WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:19.160 Last week we started a series on marriage and the family as we have arrived at this 00:00:19.160 --> 00:00:20.600 point in the book of Ephesians. 00:00:21.300 --> 00:00:27.699 And we talked last week about the fact that marriage is not first and foremost about us. 00:00:27.699 --> 00:00:33.140 That's not actually the primary reason that God designed marriage in the first place. 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:40.719 What God had in mind in marriage was to reveal a mystery, was to show people the reality of 00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:45.299 a relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church. 00:00:46.039 --> 00:00:53.859 We said that marriage, rather than ours, was the primary story, the real Cinderella story. 00:00:53.859 --> 00:01:00.840 It's the story of Jesus, right, the prince of heaven who didn't consider His privileged 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:05.640 position in heaven as something to hold on to, something that He needed to grab tightly, 00:01:05.819 --> 00:01:10.980 but He left His throne and He came down to grab hold of us. 00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:18.280 It's a story where the princess He comes after is not lovely on her own. 00:01:18.280 --> 00:01:23.140 Just in her own condition, she's not attractive. 00:01:23.900 --> 00:01:28.439 She's actually abandoned and forlorn and pitiful. 00:01:29.900 --> 00:01:31.620 But the prince loves her. 00:01:32.780 --> 00:01:37.640 That's the story, is that the prince loves that bride. 00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:44.299 That he pursues his bride all the way to his own death just so he can have her hand. 00:01:44.299 --> 00:01:53.179 That he actually lays down his own life for her, a high cost in order to have her as his bride. 00:01:53.479 --> 00:01:55.439 He sacrifices his own life. 00:01:55.579 --> 00:02:02.479 He dies for her, purifies her, restores her to her original beauty and lives in love with 00:02:02.479 --> 00:02:03.519 her forever. 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:06.439 It's a glorious story. 00:02:06.439 --> 00:02:13.039 And the most glorious part about it is that it's true that Jesus actually loves us like that. 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:17.979 That's the story of marriage. 00:02:18.239 --> 00:02:24.099 So when we begin to read about marriage, the first thing that we ought to understand is we're 00:02:24.099 --> 00:02:28.799 not to get so focused on our own marriages that we miss the great story. 00:02:29.780 --> 00:02:36.620 It's in that context of the love of Jesus for us that we all are to live as His people and to 00:02:36.620 --> 00:02:38.739 tell that story to others. 00:02:38.740 --> 00:02:44.500 And then some of us within that group of God's people who are all telling the story, some of 00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:48.719 us have a particular job of telling that through our marriages. 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:53.760 Paul's telling us that husbands and wives are to be storytellers. 00:02:54.260 --> 00:03:01.680 To be retelling and reenacting for all to see that glorious story in our relationship with 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:08.460 each other, a relationship where we're not the heroes, He is, but where we get to tell 00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:13.480 in a special way the grandest story, the one the world most needs to hear. 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:18.780 So today we're going to look at how husbands are to do that. 00:03:19.200 --> 00:03:22.219 And next week we'll look at instructions to wives. 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:24.300 Now why in that order? 00:03:24.480 --> 00:03:26.800 You know, why not ladies first after all? 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:28.819 Isn't that the way it's supposed to go? 00:03:28.819 --> 00:03:35.479 There's a very spiritual theological reason for this, and that is that if I put that sermon 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:41.400 off for one more week, there's an increased chance of Jesus coming back before I'm forced 00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:42.079 to preach it. 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:47.099 And so that's the very important reason that we're starting with husbands. 00:03:47.859 --> 00:03:49.060 I'm just kidding. 00:03:50.259 --> 00:03:50.939 Mostly. 00:03:53.780 --> 00:03:57.659 We will look at Paul's words to wives next week. 00:03:57.659 --> 00:04:02.020 But we're going to read the entire passage again this morning, focusing on Paul's words 00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:06.180 to husbands and their role in telling the grand story. 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:08.379 Ephesians 5 at verse 22. 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:12.319 Hear God's holy, inerrant, infallible word. 00:04:13.579 --> 00:04:16.519 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:04:16.899 --> 00:04:21.360 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, 00:04:21.639 --> 00:04:23.339 and is himself its Savior. 00:04:23.339 --> 00:04:28.979 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their 00:04:28.979 --> 00:04:29.439 husbands. 00:04:30.659 --> 00:04:36.519 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he 00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:41.819 might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that 00:04:41.819 --> 00:04:47.539 he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:50.759 that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:55.240 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:04:56.079 --> 00:04:58.079 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:04:58.500 --> 00:05:04.279 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:06.500 because we are members of his body. 00:05:07.779 --> 00:05:12.240 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:13.819 shall become one flesh. 00:05:13.819 --> 00:05:20.019 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:05:21.379 --> 00:05:26.680 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects 00:05:26.680 --> 00:05:27.680 her husband. 00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:29.279 Pray with me. 00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:43.219 Oh, Father, open our eyes this morning that we would behold wonderful things in your word. 00:05:44.219 --> 00:05:50.359 Your word is precious to us, so speak to us through it, we pray. 00:05:50.799 --> 00:05:52.179 It is perfect. 00:05:52.759 --> 00:05:54.779 Your word is perfect. 00:05:54.779 --> 00:05:54.899 Perfect. 00:05:55.559 --> 00:05:59.019 The man who speaks is not. 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:05.939 He's a husband who's far from perfect, who sees more of his failures than successes. 00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:09.619 And so, Father, we need you to speak. 