WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.040 I wonder if you can relate to the feeling that comes over you when you think of that person's face. 00:00:09.040 --> 00:00:12.040 ! 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:40.840 There's an emotional aspect to it more significantly that means you're distracted and irritated and annoyed. 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:52.920 That person, that group of people, that thing that they did, it's still there. 00:00:52.920 --> 00:01:00.600 Those years have passed and the thought of them, maybe even as I'm saying this now, there's a face that comes to mind, 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:08.599 there's a person's name that comes to mind and that agitation begins. 00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:11.200 Maybe you thought you'd move beyond it. 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:22.680 It was so long ago, you've talked about it so much, and yet you realize now that it's still an issue in your heart. 00:01:22.680 --> 00:01:33.360 Resentment, quote, resentment, also called ranklement or bitterness, is a complex, multi-layered emotion 00:01:33.360 --> 00:01:38.560 that has been described as a mixture of disappointment, disgust and anger. 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:43.560 That's the definition of resentment from the sociologist Warren Tenhouten. 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:49.440 Resentment focuses on A, and it could be perceived or actual. 00:01:49.439 --> 00:02:02.120 It focuses on a sense of having been wronged in some way and ruminates and seethes and often looks to retaliate. 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:05.120 That's a cheery note on which to start this evening. 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:07.800 Why start there? 00:02:07.800 --> 00:02:13.120 Because resentment is common currency in our day. 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:15.800 Resentment motivates so much of our politics. 00:02:15.800 --> 00:02:19.800 It drives so-called cancel culture. 00:02:19.800 --> 00:02:26.200 You know cancel culture, that phenomenon whereby if you offend me, or in some cases if you even disagree with me, 00:02:26.199 --> 00:02:30.879 I seek to get you fired or ruin your reputation in some way. 00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:35.199 And resentment frames a lot of our wider social discourse. 00:02:35.199 --> 00:02:39.879 It informs lots of our conversations. 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:46.560 Our culture expects us to see resentment as just a normal part of things. 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:51.159 We're expected to hold things against people who treat us in a particular way. 00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:58.560 We're expected to settle scores in the name of justice and to exact retribution, whatever that might take. 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:04.560 Vilifying another person is totally reasonable then in such an adversarial environment. 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:09.840 The environment in which we live, the air that we breathe in our culture. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:17.800 And because this is the case, it's in our workplaces, it's in our friendship circles, it's certainly on our social media feeds. 00:03:17.800 --> 00:03:19.680 Christians need to watch out. 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:21.840 We need to watch out. 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:31.920 Because this attitude, complex multi-layered emotion that has been described as a mixture of disappointment, disgust and anger, 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:39.799 that attitude is completely at odds with what is supposed to characterize our disposition, our hard attitude to others, 00:03:39.799 --> 00:03:44.199 but particularly our relationships as the people of God. 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:51.000 The Christian community, as we've been hearing Sunday evening by Sunday evening over the last while from the Sermon on the Mount, 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:53.599 is supposed to be distinctive in the culture. 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:59.519 We are supposed to be present in the culture, but marked by different values that stand out. 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:02.760 In John's Gospel, Jesus makes it very clear. 00:04:02.760 --> 00:04:06.400 He says, this is how they will know that you are my disciples. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:09.120 The they is the culture, the world. 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:10.840 The disciples are the people of God. 00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:14.240 This is how the world will know that you are the people of God. 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:16.439 It is as you love one another. 