14:42.980 --> 00:14:43.539 I'm not going to. 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:44.639 Whirly flattery. 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:48.059 But pointing to what God has done. 00:14:48.439 --> 00:14:49.220 For other people. 00:14:49.500 --> 00:14:50.200 And in them. 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:52.200 And using it. 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:52.960 To encourage them. 00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:57.240 We are not responsible. 00:14:57.480 --> 00:14:58.480 For keeping people humble. 00:15:01.460 --> 00:15:02.580 It's a sad thing. 00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:02.960 Isn't it? 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:04.279 When people have a scourge. 00:15:04.600 --> 00:15:05.259 In church life. 00:15:05.340 --> 00:15:06.519 When cold water. 00:15:06.519 --> 00:15:07.600 Is poured on people. 00:15:08.580 --> 00:15:09.360 Someone comes up. 00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:10.500 With an idea. 00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:13.519 Particularly on how to reach out. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:14.419 Reach out. 00:15:14.419 --> 00:15:15.179 To try it before. 00:15:15.899 --> 00:15:16.620 It didn't work then. 00:15:16.679 --> 00:15:17.459 And it won't work now. 00:15:17.699 --> 00:15:18.360 You'll learn. 00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:21.139 It's a bit like that. 00:15:21.259 --> 00:15:21.639 You remember. 00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:22.759 When David went into battle. 00:15:22.959 --> 00:15:23.699 With the Philistines. 00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:24.719 And he asked. 00:15:24.899 --> 00:15:25.240 Didn't he. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:26.919 Who is this. 00:15:27.159 --> 00:15:28.299 Giant Goliath. 00:15:28.979 --> 00:15:30.219 And how is the battle going. 00:15:30.339 --> 00:15:31.019 What's going to be done. 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:31.899 About this Philistine. 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:33.240 Challenging God's army. 00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:35.559 And then his older brother. 00:15:36.919 --> 00:15:37.299 Says. 00:15:37.699 --> 00:15:38.480 One Samuel 17. 00:15:38.539 --> 00:15:38.699 Verse. 00:15:38.699 --> 00:15:39.659 Why have you come down here. 00:15:39.740 --> 00:15:40.679 When did you leave. 00:15:40.759 --> 00:15:41.419 Those few sheep. 00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:41.919 In the wilderness. 00:15:42.179 --> 00:15:43.639 I know how conceited you are. 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:45.059 And how wicked your heart is. 00:15:45.459 --> 00:15:46.099 You came down. 00:15:46.179 --> 00:15:46.719 Only to watch. 00:15:46.959 --> 00:15:47.399 The battle. 00:15:48.059 --> 00:15:48.419 Isn't it? 00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:48.879 Shut up. 00:15:48.959 --> 00:15:49.459 Love a man. 00:15:50.779 --> 00:15:51.559 How discouraging. 00:15:54.959 --> 00:15:56.159 Let me just speak personally. 00:15:56.259 --> 00:15:56.559 For a moment. 00:15:56.699 --> 00:15:58.000 I do want to thank you. 00:15:58.779 --> 00:15:59.679 I think I want to thank you. 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:01.000 On behalf of the elders as well. 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:03.720 Because you are encouraging. 00:16:03.899 --> 00:16:04.980 And commending of your elders. 00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:06.899 In church life. 00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:07.639 People are often. 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:08.500 Quick to complain. 00:16:08.620 --> 00:16:09.600 When there's something wrong. 00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:11.240 People don't often delay. 00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:11.659 In writing. 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:12.759 In letting you know that. 00:16:14.139 --> 00:16:15.139 And yet in many churches. 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:16.259 People are reluctant to commend. 00:16:16.379 --> 00:16:16.980 If I don't say. 00:16:17.100 --> 00:16:17.519 Like you see. 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:20.179 I want to commend you. 00:16:20.340 --> 00:16:21.120 For your commending. 00:16:21.539 --> 00:16:21.879 That's right. 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.639 Now I also don't want you. 00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:25.580 To come to me every Sunday. 00:16:25.700 --> 00:16:25.879 And say. 00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:26.980 Oh that was a really. 00:16:27.179 --> 00:16:27.940 Wonderful sermon. 00:16:29.019 --> 00:16:30.000 From time to time. 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:30.720 Where you are helped. 00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:31.620 It is encouraging. 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:32.519 To say. 00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:33.379 Well I appreciated that. 00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:36.059 God spoke to me in this way. 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:37.679 I never understood this. 00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:38.480 And I do know that. 00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:39.259 That's helpful. 00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:39.500 But. 00:16:40.279 --> 00:16:41.360 Keep on commending. 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:42.600 Commendation. 00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:43.539 Thirdly. 00:16:44.820 --> 00:16:45.179 Consideration. 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:45.779 Commendation. 00:16:45.899 --> 00:16:46.259 Community. 00:16:47.179 --> 00:16:47.539 Community. 00:16:48.580 --> 00:16:50.039 Encouragement comes from Christian Feltschek. 00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:50.659 So come back with me. 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:51.600 Hebrews 10 to 10. 00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:53.460 Hebrews 10 to 10. 00:16:54.139 --> 00:16:54.679 Come on. 00:16:54.759 --> 00:16:55.879 Hebrews 10 to verse 25. 00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:58.379 It's on page 10 to Hebrews 7. 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:03.840 Encouragement comes from Christian Feltschek. 