00:06:09.919 --> 00:06:18.639 Speak in spite of me for the glory of Jesus, the perfect husband, in whose name we pray. 00:06:19.339 --> 00:06:19.679 Amen. 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:19.819 Amen. 00:06:21.900 --> 00:06:28.860 You know how sometimes things seem like really good ideas in your head, and then when they 00:06:28.860 --> 00:06:33.280 actually play themselves out in reality, you know, not so much? 00:06:34.379 --> 00:06:40.360 Well, when Christy and I were engaged, I had about nine months or so, you know, to figure 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:41.980 this husbanding thing out. 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:43.720 It was very important to me. 00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:47.939 I really wanted to be a godly husband, a good spiritual leader. 00:06:47.939 --> 00:06:50.259 And so, I thought, I know what I'm going to do. 00:06:50.740 --> 00:06:56.819 During these nine months, I'm going to, on my own, go away and privately study through 00:06:56.819 --> 00:06:57.639 the Psalms. 00:06:58.319 --> 00:07:04.879 So, I started doing that, and I started studying the Psalms, reading commentaries, taking notes 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:10.220 of all of the key things that I learned, even picking, like, hymns and songs to go with 00:07:10.220 --> 00:07:11.139 each Psalm, right? 00:07:11.180 --> 00:07:17.159 Because I'm going to be ready to lead my wife the first few weeks of our marriage. 00:07:17.160 --> 00:07:23.780 And I think that if we had just stuck with it long enough to get with my wonderful thoughts 00:07:23.780 --> 00:07:30.400 on, like, Psalm 4 or 5, if we'd gotten there, I think maybe it would have stuck. 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:39.560 But having set myself up as the one who had all of the wonderful thoughts, among many other 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:46.859 things wrong with that approach was I was forgetting the mutuality of marriage, that we have mutual 00:07:46.859 --> 00:07:52.120 needs that we struggle with, things that we both need to learn. 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:55.959 And so, I'd set myself up in this case as the expert, right? 00:07:56.139 --> 00:08:02.800 The one who'd studied much ahead of time and had many, many books worth of wisdom to teach 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:05.860 and direct my wife in all things spiritual. 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:10.340 And that, of course, would be a pattern for a marriage where I would be the one who has 00:08:10.340 --> 00:08:14.879 it all together, has things figured out, and would be bringing her up to speed all of the 00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:15.980 time, apparently. 00:08:15.980 --> 00:08:18.800 Brilliant idea. 00:08:18.860 --> 00:08:21.580 If you're not married yet, don't do that. 00:08:25.180 --> 00:08:31.120 Equally unhelpful, though, was my reaction to this idea not working so well. 00:08:31.319 --> 00:08:37.379 What do you think I felt when I basically put my best foot forward and fell on my face? 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:38.759 What was my reaction to that? 00:08:38.759 --> 00:08:42.519 Backing away altogether, right? 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.659 I don't want to fail again. 00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:47.139 I hate that feeling. 00:08:47.639 --> 00:08:50.139 I guess I just should have nothing to do with this. 00:08:50.379 --> 00:08:51.639 Really nothing to say. 00:08:51.700 --> 00:08:53.639 I don't have anything to offer in this area. 00:08:53.639 --> 00:08:58.419 I'm going to stay back, play it safe, not risk failing again. 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:04.279 And I think both of those are struggles we have regularly as husbands. 00:09:04.279 --> 00:09:11.379 On the one hand, in our pride, we're at times overly presumptuous. 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:15.299 We're high and mighty, belittling our wives. 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:26.939 Or, in our insecurity, in our self-doubt, we're passive, withdrawn, neglecting our wives 00:09:26.939 --> 00:09:27.620 altogether. 00:09:28.860 --> 00:09:30.019 We struggle with that. 00:09:30.019 --> 00:09:35.000 Before we even get to Paul's words directly to husbands in this passage, husbands find 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:36.500 out in verse 23 what? 00:09:37.059 --> 00:09:42.419 Their role in the story is to be the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the 00:09:42.419 --> 00:09:42.840 church. 00:09:43.980 --> 00:09:52.939 Now, that word head in this context refers primarily not to superiority over, but to responsibility 00:09:52.939 --> 00:09:57.319 for those who have been entrusted to one's care. 00:09:57.320 --> 00:10:02.080 So, we're called to be the head of the wife. 00:10:02.220 --> 00:10:08.040 And it's important to point out what that means and doesn't mean because men have misused 00:10:08.040 --> 00:10:13.960 this verse to justify abusing the authority they've been given by God in marriage. 00:10:15.160 --> 00:10:16.460 Assuming they're wiser. 00:10:17.560 --> 00:10:19.660 Concluding they should make all the decisions. 00:10:19.659 --> 00:10:23.879 Relegating their wives to being controlled by them. 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:29.819 Trying to teach their wives the Psalms from a position of superior knowledge and all those 00:10:29.819 --> 00:10:31.179 things that we all do, right? 00:10:31.299 --> 00:10:34.120 Y'all all did that when you were engaged, right? 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:35.819 You didn't all do that? 00:10:36.439 --> 00:10:38.159 Well, you did stuff like that, right? 00:10:38.259 --> 00:10:42.240 You thought you were going to have it together and teach her. 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:48.159 And it's disgraceful of the image of God in the women we're married to. 00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:55.100 Further, as we'll see in this passage, it completely misses the picture of the way Jesus serves the 00:10:55.100 --> 00:10:56.500 church as her Savior. 00:10:57.039 --> 00:11:00.019 It doesn't tell the story well at all. 00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:04.560 You're not playing that role because you're better than she is. 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:10.519 But, on the other hand, God has designed you for and called you to it. 00:11:13.259 --> 00:11:20.179 On the other hand, all the way back to the Garden of Eden, the opposite struggle has been 00:11:20.179 --> 00:11:22.519 one that men particularly wrestle with. 00:11:23.299 --> 00:11:24.419 We call it passivity. 00:11:25.079 --> 00:11:31.559 Just as Adam in the garden stood idly by while Eve was tempted and fell into sin, 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:35.159 standing by, not stepping forward. 