WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.600 How would you describe the structure of your home? 00:00:05.520 --> 00:00:15.439 Now, first thing that goes through your mind with a question like that is something like brick or vinyl, wood, but that's not what I'm talking about. 00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:27.580 I'm asking about something far more important, like the role of husbands and wives and parents and children. 00:00:27.579 --> 00:00:32.659 This is the second of a series on building a healthy home. 00:00:33.379 --> 00:00:36.500 We looked last week at the foundation for the healthy home. 00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:45.179 Today we're going to look at the first part of the structure of a healthy home and focus on the relationship between husbands and wives. 00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:49.079 We're going to turn to Ephesians chapter 5. 00:00:50.299 --> 00:00:53.140 Really it's verses 21 through 33. 00:00:53.140 --> 00:01:03.179 We're going to do this because this is the most extensive teaching in the New Testament on the role of husbands and wives. 00:01:03.760 --> 00:01:12.140 From Ephesians 5.21 through chapter 6 verse 9, this is what is commonly referred to as the household code. 00:01:14.439 --> 00:01:20.500 How to live together in a Christian home, various kinds of relationships. 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:36.740 I want us to begin with verse 21 because I think it's really vitally important to get this in our minds before we move into the details about wives and husbands. 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:41.879 Verse 21 talks about Christian relationships in general. 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:43.439 Look at it. 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:52.859 It's at the end of the paragraph in the ESV translation, in the New American Standard translation. 00:01:53.379 --> 00:01:54.859 I'm going to be reading from the ESV. 00:01:55.319 --> 00:02:02.120 The end of the paragraph, verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:19.460 Now, some translations in this room, the next paragraph about wives and husbands, it begins, submit yourself to one another. 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:21.980 Or submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:28.759 The NIV actually has it as a stand-alone sentence, sort of like its own paragraph. 00:02:28.759 --> 00:02:35.979 And the reason for this is this verse 21 is what's called a bridge verse. 00:02:36.539 --> 00:02:45.579 It concludes the preceding paragraph that's been talking about what it means to live a spirit-filled or spirit-controlled life. 00:02:46.459 --> 00:02:51.019 It concludes what it means, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:57.300 And it also introduces the whole idea of Christian living in the home. 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:10.379 If we really want to have the best possible relationships in the home, we've got to have this mentality, I'm in that home to serve you. 00:03:10.939 --> 00:03:15.060 Whether it be your wife, your husband, your parent, your child, whoever. 00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:27.640 However, the idea is that when a Christian is filled or controlled by the Holy Spirit, he or she will seek to serve their family members. 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:31.680 And then Paul goes on beginning in verse 22 to describe how. 00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:37.620 But I think John MacArthur gets us started well with his comment on verse 21. 00:03:38.020 --> 00:03:38.860 Look at it with me. 00:03:38.860 --> 00:03:45.060 He says Christian marriages and families are to be radically different from those of the world. 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:45.940 Let me pause here. 00:03:46.780 --> 00:03:49.300 What we're talking about is the Christian home. 00:03:51.380 --> 00:03:58.340 What we're talking about is God's design, even for today, for husband-wife relationships. 00:03:59.340 --> 00:04:00.060 Look on. 00:04:00.060 --> 00:04:18.360 The relationships between husbands and wives and parents and children is to be so bathed in humility, love, and mutual submission that the authority of husbands and parents, though exercised when necessary, become almost invisible. 00:04:19.019 --> 00:04:25.180 And the submission of wives and children is no more than acting in the spirit of gracious love. 00:04:26.620 --> 00:04:28.819 It's important that we begin here. 00:04:28.819 --> 00:04:35.579 Now let's move on to the instructions to wives in verses 22 through 24. 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:36.860 Read with me. 00:04:38.579 --> 00:04:42.040 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:49.920 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:58.100 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 00:04:58.819 --> 00:05:05.839 Now, I can tell that the blood pressure has risen in some women out here right now. 00:05:06.279 --> 00:05:11.519 So let's go right to that word that got you all stirred up in verse 22. 00:05:12.120 --> 00:05:16.199 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:05:16.199 --> 00:05:22.420 It's important that we understand what this word does and does not mean. 00:05:22.420 --> 00:05:35.839 As we go through this message this morning, you're going to detect that I'm trying to emphasize what the scripture does say and what it does not say. 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:46.779 And I'm really going to focus in on the responsibilities of husbands, which is what the majority of this whole section is all about to begin with. 00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:51.779 It's important that we understand what the word submit here does not mean. 00:05:52.179 --> 00:05:53.819 Number one, it does not mean obey. 00:05:53.819 --> 00:05:58.620 In chapter 6, children are told to obey their parents. 00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:02.099 Slaves are told to obey their masters. 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:04.519 Paul knows the word obey. 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:08.120 He uses it in this big context. 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:14.579 But he does not use the word obey to describe how wives should respond to their husbands. 00:06:15.459 --> 00:06:20.639 Number two, submission does not mean doing whatever a husband demands. 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:30.939 A wife should not, hear this, a wife should never submit to the demand of a husband that would cause her to sin. 00:06:32.019 --> 00:06:41.740 Wives should have the same attitude as the apostles when they refused to submit to the Jewish authorities in Jerusalem who told them, 00:06:42.180 --> 00:06:44.039 do not preach about Jesus anymore. 00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:46.779 Do not talk about the resurrection of Jesus anymore. 00:06:46.779 --> 00:06:50.899 Therefore, they were the duly appointed authorities. 00:06:51.739 --> 00:06:55.439 But the apostles looked at them and said, we must obey God rather than men. 00:06:55.579 --> 00:06:56.500 That's in Acts 5. 00:06:58.059 --> 00:07:03.019 A wife should not submit to a husband who would abuse her or her children. 00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:05.439 Let me emphasize that. 00:07:06.379 --> 00:07:07.379 Women in this room, 00:07:07.379 --> 00:07:16.839 You do not have to remain in an abusive situation, you or your children, 00:07:17.439 --> 00:07:20.019 and think it's a part of your Christian responsibility. 00:07:20.339 --> 00:07:21.180 It is not. 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:31.519 Paul did not submit himself to abuse by Roman authorities when possible. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:37.079 What he did is he exercised his rights as a Roman citizen. 00:07:37.359 --> 00:07:39.079 You can read in Acts 16, 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:46.159 how Paul actually pitched a fit 00:07:46.159 --> 00:07:49.000 because he had been mistreated. 00:07:49.259 --> 00:07:52.539 He had been beaten without a trial, without any charges really. 00:07:53.819 --> 00:07:55.159 He was a Roman citizen. 00:07:56.180 --> 00:08:00.299 He demanded recourse and he got it by the officials. 00:08:00.300 --> 00:08:02.759 There was another case where Paul, 00:08:03.740 --> 00:08:05.139 he didn't just cave in. 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:08.720 He spoke up, told him, I'm a Roman citizen. 00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:12.000 And in that society, a Roman citizen had certain rights 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:14.400 and could not be abused, 00:08:14.740 --> 00:08:18.120 could not be beaten as they wanted to do him. 00:08:19.080 --> 00:08:20.900 So we have in Scripture 00:08:20.900 --> 00:08:23.939 examples of Christian leaders 00:08:23.939 --> 00:08:26.540 refusing to submit 00:08:26.540 --> 00:08:28.439 submit to anyone 00:08:28.439 --> 00:08:30.319 who might cause them, 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:31.520 try to get them to sin 00:08:31.520 --> 00:08:34.340 or who was going to abuse them, 00:08:34.659 --> 00:08:35.659 harm them in any way. 00:08:36.940 --> 00:08:38.940 Submit does not mean that. 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:40.600 Understand that clearly. 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:42.320 Well, what does it mean? 00:08:43.100 --> 00:08:44.519 It means she must voluntarily 00:08:44.519 --> 00:08:45.920 choose 00:08:45.920 --> 00:08:48.100 to submit to her husband's leadership 00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:50.700 because the word for submit here 00:08:50.700 --> 00:08:54.000 means voluntary submission. 00:08:54.560 --> 00:08:56.240 It could be translated, 00:08:56.540 --> 00:08:59.580 wives, submit yourselves. 00:09:01.860 --> 00:09:04.540 I want every husband in this room to understand, 00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:08.040 you must not, 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:11.100 you have no grounds, 00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:12.080 biblically speaking, 00:09:12.460 --> 00:09:13.980 to ever look at your wife and say, 00:09:14.060 --> 00:09:16.300 do you know it's your responsibility to submit to me? 00:09:16.299 --> 00:09:18.279 This would not be right, 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:20.479 but she ought to just jack your jaw if you do that. 00:09:21.240 --> 00:09:22.599 That would not be right now. 00:09:23.120 --> 00:09:24.000 That would not be right. 