00:04:18.439 --> 00:04:26.519 And this evening, as a bit of an appendix to the Sermon on the Mount series, I want to go back and pick up a theme that we mentioned in passing, 00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:31.159 but that deserves more attention because of this cultural atmosphere in which we live. 00:04:31.159 --> 00:04:38.159 And that is how Christian love deals with grievances by choosing forgiveness over resentment. 00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:45.159 How Christian love deals with grievances by choosing forgiveness over resentment. 00:04:45.399 --> 00:04:47.680 I want to talk about forgiveness. 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:55.519 Jesus tells us in the Lord's Prayer, forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. 00:04:55.519 --> 00:04:58.519 When it comes to God, we know that confession is essential. 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:04.720 Whilst we know Him as our Father and we know our acceptance before Him is not based on any merit in us, 00:05:05.319 --> 00:05:09.040 that doesn't mean that we aren't aware of the reality of ongoing sin in our lives. 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:14.899 Confession in the Kingdom of God isn't us becoming a Christian again. 00:05:14.899 --> 00:05:19.539 We don't fall in and out of salvation because of our ongoing sin. 00:05:20.339 --> 00:05:26.479 Confession is the unburdening that comes when a relationship that has got twisted up gets straightened out again. 00:05:27.620 --> 00:05:30.879 That is why we confess our sins together each Lord's Day. 00:05:32.500 --> 00:05:34.620 And what a comfort those words of assurance are. 00:05:34.699 --> 00:05:40.339 When we hear that reminder of gospel that follows our confession each Lord's Day, 00:05:40.419 --> 00:05:42.620 that reminds us of our forgiveness in Christ. 00:05:42.620 --> 00:05:43.740 Precious words. 00:05:45.139 --> 00:05:46.259 So we know that. 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:47.800 We know confession is important. 00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:50.579 But I want to focus on the second part of the sentence. 00:05:51.100 --> 00:05:54.319 As we also have forgiven our debtors. 00:05:55.699 --> 00:05:58.240 As we think about the kind of church that we are, 00:05:58.579 --> 00:06:02.360 we want to be one where disagreements and grievances are resolved quickly. 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:04.899 Where forgiveness is given and received. 00:06:05.319 --> 00:06:07.560 Because Christians don't give up on one another. 00:06:07.560 --> 00:06:09.600 We don't harbor grudges. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:14.439 And we don't allow resentment to get any traction in our life together as a community. 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:26.879 In Matthew 5, 23-26, Jesus says that we should go to someone if we know they have something against us. 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:32.420 And we get further on in Matthew's gospel to chapter 18, verses 15-20. 00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:35.860 We're told to go to someone if we have something against them. 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:39.439 We go to someone if they have something against us. 00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:42.000 We go to them if we have something against them. 00:06:42.659 --> 00:06:47.040 And what this means simply is that if any relationship gets out of shape in some way, 00:06:47.219 --> 00:06:49.180 it doesn't matter who started it. 00:06:49.819 --> 00:06:51.699 A Christian should seek to put things right. 00:06:51.699 --> 00:06:56.719 Regardless of how the problem began, we seek to put things right. 00:06:59.300 --> 00:07:03.680 If we can get hold of this, it will make for good relationships in church life. 00:07:03.779 --> 00:07:08.620 But it will also make us increasingly distinctive in this adversarial culture that we live in. 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:14.259 So to help us with this, I want to highlight three important aspects of forgiveness. 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:16.740 For us to consider. 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:18.219 But not just to consider. 00:07:18.339 --> 00:07:20.500 To make sure we're implementing in our lives. 00:07:20.500 --> 00:07:23.480 Three important aspects of forgiveness. 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:24.300 It is costly. 00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:25.819 It is required. 00:07:26.139 --> 00:07:27.220 And it is possible. 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:29.740 Costly, required, and possible. 00:07:29.860 --> 00:07:30.879 Number one, it is costly. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:33.420 Jesus describes sins in Matthew 5. 