WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.759 All right. 00:00:04.759 --> 00:00:09.880 We're working through Mark's Gospel and today as you saw in Mark 10, it's a passage about 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.519 divorce and marriage. 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:17.920 Marriage and divorce are controversial subjects, yeah, in our day and they were controversial 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:20.160 we see in Jesus's day. 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:21.719 There's a controversy here. 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:26.519 There's a big claim that Jesus is making, which is really the center of this passage. 00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:33.079 And he's really just simply saying the Bible, God gets to say what marriage is and what 00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:35.119 marriage is for. 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:37.320 And so some of you today are married. 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:40.840 Some of you today are not married. 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:44.399 No matter where you are in life, whether you're married or not married, whether you want to 00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:50.600 be married or you don't, it's very helpful to think about the meaning of marriage because 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.120 the Bible actually makes this enormous claim that the meaning of marriage is also the meaning 00:00:54.120 --> 00:00:56.239 of world history. 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:59.520 And so it's really important to think about it no matter what your relationship status 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:01.320 is at the moment in life. 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:03.719 So let's think about it together. 00:01:03.719 --> 00:01:09.120 We're going to look at the problem with marriage and then the heart of marriage and then lastly 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:11.400 the power we need for it. 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:18.120 So the problem with it, the heart of it and the power we need to sustain good marriage. 00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:20.800 So first, the problem with marriage. 00:01:20.800 --> 00:01:24.040 Now let me just say what the problem is up front. 00:01:24.040 --> 00:01:28.560 It's right here in the Pharisees question, but the problem is this for them and for us. 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:35.880 The problem is that we approach marriage as human beings with a posture of self-interest 00:01:35.880 --> 00:01:38.160 and self-centeredness. 00:01:38.160 --> 00:01:41.400 That's the problem, self-centeredness. 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:45.960 And that's both instinctive to humanity and it's also something that we're taught by the 00:01:45.960 --> 00:01:47.920 culture all around us. 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:50.440 Now that's what happens right here in this passage. 00:01:50.439 --> 00:01:56.319 You can see in verse one and two, Jesus is in the region of Judea, beyond the Jordan, 00:01:56.319 --> 00:02:01.459 and he's teaching and it says it was as custom to preach. 00:02:01.459 --> 00:02:07.239 But Mark doesn't give us a single word at all about what Jesus was preaching about. 00:02:07.239 --> 00:02:09.800 Mark takes us straight to the Q and A time. 00:02:09.800 --> 00:02:13.280 So Mark likes the Q and A and he takes us straight to the Q and A and at the beginning 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:17.000 of the Q and A, the Pharisees come up with the first question and the first question 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:20.599 they ask is, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:23.080 They say that they're in verse two. 00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:27.400 Now there is an implication in this question. 00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:30.000 There's a lot of background to this question. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.800 There's a reason why they're the first one to lift their hands in the Q and A and ask 00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:34.439 this question. 00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:41.319 And it's because in the first century, there was an oral tradition that had developed and 00:02:41.319 --> 00:02:45.120 that oral tradition would later be written down in a book called the Mishnah. 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:50.520 The Mishnah is a book that catalogs Jewish oral teaching from the time and the Mishnah 00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:53.319 has a lot of text about divorce. 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:58.960 And in it, there was a rabbi named Hillel who said the only time you can get a divorce 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:03.860 is if he said a woman commits adultery. 00:03:03.860 --> 00:03:10.200 And then there was another rabbi, Rabbi Hillel who said, sorry, the first one was Shamiah. 00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:17.879 The second one, Rabbi Hillel says that you can get a divorce if your wife spoils a dish. 00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:22.679 So he says if your wife cooks a bad meal, they read this very seriously, that is grounds 00:03:22.679 --> 00:03:23.679 for divorce. 00:03:23.679 --> 00:03:24.679 All right. 00:03:24.679 --> 00:03:31.719 Thirdly, Rabbi Akiba says you can get a divorce if you find another fairer than she. 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:32.719 That's what the Mishnah says. 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:37.679 Okay, so there was a right, a left and even further left on this. 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:41.920 There was one who said only adultery, one who said, well, a burnt dinner. 00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:47.719 And then there was one who said, just if you just want to get out and pursue somebody else, 00:03:47.719 --> 00:03:48.760 then that's fairer game. 00:03:48.760 --> 00:03:51.360 Now you see the implication and the question. 00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:57.040 We have a parallel passage in Matthew 19 verse three, and they say it like this, is it lawful 00:03:57.040 --> 00:04:01.000 to get a divorce for any reason at all? 00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:02.000 That's what they're asking. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:06.120 It's not just, does Moses, does the law allow for divorce? 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:11.960 They're saying, can we get a divorce for any reason whatsoever, including a burnt dinner? 00:04:11.960 --> 00:04:14.560 That's the actual implication of the question. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:19.519 Now you may notice that this is entirely from the perspective of men. 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:20.800 That's the way they frame it. 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:23.959 That's the way the rabbis had talked about it. 00:04:23.959 --> 00:04:29.240 It's a culture where women depended on men almost exclusively for their livelihood. 