I am going to talk about our second word for the year.
I'm going to talk about order.
And there's a lot of definitions for the word order.
So it's one of these words that has multiple different meanings depending how it's used.
But I want to look at two different versions of the word or meanings of the word.
The first one would be order in the sense of priority, divine order.
We all have priorities.
The question is, are our priorities God's priorities?
Is the order of our priorities, the way we order the priorities of our life the same as what God wants us to?
So that's one way to look at order.
The other way to look at order is basically the opposite of disorder.
So if you have a bunch of chaos and messiness and just kind of everything's everywhere
and you just kind of don't know what's going on,
the opposite of that is what I'm talking about.
Okay, order.
Bringing order to chaos.
Bringing order to disorder.
So two different things.
They go together.
They're similar.
But kind of two different ways to look at order.
And either one will cause problems and either one is not the way God wants it to be.
Okay.
God wants us to revere his order, his priorities, divine order priorities.
And then I think when the kingdom of God comes, it always brings order.
It always brings order.
It always brings, God's word itself brings order into chaos.
I mean, we see this in the book of Genesis right there in the beginning.
And there's something about that.
No matter how, you know, obviously different people have different personalities too.
Birth order can affect this.
But, you know, we have different kind of tolerances of cleanliness or chaos or all these kind of things.
But there is something, I believe, that's inherently in all of us that loves when order is brought to chaos.
And I think it's because it's the kingdom of God.
The kingdom of God, when it comes, it's God's rule.
It's the way that God wants things done.
The priority at which he wants things done.
It's coming down to earth as it is in heaven.
And there's a reason why the kingdom of God is referred to in Romans chapter 14 as righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
When kingdom order comes, righteousness, peace, and joy come as well.
Amen?
So that's what I mean by order.
That's what I mean by kind of the two portions of order that we want to focus on.
So let's start with just looking at a handful of verses giving us the biblical value for order.
Because I think we sometimes value order on a different scale.
Some of us value it more than others.
And we can develop a tolerance for disorder.
Right?
We can get so used to it, we don't even notice it anymore.
Right?
This is why we need the help of the body.
Because some of us, kind of the boiling of a frog, you know, slowly but surely, we ended up being comfortable to a certain degree with disorder or chaos.
And sometimes it can even go to the point where we're not just comfortable with it, we're actually dependent upon it.
Because it's so familiar to us, we feel like a fish out of water when we don't experience it.
That's not a good thing.
We don't want to feel comfortable with a sense of disorder.
We should feel a little bit of a divine agitation that says, hey, this needs to be brought into order.
Okay?
And so, some of us are probably going to have to ask questions of other people.
And a little bit of advice, don't ask someone who's just as comfortable with disorder as you if there's disorder in your life.
I don't see anyone finding me.
Or someone who's more comfortable with disorder.
He's like, oh, your life is great, man.
I wish I could.
So, but I think you know what I mean.
You know, we can develop certain tolerances of that.
So, let's look at, so I think sometimes to combat these kind of mindsets or experiences we get with being comfortable with things that maybe we shouldn't be,
the best way to combat that is with the Word of God.
Okay?
So, let's just look at a few verses on what the Word of God says about order.
First one's in 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
He's speaking of marriage.
He's talking about multiple different scenarios of marriage.
And in verse 35 in chapter 7, he gives the reason for why he's saying things.
And he says, I say this to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Okay?
And so there you see him esteeming as the reason of why he's giving his counsel this kind of overarching theme that's in the Scriptures
and that's a part of the kingdom of God.
And it's this, to promote good order.
Like, that's a noble thing to do.
We should seek to promote good order.
And the things that we say to one another, just like Paul was saying to these guys in regards to marriage,
he said, hey, the reason I'm saying this to you is to promote good order.
So you can see that Paul's goal is to bring order.
And we should seek to do the same.
We should seek to bring and to promote good order.
It's interesting, even the word that he uses there, promote good order.
There are things, this is more than just bringing order in the moment.
This is just a way of thinking, talking, viewing things that is conducive to or promotes good order.
That's like a step further than just bringing order in the moment.
It's actually having a way that you are thinking and a way that you are aiming, okay, that promotes good order.
And so you've got to ask the question.
Listen, we have sometimes, sometimes we look at our lives and we say, oh, man, I could use more order in this particular area.
And you've got to ask the question, well, are the systems of my life that currently exist, are they promoting good order?
Or are they promoting disorder?
And so if you're aiming at order and you're saying, hey, I know I need to get more order in my life.
I know I need to do this.
Like this word is from the Lord.
Guilty.
Like I'm ready.
Let's do this.
Let's aim at this.
But the systems that you've set up in your life are promoting disorder.
You can have all the great intentions of the world.
You're still going to end up in the same spot.
That's why Paul says, hey, I say this to promote good order.
