WEBVTT 00:00:00.760 --> 00:00:06.080 It was quite a few years ago now, I was presiding at a wedding, and afterwards one of the guests 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:13.859 came up to me and said, what was that amazing thing that was read out in the service? 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:20.460 And I must have confessed, I had to think, what was he referring to? Because I couldn't 00:00:20.460 --> 00:00:25.160 think of any kind of particular piece of poetry that had just come out and heard for the first 00:00:25.160 --> 00:00:31.460 time or anything. And as we talked, it gradually became apparent that he was referring to the 00:00:31.460 --> 00:00:39.399 very Bible passage that we've just had read to us by Margaret. I think I had to think long 00:00:39.399 --> 00:00:44.539 and hard about it because I'd heard it so many times. I remember coming away from that 00:00:44.539 --> 00:00:50.420 conversation thinking, that's the thing. We hear these things so many times, we become 00:00:50.420 --> 00:00:59.500 so familiarised with them that perhaps we tend to not notice the power of these words 00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:01.980 when we hear them for the first time. 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:13.879 Central to the Christian Gospel is this basic theme, this message that human beings in our 00:01:13.879 --> 00:01:21.899 brokenness are met by the holy otherness, the perfectness of God. And when that happens, 00:01:22.140 --> 00:01:28.299 there's a contradiction between our humanity and our brokenness and our fallenness and the 00:01:28.299 --> 00:01:29.979 absolute perfection of God. 00:01:33.219 --> 00:01:38.039 When we hear God's word for the first time, when we hear words like this for the first time, 00:01:38.099 --> 00:01:43.799 we encounter them perhaps in a more powerful way than when we've become so familiar 00:01:43.799 --> 00:01:51.920 with them. Because these words are not intended as just a piece of sort of nice romantic 00:01:51.920 --> 00:02:00.840 poetry. They're words of challenge. And neither are they just targeted towards individuals, 00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:10.300 they're targeted towards the whole church community. Which is why Paul begins with, right at the 00:02:10.300 --> 00:02:18.560 end of chapter 12, by saying, and I will now show you the most excellent way. 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:25.860 Before he launches into these verses, that's what he says, I will now tell you, I will now show you 00:02:25.860 --> 00:02:33.600 the most excellent way. Now that word way is important. It comes up quite a lot in the New Testament. 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:40.379 It comes up a lot in the book of Acts to describe the earliest followers of Jesus, the church. 00:02:41.859 --> 00:02:48.840 For example, we see in Ephesus that the believers were publicly, that the way, the people of the way 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:56.979 were publicly maligned. We see Paul before Felix, who says, yes, I am a follower of the way. And we're 00:02:56.979 --> 00:03:07.239 told that Felix was heard of the way. In the book of Hebrews, the word the way is, Jesus is described 00:03:07.239 --> 00:03:14.579 as the way, the new and living way into the presence of the living God. And of course, in John's gospel, 00:03:14.739 --> 00:03:21.159 Jesus himself said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 00:03:21.159 --> 00:03:31.159 So in his letter into Corinthians, when Paul says to the church, I will now show you the 00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:41.800 most excellent way that carries quite a lot of substance. And so he begins to unpack what 00:03:41.800 --> 00:03:44.000 that actually is. 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:56.259 The evangelist D.L. Moody, over 100 years ago, once said, oh, that we could all move into 00:03:56.259 --> 00:04:06.000 that love chapter and live there. So what does that mean? What does it mean in practical terms? 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:19.300 Well, we're given a challenge, we're given an invitation. As Paul sets out, no fewer than 00:04:19.300 --> 00:04:32.019 16 characteristics of love. 16. This is practical stuff. Now, it was Valentine's Day, wasn't it, 00:04:32.019 --> 00:04:36.639 the other week? And the word love appears in all sorts of different places, generally 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:41.659 on cards with pictures of teddy bears and love hearts and things. I know that's one of 00:04:41.659 --> 00:04:45.539 those days that ought to be banned, in my opinion, but that's another subject. It seems to me that 00:04:45.539 --> 00:04:50.019 it's crazy that people that are single absolutely dread Valentine's Day because they're single. 