00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:33.480 And the Pharisees, some of the Pharisees at least are asking this because they want to 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:37.120 guarantee that men can do what they want. 00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:40.600 Men can get out if they want to get out, and they can live the way they want and do what 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:41.600 they want. 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:47.280 And they're looking for the Bible and for this rabbi Jesus to justify that picture. 00:04:47.280 --> 00:04:48.280 You see? 00:04:48.280 --> 00:04:49.280 So it's a test. 00:04:49.280 --> 00:04:51.680 It's not only a test, it's also a trap. 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:53.520 Here's the trap. 00:04:53.520 --> 00:04:57.160 This is the region of King Herod. 00:04:57.160 --> 00:05:03.400 And if you were with us last semester, you'll remember that Herod had gotten a divorce and 00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:08.519 he had married his brother's wife Herodius, and it was a big mess. 00:05:08.519 --> 00:05:13.439 And part of that mess was that Herod had had his brother killed to ensure that this divorce 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:20.399 worked out and had married, and he had divorced his own wife and then married Herodius. 00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:25.319 And now you'll remember that what happened was John the Baptist protested, and he got 00:05:25.319 --> 00:05:27.479 his head cut off for that. 00:05:27.479 --> 00:05:28.639 And so here's the trap. 00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:30.439 They're in the region of Herod. 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:32.639 And the Pharisees are doing... 00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:36.079 This is a two birds, one stone situation. 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:41.560 Can we get Jesus to justify divorce no matter what so the men of our city can be free to 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:43.000 do whatever they want? 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:44.000 On the one hand. 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:50.199 On the other hand, maybe if he goes the other way, Herod is going to chop his head off too. 00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:51.199 So it's a trap. 00:05:51.199 --> 00:05:53.360 It's a test and a trap. 00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:59.319 The problem underneath the question is that what Jesus does with us is he shows that this 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:02.360 is not about divorce at all. 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:08.720 The real issue is that the Pharisees do not understand the nature of marriage. 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:09.720 That's what they've missed. 00:06:09.720 --> 00:06:11.520 They've come and they've asked the wrong question. 00:06:11.520 --> 00:06:13.040 They started the wrong way. 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:15.319 They don't understand the nature of marriage. 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:17.280 What marriage is for? 00:06:17.280 --> 00:06:21.920 And you can see that because in the first century, the way they think about marriage 00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:27.960 is that marriage exists for benefits, particularly in their mind, benefits for the men. 00:06:27.959 --> 00:06:34.959 So they're thinking of marriage as a relationship in which you can extend your family lineage, 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:40.639 have sons and daughters, but particularly they desire sons to carry on the name. 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:44.359 And they want marriage to improve their station in life. 00:06:44.359 --> 00:06:49.639 And once you get those things, or if you don't get those things, you need to ensure that 00:06:49.639 --> 00:06:52.240 you're able to walk. 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:57.199 And so they have an economic market mindset for how marriage works. 00:06:57.199 --> 00:06:58.959 I come to get, not to give. 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:01.439 I come to get the benefits from this person. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:05.000 And if they don't provide them for me, I'll go. 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:11.120 Now we look at that especially because it's so male-centric, their perspective, and we 00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:15.120 say, wow, how terrible. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:19.000 And let me ask you, modern person, what has changed? 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.399 What has changed? 00:07:21.399 --> 00:07:28.239 The modern world, the city of Edinburgh and the culture all around us says almost, almost 00:07:28.239 --> 00:07:30.759 the exact same thing about marriage. 00:07:30.759 --> 00:07:34.279 There are really two views of marriage in the modern West. 00:07:34.279 --> 00:07:37.839 One is the idealist pessimist view. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:41.879 And in the idealist pessimist view, it says, you know, if I'm going to get married, it's 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:45.839 only because I fell in love. 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:47.879 I found my soulmate. 00:07:47.879 --> 00:07:50.679 I found the one, the one person. 00:07:50.680 --> 00:07:53.400 And, you know, that's the idealism of it. 00:07:53.400 --> 00:07:54.400 I fell in love. 00:07:54.400 --> 00:07:59.360 You know, I fell in love like I fell in a hole. 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:04.280 And the pessimist side of it is, but I also know that probably in three to four years, 00:08:04.280 --> 00:08:06.920 I'm going to fall out of love. 00:08:06.920 --> 00:08:13.000 And when that happens, I need to be able to know that both parties, we get until we don't. 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.720 And when we don't get any more, we can move on. 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:17.720 That's the idealist pessimist view. 00:08:17.720 --> 00:08:18.720 It's the soulmate view. 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:24.040 The idealist is Disney-fied, and yet at the same time, it's incredibly pessimistic because 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:28.920 it knows that eventually you're going to fall out of love as well. 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:31.080 And they're right about that. 00:08:31.080 --> 00:08:35.960 The second view is the less idealist, but more practical benefit approach. 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:39.720 This is the one that's a tale, the tale is all this time, same as the Pharisees. 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:44.879 I come to marriage to get benefits, improvements to my life. 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:47.440 And so it says, you know, here's the extreme view. 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:53.120 Marry, you know, marry somebody that's 99 years old with millions of pounds. 