WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.160 Three preliminary comments. I want us to look at verses 31 to 37. First of all, just an 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:13.560 ! apology. It is going to be a little bit longer this morning. I've tried to cut it down. It's 00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:20.080 ! it's just too important a subject to not do the hard work that we need to do this morning. 00:00:21.539 --> 00:00:25.859 And number two, you'll see that we're going to take two sections together. We're going 00:00:25.859 --> 00:00:29.800 to take a section on divorce and we're going to take a section on oath. And we're going to 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:34.799 deal with them together. And the reason we're going to do that is because every divorce 00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:42.960 is the result of one person failing to uphold their vows. In every divorce, one or two people 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:50.240 have failed to keep the promises that they've made before God. And the third comment, which 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:55.760 is probably the most important, is this. This is not going to be an all-encompassing, cover-all 00:00:55.759 --> 00:01:02.539 basis sermon on divorce. And whenever there's a sermon like this, it will hit us in different 00:01:02.539 --> 00:01:10.840 ways. Some of you are divorced. Some of you have family getting divorced. Some for biblical 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:20.759 reasons, some for not. And we all have friends and families and all sorts of questions. And 00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:24.400 I am not going to say everything that needs to be said. I'm working on a sermon series 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:28.520 on relationships where I hope that I will. But that isn't going to be this morning. 00:01:29.740 --> 00:01:35.260 But I want to give you seven points on marriage. And I plagiarise these from Doug Wilson, who 00:01:35.260 --> 00:01:40.540 plagiarised them from John Piper, who plagiarised them from John Stott, who plagiarised them from 00:01:40.540 --> 00:01:43.439 James Philip. And at that point the trail goes cold. All right? 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:48.939 So let me give you seven points on marriage. Number one, marriage is a sacred union between 00:01:48.939 --> 00:01:54.400 one man and one woman. God's intention for that marriage of one man and one woman is to 00:01:54.400 --> 00:02:02.379 last a lifetime. Number two, divorce is not always sinful. Divorce is not always sinful. 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:12.079 Number three, divorce is permitted, but not required on the grounds of sexual immorality. It's permitted, 00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:22.820 but not required on the grounds of sexual immorality. Divorce is permitted, but not required on the 00:02:22.820 --> 00:02:31.080 grounds of desertion. Number five, I should say divorce is permitted, but not required on the 00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:36.939 grounds of desertion. And I think that that desertion does not necessarily mean somebody just 00:02:36.939 --> 00:02:44.199 leaving. I think that the puritans allowed for physical abuse as a form of desertion. I 00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:50.259 think that that is a wider category than sometimes we would, we let it, let it be taught. Number 00:02:50.259 --> 00:02:58.259 five, when there is an unbiblical divorce, remarriage is not permitted. When there is an unbiblical 00:02:58.259 --> 00:03:03.860 divorce, remarriage is not permitted. Number six, when there is a biblical divorce, remarriage 00:03:03.860 --> 00:03:10.800 is permitted. And number seven, and those who have been divorced and are now remarried 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:17.880 should stay as they are. And if it has been, if they've been wrongly divorced, well they 00:03:17.880 --> 00:03:21.700 should repent and they should definitely be forgiven and they should seek to make amends 00:03:21.700 --> 00:03:27.480 where they can. You can ask me for those seven after. The thrust of what Jesus is saying in 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:34.419 this passage is that he does not want his disciples to get divorced. God hates divorce in the same 00:03:34.419 --> 00:03:41.019 way that you and I hate divorce. Jesus confronted his years and he confronts them with two failures. 00:03:42.179 --> 00:03:45.919 That's what we'll see this morning. We'll see first of all, a failure to consider the seriousness 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:51.979 of divorce. And number two, a failure to consider the ramifications and the implications of divorce. 00:03:51.979 --> 00:03:57.359 And then at the end I want to tie that together by why we put it together with oaths. 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:04.280 So look at verse 31. Verse 31 is a loose quotation of Deuteronomy 24 verse 1. 00:04:08.219 --> 00:04:12.419 It is also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 00:04:14.060 --> 00:04:19.560 And the problem wasn't with what Moses had said in Deuteronomy 24 verse 1. The problem was 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:24.579 how they'd come to apply it. So you're going to come with me to a few different parts of 00:04:24.579 --> 00:04:27.899 the Bible this morning. If you're unfamiliar with the Bible, the person next to you will 00:04:27.899 --> 00:04:32.980 help you. It's Deuteronomy 24. Would you come there? And the Old Testament actually says 00:04:32.980 --> 00:04:38.319 very little about divorce. There's this passage. There's a little bit in Malachi and in Ezra, 00:04:38.379 --> 00:04:45.879 but it's not in many places. And in Deuteronomy 24, let me read it to you. It says, 00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:52.980 when a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favour in his eyes, because 00:04:52.980 --> 00:04:58.300 he's found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, and he puts it 00:04:58.300 --> 00:05:02.000 in her hand, then he sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house. And 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:05.879 if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her 00:05:05.879 --> 00:05:09.620 a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if 00:05:09.620 --> 00:05:13.779 the latter man dies, which could be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, 00:05:13.779 --> 00:05:19.239 may not take her again to be his wife after she's been defiled. For that is an abomination 00:05:19.239 --> 00:05:24.419 before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving 00:05:24.419 --> 00:05:30.839 you for inheritance. Now the first thing you notice about that is it's confusing. If a 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:36.119 man has a wife and divorces her, and she marries another, and then he divorces her, the original 00:05:36.119 --> 00:05:41.079 man can't now go and get her back and remarry her, because it would be defiling the marriage 00:05:41.079 --> 00:05:47.879 bed. What's Moses doing here? He's trying to stop a casual attitude on the part of the 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:52.459 man that can just say, I'll set you apart, I'll divorce you, and after a time it doesn't 00:05:52.459 --> 00:05:57.639 work out with my next wife, but I'll come back to you. Actually, it's trying to protect 00:05:57.639 --> 00:06:05.699 the wife and her interest. Notice in that part that I wrote, it doesn't say that he must 00:06:05.699 --> 00:06:12.740 gather divorce. It doesn't even talk specifically about the grounds of divorce. It doesn't say 00:06:12.740 --> 00:06:18.719 this is accepted, that is not accepted. What it gives you is a complicated instance of case 00:06:18.719 --> 00:06:24.399 law on divorce. And the Jews looked at 24 verse 1 and they had lengthy debates about what it 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:30.560 meant. What did it mean? So the phrase that was greatly debated is there in verse 1. 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:39.240 It says this, when a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favour in his eyes 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:45.319 because he has found some indecency in her. That's the phrase. He writes her a certificate, 00:06:45.459 --> 00:06:51.660 puts it in her hand and sends her away. And the word something indecent is a bit ambiguous. 