00:04:50.699 --> 00:04:55.439 People that are married dread Valentine's Day because they're married. Anyway, that's a sermon 00:04:55.439 --> 00:05:04.120 for another occasion. Love, as Paul defines it, means something quite different. It's not about 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:14.540 a feeling. In some ways, it's the opposite. Paul seems to be saying, if you want to know 00:05:14.540 --> 00:05:21.060 what love means, think about how you feel and do the very opposite thing. 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:33.060 Jim Packer, one of the great voices of the 20th century in the evangelical church, one-time 00:05:33.060 --> 00:05:39.500 principal of Trinity College, Professor Jim Packer once said this, 00:05:39.500 --> 00:05:52.079 It draws its meaning directly from the revelation of Jesus Christ. 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:59.420 Get this, it is a matter of the will rather than a matter of feeling. 00:05:59.420 --> 00:06:08.580 Now that's important. Because we can be fed this notion that to love is all about something 00:06:08.580 --> 00:06:18.280 that you feel. Often it does. But it's something far more profound than an emotional state. 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:21.460 Far more profound than that. 00:06:21.459 --> 00:06:30.419 We see this kind of played out quite a bit in the writings of Paul where he talks about 00:06:30.419 --> 00:06:39.219 love in action as being the sort of, the way we take off the old and we put on the new. 00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:44.099 That's a pair of phrases we find in the writings of Paul quite a bit. He talks about taking off 00:06:44.099 --> 00:06:50.240 the old self and putting on the new. He talks about putting on the armour of God. 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:54.480 He talks about putting on the clothing of righteousness. 00:06:57.240 --> 00:07:05.120 This sense of putting things on that may actually cut against the way we feel emotionally at a 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:11.759 particular point in time. If we want to know what it is to love, then we need to know what 00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:18.680 it is to put things on a bit. To do the very contrary to the way that our emotional responses 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:20.639 might be leading us at a point in time. 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:31.560 There was a story about a man who was cheated on by his wife. 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:41.079 And eventually he decided that he was going to bring his marriage to an end. 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:51.000 He went to speak to somebody he knew, happened to be a minister and a counsellor, and said, 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:59.959 I want to bring this to a close. But I don't want to just bring it to a close. I want to bring my 00:07:59.959 --> 00:08:05.600 marriage to a close in a way that's really going to hurt her as much as she has hurt me. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:08.360 And I don't know what to do. 00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:18.020 The minister took one thumping great big risk. And he gave him the following advice. 00:08:20.120 --> 00:08:31.500 He said, if you really, really want to get back at her, my advice to you is to go home and be nice. 00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:37.279 In fact, don't be just nice. Be as loving as you possibly can be. 00:08:39.100 --> 00:08:44.840 I want you to rewind in your thinking to when you first met her and fell in love with her. And I want 00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:51.360 you to try and act that out. Every time you sense something instinctive in you wanting to lash back, 00:08:51.860 --> 00:08:59.799 don't. Do the opposite. Be as lovely and kind and gracious as you possibly can. Every time there's 00:08:59.799 --> 00:09:06.039 an argument, even if you might be in the right, let it go and do the opposite. Love her. Serve her. 00:09:06.659 --> 00:09:14.779 Lay down everything for her. Every time you really, really want to just lash out. Just do something 00:09:14.779 --> 00:09:21.599 that is very, very foreign to what your emotions are telling you at that point in time. Put on 00:09:21.599 --> 00:09:28.319 something that is quite alien to yourself and just be really, really unconditionally nice to her. 00:09:29.799 --> 00:09:38.519 And then, then, after a few months of that, after treating her like she's a million dollars, 00:09:38.659 --> 00:09:41.659 then break the news. 00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:51.659 Well, this guy was quite a state of disbelief as to what he'd been told, but as he walked away, 00:09:51.659 --> 00:09:59.419 he rather liked the idea of what he was being advised to do. So he went home. The minister 00:09:59.419 --> 00:10:09.360 didn't hear anything from him for several months. Eventually, he phoned him up about six