WEBVTT 00:00:00.620 --> 00:00:01.540 Good morning, church. 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:04.320 Would you turn with me to the Old Testament book of Proverbs? 00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:08.040 That book begins on page 527 in the Pew Bible. 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:12.540 We're considering the theme of wisdom this summer. 00:00:13.120 --> 00:00:17.740 That is the skill of living life well, which is what the book of Proverbs is all about. 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:21.660 And what Proverbs has been showing us is that wisdom is a bit like a diamond. 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:27.120 A diamond has lots of sides, lots of aspects, but when you look into a diamond, you get 00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:32.840 to see most of those or all those different sides at once, sort of reflecting and refracting 00:00:32.840 --> 00:00:34.359 the light in these brilliant ways. 00:00:35.060 --> 00:00:38.700 A diamond is one thing with lots of sides, and as a whole, it makes a thing of beauty. 00:00:38.859 --> 00:00:40.880 And what we've been seeing is wisdom is like that. 00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:43.159 Wisdom is a life. 00:00:44.060 --> 00:00:49.140 Wisdom is an integrated whole, but it has lots of sides and lots of aspects that together 00:00:49.140 --> 00:00:50.100 create a thing of beauty. 00:00:51.140 --> 00:00:55.040 So each week this summer, we've been taking up a different aspect, a different side of 00:00:55.040 --> 00:00:55.340 wisdom. 00:00:55.340 --> 00:01:00.300 And today, we come to the theme of friendship. 00:01:02.480 --> 00:01:04.800 Look at Proverbs 18.24 with me. 00:01:05.880 --> 00:01:08.500 We'll start with just one verse this morning as we dive in. 00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:11.740 Proverbs 18.24 says, 00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:18.080 A man of many companions comes to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a 00:01:18.080 --> 00:01:18.260 brother. 00:01:20.439 --> 00:01:23.760 Now, friendship is something that's notoriously hard to define, isn't it? 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:27.780 Philosophers have kind of wrestled with the nature of friendship for a long time. 00:01:28.420 --> 00:01:33.280 Last year, a professor at Princeton named Alexander Nahum has published a book called On Friendship. 00:01:33.939 --> 00:01:35.719 It's 300 pages long. 00:01:36.219 --> 00:01:41.760 Of course, only a philosopher can take a subject like friendship and write 300 awesome, rich, 00:01:41.960 --> 00:01:42.620 thick pages. 00:01:42.620 --> 00:01:44.359 That's what you've got to love about philosophy. 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:50.820 And when asked in an interview to define friendship, he said, friendship is difficult to describe. 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:57.180 It's easier to say what friendship is not, he said, and foremost, it's not instrumental. 00:01:57.900 --> 00:02:01.780 What he means by that is that friendship isn't some means to some other end. 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:04.120 You don't use the person to get something else. 00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:05.620 That's not what friendship is all about. 00:02:07.380 --> 00:02:12.280 C.S. Lewis in a chapter on friendship says that friendship arises out of the sea of all 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:17.460 of our sort of mere companions when two people discover that they have some common interest 00:02:17.460 --> 00:02:19.039 or insight that others don't share. 00:02:19.140 --> 00:02:24.040 In other words, he says the typical expression of opening friendship would be something like, 00:02:24.599 --> 00:02:24.860 what? 00:02:25.500 --> 00:02:26.159 You too? 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:28.240 I thought I was the only one. 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:36.060 But if friendship is hard to define, it's also perhaps even harder to do. 00:02:38.600 --> 00:02:44.700 Often the very tools and technologies that are meant to facilitate relationships and friendships, 00:02:45.160 --> 00:02:49.100 things like smartphones and apps like Facebook, 00:02:49.500 --> 00:02:53.140 the incredible ease of travel that we live in in the 21st century. 00:02:53.219 --> 00:02:53.980 I mean, just think about it. 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:57.760 A trip to New York City to visit a friend takes what today? 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:00.139 Like a couple of hours max, right? 00:03:01.219 --> 00:03:02.019 You know, but think about it. 00:03:02.019 --> 00:03:04.199 A couple hundred years ago in the 18th century, for instance, 00:03:04.299 --> 00:03:07.399 when Jonathan Edwards was leaving his first pastorate, 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:09.179 traveling from New York City back to Hartford, 00:03:09.359 --> 00:03:11.959 he was getting all sad and emotional in his journal 00:03:11.959 --> 00:03:15.299 because he knew that he'd rarely get the chance to see those people again. 00:03:15.359 --> 00:03:16.699 It was like a multiple day trip. 00:03:16.780 --> 00:03:19.459 It wasn't something you could just jump on the train and go to in a couple hours. 00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:22.819 But very interestingly today, 00:03:22.899 --> 00:03:25.899 the very tools that are meant to facilitate friendships for us 00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:29.879 actually can have the reverse effect and make them all the more difficult. 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:34.920 We're constantly interrupted by our cell phones. 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:38.599 Our friends on Facebook number in the hundreds. 00:03:39.659 --> 00:03:40.500 And we all know, right, 00:03:40.540 --> 00:03:43.259 that you can't actually have a meaningful friendship with hundreds of people. 00:03:43.259 --> 00:03:49.799 And the ease of travel has created a transience in our culture, 00:03:49.899 --> 00:03:53.299 an ease of movement for school or job or just preference 00:03:53.299 --> 00:03:56.219 that actually makes maintaining friendships incredibly difficult. 00:03:56.879 --> 00:03:59.840 As soon as you make a good friend, they move away. 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:01.579 Or you move away. 00:04:01.580 --> 00:04:08.340 And yet here in Proverbs, we're being told that friendship, 00:04:09.200 --> 00:04:13.240 as hard as it is to define, as hard as it is to do, 00:04:14.180 --> 00:04:15.920 is worth the effort. 00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:22.420 Friendship is part of the truly wise life. 00:04:22.420 --> 00:04:26.740 So why don't we take a look in the next couple of minutes 00:04:26.740 --> 00:04:32.060 at what Proverbs has to say about what a good friend looks like. 00:04:33.640 --> 00:04:35.460 What sort of friends ought we to be? 00:04:35.580 --> 00:04:37.800 What's the nature of true friendship? 00:04:37.939 --> 00:04:40.240 And I think there are at least three points that Proverbs makes here. 00:04:40.520 --> 00:04:43.700 Derek Kidner lists some of these in his excellent little commentary on Proverbs. 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:45.480 And I'm following his lead. 00:04:46.460 --> 00:04:49.100 The first thing that we see in Proverbs is that a good friend 00:04:49.100 --> 00:04:51.400 is constant. 00:04:53.100 --> 00:04:54.920 Look again at Proverbs 18, 24. 00:04:56.100 --> 00:04:58.920 A man of many companions may come to ruin, 00:04:59.900 --> 00:05:02.879 but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 00:05:04.379 --> 00:05:06.820 Now, we've all experienced fair-weather friends, right? 00:05:07.540 --> 00:05:10.080 Friends who kind of come and go, depending on your circumstance. 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:13.280 And Proverbs is actually quite honest about that experience, too. 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:14.500 Just listen to some of these verses. 00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:15.060 Don't turn there. 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:16.040 From chapter 14. 00:05:16.939 --> 00:05:18.840 The poor is disliked by his neighbor, 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:20.279 but the rich has many friends. 00:05:21.739 --> 00:05:22.699 And from chapter 19. 00:05:22.799 --> 00:05:24.139 Wealth brings many new friends, 00:05:24.279 --> 00:05:26.659 but a poor man is deserted by his friend. 00:05:27.500 --> 00:05:29.299 Many seek the favor of a generous man, 00:05:29.379 --> 00:05:31.859 and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts. 00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:34.419 But all a poor man's brothers hate him. 00:05:34.739 --> 00:05:36.679 How much more do his friends go far from him? 00:05:37.159 --> 00:05:38.339 He pursues them with words, 00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:40.199 but does not have them. 00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:43.779 Such friends, 00:05:44.559 --> 00:05:45.719 Proverbs is telling us, 00:05:46.059 --> 00:05:47.419 aren't really friends at all. 00:05:48.839 --> 00:05:51.719 Rather, as you see there in 1824, 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:56.719 a friend is one who sticks closer than a brother, 00:05:57.459 --> 00:05:59.459 not just in good times, 00:05:59.739 --> 00:06:01.779 but in bad times as well. 00:06:03.779 --> 00:06:07.479 Look just across the page at Proverbs 17, 17. 00:06:09.479 --> 00:06:10.859 Proverbs 17, 17. 00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:13.740 A friend loves at all times. 00:06:13.740 --> 00:06:14.360 A friend loves at all times, 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:17.840 and a brother is born for adversity. 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:22.160 A true friend loves at all times. 