WEBVTT

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 I don't think I've actually struggled to write a talk as much as I have this one tonight.

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 Friendship is, I think, a massive subject.

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 I think as I've been thinking about it probably for the last three weeks,

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 I'm conscious that it's a real blessing, isn't it, to have good friends.

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 Everybody needs good friends.

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 But also struck that friendship is very difficult.

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 It's very difficult to try and nail what is a good friend.

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 It's very difficult to keep good friends.

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 Friendship is very difficult.

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 So they say when it comes to Q&A and there's no questions, there's four options you can believe.

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 Number one, everything was so clear that no one has any more questions to ask.

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 Number two, it was so far above everyone's heads that they didn't understand anything

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 and therefore have no limit to ask questions.

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 Number three, it was so confused that people don't know where to start asking questions.

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 Or number four, any of the above three that you like.

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 There was a fourth, but I forgot it.

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 So we'll just go for that one at the end.

00:01:14.060 --> 00:01:14.359
 Yeah.

00:01:14.359 --> 00:01:16.640
 Relationships.

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 I have a PowerPoint to help us.

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 Relationships.

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 And tonight, authentic friendships.

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 What is an authentic friendship?

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 You can trust us to stick with you through thick and thin to the bitter end.

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 And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours closer than you yourself keep it.

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 But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone and go off without a word.

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 We are your friends, Frodo.

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 Anyway, there it is.

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 We know most of what Gandalf has told you.

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 We know a good deal about the ring.

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 We are horribly afraid.

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 But we are coming with you or following you like hounds.

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 That is what Merry Pippin and Samwise Gamgee say to Frodo just before he embarks on this great journey that will take three massive books in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

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 It's a lovely quote, which I think gets us somewhere to thinking about what is the essence of true friendship.

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 People with you through thick and thin who are prepared to face great adversity for you.

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 And the only option that they don't leave him is that he's going to go to Mordor alone.

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 Or on the Monday after Christmas, I was in Asda at the Jewel.

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 Something I hate at the best of times, but the Monday after Christmas, horrendous.

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 But over the tannoy came the song by the Rembrandts, I'll Be There For You, which was, of course, the theme tune to that great soap opera, Friends.

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 And Friends, it's said, is always being shown somewhere in the world so popular was it.

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 And as I was walking around Asda pushing my trolley, I was conscious that everybody was singing along.

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 That this song has obviously captured people's imaginations.

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 That when we think of Friends, we think of the Rembrandts and we think of this song, I'll Be There For You.

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 When I think of that, I think of a very weird time at university where the very last episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel might finally get together.

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 I was watching this program called Friends in a room full of strangers that I did not know.

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 I was only there because somebody had a TV license and I didn't.

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 It was very weird watching Friends around a group of strangers who, once the program was gone, everyone just disappeared.

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 There was not even a cup of tea.

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 It was most disappointing.

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 Yet we are constantly aware in our lives that our friendships don't often live up to what the Hobbits describe,

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 or that which was experienced and shown by Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and Monica.

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 In fact, in a recent study, Britain was shown to be the loneliness capital of Europe.

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 It came 28th out of 28 countries that people in Britain are lonelier than anybody else in Europe.

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 It was measured on people in Britain are the least likely to know their neighbors and the least likely to have anybody they would describe as a good friend.

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 We come absolutely bottom.

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 Let's bear in mind, some of that is Eastern Europe and I don't find those people the friendliest.

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 And we come bottom.

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 And let's also be clear that we're in Edinburgh, which has this reputation of being cold and a little bit austere,

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 far in contrast to our dear countrymen through in the West.

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 It's true that anything good, anything bad can be wonderful with friends and almost anything good can be terrible without them.

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 Yet we live in a society where friendship is minimized, it takes a back seat,

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 and it comes a country mile behind the way we pedestal romantic love and family love.

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 No one ever buys a glossy magazine on a Saturday to find out who's friends with it.

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 Because we're so geared, we're so honed in looking at romantic love and family love.

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 And so pedestalling that, that friendship comes a long way behind.

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 In days gone by, it was said, friendship seemed to be the happiest, most fully human of all loves.

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 The crown of life and the school of virtue.

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 To the modern person, friendship is diminished and largely disregarded.

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 I realized this week that in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this central love between Arwen and Aragon doesn't even make it into Tolkien's proper book.

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 It's always in the appendix.

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 It's only when Peter Jackson and Hollywood get a hold of it that they put this romance right at the center

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 because they don't think to the 21st century audience that friendship will be able to hold the story together.

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 Isn't it interesting?

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 How what Tolkien wrote needs to be reinterpreted and reinvented for our 21st century diminished.

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 Diminishment of friendship, um, eyes.

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 Even in the Christian world, friendship is the most important, least talked about relationship in the church.

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 I've never given a talk on friendship before, that might be obvious already.

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 It's not something I've particularly thought of very much.

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 But I was also stunned how few books have been written on friendship.

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 I think this is perhaps the first sermon I've ever preached where I think I've read a vast majority of all the books written on a subject.

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 And I'm still pretty clueless about how to do a talk or how to tell people about friendship.

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 Yet despite it being detrimentally overlooked, we all know, feel, understand and yearn to be good at choosing, forging and keeping terrific friendships.

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 Put your hand up if you think you've got lots of too many good friends.

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 Put your hand up if you'd like a few more good friends.

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 I certainly would.

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 We all feel the need, the yearning.

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 We all know the benefit and blessing of having good friends.

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 On a church level, I think it is accurate to estimate that church satisfaction is gauged on two planes.

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 Number one, the quality of the teaching ministries and services of the church.

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 Do you like what the church does?

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 And number two, I think we assess our satisfaction with church with the ability we have to forge good friendships within that body of people.

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 If we have appreciation for the ministries and we have friendships with the people, we'll be satisfied, I think, generally in church.

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 So therefore, friendship for us and in our church is extremely important.

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 What will make our church stronger is if we're better friends and have deeper fellowship one with another.

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 C.S. Lewis in his book, The Four Loves, which is a cracking book, which I think everyone should really read.

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 He writes a chapter on friendship.

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 And his chapter on friendship is basically about the weirdness of friendship, the otherness of friendship.

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 He writes, friendship is, in a sense, the least natural of loves, the least instinctive, biological, gregarious and necessary.

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 Without eros, romantic love, none of us would have been born.

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 Without affection, familial love, none of us would have been reared.

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 But we can live and breed without friendship.

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 Friendship is unnecessary.

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 Like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself, for God did not need to create.

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 It has no survival value.

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 Rather, it is one of the things that gives value to survival.

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 It is one of the things that enriches our lives.

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 As a 12th century Cistercian monk, I told you that there's very few books on friendship.

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 This is about one of six.

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 And he writes a book on friendship and he says that there are three different types of friendship that we experience.

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 They're at different levels, at different depths.

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 And as we go deeper, they get fewer.

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 He says the first one is we have a carnal friendship.

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 And he would describe a carnal friendship as people whom we mutually pursue pleasure with.

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 People whom we mutually pursue pleasure with.

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 People we hang around for the sake of mutual fun.

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 And I dare say we've all got friends like that.

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 Then he talks about worldly friendships.

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 Friendships that people maintain because it brings mutual advantage.

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 So this might be friendships in the workplace.

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 If you are friends with your workmates, it will go better for you at work.

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 It might be your teammates.

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 If you're friends with your teammates and are looking out for them and ready to do things for them,

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 then that will only have benefit to the scoreline at the end of the game.

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 But he says the third type of friendship, the deepest type of friendship is a friendship bounded, grounded in mutual commitment.

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 Where you think the same as the other person.

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 Where you start sharing about your life and they go, oh, that's how I view the world.

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 That's what I think.

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 Oh, you too.

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 I thought I was the only one.

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 There is a mutual foundation.

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 A set of core beliefs.

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 A common pursuit which binds people together.

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 And Aelred of Reveaux would say that was the deepest kind of friendship.

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 And obviously he's then going to go on and explain that friendship between Christians,

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 where they're bound together in their mutual pursuit of Jesus Christ,

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 is the most conducive foundation to build strong, deep, rich and fruitful friendships.

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 He writes,

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 That actually Jesus is a wonderful person in enabling others to forge deep and rich and good friendships.

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 So a great goal in all our friendships is to make them spiritual friendships.

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 By deepening and centering our friendships with Christians on Jesus,

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 and by pursuing and being great friends to non-Christians,

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 in order that they might trust Jesus themselves,

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 so you can pursue him together.

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 Last bit of wiggling on the T.

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 Augustine writes in his Confessions,

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 Many people, Aelred and Augustine, both say that Jesus is a wonderful starting point

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 for building and maintaining and growing friendships.

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 But it seems pertinent then to distinguish the difference between fellowship and friendship.

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 They are very different.

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 Fellowship might be described as that special sense of companionship

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 and love among believers based on our unity in Christ.

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 That's what fellowship is.

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 That is, all those that know and love and have trusted the Lord Jesus,

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 we're brought together as family.

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 That in Jesus we're not only reconciled to God,

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 but we're reconciled to each other.

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 There's a family bond.

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 I know, I'm sure we've all felt this,

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 where you're in a foreign place,

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 you meet a Christian brother or sister,

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 and after a little while you feel like you've known them their whole life.

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 So one of the wonderful fruits of the gospel.

