WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.980 Let me just give a few words of introduction before I read the passage for us this morning. 00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:05.139 So I'm going to read it to you. 00:00:05.520 --> 00:00:13.380 We have this conviction that at the heart of our church life together are not your good ideas or my good ideas, 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:16.420 but is what God says in his words. 00:00:17.219 --> 00:00:24.740 We gather together around what he says in his word, not what I think in my head or what you think in your head. 00:00:24.739 --> 00:00:32.219 And one really important test of that conviction, whether you're really gathering around the ideas in your head 00:00:32.219 --> 00:00:37.339 or whether you're gathering around what God says in his word, how do you know whether you believe that? 00:00:38.179 --> 00:00:43.719 Well, you believe that by when you come to passages like 2 Samuel chapter 13, you don't skip over them, 00:00:44.119 --> 00:00:48.939 but you read them and you preach them because you believe that when God says stuff, 00:00:48.939 --> 00:00:56.659 even stuff which is uncomfortable for us to listen to, still we need to listen to it and pay attention. 00:00:57.420 --> 00:01:01.959 And so this morning really is an expression of our confidence that God knows better than we do. 00:01:02.679 --> 00:01:08.579 And we are looking at 2 Samuel chapter 13, and we're going to be hearing about Amnon raping his sister Tamar. 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:11.280 We're going to hear about Absalom killing his brother. 00:01:11.579 --> 00:01:18.799 And we're going to do that because we are convinced that what God says is more important than what we think. 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:20.859 And so we're going to listen to it carefully. 00:01:21.739 --> 00:01:25.539 I also want to say before I read the passage that I want to acknowledge that there are people in this room 00:01:25.539 --> 00:01:29.340 who are directly affected by some of the things that are raised here. 00:01:30.620 --> 00:01:36.200 Love, hatred, rape, deceit, murder are not things that are alien to us. 00:01:36.620 --> 00:01:39.979 And I want you to know that God raises these things for us this morning, 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:43.060 not with an intention to traumatize us, but to heal us. 00:01:43.700 --> 00:01:45.799 And that's his desire in his word. 00:01:45.900 --> 00:01:48.579 So I want to try and deal sensitively with this material if I can. 00:01:48.939 --> 00:01:51.700 But I want us to deal with it honestly and openly too. 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:56.280 So let's have a look at 2 Samuel chapter 13, and let me read it to you. 00:01:56.280 --> 00:02:05.359 In the course of time, Amnon, son of David, fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom, son of David. 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:10.199 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. 00:02:10.780 --> 00:02:13.740 She was a virgin and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:20.460 Now Amnon had an advisor named Jehonabad, son of Shimear, David's brother. 00:02:21.159 --> 00:02:23.659 Jehonadab was a very shrewd man. 00:02:24.040 --> 00:02:29.140 He asked Amnon, why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? 00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:29.920 Won't you tell me? 00:02:30.920 --> 00:02:35.680 Amnon said to him, I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:39.680 Go to bed and pretend to be ill, Jehonabad said. 00:02:40.480 --> 00:02:46.620 When your father comes to see you, say to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:51.680 Let her prepare the food in my sight so that I may watch her and then eat it from her hand. 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:55.960 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:05.200 When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight so that I may eat from her hand. 00:03:06.140 --> 00:03:08.500 David sent word to Tamar at the palace. 00:03:09.300 --> 00:03:13.140 Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him. 00:03:13.640 --> 00:03:17.360 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon who was lying down. 00:03:18.100 --> 00:03:22.040 She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:26.379 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. 00:03:27.019 --> 00:03:29.239 Send everyone out of here, Amnon said. 00:03:29.379 --> 00:03:30.519 So everyone left him. 00:03:31.060 --> 00:03:36.479 Then Amnon said to Tamar, bring the food here into my bedroom so that I may eat from your hand. 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:42.019 And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 00:03:42.780 --> 00:03:48.319 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, come to bed with me, my sister. 00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:52.719 No, my brother, she said to him, do not force me. 00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:55.120 Such a thing should not be done in Israel. 00:03:55.939 --> 00:03:57.479 Don't do this wicked thing. 00:03:58.099 --> 00:03:58.919 What about me? 00:03:59.439 --> 00:04:00.959 Where could I get rid of my disgrace? 00:04:01.479 --> 00:04:02.319 And what about you? 00:04:02.379 --> 00:04:04.479 You'd be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. 00:04:04.959 --> 00:04:06.159 Please speak to the king. 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:08.359 He will not keep me from being married to you. 00:04:09.060 --> 00:04:10.599 But he refused to listen to her. 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:14.199 And since he was stronger than she, he raped her. 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:19.339 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. 00:04:20.060 --> 00:04:22.740 In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. 