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:42.899 I would say especially these days, men abdicate this role of headship even more than they abuse it. 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:50.559 We abdicate the responsibility God has given us for those in our care even more often than we 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:51.259 overdo it. 00:11:51.459 --> 00:11:56.019 We more often neglect than we do overdo things. 00:11:56.019 --> 00:12:01.559 We fear failure, perhaps like I did after experiencing it. 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:06.860 We doubt our ability to fulfill such a high calling. 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:11.079 And after all, our role is to be like Jesus, right? 00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:12.120 That's the role we're given. 00:12:12.259 --> 00:12:14.740 So, I mean, really, who's going to be able to live up to that? 00:12:15.379 --> 00:12:20.379 And so the self-doubt comes, I could never possibly do it well enough. 00:12:20.659 --> 00:12:24.240 For some of us, we've just dealt with pressure at work all day. 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:26.320 One decision after the next. 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:28.519 And we come home and what we want is to check out. 00:12:29.159 --> 00:12:31.180 Not to have to speak into anything. 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:32.560 No decisions to make. 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:34.259 No responsibilities to have. 00:12:34.340 --> 00:12:37.220 And so we don't provide any leadership at all. 00:12:38.399 --> 00:12:42.039 And doing nothing is certainly not the role of Jesus either. 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:45.879 Being domineering is not what Jesus was like. 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:49.360 But doing nothing is not what He's like either. 00:12:49.799 --> 00:12:52.980 If we're to be responsible for those God has put in our care, 00:12:52.980 --> 00:12:55.659 we have to engage with them, not be checked out. 00:12:56.820 --> 00:12:59.360 We have to listen and understand their hearts. 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:02.700 Not just blow them off or patronize them. 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:06.300 We have to think intentionally about what's best for them. 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:10.639 Not just placate their every whim in order to buy ourselves some peace and quiet. 00:13:12.060 --> 00:13:14.519 Men, we do those things. 00:13:14.920 --> 00:13:15.659 All of them. 00:13:15.659 --> 00:13:20.100 All of that is entailed in being a husband. 00:13:20.339 --> 00:13:24.959 In doing our part to show the incredible story of Christ pursuing, 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.939 initiating, going after His bride and saving and cleansing her. 00:13:30.299 --> 00:13:35.939 So if it's not domineering on the one hand and it's not neglecting our wives on the other, 00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:38.980 what does this role, this headship look like? 00:13:39.299 --> 00:13:41.579 What does God call us to as husbands? 00:13:41.580 --> 00:13:41.780 Husbands. 00:13:42.580 --> 00:13:46.800 The clear answer of this passage is love. 00:13:49.080 --> 00:13:50.620 It starts with love. 00:13:51.040 --> 00:13:52.100 Look at verse 25. 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:55.360 Husbands, love your wives. 00:13:56.820 --> 00:14:00.000 It continues in the middle of the passage, verse 28, 00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:03.580 in the same ways husbands should love their wives. 00:14:03.740 --> 00:14:06.400 And he gets all the way to the end and he's summarizing what he said. 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:07.980 And verse 33 says, 00:14:08.419 --> 00:14:12.100 Let each one of you love his wife as himself. 00:14:13.220 --> 00:14:17.899 It's not hard to figure out what Paul's message for husbands is, is it? 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:20.279 Love your wives. 00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:23.079 It doesn't get much clearer than that, 00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:26.199 but let's try to make it a little more tangible for us. 00:14:26.299 --> 00:14:29.799 It's easy to say, it's easy to say I love you, right? 00:14:30.199 --> 00:14:35.279 But harder to experience that reality, to actually demonstrate it. 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:39.639 As Paul describes what it means for husbands to love their wives, 00:14:40.079 --> 00:14:44.639 he says there are really two things to keep in mind and be regularly doing 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:47.199 to play your part in this story well. 00:14:47.459 --> 00:14:48.120 Two things. 00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:50.980 The first is lay down your life. 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:55.159 The second is lift her life up. 00:14:55.620 --> 00:14:59.419 Lay your life down and lift her life up. 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:01.959 That's what this love looks like. 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:09.620 I want those two simple thoughts to be constantly running through our minds day by day. 00:15:09.940 --> 00:15:11.519 Men, we've got to be thinking, 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:16.980 what does it look like for me today to be laying my life down and lifting her life up? 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:22.300 Because when these two realities become regular parts of your relationship with your wife, 00:15:22.519 --> 00:15:26.639 you'll be displaying the love of Jesus for his bride through your marriage. 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.500 And that's what it's all about. 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:33.379 So first, lay down your life. 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:35.259 Verse 25 again. 00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:37.539 Husbands, love your wives. 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:38.199 How? 00:15:38.379 --> 00:15:39.720 What's it going to look like? 00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:44.879 As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:15:45.419 --> 00:15:47.080 As we saw last week, 00:15:47.439 --> 00:15:51.919 the love of Jesus for his church involves sacrificial action. 00:15:52.460 --> 00:15:53.460 It's costly. 00:15:53.460 --> 00:15:59.500 You've heard of husbands sacrificing others, wives, children, friends, 00:15:59.660 --> 00:16:03.940 on the altars of their own goals, their own success, their own glory. 00:16:04.400 --> 00:16:07.300 But the love described here is exactly the opposite of that. 00:16:07.580 --> 00:16:10.940 It sacrifices self for the sake of others. 00:16:11.540 --> 00:16:13.300 In this case, one's wife. 00:16:14.379 --> 00:16:18.840 The word itself that Paul uses for love here in this passage is agapao. 