00:06:51.660 --> 00:07:02.640 It seems to suggest sexual sin and nakedness, but it's not completely clear. In fact, one 00:07:02.640 --> 00:07:06.160 of the other instances, the few other instances of this phrase, what was a good thing is that 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:09.879 when you find a phrase in the Bible, try and find another phrase that's difficult to understand. 00:07:09.960 --> 00:07:13.879 You try and find another instance of it. So there is another instance in chapter 23 verse 00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:21.480 12. The boys in church might want to look at this verse. Chapter 23 verse 12. You shall 00:07:21.480 --> 00:07:26.319 have a place outside the camp and you shall go out to it. And you shall have a trowel with 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:32.180 your tools. And when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn back and 00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:37.339 cover up your excrement. Did you know that was in the Bible? You might want to explain that 00:07:37.339 --> 00:07:44.779 to the little boy sitting next to you. Because, verse 14, the Lord your God walks in the midst 00:07:44.779 --> 00:07:48.639 of your camp to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you. Therefore, your camp 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:54.000 must be holy so that you may not see anything. And here is the phrase indecent among you and 00:07:54.000 --> 00:08:01.500 turn away from it. Same phrase, anything indecent. Because the camp was holy, you needed to go 00:08:01.500 --> 00:08:08.339 outside and do your business outside the camp. Otherwise, the Lord would see this indecent 00:08:08.339 --> 00:08:16.300 thing. It's that phrase that the rabbis argued about. What does it mean? That a man issued 00:08:16.300 --> 00:08:22.459 a certificate of divorce for something indecent. And because of the way that it's not clear, 00:08:22.939 --> 00:08:27.839 in the way that this was interpreted, there were two schools, rabbinical teaching schools that 00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:33.319 emerged. One was the more conservative, Shammai, after the famous Rabbi Shammai. And the other 00:08:33.319 --> 00:08:39.639 was a more liberal school, Helal. Here's what it says in the Mishnah. The Mishnah was a Jewish 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:47.819 document from the second century. And it details controversies that were happening or happened 00:08:47.819 --> 00:08:53.279 during the time of Christ. This is one of them. The Mishnah records that the school of Shammai 00:08:53.279 --> 00:09:01.519 says a man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her. For it is written 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:07.959 because he's found in her indecency in anything. So the school of Shammai, they said, 24 verse 00:09:07.959 --> 00:09:13.819 1, that's something indecent. That is unchastity or that is adultery. It is a breaking of the 00:09:13.819 --> 00:09:19.779 covenant. Adultery was one school. Here's the other one, the school of Helal. Said you may 00:09:19.779 --> 00:09:26.139 divorce her even if she spoils a dish for him. For it is written, he hath found in her 00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:33.559 indecency in anything. So both schools went back to Deuteronomy 24 verse 1. And the conservatives 00:09:33.559 --> 00:09:41.459 were saying that indecency means adultery. It means sexual sin. The liberal school was saying 00:09:41.459 --> 00:09:48.159 it means indecent. And what that means, if there's anything you see in her, if she burns the 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:53.839 toast, as an example, if she spoils a dish, that was considered a legitimate grounds for 00:09:53.839 --> 00:10:02.019 divorce. And that is the air that they're breathing in the first century. Jesus lands, doesn't he, 00:10:02.059 --> 00:10:06.719 conservatively in the conservative school, the Shammai school, and rightfully so. Deuteronomy 00:10:06.719 --> 00:10:14.579 24 verse 1, that word means nakedness. You can get that from the chapter before. But it 00:10:14.580 --> 00:10:19.700 is suggesting a kind of sexual sin. And it's also a good lesson for you and I, isn't it? 00:10:19.720 --> 00:10:23.680 Because sometimes I'm told there are so many churches, so many different interpretations, 00:10:23.860 --> 00:10:30.860 so many beliefs. How can I know? I can't say what is right. Even in the first century they 00:10:30.860 --> 00:10:34.759 had loads of different interpretations. And Jesus says, well that went about burning the 00:10:34.759 --> 00:10:40.840 toast. And that's not a right interpretation. There's something indecent in chapter 24 verse 00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:48.440 one. And this one means sexual sin. Except on the grounds of sexual immorality. That's 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:53.220 the Greek word. It's the word pornea. We get pornography from it. And it refers broadly 00:10:53.220 --> 00:11:03.200 to sexual sin. Why would that be a grounds for divorce? Because sex is the consummation of 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:09.040 a marriage relationship. Not a man and a woman come together. It is meant to be an emotional 00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:16.220 oneness, a spiritual oneness. And it culminates in a physical oneness. And that physical oneness 00:11:16.220 --> 00:11:25.400 is not meant to be there without all the other onenesses being promised. So the act of sex is 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:34.480 the covenant bringing together. It is the signing on the dotted line. It is the oath making part of the 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:41.360 covenant. It is the part of marriage where we say we are truly bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. 00:11:42.459 --> 00:11:51.840 The two are now one. And so that means when you have sex with someone who is not your spouse, you break 00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:58.120 the covenant bond. You've formed that covenant. You've signed on the dotted line with your spouse. 00:11:58.780 --> 00:12:02.720 And to go and do that with someone else is to serve the covenant you've made. 00:12:04.420 --> 00:12:06.600 It does not mean that divorce is required. 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:14.500 And that's why Jesus says, to join me 23 verse 1, is suggesting this is a legitimate grounds for divorce. 00:12:14.500 --> 00:12:18.500 Now come back with me to Matthew's gospel. 00:12:19.500 --> 00:12:22.039 And come with me to Matthew chapter 19. 00:12:28.100 --> 00:12:29.399 Matthew chapter 19. 00:12:32.700 --> 00:12:35.700 And in Matthew chapter 19, the Pharisees come to Jesus. 00:12:35.700 --> 00:12:45.020 And in Matthew chapter 19, verse 3, it says they come to him to test him. 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:51.560 And they test him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? 00:12:53.800 --> 00:12:57.940 They're asking Jesus, would you weigh in on this whole Shammai, Halal thing? 00:12:59.160 --> 00:13:04.120 Some of the rabbis are teaching us that divorce is possible for anything. 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:05.039 It's permissible. 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:07.799 The man deems inappropriate. 00:13:10.299 --> 00:13:15.100 And what's fascinating to me is the way that they come is actually the way that you and I come. 00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:22.200 Because on every question when people come to see me about divorce is they want to know what are legitimate grounds. 00:13:24.299 --> 00:13:27.419 People come to me and say, is this okay or is that okay? 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:30.240 Would this work? 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.000 Is this sufficient grounds? 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:36.179 And there is a time that we need to get into that. 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:37.399 And we will get into that in the future. 00:13:38.220 --> 00:13:39.860 They want to talk about divorce. 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:41.379 But do you see what Jesus wants to talk about? 00:13:43.419 --> 00:13:45.320 Jesus wants to talk about the sanctity of marriage. 00:13:46.500 --> 00:13:47.340 What is marriage? 00:13:49.620 --> 00:13:53.820 Sometimes people talk as if we have got the foggiest clue what Jesus thought about marriage. 00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:54.620 Have you had those discussions? 00:13:54.779 --> 00:13:56.480 Jesus never said anything about sex anyway. 00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:58.180 He never said anything about homosexuality. 