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.920 That's the extreme version of it. 00:08:54.920 --> 00:09:00.840 But it's just an extreme version of the same view that says, I'm looking for somebody in 00:09:00.840 --> 00:09:03.360 life that benefits me. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:07.040 You know, I'm looking for somebody in life that improves my station. 00:09:07.040 --> 00:09:10.040 So this person raises my economic profile. 00:09:10.040 --> 00:09:12.480 They're probably going to make a lot of money. 00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:15.840 This person brings me into a new circle of friendship. 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:21.160 I can expand my relational capital with this person that I'm pursuing. 00:09:21.160 --> 00:09:23.440 This person provides sexual fulfillment. 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:24.759 And that's why I want to get married. 00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:29.560 You know, it's a marketplace mentality that says, I'm looking for a spouse because I'm 00:09:29.560 --> 00:09:31.600 looking for these certain benefits. 00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:34.759 And so I go to the marketplace and I treat it like a market. 00:09:34.759 --> 00:09:39.360 And I say, I'm looking for a good person with good prospects, with good looks that can make 00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:43.320 me happy, self-actualization. 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:48.040 Now that means that the essence of marriage in the Pharisees' mind and the essence of 00:09:48.040 --> 00:09:51.200 marriage in the modern mind is very, very similar. 00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:54.760 And that's that basically marriage is just a contract. 00:09:54.760 --> 00:09:55.760 It's a contract. 00:09:55.760 --> 00:09:59.560 It's the same kind of contract that you have in any marketplace exchange. 00:09:59.560 --> 00:10:04.680 And in a contract, it's two parties and they come and it's a negotiation. 00:10:04.680 --> 00:10:11.080 And they say, you know, if you can give me what I want at the right price, then I'm in. 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:15.360 And if there comes a time where I can't get what I need from you and want from you, the 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:18.200 price isn't right anymore than the contract's ripped apart. 00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:19.200 It's broken. 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:20.200 Right? 00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:25.120 That's the modern view of marriage and it's actually the ancient view of marriage. 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.960 And that tells us that it's not only our culture that teaches us that, though it's worse than 00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:32.280 ever, but it's just human instinct. 00:10:32.280 --> 00:10:36.240 You see, the great problem of marriage is self-centeredness. 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:41.360 And it's approaching marriage with a self-centered view that I'm here to get, not to give. 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:44.440 It's a contract mentality and it's been around forever. 00:10:44.440 --> 00:10:48.440 It's been around as long as sin since Genesis 3. 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:49.440 Right? 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:51.039 And it's right here. 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:52.639 You can take it even a step further. 00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:57.440 People will say, you know, it's not just a pre-nump mentality and economic mentality. 00:10:57.440 --> 00:11:02.720 It's the mentality, why get married at all in the modern world? 00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:06.639 Why do I need a piece of paper to say to somebody, I love you? 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:07.639 Right? 00:11:07.639 --> 00:11:08.639 That's the mentality. 00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:10.840 In other words, you know, exactly. 00:11:10.840 --> 00:11:12.240 We can have mutual benefits. 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:13.240 We can share. 00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:14.240 We can be in love. 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:18.920 And then when we fall out of love, why complicate it and make it even harder with the legal 00:11:18.920 --> 00:11:19.920 piece of paper? 00:11:19.920 --> 00:11:20.920 Right? 00:11:20.920 --> 00:11:23.720 It's a market mentality and economic mentality. 00:11:23.720 --> 00:11:31.720 Now what Jesus is going to do here is say that you Pharisees, you human, you miss the 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:41.639 beauty of marriage in the question because you miss the difficulty and the pain of marriage. 00:11:41.639 --> 00:11:46.560 In other words, when you look across the Bible at what marriage is, you learn that ever since 00:11:46.560 --> 00:11:54.120 sin entered the world that marriage exists in some sense to break you, to break you. 00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:58.840 Not to fulfill all your greatest dreams, but actually to break you down in a way. 00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:04.240 And what I mean by that is that marriage is so much more glorious than the Pharisees and 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:09.480 the modern mind wants to admit because of how difficult it really is. 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:14.580 And the idea in the Bible is that marriage is not meant to primarily lift up your circumstances 00:12:14.580 --> 00:12:22.399 to make you temporarily happy, but to show you self-centeredness in order to make you 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:27.480 godly, that you could have the possibility in such a deep relationship that you would 00:12:27.480 --> 00:12:32.759 be cut to the heart of your self-centeredness so that you could become holy, so that you 00:12:32.759 --> 00:12:33.759 could become godly. 00:12:33.759 --> 00:12:35.879 See, it's completely flipped on its head. 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:37.279 That's the actual beauty of marriage. 00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:44.879 Now if you've been married for any amount of time, you know that this has got to be 00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:50.720 the heart of it because three months in after the honeymoon, you're standing in the kitchen 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:55.440 and you realize that you've argued about the same thing every single week over the first 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:56.800 three months of your marriage. 00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:00.319 And then in 10 years, you're standing in the kitchen and you realize you've argued about 00:13:00.319 --> 00:13:05.599 the same thing every single month for the last 10 years of your marriage. 00:13:05.599 --> 00:13:08.559 And in the first three months, you've looked at your spouse and you said, you know, you're 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:10.439 selfish. 00:13:10.439 --> 00:13:13.479 And your spouse looked at you and said, you're selfish. 