00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:25.879 The word that means the self-giving love that seeks the good of the beloved rather than of self. 00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:33.220 Love, remember from 1 Corinthians 13 and that great passage, is not self-seeking. 00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:41.060 So being a husband by definition can't be about serving the power, glory, and success of yourself. 00:16:41.059 --> 00:16:43.859 It's intended to be a costly role. 00:16:44.119 --> 00:16:48.319 To protect your wife, you may have to suffer great cost to yourself. 00:16:48.819 --> 00:16:52.359 Being a husband is not a safe role to play in the story. 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.759 And you don't get a stunt double for it. 00:16:55.099 --> 00:16:55.779 It's yours. 00:16:56.959 --> 00:17:00.079 I remember in middle school and high school, at least where I grew up, 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:05.500 that if a guy was interested in going out with a girl or wanted to take her to a dance, 00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:07.840 he never asked her first. 00:17:08.740 --> 00:17:09.980 Who did he ask first? 00:17:10.620 --> 00:17:11.920 Did you all do this at your school? 00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:14.960 Who do you ask first if you wonder if she likes you? 00:17:16.259 --> 00:17:17.819 Yeah, you ask her friends, right? 00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:21.319 Now, why do you ask her friends first? 00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:24.960 Yeah, because you're a wimp, right? 00:17:26.819 --> 00:17:27.799 Essentially, yes. 00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:36.139 Because the guy doesn't want to risk the potential cost of embarrassment or rejection 00:17:36.139 --> 00:17:41.299 or public shaming in the middle school cafeteria and other horrific things. 00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:47.559 The disgrace that would come upon a guy if she didn't like him back, right? 00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:52.720 So before asking her, I'll find out what the answer would probably be. 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:57.500 The terrible pattern in that is that the guy would stand safely back 00:17:57.500 --> 00:18:02.099 at the trunk of the tree while pushing the girl out on the proverbial limb, right? 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:03.740 Do you see how that happens? 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:06.220 I'm not going to be the one who gets burned. 00:18:06.420 --> 00:18:09.279 I'm going to push you out there and then see. 00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:13.140 He protects himself and his reputation at all costs. 00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:22.019 Godly love, on the other hand, risks self and sacrifices self to protect the beloved. 00:18:22.019 --> 00:18:27.240 It walks out on the limb and takes the heat for the difficult decision rather than passing 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:30.200 the buck to her from the safety of silence. 00:18:31.900 --> 00:18:33.980 Guys, think about what's valuable to you. 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.639 What's something that you think, oh, that's really valuable to me? 00:18:38.420 --> 00:18:41.440 Think along the lines of national championship tickets. 00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:44.819 Think of promotion at work. 00:18:45.779 --> 00:18:49.059 Think that car that I've had my eye on for a while. 00:18:49.059 --> 00:18:51.659 I know those are things that would be valuable to me. 00:18:53.079 --> 00:18:56.399 Ask yourself, what would you do in order to get that? 00:18:57.339 --> 00:18:59.899 What would you sacrifice in order to have it? 00:19:00.099 --> 00:19:00.460 Money? 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:02.399 Time? 00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:05.899 Even rearranging your calendar so that you can be a part of it? 00:19:06.740 --> 00:19:09.720 That's how you can really tell something's valuable to you, isn't it? 00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:14.059 By thinking of what you would give up in order to have that. 00:19:14.059 --> 00:19:18.819 Do you wonder if you're sacrificing for your wife? 00:19:19.659 --> 00:19:23.679 Or if you're sacrificing your wife for what you really value? 00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:29.899 Ask her if she feels valued by and beloved to you. 00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:36.879 What could you do that would make her feel valued by you the way Christ values us? 00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:39.579 What sacrifices could you make? 00:19:39.579 --> 00:19:45.039 As I've thought about sacrifice recently, I've realized that for many of our wives, 00:19:45.179 --> 00:19:48.799 from the beginning of the relationship, they've sacrificed a lot. 00:19:49.339 --> 00:19:54.319 Perhaps not just marrying me, I understand that in itself sticks out, 00:19:54.480 --> 00:20:01.679 but sometimes their own plans or agendas or goals, careers. 00:20:02.399 --> 00:20:06.059 And many of them have sacrificed for their husbands. 00:20:06.059 --> 00:20:12.599 And we often get stuck thinking about our careers, our goals, our plans. 00:20:13.139 --> 00:20:16.319 And we say, oh, it's for the sake of my family. 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:20.720 I'm just providing for my family, which is a very important thing. 00:20:20.940 --> 00:20:21.819 Don't get me wrong. 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.419 But if we're honest, guys, is it often beyond providing 00:20:26.419 --> 00:20:32.299 and more about pursuing my own dreams and goals and success? 00:20:32.299 --> 00:20:36.419 Does your marriage seem costly to you? 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:41.119 If marriage seems to be costing you, husbands, that's the idea. 00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:43.960 That's the story we're telling. 00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:51.299 Marriage, Paul says, is not about finding a wife who can help you move to the top of the social circle, 00:20:51.659 --> 00:20:56.579 have your physical desires fulfilled, or really succeed in professional life. 00:20:56.919 --> 00:20:57.619 It's not. 00:20:57.619 --> 00:21:04.639 It's about committing to moving down, to love your wife, to value and cherish her. 00:21:04.939 --> 00:21:07.759 That's the story of Christ's love for His church, isn't it? 00:21:08.879 --> 00:21:12.919 He laid His life down to rescue and protect her. 00:21:14.639 --> 00:21:17.799 Now, you may be willing to take a bullet for your wife. 00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:22.059 But in the meantime, while you're waiting on that opportunity, 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:24.599 as I've heard several of our wives say, 00:21:25.639 --> 00:21:26.899 would you unload the dishwasher? 