00:04:23.479 --> 00:04:26.060 Amnon said to her, get up and get out. 00:04:26.699 --> 00:04:31.659 No, she said to him, sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you've already done to me. 00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:33.919 But he refused to listen to her. 00:04:34.759 --> 00:04:41.099 He called his personal servant and said, get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her. 00:04:41.100 --> 00:04:44.780 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 00:04:45.520 --> 00:04:50.260 She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 00:04:50.980 --> 00:04:54.520 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. 00:04:54.960 --> 00:04:59.939 She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. 00:05:00.960 --> 00:05:04.240 Her brother Absalom said to her, has Amnon, your brother, been with you? 00:05:04.820 --> 00:05:06.379 Be quiet for now, my sister. 00:05:06.900 --> 00:05:07.560 He is your brother. 00:05:07.740 --> 00:05:09.040 Don't take this thing to heart. 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:13.460 And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman. 00:05:14.580 --> 00:05:17.220 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:20.500 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad. 00:05:20.600 --> 00:05:23.660 He hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. 00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:31.259 Two years later, when Absalom's sheep shearers were at Baal Hazel, near the border of Ephraim, 00:05:31.900 --> 00:05:34.140 he invited all the king's sons to come there. 00:05:34.620 --> 00:05:37.939 Absalom went to the king and said, your servants have had shearers come. 00:05:37.939 --> 00:05:40.160 Will the king and his attendants please join me? 00:05:40.860 --> 00:05:42.300 No, my son, the king replied. 00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:43.399 All of us should not go. 00:05:43.699 --> 00:05:45.199 We would only be a burden to you. 00:05:45.459 --> 00:05:50.339 Though Absalom urged him, he still refused to go, but gave his blessing. 00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:55.040 Then Absalom said, if not, please let my brother Amnon come with us. 00:05:55.620 --> 00:05:57.379 The king asked, why should he go with you? 00:05:57.379 --> 00:06:03.040 But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king's sons. 00:06:03.939 --> 00:06:12.600 Absalom ordered his men, listen, when Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine, I say to you, strike down, then kill him. 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:13.800 Don't be afraid. 00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:15.399 Haven't I given you this order? 00:06:15.560 --> 00:06:16.740 Be strong and brave. 00:06:17.639 --> 00:06:21.139 So Absalom's men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:25.100 Then all the king's sons got up, mounted their mules and fled. 00:06:25.100 --> 00:06:28.080 While they were on their way, the report came to David. 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:30.379 Absalom has struck down all the king's sons. 00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:31.520 Not one of them is left. 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:36.360 The king stood up, tore his clothes and laid down on the ground. 00:06:36.840 --> 00:06:39.860 And all his attendants stood by with their clothes torn. 00:06:39.860 --> 00:06:48.540 But Shannanadab, son of Shemaiah, David's brother, said, my lord should not think that they killed all the princes. 00:06:48.740 --> 00:06:49.879 Only Amnon is dead. 00:06:50.220 --> 00:06:54.860 This has been Absalom's express intention ever since the day that Amnon raped his sister Tamar. 00:06:55.319 --> 00:06:59.120 My lord, the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king's sons are dead. 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:00.340 Only Amnon is dead. 00:07:01.520 --> 00:07:03.580 Meanwhile, Absalom fled. 00:07:03.579 --> 00:07:11.079 Now the man standing watch looked up and saw many people on the road west of him coming down the side of the hill. 00:07:11.219 --> 00:07:17.279 The watchman went and told the king, I see men in the direction of Honorai on the side of the hill. 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:47.259 And the king said, I see men in the direction of the hill. 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:49.399 And the king was sold concerning Amnon's death. 00:07:52.259 --> 00:08:02.919 Now what I hope has become clear to you over these last few weeks is that the writer of 2 Samuel is trying to give us a portrait of the sinfulness of the human heart. 00:08:03.619 --> 00:08:12.799 He started by showing us that David will never be the king that God's people need because of the sin in his own heart. 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:14.899 David could only do so much. 00:08:15.339 --> 00:08:23.879 So in the story of David and Bathsheba, we learned, didn't we, that sin in the heart of David is essentially irrational in its desire. 00:08:24.739 --> 00:08:27.419 It would sell out its future for a moment of pleasure. 00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:33.840 Suddenly for David, what God has said becomes radically less important than what it is that he wants. 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:37.200 Sin still does that, doesn't it? 00:08:37.820 --> 00:08:41.160 Suddenly trades what God says for what we want. 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:43.519 We know that, we feel that, we do that. 00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:49.460 And though, like David, we do our best to cover it over, and although we might get away with it with the people around us, 00:08:49.460 --> 00:08:55.259 still we learn, didn't we, in chapter 11, that God sees sin and holds us to account for it. 00:08:56.540 --> 00:09:03.120 Then last week, if you were with us in chapter 12, we were looking at Nathan the prophet's confrontation with David, 00:09:03.780 --> 00:09:10.300 where he tells him this story of the rich man and all of his sheep and the poor man and his one very precious sheep. 00:09:10.360 --> 00:09:12.500 You might remember that if you were with us last week. 00:09:12.500 --> 00:09:19.980 And we saw that the connection between that story and what David has done is the selfishness of the human heart. 