WEBVTT 00:00:00.980 --> 00:00:05.379 Ed, I'm really thankful for you stepping up and being an elder here at this church. 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:07.000 I really appreciate you. 00:00:08.939 --> 00:00:11.500 Felicia, thank you for singing so beautifully. 00:00:12.460 --> 00:00:13.679 I really appreciate it. 00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:19.240 And Donna's not here. 00:00:19.539 --> 00:00:23.000 But I was going to thank her because she has some really, really helpful kids. 00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:26.900 I'm sure they're helping out with the bake sale and stuff this morning. 00:00:26.899 --> 00:00:30.359 Henry, where's Henry? 00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:32.500 There you go. 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:34.119 Henry, I love your jacket. 00:00:34.939 --> 00:00:36.060 It is really fashionable. 00:00:37.339 --> 00:00:39.000 I could not pull it off. 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:41.979 Alicia, it's really good to see you here today. 00:00:42.280 --> 00:00:45.719 I know you've just got back in your shoes, and that's really great to have you. 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:48.700 Justin, are you here? 00:00:49.859 --> 00:00:52.039 Justin, you're a really, really dear friend. 00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:53.280 And I love you. 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:53.340 Yeah. 00:00:53.340 --> 00:01:00.320 Words have an amazing power. 00:01:01.460 --> 00:01:09.100 They have this power that can encourage, that can uplift, that can bring life. 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:15.939 I know this because growing up, whenever my dad came home from work, he would look at my mother and say, 00:01:15.939 --> 00:01:17.659 I love you. 00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:20.679 And it doesn't matter the kind of day that she had had. 00:01:20.739 --> 00:01:25.620 It doesn't matter how miserable she had been because of what me and my siblings had been doing. 00:01:26.579 --> 00:01:27.879 She couldn't help but smile. 00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:32.379 God speaks these kinds of words. 00:01:32.500 --> 00:01:37.519 He speaks gracious words, encouraging words, life-giving words. 00:01:37.620 --> 00:01:38.700 They're all over the Bible. 00:01:38.700 --> 00:01:41.260 He speaks in creation. 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:43.240 He says, let there be light. 00:01:43.939 --> 00:01:46.159 And where there's darkness now, we find light. 00:01:46.540 --> 00:01:47.799 He speaks them to Abraham. 00:01:47.960 --> 00:01:48.820 He gives him a blessing. 00:01:49.500 --> 00:01:53.379 And he says, I'm going to bless you and your children, and the whole world is going to be blessed because of you. 00:01:54.480 --> 00:01:56.060 He speaks it to people like Joshua. 00:01:56.520 --> 00:01:59.980 And he says, do not be afraid because I am going to be with you always. 00:02:00.500 --> 00:02:01.540 I will never leave you. 00:02:02.180 --> 00:02:03.439 I will never forsake you. 00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:07.039 And he says these words to people like us. 00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:10.280 He says, come if you're weary, and I will give you rest. 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:17.500 He tells us that his grace is enough for us when we are weak that he is made strong. 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:25.620 Words, they fill every moment of our lives from the time that we wake up in the morning until we go to sleep. 00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:28.819 There are words coming out of our mouths. 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:29.819 We're hearing words. 00:02:29.919 --> 00:02:31.000 There are words in the TV. 00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:32.099 There are words in our phones. 00:02:32.099 --> 00:02:34.859 We're surrounded by words. 00:02:34.979 --> 00:02:45.799 And every moment of every day is an opportunity for these words to be used to uplift, to encourage, to give life. 00:02:49.079 --> 00:02:55.939 Our words and our tongues can also be vicious weapons. 00:02:56.979 --> 00:02:58.919 Growing up, I don't know if you heard this. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:02:59.780 I heard this a lot. 00:02:59.780 --> 00:03:03.520 Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:06.539 Now, I wish someone had told me that that was a lie. 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:10.080 Because, you know, a couple of weeks ago, I was playing rugby. 00:03:10.219 --> 00:03:14.219 I took a knock on the head, and I couldn't preach that the next day. 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:16.759 But, you know, a couple of days later, I was fine. 00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:17.560 I'm here today. 00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:18.020 I'm standing. 00:03:18.139 --> 00:03:19.219 Everything is working. 00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:25.360 But when I was about 14 years old, somebody called me a liar. 00:03:26.379 --> 00:03:30.439 When I was 14 years old, I got into trouble at school, and I tried to cover it up. 00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:31.460 So I told some lies. 00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:35.759 And then I told some more lies to smooth around the edges so that no one would know. 00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:40.139 What I didn't realize is that my parents and my teachers are on the same team. 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:43.359 So eventually, my lie wasn't covered. 00:03:43.459 --> 00:03:47.120 And my dad, he talked to me, and he said, you've been lying. 00:03:48.219 --> 00:03:49.039 He said, you are a liar. 00:03:49.179 --> 00:03:50.620 Please don't become a liar. 00:03:51.179 --> 00:03:53.560 And those words have stuck in me. 00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:59.300 To this day, I speak, and especially when I talk about important things, I try to be very, very precise. 