00:13:58.259 --> 00:13:59.680 Never really said anything about marriage. 00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:08.899 And so when there's a debate, people often say, well, Jesus, and this is totally irrelevant because he doesn't speak about it. 00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:10.759 He had no opinion on these things. 00:14:11.079 --> 00:14:12.019 But that's not the case. 00:14:12.019 --> 00:14:17.639 Jesus radically reaffirms everything that God's people would have believed since Genesis 1. 00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:20.059 He says, you want to talk about divorce? 00:14:20.139 --> 00:14:21.199 Let me tell you what marriage is. 00:14:21.559 --> 00:14:25.960 Marriage is a man leaving his father and mother and joining together with a woman. 00:14:25.960 --> 00:14:31.740 It's a man and a wife coming together in one flesh so that the two now become one. 00:14:33.300 --> 00:14:35.900 And what God has joined together, let no one separate. 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:43.019 And Jesus said, yes, Moses gave a certificate of divorce for hardness of heart. 00:14:43.280 --> 00:14:45.540 It's an allowance in certain circumstances. 00:14:45.980 --> 00:14:47.379 But that is not God's design. 00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:50.720 It is not God's intention. 00:14:50.900 --> 00:14:53.300 It is not God's ideal of what marriage is. 00:14:53.299 --> 00:14:57.699 And so weddings. 00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:00.959 Weddings are to be fun. 00:15:02.539 --> 00:15:03.879 They are celebrations. 00:15:05.379 --> 00:15:07.000 But they ought to be serious. 00:15:08.259 --> 00:15:09.219 They ought to be serious. 00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:13.899 There should be a joyful seriousness at a wedding. 00:15:15.099 --> 00:15:17.359 There should be a gravity at a wedding. 00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:25.560 So the old language for conducting a wedding is, this is a service of solemnization. 00:15:27.220 --> 00:15:28.000 That's what it is. 00:15:28.100 --> 00:15:28.820 It is solemn. 00:15:28.940 --> 00:15:29.860 It is grave. 00:15:30.539 --> 00:15:32.600 A wedding is a weighty occasion. 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:33.600 Did you hear that, Ollie? 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:37.480 But you've seen it happen, haven't you? 00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:40.680 The same of vows as the exchanging of the rings. 00:15:41.580 --> 00:15:43.540 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:44.680 What God has joined together. 00:15:44.820 --> 00:15:46.139 Let no one separate. 00:15:46.800 --> 00:15:47.399 No one. 00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:50.580 You may now kiss the bride. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:53.720 Why? 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:57.139 Why do we have the kissing of the bride? 00:15:59.220 --> 00:16:00.480 It's a fun thing for the group. 00:16:00.920 --> 00:16:02.379 Hopefully it's a fun thing for the bride as well. 00:16:03.820 --> 00:16:09.019 But it is a symbolic representation of the covenant-making act. 00:16:10.500 --> 00:16:12.360 We are not meant to see. 00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:13.560 We are not. 00:16:13.860 --> 00:16:18.560 We do not want to see the actual covenant-making act of marriage. 00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:19.940 So there's a kiss. 00:16:19.940 --> 00:16:25.760 There's a kiss to let us all know what is going to happen later. 00:16:27.140 --> 00:16:36.440 There's a kiss right now because that one act of marital sacredness, that marital act of oneness is so sacred. 00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:39.600 And this marriage is so sacred. 00:16:39.700 --> 00:16:40.700 It's a serious business. 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.480 Divorce, Jesus says. 00:16:43.540 --> 00:16:45.220 You are treating it like light things. 00:16:45.220 --> 00:16:50.680 What Moses gave to allow for the brokenness and the hardness of your heart. 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:52.740 You're making into a trivial thing. 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:57.060 I read this article this week. 00:16:57.379 --> 00:16:57.740 Online. 00:16:58.360 --> 00:17:00.940 Called Eight Good Reasons to Leave. 00:17:01.420 --> 00:17:03.160 Eight Good Reasons to Leave. 00:17:05.180 --> 00:17:06.220 Let me read it to you. 00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:19.019 There is no decision more difficult to make than deciding whether or not the person you've been with, the person you knew you once loved, is still the right person for you. 00:17:20.299 --> 00:17:22.759 There are many bad reasons to leave someone. 00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.600 But there are only a few good reasons to move on. 00:17:26.740 --> 00:17:27.600 Here are eight of them. 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:30.059 Number one. 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:32.140 You're unhappy. 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:35.100 And it's clearly because of the relationship. 00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:40.160 Well, if that's a legitimate reason, none of us are married. 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:42.220 Everyone has that. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:43.620 Not happy. 00:17:44.600 --> 00:17:44.980 Why? 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:46.120 You. 00:17:47.500 --> 00:17:48.519 Let me put it simply. 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:49.420 You sure? 00:17:50.019 --> 00:17:50.799 Yep, you. 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:52.120 Very sure? 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:53.940 Yet you are making me unhappy. 00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:55.400 Number two. 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:57.360 The good times are outweighed by the bad. 00:17:58.360 --> 00:17:59.680 That's just Mondays, isn't it? 00:18:00.700 --> 00:18:01.360 Number three. 00:18:01.360 --> 00:18:05.019 You see yourself spending your life with your partner. 00:18:05.019 --> 00:18:07.799 You don't see yourself spending your life with your partner. 00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:09.339 By the way, partners. 00:18:09.980 --> 00:18:11.859 That is someone you go into business with. 00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:14.879 That is someone you hold hands with on a school trip. 00:18:15.299 --> 00:18:16.799 You have a husband or a wife. 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:18.700 Number four. 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:20.160 You've lost your trust in your partner. 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:21.139 Number five. 00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:24.359 Your partner doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. 00:18:24.359 --> 00:18:28.479 Aren't you very grateful, those of us who are married, that your partner does not treat you, 00:18:28.579 --> 00:18:31.639 your husband or wife does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated? 00:18:33.259 --> 00:18:33.899 Number six. 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.819 Your partner cheated on you. 00:18:35.919 --> 00:18:37.919 Well, that's the only one that Jesus says is okay. 00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:41.039 You fell in love with someone else. 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:42.599 It happens. 00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:43.939 You've been with a person for a while. 00:18:44.299 --> 00:18:46.500 And then someone else comes into your life and takes your breath away. 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.159 We can't always help whom we fall in love with. 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:51.800 And when it happens, we should follow our hearts. 00:18:53.980 --> 00:18:58.160 The heart is desperately wicked and deceitful above all things. 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:00.300 That was not in the article. 00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:03.759 And then the last one is a great one. 00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:09.519 You're not capable of loving your partner the way your partner deserves to be loved. 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:14.620 You're not capable of loving your partner the way your partner deserves to be loved. 