00:06:22.259 --> 00:06:23.780 They are constant. 00:06:24.939 --> 00:06:27.060 Even in seasons of adversity. 00:06:27.259 --> 00:06:27.600 Of course, 00:06:28.120 --> 00:06:30.600 I think the great biblical example of this 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:33.480 is the friendship between Jonathan and David. 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:35.840 I mean, 00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:37.600 think of how easy it would have been 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:40.319 and how tempting it would have been 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:43.780 for Jonathan to drop David as a friend. 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:46.660 We often sort of skim through those narratives 00:06:46.660 --> 00:06:47.759 in 1 Samuel, 00:06:47.860 --> 00:06:49.180 not realizing what's at stake. 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:49.860 I mean, 00:06:49.900 --> 00:06:50.280 think about it. 00:06:50.300 --> 00:06:50.840 After all, 00:06:51.379 --> 00:06:53.040 not only was David being hunted 00:06:53.040 --> 00:06:54.920 by Jonathan's own father, 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:58.400 but David had been anointed 00:06:58.400 --> 00:06:59.620 the next king of Israel. 00:07:00.660 --> 00:07:01.120 In other words, 00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:02.319 David was going to take 00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:03.900 Jonathan's place on the throne 00:07:03.900 --> 00:07:04.860 when Saul died. 00:07:06.699 --> 00:07:07.819 How would you feel about it 00:07:07.819 --> 00:07:08.400 if your friend 00:07:08.400 --> 00:07:10.740 was going to usurp your place on the throne? 00:07:12.960 --> 00:07:13.639 And yet, 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:14.920 Jonathan remains loyal 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:16.980 in his friendship to David. 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:19.060 He stuck by him, 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:21.280 even when it was personally costly, 00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:22.280 even when David 00:07:22.280 --> 00:07:23.819 was experiencing affliction, 00:07:23.819 --> 00:07:25.560 and even when he himself 00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:27.319 was actually going to 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:28.779 have something to lose. 00:07:31.740 --> 00:07:33.439 True friendship is constant. 00:07:35.800 --> 00:07:36.839 But we see here in Proverbs 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:37.259 that a good friend 00:07:37.259 --> 00:07:38.060 is not just constant, 00:07:38.159 --> 00:07:39.519 a good friend is also candid. 00:07:40.180 --> 00:07:41.399 Turn to chapter 27 00:07:41.399 --> 00:07:42.480 in the book of Proverbs. 00:07:43.539 --> 00:07:44.779 27 verse 9. 00:07:49.719 --> 00:07:51.000 27 verse 9 reads, 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:52.680 oil and perfume 00:07:52.680 --> 00:07:54.280 make the heart glad. 00:07:55.079 --> 00:07:56.939 And the sweetness of a friend 00:07:56.939 --> 00:07:59.959 comes from his earnest counsel. 00:08:01.139 --> 00:08:02.439 What makes a friendship 00:08:02.439 --> 00:08:04.240 truly sweet? 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:06.139 Proverbs is saying 00:08:06.139 --> 00:08:06.960 it's actually more 00:08:06.960 --> 00:08:08.860 than just common interest. 00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:11.740 The sweetness of a friend 00:08:11.740 --> 00:08:14.019 comes from his or her 00:08:14.019 --> 00:08:15.860 earnest counsel, 00:08:16.019 --> 00:08:17.079 from their being honest, 00:08:17.180 --> 00:08:18.240 from their being forthright, 00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:20.139 from them being candid with you. 00:08:20.139 --> 00:08:23.519 In other words, 00:08:23.560 --> 00:08:24.159 a friend isn't someone 00:08:24.159 --> 00:08:25.000 who's just going to tell you 00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:25.519 what you want to hear 00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:26.039 all the time. 00:08:26.599 --> 00:08:27.300 They'll give you input. 00:08:27.419 --> 00:08:28.180 They'll give you advice 00:08:28.180 --> 00:08:28.680 that's candid. 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:29.919 What's the alternative to that? 00:08:30.599 --> 00:08:31.839 Proverbs 29 5. 00:08:32.600 --> 00:08:33.740 Proverbs 29 5 says, 00:08:33.819 --> 00:08:35.399 a man who flatters his neighbor 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:37.679 spreads a net for his feet. 00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:41.500 A man who flatters his neighbor 00:08:41.500 --> 00:08:42.480 spreads a net for his feet. 00:08:42.539 --> 00:08:43.220 Now, it's helpful to know, 00:08:43.299 --> 00:08:44.120 actually, as an aside, 00:08:44.519 --> 00:08:45.340 that the Hebrew word 00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:46.460 in Proverbs for neighbor 00:08:46.460 --> 00:08:47.580 and for friend, 00:08:47.580 --> 00:08:48.520 they're actually translating 00:08:48.520 --> 00:08:49.300 the same word. 00:08:49.540 --> 00:08:50.980 So, the Hebrew word 00:08:50.980 --> 00:08:51.560 actually just means 00:08:51.560 --> 00:08:53.120 something like another person 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.160 that you're close to. 00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:55.200 And of course, 00:08:55.259 --> 00:08:56.300 that can mean sort of emotional 00:08:56.300 --> 00:08:57.580 or personal closeness. 00:08:57.700 --> 00:08:58.520 That's why we translate it 00:08:58.520 --> 00:08:59.480 as friend sometimes. 00:08:59.560 --> 00:09:00.120 Or it can just mean 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:01.259 spatial closeness, 00:09:01.400 --> 00:09:02.379 geographical closeness. 00:09:02.440 --> 00:09:03.200 That's why it's your neighbor. 00:09:04.139 --> 00:09:05.680 The context kind of helps us know 00:09:05.680 --> 00:09:07.080 whether we should think of friend 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:07.860 or think of neighbor. 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:08.980 But sometimes, you know, 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:09.900 it could go either way. 00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:11.980 So, in Proverbs 29 5, 00:09:12.060 --> 00:09:13.220 it's telling us that flattery 00:09:13.220 --> 00:09:13.759 of your neighbor 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:14.780 or even more poignantly 00:09:14.779 --> 00:09:17.819 of a friend is setting them up 00:09:17.819 --> 00:09:19.360 to walk right into a trap. 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:22.759 So, think about it. 00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.480 Have your friends, 00:09:26.339 --> 00:09:27.860 have your good friends even, 00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:30.720 have they ever disagreed with you? 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:34.100 Have they ever given you 00:09:34.100 --> 00:09:34.899 earnest counsel? 00:09:35.059 --> 00:09:35.860 Or are they afraid 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:37.679 to step on your toes? 00:09:39.339 --> 00:09:40.379 And more importantly, 00:09:41.039 --> 00:09:42.839 have you been that sort 00:09:42.839 --> 00:09:43.600 of friend to others? 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:44.960 Are you willing to put yourself 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:46.480 in the position to be candid? 00:09:47.779 --> 00:09:48.639 Even if you know 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:49.720 it might not land 00:09:49.720 --> 00:09:51.440 all that well at first. 00:09:53.460 --> 00:09:54.200 It's a lot easier 00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:55.159 to just flatter one another, 00:09:55.220 --> 00:09:55.500 isn't it? 00:09:58.060 --> 00:09:58.759 Oftentimes, I think 00:09:58.759 --> 00:09:59.740 we define friendship today 00:09:59.740 --> 00:10:00.320 as a person 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:02.000 who just always affirms me 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:03.519 and offers zero resistance. 00:10:04.159 --> 00:10:05.279 Who are my really good friends? 00:10:05.340 --> 00:10:06.220 The persons who are just 00:10:06.220 --> 00:10:07.560 always going to affirm me. 00:10:08.460 --> 00:10:09.320 The person who says, 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:10.000 look, I just want you 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:10.500 to be happy, 00:10:10.860 --> 00:10:11.680 do what you feel is best. 00:10:11.820 --> 00:10:12.960 Oh, they're a real friend to me. 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:13.259 But you know, 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:14.040 according to Proverbs, 00:10:14.160 --> 00:10:15.519 the sort of friendship, 00:10:15.660 --> 00:10:16.360 that sort of friendship, 00:10:16.440 --> 00:10:17.420 if that's all it is, 00:10:17.680 --> 00:10:19.000 actually isn't friendship at all. 00:10:20.280 --> 00:10:21.820 Or at least it's a very, 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.340 very thin version of it. 00:10:26.300 --> 00:10:27.500 We see this theme a lot 00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:28.180 in Proverbs actually. 00:10:28.280 --> 00:10:29.780 Proverbs 27.6. 00:10:30.780 --> 00:10:32.240 This is maybe a familiar one 00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:32.860 to some of us. 00:10:33.040 --> 00:10:34.180 Proverbs 27.6. 00:10:34.580 --> 00:10:36.000 Faithful are the wounds 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:36.639 of a friend. 00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:39.740 Profuse are the kisses 00:10:39.740 --> 00:10:40.580 of an enemy. 