00:03:59.979 --> 00:04:08.580 I try to give lots of clarification and context and preamble because I don't want anybody to ever call me a liar. 00:04:10.640 --> 00:04:12.539 Words can hurt. 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.740 You know, sin corrupts the words that we speak. 00:04:18.740 --> 00:04:23.639 And so, so much of the things that we say hurt. 00:04:23.960 --> 00:04:25.519 They hurt the people that we love. 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:28.639 They hurt people that we don't really care that much about. 00:04:29.019 --> 00:04:29.720 It's everywhere. 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:30.420 It's at home. 00:04:31.139 --> 00:04:31.780 It's in the office. 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:32.560 It's in the street. 00:04:33.819 --> 00:04:41.460 You know, if you have children or if you've ever been a child, you probably know something of what bullying is like and the way that those words harm. 00:04:43.960 --> 00:04:46.540 But, you know, bullying still happens when you're an adult. 00:04:46.540 --> 00:04:56.220 And we use these, our words, as weapons to, you know, establish our power and our authority over other people. 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:02.220 You know, we turn and we say, you know, to our spouse, I can't believe you've done that again. 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:08.960 Or, you know, we tell our child, you know, I just wish that you were like your brother. 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:17.239 We go to our employees and we say, is this really what I'm paying you for? 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:24.599 We receive hurtful words from one person and we pass them on to somebody else. 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:29.379 And it's not just, you know, the bad words, the four-letter words that we teach our kids not to say. 00:05:30.420 --> 00:05:34.439 But even sweet things can be designed to hurt. 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:37.260 In the American South, people will say stuff like, bless your heart. 00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:42.640 And what they don't mean is that they want to bless your heart. 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:44.680 And we all do this, not just Americans. 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:51.360 All right, we use politically correct language to mock and disparage people. 00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:55.459 And our phones, too, are our accomplices in this. 00:05:55.579 --> 00:05:58.340 And our text messages and our WhatsApps, our Snapchats. 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.079 You know, it's on Facebook, it's on Twitter. 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:08.519 Where we receive and we send hurtful words. 00:06:08.519 --> 00:06:16.659 You know, I was having a conversation this week as I was thinking about gracious words, you know, the topic of today's sermon. 00:06:17.259 --> 00:06:24.779 And I was made aware that it's not just the words that I say that hurt. 00:06:25.399 --> 00:06:29.139 But the words I don't say. 00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:34.099 When I don't give a loving response. 00:06:34.100 --> 00:06:37.620 When I say I forgive someone. 00:06:38.180 --> 00:06:45.000 But, you know, my terrible poker face tells the truth that actually I haven't really forgiven. 00:06:47.220 --> 00:06:54.460 And I realize, actually, there's so many words that go in and out of our lives that are hurtful. 00:06:54.600 --> 00:06:55.920 That never even come out of our mouth. 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:00.180 Now, I don't know about you, but for me, I wake up and I start thinking. 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.360 And I'm usually thinking different thoughts during the day. 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:06.520 And, you know, it's a commentary on what's going on. 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:08.520 What I think about this person or that person. 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:11.800 Or, you know, how I'm going to get to this, navigate this solution. 00:07:11.900 --> 00:07:14.340 But there are words going on in my head all the time. 00:07:14.580 --> 00:07:19.340 And as I'm talking and looking around, sometimes I look at people and, you know, encouraging things come to mind. 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:23.820 And other times there are hurtful words that build up. 00:07:25.980 --> 00:07:30.020 You know, the words that come out of our mouth are not perfectly clean. 00:07:30.019 --> 00:07:38.060 But the words that are going on in my head, in my mind, they really show the real content of my heart. 00:07:38.859 --> 00:07:40.579 You know, James warns the Christians. 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:46.959 He says that the tongue is like a fire that can burn down a forest. 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:52.680 That if it's not tamed, it will do wanton destruction. 00:07:54.779 --> 00:07:59.279 The tongue carries this immense power for destruction that it was not created for. 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:01.240 But this is the world that we live in. 00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:05.879 There's hurt, insult, and we're all each other's enemies. 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.199 We're our own enemies. 00:08:07.899 --> 00:08:10.639 And Christian or not, we play part in this battle. 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:12.800 And we're all offenders. 00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:18.000 We're all victims to each other's words. 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:28.500 And I think many times the difference between a Christian and non-Christian is more a matter of style. 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:33.639 And the substance of our talk is pretty much the same. 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:40.559 Now, as Christian believers, we're supposed to be different, aren't we? 00:08:41.899 --> 00:08:49.679 We're supposed to show how our lives have been transformed by God's amazing grace. 