00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:21.679 It's the parallel, isn't it? 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:29.620 The rich man and David were both so self-interested that they were willing to rob from someone who had less to make sure they had more. 00:09:30.740 --> 00:09:39.320 We saw that selfish sin, of which we're all guilty, selfish sin cannot be undone, can it, by religious observance. 00:09:39.419 --> 00:09:40.360 We noticed that, didn't we? 00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:53.500 We noticed that selfish sin, because by its very nature, religious obedience to earn forgiveness is itself self-interested. 00:09:53.740 --> 00:09:54.779 It adds to the problem. 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:56.039 It doesn't take away from it. 00:09:56.460 --> 00:10:03.659 Instead, salvation from selfish sin can only come from the selfless act of Christ our Saviour on the cross. 00:10:03.659 --> 00:10:11.299 And this week, we come to chapter 13, and we get some more detail on the picture of sin in the account of Amnon and Tamar. 00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:17.159 You know, selfish sin, if you like, is now held right under the microscope of human behaviour. 00:10:17.839 --> 00:10:26.679 And we see that selfish sin takes what is good and twists it into what is evil and wicked. 00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:32.479 So that what is good and pure and right becomes ugly, twisted and corrupt. 00:10:32.979 --> 00:10:35.539 So we'll see in this chapter that love is no longer love. 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:36.959 Friendship is no longer friendship. 00:10:37.219 --> 00:10:38.439 Family is no longer family. 00:10:38.979 --> 00:10:40.359 Sex is no longer sex. 00:10:40.599 --> 00:10:41.919 Justice is no longer justice. 00:10:42.179 --> 00:10:44.839 And kings are no longer kingly. 00:10:45.539 --> 00:10:49.439 Those are in the inside of your welcome sheet if you want to track along with those. 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:51.520 So let's see those together in the story. 00:10:51.620 --> 00:10:53.360 Let's start with love is not love. 00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:55.900 Keep your eyes down on the passage. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.900 Amnon here is introduced as David's oldest son in the opening verse. 00:10:59.540 --> 00:11:02.840 He officially is the heir apparent, the next in line for the throne. 00:11:03.560 --> 00:11:08.860 Absalom, who also gets introduced in verse 1, is his younger half-brother, same father, different mother. 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:12.680 And there is a son in between them, but he's rarely mentioned in the account, 00:11:12.680 --> 00:11:18.000 which is possibly because he's died by this point or maybe because his mother is not considered to be an heir. 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:25.480 Now in verse 1, we're told that Amnon loves Tamar, Absalom's sister and his half-sister. 00:11:26.340 --> 00:11:31.259 The NIV translates it, he fell in love, but falling love is an English phrase. 00:11:31.340 --> 00:11:32.139 It's not a Hebrew one. 00:11:32.299 --> 00:11:33.879 Fell is not there in the original. 00:11:34.059 --> 00:11:37.460 It doesn't imply that Amnon is the innocent victim of his feelings. 00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:39.639 He didn't fall into something. 00:11:40.759 --> 00:11:45.679 You don't have to read much of the passage before you can tell there's something wrong with this so-called love. 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:49.819 In verse 2, Amnon is tormented by his feelings for his sister. 00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:53.179 He's obsessed with her to the point of making himself ill, 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:57.939 so much so that his friend says to him that you look haggard every morning, verse 4. 00:11:59.079 --> 00:12:02.539 But the big clue, I think, and it comes early that this love is twisted, 00:12:02.679 --> 00:12:07.339 is when Amnon says that he cannot do anything to her in verse 2. 00:12:07.419 --> 00:12:08.399 That's why he's frustrated. 00:12:09.299 --> 00:12:15.079 In other words, his love for Amnon, as he calls it, is sinful because it wants to do what it wants to do. 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:17.740 It is essentially what? Selfish. 00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:20.660 He's not interested in her. 00:12:21.400 --> 00:12:25.900 He is interested in his own satisfaction of his own wicked desires. 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:30.220 And those desires are frustrated by Tamar's commitment to remain pure. 00:12:31.660 --> 00:12:34.259 You see the fakeness of this love again in verse 15, 00:12:34.340 --> 00:12:38.460 when after the horror of Amnon's actions, we're told that his love has turned to hate. 00:12:38.460 --> 00:12:45.759 In fact, if you look at verse 15, it almost stumbles over itself to say hate and hatred over and over. 00:12:46.920 --> 00:12:51.500 His self-interest is no longer desirous of Tamar, and hate takes the place of love. 00:12:53.139 --> 00:12:54.300 Now think about this. 00:12:54.420 --> 00:12:58.420 I know this is an ugly thing to think about, but the premise of the story is this. 00:12:58.419 --> 00:13:11.319 It is possible for you, it's possible for me, to have a feeling for someone which you mistakenly call love, 00:13:11.699 --> 00:13:15.659 which is really nothing more than a lust-fueled selfish desire. 00:13:16.779 --> 00:13:19.240 A desire which is a wicked twist of love. 00:13:19.240 --> 00:13:27.200 In other words, our sinful hearts take something that God has made good, love, desire for one another, 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:33.180 and we bend it out of shape into something twisted that it was never meant to be. 00:13:34.560 --> 00:13:41.039 And what, just think about this for a minute, what are the hallmarks of that kind of selfish love? 00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:44.680 Well, notice it's not weakness, is it? 00:13:44.679 --> 00:13:51.939 You might think this, you see, you might think that fake love, twisted love, is weaker than the real thing, 00:13:52.519 --> 00:13:54.159 and that that's how you might recognise it. 00:13:54.719 --> 00:14:00.259 But notice this, Amnon, doubtless, is not weak in his feelings, is he? 