In other words, he's saying there's ways of thinking, doing and saying that promote good order.
And then there's ways that don't.
And so you've got to ask the question, do I just have desires without the systems or plans in place that would promote good order?
Because those two don't gel.
You've got to have both.
Okay.
Also in 1 Corinthians, in chapter 14, he's speaking of spiritual gifts.
It says, verse 39, he says, so my brothers earnestly desire to prophesy.
Do not forbid speaking in tongues.
But all things should be done decently and in order.
Right?
In order.
So here he's speaking of church meetings, gatherings.
He's, and I don't know, I'm sure a lot of you, maybe even all of you, have been in meetings with the spiritual gifts being exercised that were disorderly.
Okay?
So we know what that looks like.
A lot of us, maybe all of us.
And he's saying, hey, do these things.
Go after these things, but do them in order.
Again, it's this kind of overarching value that is this apostolic order that keeps being hit by Paul that, hey, yes, do multiple things.
Do a lot of things that could potentially be chaotic, but pay attention to order.
Pay attention to order.
He says all things should be done decently and in order.
And what happens is the reason he's saying that is because, and you'll see this later in the chapter,
is that when the spiritual gifts are used in order, people are edified.
Edification is the result of order.
Okay?
When things are ordered in the right priority, when things are ordered in the sense that they're not chaotic,
but they're used the way they were supposed to be used, there's edification.
People are growing and they're being built up.
And that's true of families as well.
It's true of families as well.
It's true of marriages.
It's true of households.
Okay?
Colossians 2 verse 5.
This is in the CSB.
This is Paul writing to Colossians and he says,
I may be absent in body, but I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see how well ordered you are
and the strength of your faith in Christ.
Okay?
Rejoicing to see how well ordered you are.
So Paul is looking for someone.
He's doing his apostolic travels.
He's in and out.
He comes to Colossians.
He's going to be coming to them.
And he's saying that I'm rejoicing to see how orderly you are.
He's looking for something.
What's he looking for?
He's looking for order.
And not just any order.
He's saying, I'm rejoicing to see how orderly you are.
Like this is something you should strive after.
It increases sin.
How orderly are you?
How is order manifesting itself in your life together?
I delight to see how orderly you are.
How orderly are you?
How orderly are you in all the areas of your life?
Not just one.
Not just two.
But saying, hey, is there?
And sometimes we can hide behind areas where we're really good at bringing order
while being very deficient in other areas of order.
And we think, I'm cool.
I'm good.
Right?
But Paul says, I delight.
I enjoy to see how orderly you are.
We should do the same thing.
We should delight to see how orderly our own homes are and how we should delight in the
order of others.
And we should help one another.
We should challenge one another.
We should encourage one another.
And this is what Paul was doing.
Right?
He rejoiced to see how well-ordered they were and the strength of their faith in Christ.
Right?
And really those two go together.
Okay?
Well-ordered.
The only way you're going to do that is through faith in Christ.
Because one of the results of disorder is overwhelm-ness.
Right?
Disorder overwhelms.
Oftentimes we say that, oh, that person's overwhelmed because of so much, because they
have so much on their plate.
Usually not true.
Especially if all the things on the plate were from the Lord.
Most often, the overwhelm-ness is not due to the amount on the plate, but the lack of order
of the things on the plate.
Disorder causes you to be overwhelmed.
The more orderly your home is, the less overwhelmed the people in that home are.
Okay?
Disorder makes you feel this sense of you don't have peace.
That's why the kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
You don't have joy.
You don't have peace.
Things aren't right.
Because they're not rightly ordered.
Okay?
And so, oftentimes, though, we can blame the amount of things we have.
Like I said before, though, the problem is, a lot of times those things that are on your
plate are actually ordained by the Lord.
Like kids.
You know, it's like, I can't handle these kids.
Really?
Is God's, oh, is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your kids?
Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your finances?
Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your marriage?
Is God's grace not sufficient when it comes to your household, your job?
Is God's grace not sufficient?
Is it?
But I got a lot of stuff on my plate.
Yeah.
You do.
You do have a lot of stuff on your plate.
Yeah, I look around the room and I see a lot of people with a lot of stuff on their plate.
and sometimes I get overwhelmed for you.
You know, I think, oh my gosh,
it's not that long ago,
Gene and I were in the same stage
of raising up children
and trying to balance all the other things
and we had to do the same thing.
We had to see, you know,
people had to see how firm our faith was in Christ.
Do we believe that his grace is sufficient?
Do we believe that when we do things God's way,
it brings God's order
and when it brings God's order,
it brings God's peace?
Do we believe that?
Which just releases more grace.
It's hard to experience grace without peace.
That's why you always hear the phrase grace and peace too.
Those are kind of, they're hard to separate, right?
How do you separate grace and peace?
They very much go together, okay?