months 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:19.779 later. He said, how are things going? The man said, you're never going to believe this. 00:10:22.139 --> 00:10:28.539 He said, I've fallen in love again. He said, I'm not going to pretend that it was easy. He said, 00:10:28.539 --> 00:10:36.759 I came away from that conversation with you that day, thinking, this is a brilliant plan. I can't wait 00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:43.860 to try this out. And at first, it was really hard. In fact, it was the toughest thing I've ever done. 00:10:45.240 --> 00:10:49.379 Daring to go against everything that my inner instincts were telling me to do. 00:10:49.379 --> 00:11:00.460 And yet, that's what I decided to do. I put it on. I felt anger, but I took it off, and I put on love. 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:06.840 I felt resentment, and I took that off, and I put on love and forgiveness. 00:11:08.700 --> 00:11:12.480 I felt bitterness and cynicism, and I took it off, and I put on grace. 00:11:13.980 --> 00:11:16.519 Really, just to act it out, because I wanted to get her back. 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:21.460 But very slowly and very gradually, things changed. 00:11:22.699 --> 00:11:25.220 And I can't put my finger on exactly when it was. 00:11:26.939 --> 00:11:28.460 But she started to be different. 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:31.919 I started to be different. 00:11:34.319 --> 00:11:36.139 We started to be different. 00:11:39.819 --> 00:11:41.439 And now we've fallen in love again. 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:46.680 Let's not be naive. 00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:52.400 Let's not pretend that any of that is easy, because it's not. 00:11:54.900 --> 00:12:00.180 But what we're talking about here is not just in marriage, although it's a good model. 00:12:01.560 --> 00:12:03.540 But we're talking about all relationships. 00:12:03.539 --> 00:12:10.620 And Paul seems to be saying to us that if you want to know what love is, what agape love is, 00:12:11.419 --> 00:12:15.319 it's about taking off the old. 00:12:17.199 --> 00:12:18.139 Pulling on the new. 00:12:20.500 --> 00:12:22.559 Taking what you're feeling and doing the opposite. 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:28.599 C.S. Lewis wrote this. 00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:38.320 Do not waste your time bothering whether you love your neighbour. 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:41.800 Just act as if you did. 00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:47.420 As soon as we do this, we find out one of the great secrets. 00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:53.200 When you are behaving as if you loved someone, 00:12:55.060 --> 00:12:57.420 you will presently come to love them. 00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:01.940 If you injure someone you dislike, 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:05.879 you will find yourself disliking them more. 00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:09.680 If you do them a good turn, 00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:15.620 you will find yourself disliking them less. 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:19.639 Let's pray. 00:13:19.639 --> 00:13:19.659 Let's pray. 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:33.639 Lord, as we listen to these words from 1 Corinthians 13, 00:13:35.779 --> 00:13:41.279 words which talk about love and what that means and what that is and what that looks like, 00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:42.279 we bring to you. 00:13:42.279 --> 00:13:45.220 Lord, as we bring to you, 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:47.299 we bring to you the reality of life. 00:13:49.459 --> 00:13:52.919 We bring to you all of our relationships. 00:13:58.059 --> 00:13:59.439 Home, in work, 00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:02.299 in our neighbourhoods. 00:14:02.299 --> 00:14:07.359 Lord, you know each and every one of them. 00:14:10.419 --> 00:14:17.259 Forgive us, Father, for the way that we often follow our feelings. 00:14:17.259 --> 00:14:24.399 Forgive us for the way in which we respond in anything but love. 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:32.779 Give us the confidence and the courage to put on the new and to take off the old. 00:14:32.779 --> 00:14:41.279 Lord, give us the confidence and the courage and the strength to dare to do the opposite of how we feel at times. 00:14:43.199 --> 00:14:46.360 And to dare to live out that most excellent way. 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:51.919 We pray this prayer into all of our relationships. 00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:54.980 Now and in the time to come. 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:57.899 In Jesus' name. 00:14:59.899 --> 00:15:00.299 Amen.