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:05.659 This love is strong, but it's fake. 00:14:06.620 --> 00:14:08.599 It's no less intense than real love. 00:14:08.899 --> 00:14:12.039 Fake love is obsessive in the passage, it's strong enough to make you ill. 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:14.419 Its distinctive is not its lack of strength. 00:14:14.679 --> 00:14:19.019 The distinctness of this twisted love is its self-interest. 00:14:19.899 --> 00:14:24.039 Concerned only for itself, only what it wants to do, only in having its desires fulfilled. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:31.879 Which is not love, because real love is by definition not a selfish emotion, but a selfless promise. 00:14:32.659 --> 00:14:37.439 A promise to give itself up for another, not just for the moment, but for the future. 00:14:38.439 --> 00:14:39.620 That's how God loves. 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:42.000 That's how he's made us to love. 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:48.840 That's why at the centre of Christian marriage is a promise of future commitment, 00:14:49.340 --> 00:14:52.559 not just a declaration of present desire. 00:14:53.240 --> 00:14:54.000 You know that, don't you? 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:58.820 The promise of marriage is a promise of future commitment, not just of present desire. 00:14:58.820 --> 00:15:05.260 So I would say to all of us this morning, young people especially, maybe, but all of us, I think, need to hear this, 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:09.640 that it is worth registering in your mind somewhere this truth, 00:15:10.379 --> 00:15:14.820 that not every strong desire that you have for another person is really love. 00:15:14.820 --> 00:15:24.260 However strong it may feel, because the sin in our hearts has a tendency to twist love into self-interested desire. 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:30.820 And like Amnon should have told that selfish desire to take a hike, but instead he acted on it and love became hate, 00:15:30.920 --> 00:15:33.360 which essentially is what it was all along. 00:15:33.720 --> 00:15:38.560 He hated Tamar from the very beginning because he was only ever interested in himself. 00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:41.579 So love that is not love. 00:15:41.699 --> 00:15:43.639 Secondly, friends that are not friends. 00:15:44.279 --> 00:15:48.059 David's nephew, Jonadab, appears a couple of times in the story. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:50.279 He's there at the beginning, giving Amnon a plan. 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:53.459 He's there at the end, telling David that Amnon is dead. 00:15:54.179 --> 00:15:57.699 Verse 3 introduces him as a friend of Amnon. 00:15:58.359 --> 00:16:02.139 But again, that turns out not to be the case, or at least not in the proper sense of the words, 00:16:02.139 --> 00:16:07.519 because Jonadab's craftiness at the end of verse 3 sets in motion the rest of the chapter, 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:09.939 leading even to Amnon's death. 00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:11.500 Some friend, that is. 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:18.179 The evangelist Glenn Scrivener has a YouTube video where he walks through this chapter retelling the story. 00:16:18.779 --> 00:16:23.240 And he points out that the fate of Tamar here is secured not just by the actions of Amnon, 00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:25.580 but by the culture around him. 00:16:25.580 --> 00:16:32.759 Friends and servants who could have stepped in but chose not to are complicit in Amnon's actions. 00:16:34.420 --> 00:16:40.960 What he points out is that essentially what you've got going on in 2 Samuel chapter 13 is a culture of abuse, 00:16:41.560 --> 00:16:45.080 an unsafe place for a beautiful young woman to be. 00:16:46.060 --> 00:16:46.960 And so it is today. 00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:50.379 Friends who are meant to lead us away from sin. 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.020 Friends who are meant to say hard but true things to us, 00:16:54.019 --> 00:16:55.659 even risking the friendship itself. 00:16:56.059 --> 00:16:59.019 Those friends can be twisted, just as they are here. 00:16:59.740 --> 00:17:03.079 And they lead Amnon deeper into the sin he should be running from. 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:07.379 Let me tell you that the Bible is full of these kinds of warnings. 00:17:08.819 --> 00:17:14.279 Psalm 1 tells you that there is a way of sinners that is sat in the company of mockers. 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:20.879 Proverbs 1 warns you against the danger of sinful men enticing you to do evil. 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:25.940 Again, it's worth registering, isn't it, that just as this previous point, 00:17:26.020 --> 00:17:30.720 that the powerful feelings of desire aren't always to be labelled love because they can be a twist of it. 00:17:31.020 --> 00:17:35.920 So it's right that you and I register this morning that not all things that look like friendship 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:39.040 are really friendship in the Bible's terms. 00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:47.619 If those around you are there to help you plan your sin, to lead you in it and leave you in it, 00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:49.839 they are not friends. 00:17:50.399 --> 00:17:53.079 They are a twisted version of friendship. 00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:57.339 And the sad truth is there are plenty of Jonadabs in the world. 00:17:57.759 --> 00:17:59.279 And you and I need to be aware of them. 00:17:59.399 --> 00:18:00.579 We need not to be them. 00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:03.440 And we need to be aware of them. 00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:06.500 Thirdly, family that is not family. 