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:37.600 Did you notice in this translation here, in Matthew 5, he uses the image of a debt. 00:07:39.300 --> 00:07:42.000 He does the same in Matthew 18, as it happens. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:50.779 When you are seriously wronged by someone, you very clearly feel that the person who does whatever they do to you owes you in some way. 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:55.379 And if you're honest, that's how it feels. 00:07:56.100 --> 00:07:58.680 You feel like you need to make them pay to put it right. 00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:02.319 They have to pay down the debt that they have accrued. 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:05.280 And we do that in a number of ways. 00:08:06.980 --> 00:08:08.060 We can do it physically. 00:08:08.180 --> 00:08:08.639 We hit them. 00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:10.199 We can do it verbally. 00:08:10.400 --> 00:08:11.620 We vent our anger on them. 00:08:12.040 --> 00:08:13.920 Christians know that those aren't the right approach. 00:08:14.019 --> 00:08:15.899 Just to be clear, those aren't the right approach. 00:08:15.899 --> 00:08:21.779 So, we then also, often it's common that we'll avoid them. 00:08:24.019 --> 00:08:25.279 So, we know we can't hit them. 00:08:25.339 --> 00:08:26.699 We know we can't scream at them. 00:08:26.799 --> 00:08:27.679 So, we avoid them. 00:08:28.819 --> 00:08:31.579 But then there's also withdrawing emotionally. 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.899 Making the other person feel bad in some way. 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:36.379 This is common in marriage. 00:08:37.340 --> 00:08:40.199 Or even just hoping that something bad happens to them. 00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:43.720 I've seen this in marriage as well. 00:08:43.720 --> 00:08:46.340 But that's how we operate. 00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:47.600 Even subconsciously. 00:08:47.720 --> 00:08:49.740 We haven't actually thought that through in our minds. 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:51.500 It just kind of happens. 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:54.800 Only after that person suffers in some way, we think. 00:08:55.360 --> 00:08:58.279 And in a way that we deem equal with the wrong that they did to us. 00:08:58.340 --> 00:09:02.100 Do we decide that the debt has been paid and their obligations have been met. 00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:04.639 And so, we can move back towards them. 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:11.580 I want to suggest that this sense of debt and obligation is impossible to escape. 00:09:11.580 --> 00:09:16.280 And anyone who denies that it exists simply hasn't been wronged in any serious way. 00:09:18.940 --> 00:09:27.960 Now, for you to be able to extend forgiveness, you need to give up the right to go after that repayment from your wrongdoer. 00:09:27.960 --> 00:09:34.120 And what that means is that you will have to cancel the debt by paying it yourself. 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:38.500 Someone always pays every debt. 00:09:39.700 --> 00:09:43.320 Forgiveness is simply you choosing to bear the cost. 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:47.900 When you are sinned against, the debt could be anything. 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:50.720 It might just be your happiness that they've taken from you. 00:09:50.920 --> 00:09:52.020 It could be your reputation. 00:09:52.460 --> 00:09:55.820 It could be a relationship or any kind of opportunity. 00:09:56.220 --> 00:09:58.920 Someone has taken this thing from you and they owe you. 00:10:01.060 --> 00:10:03.120 Let's say they've done something to hurt your reputation. 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.820 You could try and deal with the debt by making them pay. 00:10:05.820 --> 00:10:07.540 You criticize them publicly. 00:10:07.760 --> 00:10:10.200 You get online and say what needs to be said. 00:10:10.740 --> 00:10:13.500 You try and pay them back to the point of your satisfaction. 00:10:16.060 --> 00:10:17.140 Or you can forgive. 00:10:18.920 --> 00:10:21.520 You can refuse to go after payback. 00:10:21.980 --> 00:10:24.620 And you can absorb the damage to your reputation. 00:10:24.820 --> 00:10:26.000 You can trust it to the Lord. 00:10:28.520 --> 00:10:29.880 And let him take care of it. 00:10:30.760 --> 00:10:32.960 Now, in both cases, there is a cost to be met. 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:35.980 But in one, they pay. 00:10:36.700 --> 00:10:38.000 In the other, you pay. 00:10:39.100 --> 00:10:40.820 Either you make them suffer for it. 00:10:41.180 --> 00:10:44.300 Or you forgive and suffer for it yourself. 00:10:46.360 --> 00:10:48.940 Forgiveness is always costly. 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:52.660 It is perhaps most costly emotionally. 