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 It's a wonderful thing, fellowship,

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 and fellowship intrinsically paves the way towards spiritual friendship.

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 Friendship, therefore, in a spiritual sense,

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 is that fellowship taken to the next level

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 and applied more personally,

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 given added depth, refinement and detail

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 through active investment in one another's life.

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 So we have fellowship altogether,

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 but it's going to take investment.

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 It's going to take spending time.

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 It's going to take sacrificing.

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 It's going to take hanging out.

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 It's going to take us encouraging each other

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 and spurring each other on in our pursuit of Jesus

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 if that fellowship is going to deepen

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 and become deep, rewarding fellowship.

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 So this evening I want to talk about friendship

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 in just three quick titles.

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 The why of friendship.

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 Why do we need friends?

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 The what of friendship.

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 What are good things to look for in friends.

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 How can we be good friends?

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 And then the how of friendship.

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 If friendship is so difficult,

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 does the Bible have anything to show us or tell us

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 or teach us about how to make it a little bit easier?

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 So, the why of friendship.

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 Why do I, why do you, why do we

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 have a deep-seated yearning to have friends?

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 Where does that come from?

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 Why can't we just say that every man is an island

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 and I am Ibiza?

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 Why do we need to have this connectedness?

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 Well, I think the Bible's clear answer

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 is that friendship starts before the beginning.

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 Friendship starts before the beginning.

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 In Genesis 1.26,

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 God said,

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 let us make man in our image,

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 in our likeness.

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 Note those plurals.

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 God talking to himself in plurality.

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 That even before the beginning,

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 God exists in trinity.

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 That God forever

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 has been one God in three persons.

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 who forever exists in and of himself

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 in a loving friendship.

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 God is intrinsically community.

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 Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

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 And it is in this image that we're created.

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 This relational image.

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 The image of the eternal relational God.

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 God.

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 So by the time we get to chapter 2.18,

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 and us getting a few more details

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 about how Adam and Eve were created,

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 we read that the first not good thing

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 about Adam and creation

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 is that he is alone.

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 He has no one to relate to.

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 Just imagine being Adam in the Garden of Eden.

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 He has the best quiet time.

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 24 hours a day.

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 He has unhindered access to God.

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 We read in chapter 3

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 that they used to walk together

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 in the coolness of the day.

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 What a beautiful picture of friendship that is.

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 And yet the first not good thing

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 and in other ways perfect creation

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 is the aloneness of man.

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 There is no one like him

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 whom he can be a friend to,

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 he can relate to,

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 he can share with.

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 Part of being image bearers of God

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 is to pursue, develop, nurture,

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 and maintain human relationships.

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 Therefore,

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 friendless living is both

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 a rejection of God's good purpose for us

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 as his image bearers,

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 and also a dehumanizing tragedy.

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 That as humans made in his image,

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 one of the things that

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 marks that image bearing out

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 is our ability

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 to maintain and grow

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 and have friends.

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 So no wonder when Eve shows up

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 in 2.22,

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 Adam knows friendship

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 and the not goodness

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 of that creation

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 becomes very good.

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 Because suddenly Adam

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 can be fully human

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 as the image bearer of God.

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 Adam even sings a song.

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 I'm not sure it translates that well.

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 He says,

00:17:59.960 --> 00:18:01.160
 this is bone of my bone

00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:03.140
 and flesh of my flesh.

00:18:03.180 --> 00:18:04.460
 I think if I sung that to Aileen,

00:18:04.540 --> 00:18:05.620
 she'd look at me a bit weird.

00:18:05.620 --> 00:18:05.660
 But,

00:18:08.900 --> 00:18:10.519
 but the eye of Adam

00:18:10.519 --> 00:18:11.759
 now becomes an ass

00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:12.420
 and a wee.

00:18:13.560 --> 00:18:14.740
 And there are they together.

00:18:15.780 --> 00:18:16.460
 That they are

00:18:16.460 --> 00:18:18.220
 interacting together.

00:18:18.320 --> 00:18:19.060
 They are sharing

00:18:19.060 --> 00:18:20.500
 together.

00:18:20.620 --> 00:18:21.920
 That as image bearers of God,

00:18:21.980 --> 00:18:22.680
 when Adam and Eve

00:18:22.680 --> 00:18:24.600
 can share and be friends together,

00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:25.800
 they reflect God's image

00:18:25.800 --> 00:18:27.300
 better than Adam ever could

00:18:27.300 --> 00:18:28.180
 alone.

00:18:29.360 --> 00:18:30.940
 But this picture

00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:32.019
 of completeness

00:18:32.019 --> 00:18:32.920
 is then shattered

00:18:32.920 --> 00:18:33.780
 categorically

00:18:33.780 --> 00:18:35.200
 at the fall in Genesis 3.

00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:38.180
 The usual evening stroll

00:18:38.180 --> 00:18:38.819
 with God

00:18:38.819 --> 00:18:39.960
 in the coolness of the day

00:18:39.960 --> 00:18:40.860
 is forsaken

00:18:40.860 --> 00:18:42.960
 for running,

00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:45.259
 hiding,

00:18:45.420 --> 00:18:45.980
 and isolation

00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:47.180
 from the Creator.

00:18:48.600 --> 00:18:49.400
 Sin has spoiled

00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:50.240
 man's friendship

00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:51.340
 with God vertically.

00:18:52.700 --> 00:18:53.580
 And as we read,

00:18:53.700 --> 00:18:54.640
 as Adam goes on

00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:56.420
 this self-justifying exercise

00:18:56.420 --> 00:18:57.759
 in Genesis 3 verse 10,

00:18:57.880 --> 00:18:58.440
 when he said,

00:18:58.519 --> 00:18:59.539
 it's the woman's fault.

00:18:59.880 --> 00:19:00.440
 It's this woman

00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:01.539
 that you gave me.

00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:02.860
 He then ceases

00:19:02.860 --> 00:19:04.059
 to be a we and a they.

00:19:04.059 --> 00:19:05.159
 He becomes an eye.

00:19:06.259 --> 00:19:06.980
 And that friendship,

00:19:07.139 --> 00:19:07.819
 that relationship

00:19:07.819 --> 00:19:09.899
 is tarnished forever.

00:19:11.419 --> 00:19:13.179
 A fracture of relationship

00:19:13.179 --> 00:19:14.019
 at Genesis 3

00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:15.200
 and a fissure of friendship

00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:16.240
 is now seemingly

00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.919
 irreparably forged

00:19:19.919 --> 00:19:21.039
 at the core

00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:22.159
 of fallen humanity.

00:19:23.879 --> 00:19:25.200
 That when sin shows up,

00:19:25.319 --> 00:19:26.139
 friendship becomes

00:19:26.139 --> 00:19:27.519
 more difficult.

00:19:27.740 --> 00:19:28.779
 Martin Luther observes

00:19:28.779 --> 00:19:29.859
 that sin curves us

00:19:29.859 --> 00:19:31.519
 inward on ourselves

00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:33.599
 and left unaddressed

00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:35.599
 causes us to become

00:19:35.599 --> 00:19:37.139
 increasingly self-focused.

00:19:38.420 --> 00:19:39.879
 Nowhere is this more poisonous

00:19:39.879 --> 00:19:40.859
 than in our friendships.

00:19:42.059 --> 00:19:43.359
 And don't we see it

00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:45.839
 that when I becomes big,

00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:47.400
 friendship becomes difficult.

00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:49.039
 When I am self-obsessed,

00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:50.900
 it inhibits my ability

00:19:50.900 --> 00:19:52.519
 to be other person focused.

00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:57.220
 And so readily we get

00:19:57.220 --> 00:19:57.920
 what's the definition

00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:58.960
 of a boring person,

00:19:59.099 --> 00:19:59.759
 somebody who talks

00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:00.379
 about themselves

00:20:00.379 --> 00:20:01.339
 when you really want

00:20:01.339 --> 00:20:02.319
 to talk about yourself.

00:20:03.779 --> 00:20:04.599
 And we start

00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:05.759
 to evaluate friendships.

00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:08.980
 We interact with someone

00:20:08.980 --> 00:20:09.400
 and we think,

00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:10.319
 do they like me?

00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:13.139
 What do they think of me?

00:20:15.079 --> 00:20:16.559
 Will they hurt me?

00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:19.220
 How can I make them

00:20:19.220 --> 00:20:21.019
 like me more?

00:20:21.019 --> 00:20:21.839
 Not that any of these

00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:22.619
 questions are wrong,

00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:24.019
 but it's amazing

00:20:24.019 --> 00:20:25.539
 how me-focused friendship

00:20:25.539 --> 00:20:27.019
 can so readily become

00:20:27.019 --> 00:20:29.059
 as fallen human beings

00:20:29.059 --> 00:20:30.039
 in a fallen world.

00:20:31.319 --> 00:20:32.039
 And so this side

00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:32.500
 of the fourth,

00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:33.799
 friendship is difficult.

00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:35.720
 Friendship is hard.

00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:36.819
 Friendship is tough.

00:20:38.500 --> 00:20:39.259
 But still,

00:20:39.339 --> 00:20:40.059
 as image bearers,

00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:42.259
 it is intrinsically worthwhile.

00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:44.740
 Friendship with God

00:20:44.740 --> 00:20:45.799
 is hard as holiness

00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:46.480
 and sinfulness

00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:47.319
 cannot coexist.