00:08:50.340 --> 00:08:55.860 You know, being Christian is not signing on the dotted line and coming to church every now and then to, you know, top up your hell insurance. 00:08:55.860 --> 00:09:02.440 All right, being a Christian is to be the subject of a massive identity change. 00:09:03.100 --> 00:09:09.680 From being a slave and an orphan to being the son of our king. 00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:11.720 And that should change the way that we live. 00:09:12.519 --> 00:09:18.259 But very often, our lives don't look that different from the lives around us. 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:24.320 Now, a Christian whose life tells a different story has amazing power. 00:09:24.320 --> 00:09:34.780 In 1994, Mother Teresa was invited to the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. at the White House. 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:42.100 And as she spoke there, she took aim at President Bush and Vice President Gore, 00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:47.260 who at the time were big supporters for abortion. 00:09:47.520 --> 00:09:51.340 And she gave this rousing defense of the unborn. 00:09:51.340 --> 00:09:55.420 And she showed how we ought to. 00:09:55.560 --> 00:09:58.759 She gave Christ's example, respond and love and give. 00:09:59.980 --> 00:10:03.820 And afterwards, it was very awkward when President Clinton came up to speak. 00:10:05.040 --> 00:10:08.139 Because Mother Teresa's words were very unpolitical. 00:10:08.139 --> 00:10:16.699 And he said, it is hard to argue with a life so well lived. 00:10:17.980 --> 00:10:20.100 That morning, her words carried a lot of weight. 00:10:20.539 --> 00:10:24.659 But far more weighty than what she said was the way that she lived her life. 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:28.720 She lived a life well lived. 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:35.519 What would it be like if for every single one of us, when we walked around and we went about our days, 00:10:35.580 --> 00:10:40.720 people looked at us and said, these are people who are living good lives. 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:46.000 And this is where our sermon series comes from. 00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:46.800 You'll see it in your bulletin. 00:10:46.860 --> 00:10:47.920 It says, a life will live. 00:10:47.960 --> 00:10:53.920 And over the next couple of weeks, we'll be talking about what it means to live our lives well. 00:10:54.060 --> 00:10:59.120 What it means for our lives to be transformed, to be changed by God's grace. 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:07.159 How it is as Christians, we can live fully in our identity as Christ's children. 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:11.220 So, how are we? 00:11:11.299 --> 00:11:13.740 Are we living lives well lived? 00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:20.480 Do our words show that we live our lives well? 00:11:24.980 --> 00:11:28.600 We're talking about words, so I'm going to, three steps. 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:30.320 Hopefully, you can follow along. 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.039 We'll start with, where do our words go wrong? 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:37.179 Why do we speak ungracious words? 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:40.120 Then we're going to figure out what gracious words are, 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:45.299 and then try and figure out how we make that transition from not speaking gracious words 00:11:45.299 --> 00:11:48.820 to speaking gracious words. 00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.019 So, where do our words go wrong? 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:57.320 Our words, like I said, they have this amazing power to bless and to create, 00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:03.100 but also this power to hurt and betray. 00:12:04.460 --> 00:12:08.600 James 3 tells us that our gracious words ought not to be. 00:12:09.800 --> 00:12:13.520 You know, our, he asks in verse 10 of James 3, he says, 00:12:13.520 --> 00:12:21.400 how can you curse your brother one moment and the next moment be praising God? 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:22.640 That's not what they're made for. 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:27.460 Remember, the Bible begins with words. 00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:32.319 And God uses his words to give life. 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:36.480 He creates the sun, moon, earth, sky, plants, animals, trees. 00:12:36.799 --> 00:12:40.419 And then with his hands, he creates human beings. 00:12:40.620 --> 00:12:43.779 And the first words he speaks to them are blessing. 00:12:44.039 --> 00:12:50.360 He says, you know, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, care for it, have dominion over it. 00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:55.820 And into this beautiful creation, we see this intruder coming in. 00:12:56.600 --> 00:13:02.759 Satan comes into this beautiful, perfect world, and he uses words not to bless and not to create, 00:13:03.560 --> 00:13:07.360 but to lie and to deceive. 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:14.600 He introduces words that hurt and scar and change the face of humanity. 00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:22.820 In the garden, we see that not only do words create, but they destroy. 00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:26.899 And because of that, man is separated from God. 00:13:27.820 --> 00:13:35.700 Because of that, man's relationship with God and actually each other is broken down. 00:13:35.700 --> 00:13:39.879 And so we can't speak to God. 00:13:39.980 --> 00:13:41.040 We can't reach him. 00:13:41.100 --> 00:13:48.240 And we can't really speak to other people because we don't know if they always have our best interests at heart. 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:56.759 But from that moment on, gracious words and blessing are very rarely seen from human mouths. 