00:18:07.539 --> 00:18:10.080 We've touched already on the complexities of David's family, 00:18:10.180 --> 00:18:14.660 which becomes a tangled web of brothers and half-brothers and sisters and half-sisters. 00:18:15.460 --> 00:18:20.779 But what we need to notice first is that Tamar is painted in a universally positive light here in the passage. 00:18:21.720 --> 00:18:25.860 So she listens to her father's instructions in verse 8 to go and attend to Amnon. 00:18:25.859 --> 00:18:31.659 She's wearing the long-sleeved robe of a virgin princess in verse 18 as a mark of her holiness and purity. 00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:36.039 She even pleads with Amnon to take her as his wife in verse 13, 00:18:36.740 --> 00:18:41.839 willing to give herself to him as a wife, even though he only wants to take her for the moment. 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:48.019 But still, the half-brother who should have been looking out for her ends up attacking her. 00:18:48.419 --> 00:18:52.559 And what should have been a safe place becomes for her a dangerous and destructive place 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:58.599 as the beauty and security of family becomes the arena of selfish, sinful desire, 00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:00.700 incest in the king's family. 00:19:01.919 --> 00:19:07.579 Now again, as shocking as this is, it is a sad fact of the sin in our world that families, 00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:14.119 families which are designed by God to be a place of safety and security for the vulnerable and the weak, 00:19:14.659 --> 00:19:21.559 can become, because of sin's twistedness, some of the most unsafe places to live. 00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:24.759 And some of you here know the horror of this only too well. 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:29.240 Maybe you've experienced it in your own family or you've seen it close at hand. 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:36.559 This, if you like, under the microscope of 2 Samuel chapter 13 is the horror of selfish sin and its twistedness. 00:19:37.500 --> 00:19:40.019 It's showing you something good designed by God. 00:19:40.539 --> 00:19:46.359 Family taken and twisted into being the most dangerous place for the vulnerable and the weak, 00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:50.139 so that children can be abused by their siblings. 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:53.240 And it still happens today, doesn't it? 00:19:54.639 --> 00:19:58.359 Children can even be killed in the apparent safety of their mother's wombs. 00:19:59.559 --> 00:20:05.119 Family, designed by God for safety, becomes in 2 Samuel 13, 00:20:05.259 --> 00:20:09.240 under the twistedness of selfish sin, an unsafe place to be. 00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:15.140 Fourthly, and maybe most centrally, sex that is not sex. 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:20.980 A theologian called Carl Truman says this about the Bible's teaching in sex in his book, 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:22.779 The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self. 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:23.599 It says this, 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:49.480 It's a brilliant summary, isn't it? 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:51.480 The opposite of sex in the Bible. 00:20:51.900 --> 00:20:56.099 And it's a brilliant summary of the opposite of sex in 2 Samuel 13. 00:20:57.259 --> 00:21:00.480 Here, this is not given as a promise of the future. 00:21:00.740 --> 00:21:03.360 It's not given as a reflection of a commitment to one another. 00:21:03.819 --> 00:21:11.519 But instead, what is precious and sacred and designed for the marriage of a husband to a wife is taken by force. 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:19.480 And the whole way that this encounter is described is not meant by the author to make it salacious or intriguing. 00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:27.440 It's instead using Old Testament language, which is meant to kind of conjure up previous stories of such tragedies in the Bible. 00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:31.619 Jacob's daughter, Dinah, was violated in Shechem in Genesis 34. 00:21:32.539 --> 00:21:35.480 And this is what essentially Tamar is saying to Amnon. 00:21:35.619 --> 00:21:38.220 Listen, Amnon, this has happened before in Israel. 00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:39.859 Don't do this. 00:21:39.859 --> 00:21:41.759 Remember where this leads. 00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:44.759 Remember what happened when all the men in that town were killed. 00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:51.159 In verse 12, she says no to Amnon four times. 00:21:52.039 --> 00:21:55.199 Even trying to reason with him that it will lead to shame for them both. 00:21:55.899 --> 00:21:58.599 This is not the sort of thing that should be done amongst God's people. 00:21:58.959 --> 00:22:01.839 This will make you a fool, Amnon, she says in verse 13. 00:22:02.859 --> 00:22:05.359 Even offering to marry him, but all to no avail. 00:22:05.539 --> 00:22:06.839 And Amnon rapes her. 00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:13.019 The word the NIV translates as rape in verse 14 comes four times in this passage. 00:22:13.220 --> 00:22:14.500 Twice it's translated as rape. 00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:17.639 In verse 12, it's used as the word force. 00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:20.000 In verse 22, it's the word disgraced. 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.680 But the twisting of sex isn't just in the act of verse 14. 00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:26.480 It's all there in the buildup, isn't it? 00:22:26.819 --> 00:22:29.920 It's the sordid way he gets his moment alone with Tamar. 