00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:48.779
 In the Old Testament,

00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:49.660
 as far as I can see,

00:20:49.720 --> 00:20:50.759
 there's only two people

00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:53.279
 that are explicitly described

00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:54.319
 as friends of God.

00:20:55.019 --> 00:20:56.759
 Moses in Exodus 33,

00:20:56.940 --> 00:20:57.740
 the Lord would speak

00:20:57.740 --> 00:20:59.240
 to Moses face to face

00:20:59.240 --> 00:21:00.579
 as one would speak

00:21:00.579 --> 00:21:01.220
 to a friend.

00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:03.259
 And also Abraham

00:21:03.259 --> 00:21:04.539
 in Isaiah 41,

00:21:04.819 --> 00:21:06.259
 also picked up in James 2.

00:21:06.660 --> 00:21:07.579
 But you, Israel,

00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:08.299
 my servant,

00:21:08.500 --> 00:21:08.819
 Jacob,

00:21:08.980 --> 00:21:09.900
 whom I have chosen,

00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:10.960
 you descendants

00:21:10.960 --> 00:21:11.980
 of Abraham,

00:21:12.539 --> 00:21:13.160
 my friend.

00:21:13.160 --> 00:21:16.480
 It's not just friendship

00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:17.740
 with God that is affected,

00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:18.700
 tarnished,

00:21:18.779 --> 00:21:19.580
 and inhibited,

00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:20.960
 but also friendship

00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:21.540
 with others.

00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:22.480
 So Proverbs 20,

00:21:22.580 --> 00:21:23.180
 verse 6,

00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:24.779
 many claim to have

00:21:24.779 --> 00:21:25.840
 unfailing love,

00:21:26.220 --> 00:21:27.500
 but a faithful person,

00:21:27.600 --> 00:21:28.700
 a faithful friend,

00:21:29.380 --> 00:21:30.240
 who can find?

00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:33.259
 Why is friendship important?

00:21:33.259 --> 00:21:34.559
 Because as those created

00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:35.279
 in God's image,

00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:36.240
 we are hardwired

00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:36.839
 for friendship.

00:21:37.619 --> 00:21:38.539
 Friendship with God

00:21:38.539 --> 00:21:39.799
 and friendship with others.

00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:41.619
 But due to the fall,

00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:42.900
 friendship is now hard,

00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:43.660
 messy,

00:21:43.980 --> 00:21:45.660
 and spoiled by sin,

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:48.200
 though still absolutely necessary,

00:21:48.740 --> 00:21:49.960
 and the longing for it

00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:50.700
 ever present

00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:52.839
 in everyone's lives.

00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:54.519
 And yet God's plan

00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:55.079
 of salvation

00:21:55.079 --> 00:21:55.859
 is designed

00:21:55.859 --> 00:21:56.960
 to restore

00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:58.160
 our vertical relationship

00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:58.779
 with God,

00:21:58.980 --> 00:22:00.440
 as well as our horizontal

00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:02.580
 relationships with others.

00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:04.700
 Why friendship?

00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:06.220
 Because that's how

00:22:06.220 --> 00:22:08.000
 God designed us.

00:22:09.299 --> 00:22:09.779
 But what about

00:22:09.779 --> 00:22:10.799
 the what of friendship?

00:22:10.940 --> 00:22:12.200
 What do good friendships do?

00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:13.380
 What are some marks

00:22:13.380 --> 00:22:14.480
 of authentic friendship?

00:22:15.019 --> 00:22:15.799
 What can I do

00:22:15.799 --> 00:22:16.880
 to be a true friend?

00:22:18.340 --> 00:22:19.019
 Well, I was encouraged

00:22:19.019 --> 00:22:19.880
 to see that the Bible

00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:21.019
 had more to say on this

00:22:21.019 --> 00:22:21.720
 than you'd believe.

00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:23.880
 And there's one book

00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:24.519
 in particular

00:22:24.519 --> 00:22:25.980
 that has loads to say

00:22:25.980 --> 00:22:27.039
 on friendship,

00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:28.860
 the book of Proverbs.

00:22:28.859 --> 00:22:30.019
 Hugh Black

00:22:30.019 --> 00:22:31.139
 in a classic work

00:22:31.139 --> 00:22:31.519
 says,

00:22:31.899 --> 00:22:32.939
 the book of Proverbs

00:22:32.939 --> 00:22:34.139
 might almost be called

00:22:34.139 --> 00:22:35.500
 a treatise on friendship.

00:22:36.299 --> 00:22:37.240
 So full is it

00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:37.859
 of advice

00:22:37.859 --> 00:22:38.959
 about the sort of person

00:22:38.959 --> 00:22:40.099
 you should consult with

00:22:40.099 --> 00:22:41.599
 and the sort of person

00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:42.399
 you should avoid.

00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:44.019
 It is full of shrewd,

00:22:44.159 --> 00:22:44.479
 prudent,

00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:45.500
 and wise counsel.

00:22:45.919 --> 00:22:46.919
 There is no book

00:22:46.919 --> 00:22:48.000
 that so exalts

00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.039
 the idea of friendship

00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:50.619
 and is so anxious

00:22:50.619 --> 00:22:52.259
 to have it truly valued

00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:54.119
 and carefully kept.

00:22:55.619 --> 00:22:56.419
 Proverbs gives us

00:22:56.419 --> 00:22:57.299
 practical wisdom

00:22:57.299 --> 00:22:59.099
 on how to live skillfully

00:22:59.099 --> 00:22:59.899
 in the world,

00:23:00.500 --> 00:23:02.240
 how to live well.

00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:03.859
 And it says three big things

00:23:03.859 --> 00:23:04.500
 about friends.

00:23:04.940 --> 00:23:05.440
 Number one,

00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:06.819
 true friends are rare.

00:23:08.059 --> 00:23:09.059
 Many claim to have

00:23:09.059 --> 00:23:09.799
 unfailing love,

00:23:09.859 --> 00:23:11.659
 but a faithful person

00:23:11.659 --> 00:23:13.019
 who can fight.

00:23:14.579 --> 00:23:15.579
 The writers of Proverbs

00:23:15.579 --> 00:23:16.159
 would also say,

00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:18.339
 bad friends bring ruin.

00:23:18.879 --> 00:23:19.759
 Proverbs 22,

00:23:19.940 --> 00:23:20.879
 make no friendship

00:23:20.879 --> 00:23:22.379
 with a man given to anger,

00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:24.480
 nor go with a wrathful man,

00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:26.339
 lest you learn his ways

00:23:26.339 --> 00:23:28.180
 and entangle yourself

00:23:28.180 --> 00:23:28.940
 in a snare.

00:23:31.740 --> 00:23:32.519
 But the Proverbs

00:23:32.519 --> 00:23:33.220
 would also say,

00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:34.440
 friends are integral

00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:35.620
 to gaining wisdom.

00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:37.319
 This famous proverb,

00:23:37.819 --> 00:23:39.400
 iron sharpens iron

00:23:39.400 --> 00:23:42.059
 as one man sharpens another.

00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:42.360
 That is,

00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:44.599
 we interact and share together.

00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:46.539
 Good friendships

00:23:46.539 --> 00:23:47.660
 make us sharper

00:23:47.660 --> 00:23:49.120
 and better.

00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:52.079
 Proverbs goes further,

00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:52.419
 though,

00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:54.500
 and paints a very vivid picture

00:23:54.500 --> 00:23:55.339
 of what good friends

00:23:55.339 --> 00:23:56.019
 look like.

00:23:57.019 --> 00:23:58.379
 I think Proverbs

00:23:58.379 --> 00:23:59.720
 gives us four foundations,

00:23:59.939 --> 00:24:00.839
 four building blocks

00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:01.619
 of true friendships.

00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:02.220
 Here they are.

00:24:03.819 --> 00:24:04.579
 True friendships,

00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:06.299
 true friends are there,

00:24:06.859 --> 00:24:08.099
 they are aware,

00:24:08.879 --> 00:24:09.659
 they dare,

00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:10.740
 and they share.

00:24:10.839 --> 00:24:11.579
 Perhaps we might say

00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:12.119
 that together,

00:24:12.679 --> 00:24:13.879
 stop us drifting off.

00:24:14.579 --> 00:24:16.439
 True friends are there,

00:24:16.740 --> 00:24:17.919
 they are aware,

00:24:18.399 --> 00:24:19.240
 they dare,

00:24:19.579 --> 00:24:20.579
 and they share.

00:24:20.579 --> 00:24:24.299
 Let me explain

00:24:24.299 --> 00:24:24.899
 what I mean.

00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:26.539
 Firstly,

00:24:26.699 --> 00:24:28.720
 true friends are there,

00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:30.659
 they are constant,

00:24:31.619 --> 00:24:32.679
 they are with you

00:24:32.679 --> 00:24:33.220
 for better,

00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:33.819
 for worse,

00:24:33.879 --> 00:24:35.240
 they are like the hobbits,

00:24:35.779 --> 00:24:37.019
 as they relate to Frodo,

00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:37.799
 we're coming with you

00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:38.679
 no matter what.

00:24:39.099 --> 00:24:40.679
 They are in the ups and downs,

00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:41.619
 in the triumphs,

00:24:41.659 --> 00:24:42.119
 the trials,

00:24:42.220 --> 00:24:43.259
 and the tribulations.