00:13:56.759 --> 00:14:04.679 Even God's messengers, his prophets and priests, the messages they bring are tainted by their own sin and frustration. 00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:15.819 You know, in Luke chapter 6, Jesus uses this garden analogy to talk about words. 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:22.759 He says that, you know, the type of tree you have will show the kind of fruit that you bear. 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:22.799 Right? 00:14:23.879 --> 00:14:27.220 Jesus says no good tree bears bad fruit. 00:14:27.860 --> 00:14:28.059 All right? 00:14:28.059 --> 00:14:29.080 I don't know a lot about trees. 00:14:29.460 --> 00:14:30.720 I know what a coconut tree looks like. 00:14:31.639 --> 00:14:31.799 All right? 00:14:31.819 --> 00:14:33.159 Every other tree basically looks the same. 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:39.580 So I know that if I want to know if a mango tree makes mangoes, I need to wait for it to make mangoes. 00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:40.659 Otherwise, I'm not sure. 00:14:40.779 --> 00:14:43.159 I can't look at the leaves and tell you what kind of plant it is. 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:50.519 But I know that if I sit under a coconut tree, it will never grow lemons and it will never grow raspberries. 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.939 All right? 00:14:53.319 --> 00:15:03.059 And so if there's this problem with a tree, right, then we know it because it turns out in its fruit. 00:15:05.439 --> 00:15:07.159 Say I have a mango tree. 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:12.059 I decide to go to Victoria Park and uproot one of the trees and I plant a mango tree there. 00:15:12.319 --> 00:15:13.579 And it starts growing. 00:15:14.139 --> 00:15:17.600 And I notice that these aren't really nice mangoes. 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:20.340 They're small. 00:15:20.700 --> 00:15:21.960 The seeds are big. 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:24.680 The flesh is stringy and bland. 00:15:25.560 --> 00:15:25.720 All right? 00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:28.320 There's something wrong there. 00:15:28.800 --> 00:15:30.080 So, you know, I might do. 00:15:30.220 --> 00:15:34.220 I might go to my tree and remove all the mangoes. 00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:43.580 But that doesn't really do anything because the tree will continue producing these disgusting mangoes. 00:15:44.779 --> 00:15:44.920 All right? 00:15:45.019 --> 00:15:52.779 What I could do also is I could go to the Yamate market and I could buy a crate of, you know, the freshest, juiciest mangoes from the Philippines. 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:58.279 And I'll bring them along to my tree and I'll get some tape and I'll attach them to the tree. 00:15:58.360 --> 00:15:59.960 And from a distance, it looks great. 00:15:59.960 --> 00:16:03.160 And, you know, and I can bring my friends and say, stand here, don't get too close. 00:16:03.259 --> 00:16:05.540 But, you know, look at that beautiful mango tree. 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:06.840 Isn't that great? 00:16:06.940 --> 00:16:10.540 But when you get closer, you see that there's duct tape holding onto it. 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:20.519 And you notice after a while there's this stink because the fruit is rotting and it's dying because it's not connected to the life of the fruit. 00:16:20.519 --> 00:16:28.079 But this is how many of us deal with our words. 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:34.799 One of my biggest responses is not to say anything. 00:16:36.139 --> 00:16:43.059 When I feel, hear bad words coming in my heart, I decide I'm just going to shut up. 00:16:43.259 --> 00:16:43.860 I won't say anything. 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:45.600 It's something that I picked up from my parents. 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:47.939 And I love them. 00:16:47.940 --> 00:16:56.580 But very often I find that not saying anything can be as hurtful as saying something. 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:00.940 I've been working with Henrika in the university ministry for about three years now. 00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:05.420 And if you know either of us, you know that we're very different people. 00:17:06.580 --> 00:17:06.640 Right? 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:12.340 We agree on some things, but there are lots of things that we disagree on. 00:17:12.380 --> 00:17:14.360 And I don't disagree well. 00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:17.439 I'm very, very bad at disagreeing. 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:26.759 And so when she says something that I disagree with, very often my response is just to shut up. 00:17:28.439 --> 00:17:32.339 But that doesn't do anything. 00:17:32.439 --> 00:17:34.319 That doesn't help the situation. 00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:40.939 It creates this toxic smoke that seeps into the rest of the university ministry. 00:17:41.639 --> 00:17:42.740 It's not loving. 00:17:43.460 --> 00:17:44.759 It's prideful. 00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:45.319 It's selfish. 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.480 I end up feeling bitter and she's hurt. 00:17:51.559 --> 00:17:54.259 And we have this rotten tree. 00:17:54.259 --> 00:17:57.759 That's me. 00:17:59.819 --> 00:18:07.720 And no matter how hard I try to remove the fruit, the tree itself is still rotting. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:12.440 You know, sometimes we try and cover up our words. 00:18:12.859 --> 00:18:19.299 We say different things that we don't really mean, that aren't really true. 00:18:19.299 --> 00:18:26.180 You know, it's like spraying some clay bricks, you know, spraying them with gold paint and taking them to the bank and trying to deposit them. 00:18:26.819 --> 00:18:32.759 You know, they'll turn you away because those words are not real. 00:18:32.899 --> 00:18:34.779 They're not true. 00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:39.159 Like the untrue words of the snake in the garden. 