00:10:42.460 --> 00:10:43.759 Or as Oscar Wilde 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:45.039 jokingly put it, 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:45.980 a true friend 00:10:45.980 --> 00:10:47.659 stabs you in the front. 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:53.720 A true friend 00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:54.500 stabs you in the front. 00:10:56.720 --> 00:10:57.480 Not sure exactly 00:10:57.480 --> 00:10:58.120 what Oscar Wilde 00:10:58.120 --> 00:10:59.000 meant by that actually. 00:11:01.379 --> 00:11:02.200 You can go do that 00:11:02.200 --> 00:11:02.860 research yourself. 00:11:03.059 --> 00:11:03.740 Now, a couple weeks ago, 00:11:03.779 --> 00:11:04.299 Matt took us through 00:11:04.299 --> 00:11:05.019 the topic of giving 00:11:05.019 --> 00:11:06.419 and receiving correction 00:11:06.419 --> 00:11:07.500 in Proverbs. 00:11:07.579 --> 00:11:08.039 So we're not going to 00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:08.779 spend a lot of time 00:11:08.779 --> 00:11:09.419 talking about this. 00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:09.919 If you want to go 00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:10.799 learn more about 00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:11.740 that aspect of friendship, 00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:12.679 you can look at that sermon 00:11:12.679 --> 00:11:13.439 on the website 00:11:13.439 --> 00:11:14.079 or on the podcast. 00:11:14.379 --> 00:11:15.019 But friends, 00:11:15.059 --> 00:11:15.659 just for a second, 00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:16.379 would you agree 00:11:16.379 --> 00:11:17.799 that you need 00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:18.720 those sort of friends? 00:11:21.199 --> 00:11:22.039 And do you see 00:11:22.039 --> 00:11:22.819 how that's what it means 00:11:22.819 --> 00:11:24.279 for you to be a good friend? 00:11:27.279 --> 00:11:28.039 That friendship 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:28.539 is something 00:11:28.539 --> 00:11:29.220 that's supposed 00:11:29.220 --> 00:11:30.879 to sharpen us 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:32.860 and bring us forth 00:11:32.860 --> 00:11:34.879 into the kind 00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:35.259 of people 00:11:35.259 --> 00:11:35.960 that God wants us 00:11:35.960 --> 00:11:36.419 to be, 00:11:37.560 --> 00:11:38.860 not just allow us 00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:39.659 to kind of remain 00:11:39.659 --> 00:11:40.320 where we are. 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:44.120 But there's one more thing 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:45.019 that Proverbs points out. 00:11:45.100 --> 00:11:45.440 A good friend 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:46.240 isn't just constant, 00:11:46.500 --> 00:11:47.220 isn't just candid. 00:11:47.399 --> 00:11:47.779 A good friend 00:11:47.779 --> 00:11:48.600 is also thoughtful. 00:11:50.680 --> 00:11:50.980 Thoughtful. 00:11:51.019 --> 00:11:51.399 In other words, 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:51.800 a good friend 00:11:51.800 --> 00:11:52.460 is sensitive 00:11:52.460 --> 00:11:53.899 to the feelings 00:11:53.899 --> 00:11:54.680 and the situation 00:11:54.680 --> 00:11:55.379 of the other person. 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:55.820 Proverbs, 00:11:56.300 --> 00:11:57.100 on this front, 00:11:57.180 --> 00:11:57.960 actually gives a bunch 00:11:57.960 --> 00:11:58.440 of examples 00:11:58.440 --> 00:11:59.399 of what not to do. 00:11:59.399 --> 00:12:01.659 And some are funny, 00:12:02.199 --> 00:12:04.340 like Proverbs 27, 14, 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:05.159 which we saw 00:12:05.159 --> 00:12:05.919 a few weeks ago. 00:12:07.500 --> 00:12:08.179 Whoever blesses 00:12:08.179 --> 00:12:08.659 his neighbor 00:12:08.659 --> 00:12:09.360 or his friend 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:10.159 with a loud voice 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:10.899 rising early 00:12:10.899 --> 00:12:11.439 in the morning 00:12:11.439 --> 00:12:12.539 will be counted 00:12:12.539 --> 00:12:13.919 as cursing. 00:12:14.980 --> 00:12:15.559 Here's how 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:16.419 I would translate that. 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:18.000 Look, 00:12:18.220 --> 00:12:19.980 friends don't text 00:12:19.980 --> 00:12:21.559 friends before 8 a.m., 00:12:21.559 --> 00:12:21.879 okay? 00:12:22.379 --> 00:12:23.220 I haven't had 00:12:23.220 --> 00:12:24.139 my cup of coffee yet. 00:12:24.699 --> 00:12:25.399 I don't want to see 00:12:25.399 --> 00:12:26.340 your emoji cons. 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:27.079 I don't want to see 00:12:27.079 --> 00:12:28.439 the gif of a kitty cat 00:12:28.439 --> 00:12:29.240 giving a high five 00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:29.759 to a baby. 00:12:32.039 --> 00:12:32.639 I'm just kidding. 00:12:32.700 --> 00:12:33.259 You can text me 00:12:33.259 --> 00:12:33.960 before 8 a.m. 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:34.440 That's fine. 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:36.379 Just not before 7 a.m. 00:12:36.379 --> 00:12:37.259 That's where I draw the line. 00:12:39.180 --> 00:12:40.100 But the point is, 00:12:40.139 --> 00:12:40.779 I think that Proverbs 00:12:40.779 --> 00:12:41.440 is meant to sort of 00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:42.180 make humorously here, 00:12:42.220 --> 00:12:42.659 is a good friend 00:12:42.659 --> 00:12:43.340 is thoughtful. 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:45.019 They're not just sort of 00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:45.980 rampaging through 00:12:45.980 --> 00:12:47.060 their different relationships. 00:12:47.220 --> 00:12:47.740 They're thoughtful 00:12:47.740 --> 00:12:48.600 about the other person. 00:12:49.299 --> 00:12:51.139 According to Proverbs 25, 17, 00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:52.240 a good friend is thoughtful 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:53.419 about not overstaying 00:12:53.419 --> 00:12:54.000 their welcome. 00:12:55.220 --> 00:12:56.580 Let your foot seldom 00:12:56.580 --> 00:12:57.740 be in your neighbor's 00:12:57.740 --> 00:12:58.740 or your friend's house. 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:00.860 Lest he have his fill of you 00:13:00.860 --> 00:13:02.100 and hate you. 00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:05.899 Know when to give 00:13:05.899 --> 00:13:06.580 the other person 00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:07.379 some space, 00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:08.560 Proverbs says. 00:13:09.060 --> 00:13:11.000 Don't always force yourself in. 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:11.919 A good friend 00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:13.500 doesn't smother 00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:14.820 the other person. 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:16.659 And we all sort of 00:13:16.659 --> 00:13:17.299 sense this, right? 00:13:17.340 --> 00:13:18.139 There's a certain kind 00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:18.820 of freedom 00:13:18.820 --> 00:13:20.000 in friendship 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:20.700 that makes it 00:13:20.700 --> 00:13:21.200 what it is. 00:13:21.240 --> 00:13:22.240 You can't force it. 00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:23.399 You've got to let it breathe. 00:13:24.259 --> 00:13:25.200 So Proverbs is saying, 00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:26.019 a good friend knows 00:13:26.019 --> 00:13:26.519 when to give it 00:13:26.519 --> 00:13:27.259 some space. 00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:30.699 And you also need to know 00:13:30.699 --> 00:13:31.120 when something 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:32.159 just isn't funny. 00:13:33.539 --> 00:13:35.579 Proverbs 26, 18. 00:13:37.079 --> 00:13:38.779 Proverbs 26, 18. 00:13:40.860 --> 00:13:42.100 Like a madman 00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:44.360 who throws firebrands, 00:13:44.460 --> 00:13:44.779 arrows, 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:45.559 and death 00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:46.939 is the man 00:13:46.939 --> 00:13:47.679 who deceives 00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:48.319 his neighbor, 00:13:48.439 --> 00:13:49.000 his friend, 00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:49.659 and says, 00:13:49.860 --> 00:13:50.740 I'm only joking. 00:13:50.740 --> 00:13:51.740 Look, 00:13:54.740 --> 00:13:55.720 a good friend knows 00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:56.779 when the joke 00:13:56.779 --> 00:13:57.799 has gone far enough 00:13:57.799 --> 00:13:59.340 and you cut it out. 00:14:00.779 --> 00:14:01.580 And probably 00:14:01.580 --> 00:14:02.200 as a good, 00:14:02.340 --> 00:14:02.919 thoughtful friend, 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:03.779 you apologize 00:14:03.779 --> 00:14:04.740 for some of the things 00:14:04.740 --> 00:14:05.580 you already said. 00:14:07.139 --> 00:14:07.539 Have you ever been 00:14:07.539 --> 00:14:08.019 in a friendship 00:14:08.019 --> 00:14:08.940 where it seems like 00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:09.919 the constant tenor 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:10.519 of that friendship 00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:11.220 is sort of just 00:14:11.220 --> 00:14:13.139 poking fun at each other, 00:14:13.779 --> 00:14:14.659 razzing each other, 00:14:15.419 --> 00:14:16.279 poking each other? 00:14:19.019 --> 00:14:20.000 I'm only joking. 00:14:20.740 --> 00:14:21.600 And yet it wears thin. 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:24.100 A good friend knows 00:14:24.100 --> 00:14:25.680 when the joke 00:14:25.680 --> 00:14:26.279 is played out. 