00:10:53.940 --> 00:10:59.920 Because you constantly, constantly have to reframe the way that your emotional instincts want to lead you. 00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:00.960 You want revenge. 00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:01.519 Revenge. 00:11:01.800 --> 00:11:03.280 You want them to pay. 00:11:04.460 --> 00:11:05.360 And this reframing. 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.420 This coming to those thoughts and reframing them. 00:11:08.580 --> 00:11:10.460 That is hard and it is exhausting. 00:11:13.180 --> 00:11:15.600 But there are some ways that you may pay the debt yourself. 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:21.720 So, you choose to refuse to hurt the person directly. 00:11:22.420 --> 00:11:23.600 You refuse vengeance. 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:27.000 Instead, you are as civil as you can be to them. 00:11:30.040 --> 00:11:35.240 You refuse subtle ways to try an exact payment while telling yourself that you are not trying to do that. 00:11:36.019 --> 00:11:37.259 You know when you are doing that. 00:11:37.259 --> 00:11:40.879 So, you avoid critical remarks. 00:11:41.939 --> 00:11:44.799 You avoid rehearsing past wrongs. 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:47.939 Dragging up things from before. 00:11:48.939 --> 00:11:51.720 Talking about the context of our relationships together. 00:11:51.819 --> 00:11:54.159 Be that in the home or in church life. 00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:57.439 You refuse critical remarks. 00:11:57.539 --> 00:11:59.199 You refuse rehearsing past wrongs. 00:11:59.259 --> 00:12:02.539 Wanting to remind them how horrible they are and how badly they have treated you. 00:12:02.539 --> 00:12:10.519 Holding on to power is another thing we can refuse. 00:12:11.319 --> 00:12:15.120 You know what that is like when you make demands of the person because you feel that they still owe you. 00:12:16.259 --> 00:12:20.919 They are in your debt and so they need to pay that debt down. 00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:22.299 And so you have power over them. 00:12:23.620 --> 00:12:25.059 You refuse to avoid them. 00:12:25.059 --> 00:12:28.059 You refuse to emotionally check out around them. 00:12:32.219 --> 00:12:37.500 Those are subtle ways that we can exact payment while telling ourselves that we are not trying to exact payment. 00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:43.259 Another way we can pay the debt ourselves is we refuse to gossip about them. 00:12:43.719 --> 00:12:45.719 We refuse to slander them to others. 00:12:45.819 --> 00:12:48.859 Now, be careful here because in the life of the church you could present this as, 00:12:49.299 --> 00:12:51.819 Could you just pray with me about this? 00:12:52.539 --> 00:12:53.659 I'd really appreciate it. 00:12:53.659 --> 00:12:59.679 I just need to share with you how really terrible that person is and how absolutely awful they are. 00:13:00.899 --> 00:13:03.759 No, that's actually looking for sympathy. 00:13:05.259 --> 00:13:08.039 That's not actually just looking for prayer. 00:13:08.779 --> 00:13:13.779 You refuse to continually replay the wrong in your head in order to keep the hurt fresh. 00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:18.279 That's very difficult to do because the pain is so real. 00:13:18.279 --> 00:13:21.019 And you feel the pain. 00:13:21.139 --> 00:13:22.079 You feel the difficulty. 00:13:22.339 --> 00:13:24.699 And you rehearse it in your head again and again. 00:13:24.959 --> 00:13:27.240 And you replay how awful that they were. 00:13:27.379 --> 00:13:30.139 And yet what that does, it just keeps picking the scab off. 00:13:30.919 --> 00:13:32.299 So the wound is fresh. 00:13:32.860 --> 00:13:33.839 You refuse to do that. 00:13:36.100 --> 00:13:39.559 And you refuse to demonize the offender in your mind. 00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:43.899 Instead, you acknowledge that you're a sinner just like them. 00:13:45.139 --> 00:13:48.539 And rather than hoping for them to suffer, you pity their sin. 00:13:49.139 --> 00:13:55.659 Not suggesting you pity them necessarily, but you realize that their sin that they committed is a grievous thing between them and God. 00:13:55.699 --> 00:13:57.219 And you pity them for it. 00:13:57.220 --> 00:13:59.759 And you pray for their growth. 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:10.820 Now what this means is that forgiveness is actually something that you grant before it is something that you feel. 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:16.340 It is a promise not to do these things. 00:14:16.580 --> 00:14:19.040 And it is a commitment to pray for the perpetrator. 00:14:20.660 --> 00:14:24.540 Jesus says, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. 