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:26.639 You can't abuse him just like he can't abuse you. 00:09:27.620 --> 00:09:28.799 But I just want to point out, 00:09:30.179 --> 00:09:31.099 some men 00:09:31.099 --> 00:09:36.259 like to quote this verse to their wife. 00:09:37.259 --> 00:09:39.339 Such a man is an idiot. 00:09:39.959 --> 00:09:41.120 He really is. 00:09:42.219 --> 00:09:43.179 And if that's you, 00:09:43.419 --> 00:09:45.459 you are an idiot with a capital I. 00:09:45.460 --> 00:09:47.379 If that's how you talk to your wife, 00:09:47.940 --> 00:09:48.820 I want you to hear that. 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:52.500 This is part of a Christian's wife, 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:53.860 this is part of a Christian's, 00:09:53.860 --> 00:09:55.960 Christian wife's responsibility 00:09:55.960 --> 00:09:58.220 to the Lord. 00:09:58.700 --> 00:09:59.280 Look at it. 00:09:59.519 --> 00:10:01.120 Wives, submit to your own husbands 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:02.040 as to the Lord. 00:10:03.400 --> 00:10:04.960 She doesn't submit to her husband 00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:06.340 as if he's the Lord. 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:09.960 She submits as a part of 00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:11.879 her commitment to Christ. 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:13.960 A part of her being faithful to him 00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:16.539 is she follows these instructions. 00:10:19.139 --> 00:10:21.779 Some wives are married to men 00:10:21.779 --> 00:10:24.179 who are not worthy of her submission 00:10:24.179 --> 00:10:25.879 for various reasons. 00:10:27.399 --> 00:10:29.639 But ladies, don't jump up and say, 00:10:29.740 --> 00:10:30.439 that's me, okay? 00:10:30.700 --> 00:10:32.480 Don't embarrass him here. 00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:35.879 It wouldn't serve a good purpose. 00:10:35.879 --> 00:10:38.279 The truth is, 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:41.139 he may know 00:10:41.139 --> 00:10:44.100 that he's not worthy. 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:47.000 He may know. 00:10:47.860 --> 00:10:50.580 He may feel very uncomfortable right now 00:10:50.580 --> 00:10:53.919 because he knows of some of the ways 00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:58.100 he acts or talks to you. 00:10:59.100 --> 00:11:01.639 And he is not worthy of your submission. 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:04.720 So here's what you need to do. 00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:07.019 Keep in mind 00:11:07.019 --> 00:11:07.679 that he is, 00:11:07.879 --> 00:11:09.699 that you're not ultimately 00:11:09.699 --> 00:11:11.220 submitting to him. 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:14.139 Ultimately, according to this passage, 00:11:14.519 --> 00:11:15.379 you're doing this 00:11:15.379 --> 00:11:17.159 as if you're working for the Lord. 00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:19.639 And God will honor that 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:23.120 as you are doing it unto him. 00:11:24.019 --> 00:11:25.819 Now, there's another reason given 00:11:25.819 --> 00:11:27.200 for why wives are to submit. 00:11:27.779 --> 00:11:28.679 Look at verse 23. 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:31.580 For the husband is the head of the wife 00:11:31.580 --> 00:11:33.540 even as Christ is the head of the church, 00:11:33.900 --> 00:11:34.639 his body, 00:11:34.920 --> 00:11:36.740 and is himself its savior. 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:38.759 God has assigned husbands 00:11:38.759 --> 00:11:39.660 with the responsibility 00:11:39.660 --> 00:11:41.879 of being the leader in the home. 00:11:42.139 --> 00:11:43.379 That's what the passage is saying. 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:46.700 But this does not mean 00:11:46.700 --> 00:11:48.720 that the husband is superior 00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:50.759 to his wife in any way. 00:11:51.500 --> 00:11:52.300 Both men and women 00:11:52.300 --> 00:11:53.280 are created equally 00:11:53.280 --> 00:11:54.700 in the image of God. 00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:56.240 Most of you know that. 00:11:56.680 --> 00:11:57.480 As a reminder, 00:11:57.480 --> 00:11:59.160 look at what it says in Genesis 1. 00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:01.059 So God created man 00:12:01.059 --> 00:12:01.919 in his own image. 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:02.860 In the image of God, 00:12:02.939 --> 00:12:03.860 he created him. 00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:05.279 Male and female, 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:06.699 he created them. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:08.699 That tells us 00:12:08.699 --> 00:12:10.319 all human beings 00:12:10.319 --> 00:12:11.819 are of equal worth, 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:12.799 value, 00:12:13.299 --> 00:12:13.799 dignity, 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:14.740 respect, 00:12:15.379 --> 00:12:15.779 honor. 00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:18.120 All human beings. 00:12:19.019 --> 00:12:20.179 Everybody in your home 00:12:20.179 --> 00:12:22.719 created in the image of God. 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:24.420 Therefore, 00:12:24.840 --> 00:12:26.920 it's wrong to think 00:12:26.920 --> 00:12:28.960 of the idea 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:30.120 of being submissive 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:32.759 as a put down 00:12:32.759 --> 00:12:34.220 to women, 00:12:34.500 --> 00:12:35.139 of women, 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:36.779 as if they were somehow 00:12:36.779 --> 00:12:37.600 inferior. 00:12:37.820 --> 00:12:38.740 That is not 00:12:38.740 --> 00:12:40.440 even implied 00:12:40.440 --> 00:12:42.639 in what is being taught here. 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:44.019 We're going to come back 00:12:44.019 --> 00:12:44.500 to this verse 00:12:44.500 --> 00:12:45.360 at the end of the message. 00:12:45.620 --> 00:12:46.279 Let's move on now 00:12:46.279 --> 00:12:47.100 to the responsibility 00:12:47.100 --> 00:12:48.080 of husbands. 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:51.200 And this is where 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:52.340 you have the lengthiest 00:12:52.340 --> 00:12:53.400 discussion. 00:12:53.620 --> 00:12:54.560 Look in verse 25. 00:12:55.560 --> 00:12:56.020 Husbands, 00:12:56.420 --> 00:12:57.540 love your wives 00:12:57.540 --> 00:12:58.960 as Christ loved the church 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:00.160 and gave himself 00:13:00.160 --> 00:13:01.060 up for her 00:13:01.060 --> 00:13:02.020 that he might 00:13:02.020 --> 00:13:03.020 sanctify her 00:13:03.020 --> 00:13:04.320 having cleansed her 00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:05.020 by the washing 00:13:05.020 --> 00:13:06.480 of water with the word 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:07.400 so that he might 00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:08.400 present the church 00:13:08.400 --> 00:13:09.080 to himself 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:10.200 in splendor 00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:11.379 without spot 00:13:11.379 --> 00:13:12.040 or wrinkle 00:13:12.040 --> 00:13:13.360 or any such thing 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:14.960 that she might be holy 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:16.440 and without blemish. 00:13:16.780 --> 00:13:17.620 In the same way, 00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:19.340 husbands should love 00:13:19.340 --> 00:13:20.100 their wives 00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:21.240 as their own bodies. 00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:22.860 He who loves his wife 00:13:22.860 --> 00:13:23.620 loves himself. 00:13:24.100 --> 00:13:25.679 For no one ever hated 00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:26.639 his own flesh, 00:13:26.980 --> 00:13:27.600 his own body, 00:13:27.779 --> 00:13:28.720 but nourishes 00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:29.879 and cherishes it 00:13:29.879 --> 00:13:31.120 just as Christ 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:32.159 does the church 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:33.700 because we are members 00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:34.820 of his body. 00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:36.080 Therefore, 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:37.860 this is what we looked at 00:13:37.860 --> 00:13:38.960 last week in detail. 00:13:39.560 --> 00:13:40.779 A man shall leave 00:13:40.779 --> 00:13:41.700 his father and mother 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:42.480 and hold fast 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:43.120 to his wife 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:44.259 and the two shall become 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:45.639 one flesh. 00:13:46.139 --> 00:13:47.100 This mystery 00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:48.139 is profound 00:13:48.139 --> 00:13:49.440 and I'm saying 00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:50.159 that it refers 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:50.879 to Christ 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:51.920 and the church. 00:13:52.259 --> 00:13:52.659 However, 00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:53.740 let each one of you 00:13:53.740 --> 00:13:54.980 love his wife 00:13:54.980 --> 00:13:55.759 as himself 00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:56.700 and let the wife 00:13:56.700 --> 00:13:57.899 see that she respects 00:13:57.899 --> 00:13:58.940 her husband. 