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:29.279 So then a good friend 00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:29.960 is thoughtful. 00:14:30.100 --> 00:14:30.659 This is an important 00:14:30.659 --> 00:14:31.500 balance to the point 00:14:31.500 --> 00:14:32.120 about a good friend 00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:32.840 being candid, 00:14:33.259 --> 00:14:33.700 isn't it? 00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:36.220 There are times, 00:14:36.340 --> 00:14:36.560 yes, 00:14:36.620 --> 00:14:37.299 when you should give 00:14:37.299 --> 00:14:38.460 some earnest counsel 00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:40.120 or even a faithful wound. 00:14:40.700 --> 00:14:41.879 But have you actually 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:42.759 been thoughtful, 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:43.560 careful, 00:14:43.560 --> 00:14:45.120 about what the other person 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:45.919 is going through? 00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:47.820 Sometimes people 00:14:47.820 --> 00:14:48.740 just need someone 00:14:48.740 --> 00:14:49.840 to listen to them. 00:14:50.740 --> 00:14:52.779 The Apostle Paul 00:14:52.779 --> 00:14:53.580 puts it quite beautifully, 00:14:53.700 --> 00:14:53.940 I think. 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:54.220 He says, 00:14:54.299 --> 00:14:55.000 we need to rejoice 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:55.960 with those who rejoice 00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:57.440 and we need to weep 00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:58.299 with those who weep. 00:14:58.360 --> 00:14:59.500 That's a pretty good picture 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:00.519 of friendship, 00:15:00.680 --> 00:15:01.080 I think. 00:15:03.620 --> 00:15:05.419 Your joys are my joys. 00:15:05.539 --> 00:15:06.419 Your sorrows 00:15:06.419 --> 00:15:07.899 are my sorrows. 00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:09.519 In other words, 00:15:09.560 --> 00:15:10.120 don't think that 00:15:10.120 --> 00:15:11.060 real friendship 00:15:11.060 --> 00:15:12.720 means clobbering 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:13.139 each other 00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:14.259 with the candor stick 00:15:14.259 --> 00:15:14.980 all the time. 00:15:15.399 --> 00:15:15.820 Correction, 00:15:16.019 --> 00:15:16.379 correction, 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:16.940 correction. 00:15:16.940 --> 00:15:19.340 Yes, 00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:21.080 iron sharpens iron. 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:21.700 We need that. 00:15:21.780 --> 00:15:22.260 We need to spur 00:15:22.260 --> 00:15:22.860 one another on 00:15:22.860 --> 00:15:23.560 to love and good deeds, 00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:24.720 but we need to do that 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:26.280 with deep sympathy 00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:27.580 for each other's weaknesses. 00:15:29.580 --> 00:15:30.480 Just like Jesus, 00:15:30.620 --> 00:15:32.040 our great high priest, 00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:32.720 sympathizes 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:33.840 with all our weaknesses. 00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:38.160 So a good friend 00:15:38.160 --> 00:15:39.500 is constant, 00:15:39.740 --> 00:15:40.300 is candid, 00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:41.040 is thoughtful. 00:15:41.580 --> 00:15:42.440 They're with you 00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:43.340 through thick and thin. 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:44.520 They're willing 00:15:44.520 --> 00:15:45.320 to be honest 00:15:45.320 --> 00:15:46.420 when you need it 00:15:46.420 --> 00:15:47.300 and they're caring. 00:15:47.420 --> 00:15:48.140 They listen to you. 00:15:48.220 --> 00:15:48.820 They know you. 00:15:48.900 --> 00:15:49.960 They see into your heart. 00:15:50.060 --> 00:15:50.900 They welcome you. 00:15:51.940 --> 00:15:53.720 That's what wise friendship 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:54.520 looks like. 00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:55.420 That's the mark 00:15:55.420 --> 00:15:56.379 we're aiming for 00:15:56.379 --> 00:15:57.300 in friendships 00:15:57.300 --> 00:15:58.320 according to Proverbs. 00:16:01.540 --> 00:16:02.620 So I think it might be helpful 00:16:02.620 --> 00:16:03.480 to just take a moment 00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:05.200 and think about 00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:06.020 some of your friendships. 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:09.380 Of course, 00:16:09.400 --> 00:16:09.820 it would be easy 00:16:09.820 --> 00:16:10.380 for all of us 00:16:10.380 --> 00:16:10.840 to start thinking 00:16:10.840 --> 00:16:11.560 of all the ways 00:16:11.560 --> 00:16:12.740 our friends 00:16:12.740 --> 00:16:13.680 have fallen short 00:16:13.680 --> 00:16:14.260 of this ideal 00:16:14.260 --> 00:16:14.960 toward us. 00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:17.379 But instead, 00:16:17.640 --> 00:16:18.760 examine your own heart. 00:16:19.940 --> 00:16:21.040 What sort of friend 00:16:21.040 --> 00:16:22.700 have you and I been? 00:16:25.020 --> 00:16:25.780 How do you need 00:16:25.780 --> 00:16:27.100 to change and grow? 00:16:28.780 --> 00:16:30.080 Is it your constancy? 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:32.379 Is it your candor? 00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:34.640 Your thoughtfulness? 00:16:37.520 --> 00:16:39.220 How about talking about it 00:16:39.220 --> 00:16:39.860 over lunch today? 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:41.600 How about bringing that up 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:42.600 in your lunchtime conversation? 00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:42.880 You know, 00:16:42.940 --> 00:16:43.640 here's the part of friendship 00:16:43.640 --> 00:16:44.500 I think I can actually 00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:45.159 get better at. 00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:46.419 This is the part 00:16:46.419 --> 00:16:47.320 I think I struggle with. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:47.840 This is the part 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:48.659 I really appreciate. 00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:50.740 What do you think? 00:16:54.100 --> 00:16:54.759 Think for a moment 00:16:54.759 --> 00:16:55.440 about the sort of friend 00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:55.779 you've been. 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:57.519 And if you're married, 00:16:58.179 --> 00:16:59.899 start with your spouse, 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:01.539 with your wife, 00:17:01.740 --> 00:17:02.399 with your husband. 00:17:03.980 --> 00:17:04.700 Because after all, 00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:05.400 even if marriage 00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:06.539 means more than friendship, 00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:08.160 it certainly doesn't mean less. 00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:11.019 What sort of friendship 00:17:11.019 --> 00:17:12.740 are you cultivating 00:17:12.740 --> 00:17:13.620 with your spouse? 00:17:14.980 --> 00:17:15.740 What have you done 00:17:15.740 --> 00:17:16.620 in the last week, 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:18.420 the last two weeks, 00:17:18.500 --> 00:17:19.400 the last month 00:17:19.400 --> 00:17:20.720 that would genuinely 00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:22.240 kindle your friendship? 00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:24.000 If you and I had coffee 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:24.500 this afternoon, 00:17:24.580 --> 00:17:25.420 how would you answer that? 00:17:26.140 --> 00:17:26.840 Would you be able 00:17:26.840 --> 00:17:27.460 to answer that? 00:17:29.740 --> 00:17:30.180 You know, 00:17:30.200 --> 00:17:30.700 there's a funny thing 00:17:30.700 --> 00:17:31.100 that happens 00:17:31.100 --> 00:17:31.720 when we get married. 00:17:32.680 --> 00:17:33.400 Before marriage, 00:17:33.460 --> 00:17:34.259 you look at this person 00:17:34.259 --> 00:17:34.779 and you think, 00:17:34.779 --> 00:17:36.980 they are my best friend. 00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:40.160 I couldn't live without them. 00:17:41.099 --> 00:17:42.500 And then somewhere around 00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:44.039 48 hours after the honeymoon, 00:17:44.420 --> 00:17:45.099 couples are like, 00:17:45.559 --> 00:17:45.879 man, 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.299 I just don't get to spend 00:17:47.299 --> 00:17:48.920 any time with my friends anymore. 00:17:49.079 --> 00:17:50.160 I don't know what's going on. 00:17:52.339 --> 00:17:53.539 Or you ask a married person, 00:17:53.639 --> 00:17:54.460 so who are your friends? 00:17:54.500 --> 00:17:54.859 And they're like, 00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:55.220 well, 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:57.279 I had some friends in college. 00:17:57.940 --> 00:17:58.319 You know, 00:17:58.460 --> 00:17:59.079 I got married. 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:01.019 So much for that. 00:18:01.819 --> 00:18:03.000 How ridiculous, right? 00:18:05.420 --> 00:18:06.319 My guess is that 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:07.460 50% or more 00:18:07.460 --> 00:18:08.420 of marriage problems 00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:09.720 are because we just stop 00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:11.200 actively pursuing 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:12.740 real friendship together. 