00:14:27.220 --> 00:14:30.560 It is something you grant before it is something you feel. 00:14:32.420 --> 00:14:34.220 And that is easier said than done. 00:14:36.740 --> 00:14:41.320 Speaking before his death, Sir Roger Scruton put his finger on the challenge when he said this, quote, 00:14:41.680 --> 00:14:44.060 resentment is so much easier than love. 00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:51.340 Love requires you to forgive the faults of the other, to be giving and forgiving, whereas hatred has no cost at all. 00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:56.980 I'm not sure it does have no cost at all, but you can see the point that he's making. 00:14:57.220 --> 00:14:59.080 And we feel that instinctively. 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:04.500 It's far easier to follow our anger, to follow our bitterness, than it is to refuse to go that way. 00:15:08.259 --> 00:15:10.840 Tim Keller in his book on forgiveness puts it this way. 00:15:10.840 --> 00:15:15.720 Though it is extremely difficult and painful, you are bearing the cost of the sin yourself. 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:23.980 Forgiveness will deepen your character, free you to talk to and help the person, and lead to love and peace rather than bitterness. 00:15:24.740 --> 00:15:29.560 Further, by bearing the cost of the sin, you are walking in the path of your master. 00:15:30.300 --> 00:15:31.680 Matthew 18, Colossians 3. 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:36.419 Forgiveness is never easy. 00:15:36.759 --> 00:15:37.439 It is costly. 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:45.459 But secondly, 14 and 15 make clear, chapter 6. 00:15:45.460 --> 00:15:51.280 For the Christian, there's no way around it. 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:53.300 It is required. 00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:55.860 Matthew 6, 14. 00:15:55.940 --> 00:15:59.420 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 00:15:59.419 --> 00:16:05.659 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:16.599 I pointed out when we discussed this section in the series on the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus is not saying here, if you do this, then God will do that in some kind of trade. 00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:18.840 That would be out of step with the rest of the New Testament. 00:16:19.019 --> 00:16:26.440 He is saying the way that you will know if you have experienced the Father's grace is if you extend grace to others. 00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:34.519 Or to put it more bluntly, if you don't extend forgiveness to others, it looks like you don't know the Father's forgiveness in your own life. 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:41.259 If you are not a forgiving person, there's every chance that you're not a forgiven person. 00:16:41.259 --> 00:16:48.939 As we have forgiven our debtors, necessarily flows from forgive us our debts. 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.759 In that sense, we are required to forgive. 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:58.220 This is a recurring theme in the Apostle Paul's writing. 00:16:58.360 --> 00:16:59.500 In Colossians 3, he says, 00:16:59.860 --> 00:17:04.000 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:06.379 Whatever grievances. 00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:10.240 What's not on the list of whatever grievances? 00:17:10.460 --> 00:17:10.740 Nothing. 00:17:12.259 --> 00:17:15.400 And Paul calls for this on the basis of Jesus' atonement for our sins. 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:16.160 He goes on, 00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:19.920 As the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. 00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:21.180 It's the same point. 00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:26.019 He's simply just repackaging what Jesus says here in Matthew 6. 00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:34.140 If you profess to be a Christian, you are required to forgive those who wrong you. 00:17:36.299 --> 00:17:37.779 You must let go of bitterness. 00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:44.259 Instead, to go on in Colossians 3, you must put on love, which binds everything together in harmony. 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:47.399 You are required to forego resentment and anger. 00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:50.980 And this is to be true. 00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:57.180 Even when the person who has wronged you doesn't say sorry and doesn't ask for forgiveness. 00:17:57.180 --> 00:18:02.240 Now, some theologians differ on this point. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.360 Some say you can't forgive someone who hasn't asked for forgiveness. 00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:10.359 So, a sin that isn't repented of can't, by definition, be forgiven. 00:18:10.359 --> 00:18:17.639 Now, there's a certain logic to this, but there are also problems, not least the problem of what it does to us when we hold on to resentment, anger, and bitterness. 