00:24:44.779 --> 00:24:45.779
 Proverbs 17,

00:24:45.899 --> 00:24:46.579
 verse 17,

00:24:46.579 --> 00:24:47.299
 17,

00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:50.000
 a friend loves at all times,

00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:51.720
 and a brother is born

00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:53.279
 for adversity.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:56.819
 A man of friends,

00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.879
 Proverbs 18,

00:24:58.399 --> 00:24:59.839
 a man of many companions

00:24:59.839 --> 00:25:00.819
 may come to ruin,

00:25:01.299 --> 00:25:02.740
 but there is a friend

00:25:02.740 --> 00:25:04.599
 who sticks closer

00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:05.259
 than a brother.

00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:08.599
 This is written in a society

00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:09.500
 where family

00:25:09.500 --> 00:25:11.919
 is of paramount importance.

00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:13.880
 And so for the writer

00:25:13.880 --> 00:25:15.140
 of this Proverbs

00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:16.580
 to say there is a friend

00:25:16.580 --> 00:25:18.039
 that is better

00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:18.779
 than a brother

00:25:18.779 --> 00:25:21.039
 is shocking.

00:25:22.620 --> 00:25:23.720
 But I think it is

00:25:23.720 --> 00:25:24.800
 very wise.

00:25:25.580 --> 00:25:26.720
 There is a friend,

00:25:26.820 --> 00:25:27.519
 a good friend,

00:25:27.620 --> 00:25:28.240
 good friends

00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:28.940
 can be better

00:25:28.940 --> 00:25:29.400
 than brothers.

00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:30.140
 Why?

00:25:30.259 --> 00:25:31.519
 Because in adversity,

00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:32.960
 family members

00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:33.720
 out of loyalty

00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:35.220
 may lend you a hand.

00:25:35.380 --> 00:25:36.800
 They're almost expected to.

00:25:37.360 --> 00:25:38.980
 But they may not like you.

00:25:38.980 --> 00:25:41.799
 Whereas a friend,

00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:43.720
 voluntarily compelled

00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:45.180
 by love,

00:25:46.620 --> 00:25:47.860
 says I'm sticking with you.

00:25:48.759 --> 00:25:49.880
 I'm sticking.

00:25:49.980 --> 00:25:51.380
 This word sticks

00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:54.019
 is the Hebrew word cleaves.

00:25:55.339 --> 00:25:56.299
 It is a commitment

00:25:56.299 --> 00:25:57.700
 out of steadfast love

00:25:57.700 --> 00:25:58.940
 that friends give

00:25:58.940 --> 00:26:00.880
 voluntarily to others.

00:26:03.059 --> 00:26:04.380
 Proverbs lists examples

00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:05.559
 of fair-weather friends,

00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:06.759
 not the friends you want.

00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:08.220
 Friendships that are there

00:26:08.220 --> 00:26:08.940
 in the good times,

00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:09.920
 but scarper.

00:26:10.460 --> 00:26:11.380
 I know you're all

00:26:11.380 --> 00:26:12.079
 my good friends

00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:13.000
 because you came out

00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:13.980
 on a night like tonight.

00:26:14.740 --> 00:26:16.140
 Whereas the fair-weather friends

00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:17.299
 thought it was a little cold

00:26:17.299 --> 00:26:18.900
 and a little wet.

00:26:20.420 --> 00:26:21.160
 Proverbs 19,

00:26:21.259 --> 00:26:22.799
 wealth brings many new friends,

00:26:23.299 --> 00:26:24.079
 but a poor man

00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.700
 is deserted by his friends.

00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:28.279
 Proverbs 14,

00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:29.799
 the poor is disliked

00:26:29.799 --> 00:26:30.539
 by his neighbor,

00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:31.680
 but the rich

00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:33.559
 has many friends.

00:26:34.259 --> 00:26:35.120
 Fair-weather friends

00:26:35.120 --> 00:26:36.019
 are only in

00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:37.599
 for the benefit

00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:38.299
 they can glean

00:26:38.299 --> 00:26:38.960
 for themselves.

00:26:40.839 --> 00:26:41.859
 If you want an example

00:26:41.859 --> 00:26:42.200
 of that,

00:26:42.259 --> 00:26:43.139
 the prodigal son.

00:26:43.619 --> 00:26:44.619
 He spends all his father's

00:26:44.619 --> 00:26:45.039
 inheritance,

00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:45.700
 he's surrounded

00:26:45.700 --> 00:26:46.660
 by loads of people.

00:26:47.700 --> 00:26:48.440
 When it runs out,

00:26:48.500 --> 00:26:49.579
 he quickly finds himself

00:26:49.579 --> 00:26:50.839
 alone in the pigsty

00:26:50.839 --> 00:26:52.960
 because he's just got

00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.160
 fair-weather friends.

00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:55.940
 True friends are there,

00:26:56.119 --> 00:26:56.839
 they are committed,

00:26:57.639 --> 00:26:58.319
 they're constant.

00:26:59.160 --> 00:26:59.599
 They're there

00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:00.660
 when the chips are down

00:27:00.660 --> 00:27:02.440
 and also when the ship

00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:03.539
 comes in.

00:27:03.579 --> 00:27:04.319
 True friends are

00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:05.220
 there.

00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:07.559
 But they are also

00:27:07.559 --> 00:27:08.159
 aware.

00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:10.399
 They're careful

00:27:10.399 --> 00:27:11.139
 with you.

00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:13.179
 They know you

00:27:13.179 --> 00:27:13.799
 and they know

00:27:13.799 --> 00:27:14.539
 how you feel.

00:27:14.879 --> 00:27:15.960
 They are emotionally

00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:16.700
 connected

00:27:16.700 --> 00:27:19.519
 and they get you.

00:27:20.779 --> 00:27:21.399
 They get you.

00:27:21.500 --> 00:27:22.379
 Proverbs highlights

00:27:22.379 --> 00:27:23.700
 very powerfully

00:27:23.700 --> 00:27:25.039
 the danger of people

00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:26.119
 and friends

00:27:26.119 --> 00:27:27.279
 that are not aware,

00:27:27.899 --> 00:27:28.399
 who speak

00:27:28.399 --> 00:27:29.599
 unthinkingly,

00:27:30.139 --> 00:27:31.500
 behave unsympathetically

00:27:31.500 --> 00:27:32.359
 and act

00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:33.720
 uncompassionately.

00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:35.899
 So Proverbs 26,

00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:37.179
 like a madman

00:27:37.179 --> 00:27:39.059
 who throws firebrands,

00:27:39.679 --> 00:27:40.960
 arrows and death,

00:27:41.139 --> 00:27:41.939
 is the man

00:27:41.939 --> 00:27:43.119
 who deceives his neighbor

00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:43.599
 and says,

00:27:43.700 --> 00:27:44.579
 I am only joking.

00:27:46.579 --> 00:27:47.500
 Proverbs 27,

00:27:47.639 --> 00:27:48.819
 whoever blesses his neighbor

00:27:48.819 --> 00:27:49.799
 with a loud voice

00:27:49.799 --> 00:27:51.559
 rising early in the morning

00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:52.460
 will be counted

00:27:52.460 --> 00:27:53.319
 as cursing.

00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:55.539
 Proverbs 25,

00:27:56.240 --> 00:27:58.500
 whoever sings songs

00:27:58.500 --> 00:27:59.559
 to a heavy heart

00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:00.299
 is like one

00:28:00.299 --> 00:28:00.980
 who takes off

00:28:00.980 --> 00:28:01.439
 a garment

00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:02.420
 on a cold day

00:28:02.420 --> 00:28:03.799
 and like vinegar

00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:05.200
 on soda.

00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:07.299
 Proverbs 25,

00:28:07.580 --> 00:28:08.299
 let your foot

00:28:08.299 --> 00:28:09.100
 be seldom

00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:11.180
 in your neighbor's house,

00:28:11.820 --> 00:28:12.779
 lest he have his fill

00:28:12.779 --> 00:28:13.080
 of you

00:28:13.080 --> 00:28:13.940
 and hate you.

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:16.420
 The common threads

00:28:16.420 --> 00:28:18.180
 of all of these Proverbs

00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:19.180
 is that these people

00:28:19.180 --> 00:28:20.360
 are not connected.

00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:21.880
 They don't have

00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:23.059
 the emotional savvy

00:28:23.059 --> 00:28:23.960
 to work out

00:28:23.960 --> 00:28:24.700
 what is really

00:28:24.700 --> 00:28:25.860
 going on.

00:28:26.860 --> 00:28:27.180
 So,

00:28:27.380 --> 00:28:28.240
 in the first one,

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:29.099
 there's the individual

00:28:29.099 --> 00:28:30.920
 who plays a trick,

00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:32.920
 who maybe is sarcastic,

00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:35.200
 but he doesn't know

00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:35.839
 you well enough

00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:36.380
 to know how

00:28:36.380 --> 00:28:37.279
 you're going to take it.

00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:37.500
 So,

00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:38.480
 when it all goes badly,

00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:39.039
 they just go,

00:28:39.140 --> 00:28:39.759
 I'm only joking.

00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:41.180
 So,

00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:41.900
 we know that

00:28:41.900 --> 00:28:43.099
 many a true statement

00:28:43.099 --> 00:28:44.420
 is hidden in jest.