00:13:13.479 --> 00:13:14.919 And he said, no, you're more selfish than me. 00:13:14.919 --> 00:13:16.479 And they say, no, you're more selfish than me. 00:13:16.479 --> 00:13:21.519 And you realize that you're both selfish, you're both self-centered, and it keeps happening 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:24.199 over and over and over again. 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.080 And in the midst of those arguments, in the midst of those depths, the beauty of marriage 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:32.960 is meant to say, don't you see that this exists to expose? 00:13:32.960 --> 00:13:34.160 It exists to change you. 00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:38.000 It exists to make you great in a way you might could have never been. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:42.200 You could have never seen who you really were deep down in your heart, your self-centeredness. 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:48.080 You see, the great enemy of marriage is self-centeredness, but the path to becoming a true, the path 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:56.120 to putting on the character of true godliness is cutting right through that self-centeredness. 00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:58.280 And marriage can really do that. 00:13:58.280 --> 00:13:59.759 It can really help with that. 00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:03.879 Now Jesus here, and we'll move on, shows this. 00:14:03.879 --> 00:14:08.160 He cuts through the trap by pointing out to them the law. 00:14:08.160 --> 00:14:10.560 He knows that they're thinking about the law. 00:14:10.560 --> 00:14:14.000 And so he takes them straight to Deuteronomy 24. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.800 In Deuteronomy 24, Moses permits divorce. 00:14:17.799 --> 00:14:22.399 In Deuteronomy 24, he says divorce is permitted on the grounds of adultery. 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.279 Christians have looked across the Bible for centuries and said that the Bible permits 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:32.159 divorce and sometimes divorce is necessary on the grounds of adultery, abandonment, and 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:33.799 abuse. 00:14:33.799 --> 00:14:37.639 And each situation has to be really carefully thought about and discerned. 00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:41.159 But he goes to the law and he says, what did Moses say? 00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:42.719 He says, okay, you've read the law. 00:14:42.719 --> 00:14:45.319 Why are you asking me this question? 00:14:45.320 --> 00:14:49.080 In other words, he's trying to get them to see that they've come to him and asked him 00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:52.040 the wrong question exactly. 00:14:52.040 --> 00:14:55.840 The first question they came to ask is, how can I get out of marriage? 00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:59.200 How can I end this thing as fast as possible if I want to? 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:04.560 And he goes to the law to say first, you already know the conditions of divorce, but that's 00:15:04.560 --> 00:15:06.360 not why you're asking it. 00:15:06.360 --> 00:15:07.840 You see? 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:15.160 One commentator says, it's a bit like saying, I want to learn to fly a plane. 00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:21.079 And starting out with the instructor and say, okay, first teach me the best way to crash. 00:15:21.079 --> 00:15:23.360 What's the safest possible way to crash this thing? 00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:24.360 That's question number one. 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:25.639 That's the wrong approach. 00:15:25.639 --> 00:15:27.000 That's the wrong approach. 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:28.000 That's exactly the opposite. 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:29.559 And he said, that's what you've done. 00:15:29.559 --> 00:15:33.480 You've come to me and asked, how can I get out of this as fast as possible? 00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:39.159 And instead, you should have come to me and said, what is marriage? 00:15:39.159 --> 00:15:40.839 What is it for? 00:15:40.840 --> 00:15:45.320 And so he takes them point to away from the law. 00:15:45.320 --> 00:15:49.720 He takes them away from the law and he takes them straight back to Genesis chapter one 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:50.720 and two. 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:55.240 So you see that verse five, he says, Moses allowed divorce because of your hardness of 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:56.540 heart. 00:15:56.540 --> 00:16:02.840 Sometimes divorce is necessary, but then he says, but from the beginning of creation. 00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:06.440 So he says, actually, if you want to know what marriage is, you've got to get out of 00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:12.560 the Torah, the law, and step back before the law and look at Genesis chapter one and two. 00:16:12.560 --> 00:16:14.040 And so that's what he does. 00:16:14.040 --> 00:16:19.240 And he gives us three very brief things that marriage is, what it's for. 00:16:19.240 --> 00:16:22.400 And you can see it first in verse six. 00:16:22.400 --> 00:16:29.040 He says here in verse six, first, marriage is from the beginning. 00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:38.360 Just from the beginning, meaning marriage is a pre-sin, pre-fall, pre-evil institution 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:42.679 that God created, not man, not humanity. 00:16:42.679 --> 00:16:48.839 So in other words, he's trying to say, look, modern person, marriage is not something that 00:16:48.839 --> 00:16:53.519 a bunch of Neanderthals in a cave came up with and said, you know, how can we advance 00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:54.519 society? 00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:56.519 Well, why don't we create this monogamous union? 00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:58.559 No, no. 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:00.839 Marriage exists because God made it. 00:17:00.839 --> 00:17:01.839 So that's the first thing he says. 00:17:01.839 --> 00:17:03.079 It's from the beginning. 00:17:03.079 --> 00:17:05.200 And that means that God gets to define it. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:06.919 It's no mere custom. 00:17:06.919 --> 00:17:08.399 It's no mere culture. 00:17:08.399 --> 00:17:12.799 It's something that's given prior to all sin, meaning God gets the prerogative and getting 00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.799 to say what it is. 00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:15.119 That's the first thing he does. 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:20.319 The second thing he does is he moves from there in Sezem verse six. 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:26.679 It's from the beginning and, quote, God made them male and female. 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.640 That's the second thing he takes from Genesis two. 00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:34.920 In other words, he's saying marriage is for men and women. 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:37.519 Now marriage is for a man and a woman. 