00:21:27.700 --> 00:21:29.839 Or pay attention to the kids? 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:32.720 Or listen to what's on my heart? 00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:36.619 How do you know Christ cherishes the church? 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:41.319 Because He came for her at great cost to Himself. 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:43.859 He sacrificed everything for her. 00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:49.579 Telling that great story in your marriage will require valuing your wife dearly 00:21:49.579 --> 00:21:52.500 and sacrificing yourself for her good. 00:21:53.299 --> 00:21:54.500 That's what it looks like. 00:21:55.439 --> 00:22:02.159 And sacrificing yourself for her good brings us to the other side of the coin of laying your life down, 00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:04.099 is lifting her life up. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:08.799 This is pictured beautifully in verses 26 and 27, 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:11.259 when verse 25 ends up saying, 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:13.859 giving Himself up for her. 00:22:14.220 --> 00:22:19.399 That the goal of what we're doing in our marriages is for her, for our wives. 00:22:20.339 --> 00:22:21.579 And then how does He describe it? 00:22:21.619 --> 00:22:24.079 What's going to happen to her as we lift her life up? 00:22:24.460 --> 00:22:26.139 That He might sanctify her, 00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:29.460 having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word. 00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:33.220 So that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:35.799 without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, 00:22:35.799 --> 00:22:38.460 that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:42.740 And don't forget, that's not the way she is when He finds her, is it? 00:22:43.659 --> 00:22:49.379 He finds her not looking like this and He's going to make her into that. 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:55.980 The love I'm called to show my wife involves intentional consideration of what blesses her. 00:22:57.159 --> 00:23:01.399 It seeks to understand her needs and move toward meeting them. 00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:04.200 Ask yourself honestly, 00:23:04.740 --> 00:23:07.640 do you think or dwell more on what she needs 00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:11.019 or what you need from your marriage? 00:23:11.360 --> 00:23:12.880 What's the focus of your heart? 00:23:14.340 --> 00:23:17.920 What's the focus of your heart when you're frustrated about your marriage? 00:23:18.280 --> 00:23:19.580 There you go, that's an easier one for you. 00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:23.060 I'll tell you what the focus of your heart is when you're frustrated about your marriage. 00:23:23.280 --> 00:23:25.600 I'm not getting what I need out of this relationship. 00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:28.019 Where do our hearts focus so quickly? 00:23:28.019 --> 00:23:31.359 What are my needs? 00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:34.779 Look back again at what Jesus' love did for us. 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:38.700 He saw that we were dirty and He began to wash us clean. 00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:41.720 He saw we were impure and began to make us pure. 00:23:42.099 --> 00:23:47.440 He saw we were neglected and forlorn and began to make us beautiful and full of splendor. 00:23:49.180 --> 00:23:50.259 I'd say it this way, 00:23:50.599 --> 00:23:52.720 part of the responsibility of the husband 00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:58.940 is to make sure his wife experiences God's grace in her life in a transforming way. 00:24:00.339 --> 00:24:02.120 That's what she most needs, right? 00:24:03.140 --> 00:24:06.839 She needs His grace to be impacting her life. 00:24:07.059 --> 00:24:08.460 So that's what lifts her up. 00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:11.460 That's what makes her into the woman God has created her to be. 00:24:12.019 --> 00:24:15.480 Sanctifies her by washing with water through the Word. 00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:19.700 We can't ignore the priority of the Word of God in this. 00:24:20.059 --> 00:24:25.000 Just as Jesus uses it in our lives to cleanse and sanctify His church, 00:24:25.259 --> 00:24:28.599 so we must see that our wives are exposed to God's Word 00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:31.079 in a regular and transformative way, 00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:35.579 which is different from teaching them the Psalms every day of your marriage 00:24:35.579 --> 00:24:37.079 like you know them better than they do. 00:24:38.539 --> 00:24:39.680 It's more than that. 00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:43.120 And one of the things I've learned about spiritual headship 00:24:43.120 --> 00:24:45.400 or being a spiritual leader in my family 00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:51.660 is that it is typically more about me pointing them to Jesus Himself 00:24:51.660 --> 00:24:55.259 than being Jesus myself. 00:24:56.460 --> 00:24:59.080 That's usually more helpful. 00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:00.620 And that may seem obvious, 00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:04.000 but what I mean is that the comfort in this passage for husbands 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.480 is that God is calling husbands to do for their wives 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:11.180 something Jesus is constantly doing for all of us. 00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:13.839 So it's not all on us. 00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:16.900 By the way, ladies, 00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:20.319 that's why you're not lesser Christians 00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:23.079 or incomplete people 00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:25.519 if you have no husband 00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:28.079 or one who doesn't love you well. 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:31.440 Because your being loved 00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:33.000 and led 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:34.700 and made radiant 00:25:34.700 --> 00:25:38.400 has never been all on one man. 