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:05.500 Now this verse. 00:17:05.859 --> 00:17:06.980 I preached on this verse. 00:17:07.339 --> 00:17:09.579 And I don't think I've really understood it until this week. 00:17:09.640 --> 00:17:10.819 So let me give you something. 00:17:10.940 --> 00:17:12.420 Which I think is absolutely great. 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:13.799 We'll be at verse 25. 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:14.859 Of chapter 10. 00:17:14.940 --> 00:17:15.799 Hebrews 10 to 10. 00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:17.720 Not neglecting to meet together. 00:17:17.819 --> 00:17:18.940 As is the habit of some. 00:17:19.819 --> 00:17:20.980 But encourage one another. 00:17:20.980 --> 00:17:22.859 All the more as we see the day approaching. 00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:25.420 What I didn't realise this week. 00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:26.599 Is there opposite something. 00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:28.359 I didn't get it. 00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:30.899 Not neglecting to meet together. 00:17:31.019 --> 00:17:32.379 As is the habit of some. 00:17:32.639 --> 00:17:34.019 But encouraging one another. 00:17:34.099 --> 00:17:35.879 And all the more as you see the day approaching. 00:17:36.959 --> 00:17:38.319 He gives you two contrasts. 00:17:38.339 --> 00:17:38.879 Two opposites. 00:17:38.979 --> 00:17:39.979 Two contradictory things. 00:17:40.299 --> 00:17:41.379 He says on the one hand. 00:17:41.459 --> 00:17:42.799 There's neglecting to meet together. 00:17:43.799 --> 00:17:44.779 But on the other hand. 00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:46.019 There is encouraging one another. 00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:48.059 You can't do both. 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:49.179 Do you understand that? 00:17:49.180 --> 00:17:52.580 So let's play with the verse a little bit. 00:17:52.980 --> 00:17:54.500 If you don't meet together. 00:17:54.680 --> 00:17:56.420 What can you do? 00:17:57.660 --> 00:17:58.299 That's right. 00:17:58.980 --> 00:18:00.380 And if you want to encourage. 00:18:00.580 --> 00:18:01.539 What must you do? 00:18:05.120 --> 00:18:06.299 So I want to say this to you. 00:18:06.340 --> 00:18:07.180 And I want to say this to you. 00:18:07.180 --> 00:18:08.759 As clearly as I possibly can. 00:18:08.840 --> 00:18:10.860 And I want you to say this to other people in our congregation. 00:18:11.100 --> 00:18:13.100 That actually when you don't turn up. 00:18:13.340 --> 00:18:15.539 It is profoundly discouraging. 00:18:15.539 --> 00:18:20.519 I don't want to let people trip on you. 00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:21.379 That sounds very guilty. 00:18:21.539 --> 00:18:22.559 Guilty to do something else. 00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:24.359 But I want you to see. 00:18:24.599 --> 00:18:26.299 That if we want to encourage each other. 00:18:26.420 --> 00:18:27.700 To live the Christian life. 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:29.119 We must meet together. 00:18:31.379 --> 00:18:32.200 John Wesley said. 00:18:32.259 --> 00:18:33.539 The Bible knows nothing. 00:18:33.539 --> 00:18:35.700 Knows nothing of a solitary religion. 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:38.740 It's a great danger of the internet. 00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:39.119 Isn't it? 00:18:39.139 --> 00:18:40.240 You think that actually. 00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:40.740 Because you. 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:43.180 Maybe listen to goodness knows who. 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.019 When you follow great. 00:18:45.539 --> 00:18:45.899 Facebook. 00:18:46.099 --> 00:18:46.740 People like tweets. 00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:48.440 We think that we're going to fellowship. 00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:49.279 But actually we're not. 00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:53.879 In English. 00:18:53.980 --> 00:18:55.019 We no longer distinguish. 00:18:55.180 --> 00:18:56.799 Between the first person singular. 00:18:57.099 --> 00:18:58.359 And the first person plural. 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:00.720 And it's amazing. 00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:01.659 How many of the commands. 00:19:01.799 --> 00:19:02.279 In the New Testament. 00:19:02.399 --> 00:19:04.059 Are in the second person plural. 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:04.839 You. 00:19:05.059 --> 00:19:05.460 Plural. 00:19:07.940 --> 00:19:09.220 I read a sermon a couple of weeks ago. 00:19:09.259 --> 00:19:10.180 Preached on Ephesians 6. 00:19:10.259 --> 00:19:11.279 On the Christian soldier. 00:19:11.819 --> 00:19:12.879 And the fellow preaching. 00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:13.680 Eating his best. 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:16.000 But he preached the whole passage. 00:19:16.140 --> 00:19:17.660 As if it was the first. 00:19:17.840 --> 00:19:18.740 Second person singular. 00:19:19.060 --> 00:19:20.799 You as an individual fight. 00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:22.840 You as one lowly soldier. 00:19:24.140 --> 00:19:25.060 Imagine this guy. 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:26.519 His army fatigued. 00:19:26.620 --> 00:19:27.180 And his gun. 00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:28.740 Marching down Greenford High Street. 00:19:29.320 --> 00:19:29.779 Someone says. 00:19:29.840 --> 00:19:30.240 Where are you going? 00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:31.160 I'm off to fight. 00:19:31.740 --> 00:19:32.660 I ask in Syria. 00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:33.240 It's ridiculous. 00:19:33.860 --> 00:19:35.279 Soldiers don't fight individually. 00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:36.160 They fight together. 00:19:37.460 --> 00:19:39.000 The passage is a corporate body. 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:40.380 We are a body of people. 00:19:40.380 --> 00:19:41.360 We meet together. 00:19:41.500 --> 00:19:42.340 We worship together. 00:19:42.440 --> 00:19:43.260 We pray together. 00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:45.760 We share one another's burdens together. 00:19:46.080 --> 00:19:47.280 We share our resources. 