00:28:45.740 --> 00:28:46.880
 They're not careful

00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:47.579
 with you.

00:28:48.120 --> 00:28:49.039
 They're not aware

00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:50.740
 of what makes you tick.

00:28:51.579 --> 00:28:52.079
 Or the man

00:28:52.079 --> 00:28:53.200
 who has good intentions

00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:54.519
 of blessing his neighbor,

00:28:54.519 --> 00:28:56.480
 but has not thought

00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:57.420
 that his early morning

00:28:57.420 --> 00:28:59.139
 hollering on the garden lawn

00:28:59.139 --> 00:29:00.180
 might be detrimental

00:29:00.180 --> 00:29:01.940
 to his sleep.

00:29:03.059 --> 00:29:04.240
 It's a good intention,

00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:05.440
 but he's not connected.

00:29:06.440 --> 00:29:07.900
 Or singing songs,

00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:09.099
 these are intrinsically

00:29:09.099 --> 00:29:10.720
 joy-filled songs,

00:29:11.339 --> 00:29:12.660
 singing joy-filled songs

00:29:12.660 --> 00:29:13.259
 to the man

00:29:13.259 --> 00:29:14.480
 with a heavy heart.

00:29:15.619 --> 00:29:16.400
 Someone crippled

00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:16.980
 with sadness

00:29:16.980 --> 00:29:18.379
 doesn't want you

00:29:18.379 --> 00:29:19.200
 to start the chorus,

00:29:19.319 --> 00:29:20.359
 I'm H-A-P-P-Y,

00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:21.460
 I'm H-A-P-P-Y,

00:29:21.539 --> 00:29:22.119
 I know I am,

00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:22.879
 I'm sure I am,

00:29:22.980 --> 00:29:24.500
 I'm H-A-P-P-Y,

00:29:24.639 --> 00:29:25.900
 it's insensitive.

00:29:27.660 --> 00:29:28.500
 Or the person

00:29:28.500 --> 00:29:29.139
 who doesn't know

00:29:29.139 --> 00:29:30.059
 when to leave.

00:29:31.059 --> 00:29:32.339
 He's not connected enough

00:29:32.339 --> 00:29:33.079
 to know when they've

00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:33.859
 maybe outstayed

00:29:33.859 --> 00:29:34.460
 their welcome.

00:29:36.839 --> 00:29:38.160
 Let your foot

00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:38.900
 be seldom

00:29:38.900 --> 00:29:39.960
 in your neighbor's house

00:29:39.960 --> 00:29:41.079
 lest he has his fill

00:29:41.079 --> 00:29:42.119
 of you and hate you.

00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:43.980
 True friends

00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:44.759
 are aware.

00:29:45.660 --> 00:29:46.379
 They're emotionally

00:29:46.379 --> 00:29:46.940
 connected

00:29:46.940 --> 00:29:47.819
 and they care

00:29:47.819 --> 00:29:49.240
 about what is done

00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:50.039
 and said

00:29:50.039 --> 00:29:50.960
 and how it's going

00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:51.839
 to impact you.

00:29:51.940 --> 00:29:52.579
 They're careful.

00:29:52.579 --> 00:29:55.220
 There's an emotional

00:29:55.220 --> 00:29:56.319
 connectedness.

00:29:57.699 --> 00:29:58.240
 Thirdly,

00:29:58.299 --> 00:29:58.899
 I think proverbs

00:29:58.899 --> 00:29:59.919
 say they dare.

00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:01.720
 And I think

00:30:01.720 --> 00:30:02.319
 this balances

00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:03.039
 perfectly

00:30:03.039 --> 00:30:03.819
 with the awareness

00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:04.399
 points.

00:30:05.139 --> 00:30:05.599
 It's not that

00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.279
 they just tread

00:30:06.279 --> 00:30:07.039
 on eggshells

00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:07.819
 around you,

00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:09.500
 but they're not

00:30:09.500 --> 00:30:10.619
 going to hurt you

00:30:10.619 --> 00:30:12.439
 unnecessarily.

00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:15.360
 that true friends

00:30:15.360 --> 00:30:16.279
 do tell people

00:30:16.279 --> 00:30:16.860
 what they need

00:30:16.860 --> 00:30:17.400
 to hear

00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:18.039
 for their

00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:18.720
 good.

00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:20.140
 They're emotionally

00:30:20.140 --> 00:30:21.080
 connected to you

00:30:21.080 --> 00:30:21.840
 so they're entering

00:30:21.840 --> 00:30:23.019
 into this problem

00:30:23.019 --> 00:30:23.720
 with you.

00:30:25.620 --> 00:30:26.779
 But they do love

00:30:26.779 --> 00:30:27.180
 you enough

00:30:27.180 --> 00:30:28.000
 to tell you.

00:30:29.180 --> 00:30:29.600
 Haven't we

00:30:29.600 --> 00:30:30.600
 so often thought,

00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:31.180
 oh, we can't

00:30:31.180 --> 00:30:32.000
 tell them that

00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:32.900
 because we love

00:30:32.900 --> 00:30:33.200
 them.

00:30:33.880 --> 00:30:34.539
 But what we're

00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:35.160
 really saying is

00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:35.840
 we love ourselves

00:30:35.840 --> 00:30:36.600
 so much that we

00:30:36.600 --> 00:30:37.180
 don't want to put

00:30:37.180 --> 00:30:37.779
 ourselves through

00:30:37.779 --> 00:30:38.400
 the emotional

00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.840
 ordeal of having

00:30:39.840 --> 00:30:40.559
 to tell people

00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:41.180
 perhaps things

00:30:41.180 --> 00:30:41.600
 that they don't

00:30:41.600 --> 00:30:42.200
 want to hear.

00:30:43.460 --> 00:30:43.940
 True friends

00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:44.500
 don't do it in

00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:45.700
 a vindictive way

00:30:45.700 --> 00:30:46.460
 to harm,

00:30:46.920 --> 00:30:47.680
 but in a loving

00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:48.480
 way to help.

00:30:48.560 --> 00:30:49.080
 There is a

00:30:49.080 --> 00:30:50.460
 candidness

00:30:50.460 --> 00:30:51.880
 amongst true

00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:52.460
 friends.

00:30:53.740 --> 00:30:54.380
 Say Proverbs

00:30:54.380 --> 00:30:55.980
 27 verse 5,

00:30:56.660 --> 00:30:57.560
 better is open

00:30:57.560 --> 00:30:58.279
 rebuke than

00:30:58.279 --> 00:30:59.200
 hidden love.

00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:01.120
 Better to

00:31:01.120 --> 00:31:01.920
 confront people

00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:02.580
 with the truth

00:31:02.580 --> 00:31:03.120
 they need to

00:31:03.120 --> 00:31:04.160
 hear than

00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.259
 cover it over

00:31:05.259 --> 00:31:05.840
 in an act of

00:31:05.840 --> 00:31:06.820
 self-preservation

00:31:06.820 --> 00:31:10.299
 and conceal

00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:11.139
 seal that you

00:31:11.139 --> 00:31:11.680
 love them.

00:31:13.460 --> 00:31:13.779
 Proverbs

00:31:13.779 --> 00:31:14.399
 27,

00:31:14.659 --> 00:31:15.720
 faithful are

00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:16.159
 the wounds

00:31:16.159 --> 00:31:17.019
 of a friend,

00:31:18.059 --> 00:31:18.819
 profuse are

00:31:18.819 --> 00:31:19.220
 the kisses

00:31:19.220 --> 00:31:19.879
 of an enemy.

00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:22.460
 Proverbs

00:31:22.460 --> 00:31:22.859
 28,

00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:23.859
 whoever rebukes

00:31:23.859 --> 00:31:24.819
 a man will

00:31:24.819 --> 00:31:25.619
 afterward find

00:31:25.619 --> 00:31:26.519
 more favor than

00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:27.700
 he who flutters

00:31:27.700 --> 00:31:29.119
 with his tongue.

00:31:29.659 --> 00:31:30.139
 Good friends

00:31:30.139 --> 00:31:30.839
 are not yes

00:31:30.839 --> 00:31:31.200
 men.

00:31:34.339 --> 00:31:35.139
 Good friends

00:31:35.139 --> 00:31:35.839
 are people out

00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:36.779
 of love for you,

00:31:36.899 --> 00:31:37.539
 want the best

00:31:37.539 --> 00:31:38.139
 for you,

00:31:38.140 --> 00:31:38.820
 and are

00:31:38.820 --> 00:31:39.800
 therefore prepared

00:31:39.800 --> 00:31:41.000
 to share what

00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:41.740
 might otherwise

00:31:41.740 --> 00:31:42.480
 be difficult.

00:31:43.560 --> 00:31:44.380
 Someone famously

00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:44.820
 quoted,

00:31:44.940 --> 00:31:45.440
 true friends

00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:45.960
 stab you in

00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:46.420
 the front.

00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:49.980
 Fourthly and

00:31:49.980 --> 00:31:50.480
 finally,

00:31:51.220 --> 00:31:51.720
 true friends

00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:52.240
 are there,

00:31:52.340 --> 00:31:53.040
 they are aware,

00:31:53.220 --> 00:31:54.400
 they dare,

00:31:54.800 --> 00:31:55.400
 and they

00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:56.460
 share.