So he says, rejoicing to see how well ordered you are.
Titus chapter one, verse five.
Here you have Paul encouraging Titus,
who I believe is a young apostle,
kind of a protege of Paul's,
spiritual son of Paul's.
He says, this is why I left you in Crete,
so that you might put what remained in order,
into order,
and appoint elders in every town
as I directed you.
Put what remained into order, okay?
So this is one of the jobs of the Apostle gifting.
This is one of the jobs of elders,
is they bring order.
Why?
Because they have authority,
and authority is given to bring order.
Authority is given to build up.
And sometimes we waste our authority, okay?
Sometimes we waste our authority.
And sometimes we have unbelief around our authority.
We don't realize, you know,
oftentimes in marriage,
when people are having marriage problems,
people start to be tempted with different lies
about being able to deal with their spouse.
And one thing Gene and I will say oftentimes
in counseling with married couples
is that there's nobody on planet Earth
who's more grace to deal with your spouse than you.
And do you believe that?
Do you believe that?
Because when you believe it,
it really changes things, okay?
And, you know, I say that to husbands
with their whole families,
and it's just like, listen,
you're the guy.
You're the one God put in this family.
Like, you didn't,
God orchestrated this.
Do you believe that you have more grace than anybody,
that the authority that God gave you
is to bring order and to build up your family?
Like, we have to believe that.
And Paul had this desire
to put what remained into order,
where there was disorder,
where there was lacking,
the authority needed to bring things into order.
He said, hey,
put what remained into order.
It's interesting, even right now,
in our political situation,
the difference between leaders
and how leadership styles bring order
or bring disorder, right?
We've experienced,
there's multiple different leaders
over the years who've brought,
bad leaders bring more disorder.
Bad leaders,
whether they're political,
whether they're spiritual leaders,
whether they're family leaders,
business leaders,
when leaders are bad,
it just brings more disorder
and it makes,
it robs people of peace.
But when leaders are strong
and they bring good leadership,
it brings order.
And Paul's saying,
hey, I gotta,
I wanna put what remains into order,
so go appoint elders
in all these different cities.
One more verse
when it comes to biblical value for order.
One of my favorite verses
is 1 Samuel 2,
verse 30.
There's this amazing statement
that says,
those who,
God is saying,
those who honor me,
I will honor.
Those who honor me,
I will honor.
And to me,
that's a verse about order.
You might say,
well, he's not talking about order there.
And I'm thinking,
well, I think he is.
So he's basically saying,
if you honor me
in the way that things are supposed to be,
I will honor you.
That just begs
such a great question to me.
And that is,
what does it look like
when God honors you?
Have you ever thought about that?
And I think it's righteousness,
peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
I think it's order.
When you say,
God,
I'm going to pay attention
to what you esteem.
I am going to esteem
what you esteem.
I'm gonna aim at what you esteem.
I'm going to honor you.
And I know
that I have this promise
that if I honor you,
you're gonna honor me.
And that brings a sense
of peace and order
that like nothing else.
It's a difference
between us as Christians
and everyone else in the world.
We have this God
who cares so deeply about us
that he makes a statement like this.
That's an amazing statement to me.
I love that statement.
On the flip side,
it also says,
if you don't honor me,
then I'll disregard you.
So there's a sense of like,
hey,
you have to pay attention
to what God wants.
You have to pay attention
to what is right
and godly and esteemed.
And he promises,
if you do this,
I'll honor you in there.
Okay?
So,
I hope that gives
kind of more of just
a broad kind of thematic value
for order in the scriptures.
I think that's
just something
that's in the Bible
that we should esteem.
And some of us
need to esteem it
more than others.
Okay?
Some of us
have maybe gotten
too used to disorder
and chaos
and we need to
get things in order.
I believe God's
putting his finger on that.
He gave us that word
for a reason.
And the truth is,
there's certain aspects
of our life
where
it's a lot more,
disorder is a lot more
consequential
than other times.
Okay?
And really,
where that really comes true
is getting it right
on the front end
is really helpful
on the back end.
Especially in,
I mean,
just about everything.
Like,
if you get things
in order on the front end,
it's going to bear fruit
on the back end.
If you wait to bring order,
the back end becomes
a lot more difficult.
I mean,
have you ever said,
man,
I wish we would have
brought more order
to this before?
Wish we would have
brought more order
to our kids before.
Wish we would have,
now they're older
and it's like,
and we had more
and it's crazy.
Wish we would have
brought more order
to our marriage before
because we've developed
some really bad habits.
I wish we would have
brought more order
to our finances before
because now we're
in this kind of pit
and we're digging
ourselves out.
But if we would have
paid attention
to this earlier,
it would have been
a lot easier.
And so,
I'm not saying that
to condemn anyone
who feels like you're
in one of those pits.
Okay?
Or maybe a couple of them.