00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:48.500 We ascend all together. 00:19:48.620 --> 00:19:49.840 We encourage one another. 00:19:52.940 --> 00:19:54.740 Some of the bigger reasons why we are first groups. 00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:57.400 The New Testament is. 00:19:57.480 --> 00:19:59.600 It is full of the one another's. 00:20:00.580 --> 00:20:01.660 Don't pray for one another. 00:20:01.780 --> 00:20:03.200 Confess your faults to one another. 00:20:03.360 --> 00:20:04.460 Bear one another's burdens. 00:20:04.760 --> 00:20:06.440 Honor one another above yourselves. 00:20:06.540 --> 00:20:07.160 And so on. 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:11.480 And so if you look at the history of the Christian church. 00:20:11.560 --> 00:20:13.640 The Christian church is always at its strongest. 00:20:13.640 --> 00:20:14.920 When there are meetings. 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:17.680 That are under the supervision of the elders. 00:20:17.940 --> 00:20:19.680 Where Christian men and women come together. 00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.420 And they pray together. 00:20:21.580 --> 00:20:22.420 And they share together. 00:20:23.900 --> 00:20:25.500 Their spiritual experience in their lives. 00:20:25.580 --> 00:20:26.480 And they talk together. 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:27.759 And they encourage one another. 00:20:30.560 --> 00:20:31.500 Scripture says in it. 00:20:31.540 --> 00:20:32.420 Those who fear the Lord. 00:20:32.519 --> 00:20:33.360 Talk to one another. 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:34.640 And the Lord heard it. 00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:38.000 And I think we need to do more of this. 00:20:39.620 --> 00:20:40.700 To meet together. 00:20:40.800 --> 00:20:42.060 With this express purpose. 00:20:42.259 --> 00:20:43.860 Of wanting to encourage one another. 00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:45.040 That's what we're doing in house groups. 00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:46.259 Remember that this Wednesday. 00:20:46.580 --> 00:20:48.400 We are meeting to encourage one another. 00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:53.000 It should be the same. 00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:53.180 It should be the same. 00:20:53.300 --> 00:20:53.860 It's one Sunday. 00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:54.540 Even a sermon. 00:20:54.759 --> 00:20:57.660 When the preacher is kind of denouncing sin. 00:20:57.759 --> 00:20:58.660 And exposing sin. 00:20:58.700 --> 00:20:59.820 It must always be encouraging. 00:21:00.040 --> 00:21:01.480 Because it must end with the cross. 00:21:02.280 --> 00:21:03.000 There ends with forgiveness. 00:21:03.300 --> 00:21:03.900 There's cleansing. 00:21:03.900 --> 00:21:04.660 There's pardon. 00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:06.440 There's new beginning. 00:21:06.560 --> 00:21:07.040 There's hope. 00:21:07.120 --> 00:21:08.240 No matter what subject you take. 00:21:08.259 --> 00:21:09.519 If you preach on the day of judgment. 00:21:10.800 --> 00:21:11.920 There's still a day of grace. 00:21:12.060 --> 00:21:12.340 Isn't there? 00:21:14.100 --> 00:21:14.960 There's a saviour. 00:21:15.080 --> 00:21:15.920 If you will come to him. 00:21:15.960 --> 00:21:16.580 In the day of grace. 00:21:16.620 --> 00:21:17.280 You will be accepted. 00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:17.980 That's encouraging. 00:21:18.300 --> 00:21:19.300 You preach on hell. 00:21:19.380 --> 00:21:21.320 It's a dreadful and fearful subject. 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:22.140 But. 00:21:23.080 --> 00:21:24.820 You don't stop teaching it. 00:21:25.180 --> 00:21:26.460 Until you tell people. 00:21:26.620 --> 00:21:28.480 You don't need to go to hell tonight. 00:21:29.820 --> 00:21:30.980 There's a saviour from hell. 00:21:31.060 --> 00:21:31.900 And you may find you too. 00:21:31.980 --> 00:21:32.640 Well that's encouraging. 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:35.440 And our meetings together. 00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:36.800 Both formal and informal. 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:38.060 For worship and fellowship. 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:39.340 They are meant to be encouraging. 00:21:41.380 --> 00:21:42.840 We should not go out of truth. 00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:43.720 Wased down. 00:21:43.860 --> 00:21:44.440 And burdened. 00:21:44.520 --> 00:21:44.920 And crushed. 00:21:45.040 --> 00:21:45.420 And broken. 00:21:45.560 --> 00:21:47.000 And unable to cope. 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:49.840 No. 00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:51.300 Because Christ lives. 00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:53.940 And today is a day of encouragement. 00:21:55.140 --> 00:21:56.440 Today is a day of grace. 00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:59.880 I can't remember what number of words. 00:21:59.880 --> 00:22:00.680 For control. 00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:00.980 I think. 00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:01.640 Control. 00:22:02.120 --> 00:22:03.120 And I mean by that. 00:22:03.360 --> 00:22:04.279 Control of what we say. 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.059 We touched on this last time. 00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.160 But it's so important isn't it? 00:22:09.180 --> 00:22:11.080 We need to be so careful of our words. 00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:14.419 So you think of the criticism. 00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:15.099 Or the jive. 00:22:15.199 --> 00:22:15.819 Or the put down. 00:22:16.119 --> 00:22:17.500 Or the gossip. 00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:20.679 It's like gossip is one of the great sins of the Christian church. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:22.899 There are Christians who are addicted to it. 00:22:23.819 --> 00:22:25.579 And it's usually unkind gossip. 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:26.740 I mean it's untrue. 00:22:26.740 --> 00:22:30.940 I heard recently. 00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:34.039 One of the most bizarre and ridiculous things told me. 00:22:34.120 --> 00:22:35.700 About an elderly minister. 00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:37.700 And I knew. 00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:38.640 I knew the man. 00:22:38.779 --> 00:22:39.880 I knew there were lies. 00:22:41.779 --> 00:22:42.940 There were lies over each other. 