00:14:00.860 --> 00:14:01.360 Now, 00:14:01.420 --> 00:14:02.019 I want you to note, 00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:02.700 men, 00:14:03.700 --> 00:14:06.040 there's a whole lot 00:14:06.040 --> 00:14:06.680 more ink 00:14:06.680 --> 00:14:07.980 being spilled here 00:14:07.980 --> 00:14:09.180 about you 00:14:09.179 --> 00:14:11.519 and the major point, 00:14:11.899 --> 00:14:13.419 I know you didn't miss it, 00:14:14.339 --> 00:14:16.079 you are to love 00:14:16.079 --> 00:14:16.699 your wife. 00:14:17.099 --> 00:14:17.979 The major point 00:14:17.979 --> 00:14:18.439 and what we just 00:14:18.439 --> 00:14:19.099 then read is 00:14:19.099 --> 00:14:21.059 make loving your wife 00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:22.179 your priority. 00:14:22.539 --> 00:14:23.799 Look at these examples. 00:14:23.959 --> 00:14:24.359 Look again, 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:25.199 verse 25, 00:14:25.599 --> 00:14:26.819 husbands love your wives 00:14:26.819 --> 00:14:28.039 as Christ loved the church 00:14:28.039 --> 00:14:28.959 and gave himself up 00:14:28.959 --> 00:14:29.299 for her. 00:14:30.059 --> 00:14:30.759 Verse 28, 00:14:31.019 --> 00:14:31.739 in the same way, 00:14:31.839 --> 00:14:32.699 husbands should love 00:14:32.699 --> 00:14:33.299 their wives 00:14:33.299 --> 00:14:34.500 as their own bodies. 00:14:34.719 --> 00:14:36.019 He who loves his wife 00:14:36.019 --> 00:14:36.759 loves himself. 00:14:36.759 --> 00:14:37.919 Verse 33, 00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:38.700 the first part, 00:14:39.019 --> 00:14:39.200 however, 00:14:39.379 --> 00:14:40.480 let each of you 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:42.179 love his wife 00:14:42.179 --> 00:14:43.600 as himself. 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:46.799 When you go home today, 00:14:46.899 --> 00:14:47.179 men, 00:14:48.939 --> 00:14:51.500 I hope men and women, 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:51.799 husbands, 00:14:51.939 --> 00:14:52.159 wives, 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:53.519 you'll discuss this. 00:14:54.939 --> 00:14:56.159 But I hope men, 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:58.019 you will be honest 00:14:58.019 --> 00:15:00.399 and your discussion 00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:01.179 will focus on 00:15:01.179 --> 00:15:03.580 what's most emphasized here, 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.480 you loving your wife. 00:15:06.759 --> 00:15:09.139 note two examples 00:15:09.139 --> 00:15:09.720 of how husbands 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:10.679 are to love their wives 00:15:10.679 --> 00:15:11.299 in these verses. 00:15:11.740 --> 00:15:12.159 Number one, 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:12.899 a husband should love 00:15:12.899 --> 00:15:13.340 his wife 00:15:13.340 --> 00:15:14.460 the way Christ 00:15:14.460 --> 00:15:16.000 loved the church. 00:15:18.299 --> 00:15:19.139 What kind of love 00:15:19.139 --> 00:15:19.480 is that? 00:15:19.559 --> 00:15:19.639 Well, 00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:20.200 it's obvious. 00:15:21.179 --> 00:15:22.759 Jesus gave his life. 00:15:23.139 --> 00:15:23.919 We're talking about 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:25.919 a self-giving love, 00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:28.120 a sacrificial love here. 00:15:29.580 --> 00:15:31.100 Giving your all. 00:15:32.319 --> 00:15:33.939 That's what Jesus did 00:15:33.939 --> 00:15:34.819 for the church. 00:15:34.820 --> 00:15:37.900 Look at the next point. 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:39.200 A husband should also 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:39.980 love his wife 00:15:39.980 --> 00:15:42.300 as he loves himself. 00:15:43.260 --> 00:15:44.160 Paul says, 00:15:45.180 --> 00:15:45.820 but Christ nourishes 00:15:46.379 --> 00:15:48.020 and cherishes the church 00:15:48.020 --> 00:15:49.240 because the church 00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:50.320 is a part of his body. 00:15:50.780 --> 00:15:51.440 One of the ways, 00:15:51.520 --> 00:15:52.120 some of the ways 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:52.560 the New Testament 00:15:52.560 --> 00:15:53.860 describes the church 00:15:53.860 --> 00:15:54.379 and Jesus, 00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:55.320 he's the head, 00:15:55.420 --> 00:15:55.940 we're the body. 00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:57.620 Sometimes we're just 00:15:57.620 --> 00:15:58.120 simply called 00:15:58.120 --> 00:15:59.480 the body of Christ. 00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:03.060 Christ loves the church, 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:04.060 his people, 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:05.460 his body. 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:06.980 He gave himself. 00:16:09.639 --> 00:16:10.860 That is our model. 00:16:11.820 --> 00:16:12.820 A husband should love 00:16:12.820 --> 00:16:13.220 his wife 00:16:13.220 --> 00:16:14.340 as he loves himself. 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:15.879 A husband should love 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:16.860 and take care of his wife 00:16:16.860 --> 00:16:17.860 just as he takes care 00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:18.379 of himself. 00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:21.560 And we do like 00:16:21.560 --> 00:16:22.420 to take care of ourselves, 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:23.100 don't we guys? 00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:25.639 We take care of ourselves, 00:16:25.860 --> 00:16:27.279 we take care of our stuff. 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:29.419 Some of you 00:16:29.419 --> 00:16:31.220 might have been late 00:16:31.220 --> 00:16:32.240 coming to church today. 00:16:32.620 --> 00:16:33.519 Some of you 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:35.419 were close to being late. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:37.399 And I bet if we took a poll, 00:16:38.199 --> 00:16:39.299 it wasn't because 00:16:39.299 --> 00:16:40.120 the wife 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:41.799 was running behind 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:43.360 taking care of herself. 00:16:44.059 --> 00:16:45.339 There's a lot of men in here, 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:47.339 you spend a whole lot of time 00:16:47.339 --> 00:16:48.419 taking care of yourself 00:16:48.419 --> 00:16:49.439 because that's just 00:16:49.439 --> 00:16:50.259 what you do. 00:16:51.019 --> 00:16:52.579 That's what we do 00:16:52.579 --> 00:16:53.339 as men. 00:16:53.539 --> 00:16:54.919 We look out for ourselves. 00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:56.659 Paul is not commending that. 00:16:56.659 --> 00:16:57.779 He's just talking about 00:16:57.779 --> 00:16:58.539 that's just the way 00:16:58.539 --> 00:16:59.339 that it is. 00:17:02.219 --> 00:17:04.099 But here's the real point. 00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:06.480 In a marriage relationship, 00:17:06.619 --> 00:17:07.099 he talks about, 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:07.720 he quoted it. 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.599 Well, we looked at last week. 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:11.119 When you get married, 00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:12.319 husband and wife, 00:17:12.399 --> 00:17:13.200 you're no longer two, 00:17:13.299 --> 00:17:14.019 but one. 00:17:14.819 --> 00:17:15.879 That's God's design. 00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:18.399 We become one flesh. 00:17:19.899 --> 00:17:20.279 And so, 00:17:20.420 --> 00:17:22.000 in taking care of our wife, 00:17:22.059 --> 00:17:23.200 like we take care of ourself, 00:17:24.139 --> 00:17:25.259 you see how it fits. 00:17:25.259 --> 00:17:26.740 We're one. 00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:28.200 And just as we take care 00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:28.680 of ourselves, 00:17:28.879 --> 00:17:30.859 we take care of her. 00:17:31.180 --> 00:17:32.220 Now, let's apply this. 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:35.200 Let's apply what Paul says 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:36.359 about a husband loving your wife. 00:17:37.079 --> 00:17:37.359 Men, 00:17:38.200 --> 00:17:39.319 what would you do 00:17:39.319 --> 00:17:40.579 if you woke up in the night 00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:41.200 tonight 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.140 and you heard 00:17:43.140 --> 00:17:44.240 what sounded like 00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:45.420 somebody trying to 00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:47.220 break in your back door? 00:17:47.220 --> 00:17:49.319 What would you do? 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:53.639 You wouldn't punch your wife 00:17:53.639 --> 00:17:54.599 and tell her 00:17:54.599 --> 00:17:55.359 to go check it out, 00:17:55.419 --> 00:17:55.679 would you? 00:17:57.419 --> 00:17:57.899 No. 00:17:58.480 --> 00:17:59.819 At least you wouldn't admit it. 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:03.259 What you would do 00:18:03.259 --> 00:18:04.619 if you were any kind of a man 00:18:04.619 --> 00:18:06.619 is you'd get your gun, 00:18:06.700 --> 00:18:07.740 which you ought to have, 00:18:08.439 --> 00:18:10.119 and you would go 00:18:10.119 --> 00:18:11.019 and check it out 00:18:11.019 --> 00:18:13.039 and you would tell her 00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:14.019 to stay here 00:18:14.019 --> 00:18:15.279 and call 911 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:17.079 and get the other gun. 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:20.599 Because if he gets through me, 00:18:20.859 --> 00:18:22.139 you're going to take care of him. 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:22.660 Right? 00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:25.160 That's what you do, men. 