00:18:40.180 --> 00:18:41.460 Those words destroy. 00:18:41.940 --> 00:18:43.779 In the video, we saw this family. 00:18:43.779 --> 00:18:50.339 And, you know, they had hurtful words going on in the morning as they were preparing to get to church. 00:18:50.460 --> 00:18:55.059 And they got to church and the parents, they've been around for a while, so they know that at church you're supposed to smile and look perfect. 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:56.440 Right? 00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:58.480 No, you're not supposed to. 00:18:59.259 --> 00:18:59.519 Right? 00:18:59.639 --> 00:19:03.379 But on the kid's face, you could see what was really going on. 00:19:04.539 --> 00:19:09.019 While their father was there praising God, you know, the six-year-old was there grumpy. 00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:10.960 Right? 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:19.160 The words that the parents had said with their smiling faces, they weren't true words. 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:21.440 They weren't reflecting what was really going on. 00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:25.160 And those words hurt. 00:19:26.840 --> 00:19:31.519 Jesus, in verse 45, says some very difficult words. 00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:33.799 Some convicting words. 00:19:33.799 --> 00:19:36.879 He says, 00:19:36.879 --> 00:19:41.059 The good person, out of his good treasure in his heart, produces good. 00:19:41.899 --> 00:19:45.319 And the evil person, out of the evil treasure, produces evil. 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:49.779 For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. 00:19:49.779 --> 00:19:59.799 These are difficult words for me because it means that the words that I'm not saying in my heart that are evil, 00:20:00.399 --> 00:20:01.700 they come from me because I'm evil. 00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:07.059 The evil things that I say are because I am evil. 00:20:07.059 --> 00:20:18.079 What Jesus is saying here is that when I snap at my sister, it's a problem with my heart, not her. 00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:21.259 It's because I want to be right. 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:28.519 When I keep my mouth shut, when I disagree with Henrika, it's not because she's wrong, 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:32.779 but because of the pride in my heart. 00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:40.660 When things don't go your way and you're yelling at waiters or you're yelling at your children. 00:20:43.200 --> 00:20:44.680 That's something in your heart. 00:20:46.839 --> 00:20:51.180 When we feel incompetent and we take our words out on our spouses. 00:20:55.460 --> 00:20:57.519 When we speak harsh words to our friends. 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:00.920 Now, some are innocent mistakes, 00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:03.460 but more often than not, 00:21:04.460 --> 00:21:07.680 they're showing this deep darkness in our hearts. 00:21:08.800 --> 00:21:12.039 What Jesus is saying is that our bad words are not the result of faulty lips, 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:13.960 but broken hearts. 00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:21.340 Whatever the tree is made of, 00:21:21.800 --> 00:21:23.620 that will show up in its fruit. 00:21:26.620 --> 00:21:28.680 So, what are gracious words? 00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:30.740 What are words that we're supposed to speak? 00:21:31.620 --> 00:21:32.640 You know, on the flip side, 00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:37.100 you'll see there's some verses there from Proverbs 15, 00:21:37.180 --> 00:21:42.500 and Solomon there writes some nice, you know, little proverbs about gracious words. 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:44.240 You know, he says, 00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:45.960 wise words instead of foolish ramblings. 00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:48.080 You know, giving a good answer at the right time. 00:21:49.180 --> 00:21:51.279 These are gracious words. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:58.299 But how do we get from these gracious words when we have rotten hearts? 00:22:00.299 --> 00:22:02.839 You know, if what we've been talking about these past couple of weeks is true, 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:06.539 that Jesus has freed us from our slavery, 00:22:07.539 --> 00:22:12.720 then that means that we are free from our rotten hearts, 00:22:12.779 --> 00:22:15.740 that we are free from this sin that entangled us. 00:22:15.740 --> 00:22:19.140 We are free to speak life-giving words. 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:21.140 Unfortunately, so many of us are like fleas. 00:22:22.299 --> 00:22:22.440 Right? 00:22:23.380 --> 00:22:25.000 If you want to collect fleas from experiment, 00:22:25.299 --> 00:22:28.120 you want to keep them in somewhere you can see them. 00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:29.759 A glass jar, for example. 00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:30.779 Right? 00:22:30.779 --> 00:22:33.279 You collect fleas, you put them in the jar, but they jump out. 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:35.059 Fleas are very good jumpers. 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:39.259 But if you put a lid on the jar, they won't get out. 00:22:39.879 --> 00:22:40.420 Fairly simple. 00:22:41.879 --> 00:22:43.700 But after a couple of days, 00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:47.160 the fleas will be jumping and jumping and jumping and trying to get out, 00:22:47.399 --> 00:22:49.420 but they'll learn that they'll jump and hit something. 