00:19:14.619 --> 00:19:19.819 If you can't be the love of your partner's life, the person your partner has always dreamed of, 00:19:19.879 --> 00:19:22.059 and the person your partner deserves to be loved by, 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:24.939 then make the difficult choice and let your partner go. 00:19:25.479 --> 00:19:26.099 It will be hard. 00:19:26.179 --> 00:19:26.699 It will be painful. 00:19:27.179 --> 00:19:29.859 It will stick with you for most of, if not all of your life. 00:19:29.939 --> 00:19:30.919 But it's the right thing to do. 00:19:31.419 --> 00:19:36.939 There is no greater act of love than to love without any benefit to yourself. 00:19:37.139 --> 00:19:39.199 They call it unconditional love. 00:19:40.259 --> 00:19:42.179 That is mind-boggling, isn't it? 00:19:42.180 --> 00:19:48.180 When leaving your spouse becomes an act of unconditional love. 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.340 How heroic. 00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:53.700 How sacrificial that you would walk away from a marriage relationship. 00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:58.580 You see, our world does not understand, does it, 00:19:58.660 --> 00:20:04.200 the seriousness and the solemnity and the sheer weight of holy matrimony. 00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:07.299 Here's the second thing. 00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:09.920 They fail to consider the ramifications of divorce. 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:14.200 They fail to consider the implications of what divorce does. 00:20:15.600 --> 00:20:17.279 So Matthew 5, let's get back there. 00:20:17.380 --> 00:20:20.700 It's quite difficult to grasp Jesus' logic at first. 00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:22.820 Let me read to you verse 32. 00:20:23.380 --> 00:20:24.160 But I say to you, 00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:29.200 that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, 00:20:29.340 --> 00:20:30.240 makes them commit adultery. 00:20:30.980 --> 00:20:33.240 And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:34.779 Why? 00:20:34.779 --> 00:20:38.359 Because if you are illegitimately divorced, 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:42.039 then the remarriage is illegitimate. 00:20:43.379 --> 00:20:46.759 And if you are remarried illegitimately, 00:20:46.920 --> 00:20:49.240 then you are presumably having marital intimacy 00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:52.099 with someone who ought not to be your spouse. 00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:55.200 But rather you ought to still be married to that person. 00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:57.940 To this person who knew you divorced. 00:20:59.480 --> 00:21:00.539 So Jesus says, 00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:01.900 consider, think for a moment, 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:02.799 think about the implications. 00:21:03.420 --> 00:21:04.100 You can't just think, 00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:04.740 I've got out of it. 00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:05.299 I've got out of it. 00:21:05.340 --> 00:21:05.759 I'm free. 00:21:07.360 --> 00:21:09.380 Jesus presumes you got remarried. 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:11.480 That's what nearly always happened in Jewish culture. 00:21:12.259 --> 00:21:12.940 Remember, too, 00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:13.819 that in the Old Testament, 00:21:14.080 --> 00:21:16.519 the punishment for adultery is that you were killed. 00:21:16.740 --> 00:21:19.200 There's not a great deal of evidence that that happened lots. 00:21:20.100 --> 00:21:21.580 But it was what the law required. 00:21:21.940 --> 00:21:23.259 So your spouse would be dead, 00:21:23.319 --> 00:21:24.799 and you would get remarried. 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:28.160 So there's an assumption that you divorce and get remarried. 00:21:29.840 --> 00:21:32.440 There's an assumption that if you shouldn't have been divorced, 00:21:34.180 --> 00:21:39.580 and then you get remarried, 00:21:39.779 --> 00:21:41.180 you are now married to someone, 00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:42.819 you are now having sex with someone, 00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:44.000 that you shouldn't be married to. 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:47.140 Because this covenant, 00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:51.799 this covenant shouldn't have been Sabbath. 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:55.359 And the ramifications are so serious, 00:21:55.460 --> 00:21:56.299 that you've got to think, 00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:58.539 not only of the sin that you are committing, 00:21:58.660 --> 00:22:00.640 but the sin that you're leading someone into. 00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:05.220 You are bringing someone else into that marriage relationship. 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.119 That should not be so. 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:10.319 And Jesus wants you to see the ramifications of divorce. 00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.259 Because the bonds of marriage, 00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:15.759 and that intimacy, 00:22:15.939 --> 00:22:17.079 are so sacred. 00:22:19.919 --> 00:22:21.079 People sometimes say, 00:22:21.159 --> 00:22:21.439 don't they, 00:22:21.659 --> 00:22:22.679 young people often say, 00:22:22.779 --> 00:22:24.519 that Christians are prudes about sex. 00:22:25.700 --> 00:22:26.619 Kind of anti-sex. 00:22:26.740 --> 00:22:27.119 But listen, 00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:30.480 there's a lot of kids here out there today, 00:22:30.619 --> 00:22:32.200 so we're doing okay on some level. 00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:35.799 But we Christians are the ones 00:22:35.799 --> 00:22:38.859 who actually understand how sacred sex is. 00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:42.759 That is why there are boundaries around it. 00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:45.259 Because it is so sacred. 00:22:45.879 --> 00:22:46.939 You go to a building, 00:22:47.099 --> 00:22:48.259 an historical building in London, 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.799 and you will not be able to run around in it, 00:22:50.819 --> 00:22:51.659 or kick a ball in it. 00:22:51.700 --> 00:22:53.779 You will not be able to touch certain parts. 00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:56.759 You're not able to build anything on it, 00:22:56.919 --> 00:22:57.939 because it's set apart. 00:22:58.019 --> 00:22:58.700 It is sacred. 00:22:59.299 --> 00:23:00.059 There are boundaries. 00:23:00.939 --> 00:23:03.159 There are rules about what you can do and can't do. 00:23:04.419 --> 00:23:05.519 We do that for buildings. 00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:06.599 We do that for art. 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:08.619 We do that in a museum. 00:23:08.619 --> 00:23:11.159 We do it for all sorts of things. 00:23:11.639 --> 00:23:13.479 Something is precious and sacred, 00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:14.659 so we protect it, 00:23:14.899 --> 00:23:16.799 and we put boundaries around it. 00:23:18.899 --> 00:23:20.359 So who are the ones 00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:23.059 who have absolutely no idea 00:23:23.059 --> 00:23:24.259 what sex is really about? 00:23:24.399 --> 00:23:25.219 Is it the people that say, 00:23:25.259 --> 00:23:26.379 if it feels good, just do it? 00:23:28.459 --> 00:23:30.579 No, it's the ones that see it as precious 00:23:30.579 --> 00:23:31.479 and sacred, 00:23:31.959 --> 00:23:32.719 and as a gift, 00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:34.519 and we know that there must be boundaries. 00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:36.900 With a certain person, 00:23:38.059 --> 00:23:39.099 at a certain time, 00:23:39.139 --> 00:23:39.920 in a certain place, 00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:42.180 given a certain context, 00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:44.019 with a certain commitment, 00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:47.799 our culture just does not understand. 00:23:50.099 --> 00:23:52.420 In fact, our culture is schizophrenic, isn't it? 00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:54.100 On the one hand, 00:23:54.140 --> 00:23:55.920 it says you can sleep with whoever you want. 00:23:57.860 --> 00:23:58.660 On the other hand, 00:23:58.700 --> 00:24:00.800 it says there is the one out there. 