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:28.639 There's not a man in this room, 00:18:28.879 --> 00:18:30.180 I don't believe, 00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:30.859 well, there may be, 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:31.839 I've seen one or two 00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:32.859 squirrely guys here 00:18:32.859 --> 00:18:34.019 that you might would do this. 00:18:34.019 --> 00:18:37.379 There's not a man in this room 00:18:37.379 --> 00:18:40.519 who would not willingly 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:45.200 give up his life 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.259 to protect his wife. 00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:51.259 That's just what men do. 00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.279 That's what men, 00:18:53.879 --> 00:18:55.059 since the beginning of time, 00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:56.859 have been taught to do. 00:18:57.720 --> 00:18:58.480 And if you don't hear that 00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:59.000 anywhere else, 00:18:59.019 --> 00:18:59.680 you're going to hear it today. 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:00.759 That's what you, 00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:01.579 if you're a man, 00:19:01.639 --> 00:19:02.680 what you're supposed to do. 00:19:04.019 --> 00:19:04.720 Young guys, 00:19:05.059 --> 00:19:05.940 you are supposed 00:19:05.940 --> 00:19:07.940 to take care of your wife. 00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:10.519 She's supposed to be first. 00:19:10.819 --> 00:19:11.460 You're supposed to do 00:19:11.460 --> 00:19:12.279 whatever it takes 00:19:12.279 --> 00:19:13.099 to take care of her, 00:19:13.180 --> 00:19:13.759 provide for her, 00:19:13.980 --> 00:19:14.920 protect her. 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.180 That's your God-assigned 00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:20.460 responsibility. 00:19:22.980 --> 00:19:24.539 But let me ask husbands, 00:19:25.539 --> 00:19:26.779 you'll die for her. 00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:28.700 Are you willing 00:19:28.700 --> 00:19:29.920 to give up a ball game, 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:31.299 a hunting trip, 00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:33.279 or a golf outing, 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:34.759 in order to do 00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:35.839 something special 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:36.759 with your wife 00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:37.379 that you know 00:19:37.379 --> 00:19:39.420 she really wants to do 00:19:39.420 --> 00:19:41.399 at the time 00:19:41.399 --> 00:19:42.480 you had the other thing planned? 00:19:45.180 --> 00:19:45.819 Do you? 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:48.240 Are you willing 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:49.319 to give up an evening 00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:50.720 or a Saturday 00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:52.839 to take care 00:19:52.839 --> 00:19:54.779 of your little children 00:19:54.779 --> 00:19:57.119 and let your wife 00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:57.819 have the day 00:19:57.819 --> 00:19:59.079 or the night off? 00:19:59.079 --> 00:20:01.720 do you? 00:20:03.679 --> 00:20:04.480 We're not talking 00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:05.539 about hypothetical things. 00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:06.799 What do you do 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:12.299 to show your wife 00:20:12.299 --> 00:20:13.179 your love, 00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:15.460 sacrificial love, 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:18.759 self-giving love, 00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:20.599 like the Word of God 00:20:20.599 --> 00:20:21.339 tells us we're supposed 00:20:21.339 --> 00:20:21.699 to do? 00:20:22.819 --> 00:20:23.980 One of the best examples 00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:24.879 I've ever heard of 00:20:24.879 --> 00:20:26.159 of a husband loving his wife 00:20:26.159 --> 00:20:27.259 as Christ loved the church 00:20:27.259 --> 00:20:28.740 and as he loves his own body 00:20:28.740 --> 00:20:30.539 was demonstrated 00:20:30.539 --> 00:20:31.440 by the theologian 00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:32.359 Wayne Grudem. 00:20:32.420 --> 00:20:33.240 A lot of you know him, 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:34.160 even have his books. 00:20:34.259 --> 00:20:35.180 We've studied them here. 00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:36.859 Several years ago 00:20:36.859 --> 00:20:38.140 he moved from Chicago 00:20:38.140 --> 00:20:39.740 to Arizona 00:20:39.740 --> 00:20:41.700 all for his wife. 00:20:41.819 --> 00:20:43.240 He described the process 00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:44.379 in an interview. 00:20:44.700 --> 00:20:45.420 I want to read it to you. 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:45.799 It's not going to be 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:46.220 on the screen. 00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:47.019 I'm going to read it quick 00:20:47.019 --> 00:20:48.059 and you listen carefully. 00:20:49.420 --> 00:20:49.980 Grudem says, 00:20:49.980 --> 00:20:51.579 We moved to Phoenix Seminary 00:20:51.579 --> 00:20:53.079 in Arizona in 2001 00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:54.599 primarily because 00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:55.779 of Margaret's health. 00:20:56.339 --> 00:20:57.140 She had been experiencing 00:20:57.140 --> 00:20:58.240 chronic pain 00:20:58.240 --> 00:20:59.420 after an auto accident 00:20:59.420 --> 00:21:00.740 a number of years earlier 00:21:00.740 --> 00:21:01.740 and we found 00:21:01.740 --> 00:21:02.559 that the pain 00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:03.579 was aggravated 00:21:03.579 --> 00:21:05.299 by cold and humidity. 00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:07.160 Well, the Chicago area 00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:08.259 is cold in the winter 00:21:08.259 --> 00:21:09.279 and humid in the summer. 00:21:09.980 --> 00:21:11.019 After a couple of trips 00:21:11.019 --> 00:21:11.740 to Arizona, 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:13.559 which is hot and dry, 00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:15.319 we realized that Margaret 00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:16.960 felt much better there. 00:21:16.960 --> 00:21:19.299 So I phoned the academic dean 00:21:19.299 --> 00:21:20.900 at Phoenix Seminary 00:21:20.900 --> 00:21:22.680 and asked if there might be 00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:24.460 possibly a job opportunity 00:21:24.460 --> 00:21:25.200 there for me. 00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:26.440 He says, 00:21:26.519 --> 00:21:27.700 I'm thankful to the Lord 00:21:27.700 --> 00:21:29.000 that when we were making 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:29.860 a decision about 00:21:29.860 --> 00:21:30.880 whether to move to Phoenix, 00:21:31.120 --> 00:21:31.980 on the very day 00:21:31.980 --> 00:21:33.220 we were talking about it 00:21:33.220 --> 00:21:34.279 and praying about it, 00:21:34.539 --> 00:21:36.620 I came to Ephesians 5.28 00:21:36.620 --> 00:21:39.000 in my regularly scheduled 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:39.779 Bible reading 00:21:39.779 --> 00:21:42.000 and the Lord used this verse 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.279 strongly in my own 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:44.019 decision process. 00:21:44.360 --> 00:21:45.100 Here's the verse. 00:21:45.100 --> 00:21:46.759 In the same way, husbands, 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:48.500 in the same way, 00:21:48.579 --> 00:21:49.400 husbands should love 00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:50.700 their wives as Christ's, 00:21:50.840 --> 00:21:51.740 as their own bodies. 00:21:52.140 --> 00:21:53.079 He who loves his wife 00:21:53.079 --> 00:21:53.759 loves himself. 00:21:54.759 --> 00:21:55.259 Grudem says, 00:21:55.460 --> 00:21:56.180 after reading that, 00:21:56.340 --> 00:21:57.319 I thought it was important 00:21:57.319 --> 00:21:58.700 for me to move 00:21:58.700 --> 00:22:00.500 for the sake of Margaret's 00:22:00.500 --> 00:22:01.460 physical body, 00:22:02.019 --> 00:22:03.500 her physical health. 00:22:03.980 --> 00:22:05.799 Now, what Grudem did not say 00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:06.500 in the interview 00:22:06.500 --> 00:22:08.779 is that when he moved 00:22:08.779 --> 00:22:09.500 from Chicago, 00:22:10.440 --> 00:22:11.539 he moved from 00:22:11.539 --> 00:22:12.600 one of the leading 00:22:12.600 --> 00:22:14.100 theological schools 00:22:14.100 --> 00:22:15.539 in this country, 00:22:15.539 --> 00:22:17.940 Trinity Evangelical 00:22:17.940 --> 00:22:18.779 Divinity School. 00:22:19.659 --> 00:22:20.899 He moved from there. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:22.379 He had arrived 00:22:22.379 --> 00:22:23.500 professionally 00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:24.599 by being on the faculty 00:22:24.599 --> 00:22:24.920 there. 00:22:25.639 --> 00:22:26.779 But he moved 00:22:26.779 --> 00:22:28.220 to Phoenix Seminary, 00:22:28.220 --> 00:22:30.680 a place that no one 00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:31.700 had ever heard of, 00:22:32.700 --> 00:22:33.619 a place that was 00:22:33.619 --> 00:22:34.379 just sort of like 00:22:34.379 --> 00:22:35.980 in the big scheme 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:36.279 of things 00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:36.779 on the backside 00:22:36.779 --> 00:22:37.500 of nowhere. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:39.920 Grudem's leaving 00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:41.519 Trinity to go to Phoenix 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:42.000 would be like 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:42.900 Dabo Swinney 00:22:42.900 --> 00:22:44.220 stepping down 00:22:44.220 --> 00:22:44.980 as head coach 00:22:44.980 --> 00:22:45.660 at Clemson 00:22:45.660 --> 00:22:46.880 to go to North 00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:47.960 Greenville University 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:49.259 as head coach. 00:22:50.180 --> 00:22:51.000 Nothing wrong 00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:51.819 with North Greenville, 00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:53.900 but it's a big fall 00:22:53.900 --> 00:22:54.859 from Clemson 00:22:54.859 --> 00:22:56.400 to North Greenville 00:22:56.400 --> 00:22:57.279 when it comes to football. 