00:22:30.259 --> 00:22:33.319 The wicked desire plotting and planning to get its own way. 00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:40.440 As Tamar's beautiful innocence paints the backdrop of the darkness of his sin in even more vivid tones. 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:44.680 He even calls her and it's almost like fingers down a blackboard. 00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:45.440 It's awful, isn't it? 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:47.059 In verse 11, he calls her sister. 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:52.700 Not so much as a reference to their relationship as siblings, but essentially as a kind of Old Testament endearing words. 00:22:53.019 --> 00:22:54.039 Darling, precious. 00:22:55.320 --> 00:22:57.100 Everything good turned to something bad. 00:22:57.099 --> 00:23:06.859 Again, you see the horror of it in verse 17 when he calls his servant back into the room and tells him to put her out of his presence and bolt the door. 00:23:07.679 --> 00:23:12.639 Notice the way that Amnon is dealing with it here is as if he's in danger from her. 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:14.959 Get her out of my sight. 00:23:15.319 --> 00:23:16.879 Get her out of here and bolt the door. 00:23:16.980 --> 00:23:18.059 Keep me safe from her. 00:23:19.679 --> 00:23:24.899 So Tamar leaves, tears her robes, put ashes on her head and cries as she goes. 00:23:24.900 --> 00:23:31.980 Now, I know this is hard to listen to, especially if, like many of us, you've known something of this abuse personally. 00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:37.380 But I think if we're tracking the story now, you should be feeling a deep sense of rage. 00:23:38.500 --> 00:23:39.660 How dare he? 00:23:40.280 --> 00:23:41.840 How dare he do this? 00:23:42.620 --> 00:23:44.200 How could he do this? 00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:46.680 How wicked, how twisted. 00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:56.480 How can something beautiful, someone so beautiful, designed by God for his glory, be treated so poorly? 00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:00.880 This is the twisted horror of sin. 00:24:01.580 --> 00:24:05.920 This is the magnifying glass of 2 Samuel chapter 13. 00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:19.279 Let me show you, says the writer, how twisted and horrible is the human heart as it takes something good and uses it for itself in a selfish way. 00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:26.240 So much so is this the story of the whole chapter that it's not just the wickedness of the action in the moment. 00:24:26.359 --> 00:24:30.000 It's the disorder, isn't it, of what Amnon is living for and what he longs for. 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.519 How he goes about the whole thing. 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:37.779 And that goes on, doesn't it, all around us, especially in this area of sex. 00:24:38.879 --> 00:24:46.180 Sin-fueled desire twists what was designed for the marriage of one man to one woman and abuses it as a tool to be used for its own satisfaction, 00:24:46.180 --> 00:24:52.620 even using force and the twistedness of that, it takes loads of actions that people take. 00:24:54.500 --> 00:24:57.880 Let me say to you, if you're not a Christian this morning, if you don't believe in God, 00:24:58.360 --> 00:25:04.060 if you don't believe in judgment, you don't believe in moral responsibility of people before an eternal God, 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:09.380 then it is really difficult for you to explain the outrage that we all feel as we look at a story like this. 00:25:10.120 --> 00:25:14.680 You know, if you ditch God, you ditch all your rights to call this wicked, just along with him. 00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:17.360 You know, this is just bad luck for Tamar. 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:23.680 But if the Bible is true, then the outrage that we feel is because we sense what is being twisted, 00:25:24.380 --> 00:25:26.100 what was made good being made bad. 00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:31.539 And the big question for us then this morning is not so much why would a good God allow this, 00:25:32.120 --> 00:25:35.860 but why would people who have been made good be so selfish? 00:25:36.779 --> 00:25:38.160 Where are those desires from? 00:25:38.740 --> 00:25:41.320 What hope can there be for twisted people like that? 00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:44.740 Sex that is not sex. 00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:47.359 Fifthly, justice that isn't justice. 00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:53.279 We're going to deal with this more briefly, but it's the story of Absalom comes to the forefront from here on in, 00:25:53.319 --> 00:25:55.779 really, in the chapters to come. 00:25:57.679 --> 00:26:00.559 Absalom bides his time, doesn't he, in verse 22 and 23. 00:26:00.740 --> 00:26:08.399 He waits two whole years before acting, seemingly manipulates the situation to get Amnon away from the relative safety of Jerusalem, 00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:11.540 and he concocts a plan to kill Amnon. 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:15.640 Now, it's difficult to argue, isn't it, that Amnon doesn't deserve this. 00:26:15.700 --> 00:26:17.019 He does deserve to die. 00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:19.060 The Bible is really clear on that. 00:26:19.740 --> 00:26:21.100 He's ruined Tamar's life. 00:26:21.180 --> 00:26:23.640 She's living in desolation in Absalom's house. 00:26:23.860 --> 00:26:25.259 But this isn't justice. 00:26:25.580 --> 00:26:26.519 This is revenge. 00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:32.800 Revenge can feel like justice, but again, it is a twist of what is good into something wicked, 00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:34.460 far less than it should be. 00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:39.220 In verse 30, David is initially told that Absalom has killed all the king's sons. 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:42.359 And there's a time when that seems to be what's happened. 