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:44.339 It was what Christine was telling me. 00:22:45.779 --> 00:22:46.559 They were passing it on. 00:22:46.579 --> 00:22:47.559 They'd never met the man. 00:22:47.859 --> 00:22:48.640 I don't know who they did. 00:22:48.740 --> 00:22:50.200 They'd hear it from third aunt. 00:22:50.339 --> 00:22:51.259 Somebody's aunt. 00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:53.579 Seen a brother-in-law on a bus or something. 00:22:53.859 --> 00:22:55.380 You know it gets ridiculous doesn't it? 00:22:57.660 --> 00:22:58.920 And they'd passed it on. 00:22:58.980 --> 00:22:59.680 But it wasn't true. 00:23:00.519 --> 00:23:01.620 And it's terribly serious. 00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:03.059 Gossip is poisonous. 00:23:03.259 --> 00:23:04.420 It breaks people's hearts. 00:23:06.420 --> 00:23:09.039 It causes scars that take years to heal. 00:23:09.099 --> 00:23:11.000 And it is profoundly discouraging. 00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:15.120 Listen to Ephesians chapter 4. 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:16.240 Verse 29. 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:19.039 It says this. 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.339 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths. 00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:23.799 But only such as is good for building up. 00:23:26.740 --> 00:23:29.579 There are no communication proceed down my mouth. 00:23:29.779 --> 00:23:32.140 Except for that which is helpful for building others up. 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:35.579 But it may impart grace to the hearers. 00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:39.799 So easy to know. 00:23:39.859 --> 00:23:42.420 I don't know if you find that I find it so easy to say something that is crude. 00:23:42.620 --> 00:23:43.640 Or that is off colour. 00:23:43.799 --> 00:23:45.220 That is impure and unclean. 00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:46.559 That's virtually damaging. 00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:51.079 So easy to be flippant about sacred things. 00:23:51.179 --> 00:23:53.619 Some of us are gifted or cursed with a sense of humour. 00:23:53.779 --> 00:23:57.639 And how often I have bitterly regretted something I've said which is witty. 00:23:59.159 --> 00:23:59.960 You've got to laugh. 00:24:00.099 --> 00:24:02.059 But then you go home and you think. 00:24:02.159 --> 00:24:03.399 Why did I open my big mouth? 00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:04.259 I wish I hadn't said it. 00:24:04.419 --> 00:24:05.319 We need to be careful. 00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:08.419 We need wisdom. 00:24:08.619 --> 00:24:09.899 Because hurtful speech. 00:24:11.679 --> 00:24:13.279 And pessimistic speech. 00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.159 Well that's a big fault for many of us. 00:24:17.299 --> 00:24:18.720 We're anxious about something. 00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:19.419 So what do we do? 00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:21.939 We unload our anxieties on someone else. 00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:26.639 When I first came here. 00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:30.059 It's kind of struggling to cope with the boos of being the minister. 00:24:30.379 --> 00:24:31.779 I would come home for a church meeting. 00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:33.779 I'm upset or annoyed at something. 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:34.919 I'm clear I would be in bed. 00:24:35.720 --> 00:24:37.179 And she would ask how it went. 00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:38.720 And I would tell her. 00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:40.279 I'd completely offload it. 00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:41.539 I'd tell her everything. 00:24:42.539 --> 00:24:44.619 And then I'd roll over and go blissfully to sleep. 00:24:47.139 --> 00:24:48.579 She would lie looking at the ceiling. 00:24:48.759 --> 00:24:49.439 And all these women are doing. 00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:54.159 So easily can't we spread discouragement. 00:24:56.399 --> 00:24:57.439 It's like a poison. 00:24:57.619 --> 00:24:58.599 An anxiety and poison. 00:24:58.720 --> 00:24:59.700 Bitterness and disappointment. 00:24:59.700 --> 00:25:01.980 We can pass on negative things. 00:25:05.319 --> 00:25:08.000 Churches that you go into. 00:25:08.179 --> 00:25:10.119 And it's kind of this cloud of gloom. 00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:11.019 That depresses people. 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.619 And it creates a depressing atmosphere. 00:25:13.720 --> 00:25:14.879 We find that with children don't we? 00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:17.259 You're on a journey. 00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:19.799 And you get lost. 00:25:20.019 --> 00:25:22.379 And the dad exasperatedly says. 00:25:22.619 --> 00:25:24.460 We're never going to find this place. 00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:27.779 There's a little quivering voice coming from the back of the car. 00:25:28.119 --> 00:25:28.480 Never. 00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.579 Doomed for all eternity. 00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:34.200 To drive around Mid Wales for thousands of years. 00:25:34.819 --> 00:25:35.599 All I meant is. 00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:36.799 It's going to take about ten minutes. 00:25:39.299 --> 00:25:40.059 S.M. Houghton. 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:42.960 In his funny little book. 00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:44.620 Life books. 00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:46.160 Talks about a man who became an atheist. 00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:47.400 How did he become an atheist? 00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:49.920 Because he grew up in the home of a hyper-Calvinist. 00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:52.920 His father spoke of John Wesley. 00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:53.839 The Methodist preacher. 00:25:54.019 --> 00:25:55.660 As a wicked and evil man. 00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:58.420 Who was doing great harm to the cause of Christ. 