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:27.240 And I said at the beginning, you remember the face of that person, you remember the name of that person, and it still has those kind of physical effects on you. 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:33.500 When we hold on to these things, they don't do us any good. 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:42.819 But the main concern I have with that way of thinking is the unqualified way that Jesus speaks about it, both in our passage here and elsewhere. 00:18:43.019 --> 00:18:44.940 Think about this, Mark 11, 25. 00:18:44.940 --> 00:18:48.960 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him. 00:18:50.299 --> 00:18:56.920 He doesn't say forgive him if he repents, but rather forgive him in your heart in that moment as you are praying. 00:19:00.180 --> 00:19:05.080 It is something you commit to before it is something that you feel. 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:13.500 God requires us to forgive whether or not the offender has repented or has asked for forgiveness. 00:19:13.500 --> 00:19:21.859 Now, it's really important for me to say that this doesn't mean that we have no concern for justice. 00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:27.240 These words from the lips of Jesus are not the only thing that he has to say about what to do in the face of wrongdoing. 00:19:27.660 --> 00:19:31.519 He tells his disciples in Luke 17, verse 3, to rebuke the wrongdoer. 00:19:32.140 --> 00:19:33.779 We are to confront wrongdoing. 00:19:34.299 --> 00:19:38.859 We are to call people out on their sin, and there will often be consequences for that sin. 00:19:38.859 --> 00:19:41.220 There is such a thing as church discipline. 00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:50.200 And not to do this is unloving because sin is so destructive to us and so offensive to God that if we are just to... 00:19:50.200 --> 00:19:54.799 Don't hear me as saying we just leave it unchecked and we just forgive everybody no matter what. 00:19:57.819 --> 00:20:00.339 While leaving justice just to kind of do its own thing. 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:02.420 We don't brush stuff under the carpet. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:04.740 To do that is actually terribly unloving. 00:20:04.740 --> 00:20:11.640 But Jesus still follows the call to rebuke with, if he repents, forgive him, Luke 17. 00:20:12.539 --> 00:20:15.440 So what he's saying is, yes, we do confront wrong. 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:17.700 We do pursue justice. 00:20:18.539 --> 00:20:22.920 But the way that we do it, even the way that we do that must bear forgiveness in mind. 00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:32.620 So Jesus calls us both to practice internal forgiveness in our hearts and to rebuke and correct. 00:20:32.740 --> 00:20:33.600 It's not either or. 00:20:33.840 --> 00:20:35.940 You don't forgive people at the expense of justice. 00:20:39.180 --> 00:20:41.340 We deal with our hearts and we deal with the issue. 00:20:42.920 --> 00:20:46.120 But even in that context, we refuse the right to pay back. 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:52.699 At a personal level, we usually get this the wrong way around. 00:20:52.919 --> 00:20:54.799 We don't pursue justice on the outside. 00:20:54.979 --> 00:20:55.599 We don't confront. 00:20:55.739 --> 00:20:57.500 We don't challenge someone who wrongs us. 00:20:59.419 --> 00:21:02.139 At a personal level, in our relationships, we withdraw. 00:21:03.019 --> 00:21:06.199 Because it's painful to have to go and speak to that person and to call them out. 00:21:06.959 --> 00:21:08.259 So we don't do that. 00:21:08.459 --> 00:21:10.719 And we do hold on to resentment on the inside. 00:21:11.579 --> 00:21:13.899 And Jesus tells us to turn this completely around. 00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:21.000 And actually, he's saying you can only do the external bit properly if you've done the internal bit. 00:21:21.099 --> 00:21:22.259 If your heart is right. 00:21:23.399 --> 00:21:26.159 If your disposition is to forgive and to be gracious. 00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:31.239 Only then will your motives or your words be appropriate to confront. 00:21:33.659 --> 00:21:34.759 Forgiveness is costly. 00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:38.599 But it is required for followers of Jesus. 00:21:40.259 --> 00:21:43.059 Now, in saying this, I don't want to sound flippant or glib. 00:21:43.059 --> 00:21:48.700 I'm not for a moment suggesting you're struggling with resentment. 00:21:48.859 --> 00:21:49.480 Get over it. 00:21:49.619 --> 00:21:50.839 You're required to forgive. 00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:51.720 Not at all. 00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:57.359 The extent of many of our grievances, it's fair to say, are fairly minor in the wider scheme of things. 