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:41.940 Jesus cares passionately about it. 00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:45.340 He's committed to that for you 00:25:45.340 --> 00:25:46.980 whether you don't have a husband 00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:49.059 or has one who's never loved you 00:25:49.059 --> 00:25:50.360 like He does. 00:25:52.080 --> 00:25:52.799 So I'm convinced 00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:55.080 that some of my best spiritual leadership 00:25:55.080 --> 00:25:56.819 has been when I've just 00:25:56.819 --> 00:25:59.200 quit trying to fix things myself 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:01.240 and prayed for Jesus to help. 00:26:01.240 --> 00:26:04.779 Asked Him to do what I was failing to do 00:26:04.779 --> 00:26:06.620 for my family. 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:09.620 It's why saying I'm sorry 00:26:09.620 --> 00:26:11.319 is often great leadership 00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:12.400 because in repentance 00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:13.680 we point to Jesus 00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:15.539 and highlight our need 00:26:15.539 --> 00:26:17.000 for Him and for His help. 00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:18.400 And I know these sound like 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:20.200 just basic spiritual things. 00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:21.579 Just the Bible 00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:22.559 and pray 00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:23.339 and repent 00:26:23.339 --> 00:26:25.519 and you knew all of those 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:26.599 before you got here. 00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:28.920 But do you do it for your wife? 00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:29.980 That's what it means 00:26:29.980 --> 00:26:31.980 to lift your wife up. 00:26:32.660 --> 00:26:34.720 To be concerned about her needs. 00:26:34.820 --> 00:26:36.300 To point her to Jesus. 00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:38.259 To pray that He would make her flourish 00:26:38.259 --> 00:26:39.680 and even use you 00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:40.620 and your successes 00:26:40.620 --> 00:26:41.779 and in your failures 00:26:41.779 --> 00:26:44.340 to that end in her life. 00:26:46.060 --> 00:26:47.039 This may sound like 00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:48.400 a little bit of a bleak picture 00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:49.300 for husbands. 00:26:49.900 --> 00:26:50.740 I am one. 00:26:50.800 --> 00:26:51.539 I don't want it to be 00:26:51.539 --> 00:26:52.900 a bleak picture 00:26:52.900 --> 00:26:54.400 laying down your own life 00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:55.259 lifting her up. 00:26:55.560 --> 00:26:56.779 Listen, here's the beautiful thing. 00:26:56.840 --> 00:26:57.420 We're going to see this 00:26:57.420 --> 00:26:58.500 this week and next week 00:26:58.500 --> 00:26:59.140 in marriage. 00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:00.960 The beautiful thing about it 00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:02.060 is that in marriage 00:27:02.060 --> 00:27:03.240 we're actually connected 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:03.940 to each other. 00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:06.460 So we don't have to have 00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:07.200 one go up 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:08.279 and the other go down. 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:09.560 Because you're united 00:27:09.560 --> 00:27:10.279 to each other 00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:11.900 you actually thrive together. 00:27:12.460 --> 00:27:13.140 I think it's what 00:27:13.140 --> 00:27:14.720 verse 28 means by 00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.460 he who loves his wife 00:27:16.460 --> 00:27:18.080 loves himself. 00:27:19.080 --> 00:27:20.279 It's part of the mystery 00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:21.180 of our connection 00:27:21.180 --> 00:27:21.840 in marriage. 00:27:22.060 --> 00:27:23.320 When the church looks like 00:27:23.320 --> 00:27:24.720 a pure and radiant bride 00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:26.160 Jesus gets glory too 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:26.640 doesn't He? 00:27:27.420 --> 00:27:29.060 When your bride 00:27:29.060 --> 00:27:30.920 flourishes and thrives 00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:32.519 you do along with her. 00:27:33.340 --> 00:27:34.460 In many relationships 00:27:34.460 --> 00:27:35.720 when one party thrives 00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:36.860 the other one suffers. 00:27:37.500 --> 00:27:38.500 There's only so much 00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:39.100 to go around 00:27:39.100 --> 00:27:40.060 so when one goes up 00:27:40.060 --> 00:27:41.680 the other one goes down. 00:27:42.380 --> 00:27:43.840 But the beauty of marriage 00:27:43.840 --> 00:27:44.700 is we're connected 00:27:44.700 --> 00:27:45.560 to each other. 00:27:46.380 --> 00:27:47.820 United in one flesh 00:27:47.820 --> 00:27:49.019 so when we lay down 00:27:49.019 --> 00:27:50.320 our lives for our wives 00:27:50.320 --> 00:27:52.160 and lift their lives up 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:53.500 we're lifted up 00:27:53.500 --> 00:27:54.660 along with them. 00:27:54.660 --> 00:27:57.640 So if you're not married 00:27:57.640 --> 00:27:58.800 but considering it 00:27:58.800 --> 00:27:59.960 make sure you've asked 00:27:59.960 --> 00:28:01.120 yourself if you're willing 00:28:01.120 --> 00:28:02.400 to lay down your life 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:03.340 for your wife 00:28:03.340 --> 00:28:04.860 and lift hers up. 00:28:05.340 --> 00:28:06.360 Don't marry someone 00:28:06.360 --> 00:28:07.259 because they make you 00:28:07.259 --> 00:28:07.880 look good 00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:09.320 or meet your needs. 00:28:09.580 --> 00:28:10.500 Are you willing 00:28:10.500 --> 00:28:11.460 to meet hers? 00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:14.060 If you are married 00:28:14.060 --> 00:28:14.880 are you intentionally 00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.460 seeking your wife's 00:28:16.460 --> 00:28:17.019 flourishing? 00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:18.320 Are you seeking 00:28:18.320 --> 00:28:19.779 to help her experience 00:28:19.779 --> 00:28:20.560 God's grace 00:28:20.560 --> 00:28:21.140 in her life? 00:28:21.140 --> 00:28:22.160 Are you bringing her 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.640 regularly before Jesus? 00:28:24.080 --> 00:28:25.340 Are you loving her 00:28:25.340 --> 00:28:26.680 the way you promised 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:27.220 you would? 