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:43.320 Now obviously, that's very important to say in our time that God made marriage for a 00:17:43.320 --> 00:17:45.320 man and a woman. 00:17:45.320 --> 00:17:49.640 But why does Jesus say it in Mark 10? 00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:51.480 Because he was actually responding to a different problem. 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:56.640 He was responding to the problem of the Pharisees perspective, which was a completely male-dominated 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:57.640 perspective. 00:17:57.640 --> 00:17:59.640 That's the way they treated it. 00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:04.600 And one scholar says it like this, that when Jesus says, don't you remember marriage is 00:18:04.600 --> 00:18:07.280 for men and women, women and men? 00:18:07.280 --> 00:18:14.440 He's saying as a sovereign creation, woman is not man's subject, but his equal. 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:19.280 He's saying you're treating marriage as if women are men's subjects. 00:18:19.280 --> 00:18:21.960 But he said that's not what Genesis two said. 00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:25.840 Don't you remember, you need to get out of the law and go back before it and remember 00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:27.379 how it was from the beginning. 00:18:27.379 --> 00:18:29.279 Marriage is meant to be for both equally. 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:31.879 It's good for man and woman. 00:18:31.879 --> 00:18:34.839 Now here's where he brings the revolution in. 00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:35.839 And it's in verse seven. 00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:38.839 Here's the revolution to first century marriage. 00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:43.319 He says that means that a man and a woman are to leave their parents and hold fast to 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.759 one another, unite into one another. 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.919 Now remember what God said? 00:18:47.919 --> 00:18:50.679 Why did God start marriage in Genesis two? 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:56.120 It said Adam, Adam, Adam was lonely. 00:18:56.120 --> 00:18:59.160 So one thing at the beginning of history was not good. 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:00.279 All of creation was good. 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:01.759 One thing was not good. 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:07.000 And it was that a man, a dom, Adam should be by himself, should be alone. 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:12.000 And so immediately we learned that the meaning of marriage at the very beginning was that 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:16.519 Adam was lonely and so God gave him a wife. 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:21.119 And that means that the great revolution of marriage, the biblical idea, is that marriage 00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:26.400 is meant for companionship. 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:31.680 Jesus is in a society where the male dominated perspective says marriage exists to advance 00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:36.240 my station, to give me kids, to carry on my family name. 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:40.960 And Jesus comes and says, you've forgotten Genesis two, actually marriage exists for 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:43.680 friendship. 00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:44.960 And that's a revolutionary idea. 00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:49.200 He said, actually the greatest thing you can do is actually be best of friends with your 00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:52.200 wife, Pharisee. 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:58.160 Desire deep, deep lasting companionship with your spouse. 00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:03.160 And so immediately, no matter what the culture says, no matter what the culture says, men 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:07.600 were made for women and women were made for men for deep lasting companionship. 00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:15.319 So as soon as it says that Adam was lonely, we don't get a group of dudes, buddies. 00:20:15.319 --> 00:20:16.319 That's not what we get. 00:20:16.319 --> 00:20:18.879 He doesn't need his buddies, although buddies are very good. 00:20:18.879 --> 00:20:20.279 I love buddies. 00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:22.679 No, he gets her. 00:20:22.679 --> 00:20:24.480 He gets a wife. 00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:28.919 She is to be his closest friend, his closest companion. 00:20:28.919 --> 00:20:34.639 And so there's a revolutionary idea here that a spouse is to be your dearest friend, your 00:20:34.639 --> 00:20:36.919 closest companion. 00:20:36.920 --> 00:20:41.320 And so today we can see friendship. 00:20:41.320 --> 00:20:42.320 Friendship. 00:20:42.320 --> 00:20:47.800 Are you a Christian today looking to be married? 00:20:47.800 --> 00:20:56.519 Friendship with a Christian of the opposite sex is the most important condition. 00:20:56.519 --> 00:21:01.519 Your physical relationship, that person's looks will not sustain your marriage. 00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:02.519 Friendship will. 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:03.680 Companionship. 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.880 That's what marriage was made to be. 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:11.440 But no matter what the culture says, men were made for women and women were made for men 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:14.120 and we're not mere individuals. 00:21:14.120 --> 00:21:16.000 We were made for one another. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:20.640 And so if you're looking for marriage, look for a dear Christian friend of the opposite 00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:21.640 sex. 00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:22.840 That's one of the most important conditions. 00:21:22.840 --> 00:21:26.440 It's not the only one, but it's one of the most important. 00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:27.640 Are you married today? 00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:30.440 Oh boy, it's hitting us all. 00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:32.060 It's hitting me, it's hitting us all. 00:21:32.060 --> 00:21:36.480 Are you cultivating deep companionship with your spouse? 00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.360 Are you pursuing deep friendship? 00:21:38.360 --> 00:21:40.920 Is your spouse your best friend? 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:45.640 And that's where Jesus takes them all the way back to the beginning. 00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:48.079 The modern person says, should we get married? 00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:50.039 Should I get married? 00:21:50.039 --> 00:21:52.360 And they ask questions like, their friend asked them a question. 00:21:52.360 --> 00:21:56.079 Well, is there chemistry between you and this person you're pursuing? 