00:25:59.779 --> 00:26:01.400 One day this lad was visiting a relative. 00:26:01.779 --> 00:26:03.420 And this saintly old man. 00:26:03.560 --> 00:26:04.880 Called John Wesley. 00:26:05.100 --> 00:26:05.560 Came in. 00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:06.720 White hair down to his shoulders. 00:26:08.140 --> 00:26:08.720 He took the boy. 00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:09.900 And he put his head on his. 00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:12.800 He put his hand on his head. 00:26:12.800 --> 00:26:14.340 Put his hand on his head. 00:26:15.040 --> 00:26:15.660 And he said. 00:26:15.740 --> 00:26:16.600 God bless you my son. 00:26:16.660 --> 00:26:17.660 And make you a good man. 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:20.100 That young boy said. 00:26:20.180 --> 00:26:21.360 I never believed one word. 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:22.660 My father spoke from that home. 00:26:22.660 --> 00:26:25.000 I remember. 00:26:25.180 --> 00:26:26.240 Growing up in Swansea. 00:26:26.360 --> 00:26:28.200 We grew up in quite a difficult church situation. 00:26:28.340 --> 00:26:28.680 For some reason. 00:26:30.560 --> 00:26:31.279 Sunday lunch. 00:26:31.460 --> 00:26:32.460 My mother and father were talking. 00:26:32.560 --> 00:26:33.720 And they made a negative comment. 00:26:33.779 --> 00:26:34.620 About someone in the church. 00:26:35.620 --> 00:26:36.360 It's very very rude. 00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:37.279 It's probably the same. 00:26:37.360 --> 00:26:37.779 I can remember it. 00:26:37.800 --> 00:26:38.540 My brother said. 00:26:38.660 --> 00:26:41.519 Is Mr. So and so a bad man? 00:26:44.100 --> 00:26:45.279 My father had a good grace. 00:26:45.360 --> 00:26:45.519 And said. 00:26:45.580 --> 00:26:45.900 No no. 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:46.640 He's not a bad man. 00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:47.240 He's a good man. 00:26:47.279 --> 00:26:48.120 He's a godly man. 00:26:48.120 --> 00:26:49.080 We shouldn't have said that. 00:26:49.580 --> 00:26:51.060 We need to be very very careful. 00:26:51.180 --> 00:26:51.440 Don't we? 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:55.980 There was a regulation in the Royal Navy. 00:26:56.059 --> 00:26:56.920 I don't think it's still there. 00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:59.140 But no officer shall speak discouragingly. 00:26:59.160 --> 00:26:59.940 To another officer. 00:27:00.120 --> 00:27:01.420 In the discharge of his duties. 00:27:01.640 --> 00:27:02.759 Good rule for church life. 00:27:03.700 --> 00:27:05.500 No Christian shall speak discouragingly. 00:27:05.620 --> 00:27:06.880 In the discharge of his duties. 00:27:07.860 --> 00:27:08.259 Control. 00:27:09.100 --> 00:27:09.539 Fifthly. 00:27:09.600 --> 00:27:09.880 Fifthly. 00:27:09.940 --> 00:27:10.320 Where we are. 00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:11.240 Christ-centeredness. 00:27:11.820 --> 00:27:12.680 Christ-centeredness. 00:27:16.140 --> 00:27:17.740 But I think what I could be saying. 00:27:17.740 --> 00:27:19.539 Could be easily misinterpreted. 00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:20.340 And misimplied. 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.400 And actually you could go away with what I've said. 00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:25.539 And actually do quite harm. 00:27:25.640 --> 00:27:28.039 We live in an age of sharing. 00:27:28.320 --> 00:27:29.700 Sharing is the great thing. 00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.059 Let it all hang out. 00:27:33.220 --> 00:27:34.320 Encounter groups. 00:27:35.980 --> 00:27:37.799 And so we get together in our groups. 00:27:37.880 --> 00:27:39.019 And we tell each other our burdens. 00:27:39.120 --> 00:27:39.680 And our sorrows. 00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:40.460 And our temptations. 00:27:40.779 --> 00:27:41.380 And our sins. 00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:42.140 And our joys. 00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:43.700 And our hopes. 00:27:43.779 --> 00:27:44.700 And so on and so forth. 00:27:44.700 --> 00:27:45.840 And we should share everything. 00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:46.420 We should share. 00:27:46.759 --> 00:27:47.720 And speak our minds. 00:27:47.860 --> 00:27:49.559 I don't think nothing can be more harmful. 00:27:49.840 --> 00:27:50.600 Or more dangerous. 00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:51.680 Or more unwise. 00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:54.920 Church is cursed in this country. 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:56.080 It's focusing on self. 00:27:59.080 --> 00:27:59.440 It's interesting. 00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:00.740 It's that since the fall. 00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:02.039 Since Adam and Eve fell. 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:03.640 We are not able. 00:28:04.600 --> 00:28:06.900 And we are not meant to be physically naked. 00:28:06.900 --> 00:28:08.080 In front of each other. 00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:09.759 We cannot handle it. 00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:12.680 We cannot handle that nakedness. 00:28:12.759 --> 00:28:13.660 Without sin. 00:28:15.220 --> 00:28:17.799 And nor are we meant to be emotionally naked. 00:28:18.039 --> 00:28:18.579 To one another. 00:28:20.119 --> 00:28:21.859 We do not help each other. 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:23.079 By sharing those things. 00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:24.279 That should be private. 00:28:24.579 --> 00:28:25.559 Between ourselves. 00:28:25.740 --> 00:28:26.680 And Jesus Christ. 00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:28.839 Our great high priest. 00:28:31.099 --> 00:28:33.039 It's been a trendy thing about preachers. 00:28:33.259 --> 00:28:35.319 To confess their sins. 00:28:35.579 --> 00:28:37.079 Publicly in their sermons. 00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:39.379 And it doesn't help. 00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:42.440 Believe it or not. 00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:43.940 It would not help you. 00:28:44.460 --> 00:28:46.000 To know my temptations. 00:28:46.140 --> 00:28:46.960 And my failings. 00:28:48.299 --> 00:28:49.920 It is enough for you to know. 00:28:50.099 --> 00:28:50.960 That I am sinful. 