00:28:29.560 --> 00:28:30.660 Robertson McQuilkin 00:28:30.660 --> 00:28:32.280 served over 20 years 00:28:32.280 --> 00:28:33.259 as president of 00:28:33.259 --> 00:28:34.700 Columbia Bible College 00:28:34.700 --> 00:28:36.720 until in 1990 00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:38.759 his wife Muriel 00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:40.140 who'd been struggling 00:28:40.140 --> 00:28:42.040 deeply with Alzheimer's 00:28:42.040 --> 00:28:44.080 got too bad 00:28:44.080 --> 00:28:45.060 for him to continue. 00:28:45.460 --> 00:28:46.460 Whenever he was not 00:28:46.460 --> 00:28:46.980 with her 00:28:46.980 --> 00:28:47.720 she would become 00:28:47.720 --> 00:28:49.560 fearful and frantic 00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:50.940 no matter what the 00:28:50.940 --> 00:28:52.000 situation or who else 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:52.480 was there. 00:28:52.740 --> 00:28:53.779 She regularly used 00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:54.779 to leave their home 00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:56.200 and walk searching 00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:57.559 for him to his office 00:28:57.559 --> 00:28:59.039 looking all over for him 00:28:59.039 --> 00:28:59.899 until she came home 00:28:59.899 --> 00:29:00.940 with her feet bloodied. 00:29:02.819 --> 00:29:03.460 And so McQuilkin 00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:05.899 decided to step down 00:29:05.899 --> 00:29:06.599 from the job 00:29:06.599 --> 00:29:07.399 that he loved 00:29:07.399 --> 00:29:08.539 that he knew 00:29:08.539 --> 00:29:09.639 God had called him to. 00:29:10.519 --> 00:29:11.440 And he wrote this 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:12.440 to the Bible College 00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:13.279 community about 00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:13.980 that decision. 00:29:15.359 --> 00:29:16.460 He said the decision 00:29:16.460 --> 00:29:17.759 was made in a way 00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:19.279 42 years ago 00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.619 when I promised 00:29:20.619 --> 00:29:22.079 to care for Muriel 00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:23.399 in sickness and in health 00:29:23.399 --> 00:29:24.639 till death do us part. 00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:26.779 So as I told the students 00:29:26.779 --> 00:29:27.420 and faculty 00:29:27.420 --> 00:29:28.639 as a man of my word 00:29:28.639 --> 00:29:29.920 integrity has something 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:30.779 to do with it. 00:29:31.799 --> 00:29:32.599 But so does fairness. 00:29:33.220 --> 00:29:34.180 She has cared for me 00:29:34.180 --> 00:29:35.559 fully and sacrificially 00:29:35.559 --> 00:29:36.379 all these years. 00:29:36.500 --> 00:29:37.460 If I cared for her 00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:38.879 for the next 40 years 00:29:38.879 --> 00:29:40.119 I would not be out 00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:40.759 of her debt. 00:29:43.099 --> 00:29:44.240 But he goes on. 00:29:44.660 --> 00:29:45.879 Duty however 00:29:45.879 --> 00:29:47.200 can be grim 00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:48.120 and stoic. 00:29:48.660 --> 00:29:49.700 But there is more. 00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:52.740 I love Muriel. 00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:54.620 She is a delight to me. 00:29:55.220 --> 00:29:56.519 Her childlike dependence 00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:57.880 and confidence in me. 00:29:58.259 --> 00:29:59.380 Her warm love 00:29:59.380 --> 00:30:00.539 occasional flashes 00:30:00.539 --> 00:30:01.319 of that wit 00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:02.700 I used to relish so. 00:30:03.080 --> 00:30:04.220 Her happy spirit 00:30:04.220 --> 00:30:05.299 and tough resilience 00:30:05.299 --> 00:30:06.100 in the face 00:30:06.100 --> 00:30:07.620 of her continual 00:30:07.620 --> 00:30:08.860 distressing frustration. 00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:10.759 I don't have to care 00:30:10.759 --> 00:30:11.259 for her. 00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:12.620 I get to. 00:30:12.619 --> 00:30:14.839 It is a high honor 00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:15.479 to care 00:30:15.479 --> 00:30:16.939 for so wonderful 00:30:16.939 --> 00:30:17.859 a person. 00:30:19.859 --> 00:30:21.339 He got to care 00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:21.759 for her 00:30:21.759 --> 00:30:23.359 for 13 more years. 00:30:24.379 --> 00:30:25.399 Apparently still 00:30:25.399 --> 00:30:27.259 deeply in her debt. 00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:28.819 But he didn't merely 00:30:28.819 --> 00:30:30.039 fulfill a duty 00:30:30.039 --> 00:30:30.759 toward her did he? 00:30:30.859 --> 00:30:31.899 A vow he'd made. 00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:34.719 He loved her. 00:30:35.619 --> 00:30:36.699 Do you hear in his words 00:30:36.699 --> 00:30:37.479 how he didn't just 00:30:37.479 --> 00:30:38.819 lay his life down 00:30:38.819 --> 00:30:39.579 for his wife? 00:30:39.579 --> 00:30:40.579 It wasn't just 00:30:40.579 --> 00:30:41.339 stepping away 00:30:41.339 --> 00:30:42.439 from a career 00:30:42.439 --> 00:30:43.699 or from something 00:30:43.699 --> 00:30:44.779 he was excited about 00:30:44.779 --> 00:30:46.480 but he also lifted her up 00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:47.619 treasured her 00:30:47.619 --> 00:30:48.859 saw and highlighted 00:30:48.859 --> 00:30:49.500 the beauty 00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:50.839 and even the distressed 00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:52.439 and broken version 00:30:52.439 --> 00:30:53.359 of his wife. 00:30:53.879 --> 00:30:55.399 That's the kind of love 00:30:55.399 --> 00:30:57.139 described here 00:30:57.139 --> 00:30:58.059 in this passage. 00:30:59.399 --> 00:31:00.619 Pastor Tim Keller 00:31:00.619 --> 00:31:01.939 said of love 00:31:01.939 --> 00:31:03.759 to be loved 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:04.759 but not known 00:31:04.759 --> 00:31:06.059 is comforting 00:31:06.059 --> 00:31:07.000 but superficial. 00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:09.180 To be known 00:31:09.180 --> 00:31:10.019 but not loved 00:31:10.019 --> 00:31:11.319 is our greatest fear 00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:13.680 but to be fully known 00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:15.740 and truly loved 00:31:15.740 --> 00:31:17.480 is well 00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:19.539 a lot like being loved 00:31:19.539 --> 00:31:20.680 by God. 00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:22.799 To be fully known 00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:24.799 and truly loved 00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:27.359 a lot like being loved 00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:29.180 by God. 00:31:29.380 --> 00:31:30.900 How God loves us. 00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:32.799 Husbands 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:34.539 love your wives 00:31:34.539 --> 00:31:36.339 as Christ loved 00:31:36.339 --> 00:31:37.000 the church. 