00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:58.759 Is there chemistry? 00:21:58.759 --> 00:22:00.799 Is there magnetism? 00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:04.519 Is this the person that you think you're falling in love with? 00:22:04.519 --> 00:22:07.160 Is this really the one? 00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:12.480 And the big miss on that is that what's happening there is you're not actually falling in love, 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:14.960 you're falling into like. 00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:19.319 And one day you're going to say, I fell out of love, but actually just fell out of like. 00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:21.720 You like the person, you don't love the person. 00:22:21.720 --> 00:22:24.359 That's what's actually happening in the beginning of a relationship. 00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:30.319 And what you realize then later is that the biblical idea is that love is not first a feeling. 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:31.319 Love is not a feeling. 00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:35.279 So feelings of love will not sustain a marriage. 00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:40.279 And you realize very quickly in the marriage that you had fallen into like with this person, 00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:43.000 but you're just now learning to love this person. 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:48.919 I had a dear friend when I was in seminary who was 10, 15 years older than me that had 00:22:48.919 --> 00:22:54.919 been married for a long time say that 10 years in, he had just started to learn to love his 00:22:54.919 --> 00:22:58.799 spouse truly, deeply. 00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:01.200 And he said, and they both felt that way. 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.200 And that's the truth. 00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:08.440 You see, real love, the feelings of love actually follow the choice of love. 00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:12.640 When you've chosen to love, feelings come after that. 00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:14.080 And Jesus flips everything on its head. 00:23:14.080 --> 00:23:16.360 It's not about how you feel. 00:23:16.360 --> 00:23:19.400 It's about deep lasting friendship and companionship. 00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:20.400 That's more fundamental. 00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:25.279 Now the third thing, the last thing here that he teaches us, he says again, verse seven, 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:28.519 the two shall become one flesh. 00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:34.200 You shall leave your father and mother and you'll cling to your spouse, leave and cleave. 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:36.359 That's the old way to say it. 00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:40.559 You've got to leave your parents, cleave, unite to your spouse. 00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:46.599 And so what he's saying there lastly is that marriage is a covenant. 00:23:46.599 --> 00:23:49.799 The essence of marriage is not a contract. 00:23:49.799 --> 00:23:56.440 It's not a negotiation for mutual benefit until it doesn't work anymore, but a covenant. 00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:00.320 And in a covenant, a covenant is just this, a promise. 00:24:00.320 --> 00:24:06.320 A covenant is a promise to pursue your spouse in self-sacrifice. 00:24:06.320 --> 00:24:11.240 That's the nature of the marriage covenant, to pursue your spouse in the nature according 00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:15.200 to self-sacrifice, not self-centeredness. 00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:22.920 It's to say, I'm here for mutual submission in order to give before I get, to give away 00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.799 before I get something back. 00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:30.440 And that means simply Christian marriage. 00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:33.759 Anybody can have a great marriage, Christian or not, but a Christian marriage can be truly 00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:34.759 great. 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:40.000 A Christian marriage can be truly great because in a Christian marriage, you can realize that 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.720 the great purpose of marriage in covenant is to pursue your spouse through self-sacrifice 00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:54.279 until they reach the final perfection of godliness in the glorification of their death. 00:24:54.279 --> 00:25:02.039 Real marriage is to pursue the holiness of your spouse until they leave this world. 00:25:02.039 --> 00:25:06.759 Christianity tells you actually the meaning of marriage all the way to the bottom. 00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:12.639 When you get that, when we get that, the moments in our marriages where we finally awaken to 00:25:12.639 --> 00:25:17.119 that or come back to that, there's something really beautiful that starts to take place, 00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:21.960 mutual self-sacrifice, mutual giving instead of getting. 00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:28.319 And in that, what you get is your self-centeredness broken and real holiness starting to grow 00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:29.600 up in the midst of it. 00:25:29.600 --> 00:25:35.319 Now, let me move on to the final point, but let me say before that the idea then to say 00:25:35.319 --> 00:25:39.279 in the modern world, I don't need a piece of paper. 00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:43.600 You're considering getting married, modern person, and maybe you've had the thought, 00:25:43.600 --> 00:25:49.799 I don't need a piece of paper, a legal binding piece of paper to say, I love you. 00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:50.799 I can say I love you. 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:51.920 I can be in love with you. 00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:53.480 We can do this without that. 00:25:53.480 --> 00:26:00.680 Let me say to truly say I love you, you really do need that piece of paper. 00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:02.360 You really do. 00:26:02.360 --> 00:26:09.759 And the reason is because without that piece of paper, what you're really saying is today 00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:11.600 I like you. 00:26:11.600 --> 00:26:13.960 Today I like you. 00:26:13.960 --> 00:26:15.800 But tomorrow I might not. 00:26:15.800 --> 00:26:17.920 Tomorrow you won't. 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:19.120 And you see what a wedding vow does? 00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:23.599 A wedding vow is not a promise. 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.719 Is not a promise of present love or present like. 00:26:26.719 --> 00:26:27.719 Not at all. 00:26:27.719 --> 00:26:33.119 You know, when a couple is standing up for their wedding and they make those vows to 00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:38.319 one another, everybody in the room knows they love each other right now. 