00:24:01.700 --> 00:24:03.720 And the one out there will complete you, 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:05.960 will meet all your needs. 00:24:06.700 --> 00:24:07.500 But we know, don't we, 00:24:07.620 --> 00:24:09.360 that if you hope in anyone, 00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:11.820 any created being, 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:13.880 if you think that that created being 00:24:13.880 --> 00:24:15.400 will meet your deepest needs, 00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.620 you will find, 00:24:19.860 --> 00:24:20.980 that in the end, 00:24:21.280 --> 00:24:22.960 you will find yourself worshipping on an idol, 00:24:23.080 --> 00:24:24.480 because it is only the creator 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:25.820 that can meet your deepest needs. 00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:30.440 See how bizarre it is 00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:31.800 that our world thinks of marriage? 00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.140 We don't know what it is anymore. 00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:37.880 Let me read you from the Book of Common Prayer. 00:24:39.660 --> 00:24:41.420 What has happened in the last 50 years? 00:24:42.120 --> 00:24:43.040 The sexual revolution, 00:24:43.259 --> 00:24:44.160 the no-fault divorce, 00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:46.440 the redefining of marriage. 00:24:46.560 --> 00:24:47.480 You might be saying, 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:50.060 well, actually it's no big deal to my marriage. 00:24:50.140 --> 00:24:50.880 It is a big deal. 00:24:52.340 --> 00:24:53.880 How does it affect marriages? 00:24:55.820 --> 00:24:57.560 Let me read you from the Book of Common Prayer. 00:24:58.640 --> 00:24:59.240 Dearly beloved, 00:24:59.460 --> 00:25:01.580 we are gathered together here in the sight of God 00:25:01.580 --> 00:25:03.460 and in the face of this congregation 00:25:03.460 --> 00:25:06.640 to join together this man and this woman 00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:07.700 in holy matrimony, 00:25:08.120 --> 00:25:11.080 which is an honourable estate instituted of God. 00:25:11.180 --> 00:25:11.840 Do you notice that? 00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:13.380 It is God who institutes marriage. 00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:15.940 Governments might recognise it, 00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:17.820 but we don't give to governments 00:25:17.820 --> 00:25:19.540 the right to institute marriage. 00:25:19.620 --> 00:25:20.740 They've got no right in that. 00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:22.360 God is the one who institutes marriage. 00:25:24.040 --> 00:25:25.560 In the time of man's innocency, 00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:28.160 signifying unto us the mystical union 00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:29.160 that is betwixt, 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:30.279 don't use that very much, 00:25:30.540 --> 00:25:32.000 between Christ and his church. 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:37.299 And so if marriage signifies Christ and his church, 00:25:38.839 --> 00:25:41.640 Ephesians 5 says that there must be a difference. 00:25:44.319 --> 00:25:46.000 A man and a man, 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:47.160 or a woman and a woman, 00:25:47.380 --> 00:25:50.000 cannot signify Christ and his church. 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.720 A man and a woman, 00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:54.180 that difference, 00:25:54.299 --> 00:25:55.000 but complementary. 00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:58.859 What signifies the uniqueness 00:25:58.859 --> 00:26:00.960 and the difference of their roles 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:02.019 as Christ and the church? 00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:03.119 That glory, 00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:03.980 those differences, 00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:06.440 point us for the gospel. 00:26:07.700 --> 00:26:09.660 They display the glory of God. 00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:12.019 And they can only be shown 00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:13.559 in a marriage of a man and a woman. 00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:17.859 Which holy estate Christ adorned 00:26:17.859 --> 00:26:19.079 and beautified with his presence 00:26:19.079 --> 00:26:20.980 and first miracle that he wrought 00:26:20.980 --> 00:26:21.940 in Cana of Galilee, 00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:23.639 and is commended of St. Paul 00:26:23.639 --> 00:26:25.179 to be honourable among all men, 00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:27.200 and therefore is not by any 00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:28.240 to be enterprised, 00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:29.240 nor taken in hand, 00:26:29.379 --> 00:26:30.119 unadvisedly, 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:30.500 likely, 00:26:30.659 --> 00:26:31.220 or wantonly. 00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:32.859 And it goes on to say, 00:26:32.899 --> 00:26:34.759 we must consider the reasons for marriage. 00:26:34.859 --> 00:26:35.759 First, it was ordained 00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:37.179 for the procreation of children. 00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:41.379 That is one of the purposes for marriage. 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:42.259 It's not the only reason. 00:26:42.259 --> 00:26:44.980 And that goes a long way, 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:45.279 doesn't it, 00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:46.700 to defining what type of marriage 00:26:46.700 --> 00:26:47.500 is marriage. 00:26:48.539 --> 00:26:50.000 For the procreation of children. 00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:50.779 So at times, 00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:52.220 maybe because of age, 00:26:52.339 --> 00:26:52.879 or illness, 00:26:53.019 --> 00:26:53.900 or medical issues, 00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:55.339 children will not come. 00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.000 But the very constitution 00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.019 of the relationship 00:26:59.019 --> 00:27:01.960 is one that should bring forth life. 00:27:03.559 --> 00:27:04.019 Secondly, 00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:05.099 it was ordained for a remedy 00:27:05.099 --> 00:27:06.799 against sin to avoid fornication. 00:27:07.900 --> 00:27:08.379 Thirdly, 00:27:08.420 --> 00:27:10.379 it was ordained for the mutual society 00:27:10.379 --> 00:27:11.319 help and comfort 00:27:11.319 --> 00:27:12.179 that the one 00:27:12.179 --> 00:27:13.220 ought to have of the other, 00:27:13.339 --> 00:27:14.139 both in prosperity 00:27:14.139 --> 00:27:14.879 and adversity. 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:16.200 We are confused 00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:17.579 not only about divorce, 00:27:17.659 --> 00:27:18.399 but about marriage. 00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:22.039 And when we as Christians 00:27:22.039 --> 00:27:22.799 accept 00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:26.939 unbiblical divorces, 00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:27.879 or divorce 00:27:27.879 --> 00:27:28.700 as a light 00:27:28.700 --> 00:27:29.839 and trivial thing, 00:27:29.919 --> 00:27:30.639 then we are sowing 00:27:30.639 --> 00:27:31.099 the seeds 00:27:31.099 --> 00:27:31.799 of our destruction. 00:27:33.980 --> 00:27:34.899 And of marriage, 00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:36.359 which we seem to care, 00:27:36.579 --> 00:27:37.220 we profess 00:27:37.220 --> 00:27:38.079 to care so much about. 00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:40.779 Now let's move 00:27:40.779 --> 00:27:41.619 to the kind of application. 00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:42.480 Let's think, 00:27:42.579 --> 00:27:44.619 how are these two failures 00:27:44.619 --> 00:27:46.799 connected 00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:47.960 with what goes on 00:27:47.960 --> 00:27:49.399 in verses 33 to 37? 00:27:51.980 --> 00:27:53.659 With the making of oaths. 00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:56.059 And again, 00:27:56.119 --> 00:27:56.539 the Pharisees, 00:27:56.599 --> 00:27:57.159 they just want to make 00:27:57.159 --> 00:27:57.879 the law more manageable. 