00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:51.640 You know that. 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:52.759 And I fail. 00:28:53.640 --> 00:28:54.900 That's all you need to know. 00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:57.460 How would it help. 00:28:58.220 --> 00:28:59.559 The person next to you. 00:28:59.819 --> 00:29:01.279 The heart is deceitful. 00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:01.940 Above all things. 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:03.059 I'm desperately wicked. 00:29:04.379 --> 00:29:05.539 And when we come to the New Testament. 00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:06.420 We do find this. 00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.279 This emphasis on sharing. 00:29:08.420 --> 00:29:09.400 But what are they sharing? 00:29:09.400 --> 00:29:10.780 They are sharing Christ. 00:29:13.019 --> 00:29:14.100 And it's totally different. 00:29:14.280 --> 00:29:15.140 They're not sharing ourselves. 00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:16.400 They're not sharing our sinfulness. 00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:16.960 And weakness. 00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:17.740 And our problems. 00:29:18.100 --> 00:29:19.580 But they're talking of the Lord Jesus. 00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:20.380 And we have in common. 00:29:21.700 --> 00:29:22.540 They focus on him. 00:29:22.580 --> 00:29:23.220 And think on him. 00:29:23.259 --> 00:29:24.080 And meditate on him. 00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.679 The whole book of Hebrews. 00:29:25.679 --> 00:29:25.679 00:29:25.679 --> 00:29:27.899 Is a word of encouragement. 00:29:28.159 --> 00:29:29.519 Chapter 13 verse 22. 00:29:29.699 --> 00:29:30.599 And the whole book of Hebrews. 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:31.799 Is the book of the Lord Jesus. 00:29:33.639 --> 00:29:34.779 He sets out. 00:29:34.919 --> 00:29:35.299 The writer. 00:29:35.419 --> 00:29:36.379 The glory of Christ. 00:29:36.460 --> 00:29:37.139 Throughout the letter. 00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.259 He's the divine son. 00:29:38.339 --> 00:29:38.939 The creator. 00:29:39.379 --> 00:29:40.000 The priest. 00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:40.839 The sacrifice. 00:29:41.539 --> 00:29:42.359 The intercessor. 00:29:42.819 --> 00:29:43.559 His compassion. 00:29:43.699 --> 00:29:44.399 And his mercy. 00:29:44.500 --> 00:29:45.119 And his greatness. 00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:46.059 That Jesus Christ. 00:29:46.139 --> 00:29:47.099 Is the same yesterday. 00:29:47.559 --> 00:29:48.379 Today forever. 00:29:48.380 --> 00:29:48.980 The writer. 00:29:49.060 --> 00:29:48.980 The writer. 00:29:49.060 --> 00:29:49.380 The Hebrews. 00:29:49.540 --> 00:29:50.660 Is always pointing. 00:29:50.860 --> 00:29:51.760 People to Christ. 00:29:51.860 --> 00:29:52.860 Chapter 3 verse 1. 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:54.200 Therefore holy brothers. 00:29:54.300 --> 00:29:55.820 You who share in the heavenly calling. 00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:56.840 Consider Christ. 00:29:58.020 --> 00:29:59.740 Chapter 4 and verse 14. 00:30:01.220 --> 00:30:02.020 Since then we have agreed. 00:30:02.080 --> 00:30:03.220 Like Greece was passed through the hands. 00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:04.580 Jesus the son of God. 00:30:04.840 --> 00:30:06.360 Let us hold fast for our confession. 00:30:06.800 --> 00:30:08.520 Chapter 12 and verse 2. 00:30:09.980 --> 00:30:12.800 Therefore since we're surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. 00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:14.620 Let us also lay aside every weight. 00:30:14.619 --> 00:30:16.079 In sin that clings up closely to us. 00:30:16.399 --> 00:30:19.319 Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. 00:30:19.739 --> 00:30:20.539 Looking to Jesus. 00:30:20.679 --> 00:30:22.779 The founder and perfecter of our faith. 00:30:26.239 --> 00:30:27.559 So when we get together. 00:30:27.699 --> 00:30:28.879 When we get together in house groups. 00:30:28.979 --> 00:30:29.439 What are we to do? 00:30:29.500 --> 00:30:30.659 We are to speak of Christ. 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:33.579 We are to talk about the saviour. 00:30:33.639 --> 00:30:34.500 How wonderful he is. 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:35.399 And gracious he is. 00:30:35.459 --> 00:30:36.119 And holy he is. 00:30:36.219 --> 00:30:36.619 And pure. 00:30:36.819 --> 00:30:37.219 And loving. 00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:37.819 And powerful. 00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:38.439 And faithful. 00:30:38.879 --> 00:30:40.639 And when we do that. 00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:41.939 That will encourage you. 00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:44.960 How are we to encourage one another? 00:30:45.080 --> 00:30:46.380 We are to remind one another. 00:30:46.539 --> 00:30:47.700 Of the Lord Jesus. 00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:51.539 Not selfish. 00:30:52.180 --> 00:30:53.059 Self absorbed. 00:30:53.360 --> 00:30:54.360 Focusing on me. 00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:55.400 And my problems. 00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:56.539 Let me tell you about me. 00:30:56.600 --> 00:30:57.279 And my week. 00:30:58.400 --> 00:30:59.799 When I tell you about my week. 00:30:59.860 --> 00:31:01.100 You will feel sorry for me. 00:31:01.580 --> 00:31:03.100 And when you tell me about your week. 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:04.360 I will feel sorry for you. 00:31:04.360 --> 00:31:06.080 I don't understand what good that does. 00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:06.720 That's very good. 00:31:09.140 --> 00:31:09.779 Sharing yes. 00:31:09.840 --> 00:31:10.960 But sharing Christ. 00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:11.960 To talk of him. 00:31:13.079 --> 00:31:14.440 To meditate on him. 00:31:15.259 --> 00:31:16.539 To focus on him. 00:31:17.740 --> 00:31:19.279 That brings us to the last thought. 00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:20.640 Compassion. 00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:24.460 Compassion. 00:31:26.100 --> 00:31:27.440 Perhaps this is the most vital thing. 00:31:27.559 --> 00:31:29.000 In us becoming encouragers. 00:31:29.819 --> 00:31:32.600 It depends on the sort of person that you are. 