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:40.639 They like each other right now. 00:26:40.639 --> 00:26:43.439 They're enmeshed with one another today. 00:26:43.439 --> 00:26:44.479 But what do the vows say? 00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:52.759 The vows say in plenty, today is plenty, but in want tomorrow. 00:26:52.759 --> 00:26:57.160 In health, today we're healthy, but when sickness comes. 00:26:57.160 --> 00:27:02.400 Today I don't see your self-centeredness and you don't see mine. 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:03.400 But it's coming. 00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:04.400 It's coming. 00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:05.400 It's going to get exposed. 00:27:05.400 --> 00:27:09.000 You see, the vow, the marriage vow is not the promise of present love. 00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:10.000 It's the promise. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.360 It's the covenant of future love. 00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:15.799 And future love says, and I'm here today to say that I will be with you and for you and 00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:21.719 give myself away to you, even in the most trying of times, even in the days we don't 00:27:21.719 --> 00:27:22.719 like each other very much. 00:27:22.719 --> 00:27:24.039 I will love you anyway. 00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:25.039 I'll commit to you. 00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:31.479 That's why that piece of paper, marriage, is so different than mere relationship. 00:27:31.479 --> 00:27:34.839 Now thirdly and finally, how can you get the power for it? 00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:38.000 Oh, oh boy. 00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:41.639 Where, where are we going to get the strength? 00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:44.200 Where do we get the power for this? 00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:50.440 At the very end of this passage, verses 13 to 16, there's this second little story about 00:27:50.440 --> 00:27:53.120 the children coming to Jesus. 00:27:53.120 --> 00:27:56.600 You get married and often children can follow that. 00:27:56.600 --> 00:28:00.840 And here we have a passage about marriage and then a story about children. 00:28:00.840 --> 00:28:05.120 So first marriage, they come to Jesus, talk about marriage, then they come to Jesus with 00:28:05.120 --> 00:28:06.120 the kids, with the children. 00:28:06.120 --> 00:28:09.080 It's very interesting how Mark set that up. 00:28:09.079 --> 00:28:12.639 And that, I think that that means that reading a little bit about children here can help 00:28:12.639 --> 00:28:15.359 you think about the power you need for marriage. 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:16.439 And so this is very famous. 00:28:16.439 --> 00:28:20.240 We can only spend a couple minutes on it. 00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:24.439 But the children come to Jesus and the disciples shoe them away. 00:28:24.439 --> 00:28:28.240 The Pharisees completely misunderstand the meaning of marriage. 00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:32.359 The disciples completely misunderstand the meaning of children. 00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:33.679 They say, get the children out of here. 00:28:33.679 --> 00:28:35.839 They're not important enough. 00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:37.240 And you see it's the same mindset. 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:41.599 In the first century, children exist to work the farm. 00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:45.160 Children exist to be tolerated until adulthood. 00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:47.799 Children exist to carry on the family lineage. 00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:50.200 That's the mistake of the ancient mind. 00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:51.640 We have our own mistakes too. 00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:53.160 But that's the mistake of the ancient mind. 00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:54.160 It's the same thing. 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.480 Marriage exists for my benefits. 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:58.079 Children exist for my benefits. 00:28:58.079 --> 00:28:59.759 That was the mind of the disciples. 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:04.120 And so they say, they're not important enough yet to come to Jesus. 00:29:04.119 --> 00:29:08.279 And Jesus says, no, no, no, no, let the children come to me. 00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:13.000 And actually you need to take on the posture of these children if you're going to really 00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:15.479 understand the kingdom. 00:29:15.479 --> 00:29:17.839 Now people have come to that and said, well, what does he mean? 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:20.039 What is this childlike faith? 00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:21.239 Is it just dependence? 00:29:21.239 --> 00:29:26.239 Is it running to dad, mom and dad to ask for anything? 00:29:26.239 --> 00:29:32.359 And actually he uses a word here for babies and toddlers, not for older children. 00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:33.679 The word he uses. 00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:37.560 And that means that he's probably saying something more like, you need the condition 00:29:37.560 --> 00:29:40.120 of helplessness. 00:29:40.120 --> 00:29:45.120 If you're going to truly come and see the power you need to enter the kingdom, the power 00:29:45.120 --> 00:29:47.120 you need for a great marriage. 00:29:47.120 --> 00:29:49.039 And you see what he's saying, something like this. 00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:54.840 If we were to put the passages together, marriage drives you over and over and over again to 00:29:54.840 --> 00:30:00.320 say, I am helpless to do anything about my self-sitterness. 00:30:00.320 --> 00:30:02.000 And if marriage does anything, it does that. 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:09.440 You keep coming back to the same problems you struggle with and you say, I am helpless. 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:12.440 I can't break through my self-sitterness. 00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:17.039 And this relationship with this person is exposing that over and over and over again. 00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:19.240 Where are you going to get the power? 00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:21.680 Where are you going to get the power to cut through that? 00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:28.119 You need to see your helplessness and run to the lap, the arms of Jesus Christ. 00:30:28.119 --> 00:30:35.039 The power to sustain a great marriage is to run back again and again and again to Jesus 00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:39.159 Christ into his arms like a helpless child. 00:30:39.159 --> 00:30:42.439 Now let me close with this final comment. 