But,
let it be a lesson
that when you pay
attention to order
on the front end,
it bears fruit
down the road.
And that's why,
and sometimes
it's hard to have
the value for it
because a lot of times
it's not immediate
gratification.
It's,
and we love
immediate gratification.
But some things
when it comes to order
are,
you won't bear
the fruit of it
until a long time after.
You know,
like I was saying
this to Bellicose
last week,
you know,
I love it when people say,
hey,
I tried spanking
and it didn't work.
I'm like,
how old is your kid?
My kid's three.
I'm like,
well,
you're not done yet.
Like,
what do you,
what do you mean
you tried it
and didn't work?
You're not done.
And it's like,
well,
I've been doing it
for a while now.
It's just not working.
And it's like,
well,
you're on the front end
of this thing.
You got to keep going.
You got years left
of this.
You just got to be consistent
and it will bear fruit.
Why?
Because it's God's ways.
It's God's ways.
And so,
don't let disorder
come into your house
because you lack faith
in the ways of God
and in the principles
that God has set forth
as priority.
So,
one of the things
I think that is most important
when it comes to order
is this dynamic
of household priority.
Okay?
And I'm going to look at it
in 1 Timothy chapter 3
and then chapter 5.
But we'll start
in 1 Timothy chapter 3.
Can I get my water?
1 Timothy chapter 3
verses 4 through 5.
It's talking about
the qualifications
of an elder.
And it says,
He must manage
his own household well
with all dignity
keeping his children
submissive.
For if someone
does not know
how to manage
his own household,
how will he care
for God's church?
So,
here you have an order.
Right?
He says,
if you don't know
how to manage
your own household,
how will you handle
the church?
We're talking
order priority.
First,
start with your own household.
Okay?
Verse 4,
right there in the beginning
he said,
He must manage
his own household well.
But he's talking
about two households.
Household of God
and their own household.
The priority
is their own household.
And this is where
I'm talking about
on the front end
and the back end.
On the front end,
it's your own household.
On the back end,
it's fruit in the household
of God.
But you've got to start here.
I've got to say,
one of the most
neglected things
in the order of priority
in the church,
especially when it comes
to leadership,
is this priority order
of household.
Why?
It's so straightforward
in the scriptures
and yet so often
we think,
oh no,
I just got to keep ministering.
I just got to be
a minister
while my family
and my own household
is not in order.
And why in the world
do I think I can bring
a household into the church
if I can't bring it
into my own home?
Why do we think that?
If you think that,
stop.
Please, stop.
It's wrong.
It's unbiblical.
If you're living
in some kind of delusion,
that's not how
God's kingdom works.
You have to get
your household.
And then when you,
when you're,
that's the training ground.
That is the microcosm
of the bigger.
Like when you can handle that,
it will,
it will do wonders
beyond that.
But what ends up happening
is we end up putting
a disproportionate time
into the church
without being able
to manage our own family.
Now,
I'm not telling you
about one or the other.
We do both in the,
but we do both
in the right order.
And that's the problem.
Sometimes we go to extremes.
Some people are like,
oh, I'm all in on the church
but I neglect my family.
And so then to correct,
people go all in on their family
and neglect the church.
No, it's both
but in the right order.
Don't go to extremes.
Just do right,
both in the right order.
And you've got to start
with your own household.
There's a reason he says
this is a qualification
for an elder
because if someone doesn't know
how to manage
his own household,
how will he care
for God's church?
Goes out in 1 Timothy 3,
verse 12
and he talks about deacons.
And he says a similar thing.
He says,
let deacons each be
the husband of one wife
managing their children
and their own households well.
Do you manage
your own households well?
Are you managing it well?
And if you're not,
are you honest about it?
Because if you don't
get in the light on it,
like Zemir was talking about
when we shared
the Lord's table together,
if we don't get
in the light on that,
we have no fellowship.
We're not going to have
any growth.
We got to get in the light
in those areas where,
hey, I, yeah,
there's areas in my household
that aren't in order
and this shouldn't be a secret.
Why am I hiding these things?
I need help.
I need love.
I need fellowship.
He goes on in 1 Timothy 5
and he's talking about widows.
But you see the same concept
of household priority.
1 Timothy 5, verse 4.
If a widow has children
or grandchildren,
let them first learn
to show godliness
to their what?
Their own household.
You see in this,
it's thematic here.
Let them first learn
to show godliness
to their own household
and to make some return
to their parents
for this is pleasing
in the sight of God.
She who is truly a widow
left all alone
has set her hope on God
and continues in supplications
and prayers night and day.
But she who is self-indulgent
is dead even while she lives.
Command these things as well
so that they may be without reproach.
Verse 8.
But if anyone does not provide
for his relatives
and especially for members
of his own household,
he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever.
Some pretty strong language there.
Why would the Bible,
doesn't that seem a little extreme?
Denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever?
I mean,
doesn't that kind of feel
like a little out of place?
Like,
we would kind of cruise him along
there good talking about widows
and then he just throws
that bomb in there?
It's just like,
hey,
just say,
oh,
if you don't take care of,
if you don't take care
of the members of your household,
you've denied the faith
and are worse than an unbeliever.
It's like,
whoa,
where did that come from?
We should take notice.
This is serious.
If anyone does not provide
for his relatives,
especially for members
of his household,
God cares about
the divine priority
of household.
He has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever.
Verse 9,
let a widow be enrolled
if she is not less than
six years of age,
have been the wife
of one husband
and having a reputation
for good works.
She has brought up children,
has shown hospitality,
has washed the feet
of the saints,
has cared for the afflicted,
has devoted herself
to every good work,
but refused to enroll
younger widows
for when their passions
draw them away from Christ,
they desire to marry
and so incur condemnation
for having abandoned
their former faith.
Besides that,
they learn to be idlers,
going about from house to house,
not only idlers,
but also gossips
and busybodies
saying what they should not.
So then in verse 14,
he brings this all
to conclusion.
What does he say?
So I would have younger widows
marry,
bear children,
and manage their households
and give the adversary
no occasion for slander
for some have already
strayed after Satan.
If any believing woman
has relatives who are widows,
let her care for them.
Let the church not be burdened
so that it may care
for those who are truly widows.
Again, you see,
I'm just saying,
hey, if you've got widows
in your family,
don't have the church
take care of them.
You take care
of your household first.
You take care
of the household first.
To me,
the pages of
1 Timothy 3 and 5
are screaming out
household first,
household first.
Let me ask you,
where's your household?
Where's your household?
Where is it
in the order of priority?
Is it above the things
that seem to be more fun
than ordering your household?
Is it
a priority so much
so that you're consistent
in it?
That you give time to it
in such a way that,
hey, this is important
to me and my family.
This is important
to me as a single person
who has a household.
Like, I want my household
in order.
I want my household
prioritized.
I want my household
to be a place
where I'm creating
a harmonious
and systematic
arrangement
in the household
where things are
in their proper place
and activities
are carried out
efficiently and effectively.
Right?
I want that kind
of harmony
in my home.
Where is that
as a priority?
Where is that
as a consistency?
I think the Bible
is very clear
that your household
has to be first.
and I love
the,
uh,
like,
one of my favorite quotes
is, uh,
Roosevelt talking about
the man in the arena
and how the critics
who aren't in the arena
who like to criticize
the people who aren't
in the arena
and not being like
those cold and timid souls
who neither know
victory nor defeat.
I love that quote
because I,
I hate when people
criticize people
who are in the arena.
It's like,
you get in the arena
and you see how it is
before you criticize.
And one thing I can say
about all of you
who came to this church
together,
you're in the arena.
I love you guys.
You guys are my,
like,
I'm rooting for this church
because you guys
got out there and did it.
So I'm going to be
the last person
to say,
to bring this
harsh critique,
but I am going to say
in your love for the church,
make sure that your
household is first
so that you can be
for the church.
I love that you jumped
out there and did this.
I love that you
left comfort
and friendships
and established church
to come and do this church.
But please remember
to do household first
and do both
in the right order.
Okay?
But do household first.
We have to do that.
Okay?
There's no other way
to do a healthy church plant.
That's why it's so important
to say,
I'm going to say it
really clearly.
Please listen to me on this.
If you don't hear anything else,
hear this.
If we don't do household first
before church,
we'll never have
a healthy church.
We won't.
Because it's out of order.
God doesn't bless that.
God does not bless that.
Are you hearing me on this?
Like, this is important.
And again,
that's not me criticizing.
I'm saying,
you're my people.
You stepped out
and said,
we're going to do this.
Praise God for you.
I love you.
Right?
But know what that means.
That doesn't just mean,
oh,
we got this little storefront
in Raytown
and, you know,
we're making it happen.
No,
it means
I got to do the work
of putting my household first
so that this church
can be healthy.
You see what I'm saying?
Like,
that is the work.
You say,
oh no,
the work is evangelism.
Of course it's evangelism.
But if you're doing
a bunch of evangelism
and your household's
not in order,
there's not going to be
good fruit in that.
Right?
So I know the work
is preaching and teaching
and doing discipleship.
Of course it is.
But if you're not
taking care of first
discipling and raising
up your own family,
it ain't going to happen.
Okay?
The work is building up
the house of God.
Of course it is.
But if you can't even
handle your own house,
your own household,
how in the world
do you take care
of the church?
Paul says he can.
Right?
So,
this is why I think
this is so important.
And I hope you can hear
the dual kind of language
that I'm using
where you can say,
I'm proud of you
for stepping out.