00:31:57.380 --> 00:31:58.259
 There is a

00:31:58.259 --> 00:31:59.320
 transparency

00:31:59.320 --> 00:32:00.120
 to true

00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:00.460
 friendship.

00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:02.640
 There is a

00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:03.700
 sharing of

00:32:03.700 --> 00:32:04.240
 life.

00:32:05.300 --> 00:32:06.080
 There's not a

00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:07.379
 stiff upper lip,

00:32:08.220 --> 00:32:09.319
 rubbing shoulders,

00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:10.599
 this far but

00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:11.159
 no further,

00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:11.699
 there's an

00:32:11.699 --> 00:32:12.539
 openness.

00:32:13.579 --> 00:32:14.039
 You can

00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:14.559
 share with

00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:14.919
 them,

00:32:15.419 --> 00:32:15.859
 they can

00:32:15.859 --> 00:32:16.399
 share with

00:32:16.399 --> 00:32:16.699
 you.

00:32:17.460 --> 00:32:18.039
 There's a

00:32:18.039 --> 00:32:19.019
 two-way

00:32:19.019 --> 00:32:19.980
 transaction

00:32:19.980 --> 00:32:20.279
 going.

00:32:20.359 --> 00:32:20.639
 Don't we

00:32:20.639 --> 00:32:21.240
 find it so

00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:21.819
 disarming

00:32:21.819 --> 00:32:23.299
 when somebody

00:32:23.299 --> 00:32:23.899
 shares their

00:32:23.899 --> 00:32:24.399
 problems,

00:32:25.179 --> 00:32:25.899
 and suddenly

00:32:25.899 --> 00:32:26.240
 we think,

00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:26.539
 oh, I

00:32:26.539 --> 00:32:26.879
 could share

00:32:26.879 --> 00:32:27.579
 my problems.

00:32:30.740 --> 00:32:31.259
 Proverbs

00:32:31.259 --> 00:32:31.859
 27,

00:32:31.980 --> 00:32:32.599
 verse 9,

00:32:32.599 --> 00:32:34.559
 oil and

00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:35.259
 perfume make

00:32:35.259 --> 00:32:35.799
 the heart

00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:36.359
 glad,

00:32:37.199 --> 00:32:37.699
 and the

00:32:37.699 --> 00:32:38.859
 sweetness of

00:32:38.859 --> 00:32:39.279
 a friend

00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:39.799
 comes from

00:32:39.799 --> 00:32:40.579
 his earnest

00:32:40.579 --> 00:32:41.619
 counsel,

00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:43.699
 his earnest

00:32:43.699 --> 00:32:44.159
 counsel,

00:32:44.299 --> 00:32:45.240
 his heartfelt

00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:46.379
 openness.

00:32:47.959 --> 00:32:48.980
 He lists two

00:32:48.980 --> 00:32:49.519
 things that are

00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:50.419
 incredibly precious,

00:32:50.579 --> 00:32:50.959
 oil and

00:32:50.959 --> 00:32:51.319
 perfume,

00:32:51.699 --> 00:32:52.299
 and he says

00:32:52.299 --> 00:32:52.819
 when somebody

00:32:52.819 --> 00:32:53.859
 shares of

00:32:53.859 --> 00:32:54.519
 themselves with

00:32:54.519 --> 00:32:54.679
 you,

00:32:54.779 --> 00:32:55.500
 that's equally

00:32:55.500 --> 00:32:56.819
 as precious,

00:32:56.939 --> 00:32:57.619
 if not more.

00:32:58.519 --> 00:32:59.519
 That in true

00:32:59.519 --> 00:32:59.919
 friendship,

00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:00.359
 there's a

00:33:00.359 --> 00:33:00.939
 profound

00:33:00.939 --> 00:33:01.619
 openness,

00:33:01.619 --> 00:33:03.239
 a deep

00:33:03.239 --> 00:33:04.000
 sharing of

00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:04.479
 life that

00:33:04.479 --> 00:33:05.299
 is incredibly

00:33:05.299 --> 00:33:05.839
 precious.

00:33:07.199 --> 00:33:07.739
 To have

00:33:07.739 --> 00:33:08.379
 friends with

00:33:08.379 --> 00:33:08.699
 whom you

00:33:08.699 --> 00:33:09.079
 can share

00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:09.679
 your toughest

00:33:09.679 --> 00:33:10.459
 predicaments

00:33:10.459 --> 00:33:11.699
 and darkest

00:33:11.699 --> 00:33:13.099
 secrets in

00:33:13.099 --> 00:33:13.959
 confidence and

00:33:13.959 --> 00:33:14.539
 safety in

00:33:14.539 --> 00:33:15.039
 order to gain

00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:15.339
 help,

00:33:15.439 --> 00:33:15.739
 support,

00:33:15.879 --> 00:33:16.239
 assistance,

00:33:16.359 --> 00:33:16.459
 and

00:33:16.459 --> 00:33:17.039
 accountability

00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:19.000
 is incredibly

00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:19.559
 precious.

00:33:20.879 --> 00:33:21.259
 If we have

00:33:21.259 --> 00:33:21.959
 people who

00:33:21.959 --> 00:33:22.539
 are like that

00:33:22.539 --> 00:33:22.859
 for us,

00:33:22.899 --> 00:33:23.500
 we are truly

00:33:23.500 --> 00:33:24.339
 blessed people,

00:33:24.839 --> 00:33:25.679
 and it's

00:33:25.679 --> 00:33:26.099
 something we

00:33:26.099 --> 00:33:26.539
 all need,

00:33:26.579 --> 00:33:26.899
 so we've

00:33:26.899 --> 00:33:27.219
 all got to

00:33:27.219 --> 00:33:27.779
 work at it.

00:33:29.199 --> 00:33:29.479
 Proverbs

00:33:29.479 --> 00:33:30.319
 25 gives

00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:30.899
 us the flip

00:33:30.899 --> 00:33:31.279
 side,

00:33:31.619 --> 00:33:32.639
 argue your

00:33:32.639 --> 00:33:33.059
 case with

00:33:33.059 --> 00:33:33.500
 your neighbor

00:33:33.500 --> 00:33:33.859
 and do

00:33:33.859 --> 00:33:34.359
 not reveal

00:33:34.359 --> 00:33:34.659
 another

00:33:34.659 --> 00:33:35.099
 secret,

00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:37.299
 lest he

00:33:37.299 --> 00:33:38.019
 who hears

00:33:38.019 --> 00:33:38.559
 you bring

00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:39.279
 shame upon

00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:39.639
 you,

00:33:40.579 --> 00:33:41.059
 and your

00:33:41.059 --> 00:33:41.699
 ill repute

00:33:41.699 --> 00:33:42.159
 have no

00:33:42.159 --> 00:33:42.619
 end.

00:33:43.659 --> 00:33:44.339
 Someone who's

00:33:44.339 --> 00:33:45.019
 not transparent

00:33:45.019 --> 00:33:45.399
 with their

00:33:45.399 --> 00:33:45.899
 own life,

00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:46.859
 but absorbs

00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:47.559
 other secrets

00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:48.059
 and then

00:33:48.059 --> 00:33:49.379
 openly shares

00:33:49.379 --> 00:33:49.739
 them with

00:33:49.739 --> 00:33:50.379
 everyone else,

00:33:50.419 --> 00:33:50.659
 and it's

00:33:50.659 --> 00:33:51.079
 incredibly

00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:51.659
 hurtful,

00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:53.059
 incredibly

00:33:53.059 --> 00:33:53.659
 dangerous,

00:33:55.579 --> 00:33:56.259
 and as we

00:33:56.259 --> 00:33:57.039
 betray the

00:33:57.039 --> 00:33:57.459
 trust of

00:33:57.459 --> 00:33:57.719
 others,

00:33:57.779 --> 00:33:58.059
 no one

00:33:58.059 --> 00:33:58.539
 will trust

00:33:58.539 --> 00:33:59.039
 us.

00:34:00.359 --> 00:34:01.019
 Like people

00:34:01.019 --> 00:34:01.619
 that criticize

00:34:01.619 --> 00:34:02.319
 people all

00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:02.680
 the time,

00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:03.019
 I find

00:34:03.019 --> 00:34:03.539
 myself so

00:34:03.539 --> 00:34:04.000
 ready for

00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:04.180
 them,

00:34:04.899 --> 00:34:05.460
 so readily

00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:06.240
 disposed to

00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:06.440
 them,

00:34:07.559 --> 00:34:08.300
 that actually

00:34:08.300 --> 00:34:08.639
 if you

00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:10.039
 criticize two

00:34:10.039 --> 00:34:10.420
 people,

00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:10.860
 they think,

00:34:10.980 --> 00:34:11.320
 well, when I'm

00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:11.719
 not in the

00:34:11.719 --> 00:34:11.960
 room,

00:34:12.340 --> 00:34:12.699
 they must

00:34:12.699 --> 00:34:13.519
 criticize me.

00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:15.420
 We're very

00:34:15.420 --> 00:34:16.519
 caged towards

00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:17.059
 our friendship,

00:34:17.279 --> 00:34:17.820
 and people's

00:34:17.820 --> 00:34:18.360
 track record

00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:18.880
 really does

00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:20.759
 have an

00:34:20.759 --> 00:34:21.519
 impact on

00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:21.880
 whether we

00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:22.279
 trust them

00:34:22.279 --> 00:34:22.880
 or not.