00:30:42.439 --> 00:30:47.959 Remember the very first marriage, Genesis chapter 2, Adam married Eve. 00:30:47.959 --> 00:30:53.759 Adam had been told, Adam had been told, don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and 00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:54.759 evil. 00:30:54.759 --> 00:30:59.879 And remember in Genesis 3 that his wife Eve reached out and she ate. 00:30:59.879 --> 00:31:05.960 And Genesis 3 says, and he, Adam, was, quote, with her. 00:31:05.960 --> 00:31:07.680 He watched. 00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:08.920 He was next to her. 00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.559 He was the one who had received the instruction, do not eat. 00:31:12.559 --> 00:31:17.160 She ate, but the text gives you a subtle notice. 00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:21.400 Adam watched it happen and he let it happen. 00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:23.680 He was the one that heard the instruction, don't eat. 00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:28.120 He was the one that let her eat when she had not heard the instruction. 00:31:28.120 --> 00:31:29.960 That's the subtle message of the text. 00:31:29.960 --> 00:31:36.920 You see this husband, this great groom, the first groom, he let his wife fall. 00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:41.759 And as soon as God entered the Garden of Eden in cosmic justice to say, now you deserve 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:44.880 death, you deserve to be kicked out of the Garden of Eden and you're about to be, what 00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:46.160 did he do? 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.840 The very next word he speaks, she did it. 00:31:49.840 --> 00:31:52.720 Don't blame me though the text is blaming him. 00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:58.319 He was with her and the very next thing he does is says, the groom says, it's my wife's 00:31:58.319 --> 00:31:59.319 fault. 00:31:59.319 --> 00:32:01.120 Have you done that? 00:32:01.120 --> 00:32:04.039 Have you done that to your spouse? 00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:08.039 That's what happened in the very first marriage at the beginning of history. 00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:10.839 He knew he was wrong and he blamed her. 00:32:10.839 --> 00:32:16.079 Now there is a thread that runs through the whole Bible and it's a question. 00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:20.759 What should a great groom do for his bride? 00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:27.839 You know, what should a great groom, if Adam was really awake and he knew that the greatest 00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:34.440 cost of sin was to be kicked out of the presence of God, was to be separated from the maker, 00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:37.079 was to be inflicted with death. 00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:38.599 And that's what they were experiencing. 00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:43.400 They were hiding behind that rock saying he did it, she did it because they were so afraid 00:32:43.400 --> 00:32:45.879 of the consequences. 00:32:45.879 --> 00:32:49.599 What would a great groom do? 00:32:49.599 --> 00:33:00.039 He would say in the midst of the face of death and cosmic injustice, don't send her away. 00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:02.359 Take me, punish me. 00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:05.759 I was with her, I let it happen. 00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:07.839 I mistreated her in this. 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:12.879 He would say take my life and let hers be. 00:33:12.879 --> 00:33:15.079 That's what a great groom would do. 00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:16.079 What if? 00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:17.079 That's the question of the whole Bible. 00:33:17.079 --> 00:33:22.399 What would it look like to have a groom that would come and stand in the place of sin and 00:33:22.399 --> 00:33:23.399 death for us? 00:33:23.399 --> 00:33:26.240 And let me tell you, what if there was a second Adam? 00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:28.720 What if there was a better husband? 00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:33.839 A better husband who was cosmically coming for all of history to save his ultimate bride. 00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:38.839 No matter what she had done, men and women, that's you, you're the bride. 00:33:38.839 --> 00:33:41.240 There is, he has. 00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:45.939 Jesus Christ, Ephesians 5, he is the meaning of marriage. 00:33:45.940 --> 00:33:48.279 He came to show you what marriage is for. 00:33:48.279 --> 00:33:55.000 And in Ephesians 5 it says, husband and wife submit to one another as Christ came. 00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:56.000 As Christ came. 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:59.320 He says the power for your marriage is actually to look and see that you have the groom that 00:33:59.320 --> 00:34:05.440 Adam never was, who gave himself, the groom, the spouse that you can never be. 00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:09.800 And in that you can see you're forgiven for all your self-centeredness and you have the 00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:16.039 power to look at the cross over and over and over again and find the promise of a great 00:34:16.039 --> 00:34:18.039 relationship. 00:34:18.039 --> 00:34:27.519 Jesus Christ, the great groom, he's the real power to sustain true marriage. 00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:28.519 Let's pray. 00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:33.280 Father, we give thanks for the beauty of the gospel built right into the heart of the marriage 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:34.519 story. 00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:42.079 And so we pray today for anybody who wants to be married and is not, who is looking at 00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:45.800 marriage, who is married or who's struggling in marriage. 00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:49.840 And in all these situations, Lord, we ask that you would come and you would speak, that 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:55.440 you would teach us what it means ultimately, no matter what our situation is, even after 00:34:55.440 --> 00:35:00.960 marriage perhaps, that no matter what, we have the possibility of the ultimate marriage 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:01.960 in you. 00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:07.480 So help us today to believe that gospel, that good news, that no matter what happens in 00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:14.199 our marriages, no matter what happens, Jesus, you offer us in the cross the possibility of 00:35:14.199 --> 00:35:18.240 eternal marriage, the church and the great groom. 00:35:18.240 --> 00:35:20.639 So help us to believe that today, Lord, above all things. 00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:21.960 And we pray this in Jesus' name. 00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:31.960 Amen.