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:16.180 We spend so much time saying, 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:17.539 I've got to love this person. 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:18.980 I've got to love this person 00:18:18.980 --> 00:18:19.740 that we forget 00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:21.099 to actually like them. 00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:24.440 We forget to actually 00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:25.759 cultivate a friendship with them. 00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:26.879 And Proverbs is showing us 00:18:26.879 --> 00:18:27.700 that friendship, 00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:28.200 yeah, 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:29.099 takes some work. 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:31.220 Friendship might be something 00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:32.399 that sort of starts out, 00:18:32.460 --> 00:18:33.500 like Lewis describes, 00:18:33.619 --> 00:18:34.379 as something you just sort of 00:18:34.380 --> 00:18:35.040 happen upon, 00:18:35.320 --> 00:18:36.520 something you stumble into. 00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:36.880 What? 00:18:36.980 --> 00:18:37.320 You too? 00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:38.580 I thought I was the only one. 00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:39.580 You know, 00:18:39.600 --> 00:18:40.400 but from there, 00:18:41.080 --> 00:18:41.720 constancy, 00:18:41.980 --> 00:18:42.420 candor, 00:18:42.660 --> 00:18:43.300 thoughtfulness, 00:18:43.380 --> 00:18:44.560 the marks of real friendship, 00:18:44.760 --> 00:18:46.340 those don't just happen naturally. 00:18:47.760 --> 00:18:48.960 You need to be intentional. 00:18:51.600 --> 00:18:51.920 Husbands, 00:18:52.020 --> 00:18:52.180 wives, 00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.500 you need to keep pursuing 00:18:53.500 --> 00:18:54.700 one another as friends. 00:18:57.900 --> 00:18:58.460 But of course, 00:18:58.500 --> 00:18:59.180 the application of this 00:18:59.180 --> 00:18:59.760 is much broader 00:18:59.760 --> 00:19:00.620 than the husbands and wives. 00:19:00.700 --> 00:19:01.740 We know that all of us, 00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:02.740 married or single, 00:19:03.060 --> 00:19:03.920 male or female, 00:19:04.380 --> 00:19:05.920 introvert or extrovert. 00:19:06.040 --> 00:19:07.020 All of us need to be 00:19:07.020 --> 00:19:08.480 pursuing friendship. 00:19:11.040 --> 00:19:12.620 This is what wise living, 00:19:12.760 --> 00:19:13.940 living with the grain 00:19:13.940 --> 00:19:15.400 of God's created universe 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:16.120 is all about. 00:19:18.320 --> 00:19:18.920 After all, 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.100 friends, 00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:19.520 think about it. 00:19:19.520 --> 00:19:20.640 If God is a trinity, 00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:22.800 if the one God 00:19:22.800 --> 00:19:23.720 exists eternally 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:24.660 in three persons, 00:19:24.760 --> 00:19:25.460 if at the heart 00:19:25.460 --> 00:19:26.780 of ultimate reality 00:19:26.780 --> 00:19:27.900 is relationship, 00:19:28.180 --> 00:19:28.700 the deep, 00:19:29.040 --> 00:19:30.120 eternal reality 00:19:30.120 --> 00:19:31.120 of love and friendship 00:19:31.120 --> 00:19:32.140 within God Himself, 00:19:32.140 --> 00:19:32.840 among Father, 00:19:32.980 --> 00:19:33.100 Son, 00:19:33.120 --> 00:19:33.820 and Holy Spirit, 00:19:34.820 --> 00:19:35.940 if that's true 00:19:35.940 --> 00:19:37.000 about who God is, 00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:38.860 then as human beings 00:19:38.860 --> 00:19:39.700 made in God's image, 00:19:39.800 --> 00:19:40.380 we too 00:19:40.380 --> 00:19:42.000 are made to function 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:42.740 at our best 00:19:42.740 --> 00:19:43.380 in friendship. 00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:47.780 And of course, 00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:48.420 for most of us 00:19:48.420 --> 00:19:49.480 at a very practical level, 00:19:49.560 --> 00:19:50.340 that's probably going to mean 00:19:50.340 --> 00:19:50.860 a shift 00:19:50.860 --> 00:19:52.040 of some priorities 00:19:52.040 --> 00:19:53.200 to make time for it. 00:19:55.300 --> 00:19:56.540 I'm as much guilty 00:19:56.540 --> 00:19:56.860 of this 00:19:56.860 --> 00:19:57.840 as anybody else. 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:02.099 It's going to mean 00:20:02.099 --> 00:20:02.459 a shift 00:20:02.459 --> 00:20:03.220 of some priorities, 00:20:03.339 --> 00:20:04.619 maybe taking on 00:20:04.619 --> 00:20:05.439 one less project 00:20:05.439 --> 00:20:05.899 at work 00:20:05.899 --> 00:20:07.319 or taking on 00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:08.220 one less improvement 00:20:08.220 --> 00:20:09.599 project around the house, 00:20:10.639 --> 00:20:11.959 spending a little less time 00:20:11.959 --> 00:20:12.679 on that hobby 00:20:12.679 --> 00:20:13.639 or that pastime 00:20:13.639 --> 00:20:14.919 or binging on Netflix 00:20:14.919 --> 00:20:15.439 or whatever, 00:20:16.199 --> 00:20:17.220 spending a little more time 00:20:17.220 --> 00:20:17.939 face-to-face 00:20:17.939 --> 00:20:19.099 with those two or three people 00:20:19.099 --> 00:20:19.659 you're developing 00:20:19.659 --> 00:20:20.639 a real friendship with. 00:20:20.699 --> 00:20:21.240 Maybe it means 00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:22.759 stepping out of your comfort zone 00:20:22.759 --> 00:20:23.679 and initiating 00:20:23.679 --> 00:20:24.679 with one or two people, 00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:26.279 taking the first step, 00:20:26.359 --> 00:20:27.399 taking the second step, 00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:28.420 not just waiting around 00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:29.180 for it to happen. 00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:31.140 Sometimes it means 00:20:31.140 --> 00:20:32.280 stepping out of our comfort zone 00:20:32.280 --> 00:20:32.980 and initiating 00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:34.519 even if we haven't had luck 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:35.480 with that in the past. 00:20:40.380 --> 00:20:40.940 And of course, 00:20:40.980 --> 00:20:41.660 we know that when the rubber 00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:42.320 hits the road, 00:20:43.120 --> 00:20:44.040 that's hard. 00:20:44.860 --> 00:20:45.600 All of that. 00:20:46.940 --> 00:20:48.280 It's hard to say no at work. 00:20:49.040 --> 00:20:49.759 It's hard to give up 00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:50.300 the time doing 00:20:50.300 --> 00:20:50.960 the leisurely thing 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:51.500 you love to do, 00:20:51.560 --> 00:20:52.280 reading or hiking 00:20:52.280 --> 00:20:53.120 or whatever it is. 00:20:54.620 --> 00:20:54.980 But friends, 00:20:55.019 --> 00:20:55.360 think about it. 00:20:55.360 --> 00:20:56.120 What's the alternative? 00:20:57.400 --> 00:20:59.640 What if we don't do 00:20:59.640 --> 00:21:00.620 the hard work of friendship? 00:21:02.800 --> 00:21:03.820 The alternative is 00:21:03.820 --> 00:21:04.920 that we remain stuck 00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:07.259 always in the superficial. 00:21:10.360 --> 00:21:11.560 Paul Tripp puts it this way 00:21:11.560 --> 00:21:12.220 in one of his books. 00:21:12.340 --> 00:21:12.640 He says, 00:21:12.740 --> 00:21:16.140 we live in interwoven networks 00:21:16.140 --> 00:21:20.120 of terminally casual relationships. 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:20.359 relationships. 00:21:21.579 --> 00:21:23.899 We live in interwoven networks 00:21:23.899 --> 00:21:27.239 of terminally casual relationships. 00:21:27.439 --> 00:21:28.500 We live with the delusion 00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:29.519 that we know one another, 00:21:29.859 --> 00:21:30.859 but we really don't. 00:21:31.619 --> 00:21:32.819 We call our easygoing, 00:21:32.979 --> 00:21:33.639 self-protective, 00:21:33.739 --> 00:21:34.919 and often theologically 00:21:34.919 --> 00:21:37.259 platitudinous conversations fellowship, 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:40.039 but they seldom ever reach 00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:41.839 the threshold of true fellowship. 00:21:43.899 --> 00:21:44.439 Ouch. 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:49.480 And yet, 00:21:49.500 --> 00:21:50.400 how often is that true, 00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:50.759 friends? 00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:55.820 Maybe another way of asking this 00:21:55.820 --> 00:21:56.360 is to ask, 00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:57.360 who really knows you? 00:21:58.519 --> 00:21:59.600 Who's behind the curtain 00:21:59.600 --> 00:22:00.279 of your life? 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:02.420 And who do you know well? 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:08.279 But it doesn't have to be this way, 00:22:08.320 --> 00:22:08.539 you know. 00:22:08.539 --> 00:22:10.759 What if the church 00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:11.920 became the place 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:13.379 where friendship 00:22:13.379 --> 00:22:15.299 was something we worked hard at? 00:22:16.940 --> 00:22:18.220 For a long time, 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:19.240 the church has rightfully 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:20.680 put a huge value 00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:21.799 on marriage, 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:23.259 and yet we've let 00:22:23.259 --> 00:22:24.159 our thinking 00:22:24.159 --> 00:22:24.899 and our acting 00:22:24.899 --> 00:22:25.519 in friendship 00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:26.980 emaciate. 