00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:24.740
 So Proverbs

00:34:24.740 --> 00:34:25.440
 says,

00:34:26.700 --> 00:34:27.480
 good friends

00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:28.320
 are marked

00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:28.760
 by these

00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:29.519
 four qualities.

00:34:30.900 --> 00:34:31.700
 Good friends

00:34:31.700 --> 00:34:32.180
 are there,

00:34:32.300 --> 00:34:32.960
 they're constant,

00:34:33.660 --> 00:34:34.579
 they're aware,

00:34:35.240 --> 00:34:36.019
 they're careful,

00:34:36.680 --> 00:34:37.460
 they dare,

00:34:37.640 --> 00:34:38.619
 they're candid,

00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:40.700
 and they share.

00:34:43.640 --> 00:34:44.420
 There's a

00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:45.059
 counsel,

00:34:45.260 --> 00:34:46.300
 there's an

00:34:46.300 --> 00:34:46.820
 openness.

00:34:48.340 --> 00:34:48.760
 If you want

00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:49.280
 two instead

00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:49.720
 of four,

00:34:49.800 --> 00:34:50.119
 Tim Keller

00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:50.619
 comes up with

00:34:50.619 --> 00:34:50.880
 these,

00:34:51.200 --> 00:34:51.740
 good friends

00:34:51.739 --> 00:34:52.559
 always let

00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:53.019
 you in

00:34:53.019 --> 00:34:54.479
 and never

00:34:54.479 --> 00:34:54.859
 let you

00:34:54.859 --> 00:34:55.219
 down.

00:34:56.059 --> 00:34:56.799
 Good friends

00:34:56.799 --> 00:34:57.559
 always let

00:34:57.559 --> 00:34:57.919
 you in

00:34:57.919 --> 00:34:58.779
 and never

00:34:58.779 --> 00:34:59.939
 let you

00:34:59.939 --> 00:35:00.319
 down.

00:35:02.419 --> 00:35:02.699
 I don't

00:35:02.699 --> 00:35:02.919
 know how

00:35:02.919 --> 00:35:03.559
 you respond

00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:04.000
 to those

00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:04.899
 four things.

00:35:07.179 --> 00:35:07.839
 Are you

00:35:07.839 --> 00:35:08.639
 someone who

00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:10.399
 is there,

00:35:10.599 --> 00:35:11.319
 who's aware,

00:35:11.479 --> 00:35:12.239
 who shares,

00:35:13.199 --> 00:35:13.719
 and who's

00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:14.119
 daring?

00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:15.979
 As I

00:35:15.979 --> 00:35:16.799
 responded to

00:35:16.799 --> 00:35:17.239
 these four

00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:17.459
 things,

00:35:17.539 --> 00:35:17.979
 let me tell

00:35:17.979 --> 00:35:18.339
 you what

00:35:18.339 --> 00:35:18.859
 hit me.

00:35:19.979 --> 00:35:20.439
 The first

00:35:20.439 --> 00:35:20.819
 is this,

00:35:20.859 --> 00:35:21.339
 a real

00:35:21.339 --> 00:35:21.719
 longing.

00:35:21.739 --> 00:35:23.759
 I became

00:35:23.759 --> 00:35:24.479
 conscious of

00:35:24.479 --> 00:35:24.899
 both my

00:35:24.899 --> 00:35:25.819
 lack of

00:35:25.819 --> 00:35:26.779
 and need

00:35:26.779 --> 00:35:27.319
 for

00:35:27.319 --> 00:35:28.000
 good

00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:28.619
 friends.

00:35:29.419 --> 00:35:29.739
 True

00:35:29.739 --> 00:35:30.439
 friends like

00:35:30.439 --> 00:35:30.919
 this.

00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:32.619
 I'd say

00:35:32.619 --> 00:35:33.159
 I'd have a

00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:33.459
 lot of

00:35:33.459 --> 00:35:34.139
 acquaintances,

00:35:35.139 --> 00:35:36.259
 very few

00:35:36.259 --> 00:35:36.939
 really good

00:35:36.939 --> 00:35:37.500
 friends.

00:35:38.819 --> 00:35:39.299
 It's a sad

00:35:39.299 --> 00:35:39.959
 fact of life

00:35:39.959 --> 00:35:40.419
 that friends

00:35:40.419 --> 00:35:40.899
 are harder

00:35:40.899 --> 00:35:41.379
 to make

00:35:41.379 --> 00:35:42.139
 the older

00:35:42.139 --> 00:35:42.739
 you get.

00:35:44.819 --> 00:35:45.419
 School

00:35:45.419 --> 00:35:46.019
 was easy.

00:35:49.019 --> 00:35:49.459
 Conquers

00:35:49.459 --> 00:35:50.019
 seem to be

00:35:50.019 --> 00:35:50.639
 this perfect

00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:51.159
 thing for

00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:51.420
 making

00:35:51.420 --> 00:35:52.079
 friends

00:35:52.079 --> 00:35:52.500
 kick

00:35:52.500 --> 00:35:52.839
 around the

00:35:52.839 --> 00:35:53.059
 football

00:35:53.059 --> 00:35:53.579
 field.

00:35:54.219 --> 00:35:54.739
 University

00:35:54.739 --> 00:35:55.039
 quite

00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:55.579
 simple,

00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:56.440
 work

00:35:56.440 --> 00:35:57.539
 harder,

00:35:58.639 --> 00:35:59.159
 unless you

00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:00.319
 invite your

00:36:00.319 --> 00:36:00.699
 friends to

00:36:00.699 --> 00:36:00.960
 come and

00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:01.299
 work with

00:36:01.299 --> 00:36:01.519
 you.

00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:03.399
 I dare

00:36:03.399 --> 00:36:03.679
 say the

00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:04.099
 trajectory

00:36:04.099 --> 00:36:04.980
 continues into

00:36:04.980 --> 00:36:05.500
 later life.

00:36:05.579 --> 00:36:05.980
 Friends are

00:36:05.980 --> 00:36:06.779
 harder the

00:36:06.779 --> 00:36:07.279
 older we

00:36:07.279 --> 00:36:08.079
 get.

00:36:09.739 --> 00:36:10.259
 Also,

00:36:10.399 --> 00:36:11.039
 that friendships

00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:11.679
 are taken

00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:12.379
 away faster

00:36:12.379 --> 00:36:12.899
 than we can

00:36:12.899 --> 00:36:13.519
 forge them.

00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:15.500
 Making

00:36:15.500 --> 00:36:16.000
 really good

00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:17.119
 friends takes

00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:17.899
 time and

00:36:17.900 --> 00:36:18.700
 people's

00:36:18.700 --> 00:36:19.720
 mobility makes

00:36:19.720 --> 00:36:20.740
 forging good

00:36:20.740 --> 00:36:21.380
 friends difficult

00:36:21.380 --> 00:36:23.680
 with work and

00:36:23.680 --> 00:36:25.260
 opportunity taking

00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:26.059
 people away

00:36:26.059 --> 00:36:27.440
 the minute you

00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:28.059
 think you're just

00:36:28.059 --> 00:36:29.860
 on the cusp of

00:36:29.860 --> 00:36:30.500
 good friendships.

00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:32.500
 Time

00:36:32.500 --> 00:36:32.960
 pressures.

00:36:34.039 --> 00:36:34.639
 Friendship takes

00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:35.720
 time and we

00:36:35.720 --> 00:36:36.300
 live in a world

00:36:36.300 --> 00:36:36.740
 that is so

00:36:36.740 --> 00:36:37.960
 frantically busy

00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:38.579
 and hectic.

00:36:38.579 --> 00:36:41.179
 And the

00:36:41.179 --> 00:36:41.920
 pedestalling of

00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:42.960
 family life,

00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:44.639
 the protection

00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:45.380
 of time

00:36:45.380 --> 00:36:46.960
 inhibit our

00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:47.340
 friendships,

00:36:47.500 --> 00:36:47.940
 the deception

00:36:47.940 --> 00:36:49.079
 of Facebook,

00:36:49.219 --> 00:36:49.639
 he knew it

00:36:49.639 --> 00:36:50.079
 was coming,

00:36:51.679 --> 00:36:52.559
 the deception

00:36:52.559 --> 00:36:53.159
 of Facebook

00:36:53.159 --> 00:36:54.139
 and social

00:36:54.139 --> 00:36:54.759
 media and

00:36:54.759 --> 00:36:55.340
 email that

00:36:55.340 --> 00:36:56.159
 deceive us

00:36:56.159 --> 00:36:56.679
 into thinking

00:36:56.679 --> 00:36:57.259
 we have a

00:36:57.259 --> 00:36:58.400
 broad matrix

00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:00.019
 of spectacular

00:37:00.019 --> 00:37:00.559
 friendships,

00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:02.319
 when really

00:37:02.319 --> 00:37:02.840
 we have a

00:37:02.840 --> 00:37:03.699
 disconnected list

00:37:03.699 --> 00:37:04.299
 of strangers,

00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:05.019
 well-wishipping

00:37:05.019 --> 00:37:05.840
 acquaintances,

00:37:06.679 --> 00:37:07.460
 all in place

00:37:07.460 --> 00:37:08.559
 of flesh and

00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:09.840
 blood face-to-face

00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:10.679
 friendships.