00:27:59.659 --> 00:28:00.460 Verse 33, 00:28:00.619 --> 00:28:01.359 they're not giving 00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:02.740 a direct quotation 00:28:02.740 --> 00:28:03.460 from the Old Testament, 00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:04.099 but a summary. 00:28:05.079 --> 00:28:05.899 So passages like 00:28:05.899 --> 00:28:07.179 Exodus 27, 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:08.299 I do not take 00:28:08.299 --> 00:28:09.459 the Lord's name in vain. 00:28:09.919 --> 00:28:11.219 Leviticus 19, 12, 00:28:11.919 --> 00:28:13.159 you shall not swear 00:28:13.159 --> 00:28:14.379 by any name falsely. 00:28:15.240 --> 00:28:16.199 Number 30, verse 2, 00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:17.019 if a man swears 00:28:17.019 --> 00:28:17.500 to the Lord 00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:18.079 or makes an oath, 00:28:18.119 --> 00:28:18.779 he shall not break 00:28:18.779 --> 00:28:19.199 his word, 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:20.439 but fulfil all 00:28:20.439 --> 00:28:21.339 that his mouth has spoken. 00:28:22.399 --> 00:28:23.480 There's nothing wrong 00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:24.480 with the Old Testament 00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:24.980 provisions. 00:28:26.419 --> 00:28:27.559 There's nothing really wrong 00:28:27.559 --> 00:28:27.859 with the way 00:28:27.859 --> 00:28:28.559 that it's summarised 00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:29.319 in verse 33. 00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:32.960 The problem was 00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:33.779 that they devised 00:28:33.779 --> 00:28:35.359 an elaborate system 00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:35.939 to get around 00:28:35.939 --> 00:28:36.740 a basic command 00:28:36.740 --> 00:28:38.899 of telling the truth. 00:28:40.299 --> 00:28:41.359 They developed 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:42.659 this understanding 00:28:42.659 --> 00:28:44.700 that the closer 00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:45.599 you were to 00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:46.299 swearing 00:28:46.299 --> 00:28:47.799 to God's name, 00:28:47.879 --> 00:28:48.619 the more binding 00:28:48.619 --> 00:28:49.599 the oath was. 00:28:51.500 --> 00:28:52.460 So let me show you 00:28:52.460 --> 00:28:53.179 what I mean. 00:28:54.519 --> 00:28:55.559 Matthew shows us 00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:56.679 exactly what is 00:28:56.679 --> 00:28:57.259 going on in 00:28:57.259 --> 00:28:59.400 Matthew 16, 00:28:59.519 --> 00:28:59.720 I think. 00:28:59.819 --> 00:29:00.460 Is it Matthew 16? 00:29:03.579 --> 00:29:03.940 No. 00:29:04.279 --> 00:29:04.420 It's 00:29:04.420 --> 00:29:06.640 Matthew 23. 00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:08.180 So go to Matthew 23, 00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:08.779 verse 16. 00:29:11.099 --> 00:29:11.900 Here Jesus says, 00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:12.940 woe to blind guides. 00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:13.519 That's what he calls 00:29:13.519 --> 00:29:14.099 the Pharisees. 00:29:15.579 --> 00:29:16.440 Woe to blind guides. 00:29:16.500 --> 00:29:17.279 If anyone swears 00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:17.819 by the temple, 00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:18.319 it's nothing. 00:29:18.700 --> 00:29:19.559 But if anyone swears 00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:20.740 by the gold of the temple, 00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:22.019 he's bound by his oath. 00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:22.799 Do you see what he's doing? 00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:25.759 If I swear on the temple, 00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:26.599 that's not a real oath. 00:29:27.259 --> 00:29:28.839 On the gold of the temple, 00:29:28.940 --> 00:29:29.579 well that counts. 00:29:30.779 --> 00:29:31.660 You blind fools, 00:29:31.779 --> 00:29:32.460 for which is greater 00:29:32.460 --> 00:29:33.440 the gold of the temple 00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:34.799 that has made 00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:35.519 the gold secret? 00:29:36.500 --> 00:29:36.900 And you say, 00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:37.460 if anyone swears 00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:38.019 by the altar, 00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:38.559 it's nothing. 00:29:38.680 --> 00:29:39.359 But if anyone swears 00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:39.879 by the gift 00:29:39.879 --> 00:29:40.500 that's on the altar, 00:29:40.579 --> 00:29:41.480 he's bound by the earth. 00:29:42.259 --> 00:29:43.059 You blind men, 00:29:43.099 --> 00:29:43.660 for which is greater 00:29:43.660 --> 00:29:44.680 the gift or the altar 00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:46.039 that makes the gift secret? 00:29:46.339 --> 00:29:47.279 So whoever swears 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:47.740 by the altar, 00:29:47.900 --> 00:29:48.579 swears by it 00:29:48.579 --> 00:29:49.420 and by everything on it. 00:29:49.819 --> 00:29:50.640 And whoever swears 00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:51.339 by the temple, 00:29:51.819 --> 00:29:52.480 swears by it 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:52.900 and by him 00:29:52.900 --> 00:29:53.640 who dwells in it. 00:29:53.960 --> 00:29:54.720 And whoever swears 00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:55.240 by heaven, 00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:56.619 swears by the throne of God 00:29:56.619 --> 00:29:57.219 and by him 00:29:57.219 --> 00:29:58.119 who sits upon it. 00:29:59.659 --> 00:30:00.459 Same concern 00:30:00.459 --> 00:30:01.039 that's reflected 00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:02.159 back in chapter 5. 00:30:03.639 --> 00:30:04.500 Do not take an oath 00:30:04.500 --> 00:30:05.979 either by heaven, 00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:07.019 for it is the throne of God 00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:07.619 or by the earth, 00:30:07.699 --> 00:30:08.319 for it is the footstool 00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:09.019 or by Jerusalem, 00:30:09.159 --> 00:30:09.679 for it's the city 00:30:09.679 --> 00:30:10.319 of the great king. 00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:14.460 I didn't make an oath 00:30:14.460 --> 00:30:15.500 on heaven. 00:30:15.740 --> 00:30:16.539 No, I just made it 00:30:16.539 --> 00:30:17.019 on earth 00:30:17.019 --> 00:30:17.839 so it doesn't count. 00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:19.319 She says the earth 00:30:19.319 --> 00:30:19.960 is the throne of God. 00:30:21.019 --> 00:30:21.839 I just made it 00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:22.480 by the temple, 00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:23.500 not by the gold 00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:24.399 so I can break it. 00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:25.599 They're not bound 00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:26.439 by their own words. 00:30:26.500 --> 00:30:27.079 It's like children, 00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:27.500 isn't it? 00:30:29.220 --> 00:30:30.259 I dare you. 00:30:31.399 --> 00:30:32.899 I double dare you. 00:30:33.859 --> 00:30:34.779 I double dare you. 00:30:34.779 --> 00:30:35.679 No returns forever. 00:30:36.919 --> 00:30:37.799 That's what these people 00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:38.200 are doing. 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:40.680 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 00:30:40.859 --> 00:30:42.779 I said cross my heart 00:30:42.779 --> 00:30:43.859 and hope to die 00:30:43.859 --> 00:30:45.279 but I never said 00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:46.619 stick a needle in my eye. 00:30:48.099 --> 00:30:49.480 It's verbally saying 00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:49.819 it's the eye 00:30:49.819 --> 00:30:50.740 and my fingers crossed. 00:30:52.399 --> 00:30:53.220 Does this mean 00:30:53.220 --> 00:30:54.059 that Jesus is against 00:30:54.059 --> 00:30:55.359 all kinds of oaths? 