00:26:42.539 --> 00:26:46.700 But the brothers come back to Jerusalem by some long way round, it seems, 00:26:46.859 --> 00:26:50.419 presumably because they're scared, arriving after the initial messenger. 00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:54.480 But fulfilling Johanadab's words that only Amnon is dead, 00:26:54.940 --> 00:26:58.879 because he said that Absalom was getting revenge for Amnon's treatment of his sister. 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:07.820 So Absalom adds murder into the chaos and has to flee to Geshur to live in the palace of his maternal grandfather 00:27:07.820 --> 00:27:09.860 to the north of Israel. 00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.180 He leaves the rest of the family weeping in verse 36. 00:27:14.660 --> 00:27:16.460 Again, this is a shocking story. 00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:20.920 But it's worth seeing, isn't it, that this temptation to revenge is really a twist of justice. 00:27:21.900 --> 00:27:24.500 Something good turned to something bad. 00:27:24.500 --> 00:27:29.700 So that longing we have to take matters into our own hands, to try and sort them out ourselves, 00:27:30.339 --> 00:27:33.880 dreaming about doing our enemies over, about winning that argument with a clever comeback, 00:27:34.140 --> 00:27:36.940 that is not justice, that's selfish pride. 00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:40.819 And notice that it doesn't solve the problem. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:42.880 It makes it worse. 00:27:45.579 --> 00:27:50.759 You see, Amnon owed an answer, firstly not to Absalom, or even Tamar, he owed an answer to God. 00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:54.759 But Amnon stands before the court of God's justice, not Absalom's. 00:27:55.460 --> 00:27:57.700 And in a way, Absalom is doing what Amnon is doing. 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:01.000 He's taking the place of God and taking revenge, and it's not justice. 00:28:02.500 --> 00:28:05.359 Finally then, really briefly, a king who is not kingly. 00:28:06.379 --> 00:28:09.859 If you've been with us through the series so far, this is clearly the backdrop, isn't it? 00:28:09.859 --> 00:28:15.940 The adultery and murder of our chapter this morning, we've met before in King David himself. 00:28:15.940 --> 00:28:20.420 Really, this is like father, like son, isn't it? 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:23.180 David's weakness is all the way through this chapter. 00:28:24.019 --> 00:28:29.539 I mean, he surely suspected something, didn't he, in verse 7, when Amnon asked for Tamar to come and cook for him. 00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:31.279 Surely he knew something was going on. 00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:35.860 Then in verse 21, he's told about Amnon's wickedness, but he does nothing. 00:28:36.360 --> 00:28:37.779 He's furious, but he does nothing. 00:28:38.100 --> 00:28:42.700 And in verse 25, he's clearly been manipulated by Absalom, who has him wrapped around his finger, 00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:47.080 knowing that if he shames David into not coming to his party, he won't refuse Amnon, 00:28:48.100 --> 00:28:51.160 even if the request seems strange to David in verse 26. 00:28:52.180 --> 00:28:56.860 Even David's heartbreak at the death of his son at the end of the chapter looks more like weakness, 00:28:56.860 --> 00:29:00.080 because there seems no commitment to make Absalom answer for his crime, 00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:02.680 any more than he made Amnon answer for his crime. 00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:08.539 In other words, the picture here is a man who has lost control of his kingdom, 00:29:08.539 --> 00:29:14.680 whose own loose morality has filtered down into his family and makes it impossible for him to say anything. 00:29:14.740 --> 00:29:15.659 How can I say anything? 00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:20.399 David cuts a pathetic shape as king in chapter 13. 00:29:20.899 --> 00:29:22.399 And it was ever thus, yeah? 00:29:24.920 --> 00:29:30.579 The warning here of Absalom murdering Amnon and of the king not being kingly, 00:29:30.579 --> 00:29:38.460 that the warning is this, that whoever you turn to in this world to execute justice will ultimately let you down. 00:29:38.859 --> 00:29:43.960 Doesn't matter who it is, a political leader, a prime minister or president, 00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:48.819 opposition leaders, celebrity commentators, in the end they will let you down. 00:29:50.700 --> 00:29:54.899 A friend of mine is a lawyer and one of the things he does is he helps people get compensation 00:29:54.899 --> 00:29:57.379 for things that have been done wrong against them. 00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:02.519 I said to him once, we were sat at a music concert that we'd gone to together and I sat next to him and I said, 00:30:02.579 --> 00:30:04.420 do you know what, does the money ever help? 00:30:04.420 --> 00:30:09.519 And he looked at me and he went, never, never. 00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:17.600 We can't get justice because kings are not kingly and justice belongs to the Lord. 00:30:18.600 --> 00:30:20.320 And that's the end of chapter 13. 00:30:20.759 --> 00:30:24.700 Notice that God doesn't even get a mention in 2 Samuel chapter 13. 00:30:24.700 --> 00:30:29.960 Instead, it's a shocking picture of the twisting of what is good into what is bad. 00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:33.460 Sin grips the family of David and the nation of Israel. 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.720 But there is one more thing I think to say before we close. 00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:41.039 These chapters are not only written as a warning, a horror show of the sinfulness of a sin, 00:30:41.500 --> 00:30:46.259 but also to be a vivid reminder of how much we need a saviour. 00:30:46.259 --> 00:30:50.619 Listen, I hope you feel this and sense this from these chapters of 2 Samuel. 