And I'm rooting
for every single one of you
and for us together
to do this
and see a healthy church.
And I believe
we're going to.
But there's only one way.
Like,
there's no way.
You can't get around
this thing.
Okay?
So what does that
look like practically?
Well,
number one,
we've got to
prioritize God.
It's the obvious one,
right?
You know,
it's just,
it's obvious.
But it's so neglected.
It's saying,
is God my first priority?
And have I planned it in?
Have I planned it in?
The busier you get,
the more you've got to plan.
You may say,
well,
I'm not a planner.
I like just kind of
going by that seat,
you know,
flying by the seat
of my own pants.
You know,
I just like that.
It's cool.
It's fun.
It's like,
yeah,
you're too busy for that.
Maybe that worked
when you were single
or when you,
you know,
you didn't have
as much responsibilities
or maybe
when you were single
with less responsibilities,
now you're single
with a ton of responsibilities
or you're married
with a bunch of responsibilities.
You've got a bunch of kids.
You've got jobs,
business,
all this stuff,
whatever it may be,
church.
And you said,
but I like to do that.
That's the way I like it.
Well,
I'm sorry.
You're not good at it.
You're not good at it
and someone needs to tell you,
right?
Maybe you used to be,
but you're not anymore.
The more things
have gotten to your plate,
the more it requires
you to order your life,
order your priorities,
plan things.
And that's true with God.
Most often,
what's the thing that goes?
Prayer.
Sitting at the feet of Jesus.
It's Luke 10,
right?
Mary has chosen what is better
and it will not be taken away from her.
What did she do?
She sat at the feet of Jesus
and listened.
This is the kind of love
that God is highest
in divine order,
right?
Sitting at,
tell my sister to help me,
right?
It's like,
well,
yeah,
someone's got to make the food.
We can't all just sit
at the feet of Jesus
and no one would eat,
right?
But she chose
what was better.
And it's easy to choose
the service
and the making the food
and to never sit
at Jesus' feet
and listen.
And that's a mistake.
We've got to prioritize that.
We've got to plan it in.
If we don't plan it,
it's just not going to happen.
If you don't plan your life,
someone else will be
more than happy
to plan it for you.
Number two,
practical.
If you're married,
I'm going to bring order
to our marriages,
okay?
Where we prioritize
our marriage
in the right order.
I have this kind of
working theory
that every woman
who's married
is tempted periodically,
if not very often,
to believe either
that her husband
doesn't care more
about her
than himself
or that
he doesn't care
about anything.
But that is a
constant thread
in most wives,
if not all wives,
that they're tempted
to believe that.
And so as husbands,
what are you going to do
about it?
Because that's real.
And a lot of times
they're tempted
to think that
because of you,
because of me,
right?
We're giving them reasons.
And I've been asking
guys this recently.
What are the things
that are,
when you're away
at work during the day
and your wife's at home,
what are the things
that are speaking to her
that you care more
about yourself than her?
I asked a couple guys
this the other day
and the one guy said,
oh, it's my baseboards.
Like, what do you mean?
Well, my wife really wanted
me to get these baseboards done.
I haven't got them done forever.
And I'm like, yeah,
your baseboards are speaking
to your wife all day,
every day.
He loves himself
more than you.
I asked the other guy,
he said, oh,
it's my backsplash.
My backsplash.
I'm like, yeah,
your backsplash
is speaking to your wife
every day.
Every day she's in the kitchen.
She looks over
at the backsplash.
That's not done.
And it's just,
the backsplash
is just shouting to her.
He cares more
about himself than you.
That's real.
It is real.
So what are the things,
your husband,
guys,
what are the things
that you've left
that you haven't done
that are speaking
to your wife?
Hey,
I care more
about myself than you.
You don't want anything
speaking to your wife
while you're gone.
Okay?
Number one.
But you can do something
about that.
We can do something
about that.
And it goes both ways too.
I'm not just picking
on the husbands.
There's things that wives
can do as well
that I've been asked
to do and should do.
But we don't want
those things
to be in the way.
And sometimes we,
there's things like that
that we let go
for way too long.
Right?
We all do this.
And we have to
get serious about saying,
all right,
I'm not going to do this anymore.
That's bringing order
to our marriage.
Right?
What about children?
Bringing order
to the children.
Looks like obedience.
Looks like order
in the home.
It looks like respect.
Okay?
When you say
for your kids
to do something
and then they don't do it
and you don't do anything
about it,
you're teaching your kids
to disobey.
Do you realize that?
That's literally,
when you don't enforce
your authority,
you're subtly telling them,
oh, you can get away with this.
It's totally cool.
I'm not going to do
anything about it.
And every little kid
is looking
to see how much
you'll give them.
That's what kids do.
They're constantly looking.
Got a little eye contact
for some kids here.
That's good.
They're always looking
like,
what can I get away with?