00:22:50.279 --> 00:22:51.940 So they stop jumping so high. 00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:55.200 So in a couple of days, you can remove the lid, 00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:57.720 and the fleas will stay inside the jar 00:22:57.720 --> 00:22:59.960 because they'll keep jumping and jumping, 00:22:59.960 --> 00:23:02.319 they'll only jump as high as the lid went. 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:04.319 They won't jump further. 00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:06.079 And so many of us are like that. 00:23:07.019 --> 00:23:10.940 In our Christian walk, we've been freed. 00:23:11.360 --> 00:23:12.819 The lid has been taken off. 00:23:13.500 --> 00:23:17.160 Yet we live our lives chained to this bottom of this jar 00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:21.200 where we don't live out the grace that we've received. 00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:25.259 We don't live in the freedom that God gives us. 00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:31.799 If the gospel is true, 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:38.600 then we have an amazing freedom to speak gracious words. 00:23:38.700 --> 00:23:43.660 We have an amazing freedom to reject the hurtful things in our hearts 00:23:43.660 --> 00:23:47.460 and choose to say loving and caring things. 00:23:47.460 --> 00:23:51.980 In Galatians 5, Paul tells these people, 00:23:52.100 --> 00:23:52.400 he says, 00:23:52.779 --> 00:23:54.420 For freedom Christ has set you free. 00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:58.720 Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. 00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:04.880 He says that you are children of this promise 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:10.140 that Abraham had, that David had, that Jesus fulfilled. 00:24:10.140 --> 00:24:13.780 So you don't have to live in sin anymore. 00:24:14.280 --> 00:24:15.820 And he does one better. 00:24:15.900 --> 00:24:17.060 He gives them something to aim at. 00:24:17.180 --> 00:24:19.240 He says, in verse 13, he says, 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:22.340 You are called to freedom, 00:24:22.600 --> 00:24:27.320 and don't use your freedom as an opportunity for your flesh 00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:28.880 and your sinful desires. 00:24:29.380 --> 00:24:31.720 Instead, use them to serve other people. 00:24:32.540 --> 00:24:35.140 Gracious words are not serving our flesh, 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:39.140 our desires, responding to our fears and our inadequacies, 00:24:39.140 --> 00:24:44.920 but gracious words serve other people. 00:24:47.420 --> 00:24:50.720 How different would our words be if they weren't about us 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:52.560 and things going our way? 00:24:53.300 --> 00:24:59.840 If they weren't about me looking good or me being right? 00:25:00.740 --> 00:25:02.480 What if they were about serving other people? 00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:09.360 How different would my words be to Enrica when we disagree? 00:25:09.500 --> 00:25:13.500 If I truly cared about lifting her up and encouraging her? 00:25:13.900 --> 00:25:17.000 How would my words be different to my mother or my sister 00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:18.920 when they're running late? 00:25:20.099 --> 00:25:24.700 How different would my words be to people who frustrate me? 00:25:24.700 --> 00:25:30.220 If the end, the direction, the trajectory of my words is not me, 00:25:30.860 --> 00:25:33.319 but encouraging them? 00:25:34.259 --> 00:25:37.180 If it's not serving Alfie, 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:42.779 but serving other people? 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:48.319 Our words will never be gracious if they're about us. 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:54.740 They actually won't be gracious if they're about our idols either, 00:25:55.059 --> 00:25:57.299 whether it's work or family, 00:25:57.639 --> 00:26:00.559 because the moment that those things disappoint us, 00:26:00.659 --> 00:26:03.899 then our ungracious words come back out. 00:26:07.240 --> 00:26:12.139 Gracious words means words that point people back to Christ, 00:26:12.140 --> 00:26:14.400 that point to His grace, 00:26:14.940 --> 00:26:18.720 that show His amazing love for us. 00:26:20.780 --> 00:26:22.460 So we know words are powerful. 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:24.960 We know that we have this heart problem 00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:27.060 that makes ungracious words, 00:26:27.140 --> 00:26:30.140 and we know that gracious words are encouraging 00:26:30.140 --> 00:26:32.000 and lifting other people up. 00:26:32.080 --> 00:26:34.880 So how do we get from all that 00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:37.060 to speaking gracious words? 00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:39.900 I've got four steps for you, 00:26:39.900 --> 00:26:43.040 and I really, I hate steps, 00:26:43.360 --> 00:26:46.180 because that usually means that we're fixing the problem, 00:26:46.540 --> 00:26:47.259 and not us, 00:26:47.320 --> 00:26:49.140 but these steps are different. 00:26:50.120 --> 00:26:51.300 Because these steps are not about 00:26:51.300 --> 00:26:53.320 what we can do to change our hearts, 00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:55.580 not how we can manage our tongues better. 00:26:56.860 --> 00:26:58.740 But it's how the gospel changes it. 00:26:59.740 --> 00:27:02.140 It's how the gospel gives a new life 00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:03.140 and a new direction. 00:27:04.840 --> 00:27:05.000 All right? 00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:08.120 Number one, believe the gospel. 00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:09.279 Right? 00:27:09.359 --> 00:27:10.259 Now, it sounds very simple, 00:27:11.079 --> 00:27:14.639 but I realize that very often, 00:27:14.759 --> 00:27:16.259 I don't believe the gospel. 00:27:16.419 --> 00:27:17.459 When my words are hurtful, 00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:18.559 when they're spiteful, 00:27:19.219 --> 00:27:21.079 when I take aim at people 00:27:21.079 --> 00:27:23.119 who aren't doing things my way, 00:27:23.500 --> 00:27:26.819 I do that because I don't believe the gospel. 