00:22:58.859 --> 00:23:00.059 I say all that to say, 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:01.660 Grudem is an example 00:23:01.660 --> 00:23:02.339 of how husbands 00:23:02.339 --> 00:23:03.799 are to love their wives. 00:23:04.599 --> 00:23:05.759 It's self-giving. 00:23:06.380 --> 00:23:07.579 It's sacrificial. 00:23:07.579 --> 00:23:09.779 It's do whatever's best 00:23:09.779 --> 00:23:12.439 for her kind of love. 00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:13.919 Now with this understanding 00:23:13.919 --> 00:23:14.419 about husbands 00:23:14.419 --> 00:23:15.539 are to love their wives, 00:23:15.939 --> 00:23:16.779 we can now get 00:23:16.779 --> 00:23:17.740 a better understanding 00:23:17.740 --> 00:23:18.399 of what it means 00:23:18.399 --> 00:23:18.779 for a husband 00:23:18.779 --> 00:23:19.379 to be the head 00:23:19.379 --> 00:23:20.000 of the wife 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:20.659 and the leader 00:23:20.659 --> 00:23:21.299 of his home 00:23:21.299 --> 00:23:22.399 that we started out 00:23:22.399 --> 00:23:23.899 in verses 23 and 24. 00:23:24.679 --> 00:23:25.779 A husband's leadership 00:23:25.779 --> 00:23:28.220 must never be bossy, 00:23:29.220 --> 00:23:29.779 demanding, 00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:30.419 threatening, 00:23:30.740 --> 00:23:31.220 intimidating, 00:23:31.379 --> 00:23:32.240 those kind of things. 00:23:33.220 --> 00:23:34.099 Christian leaders 00:23:34.099 --> 00:23:34.720 don't lead 00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:36.759 by driving people. 00:23:37.579 --> 00:23:38.819 A husband's leadership 00:23:38.819 --> 00:23:39.579 is more like 00:23:39.579 --> 00:23:41.179 taking his wife 00:23:41.179 --> 00:23:42.559 by the hand 00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:44.579 and lovingly 00:23:45.579 --> 00:23:46.819 guiding her. 00:23:48.259 --> 00:23:49.059 A Christian's husband, 00:23:49.179 --> 00:23:49.779 put it another way, 00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:50.879 is servant leadership. 00:23:51.339 --> 00:23:52.899 That's how Jesus described 00:23:52.899 --> 00:23:53.799 Christian leadership 00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:54.679 in general. 00:23:54.939 --> 00:23:55.379 Look at me, 00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:56.220 look at this passage 00:23:56.220 --> 00:23:56.659 if you would, 00:23:56.699 --> 00:23:57.339 from Mark 10. 00:23:58.039 --> 00:23:59.379 And Jesus called them 00:23:59.379 --> 00:24:00.399 to him and said to him, 00:24:00.439 --> 00:24:01.279 talking to his disciples, 00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:03.000 you know that those 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:03.679 who are considered 00:24:03.679 --> 00:24:04.579 rulers of the Gentiles 00:24:05.139 --> 00:24:06.439 lord it over them 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:08.039 and their great ones 00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:09.039 exercise authority 00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:09.500 over them, 00:24:09.620 --> 00:24:10.640 but it shall not 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:11.799 be so among you. 00:24:12.059 --> 00:24:12.860 But whoever would be 00:24:12.860 --> 00:24:13.860 great among you 00:24:13.860 --> 00:24:14.779 must be your servant 00:24:14.779 --> 00:24:15.740 and whoever would be 00:24:15.740 --> 00:24:16.680 first among you 00:24:16.680 --> 00:24:18.660 must be slave of all. 00:24:18.900 --> 00:24:20.059 For even the son of man, 00:24:20.140 --> 00:24:21.000 talking about himself, 00:24:21.360 --> 00:24:22.860 came not to be served, 00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:24.000 but to serve 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:24.920 and to give his life 00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:25.860 as a ransom for many. 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:28.860 I want you to understand, 00:24:29.860 --> 00:24:30.500 servant leadership 00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:32.059 is not passive leadership. 00:24:32.059 --> 00:24:34.919 Servant leadership 00:24:34.919 --> 00:24:37.480 is not an unwillingness 00:24:37.480 --> 00:24:38.460 to step up 00:24:38.460 --> 00:24:39.539 and do what you're 00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:40.139 supposed to do. 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:41.799 Servant leadership 00:24:41.799 --> 00:24:43.319 is real leadership. 00:24:43.740 --> 00:24:44.919 It is effective leadership. 00:24:45.299 --> 00:24:45.619 In fact, 00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:47.099 there's no better example 00:24:47.099 --> 00:24:48.259 of an effective leader 00:24:48.259 --> 00:24:49.240 than Jesus Christ. 00:24:50.679 --> 00:24:51.619 What he started 00:24:51.619 --> 00:24:52.839 2,000 years ago 00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:54.200 in his earthly ministry 00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:55.240 continues on and on. 00:24:55.339 --> 00:24:55.940 We're here 00:24:55.940 --> 00:24:57.119 because of the effectiveness 00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:58.079 of his leadership. 00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:01.699 What will it look like 00:25:01.699 --> 00:25:02.939 when husbands leave 00:25:02.939 --> 00:25:03.879 and wives submit 00:25:03.879 --> 00:25:05.039 as we're looking at 00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:05.539 this morning? 00:25:06.179 --> 00:25:06.799 Well, it's going to vary 00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:07.599 from home to home. 00:25:07.859 --> 00:25:08.599 We're all different. 00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:09.519 Men in this room, 00:25:09.619 --> 00:25:10.119 we're all different. 00:25:10.199 --> 00:25:11.359 Wives are all different. 00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:13.199 And each couple in here, 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:17.059 we have our own uniqueness. 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:20.099 So it's going to vary. 00:25:20.859 --> 00:25:21.899 But here's what it doesn't mean. 00:25:22.699 --> 00:25:23.859 It does not mean 00:25:23.859 --> 00:25:24.460 that the husband 00:25:24.460 --> 00:25:25.679 makes all the decisions. 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:30.340 I want you to understand. 00:25:31.860 --> 00:25:32.759 A Christian husband 00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:34.320 fulfilling his responsibility 00:25:34.320 --> 00:25:35.660 as the leader of the home 00:25:35.660 --> 00:25:36.279 does not make 00:25:36.279 --> 00:25:37.060 all the decisions. 00:25:38.680 --> 00:25:39.240 Ideally, 00:25:39.900 --> 00:25:41.420 husbands and wives 00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:42.039 need to come 00:25:42.039 --> 00:25:43.440 to mutual decisions. 00:25:44.019 --> 00:25:44.720 And listen to this. 00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:46.060 And the one 00:25:46.060 --> 00:25:48.000 with the most expertise 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:49.980 about any given matter 00:25:49.980 --> 00:25:52.140 should take the lead 00:25:52.140 --> 00:25:53.820 in that matter. 00:25:53.819 --> 00:25:56.099 A wise husband 00:25:56.099 --> 00:25:58.299 leader 00:25:58.299 --> 00:25:59.980 knows when to listen 00:25:59.980 --> 00:26:00.740 to his wife. 00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:03.019 Knows that she knows 00:26:03.019 --> 00:26:03.480 some things 00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:04.200 that he doesn't. 00:26:05.259 --> 00:26:06.439 Knows that she has 00:26:06.439 --> 00:26:07.259 more experience 00:26:07.259 --> 00:26:08.059 or wisdom 00:26:08.059 --> 00:26:09.639 than he does 00:26:09.639 --> 00:26:11.259 about certain things. 00:26:12.599 --> 00:26:13.139 Lisa and I 00:26:13.139 --> 00:26:13.639 have been married 00:26:13.639 --> 00:26:15.799 for almost 41 years. 00:26:16.599 --> 00:26:17.319 We got married 00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:17.980 when we were 10. 00:26:17.980 --> 00:26:20.839 In all these years 00:26:20.839 --> 00:26:23.259 we have never made 00:26:23.259 --> 00:26:24.500 a major decision 00:26:24.500 --> 00:26:26.680 that we did not agree on. 00:26:27.380 --> 00:26:28.839 In some decisions 00:26:28.839 --> 00:26:30.339 Lisa has 00:26:30.339 --> 00:26:31.640 had the most 00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:32.319 input 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.660 because 00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:36.000 she knew more. 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:36.759 She had the more 00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:38.599 or the most expertise 00:26:38.599 --> 00:26:39.440 in the matter. 00:26:40.440 --> 00:26:41.539 And then sometimes 00:26:41.539 --> 00:26:42.579 she lets me decide. 00:26:42.579 --> 00:26:48.039 You're a little bit slow. 00:26:50.859 --> 00:26:51.559 Now here's 00:26:51.559 --> 00:26:52.259 an important point. 00:26:53.439 --> 00:26:54.460 We're talking about 00:26:54.460 --> 00:26:56.379 the way you 00:26:56.379 --> 00:26:57.259 make decisions 00:26:57.259 --> 00:26:57.720 together. 00:26:58.859 --> 00:26:59.960 When a decision 00:26:59.960 --> 00:27:00.799 is made 00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:02.119 it is vitally 00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:02.619 important 00:27:02.619 --> 00:27:04.059 that you consider 00:27:04.059 --> 00:27:04.759 that a 00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:05.519 we 00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:06.899 W-E 00:27:06.899 --> 00:27:07.679 we 00:27:07.679 --> 00:27:08.919 decision. 00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:10.539 If it turns 00:27:10.539 --> 00:27:11.439 out well 00:27:11.440 --> 00:27:12.920 we 00:27:12.920 --> 00:27:14.080 succeeded. 00:27:15.080 --> 00:27:16.039 If it turns 00:27:16.039 --> 00:27:17.160 out bad 00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:18.420 we 00:27:18.420 --> 00:27:20.120 fail. 00:27:22.120 --> 00:27:23.019 Never 00:27:23.019 --> 00:27:23.700 blame 00:27:23.700 --> 00:27:24.920 your spouse 00:27:24.920 --> 00:27:27.299 when you 00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:28.180 make bad 00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:28.680 decisions 00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:29.380 as a couple. 