00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:28.379 And yet, 00:22:28.420 --> 00:22:29.579 that's not the biblical picture. 00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:33.399 Friendship is something 00:22:33.399 --> 00:22:35.639 that's deeply valuable 00:22:35.639 --> 00:22:38.519 and incredibly important. 00:22:38.539 --> 00:22:41.180 What if the church 00:22:41.180 --> 00:22:41.960 became the place 00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:42.700 where we caught 00:22:42.700 --> 00:22:43.899 that biblical vision again, 00:22:44.139 --> 00:22:44.599 and friendship 00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:45.039 was something 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.259 that we gave ourselves to, 00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:47.420 that we worked hard at? 00:22:48.700 --> 00:22:49.180 No, 00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:50.039 you're not going to be friends 00:22:50.039 --> 00:22:51.099 with absolutely everyone. 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:51.859 No, 00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:52.799 we're never going to do 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:53.619 friendship perfectly, 00:22:53.740 --> 00:22:55.599 but what if this was the place 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:57.139 where the epidemic 00:22:57.139 --> 00:22:58.099 of loneliness 00:22:58.099 --> 00:22:59.740 that's eating us up culturally, 00:22:59.859 --> 00:23:00.420 and it is? 00:23:02.980 --> 00:23:04.279 What if this was the place 00:23:04.279 --> 00:23:06.079 where just our deep-seated 00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:07.619 loneliness as a culture 00:23:07.619 --> 00:23:08.219 was met 00:23:08.219 --> 00:23:09.339 by the force 00:23:09.339 --> 00:23:10.459 of something greater? 00:23:13.459 --> 00:23:14.379 What if the church 00:23:14.379 --> 00:23:15.000 was the place 00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:15.579 where friendships 00:23:15.579 --> 00:23:16.419 took root, 00:23:16.479 --> 00:23:17.859 not on the basis 00:23:17.859 --> 00:23:19.759 of some common interest 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:20.519 or on the basis 00:23:20.519 --> 00:23:21.279 of some common 00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:22.079 workout schedule 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:23.179 or some common place 00:23:23.179 --> 00:23:24.000 to do happy hour? 00:23:24.059 --> 00:23:24.500 What if the church 00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:24.939 was the place 00:23:24.939 --> 00:23:25.339 where friendship 00:23:25.339 --> 00:23:25.759 took root 00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:26.699 in something much deeper, 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:27.699 more powerful, 00:23:27.879 --> 00:23:28.439 more lasting, 00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:29.619 more satisfying 00:23:29.619 --> 00:23:30.319 than all of that? 00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:34.819 In other words, 00:23:34.859 --> 00:23:35.319 what if the church 00:23:35.319 --> 00:23:35.839 was the place 00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:36.899 where you could be known 00:23:36.899 --> 00:23:38.419 and know others 00:23:38.419 --> 00:23:39.980 in and through 00:23:39.980 --> 00:23:40.919 the love of God 00:23:40.919 --> 00:23:43.599 in a way 00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:44.559 that was constant 00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:46.159 and candid 00:23:46.159 --> 00:23:47.919 and deeply, 00:23:48.500 --> 00:23:49.559 richly thoughtful? 00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:54.460 In the book of Acts, 00:23:54.579 --> 00:23:56.019 Luke gives us 00:23:56.019 --> 00:23:56.480 a snapshot 00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:57.299 of the early church 00:23:57.299 --> 00:23:57.619 at the end 00:23:57.619 --> 00:23:58.299 of chapter 2 00:23:58.299 --> 00:24:00.459 and he says, 00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:01.519 they devoted themselves, 00:24:01.779 --> 00:24:03.059 they devoted themselves 00:24:03.059 --> 00:24:04.079 to the apostles' teaching 00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:04.779 and to the fellowship, 00:24:04.959 --> 00:24:05.819 to the breaking of bread 00:24:05.819 --> 00:24:06.399 and to prayer. 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:08.479 I don't know about you, 00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:09.239 but we skip over 00:24:09.239 --> 00:24:10.059 that second phrase 00:24:10.059 --> 00:24:10.599 pretty quickly, 00:24:10.699 --> 00:24:11.039 don't we? 00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:13.259 They devoted themselves 00:24:13.259 --> 00:24:14.619 to the fellowship. 00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:19.059 Rich relationships 00:24:19.059 --> 00:24:20.619 weren't a casual, 00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:22.799 secondary thing 00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.419 for our brothers 00:24:23.419 --> 00:24:23.919 and sisters 00:24:23.919 --> 00:24:24.699 in the early church. 00:24:24.779 --> 00:24:25.739 They devoted themselves 00:24:25.740 --> 00:24:26.319 to it. 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:28.839 And what happened 00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:29.400 as a result? 00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:31.079 Luke tells us 00:24:31.079 --> 00:24:32.000 in the rest of Acts 2, 00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:32.339 he says, 00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:32.900 and the Lord 00:24:32.900 --> 00:24:34.059 added to their number 00:24:34.059 --> 00:24:35.319 day by day 00:24:35.319 --> 00:24:37.220 those who were being saved 00:24:37.220 --> 00:24:38.220 as the power 00:24:38.220 --> 00:24:38.839 of the gospel 00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:39.960 expressed itself, 00:24:40.099 --> 00:24:40.400 yes, 00:24:40.460 --> 00:24:41.039 in a devotion 00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:42.099 to the apostles' teaching 00:24:42.099 --> 00:24:43.859 and into all-filled worship 00:24:43.859 --> 00:24:45.180 and into deep, 00:24:45.460 --> 00:24:45.920 rich prayer, 00:24:46.019 --> 00:24:46.819 but also, friends, 00:24:46.859 --> 00:24:48.620 in devoted fellowship. 00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:50.200 As the power 00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:50.759 of the gospel 00:24:50.759 --> 00:24:52.079 expressed itself 00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:52.920 in that kind 00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:53.359 of friendship 00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:53.980 and fellowship, 00:24:53.980 --> 00:24:55.220 God used it 00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:56.039 as a means 00:24:56.039 --> 00:24:57.579 to grow the church, 00:24:57.819 --> 00:24:59.140 to bring more 00:24:59.140 --> 00:24:59.740 and more people 00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:00.500 to himself. 00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:03.660 What if part 00:25:03.660 --> 00:25:04.720 of our evangelistic 00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:05.680 strategy 00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:07.680 in the time 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:08.420 and in the place 00:25:08.420 --> 00:25:09.640 that God has for us 00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:12.200 has to entail friendship? 00:25:12.460 --> 00:25:13.220 I think it does, 00:25:13.339 --> 00:25:13.579 friends. 00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:16.660 And here's why, 00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:17.599 because the life 00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:18.700 of Christ 00:25:18.700 --> 00:25:20.000 is not going 00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:21.000 to look plausible 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.299 to your neighbors 00:25:22.299 --> 00:25:23.160 or my neighbors 00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:24.200 unless they see 00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:25.319 relationships 00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:26.000 where that's being 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:26.880 lived out 00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:28.220 and made visible 00:25:28.220 --> 00:25:29.019 and made real 00:25:29.019 --> 00:25:30.220 before their very eyes. 00:25:32.019 --> 00:25:33.259 You and I know 00:25:33.259 --> 00:25:34.119 that following Christ 00:25:34.119 --> 00:25:34.640 is incredibly 00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:35.380 countercultural. 00:25:36.140 --> 00:25:36.799 How are our friends 00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:37.599 going to even picture 00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:38.619 what that looks like 00:25:38.619 --> 00:25:39.700 unless here 00:25:39.700 --> 00:25:40.380 in this place 00:25:40.380 --> 00:25:41.180 there are friendships 00:25:41.180 --> 00:25:42.319 where that's being 00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:43.519 lived out with joy 00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:44.700 and with deep meaning? 00:25:44.700 --> 00:25:51.539 So true friendship 00:25:51.539 --> 00:25:52.259 is constant, 00:25:52.580 --> 00:25:53.120 it's candid, 00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:53.920 and it's thoughtful. 