00:27:27.639 --> 00:27:29.399 I don't believe that God would ever do, 00:27:30.979 --> 00:27:33.039 show me grace. 00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:34.459 I don't believe that I deserve it. 00:27:34.459 --> 00:27:35.679 So I put other people down, 00:27:35.680 --> 00:27:36.779 so I feel worthy. 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:39.480 You know, I need to be proven right, 00:27:39.799 --> 00:27:41.500 so I say that I can earn 00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:44.019 his salvation. 00:27:45.980 --> 00:27:46.680 That's not true. 00:27:46.740 --> 00:27:47.640 I need to believe that 00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:50.880 God is great, 00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:52.140 so I don't have to be in control, 00:27:52.340 --> 00:27:53.660 that he's able, 00:27:54.279 --> 00:27:56.539 so I don't have to rely on myself, 00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:58.600 that he is good. 00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:00.779 So I don't have to look elsewhere 00:28:00.779 --> 00:28:02.199 for my comfort. 00:28:04.740 --> 00:28:07.159 My new heart does not come from my work, 00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:09.839 but it comes from the work of the gospel 00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:11.719 that Jesus does. 00:28:12.419 --> 00:28:15.519 My new heart comes from believing that 00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:17.240 before time, 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:18.740 God chose me, 00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:20.539 and he called me to be his child, 00:28:20.579 --> 00:28:21.359 and when I was born, 00:28:21.679 --> 00:28:24.219 knowing that I would be a sinner, 00:28:24.220 --> 00:28:26.920 God gave Jesus for me. 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:28.259 If I don't believe this, 00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:30.240 then my words are always 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:32.880 going to be about my comfort, 00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:34.460 and me being in control, 00:28:35.140 --> 00:28:37.480 and me having things my way. 00:28:38.860 --> 00:28:39.779 You know, if you're here 00:28:39.779 --> 00:28:41.380 and you don't believe this gospel, 00:28:41.460 --> 00:28:42.519 I want you to believe it. 00:28:42.900 --> 00:28:43.519 I want you to believe it, 00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:45.120 not just because you'll have sweet, 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:46.440 gracious words coming from your mouth, 00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:48.420 but because in this gospel, 00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:49.200 there's life, 00:28:50.120 --> 00:28:52.000 that there's hope, 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.740 that you are part of a family, 00:28:56.740 --> 00:28:58.720 and you will live with God forever. 00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:03.240 Number two is repent. 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:05.900 That means to turn away. 00:29:06.660 --> 00:29:07.579 Turn away from, 00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:08.920 not just our hurtful words, 00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:11.259 but our hurtful silences, 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:14.640 from the times that we stick 00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:16.440 rotten mangoes on our tree, 00:29:16.440 --> 00:29:19.619 from the idols that serve 00:29:19.619 --> 00:29:22.719 our broken words. 00:29:23.699 --> 00:29:24.679 Now, there's a temptation here 00:29:24.679 --> 00:29:25.679 to blame our circumstances, 00:29:26.379 --> 00:29:27.379 that, you know, things, 00:29:27.819 --> 00:29:28.359 well, you know, 00:29:28.379 --> 00:29:29.139 if things went my way, 00:29:29.179 --> 00:29:30.359 I wouldn't have said those things, 00:29:30.399 --> 00:29:31.179 or, you know, 00:29:31.219 --> 00:29:32.539 if they were on time, 00:29:33.099 --> 00:29:33.719 or, you know, 00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:34.719 if, you know, 00:29:34.819 --> 00:29:35.779 well, he deserved it, 00:29:35.819 --> 00:29:37.079 so I gave it to him. 00:29:37.959 --> 00:29:39.759 We tend to blame our circumstances, 00:29:39.959 --> 00:29:42.979 but repentance means laying down all, 00:29:42.979 --> 00:29:46.919 all of our hurtful words, 00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:49.479 all of our ungracious words, 00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:52.979 regardless of what 00:29:52.979 --> 00:29:56.819 calls them. 00:29:58.919 --> 00:29:59.059 Right? 00:29:59.239 --> 00:29:59.979 Number one, 00:30:00.159 --> 00:30:00.739 believe the gospel. 00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:01.319 Number two, 00:30:01.819 --> 00:30:02.039 repent. 00:30:02.159 --> 00:30:02.779 Number three, 00:30:03.479 --> 00:30:04.379 run to Jesus. 00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:05.899 Run to Jesus, 00:30:05.979 --> 00:30:06.819 because he has nothing 00:30:06.819 --> 00:30:08.659 but gracious words for you. 00:30:10.139 --> 00:30:10.500 You know, 00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:11.739 when you are weighted down 00:30:11.739 --> 00:30:14.199 by the weight of your sin, 00:30:14.239 --> 00:30:14.539 he says, 00:30:14.879 --> 00:30:15.219 come to me, 00:30:15.259 --> 00:30:17.159 and I will give you rest. 00:30:18.259 --> 00:30:18.500 You know, 00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:19.460 when you're tired 00:30:19.460 --> 00:30:20.460 and you feel like you're all 00:30:20.460 --> 00:30:22.460 out of grace to give, 00:30:22.539 --> 00:30:23.940 he says that my strength 00:30:23.940 --> 00:30:24.759 is not for you. 00:30:25.400 --> 00:30:28.500 My grace is more than enough. 