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:31.620 Never 00:27:31.620 --> 00:27:32.500 throw it up 00:27:32.500 --> 00:27:33.460 later on 00:27:33.460 --> 00:27:36.220 the bad 00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:36.840 decision 00:27:36.840 --> 00:27:37.539 that he 00:27:37.539 --> 00:27:38.100 or she 00:27:38.100 --> 00:27:38.940 made. 00:27:38.940 --> 00:27:41.580 there's 00:27:41.580 --> 00:27:41.860 a lot 00:27:41.860 --> 00:27:42.080 of 00:27:42.080 --> 00:27:42.880 wives 00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:43.200 in this 00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:43.500 room 00:27:43.500 --> 00:27:43.759 that 00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:44.940 your 00:27:44.940 --> 00:27:45.259 main 00:27:45.259 --> 00:27:45.680 frustration 00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:46.320 is 00:27:46.320 --> 00:27:47.580 your 00:27:47.580 --> 00:27:47.980 husband 00:27:47.980 --> 00:27:48.259 won't 00:27:48.259 --> 00:27:48.480 make 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:48.580 a 00:27:48.580 --> 00:27:49.000 decision. 00:27:49.539 --> 00:27:49.840 It's 00:27:49.840 --> 00:27:50.120 not that 00:27:50.120 --> 00:27:50.200 he 00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:50.340 wants 00:27:50.340 --> 00:27:50.500 to be 00:27:50.500 --> 00:27:50.620 the 00:27:50.620 --> 00:27:50.860 boss 00:27:50.860 --> 00:27:51.160 he 00:27:51.160 --> 00:27:51.299 won't 00:27:51.299 --> 00:27:51.500 make 00:27:51.500 --> 00:27:51.720 any 00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:52.160 decision. 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:53.440 We're 00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:53.519 going to 00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:53.779 address 00:27:53.779 --> 00:27:53.960 that 00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:54.140 a little 00:27:54.140 --> 00:27:54.259 bit 00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:54.460 more 00:27:54.460 --> 00:27:54.740 in a 00:27:54.740 --> 00:27:55.019 moment. 00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:56.240 But I 00:27:56.240 --> 00:27:56.440 want to 00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:56.759 ask 00:27:56.759 --> 00:27:56.920 you 00:27:56.920 --> 00:27:58.000 did 00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:58.200 your 00:27:58.200 --> 00:27:58.519 husband 00:27:58.519 --> 00:27:58.880 used 00:27:58.880 --> 00:27:59.080 to 00:27:59.080 --> 00:27:59.460 make 00:27:59.460 --> 00:28:00.380 more 00:28:00.380 --> 00:28:01.000 decisions 00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:01.799 try 00:28:01.799 --> 00:28:02.400 harder 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:03.759 but you 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:04.080 always 00:28:04.080 --> 00:28:04.580 blamed 00:28:04.580 --> 00:28:04.820 him 00:28:04.820 --> 00:28:04.940 when 00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:05.140 something 00:28:05.140 --> 00:28:05.400 went 00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:05.799 wrong? 00:28:05.799 --> 00:28:06.899 you 00:28:06.899 --> 00:28:07.279 always 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:07.639 threw 00:28:07.639 --> 00:28:07.779 it 00:28:07.779 --> 00:28:08.099 back 00:28:08.099 --> 00:28:08.359 up 00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:08.539 to 00:28:08.539 --> 00:28:08.919 him 00:28:08.919 --> 00:28:10.619 a 00:28:10.619 --> 00:28:10.960 year 00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:11.200 two 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:11.480 years 00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:11.879 later 00:28:11.879 --> 00:28:13.359 about 00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:13.700 that 00:28:13.700 --> 00:28:13.940 which 00:28:13.940 --> 00:28:14.159 went 00:28:14.159 --> 00:28:14.579 wrong? 00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:15.940 It 00:28:15.940 --> 00:28:16.139 may 00:28:16.139 --> 00:28:16.519 be 00:28:16.519 --> 00:28:17.659 he 00:28:17.659 --> 00:28:17.980 doesn't 00:28:17.980 --> 00:28:18.180 make 00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:18.319 the 00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:18.759 decisions 00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:19.039 that 00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:19.180 he 00:28:19.180 --> 00:28:19.460 used 00:28:19.460 --> 00:28:19.619 to 00:28:19.619 --> 00:28:19.819 make 00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:20.180 because 00:28:20.180 --> 00:28:20.399 he 00:28:20.399 --> 00:28:20.579 just 00:28:20.579 --> 00:28:20.819 doesn't 00:28:20.819 --> 00:28:21.000 want 00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:21.059 to 00:28:21.059 --> 00:28:21.299 listen 00:28:21.299 --> 00:28:21.500 to 00:28:21.500 --> 00:28:21.659 the 00:28:21.659 --> 00:28:22.180 complaining 00:28:22.180 --> 00:28:22.500 and 00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:22.639 the 00:28:22.639 --> 00:28:23.079 blame 00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:23.639 anymore. 00:28:25.259 --> 00:28:25.839 And 00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:25.960 it 00:28:25.960 --> 00:28:26.099 could 00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:26.279 go 00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:26.519 both 00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:27.019 ways. 00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:28.779 It 00:28:28.779 --> 00:28:29.059 can 00:28:29.059 --> 00:28:29.240 go 00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:29.500 both 00:28:29.500 --> 00:28:29.960 ways. 00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:31.119 In 00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:31.240 a 00:28:31.240 --> 00:28:31.500 Christian 00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:31.899 home 00:28:31.899 --> 00:28:32.919 God 00:28:32.919 --> 00:28:33.339 intends 00:28:33.339 --> 00:28:33.579 for 00:28:33.579 --> 00:28:34.159 wives 00:28:34.159 --> 00:28:34.539 to 00:28:34.539 --> 00:28:35.019 submit 00:28:35.019 --> 00:28:35.259 to 00:28:35.259 --> 00:28:35.460 her 00:28:35.460 --> 00:28:36.039 husband's 00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:36.460 loving 00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:37.039 leadership 00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:38.319 as a 00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:38.619 part of 00:28:38.619 --> 00:28:38.759 her 00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:39.220 commitment 00:28:39.220 --> 00:28:39.460 to 00:28:39.460 --> 00:28:39.579 the 00:28:39.579 --> 00:28:39.900 Lord. 00:28:42.119 --> 00:28:42.759 Wives 00:28:42.759 --> 00:28:44.680 are you 00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:44.920 seeking 00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:45.220 to do 00:28:45.220 --> 00:28:45.619 this? 00:28:48.579 --> 00:28:49.240 If 00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:49.779 not 00:28:49.779 --> 00:28:51.319 what 00:28:51.319 --> 00:28:51.619 needs 00:28:51.619 --> 00:28:51.819 to 00:28:51.819 --> 00:28:52.400 change? 00:28:53.980 --> 00:28:54.660 Are 00:28:54.660 --> 00:28:55.000 you 00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:55.559 fighting 00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:55.859 your 00:28:55.859 --> 00:28:56.240 husband 00:28:56.240 --> 00:28:56.539 for the 00:28:56.539 --> 00:28:56.879 role 00:28:56.879 --> 00:28:57.259 of the 00:28:57.259 --> 00:28:57.720 primary 00:28:57.720 --> 00:28:58.160 leader 00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:58.879 to be 00:28:58.879 --> 00:28:59.000 the 00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:59.240 primary 00:28:59.240 --> 00:28:59.500 leader 00:28:59.500 --> 00:28:59.619 of 00:28:59.619 --> 00:28:59.720 your 00:28:59.720 --> 00:28:59.980 home? 00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:03.160 Is 00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:03.319 that 00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:03.460 the 00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:03.879 problem? 00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:06.000 I 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:06.139 want 00:29:06.139 --> 00:29:06.200 you 00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:06.319 to 00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:06.779 understand 00:29:06.779 --> 00:29:08.039 I 00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:08.339 tried 00:29:08.339 --> 00:29:08.500 to 00:29:08.500 --> 00:29:09.319 point 00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:09.480 out 00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:09.740 what 00:29:09.740 --> 00:29:10.180 submission 00:29:10.180 --> 00:29:10.539 does 00:29:10.539 --> 00:29:10.660 and 00:29:10.660 --> 00:29:10.879 does 00:29:10.879 --> 00:29:11.200 not 00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:11.859 mean 00:29:11.859 --> 00:29:13.579 but 00:29:13.579 --> 00:29:13.720 no 00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:13.839 matter 00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:14.039 how 00:29:14.039 --> 00:29:14.220 you 00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:14.480 cut 00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:14.700 it 00:29:14.700 --> 00:29:15.660 God's 00:29:15.660 --> 00:29:16.319 design 00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:17.559 is 00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:17.799 for 00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:17.960 the 00:29:17.960 --> 00:29:18.279 husband 00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:18.460 to 00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:18.559 be 00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:18.799 the 00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:19.400 loving 00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:20.480 servant 00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:21.200 leader 00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:21.900 of 00:29:21.900 --> 00:29:22.039 the 00:29:22.039 --> 00:29:22.400 home. 00:29:24.779 --> 00:29:25.259 Don't 00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:25.660 fight 00:29:25.660 --> 00:29:26.059 that. 00:29:26.779 --> 00:29:27.259 That's 00:29:27.259 --> 00:29:27.500 not 00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:28.279 archaic. 