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:35.440 It's not what you say. 00:31:36.600 --> 00:31:37.440 It's not what you do. 00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:38.259 It's who you are. 00:31:38.259 --> 00:31:41.240 To be an encourager in church life. 00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:42.259 You've got to love people. 00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:45.240 And you need to be interested in them. 00:31:45.299 --> 00:31:47.640 And you need to genuinely respect them. 00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:49.680 And people can sense that in you. 00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:50.079 Can't they? 00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:54.299 I've got a minister friend. 00:31:54.299 --> 00:31:55.299 Who is renowned. 00:31:55.740 --> 00:31:57.579 For when he's speaking to you at a conference. 00:31:57.740 --> 00:32:00.519 He's always looking over your shoulder. 00:32:00.659 --> 00:32:02.480 To see if there's someone more important to talk to. 00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:05.019 So if Rico Tyson's to walk in the room. 00:32:06.179 --> 00:32:07.079 I won't give his name. 00:32:07.199 --> 00:32:07.879 Off he runs. 00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:09.980 But you know what that's like. 00:32:10.040 --> 00:32:10.440 Don't you? 00:32:12.540 --> 00:32:13.360 When somebody. 00:32:13.700 --> 00:32:14.560 Who's just there. 00:32:14.620 --> 00:32:15.580 Not even listening to you. 00:32:15.620 --> 00:32:16.920 We know what that's like. 00:32:17.780 --> 00:32:18.760 It's very discouraging. 00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:20.100 The problem with techniques. 00:32:20.220 --> 00:32:20.640 I read. 00:32:20.980 --> 00:32:22.360 It was supposed to be a Christian book. 00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:22.880 On encouragement. 00:32:23.040 --> 00:32:24.100 In preparation for the series. 00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:24.720 Let me read it. 00:32:27.780 --> 00:32:29.320 There are certain techniques. 00:32:29.540 --> 00:32:30.880 That we can actually practice. 00:32:31.020 --> 00:32:32.260 That will make us good encouragers. 00:32:32.259 --> 00:32:35.599 There are five things that you need to do. 00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:37.539 Number one. 00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:40.519 Squarely face the other person. 00:32:41.799 --> 00:32:42.539 Number two. 00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:45.759 Tightly cross arms and legs. 00:32:45.940 --> 00:32:47.339 Communicate distance. 00:32:48.059 --> 00:32:50.000 And inhibit development of closeness. 00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:52.539 Number three. 00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:53.519 He says. 00:32:54.019 --> 00:32:57.480 A slight forward lean of the body and head. 00:32:57.619 --> 00:32:59.299 Communicates attentive interest. 00:33:00.440 --> 00:33:01.180 Number four. 00:33:01.180 --> 00:33:04.360 Maintain steady eye contact. 00:33:05.539 --> 00:33:06.299 Number five. 00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:07.980 Consciously relax. 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:09.860 And then. 00:33:11.160 --> 00:33:12.840 Not satisfied with that. 00:33:12.940 --> 00:33:14.500 He puts it together in an acronym. 00:33:15.080 --> 00:33:15.640 SOLER. 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:17.960 S-O-L-E-R. 00:33:18.320 --> 00:33:18.840 Squarely. 00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:19.560 Openly. 00:33:19.840 --> 00:33:20.259 Lean. 00:33:20.560 --> 00:33:21.120 Eyes. 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:22.480 Relax. 00:33:24.140 --> 00:33:24.980 And then he says. 00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:26.000 And this is the best bit. 00:33:27.620 --> 00:33:29.640 You can practice this on your own. 00:33:31.180 --> 00:33:37.180 We might then ask a spouse or a close friend to evaluate. 00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:39.220 Can you imagine? 00:33:40.700 --> 00:33:41.820 Well let me say. 00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:44.460 You've done great on eye contact. 00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:47.200 You've done really well on consciously relaxing. 00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:48.100 But the leaning. 00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:50.519 It's repulsive. 00:33:50.740 --> 00:33:50.860 Isn't it? 00:33:50.860 --> 00:33:51.580 Isn't that repulsive? 00:33:52.779 --> 00:33:53.700 It is ludicrous. 00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:55.080 It is manipulating people. 00:33:55.180 --> 00:33:57.519 So imagine practicing how you're going to hold your body. 00:33:58.759 --> 00:34:01.080 To communicate interest in another human being. 00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:04.740 How would you feel if you felt someone was doing that to you? 00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:06.359 In other words. 00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:07.279 There must be genuineness. 00:34:07.420 --> 00:34:07.579 Isn't there? 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:08.440 There must be reality. 00:34:08.739 --> 00:34:10.039 A real frankliness. 00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:11.940 An interest and love for people. 00:34:12.139 --> 00:34:14.159 They are not objects for us to work on. 00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:16.820 They are not projects for us to draw in. 00:34:17.219 --> 00:34:18.940 They are people made in the image of God. 00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:23.719 And so encouragement must spread deep from deep within us. 00:34:23.739 --> 00:34:24.079 Trust that. 00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:26.599 A compassion truly felt for people. 00:34:26.599 --> 00:34:29.159 It's a gift from God. 00:34:29.259 --> 00:34:30.339 And you must pray for it. 00:34:30.440 --> 00:34:31.420 And we must pray for it. 00:34:31.460 --> 00:34:32.480 And we must long for it. 00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:33.199 And learn it. 00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:35.639 And here is the hard part. 00:34:35.739 --> 00:34:35.960 Isn't it? 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:37.980 This is where God's equipping can be very painful. 