00:21:57.539 --> 00:21:59.659 But some of us have had deep griefs to bear. 00:22:00.740 --> 00:22:03.559 And I'm aware of how hard that this sort of thing can sound. 00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:06.899 How difficult this idea is. 00:22:06.900 --> 00:22:09.880 And yet, the teaching still applies. 00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:17.280 So, what do we do when this task does sound so difficult? 00:22:18.120 --> 00:22:22.340 When, up to this point, you've been just simply internally thinking, this is impossible. 00:22:22.339 --> 00:22:26.939 I know it says it, but actually, there must be some other way. 00:22:27.059 --> 00:22:29.539 Because I cannot imagine this ever being possible. 00:22:31.500 --> 00:22:34.319 Well, then, we need to remember, thirdly, that forgiveness is possible. 00:22:34.759 --> 00:22:35.299 It's costly. 00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:36.099 It's required. 00:22:36.259 --> 00:22:37.039 Thirdly, it's possible. 00:22:37.459 --> 00:22:39.720 Remember how the Lord's Prayer starts. 00:22:40.199 --> 00:22:41.980 Remember how the whole Sermon on the Mount started. 00:22:42.339 --> 00:22:46.119 Jesus gathers his disciples to teach them how to live as citizens of God's kingdom. 00:22:46.119 --> 00:22:50.279 This is a prayer for those who know God as Father. 00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:54.399 For those who have been reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. 00:22:54.779 --> 00:22:55.799 And it is this gospel. 00:22:56.159 --> 00:23:00.659 It is this gospel of free grace given to us by the Father through the Son. 00:23:00.899 --> 00:23:02.619 Applied to us by the Holy Spirit. 00:23:03.239 --> 00:23:06.779 Not on the basis of what we have done, but on the basis of what He has done. 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:11.379 In the life, death, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ on our account. 00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:15.519 It gives us the resources for a life of forgiveness. 00:23:16.180 --> 00:23:19.779 Resources that one author has called emotional humility on the one hand. 00:23:20.059 --> 00:23:22.099 And emotional wealth on the other. 00:23:24.420 --> 00:23:27.440 Why do you remain bitter and resentful towards someone? 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:30.079 Why do I feel that way about someone? 00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:33.680 I can only do that if I feel superior in some way. 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:38.519 If I think to myself, when it all comes down to it, I would never do anything like that. 00:23:41.379 --> 00:23:45.299 But if you refuse to forgive someone, you are blind to your own sinfulness. 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:46.839 And your own need for forgiveness. 00:23:47.099 --> 00:23:50.680 And your own capacity to commit exactly the same sin. 00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:56.660 When Paul, the apostle Paul describes himself as the chief of sinners in 1 Timothy 1. 00:23:56.859 --> 00:23:58.019 He is not exaggerating. 00:23:58.859 --> 00:24:00.859 He is saying that he is capable of sin. 00:24:00.859 --> 00:24:05.740 He is as capable of sin as the worst kind of people are. 00:24:08.159 --> 00:24:09.139 What has happened there? 00:24:09.199 --> 00:24:12.839 The gospel has given him emotional humility. 00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:15.679 And he sees himself as he really is. 00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:18.319 He's the chief of sinners. 00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:19.459 He is capable. 00:24:19.619 --> 00:24:23.039 The seeds of every possible sin are in his heart. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:29.779 This is one of the sure signs that the gospel has taken root in our lives. 00:24:30.259 --> 00:24:33.859 It brings us low in the right way with an emotional humility. 00:24:34.940 --> 00:24:37.519 We know we aren't better than others. 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:43.379 At the same time, you can't forgive someone. 00:24:43.539 --> 00:24:45.819 You can't pay the required debt if you're insecure. 00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:50.319 That is, if you need to uphold a particular reputation. 00:24:50.619 --> 00:24:53.019 If you need to have certain things in your life. 00:24:53.720 --> 00:24:58.339 If those things are such a need to you that you cannot let them go. 00:24:59.099 --> 00:25:00.839 By definition, you're going to be insecure. 00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:02.599 You're not going to be able to forgive. 00:25:02.599 --> 00:25:07.099 You can't let those things go without someone paying. 00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:09.419 That actually is emotional poverty. 00:25:11.059 --> 00:25:15.139 However, if you know God's love. 00:25:16.099 --> 00:25:18.500 If you have experienced his forgiveness. 