00:25:55.380 --> 00:25:55.640 But you know, 00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:56.259 the book of Proverbs 00:25:56.259 --> 00:25:57.559 is a very realistic book. 00:25:58.620 --> 00:25:59.600 It admits 00:25:59.600 --> 00:26:00.600 that this sort of friendship 00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:01.640 is very rare. 00:26:03.600 --> 00:26:05.640 Proverbs 26 says, 00:26:06.860 --> 00:26:08.759 Many a man proclaims 00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:09.880 his steadfast love, 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:12.039 but a faithful man 00:26:12.039 --> 00:26:13.240 who can find? 00:26:14.700 --> 00:26:16.980 Aristotle 00:26:16.980 --> 00:26:19.240 supposedly once exclaimed, 00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:20.600 Oh, my friends, 00:26:21.460 --> 00:26:23.400 there is no friend. 00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:27.500 Who can find a friend 00:26:27.500 --> 00:26:28.600 like we've been describing? 00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:29.240 You might be thinking, 00:26:29.340 --> 00:26:30.039 I've never had a friend 00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:30.539 like that. 00:26:31.299 --> 00:26:32.000 And newsflash, 00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:32.980 most of my experiences 00:26:32.980 --> 00:26:33.400 in church 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:34.620 have not been like that. 00:26:38.059 --> 00:26:38.980 You might be thinking, 00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:39.900 all of my friends 00:26:39.900 --> 00:26:40.740 have been fickle 00:26:40.740 --> 00:26:42.360 and not constant. 00:26:42.500 --> 00:26:43.200 They've moved away, 00:26:43.299 --> 00:26:44.160 they've stopped calling, 00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:45.140 they're surfacy, 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:46.480 they're not candid, 00:26:46.779 --> 00:26:47.840 they barely know me. 00:26:49.820 --> 00:26:50.220 Constant, 00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:51.000 candid, 00:26:51.300 --> 00:26:51.620 thoughtful, 00:26:51.740 --> 00:26:52.540 no one's ever 00:26:52.540 --> 00:26:53.400 been a friend to me 00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:54.019 like that. 00:26:55.720 --> 00:26:56.800 How can I turn around 00:26:56.800 --> 00:26:57.720 and be that kind of friend? 00:26:57.840 --> 00:26:58.120 Oh, 00:26:58.480 --> 00:26:59.279 my friends, 00:26:59.340 --> 00:27:00.240 there is no friend. 00:27:04.320 --> 00:27:05.340 But are we so sure 00:27:05.340 --> 00:27:05.860 about that? 00:27:05.859 --> 00:27:09.339 What if you actually 00:27:09.339 --> 00:27:10.399 did have a friend like that? 00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:11.219 Constant, 00:27:11.619 --> 00:27:12.539 completely truthful 00:27:12.539 --> 00:27:13.099 and honest 00:27:13.099 --> 00:27:13.719 and yet utterly 00:27:13.719 --> 00:27:14.559 thoughtful and loving. 00:27:14.639 --> 00:27:15.559 What if you did have a friend 00:27:15.559 --> 00:27:16.419 who knew you 00:27:16.419 --> 00:27:17.279 at that deep level, 00:27:17.539 --> 00:27:19.099 who pursued you, 00:27:19.399 --> 00:27:20.240 who stuck it out 00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:21.319 through your ups and downs? 00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:23.879 What if you had 00:27:23.879 --> 00:27:24.439 a friend like that? 00:27:24.479 --> 00:27:25.279 Wouldn't you be able 00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:26.399 then to turn around 00:27:26.399 --> 00:27:27.939 and be a friend like that? 00:27:28.679 --> 00:27:29.439 If you knew 00:27:29.439 --> 00:27:30.279 that amidst all 00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:31.059 your companions 00:27:31.059 --> 00:27:31.819 and acquaintances, 00:27:31.919 --> 00:27:33.039 you had a friend 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:34.039 who stuck closer 00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:34.599 than a brother, 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:35.960 it would change everything, 00:27:36.019 --> 00:27:36.359 wouldn't it? 00:27:39.079 --> 00:27:39.759 Wouldn't it give you 00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:40.180 the courage 00:27:40.180 --> 00:27:40.720 to step out 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:41.659 and make new friends 00:27:41.659 --> 00:27:43.019 if you had at least 00:27:43.019 --> 00:27:44.099 one really good friend? 00:27:45.740 --> 00:27:46.299 And wouldn't it give you 00:27:46.299 --> 00:27:46.920 the strength 00:27:46.920 --> 00:27:47.779 to let go 00:27:47.779 --> 00:27:49.000 of old friends 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:50.779 if you knew 00:27:50.779 --> 00:27:51.579 that there was one 00:27:51.579 --> 00:27:52.759 who stuck closer 00:27:52.759 --> 00:27:53.279 than a brother? 00:27:55.420 --> 00:27:56.339 If you had 00:27:56.339 --> 00:27:57.019 that sort of friend, 00:27:57.099 --> 00:27:57.680 would it not then 00:27:57.680 --> 00:27:58.159 empower you 00:27:58.159 --> 00:27:59.139 to be that sort of friend? 00:28:00.599 --> 00:28:01.279 And yet again, 00:28:01.339 --> 00:28:01.799 has anyone ever 00:28:01.799 --> 00:28:02.680 had a friend like that? 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:08.099 Well, friends, 00:28:08.139 --> 00:28:08.960 here's the good news, 00:28:09.720 --> 00:28:11.200 is that despite 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:12.019 what you may think, 00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:15.299 the message of Christianity 00:28:15.299 --> 00:28:16.379 is that we have 00:28:16.379 --> 00:28:17.819 and we do, 00:28:18.259 --> 00:28:18.659 you see. 00:28:20.339 --> 00:28:21.159 In the last days 00:28:21.159 --> 00:28:21.980 of His earthly ministry, 00:28:22.099 --> 00:28:22.579 Jesus said, 00:28:22.740 --> 00:28:23.460 greater love 00:28:23.460 --> 00:28:24.599 has no one than this, 00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:26.659 than a man 00:28:26.659 --> 00:28:27.420 laid down his life 00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:28.139 for his friends. 00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:29.619 And you know 00:28:29.619 --> 00:28:29.899 what happened 00:28:29.899 --> 00:28:30.539 that very night? 00:28:30.619 --> 00:28:31.279 That very night 00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:32.339 in the Garden of Gethsemane, 00:28:32.339 --> 00:28:33.319 while we were 00:28:33.319 --> 00:28:34.159 falling asleep, 00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:35.740 while we were 00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:36.439 showing ourselves 00:28:36.439 --> 00:28:37.879 to be unconstant 00:28:37.879 --> 00:28:38.859 and unfaithful 00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:39.980 and unthoughtful, 00:28:40.339 --> 00:28:41.299 as we failed 00:28:41.299 --> 00:28:42.119 to be the friend 00:28:42.119 --> 00:28:43.019 that He deserved, 00:28:44.379 --> 00:28:45.139 Jesus Christ 00:28:45.139 --> 00:28:46.000 goes forward. 00:28:46.359 --> 00:28:47.859 He meets this gang 00:28:47.859 --> 00:28:48.699 of torches 00:28:48.699 --> 00:28:49.399 and spears 00:28:49.399 --> 00:28:49.980 that had come 00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:50.439 for Him 00:28:50.439 --> 00:28:51.119 and all the rest 00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:51.439 of them, 00:28:51.559 --> 00:28:52.319 and He says, 00:28:52.399 --> 00:28:53.099 if you seek Me, 00:28:53.220 --> 00:28:54.159 let these men go. 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.900 and in our place, 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:57.560 Jesus goes forward 00:28:57.560 --> 00:28:59.440 into that gang 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:00.180 who had come 00:29:00.180 --> 00:29:02.019 with bloodthirstiness 00:29:02.019 --> 00:29:02.519 for Him. 00:29:03.660 --> 00:29:04.940 And He goes forward 00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:05.759 to the cross, 00:29:05.940 --> 00:29:07.420 losing all of His earthly 00:29:07.420 --> 00:29:08.680 friends along the way, 00:29:09.740 --> 00:29:12.740 losing even the Heavenly 00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:13.759 Father's favor 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:15.640 as He became sin 00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:16.200 for us 00:29:16.200 --> 00:29:17.460 on the cross. 00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:20.519 friends, 00:29:20.579 --> 00:29:20.880 do you see 00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:21.480 what God 00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:22.559 has become 00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:22.920 for you 00:29:22.920 --> 00:29:23.519 in Christ? 00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:26.259 He's become 00:29:26.259 --> 00:29:27.160 your true friend, 00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:29.640 sharing all 00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:30.860 of our infirmities, 00:29:31.420 --> 00:29:32.900 not a single need, 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:34.180 not a single temptation, 00:29:34.620 --> 00:29:35.960 not a single heartache 00:29:35.960 --> 00:29:37.640 is foreign to Him. 00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:41.059 Sharing all 00:29:41.059 --> 00:29:41.840 of our infirmities 00:29:41.840 --> 00:29:42.900 and sticking closer 00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:43.420 to us 00:29:43.420 --> 00:29:44.019 than a brother, 00:29:44.019 --> 00:29:45.799 even when it meant 00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:46.240 laying down 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:47.480 His own life 00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:48.319 for us. 00:29:51.900 --> 00:29:52.759 And after laying 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:53.359 down His life, 00:29:53.420 --> 00:29:53.900 we know that 00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:54.680 after His suffering 00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:55.299 on the third day, 00:29:55.339 --> 00:29:56.059 He rose again, 00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:58.240 reconciling us 00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:59.039 to the Father, 00:29:59.160 --> 00:29:59.839 making it true 00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:00.400 that for all 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:01.019 who turn 00:30:01.019 --> 00:30:02.319 and trust in Him 00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:03.460 once and for all, 00:30:04.059 --> 00:30:05.279 we can become 00:30:05.279 --> 00:30:06.859 the friends of God. 00:30:07.539 --> 00:30:08.220 Isn't that amazing? 