00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:57.319 You might feel yourself being on the receiving end of some of the wickedness of 2 Samuel 13. 00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:02.259 I hope that makes you realise you need someone who can undo that. 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:06.920 And for all of us, we see ourselves tangled up in the wickedness of this sin. 00:31:07.339 --> 00:31:09.920 Selfish sin is never a problem that everybody else has. 00:31:09.980 --> 00:31:12.519 It's also a problem that I have, that you have. 00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:14.339 And we need a saviour, don't we? 00:31:14.339 --> 00:31:17.480 We need the selfless act of a saviour. 00:31:18.379 --> 00:31:22.099 But we need a saviour who will undo the twistedness of our sin, 00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:24.699 who will turn wickedness into good. 00:31:25.619 --> 00:31:29.139 So along comes the Lord Jesus Christ, 00:31:29.859 --> 00:31:31.879 who is the fulfilment of the scriptures, isn't he? 00:31:31.899 --> 00:31:35.500 He is the one at the centre of the Bible, the hero of the scriptures. 00:31:36.459 --> 00:31:41.779 He has come as a saviour who loves with a real love, 00:31:41.779 --> 00:31:44.639 a love that is not fuelled by selfish desire, 00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.759 but love that is written in self-sacrifice for others. 00:31:49.319 --> 00:31:54.259 It's not about what Christ wants for himself, but about what he gives for us, 00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:57.859 laying down his own desires for the good of another. 00:31:59.019 --> 00:32:02.960 Jesus comes as a friend that will be a true friend. 00:32:03.779 --> 00:32:07.539 He'll be a friend that doesn't pave the road to wickedness and draw us away, 00:32:07.539 --> 00:32:11.899 but one who leads us into righteousness and obedience and goodness. 00:32:12.519 --> 00:32:16.819 Someone who leads the way to the loving Father, to live for him. 00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:20.379 Someone who will say the tough and difficult things to us and say, 00:32:20.539 --> 00:32:25.359 come, follow me, trust in me, live this way. 00:32:25.639 --> 00:32:28.119 I will be to you a true friend. 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:34.359 We see in Christ Jesus someone who brings us to a family that's really a family. 00:32:35.379 --> 00:32:38.719 The real safe place in the world, in the kingdom of God. 00:32:39.099 --> 00:32:43.059 Someone who adopts us into a relationship with the Father, who loves us. 00:32:43.299 --> 00:32:47.019 One who will keep us safe and protect us from all the mess that's around us in the world. 00:32:48.239 --> 00:32:53.259 We even have in Christ someone who fulfills this most powerful desire of sexual intimacy. 00:32:53.259 --> 00:32:56.740 Not so much showing us what it's for in this life, 00:32:56.799 --> 00:33:01.940 but to fulfill all that sex points to in the closeness of an eternal relationship, 00:33:01.940 --> 00:33:06.779 which is richer and deeper than even the best marriage in this life. 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:11.779 We have in the Lord Jesus someone who brings real justice. 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:18.099 Not the revenge of the angry, but a genuine eye-for-eye justice. 00:33:18.299 --> 00:33:22.400 When the wicked and unrepentant receive exactly what they deserve. 00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:28.339 Listen, if you this morning have been on the receiving end of the wickedness of people like Amnon, 00:33:28.539 --> 00:33:32.079 you can be sure that no one gets away with it. 00:33:33.140 --> 00:33:36.819 Justice will be done as people meet Christ as judge. 00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:45.460 And Christ himself has borne true justice for our sin in himself on the cross. 00:33:45.640 --> 00:33:47.259 There's no escaping justice. 00:33:47.460 --> 00:33:50.220 Either we face it or Christ face it on our behalf. 00:33:50.220 --> 00:33:55.559 And then we have, don't we, in Christ too, a king who is truly kingly. 00:33:56.279 --> 00:33:59.039 The good news for us this morning is that the man Christ Jesus, 00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:02.980 the eternal son of the living God, great David's greatest son, 00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:08.820 is the one who can untwist the wickedness of our sin and bring us into his heavenly family. 00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:12.220 So 2 Samuel 13 is meant to be a shocking chapter. 00:34:12.219 --> 00:34:15.799 But the shock is not meant to just scare you. 00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:21.439 It's meant to frighten you, if you like, into the arms of Jesus Christ. 00:34:22.980 --> 00:34:28.179 The one who loves, the bringer of justice, and the king of kings. 00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:29.980 Let me pray as I close. 00:34:29.980 --> 00:34:54.159 Heavenly Father, we recognize that we live in a world where sin has twisted the good things that you have made 00:34:54.159 --> 00:35:08.079 into evil things, that we take the blessings of love, friendship, family, sex, justice, kingly rule, 00:35:08.799 --> 00:35:11.599 and twist them into something for our own ends. 00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:20.860 And Lord, we come to you and ask for forgiveness and entrust ourselves to your saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, 00:35:21.699 --> 00:35:26.259 who untwists the sinfulness of our lives and our world 00:35:26.259 --> 00:35:32.940 and promises a place of true justice, where he is king of kings and lord of lords for all eternity. 00:35:32.940 --> 00:35:40.280 A place where love is really love, where intimacy is really intimacy, where friendship is really friendship, 00:35:40.860 --> 00:35:46.860 family is really family, justice is done, and you rule and reign through your son, the Lord Jesus. 00:35:47.820 --> 00:35:51.300 Heavenly Father, we pray, bring us safely to that place we ask. 00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:53.840 In Jesus' name, amen. 00:35:54.539 --> 00:35:54.780 Amen.