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:31.079 Run to Jesus in every conversation, 00:30:31.240 --> 00:30:32.539 because Jesus has promised 00:30:32.539 --> 00:30:34.839 his Holy Spirit to be with you. 00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:36.940 Romans 8 says his Spirit reminds us 00:30:36.940 --> 00:30:37.740 that we're his children, 00:30:37.740 --> 00:30:39.160 and in Galatians 5, 00:30:39.259 --> 00:30:40.220 we see that the Spirit 00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:42.299 gives us new words to say. 00:30:43.380 --> 00:30:44.720 It gives us words of love, 00:30:45.180 --> 00:30:45.960 of joy, 00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:47.480 of peace. 00:30:48.620 --> 00:30:50.019 The Spirit works into us 00:30:50.019 --> 00:30:51.400 goodness and faithfulness 00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:51.960 and kindness 00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:53.740 and self-control. 00:30:55.099 --> 00:30:55.819 The good words 00:30:55.819 --> 00:30:57.099 and the gracious words you speak 00:30:57.099 --> 00:30:58.559 don't come from my effort, 00:30:58.660 --> 00:30:59.640 but it comes from the Spirit 00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:01.720 working out in my life. 00:31:01.720 --> 00:31:04.100 So run to Jesus, 00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:06.180 because he's given you 00:31:06.180 --> 00:31:07.740 the Spirit 00:31:07.740 --> 00:31:08.920 through which 00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:10.620 you speak gracious words. 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:13.059 And the last thing 00:31:13.059 --> 00:31:16.539 is to fill up 00:31:16.539 --> 00:31:17.660 on gracious words. 00:31:19.559 --> 00:31:20.160 In Luke 6, 00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:20.860 Jesus said that 00:31:20.860 --> 00:31:21.860 whatever is 00:31:21.860 --> 00:31:24.660 bubbling up in our heart 00:31:24.660 --> 00:31:26.420 will spill out of our mouths. 00:31:26.420 --> 00:31:29.000 And so we need to fill 00:31:29.000 --> 00:31:30.039 our lives, 00:31:30.140 --> 00:31:30.880 our words, 00:31:31.620 --> 00:31:32.360 our hearts 00:31:32.360 --> 00:31:35.340 with gracious words. 00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:36.860 There's nothing 00:31:36.860 --> 00:31:38.440 that is more powerful 00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.000 for changing the words 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:40.560 that we speak 00:31:40.560 --> 00:31:42.039 than the Bible. 00:31:42.180 --> 00:31:43.039 So if you don't have a Bible, 00:31:43.160 --> 00:31:43.519 get one. 00:31:43.600 --> 00:31:44.100 If you don't, 00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:45.140 if you have one, 00:31:45.800 --> 00:31:46.300 read it. 00:31:47.420 --> 00:31:47.600 Right? 00:31:48.600 --> 00:31:49.880 Our hearts are transformed 00:31:49.880 --> 00:31:50.680 when we are filled 00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:53.220 with these gracious words. 00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:54.580 So find people 00:31:54.580 --> 00:31:55.700 that you can discuss them with. 00:31:55.800 --> 00:31:56.400 Find people you can 00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:56.960 talk with it, 00:31:57.040 --> 00:31:57.640 study through it, 00:31:57.680 --> 00:31:58.500 join a community group. 00:31:59.000 --> 00:31:59.920 That's a great place 00:31:59.920 --> 00:32:00.519 to do that. 00:32:01.300 --> 00:32:02.259 Because when we are filled 00:32:02.259 --> 00:32:03.000 by these words, 00:32:03.060 --> 00:32:03.620 when we are filled 00:32:03.620 --> 00:32:05.220 by the words 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:07.060 of the Bible, 00:32:07.140 --> 00:32:07.920 when we are filled 00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:09.460 with God's Holy Spirit, 00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:10.680 when we have turned away 00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:13.640 from our hurtful words, 00:32:14.259 --> 00:32:15.019 when we believe 00:32:15.019 --> 00:32:15.580 our gospel, 00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:18.580 that Jesus died 00:32:18.580 --> 00:32:19.320 so I don't have 00:32:19.320 --> 00:32:21.340 to prove myself, 00:32:22.820 --> 00:32:24.080 then we can speak 00:32:24.080 --> 00:32:25.580 gracious words. 00:32:25.579 --> 00:32:27.899 let's pray. 00:32:27.899 --> 00:32:27.939 Let's pray. 00:32:34.399 --> 00:32:35.259 Heavenly Father, 00:32:35.339 --> 00:32:36.399 I confess that I 00:32:36.399 --> 00:32:39.199 am full of 00:32:39.199 --> 00:32:40.519 ungracious words. 00:32:41.199 --> 00:32:42.159 I thank you that 00:32:42.159 --> 00:32:43.579 you have 00:32:43.579 --> 00:32:44.740 more than enough 00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:45.419 grace for me. 00:32:46.679 --> 00:32:47.960 That you have grace 00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:48.439 to cover 00:32:48.439 --> 00:32:50.519 my sin 00:32:50.519 --> 00:32:53.019 and my hurtful words. 00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:54.299 God, 00:32:54.339 --> 00:32:55.259 I thank you that you 00:32:55.259 --> 00:32:57.160 don't leave us 00:32:57.160 --> 00:32:58.039 to work out these 00:32:58.039 --> 00:32:59.319 words by ourselves, 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:00.019 but you give us 00:33:00.019 --> 00:33:00.879 your Holy Spirit 00:33:00.879 --> 00:33:05.839 to work in us, 00:33:06.299 --> 00:33:08.119 to transform us, 00:33:08.259 --> 00:33:09.299 to give us 00:33:09.299 --> 00:33:10.480 a new heart, 00:33:11.480 --> 00:33:12.940 to give us 00:33:12.940 --> 00:33:15.259 new words to speak. 00:33:15.259 --> 00:33:15.900 God, 00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:17.299 we thank you 00:33:17.299 --> 00:33:17.680 and I ask 00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:18.039 that you would 00:33:18.039 --> 00:33:18.680 help us 00:33:18.680 --> 00:33:20.400 to be people 00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:20.980 who live 00:33:20.980 --> 00:33:22.980 lives well lived 00:33:22.980 --> 00:33:24.779 because of the 00:33:24.779 --> 00:33:25.379 words that we 00:33:25.379 --> 00:33:26.119 speak in you. 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:27.879 Amen. 00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:28.880 Amen.