00:30:08.299 --> 00:30:08.460 You know, 00:30:08.500 --> 00:30:09.079 there are these echoes 00:30:09.079 --> 00:30:09.879 in the Old Testament. 00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:12.039 Abraham at one point 00:30:12.039 --> 00:30:13.200 is called God's friend. 00:30:14.019 --> 00:30:15.180 Moses at one point 00:30:15.180 --> 00:30:16.240 is said that 00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:17.019 he speaks to God 00:30:17.019 --> 00:30:17.660 face to face 00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:18.360 as a man speaks 00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:18.779 with a friend, 00:30:18.840 --> 00:30:19.900 but those are rare. 00:30:20.500 --> 00:30:21.340 Those are exceptions 00:30:21.340 --> 00:30:22.080 to the rule. 00:30:23.100 --> 00:30:24.019 Those are Abraham. 00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:24.980 Those are Moses. 00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:29.299 And yet here comes Christ 00:30:29.299 --> 00:30:31.200 tearing the veil in two 00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:32.279 and saying, 00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:33.840 I've made you all 00:30:33.840 --> 00:30:34.500 my friends. 00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:38.519 It's not just 00:30:38.519 --> 00:30:39.360 the privilege 00:30:39.360 --> 00:30:40.420 of a select few. 00:30:41.120 --> 00:30:42.160 It's all of us. 00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:45.539 And what's more, 00:30:45.620 --> 00:30:46.819 Christ has even given us 00:30:46.819 --> 00:30:47.960 the Holy Spirit 00:30:47.960 --> 00:30:49.960 so that we might begin 00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:51.500 to live in the rich assurance 00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:53.340 of His unyielding friendship 00:30:53.340 --> 00:30:53.819 to us. 00:30:53.860 --> 00:30:54.400 You remember the words 00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:55.019 that He spoke? 00:30:55.779 --> 00:30:56.920 The risen Lord spoke 00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:58.360 to the disciples 00:30:58.360 --> 00:30:59.120 as they gathered 00:30:59.120 --> 00:30:59.640 in Galilee? 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:01.220 He says, 00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:02.240 I'm with you always, 00:31:02.740 --> 00:31:03.340 even to the end 00:31:03.340 --> 00:31:03.880 of the age. 00:31:05.220 --> 00:31:06.140 Isn't that exactly 00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:07.080 what we want our friends 00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:07.860 to say to us? 00:31:07.859 --> 00:31:10.539 I'm with you always, 00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:12.740 no matter what comes. 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:17.459 And the Holy Spirit's work 00:31:17.459 --> 00:31:18.339 is to make those words 00:31:18.339 --> 00:31:19.219 resonate deeper 00:31:19.219 --> 00:31:20.919 and deeper in our souls 00:31:20.919 --> 00:31:21.879 so that we might become 00:31:21.879 --> 00:31:22.819 more and more 00:31:22.819 --> 00:31:23.659 the kind of people 00:31:23.659 --> 00:31:24.479 who can become 00:31:24.479 --> 00:31:25.579 the sort of friends 00:31:25.579 --> 00:31:26.179 to others 00:31:26.179 --> 00:31:27.759 that Proverbs talks about. 00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:32.199 One hymn puts it this way, 00:31:32.199 --> 00:31:32.559 Jesus, 00:31:32.919 --> 00:31:33.519 what a friend 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:34.219 for sinners. 00:31:34.220 --> 00:31:35.660 Jesus, 00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:36.720 lover of my soul. 00:31:36.860 --> 00:31:37.920 Friends may fail me. 00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:39.500 Foes assail me. 00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:40.200 He, 00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:40.860 my Savior, 00:31:40.980 --> 00:31:41.680 makes me whole. 00:31:41.819 --> 00:31:42.220 Hallelujah, 00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:43.500 what a Savior. 00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:44.920 Hallelujah, 00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:45.860 what a friend. 00:31:46.600 --> 00:31:47.000 Saving, 00:31:47.600 --> 00:31:47.960 helping, 00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:48.920 keeping, 00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:50.019 loving. 00:31:51.259 --> 00:31:52.120 He is with me 00:31:52.120 --> 00:31:53.039 to the end. 00:31:56.279 --> 00:31:57.120 Brothers and sisters, 00:31:57.220 --> 00:31:58.039 you have a friend 00:31:58.039 --> 00:32:00.079 that sticks closer 00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:00.740 than a brother. 00:32:00.740 --> 00:32:01.339 A constant, 00:32:01.940 --> 00:32:02.380 candid, 00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:03.980 perfectly loving. 00:32:04.220 --> 00:32:07.279 So now, 00:32:07.360 --> 00:32:07.980 let us live 00:32:07.980 --> 00:32:10.000 out that friendship 00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:11.500 with one another. 00:32:12.259 --> 00:32:13.000 Let's pray. 00:32:17.220 --> 00:32:17.960 Lord Jesus, 00:32:18.019 --> 00:32:18.940 we confess that often 00:32:18.940 --> 00:32:19.519 our friendships 00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:20.620 are so riddled 00:32:20.620 --> 00:32:22.059 and so hard. 00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:24.440 Lord, 00:32:24.500 --> 00:32:25.299 how much further 00:32:25.299 --> 00:32:26.319 do we need to go 00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:27.799 to discover 00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:28.880 our own brokenness 00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:29.700 and our own need 00:32:29.700 --> 00:32:30.240 of redemption 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:30.960 than to look at 00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:32.160 our own friendships 00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:33.500 and how far 00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:34.460 short they fall. 00:32:36.660 --> 00:32:37.300 And yet, 00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:37.720 Lord Jesus, 00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:38.540 we praise you 00:32:38.540 --> 00:32:38.980 this morning 00:32:38.980 --> 00:32:39.940 for your kindness 00:32:39.940 --> 00:32:41.279 and your faithfulness 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:42.500 and your steadfast love. 00:32:44.060 --> 00:32:44.519 Lord, 00:32:44.580 --> 00:32:45.180 that when we were 00:32:45.180 --> 00:32:45.880 friendless, 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:48.420 when we hated 00:32:48.420 --> 00:32:49.540 one another 00:32:49.540 --> 00:32:50.200 and were hated 00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:51.200 by each other, 00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:52.360 you entered in 00:32:52.360 --> 00:32:55.019 to our sin-sick world 00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:55.900 and our friendless 00:32:55.900 --> 00:32:56.880 and lonely world 00:32:56.880 --> 00:32:57.720 and you broke 00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:58.600 open the gates 00:32:58.600 --> 00:32:59.160 of friendship. 00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:00.680 Lord, 00:33:00.780 --> 00:33:01.300 thank you 00:33:01.300 --> 00:33:01.960 this morning 00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:02.520 that you know 00:33:02.520 --> 00:33:03.440 each one of us 00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:04.400 personally, 00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:05.860 individually, 00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:07.100 intimately. 00:33:09.380 --> 00:33:09.900 Lord, 00:33:09.980 --> 00:33:10.880 help us to see that. 00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:12.940 Help us to know that. 00:33:14.020 --> 00:33:15.000 Help us to live 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.100 in the joy of that, 00:33:16.800 --> 00:33:17.240 that you are 00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:18.280 a faithful friend. 00:33:18.279 --> 00:33:21.920 And Lord, 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:22.839 help us to be 00:33:22.839 --> 00:33:24.599 so filled by that 00:33:24.599 --> 00:33:25.980 and by your spirit 00:33:25.980 --> 00:33:27.480 that we can become 00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:28.079 the friends 00:33:28.079 --> 00:33:30.399 that you call us 00:33:30.399 --> 00:33:31.019 to be in the church 00:33:31.019 --> 00:33:31.619 and that our world 00:33:31.619 --> 00:33:32.639 so desperately needs. 00:33:34.299 --> 00:33:34.700 Father, 00:33:34.740 --> 00:33:35.339 we ask all this 00:33:35.339 --> 00:33:36.000 in the strong name 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:36.399 of Jesus. 00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:37.379 Amen.