00:31:37.879 --> 00:31:39.299 How has Christ 00:31:39.299 --> 00:31:40.240 loved you? 00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:42.480 He knows everything 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:43.059 about you 00:31:43.059 --> 00:31:43.519 doesn't he? 00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:45.519 Even the worst. 00:31:46.359 --> 00:31:47.259 He's seen you 00:31:47.259 --> 00:31:48.539 in your darkest moments 00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:50.079 your greatest failures 00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:51.279 and yet he doesn't 00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:51.899 turn away 00:31:51.899 --> 00:31:53.539 he doesn't berate you 00:31:53.539 --> 00:31:54.779 he doesn't give up 00:31:54.779 --> 00:31:55.159 on you 00:31:55.159 --> 00:31:56.420 he is patient 00:31:56.420 --> 00:31:58.039 and kind. 00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:00.200 He forgives 00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:01.259 and persists 00:32:01.259 --> 00:32:02.279 in loving you. 00:32:02.279 --> 00:32:03.339 He has come 00:32:03.339 --> 00:32:04.619 to lay his life 00:32:04.619 --> 00:32:05.339 down for you 00:32:05.339 --> 00:32:06.220 and now he continues 00:32:06.220 --> 00:32:07.200 to lift you up 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:08.279 to love you back 00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:09.879 to your original beauty 00:32:09.879 --> 00:32:10.899 that you might be 00:32:10.899 --> 00:32:12.160 perfect and glorious 00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:13.680 and he insists 00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:14.579 on living in that 00:32:14.579 --> 00:32:15.799 relationship with you 00:32:15.799 --> 00:32:16.579 forever. 00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:19.879 Fully known 00:32:19.879 --> 00:32:22.660 and truly loved. 00:32:22.819 --> 00:32:23.740 What a great 00:32:23.740 --> 00:32:24.759 love story. 00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:25.639 The greatest 00:32:25.639 --> 00:32:27.079 story ever told 00:32:27.079 --> 00:32:28.119 and it's true 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:28.759 and the world 00:32:28.759 --> 00:32:29.680 desperately needs 00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:30.299 to hear it 00:32:30.299 --> 00:32:31.099 and see it 00:32:31.099 --> 00:32:32.200 from all of us 00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:32.840 to know 00:32:32.840 --> 00:32:34.059 that amazing love 00:32:34.059 --> 00:32:35.460 and husbands 00:32:35.460 --> 00:32:37.740 we in particular 00:32:37.740 --> 00:32:39.480 have the privilege 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:40.059 of telling 00:32:40.059 --> 00:32:41.100 that grand story 00:32:41.100 --> 00:32:42.100 every day 00:32:42.100 --> 00:32:43.340 as we lead 00:32:43.340 --> 00:32:43.880 and love 00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:44.819 our wives. 00:32:45.580 --> 00:32:46.279 Let's pray 00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:47.319 and ask for God's help. 00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:50.559 Oh Father 00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:51.420 we would love 00:32:51.420 --> 00:32:52.559 nothing more 00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:53.500 than to see 00:32:53.500 --> 00:32:54.720 Jesus 00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:55.660 exalted 00:32:55.660 --> 00:32:56.840 in the lives 00:32:56.840 --> 00:32:57.259 of those 00:32:57.259 --> 00:32:57.759 we know 00:32:57.759 --> 00:32:58.259 and love. 00:32:58.740 --> 00:32:59.500 We want people 00:32:59.500 --> 00:33:00.539 to see him 00:33:00.539 --> 00:33:01.600 and his love 00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:02.139 for us 00:33:02.139 --> 00:33:03.659 as glorious 00:33:03.659 --> 00:33:04.480 and as the 00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:05.759 thing that they 00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:07.139 most need 00:33:07.139 --> 00:33:08.759 and we 00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:10.799 so easily 00:33:10.799 --> 00:33:12.279 and so regularly 00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:13.679 fall short. 00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:14.819 We know 00:33:14.819 --> 00:33:16.000 we don't love 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:18.059 as well as he does. 00:33:18.539 --> 00:33:19.579 We need 00:33:19.579 --> 00:33:20.759 your grace. 00:33:22.219 --> 00:33:22.879 Father 00:33:22.879 --> 00:33:24.419 we all 00:33:24.419 --> 00:33:25.399 fall short 00:33:25.399 --> 00:33:26.339 of telling that story 00:33:26.339 --> 00:33:26.859 perfectly. 00:33:26.859 --> 00:33:27.740 we husbands 00:33:27.740 --> 00:33:29.279 in particular 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:31.179 have a task 00:33:31.179 --> 00:33:31.799 of telling 00:33:31.799 --> 00:33:32.579 that story 00:33:32.579 --> 00:33:33.399 in our marriages 00:33:33.399 --> 00:33:37.059 and we're well aware 00:33:37.059 --> 00:33:37.979 of our limitations 00:33:37.979 --> 00:33:38.879 and our failures. 00:33:39.819 --> 00:33:40.359 Thank you 00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:41.299 for loving us. 00:33:41.419 --> 00:33:41.719 Thank you 00:33:41.719 --> 00:33:42.599 for continuing 00:33:42.599 --> 00:33:43.799 to show us 00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:45.019 the kind of love 00:33:45.019 --> 00:33:46.159 we're to pass along. 00:33:46.879 --> 00:33:47.139 Father 00:33:47.139 --> 00:33:48.039 would you fill us 00:33:48.039 --> 00:33:48.439 with that 00:33:48.439 --> 00:33:49.500 to overflowing 00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:51.099 that we might 00:33:51.099 --> 00:33:52.000 make Jesus 00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:53.119 glorious 00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:54.359 to those 00:33:54.359 --> 00:33:55.239 who are watching 00:33:55.239 --> 00:33:55.939 our lives. 00:33:56.459 --> 00:33:56.939 May we 00:33:56.939 --> 00:33:58.279 even in our failures 00:33:58.279 --> 00:33:59.479 point to one 00:33:59.479 --> 00:34:00.239 who continues 00:34:00.239 --> 00:34:01.279 to love us 00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:02.399 and may they 00:34:02.399 --> 00:34:03.599 see his love 00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:04.819 so clearly. 00:34:05.659 --> 00:34:06.699 We ask it 00:34:06.699 --> 00:34:07.459 in Jesus name. 00:34:07.879 --> 00:34:08.119 Amen. 00:34:08.119 --> 00:34:13.659 For more information 00:34:13.659 --> 00:34:14.960 visit us online 00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:16.259 at southwood.org 00:34:16.260 --> 00:34:46.240 Thank you.