What can I get away with?
Like,
this is built into them.
Their sinful nature.
And if you let them
get away with it,
oh,
that's like
a green light for them.
Whoa!
He didn't do anything.
Mom didn't do anything.
I can do this.
So you're literally,
we don't think
about it that way,
but often we are
teaching our kids
to disobey
by not enforcing
our rule and authority.
Okay?
Another thing
that's just a practical.
It amazes me nowadays
how often kids
say no to their parents
and the parents
have a conversation
after that.
It's like,
no conversation
with your kids,
especially your little kids,
should ever start
with them saying
the word no.
Like,
that's the end
of the conversation.
Do you understand?
Like,
that's not a time
to start a conversation.
Hi is a way
to start a conversation.
Okay?
Not no.
My son or daughter
just said no to me.
I think I'm going
to talk to him about it.
How do you feel?
Do you feel like
you're not doing too well?
You know,
no,
there's no conversation.
There's no talking
about their feelings.
They're about to feel
something else.
They should feel
something else real quick.
Like,
there should be
a zero no policy
in your homes.
And the amount
of young parents
I see now
where it's like,
they say something
and the kid says no
and I'm thinking,
what's going on here?
You don't say no
to your parents.
And then like,
the parent,
the parent just
has a conversation.
Like,
no,
don't talk to them.
Go discipline them.
This is not
a conversation starter.
No is never
a conversation starter
with your kid.
Okay?
Very important.
Takes a lot
of consistency.
There's,
parenting,
disciplining your kids
is one of the most
difficult things
because of the level
of consistency
it requires.
And,
that's why we need
people in our life
who can even say to us,
hey,
you're not being consistent.
Gene and I had
many young friends
who were raising kids
at the same time
as us
and we'd finish
the night together
and as we're walking
out the door
putting our coats on,
one of them would grab
and say,
hey,
you know,
you said no
to your kid a lot tonight
and never got up
to discipline them.
Ouch.
You're right.
It's totally true.
I've been really tired lately.
Well,
we're all tired.
Be consistent.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate that.
You're totally right.
I did do that a lot tonight
and I've been lazy.
I need to be more consistent.
You have people
that do that.
Do you do that
with other people?
Do they do that to you?
This church needs
to create a culture
like that.
Okay?
We need to teach
our kids how to sit.
Listen,
if you're primarily
teaching your kids
to sit,
to obey,
and to respect
in public settings,
you're doing it wrong.
You're doing it wrong.
Now,
you do have to do it
in public settings,
but that should be
the overflow
of what you're doing
at home.
And it is the overflow
of what you're doing
at home.
And sometimes
it ain't pretty.
You know?
I remember a time
when I was like,
Elijah used to wiggle
all the time
and he'd sit with me
and I'd be like,
I'm winning this battle today.
And I got up
and left in church
so many times
and spanked him
because every time
he wouldn't sit
on my lap.
Oh,
look at him.
He sits so great.
Isn't that awesome?
But I just kept
being consistent
with him.
Right?
But,
yes,
I did it in that meeting,
but,
like,
that's not,
if I'm just doing it
in that meeting,
this is going to be
a long,
hard battle.
I need to do this
at home.
I need to teach him
how to sit on my lap
at some times at home
where it's just like,
hey,
bud,
you're just going
to sit on my lap
and you're not going
to wiggle and get off.
And if you do,
you're going to get spanked.
Like,
you're just going
to sit on my lap.
Right?
The other thing
is teaching our kids
to respect other adults.
Okay?
It's not okay
if your kids
say things like,
well,
I don't have to listen
to you,
not my dad.
Well,
yes,
like,
if your parents are,
if some other person
is overstepping
their authority,
that's fine.
But a lot of times
it's just like,
hey,
stop hinting Susie
or whatever.
It's like,
I don't have to listen
to you.
It's like,
whoa,
okay.
That's not good.
We don't want to create
kids to respect adults.
And when they say things like,
hey,
we're going to go sit down now
or hey,
stop hitting,
you know,
little Susie,
little Johnny.
It's always little Susie
and little Johnny
if you don't know that.
That's always the example.
But teaching our kids
to respect,
right?
That's really important.
We had a friend
whose kid,
whenever they'd walk
in the door,
he'd walk up
and he'd kick me.
And the dad would never
do anything about it.
And man,
I started to not like the kid.
Was that the kid's fault
ultimately?
Yes,
the kid has a fault
for kicking.
He shouldn't kick.
But this is a little kid.
His dad was teaching him
it was okay
because he'd never do anything
when this kid would walk up
and kick me.
Right?
We need to teach our kids
to respect other kids.
It's order.
You're bringing order
in your home.
Okay?
You have husbands
who say,
man,
my wife's always so overwhelmed
when I get home.
What are you doing
to lead and to bring order
in that home?