00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:24.579 Then the truth is that there's actually a limit to how deeply another person can hurt you. 00:25:26.399 --> 00:25:28.279 They can cause you real sadness. 00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:32.459 But they can't touch your true identity. 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:35.599 They can cause you real pain. 00:25:35.899 --> 00:25:39.500 But they can't undo your security in Christ. 00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:44.179 They can't therefore actually get to your real wealth. 00:25:44.679 --> 00:25:45.659 What is your real wealth? 00:25:45.740 --> 00:25:47.799 Your real wealth is your in Christness. 00:25:49.579 --> 00:25:52.459 So the more you appreciate your own forgiveness. 00:25:52.980 --> 00:25:55.179 And what that means for your identity. 00:25:56.439 --> 00:25:59.699 The fact that you're dearly loved by the Father of glory. 00:25:59.700 --> 00:26:02.500 The fact that he looks on you and he says, 00:26:02.700 --> 00:26:03.980 I am well pleased. 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:05.620 You are my beloved. 00:26:08.620 --> 00:26:14.019 The more that we meditate on that, the easier we will find it to forgive others. 00:26:14.019 --> 00:26:16.259 Because we're grounded in emotional wealth. 00:26:16.259 --> 00:26:19.059 We know who we are. 00:26:19.059 --> 00:26:27.579 In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we have the resources we need to forgive every wrong. 00:26:27.579 --> 00:26:35.279 In marriages, between parents and children, between siblings, with friends, colleagues, anyone. 00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:37.980 And especially in church life. 00:26:37.980 --> 00:26:41.860 Again, this doesn't mean it will be easy. 00:26:42.259 --> 00:26:46.039 Maintaining good relationships in a community as diverse as a church is really tough. 00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:50.279 Jesus' mission is to bring people who are as different as can be together. 00:26:50.279 --> 00:26:54.879 Don Carson says this, 00:26:54.879 --> 00:26:59.960 The reason there are so many exhortations in the New Testament for Christians to love other Christians 00:26:59.960 --> 00:27:03.960 is because the church itself is not made up of natural friends. 00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:06.240 It is made up of natural enemies. 00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:12.359 What binds us together is not common education, common race, common income levels, common politics, 00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:15.579 common nationality, or anything else of that sort. 00:27:16.019 --> 00:27:20.380 Christians come together because they have all been saved by Jesus Christ and owe him a common allegiance. 00:27:21.620 --> 00:27:25.599 Christian love will stand out and bear witness to Jesus because it is a display, 00:27:25.859 --> 00:27:31.359 for Jesus' sake, of mutual love among social incompatibles. 00:27:31.359 --> 00:28:01.339 Jesus' sake, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, 00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:04.259 difference doesn't just evaporate as we go up there. 00:28:04.259 --> 00:28:07.439 It does theologically, but it doesn't emotionally. 00:28:09.299 --> 00:28:16.459 And so that is why we've got to keep going back to the realities of the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ 00:28:16.459 --> 00:28:22.799 and what that does in taking away our sin and in uniting us to one another. 00:28:24.740 --> 00:28:29.399 The possibility for offense in the church of the Lord Jesus Christ is significant 00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:33.080 because we all come from different backgrounds. 00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:38.160 But if we resolve to work together in the power of the Holy Spirit, 00:28:38.420 --> 00:28:43.440 to be slow to take offense, to be quick to cover grievances, 00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:49.160 to refuse the resentment that is crippling our culture because we're called to, yes, 00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:51.300 but also because we can. 00:28:52.660 --> 00:28:54.519 We'll personally be much happier. 00:28:55.019 --> 00:28:58.720 We'll have greater unity as a body, as a church. 00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:03.900 But we'll also send a message to the wider world about the power of a gospel 00:29:03.900 --> 00:29:07.680 in an area of life which they simply do not have answers for. 00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:11.279 So let's resolve to do that. 00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:16.620 Nobody said it would be easy, but it is possible. 00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:18.759 Let's pray together. 00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:19.339 Let's pray together. 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:19.339 00:29:19.339 --> 00:29:49.319 Thank you.