00:30:56.339 --> 00:30:57.139 It's often cited 00:30:57.139 --> 00:30:57.659 in that way. 00:30:57.899 --> 00:30:58.879 Don't take an oath. 00:31:00.099 --> 00:31:00.919 Well, the problem 00:31:00.919 --> 00:31:01.619 with that is 00:31:01.619 --> 00:31:02.399 God makes an oath. 00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:05.339 Hebrews 6.15 00:31:05.339 --> 00:31:06.399 to confirm his promise 00:31:06.399 --> 00:31:06.919 that Abraham, 00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:07.500 he swore it 00:31:07.500 --> 00:31:07.980 with an oath. 00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:09.800 Paul often used 00:31:09.800 --> 00:31:10.380 the phrase 00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:12.140 as God is my witness. 00:31:13.300 --> 00:31:14.060 In Matthew 26, 00:31:14.460 --> 00:31:14.779 Jesus, 00:31:14.980 --> 00:31:16.259 before his trial, 00:31:16.360 --> 00:31:16.900 makes a statement 00:31:16.900 --> 00:31:17.460 under oath. 00:31:18.100 --> 00:31:19.160 Jesus is not saying 00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:20.320 when you're asked 00:31:20.320 --> 00:31:20.860 to do something 00:31:20.860 --> 00:31:21.320 under oath 00:31:21.320 --> 00:31:22.220 you cannot do it. 00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:24.060 But what he is against 00:31:24.060 --> 00:31:24.820 is he's against 00:31:24.820 --> 00:31:25.880 the frivolous oath. 00:31:28.019 --> 00:31:28.700 But there's a time 00:31:28.700 --> 00:31:29.440 when we don't have 00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:30.220 to tell the truth. 00:31:31.460 --> 00:31:32.080 And there's a time 00:31:32.080 --> 00:31:32.880 when actually now 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:34.140 I do have to tell the truth. 00:31:34.140 --> 00:31:36.480 You shouldn't have 00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:36.820 to give 00:31:36.820 --> 00:31:37.680 I swear 00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:39.259 on my grandmother's grave. 00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:41.780 We say those phrases. 00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:42.780 We don't mean 00:31:42.780 --> 00:31:43.540 anything by it. 00:31:45.460 --> 00:31:46.560 Or more popular, 00:31:46.900 --> 00:31:47.860 I'm just going 00:31:47.860 --> 00:31:48.780 to be completely 00:31:48.780 --> 00:31:49.900 honest with you. 00:31:50.900 --> 00:31:51.820 What have you been 00:31:51.820 --> 00:31:53.540 for the whole 00:31:53.540 --> 00:31:54.120 of our friendship? 00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:56.220 To be totally 00:31:56.220 --> 00:31:57.200 honest with you, 00:31:58.300 --> 00:31:58.620 well, 00:31:58.720 --> 00:31:59.440 what were you before? 00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:01.480 We shouldn't have 00:32:01.480 --> 00:32:01.960 to say that. 00:32:03.559 --> 00:32:04.320 Everything that comes 00:32:04.320 --> 00:32:05.019 out of our mouths 00:32:05.019 --> 00:32:06.140 should be totally honest. 00:32:07.140 --> 00:32:07.840 We shouldn't have 00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:08.660 to say honest 00:32:08.660 --> 00:32:09.340 to God. 00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:11.480 Because everything 00:32:11.480 --> 00:32:12.160 you say, 00:32:12.380 --> 00:32:13.059 whether you make 00:32:13.059 --> 00:32:13.559 an oath, 00:32:14.059 --> 00:32:14.500 whether you put 00:32:14.500 --> 00:32:15.320 your hand on a Bible 00:32:15.320 --> 00:32:16.820 or not, 00:32:17.100 --> 00:32:17.620 it all ought 00:32:17.620 --> 00:32:18.160 to be the truth. 00:32:18.299 --> 00:32:19.539 Our word 00:32:19.539 --> 00:32:20.440 ought to be our bond. 00:32:22.900 --> 00:32:23.980 And Jesus says, 00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:25.180 let your 00:32:25.180 --> 00:32:27.700 words matter. 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:28.820 Your words do matter. 00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:30.700 He says, 00:32:30.860 --> 00:32:31.820 let your yes be yes 00:32:31.820 --> 00:32:32.700 and your no be no. 00:32:35.059 --> 00:32:35.720 But I wonder, 00:32:35.820 --> 00:32:36.360 are we the kind 00:32:36.360 --> 00:32:37.180 of people that are 00:32:37.180 --> 00:32:38.779 yes is yes 00:32:38.779 --> 00:32:39.640 and no is no? 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:42.240 You know how much 00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:43.140 he exaggerates. 00:32:43.259 --> 00:32:44.120 You can't 00:32:44.120 --> 00:32:45.620 take it exactly. 00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:48.279 He always makes 00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:48.700 promises. 00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:52.279 When you say 00:32:52.279 --> 00:32:52.960 you'll do something, 00:32:53.059 --> 00:32:53.580 now we know, 00:32:53.640 --> 00:32:53.860 don't we, 00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:54.580 we all make mistakes, 00:32:54.660 --> 00:32:55.019 we forget. 00:32:56.340 --> 00:32:57.259 But as a rule, 00:32:57.259 --> 00:32:58.279 when you say 00:32:58.279 --> 00:32:59.299 that you'll do something, 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:00.200 can people count 00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:00.519 on it? 00:33:02.120 --> 00:33:02.880 How about when we 00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:04.360 pass on info? 00:33:05.980 --> 00:33:06.880 Are our words 00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:07.720 like a rock? 00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:10.259 And so you pass 00:33:10.259 --> 00:33:11.100 the rock to somebody 00:33:11.100 --> 00:33:11.320 else, 00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:12.140 it's still rock-like, 00:33:12.220 --> 00:33:12.900 it's still way to see, 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:13.420 it's got the same 00:33:13.420 --> 00:33:13.740 shape, 00:33:13.799 --> 00:33:14.120 isn't it? 00:33:14.600 --> 00:33:15.600 It stays the same, 00:33:15.700 --> 00:33:16.440 that's my word. 00:33:17.220 --> 00:33:18.019 It's like a rock. 00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:20.559 Or is it like 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:21.340 play-doh? 00:33:23.019 --> 00:33:23.820 That when I pass it 00:33:23.820 --> 00:33:24.080 to somebody, 00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:24.700 it's still play-doh, 00:33:24.700 --> 00:33:25.420 but I mould it 00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:26.039 and I shape it 00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:26.400 to different, 00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:28.480 to fix others. 00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:31.720 We're all masters 00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:32.039 at this, 00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:32.259 aren't we? 00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:33.080 We all shade 00:33:33.080 --> 00:33:34.019 this part of the truth. 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:35.779 And Jesus says 00:33:35.779 --> 00:33:36.460 to his disciples, 00:33:37.019 --> 00:33:37.940 their yes must be yes 00:33:37.940 --> 00:33:38.600 and their no 00:33:38.600 --> 00:33:39.759 must be no. 00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:42.600 When I became 00:33:42.600 --> 00:33:43.759 pastor of this church 00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:44.980 nearly 15 years ago, 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:45.860 I made vows 00:33:45.860 --> 00:33:46.700 to you 00:33:46.700 --> 00:33:47.420 and to God. 00:33:47.420 --> 00:33:50.700 when every 00:33:50.700 --> 00:33:53.340 child is baptised, 00:33:53.620 --> 00:33:54.840 you make a vow, 00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:55.600 you promise 00:33:55.600 --> 00:33:57.740 to pray for that child 00:33:57.740 --> 00:33:59.060 and those parents 00:33:59.060 --> 00:34:01.279 and to care for that family. 00:34:03.640 --> 00:34:04.380 And when you became 00:34:04.380 --> 00:34:05.240 a member of this church, 00:34:05.300 --> 00:34:05.880 you promised. 00:34:07.320 --> 00:34:08.079 You promised 00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:09.019 to give to the church. 00:34:10.659 --> 00:34:11.320 You promised 00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:11.960 to be faithful 00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:12.900 at the means of grace. 