How are you setting up
systems and things
in place
so that there can be order?
Lastly,
practical yourself.
Bring order to your
sex life,
your sexual desires
and rightly ordering them.
Bring order to your feelings.
Right?
It's just like,
I'm going to let my feelings rule me.
I'm going to put them
in right order.
Bring order to your finances.
Finances can really
unsettle a home
and bring a lot of disorder.
And it means that you're going to have
to say no to stuff.
Gina,
I've been talking about this
a lot lately.
Nowadays,
everybody wants,
thinks that they can have everything.
Like,
I can just,
I can,
they look at other people
and they say,
well,
they have it
so I can have it.
They have this,
I can have that.
And we never want to say no
to anything.
Well,
to bring order,
you have to say no
to certain things,
especially with finances.
Especially with finances.
You know how often it is
that people end up
getting in financial vines
where something happens,
it's an emergency
and a big ticket item
can't be purchased.
And you know what the reason is
why they need help
in that moment?
It's because they didn't say no
to the little things
over the course
of the year before.
And so they don't have
anything in savings.
They weren't planning ahead
for something that could happen
like a car breaking down.
Which happens often,
trust me.
I've dealt with so many people
who've had broken down cars
and it's always interesting
to see how people prepare.
Now I get things happen
that are out of control
and we all need help on that.
I've needed help on that.
Other people have.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about
when those things happen
and they could have been prevented
but we didn't say no
to things that we wanted
for a long time
so that we weren't prepared
to deal with the emergency situation
that comes up.
That's because our finances
are out of order.
That's because our finances
are out of order.
And a lot of times
we don't think of that
because we think,
oh,
I was living within my means
all that time.
Yeah,
but you weren't thinking
about the future at all.
Did you think
that your vehicle
was going to last forever?
Did you think
that your kids
weren't going to eat more?
You know,
did you think
that something in your house
that you bought
wasn't going to break?
Like,
these things happen
and so we have to say no
to things.
Sometimes we have to work jobs
we don't want to work.
Well,
I really like this job.
Well,
so what?
Your job doesn't pay enough.
You need to get a different job.
Like,
we have to say no
to some things sometimes.
Right?
And just say,
I mean,
I've had to do that
multiple times.
So many times
I've had conversations
with bosses
who talk about pay
and I'm just like,
hey,
listen,
this honestly has nothing
to do with you or me.
This has to do with the fact
that I have this many kids.
I have this house payment.
This is my budget
and if you can't pay me
the amount that I need,
this has,
this is,
there's nothing personal
about this
and it has nothing
to do with this job.
I have to pay my bills.
I mean,
I would say that
to my bosses.
I'm like,
trust me,
I actually like working here.
I would love to keep working here
but if you can't pay me more,
I'm out of here
because like,
if this,
our relationship
is totally based on
me doing a service
for you
and you paying me
and if the amount
you pay me
isn't more than my expenses,
we got a problem
and it's not personal.
It's not personal.
It's just reality
because like people would,
bosses would try
to pull this stuff
like,
oh,
we're doing everything
we can.
I'm like,
listen,
that's fine
but what you're doing
isn't enough
and so you're either
telling me
you want me to go
find another job
because I need more money
or you're going to
make something happen.
That's really what
this is about.
This is a business
relationship.
So let's just figure this out
because that's why
I work here,
to pay my bills
and to have a little extra
so I can save
for an emergency
and so don't make it personal.
We need to get
our finances order.
We need to get
our life in order
in a personal way
by our maturity,
by growing in maturity,
not staying a child
in specific areas,
by being consistent,
sometimes by leaving money
on the table
for other priorities.
Sometimes the temptation
isn't to live
beyond our means,
sometimes the temptation
is all the opportunities
to make more money
when it would take time
away from the things
that we need to bring
order and leadership
to in our families.
Sometimes you've got
to leave money
on the table
to bring order
to your life
and to your family.
You need to look
for these things.
In conclusion,
what's your plan?
What's your plan
to bring order?
If you know
that there's a particular
area where you need
to bring order
in your life,
what's your plan?
Okay?
Do your brothers
and sisters know your plan?
Does your spouse
know your plan?
Is it clear?
Is it realistic?
Has it been tested?
What's your plan?
Let's get into order.
I close with 2 Timothy 2,
20 to 21.
Now in a great house,
which are not only
vessels of gold
and silver,
but also of wood
and clay.
Some for honorable use,
some for dishonorable.
Therefore,
if anyone cleanses
himself from what
is dishonorable,
he will be a vessel
for honorable use,
set apart as holy,
useful to the master
of the house,
ready for every good work.
The way we become
vessels of honor
is bringing our homes,
our households,
our lives into order.
Amen?
Let's be vessels of honor
that God wants us to be.
I'm going to close in prayer
and we'll close
with a song or two.
And we'll close in prayer