00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:28.960 The 00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:29.119 word 00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:29.259 of 00:29:29.259 --> 00:29:29.480 God 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:29.619 is 00:29:29.619 --> 00:29:29.819 not 00:29:29.819 --> 00:29:30.639 changed. 00:29:31.859 --> 00:29:32.139 But 00:29:32.139 --> 00:29:32.299 at the 00:29:32.299 --> 00:29:32.480 same 00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:32.759 time 00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:33.019 wives 00:29:33.019 --> 00:29:33.240 don't 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:33.359 be 00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:33.500 a 00:29:33.500 --> 00:29:33.940 doormat. 00:29:35.019 --> 00:29:35.400 Don't 00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:35.619 take 00:29:35.619 --> 00:29:36.079 abuse. 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:38.079 Don't 00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:38.240 do 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:38.440 what 00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:38.559 you 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:38.879 know 00:29:38.879 --> 00:29:39.139 is 00:29:39.139 --> 00:29:39.819 wrong. 00:29:43.079 --> 00:29:43.579 Encourage 00:29:43.579 --> 00:29:43.799 your 00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:44.099 husband. 00:29:46.119 --> 00:29:46.639 Encourage 00:29:46.639 --> 00:29:46.879 your 00:29:46.879 --> 00:29:47.379 husband 00:29:47.379 --> 00:29:48.099 especially 00:29:48.099 --> 00:29:48.440 if he 00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:48.839 needs 00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:49.539 encouragement 00:29:49.539 --> 00:29:50.480 to lead 00:29:50.480 --> 00:29:51.220 to make 00:29:51.220 --> 00:29:51.859 decisions. 00:29:53.559 --> 00:29:53.900 Encourage 00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:54.279 him as 00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:54.680 you follow 00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:54.900 his 00:29:54.900 --> 00:29:55.299 leadership. 00:29:56.220 --> 00:29:56.460 It may 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:56.740 be you 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:56.940 have to 00:29:56.940 --> 00:29:57.180 take 00:29:57.180 --> 00:29:57.759 small 00:29:57.759 --> 00:29:58.119 baby 00:29:58.119 --> 00:29:58.539 steps 00:29:58.539 --> 00:29:58.940 to start 00:29:58.940 --> 00:29:59.119 with 00:29:59.119 --> 00:29:59.379 and get 00:29:59.379 --> 00:29:59.480 him 00:29:59.480 --> 00:29:59.740 to start 00:29:59.740 --> 00:30:00.019 leading 00:30:00.019 --> 00:30:00.519 help 00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:00.639 him 00:30:00.639 --> 00:30:00.859 to do 00:30:00.859 --> 00:30:01.139 that. 00:30:01.140 --> 00:30:03.140 support 00:30:03.140 --> 00:30:03.540 him 00:30:03.540 --> 00:30:04.580 with 00:30:04.580 --> 00:30:04.900 your 00:30:04.900 --> 00:30:05.420 gifts 00:30:05.420 --> 00:30:05.680 and 00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:06.120 talents 00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:06.420 and 00:30:06.420 --> 00:30:07.000 wisdom. 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:09.640 And 00:30:09.640 --> 00:30:09.960 men 00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:11.200 don't 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:11.400 be 00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:11.880 intimidated 00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:12.380 by your 00:30:12.380 --> 00:30:12.840 wife's 00:30:12.840 --> 00:30:13.340 abilities 00:30:13.340 --> 00:30:14.780 especially 00:30:14.780 --> 00:30:15.700 in the 00:30:15.700 --> 00:30:16.340 areas where 00:30:16.340 --> 00:30:16.740 she just 00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:17.040 knows 00:30:17.040 --> 00:30:17.259 more, 00:30:17.320 --> 00:30:17.660 has more 00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:18.080 experience, 00:30:18.180 --> 00:30:18.940 just wiser 00:30:18.940 --> 00:30:19.600 than you. 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:20.300 Look at 00:30:20.300 --> 00:30:20.700 that as 00:30:20.700 --> 00:30:21.220 a gift 00:30:21.220 --> 00:30:21.640 from 00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:22.060 God 00:30:22.060 --> 00:30:22.880 to you. 00:30:24.340 --> 00:30:24.620 Think 00:30:24.620 --> 00:30:24.900 about 00:30:24.900 --> 00:30:25.480 husbands 00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:25.720 and 00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:26.180 wives. 00:30:27.180 --> 00:30:27.560 When we 00:30:27.560 --> 00:30:28.420 come together, 00:30:28.600 --> 00:30:28.840 we're 00:30:28.840 --> 00:30:29.180 married, 00:30:29.280 --> 00:30:29.600 we become 00:30:29.600 --> 00:30:30.480 one flesh, 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:31.680 her 00:30:31.680 --> 00:30:32.120 strengths, 00:30:32.220 --> 00:30:32.400 his 00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:32.779 strengths, 00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:33.380 they become 00:30:33.380 --> 00:30:34.039 our 00:30:34.039 --> 00:30:35.039 strengths. 00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:36.839 Don't 00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:37.539 be jealous, 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:38.400 be thankful 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.279 because she 00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:40.059 makes you 00:30:40.059 --> 00:30:40.579 better. 00:30:41.220 --> 00:30:41.460 He 00:30:41.460 --> 00:30:42.339 makes you 00:30:42.339 --> 00:30:42.880 better. 00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:43.440 That's the 00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:43.860 way God 00:30:43.860 --> 00:30:44.460 designed it 00:30:44.460 --> 00:30:44.819 to be. 00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:47.099 Listen 00:30:47.099 --> 00:30:47.660 to him. 00:30:48.620 --> 00:30:48.940 Listen 00:30:48.940 --> 00:30:50.140 to her. 00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:51.839 Lead 00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:53.140 together. 00:30:54.380 --> 00:30:54.799 Husbands, 00:30:55.799 --> 00:30:56.360 are you 00:30:56.360 --> 00:30:56.839 seeking to 00:30:56.839 --> 00:30:57.339 be this 00:30:57.339 --> 00:30:57.980 kind of 00:30:57.980 --> 00:30:58.319 leader? 00:30:59.039 --> 00:30:59.360 What we're 00:30:59.360 --> 00:30:59.700 looking at 00:30:59.700 --> 00:31:00.140 this morning, 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:01.900 if not, 00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:03.660 what needs 00:31:03.660 --> 00:31:04.180 to change 00:31:04.180 --> 00:31:06.120 about what 00:31:06.120 --> 00:31:06.339 you're 00:31:06.339 --> 00:31:06.680 doing? 00:31:08.059 --> 00:31:08.620 Are you 00:31:08.620 --> 00:31:08.779 too 00:31:08.779 --> 00:31:09.220 passive? 00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:11.380 Are you 00:31:11.380 --> 00:31:11.779 too 00:31:11.779 --> 00:31:13.720 uninvolved? 00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:15.759 That is 00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:16.079 one of the 00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:16.400 primary 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:17.099 problems in 00:31:17.099 --> 00:31:17.420 a lot of 00:31:17.420 --> 00:31:17.779 marriages. 00:31:18.019 --> 00:31:18.420 It's not 00:31:18.420 --> 00:31:18.680 that the 00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:19.099 husband's 00:31:19.099 --> 00:31:19.700 dictatorial. 00:31:19.779 --> 00:31:19.960 It's not 00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:20.120 that he 00:31:20.120 --> 00:31:20.420 wants to 00:31:20.420 --> 00:31:20.539 do 00:31:20.539 --> 00:31:20.799 everything, 00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:21.120 make all 00:31:21.120 --> 00:31:21.400 decisions. 00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:22.000 A lot 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:22.160 of the 00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:22.500 problems 00:31:22.500 --> 00:31:23.180 is men 00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:23.900 are lazy. 00:31:25.180 --> 00:31:25.460 Men 00:31:25.460 --> 00:31:25.880 are out 00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:26.460 of touch. 00:31:26.579 --> 00:31:26.720 Men 00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:27.440 are distant. 00:31:28.519 --> 00:31:28.839 Men are 00:31:28.839 --> 00:31:29.460 just selfish, 00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:30.099 taking care of 00:31:30.099 --> 00:31:30.599 themselves, 00:31:30.939 --> 00:31:31.139 and they 00:31:31.139 --> 00:31:31.639 expect the 00:31:31.639 --> 00:31:32.159 wife to do 00:31:32.159 --> 00:31:32.459 all the 00:31:32.459 --> 00:31:32.799 things that 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:33.559 have to be 00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:33.779 done with 00:31:33.779 --> 00:31:34.179 the children. 00:31:34.459 --> 00:31:34.939 They expect 00:31:34.939 --> 00:31:35.359 the wife to 00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:35.679 do everything 00:31:35.679 --> 00:31:36.139 to take care 00:31:36.139 --> 00:31:36.319 of the 00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:36.639 home, 00:31:36.980 --> 00:31:37.299 and in 00:31:37.299 --> 00:31:37.459 some 00:31:37.459 --> 00:31:37.899 situations, 00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:38.399 pay all 00:31:38.399 --> 00:31:38.859 the bills 00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:39.179 and do 00:31:39.179 --> 00:31:39.500 everything. 