00:34:15.900 --> 00:34:16.619 You promised 00:34:16.619 --> 00:34:17.819 to give of your time. 00:34:23.940 --> 00:34:24.440 Some of you 00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:25.139 have made those vows 00:34:25.139 --> 00:34:26.179 and I can tell you 00:34:26.179 --> 00:34:26.819 that not one 00:34:26.819 --> 00:34:27.480 of the elders 00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:29.619 likes to have 00:34:29.619 --> 00:34:30.500 those conversations, 00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:31.759 those phone calls, 00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:32.639 those visits 00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:34.480 where they say, 00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:34.819 you know, 00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:35.739 we love you, 00:34:35.779 --> 00:34:36.319 we love you being 00:34:36.319 --> 00:34:36.739 in the church, 00:34:36.819 --> 00:34:37.619 we're really glad 00:34:37.619 --> 00:34:38.039 you're here, 00:34:38.139 --> 00:34:40.900 but we've not seen you 00:34:40.900 --> 00:34:41.920 for ages. 00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:44.199 You're not around. 00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.579 Is anything wrong? 00:34:46.619 --> 00:34:48.239 Not one of the elders 00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:48.519 thinks, 00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:49.400 oh great tonight, 00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:49.799 I've got to go 00:34:49.799 --> 00:34:50.359 and see those people 00:34:50.359 --> 00:34:50.719 about that, 00:34:50.759 --> 00:34:51.359 I can tell you. 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:56.140 But because we as elders 00:34:56.140 --> 00:34:57.800 made vows before God 00:34:57.800 --> 00:34:58.980 and before you 00:34:58.980 --> 00:35:01.099 and we do love you, 00:35:02.019 --> 00:35:02.920 we want to hold you 00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:03.940 to account on that. 00:35:06.240 --> 00:35:06.960 The problem is 00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:07.500 the people that need 00:35:07.500 --> 00:35:07.980 to hear that 00:35:07.980 --> 00:35:08.360 aren't here, 00:35:08.420 --> 00:35:08.579 are they? 00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:11.380 And so Christians 00:35:11.380 --> 00:35:11.960 should be the most 00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:12.500 dependable 00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:13.140 when it comes to 00:35:13.140 --> 00:35:13.660 contracts 00:35:13.660 --> 00:35:15.039 and legal requirements 00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:17.760 and financial arrangements 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:19.140 and people of our word. 00:35:19.139 --> 00:35:19.179 marriage. 00:35:23.179 --> 00:35:23.940 And then finally 00:35:23.940 --> 00:35:24.759 we think of marriage. 00:35:26.859 --> 00:35:27.539 Wherever you are 00:35:27.539 --> 00:35:27.879 this morning, 00:35:27.940 --> 00:35:28.379 maybe you've been 00:35:28.379 --> 00:35:28.779 divorced 00:35:28.779 --> 00:35:30.219 and you had good 00:35:30.219 --> 00:35:30.779 grounds too. 00:35:32.339 --> 00:35:33.119 Maybe you realise 00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:33.739 that you didn't 00:35:33.739 --> 00:35:34.879 and you need to 00:35:34.879 --> 00:35:36.039 repent and make amends. 00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:38.500 Maybe you and your 00:35:38.500 --> 00:35:39.339 spouse are separated. 00:35:41.460 --> 00:35:42.239 Maybe your marriage 00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:43.239 is going swimmingly well, 00:35:43.319 --> 00:35:44.059 maybe it's going badly. 00:35:44.059 --> 00:35:47.199 Maybe you long to be 00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:47.940 married and you're not. 00:35:51.279 --> 00:35:52.259 This may be for you 00:35:52.259 --> 00:35:53.219 now or it may be 00:35:53.219 --> 00:35:53.779 for you later. 00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:56.299 And you have to 00:35:56.299 --> 00:35:57.119 consider what promises 00:35:57.119 --> 00:35:58.079 you made in marriage. 00:35:59.960 --> 00:36:00.659 That when you get 00:36:00.659 --> 00:36:01.440 married you stand 00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:02.360 before your very best 00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:02.940 friends and your 00:36:02.940 --> 00:36:04.239 family and before 00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:05.500 God himself and 00:36:05.500 --> 00:36:06.219 you promised. 00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:08.519 You promised. 00:36:10.779 --> 00:36:11.679 You promised. 00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:14.440 To have and to hold. 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:16.679 To love and to cherish. 00:36:18.019 --> 00:36:19.159 To be faithful to him 00:36:19.159 --> 00:36:20.079 or to her as long as 00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:20.759 you both shall live. 00:36:20.799 --> 00:36:21.839 You made that vow. 00:36:23.799 --> 00:36:24.619 You promised to 00:36:24.619 --> 00:36:25.659 forsake all others 00:36:25.659 --> 00:36:27.019 as I promised to my 00:36:27.019 --> 00:36:27.279 wife. 00:36:28.359 --> 00:36:29.239 That you would be with 00:36:29.239 --> 00:36:30.059 him or with her 00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:31.319 for better or for 00:36:31.319 --> 00:36:32.239 worse, for richer 00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:32.899 or for poorer. 00:36:33.839 --> 00:36:34.659 In sickness and in 00:36:34.659 --> 00:36:34.960 health. 00:36:36.579 --> 00:36:38.000 In cancer or in 00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:38.500 cruises. 00:36:39.500 --> 00:36:40.419 In experimental 00:36:40.420 --> 00:36:41.280 treatment or 00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:41.860 mountaintop 00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:42.460 experiences. 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:44.900 You promised that 00:36:44.900 --> 00:36:45.720 before a watching 00:36:45.720 --> 00:36:46.280 world. 00:36:47.099 --> 00:36:47.700 You promised that 00:36:47.700 --> 00:36:48.260 before God. 00:36:49.700 --> 00:36:50.920 And you said 00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:53.599 until death parts 00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:53.960 us. 00:36:54.900 --> 00:36:55.800 This is my solemn 00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:56.079 vow. 00:36:58.300 --> 00:36:59.320 And we live in a 00:36:59.320 --> 00:36:59.880 world, don't we, 00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:00.579 where words are 00:37:00.579 --> 00:37:01.780 very, very cheap. 00:37:03.240 --> 00:37:04.240 And words are 00:37:04.240 --> 00:37:04.920 everywhere and they 00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:05.340 are nothing. 00:37:06.860 --> 00:37:08.099 But they ought to be 00:37:08.099 --> 00:37:08.980 something important to 00:37:08.980 --> 00:37:09.440 the Christian. 00:37:10.579 --> 00:37:12.199 Because God invented 00:37:12.199 --> 00:37:12.780 words. 00:37:13.980 --> 00:37:14.719 And God 00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:16.240 hallowed language. 00:37:17.240 --> 00:37:18.079 By revealing 00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:19.199 himself to us in 00:37:19.199 --> 00:37:19.820 words. 00:37:21.900 --> 00:37:22.440 And you want to 00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:23.039 know how important 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:23.840 words are to God 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:24.679 when he came and 00:37:24.679 --> 00:37:25.360 he took on human 00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:25.800 flesh. 00:37:25.940 --> 00:37:27.260 It was the word 00:37:27.260 --> 00:37:28.099 made flesh. 00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:29.800 To reflect the 00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:30.639 character of God 00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:31.920 we must speak 00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:34.719 through words. 00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:37.500 and take great 00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:38.259 pains to say 00:37:38.259 --> 00:37:38.919 what we mean 00:37:38.919 --> 00:37:39.719 and mean what 00:37:39.719 --> 00:37:40.359 we say. 00:37:41.819 --> 00:37:42.439 And especially 00:37:42.439 --> 00:37:43.500 when that comes to 00:37:43.500 --> 00:37:44.619 marriage vows to 00:37:44.619 --> 00:37:45.079 each other. 00:37:48.179 --> 00:37:49.159 And before many 00:37:49.159 --> 00:37:49.639 witnesses. 00:37:51.159 --> 00:37:51.639 And in the 00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:52.359 presence of God. 00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:53.679 Let's pray. 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:54.119 00:37:54.119 --> 00:38:24.099 Thank you.