00:34:38.139 --> 00:34:39.159 And it's a simple fact. 00:34:39.279 --> 00:34:41.860 That God brings suffering and pain into our lives. 00:34:42.299 --> 00:34:43.819 To equip us to be encouragers. 00:34:45.579 --> 00:34:46.739 And perhaps tonight you're thinking. 00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:48.920 Actually I'd love to be an encourager. 00:34:49.559 --> 00:34:50.659 I'd love to be a compassionate. 00:34:50.659 --> 00:34:52.579 A more sensitive and friendly person. 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:53.639 Who can get close to people. 00:34:54.119 --> 00:34:54.699 And help them. 00:34:55.119 --> 00:34:55.900 I hope you say that. 00:34:57.440 --> 00:34:58.579 But we have to say that we. 00:34:58.659 --> 00:35:00.900 God might well put us in a hard place. 00:35:01.699 --> 00:35:03.659 To make us the sort of person. 00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:07.400 That we may have to weep many tears. 00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:09.079 Before you become that sort of person. 00:35:09.839 --> 00:35:11.380 Because you can't learn it from a book. 00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:14.179 And you certainly can't learn it from a conference. 00:35:15.500 --> 00:35:17.139 Perhaps you know people have suffered. 00:35:17.259 --> 00:35:18.279 I can think of many people. 00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:19.980 And people are drawn to them. 00:35:19.980 --> 00:35:21.039 There's just something about them. 00:35:21.099 --> 00:35:22.059 You can't describe it. 00:35:22.139 --> 00:35:23.139 You can't categorise it. 00:35:23.159 --> 00:35:23.960 But they understand. 00:35:24.079 --> 00:35:25.079 And they can sympathise. 00:35:25.079 --> 00:35:26.159 And they can say. 00:35:26.199 --> 00:35:27.319 I know what God is like. 00:35:28.900 --> 00:35:29.639 And they say. 00:35:29.759 --> 00:35:30.599 Blessed be. 00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:32.239 The God and Father. 00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:33.579 Of our Lord Jesus Christ. 00:35:33.779 --> 00:35:34.940 The Father of mercies. 00:35:35.059 --> 00:35:36.639 And the God of all comforts. 00:35:36.819 --> 00:35:37.679 Who comforts us. 00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:38.599 In all our afflictions. 00:35:38.739 --> 00:35:39.019 Why? 00:35:39.299 --> 00:35:40.559 So that we may be able to comfort. 00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:42.539 But those who are in any affliction. 00:35:42.539 --> 00:35:43.219 With the comfort. 00:35:43.219 --> 00:35:46.019 With which we ourselves are comforted by God. 00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:49.420 Paul says this is. 00:35:50.099 --> 00:35:51.440 Why this has happened to me. 00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:52.840 Do you want to be an encourager? 00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:53.599 I hope you do. 00:35:55.360 --> 00:35:57.400 Well be warned of some hard training. 00:35:59.480 --> 00:36:01.699 Some of you are going through very hard times. 00:36:01.699 --> 00:36:06.419 Some of you are facing things in this room. 00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:08.460 That are cruel and discouraging and heartbreaking. 00:36:10.319 --> 00:36:11.099 And we can say. 00:36:11.179 --> 00:36:12.480 With the authority of God's word. 00:36:12.579 --> 00:36:13.439 God has a purpose. 00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:16.619 And God is not allowing you. 00:36:16.619 --> 00:36:18.099 To go through what you're going through. 00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:18.539 For nothing. 00:36:21.980 --> 00:36:23.099 And the day will come. 00:36:24.339 --> 00:36:26.619 When you will maybe be able to draw near to someone. 00:36:26.739 --> 00:36:28.719 And help them in a way that you could never have before. 00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:32.699 One last point. 00:36:32.779 --> 00:36:33.279 I want to say. 00:36:33.359 --> 00:36:34.980 Smiling is not compulsory. 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:37.599 And there are churches aren't there. 00:36:37.639 --> 00:36:38.500 Where we are taught. 00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:42.719 And that everyone is to be joyful all the time. 00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:45.579 And you walk into those churches. 00:36:45.779 --> 00:36:47.219 And everyone is showing their teeth. 00:36:48.139 --> 00:36:50.099 And you begin after about five minutes. 00:36:50.179 --> 00:36:51.879 To think there's something wrong with these people. 00:36:53.859 --> 00:36:55.219 They smile all the time. 00:36:55.219 --> 00:36:58.739 But there's a feeling. 00:36:59.059 --> 00:36:59.599 I think. 00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:02.379 In some parts of the Christian church in the UK. 00:37:02.500 --> 00:37:03.359 That it's unchristian. 00:37:03.419 --> 00:37:04.980 To be anything other than bubbling over. 00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:06.939 All the time. 00:37:08.859 --> 00:37:10.339 But that is the picture of the New Testament. 00:37:10.519 --> 00:37:11.299 The New Testament says. 00:37:11.359 --> 00:37:12.279 It's alright to be sad. 00:37:14.339 --> 00:37:15.259 The New Testament says. 00:37:15.299 --> 00:37:16.779 It's alright to be discouraged at times. 00:37:16.919 --> 00:37:17.939 There are discouraging things. 00:37:19.159 --> 00:37:20.579 And you must not feel. 00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:21.719 You must not feel. 00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:22.980 That you've got to rush over. 00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:24.839 And cheer people up all the time. 00:37:25.219 --> 00:37:29.519 C.S. Lewis once said about a woman. 00:37:29.699 --> 00:37:30.879 She's the sort of woman. 00:37:31.059 --> 00:37:32.139 That lives for others. 00:37:33.219 --> 00:37:34.480 You can tell the others. 00:37:34.779 --> 00:37:36.699 By the haunted expression on their faces. 00:37:38.139 --> 00:37:39.099 It's brilliant. 00:37:41.139 --> 00:37:41.980 There are people like that. 00:37:43.319 --> 00:37:46.339 And sometimes the most encouraging thing of all. 00:37:46.500 --> 00:37:48.239 Is for our friends to leave us alone. 00:37:48.899 --> 00:37:50.099 And to pray for us for a while. 00:37:50.099 --> 00:37:53.880 I don't have to leave us alone. 00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:55.519 Let's stop. 00:37:55.699 --> 00:37:56.139 Let's pray. 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579 00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:56.579