00:31:39.779 --> 00:31:40.139 If you're 00:31:40.139 --> 00:31:40.659 that way as a 00:31:40.659 --> 00:31:40.819 husband, 00:31:40.899 --> 00:31:41.219 you're a 00:31:41.219 --> 00:31:41.659 bum. 00:31:43.439 --> 00:31:44.079 You are 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:45.099 failing your 00:31:45.099 --> 00:31:45.879 God-given 00:31:45.879 --> 00:31:47.500 responsibility to 00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:48.259 be the 00:31:48.259 --> 00:31:48.959 spiritual, 00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:50.099 servant, 00:31:50.379 --> 00:31:51.179 loving, 00:31:51.519 --> 00:31:53.719 leader who 00:31:53.719 --> 00:31:56.539 leads in 00:31:56.539 --> 00:31:56.980 your home. 00:31:59.139 --> 00:31:59.359 Now, 00:31:59.399 --> 00:31:59.720 of course, 00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:01.500 some men 00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:01.779 are too 00:32:01.779 --> 00:32:02.240 harsh, 00:32:03.779 --> 00:32:04.079 too 00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:04.960 dictatorial, 00:32:06.220 --> 00:32:07.500 too stupid 00:32:07.500 --> 00:32:08.000 to know they 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:08.460 need to 00:32:08.460 --> 00:32:10.519 listen and 00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:10.940 not say 00:32:10.940 --> 00:32:11.420 something all 00:32:11.420 --> 00:32:11.839 the time, 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:12.639 not make all 00:32:12.639 --> 00:32:13.279 the decisions. 00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:13.920 If that's 00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:14.279 you, 00:32:17.019 --> 00:32:17.720 confess what 00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:18.399 sin needs to 00:32:18.399 --> 00:32:19.059 be confessed 00:32:19.059 --> 00:32:21.299 to God and 00:32:21.299 --> 00:32:22.099 to your wife 00:32:22.099 --> 00:32:22.659 and maybe your 00:32:22.659 --> 00:32:23.039 children. 00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:25.940 talk to 00:32:25.940 --> 00:32:26.659 your spouse, 00:32:27.659 --> 00:32:28.500 talk with 00:32:28.500 --> 00:32:29.220 your spouse, 00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:30.799 dialogue, 00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:34.940 renew some 00:32:34.940 --> 00:32:35.700 commitments, 00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:37.740 take on 00:32:37.740 --> 00:32:39.480 your God-assigned 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:40.559 responsibilities. 00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:43.940 Husbands and 00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:44.480 wives, 00:32:45.940 --> 00:32:46.500 what we've 00:32:46.500 --> 00:32:47.539 looked at is 00:32:47.539 --> 00:32:48.639 the God-designed 00:32:48.639 --> 00:32:50.539 structure of a 00:32:50.539 --> 00:32:51.180 Christian home. 00:32:51.180 --> 00:32:53.900 accept it, 00:32:54.060 --> 00:32:54.519 don't fight 00:32:54.519 --> 00:32:54.940 against it, 00:32:54.980 --> 00:32:55.740 accept it, 00:32:56.360 --> 00:32:56.980 and do your 00:32:56.980 --> 00:32:57.740 part to make 00:32:57.740 --> 00:32:58.660 it a home that 00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:00.000 pleases God, 00:33:01.320 --> 00:33:02.220 your spouse, 00:33:03.019 --> 00:33:05.000 and yourself. 00:33:06.460 --> 00:33:07.400 Pray for your 00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:08.120 spouse to do 00:33:08.120 --> 00:33:08.600 the same. 00:33:09.460 --> 00:33:10.259 Don't preach to 00:33:10.259 --> 00:33:10.820 your spouse. 00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:13.320 Pray for your 00:33:13.320 --> 00:33:13.779 spouse, 00:33:14.380 --> 00:33:14.960 and pray for 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:15.560 yourself. 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:17.480 Ask God to 00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:18.200 help you to do 00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:18.920 your part to 00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:19.620 make living in 00:33:19.620 --> 00:33:20.320 your home, 00:33:21.180 --> 00:33:22.700 a peaceful, 00:33:23.320 --> 00:33:23.840 pleasant, 00:33:24.900 --> 00:33:26.420 joyful experience 00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:28.340 for everybody 00:33:28.340 --> 00:33:29.060 involved. 00:33:30.539 --> 00:33:31.420 You want, 00:33:31.560 --> 00:33:32.140 as a loving 00:33:32.140 --> 00:33:32.580 leader, 00:33:32.940 --> 00:33:33.240 men, 00:33:34.340 --> 00:33:35.340 you want 00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:37.200 it to be that 00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:37.840 way for your 00:33:37.840 --> 00:33:38.560 spouse. 00:33:39.840 --> 00:33:40.279 Wives, 00:33:40.460 --> 00:33:41.460 you want it 00:33:41.460 --> 00:33:42.200 to be that 00:33:42.200 --> 00:33:43.380 way for your 00:33:43.380 --> 00:33:43.820 husband. 00:33:45.820 --> 00:33:47.100 Talk to God, 00:33:47.299 --> 00:33:47.860 seek His 00:33:47.860 --> 00:33:48.160 help, 00:33:48.460 --> 00:33:49.180 talk to each 00:33:49.180 --> 00:33:49.519 other, 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:50.920 and work 00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:53.380 to either 00:33:53.380 --> 00:33:54.700 build or 00:33:54.700 --> 00:33:55.420 rebuild 00:33:55.420 --> 00:33:58.940 this God-given 00:33:58.940 --> 00:34:01.640 structure for 00:34:01.640 --> 00:34:03.340 your husband-wife 00:34:03.340 --> 00:34:04.259 relationship. 00:34:04.920 --> 00:34:05.700 Let's pray 00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:06.060 together. 00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:07.480 Dear God, 00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:09.659 show us how we 00:34:09.659 --> 00:34:10.800 should respond now 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:11.420 to what you've 00:34:11.420 --> 00:34:12.119 said through your 00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:12.700 word and your 00:34:12.700 --> 00:34:13.840 spirit to us. 00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:16.260 Father, for some 00:34:16.260 --> 00:34:18.500 people, they 00:34:18.500 --> 00:34:18.800 have been 00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:21.000 affirmed because 00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:21.680 they're seeking to 00:34:21.680 --> 00:34:22.740 do it your way. 00:34:23.700 --> 00:34:24.539 No one does it 00:34:24.539 --> 00:34:25.019 perfectly. 00:34:26.019 --> 00:34:26.579 But Father, I pray 00:34:26.579 --> 00:34:27.200 that you will just 00:34:27.200 --> 00:34:27.900 affirm and 00:34:27.900 --> 00:34:28.760 encourage those who 00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:29.620 are seeking to be 00:34:29.620 --> 00:34:31.220 faithful to you and 00:34:31.220 --> 00:34:32.380 their spouse and 00:34:32.380 --> 00:34:33.600 their family in all 00:34:33.600 --> 00:34:34.000 this. 00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:36.539 Father, for those who 00:34:36.539 --> 00:34:38.400 have failed for 00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:39.100 whatever reason, 00:34:39.720 --> 00:34:40.660 maybe never started, 00:34:40.760 --> 00:34:41.500 maybe started, but 00:34:41.500 --> 00:34:43.780 stopped, convict them, 00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:47.120 to come back to 00:34:47.120 --> 00:34:48.039 you in a renewed 00:34:48.039 --> 00:34:50.920 commitment, to seek 00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:52.280 your help to change, 00:34:53.559 --> 00:34:55.200 to humble themselves 00:34:55.200 --> 00:34:56.340 before their spouse, 00:34:57.340 --> 00:34:58.880 and seek forgiveness, 00:35:00.019 --> 00:35:02.840 seek help, seek 00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:03.539 dialogue. 00:35:05.620 --> 00:35:06.460 Father, I pray for 00:35:06.460 --> 00:35:07.700 every single person in 00:35:07.700 --> 00:35:08.180 this room. 00:35:10.180 --> 00:35:11.100 Help them to see that 00:35:11.099 --> 00:35:14.559 this is what you 00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:16.639 intend for husband-wife 00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:17.400 relationships. 00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:19.739 Help them to seek to 00:35:19.739 --> 00:35:21.599 be that kind of 00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:24.139 husband, that kind of 00:35:24.139 --> 00:35:24.599 wife. 00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:26.059 And help them, dear God, 00:35:26.139 --> 00:35:28.739 to only look for a 00:35:28.739 --> 00:35:30.940 husband or wife who 00:35:30.940 --> 00:35:32.779 will accept your word 00:35:32.779 --> 00:35:37.079 and seek your help to 00:35:37.079 --> 00:35:37.960 put it into practice. 00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:40.920 show us all how to 00:35:40.920 --> 00:35:41.559 respond. 00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:43.300 And Lord, if there are 00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:43.940 people in this room who 00:35:43.940 --> 00:35:44.860 are not Christians, help 00:35:44.860 --> 00:35:45.800 them to see that this 00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:47.220 can never take place 00:35:47.220 --> 00:35:50.039 until they come to know 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:51.240 Jesus as their Lord and 00:35:51.240 --> 00:35:53.240 Savior and are filled 00:35:53.240 --> 00:35:54.199 with His Spirit. 00:35:56.480 --> 00:35:57.639 Father, help Christians in 00:35:57.639 --> 00:35:58.460 this room to know that 00:35:58.460 --> 00:35:59.960 this will never happen if 00:36:00.579 --> 00:36:01.960 they're not seeking to be 00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:04.820 sensitive to the Holy 00:36:04.820 --> 00:36:06.340 Spirit and obedient to His 00:36:06.340 --> 00:36:09.460 leadership, seeking your 00:36:09.460 --> 00:36:11.840 help to do the kind of 00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:13.019 things necessary day in 00:36:13.019 --> 00:36:16.380 and day out to have the 00:36:16.380 --> 00:36:17.980 healthy home you intend 00:36:17.980 --> 00:36:19.000 for them to have. 00:36:19.980 --> 00:36:21.160 So just in an attitude of 00:36:21.160 --> 00:36:22.000 prayer, let's all just 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:22.940 listen to the Lord and 00:36:22.940 --> 00:36:23.680 respond to Him. 00:36:24.220 --> 00:36:25.240 I'd be happy to pray with 00:36:25.240 --> 00:36:26.019 you here at the front 00:36:26.019 --> 00:36:27.300 during this time if you 00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:29.059 want to come as musicians 00:36:29.059 --> 00:36:30.720 play just for the next 00:36:30.720 --> 00:36:31.300 few minutes. 00:36:31.300 --> 00:36:31.400 Amen.