00:37:12.039 --> 00:37:13.019
 We also spend

00:37:13.019 --> 00:37:13.779
 a lot of time

00:37:13.779 --> 00:37:14.719
 on one-way

00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:15.139
 friendships,

00:37:16.139 --> 00:37:16.699
 where we

00:37:16.699 --> 00:37:17.619
 expend emotional

00:37:17.619 --> 00:37:18.420
 energy as we

00:37:18.420 --> 00:37:19.400
 bond with

00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:20.139
 sports stars,

00:37:20.279 --> 00:37:21.460
 actors and

00:37:21.460 --> 00:37:22.480
 other icons,

00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:24.179
 or reducing

00:37:24.179 --> 00:37:24.820
 our ability

00:37:24.820 --> 00:37:25.619
 to make good

00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:26.619
 friends.

00:37:26.719 --> 00:37:27.079
 All these

00:37:27.079 --> 00:37:27.679
 things,

00:37:28.539 --> 00:37:29.159
 though maybe

00:37:29.159 --> 00:37:30.000
 increasing the

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:30.739
 quantity of

00:37:30.739 --> 00:37:31.539
 our relationships,

00:37:32.679 --> 00:37:33.279
 definitely

00:37:33.279 --> 00:37:34.000
 reduce the

00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:35.440
 quality of

00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:35.920
 our friendships.

00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:37.880
 So as I

00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:38.460
 thought of

00:37:38.460 --> 00:37:39.159
 what is a

00:37:39.159 --> 00:37:39.659
 true friend,

00:37:39.720 --> 00:37:40.119
 I had a

00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:40.820
 real longing

00:37:40.820 --> 00:37:42.420
 to have

00:37:42.420 --> 00:37:43.139
 better friends,

00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:43.800
 not that my

00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:44.320
 friends are not

00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:44.820
 good friends,

00:37:44.900 --> 00:37:45.920
 but to have

00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:46.619
 deeper friends

00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:47.380
 and stronger

00:37:47.380 --> 00:37:48.440
 friendships.

00:37:50.619 --> 00:37:51.059
 Secondly,

00:37:51.240 --> 00:37:51.820
 as well as a

00:37:51.820 --> 00:37:52.280
 sense of

00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:52.740
 longing,

00:37:54.679 --> 00:37:55.480
 this study in

00:37:55.480 --> 00:37:56.460
 true friendship

00:37:56.460 --> 00:37:57.400
 created a sense

00:37:57.400 --> 00:37:58.039
 of conviction.

00:37:59.539 --> 00:38:00.579
 It revealed that

00:38:00.579 --> 00:38:01.519
 I am not always

00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:02.280
 a very good

00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:02.599
 friend,

00:38:03.800 --> 00:38:04.360
 and I think

00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:04.920
 as a general

00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:05.559
 rule of thumb,

00:38:05.639 --> 00:38:06.039
 good friends

00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:06.440
 have good

00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:06.880
 friends.

00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:09.280
 people that

00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:09.740
 are there,

00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:10.420
 who share,

00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:11.019
 who dare,

00:38:11.140 --> 00:38:11.440
 who are

00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:11.900
 aware,

00:38:12.780 --> 00:38:13.180
 find that

00:38:13.180 --> 00:38:13.539
 there's other

00:38:13.539 --> 00:38:14.000
 people in

00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:14.480
 their lives

00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:14.760
 who do

00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:15.260
 the same

00:38:15.260 --> 00:38:16.460
 for them.

00:38:20.260 --> 00:38:20.880
 So it

00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:21.220
 is, I

00:38:21.220 --> 00:38:21.559
 think,

00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:22.019
 as I go

00:38:22.019 --> 00:38:22.380
 on from

00:38:22.380 --> 00:38:22.840
 here with

00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:23.640
 God's help,

00:38:24.619 --> 00:38:26.160
 I seek to

00:38:26.160 --> 00:38:26.920
 exhibit these

00:38:26.920 --> 00:38:27.680
 qualities to

00:38:27.680 --> 00:38:28.260
 others,

00:38:29.660 --> 00:38:30.599
 that a

00:38:30.599 --> 00:38:31.059
 hope will

00:38:31.059 --> 00:38:31.420
 find them

00:38:31.420 --> 00:38:32.320
 reciprocated to

00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:32.760
 me and my

00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:33.140
 friendships

00:38:33.140 --> 00:38:33.900
 deepened.

00:38:33.900 --> 00:38:35.820
 we need

00:38:35.820 --> 00:38:36.200
 to raise

00:38:36.200 --> 00:38:36.579
 the bar

00:38:36.579 --> 00:38:37.180
 of friendship.

00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:38.539
 So many

00:38:38.539 --> 00:38:38.920
 of us are

00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:39.360
 looking for

00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:40.099
 people around

00:38:40.099 --> 00:38:40.519
 whom we

00:38:40.519 --> 00:38:40.860
 can be

00:38:40.860 --> 00:38:41.420
 ourselves,

00:38:42.380 --> 00:38:43.079
 but the

00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:43.940
 true genius

00:38:43.940 --> 00:38:44.519
 of true

00:38:44.519 --> 00:38:45.160
 friendship is

00:38:45.160 --> 00:38:45.660
 that true

00:38:45.660 --> 00:38:46.240
 friends make

00:38:46.240 --> 00:38:46.880
 us better

00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:47.579
 than

00:38:47.579 --> 00:38:48.139
 ourselves.

00:38:49.720 --> 00:38:50.400
 People that

00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:50.960
 are always

00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.119
 encouraging us,

00:38:52.619 --> 00:38:53.180
 particularly in a

00:38:53.180 --> 00:38:53.800
 Christian sense,

00:38:53.880 --> 00:38:54.320
 people that are

00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:55.500
 always encouraging

00:38:55.500 --> 00:38:56.519
 us to pursue

00:38:56.519 --> 00:38:57.700
 Jesus more.

00:38:57.699 --> 00:39:03.919
 Proverbs 13

00:39:03.919 --> 00:39:04.579
 verse 20,

00:39:04.699 --> 00:39:05.339
 whoever walks

00:39:05.339 --> 00:39:05.839
 with the wise

00:39:05.839 --> 00:39:07.059
 becomes wise,

00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:08.539
 but the

00:39:08.539 --> 00:39:09.259
 companion of

00:39:09.259 --> 00:39:09.679
 fools will

00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:10.679
 suffer harm.

00:39:11.779 --> 00:39:12.279
 Which brings

00:39:12.279 --> 00:39:13.419
 us into land

00:39:13.419 --> 00:39:14.039
 on the how

00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:14.679
 of friendship.

00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:16.419
 How can we

00:39:16.419 --> 00:39:17.179
 be better

00:39:17.179 --> 00:39:17.799
 friends?

00:39:19.159 --> 00:39:19.699
 Well, the

00:39:19.699 --> 00:39:20.139
 answer, I

00:39:20.139 --> 00:39:20.859
 think, is that

00:39:20.859 --> 00:39:21.839
 universal Sunday

00:39:21.839 --> 00:39:22.579
 school answer,

00:39:23.179 --> 00:39:23.519
 Jesus.

00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:27.079
 Some remarkable

00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:27.840
 things about

00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:28.239
 Jesus.

00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:31.360
 They crucify him

00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:31.840
 because he's

00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:32.579
 friends with the

00:39:32.579 --> 00:39:33.239
 wrong people.

00:39:34.059 --> 00:39:35.019
 Always being

00:39:35.019 --> 00:39:35.800
 told, why are

00:39:35.800 --> 00:39:36.320
 you friends with

00:39:36.320 --> 00:39:36.599
 them?

00:39:37.259 --> 00:39:37.679
 Why are you

00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:38.340
 hanging out with

00:39:38.340 --> 00:39:39.099
 sinners and tax

00:39:39.099 --> 00:39:39.380
 collectors?

00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:39.840
 Why are you

00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:40.400
 their friends?

00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.000
 Jesus known as

00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:43.840
 the friend of

00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:44.159
 sinners.

00:39:45.860 --> 00:39:46.840
 Jesus who's

00:39:46.840 --> 00:39:50.259
 open, who

00:39:50.259 --> 00:39:51.039
 shares his

00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:52.900
 life, who

00:39:52.900 --> 00:39:53.900
 tells people

00:39:53.900 --> 00:39:54.260
 what they

00:39:54.260 --> 00:39:54.880
 really need

00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:55.420
 to hear,

00:39:56.539 --> 00:39:57.160
 who is very

00:39:57.160 --> 00:39:58.700
 careful with

00:39:58.700 --> 00:39:59.139
 people.

00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:03.260
 In John 15,

00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:04.220
 something remarkable

00:40:04.220 --> 00:40:04.860
 happens.

00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:07.119
 This is my

00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:07.579
 commandment,

00:40:07.619 --> 00:40:08.139
 that you love

00:40:08.139 --> 00:40:08.860
 one another as

00:40:08.860 --> 00:40:09.440
 I have loved

00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:09.599
 you.

00:40:09.700 --> 00:40:10.360
 Greater love

00:40:10.360 --> 00:40:10.940
 is no one

00:40:10.940 --> 00:40:11.599
 than this,

00:40:12.280 --> 00:40:12.840
 that someone

00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:13.579
 lay down his

00:40:13.579 --> 00:40:14.139
 life for his

00:40:14.139 --> 00:40:14.660
 friends.

00:40:15.720 --> 00:40:16.500
 You are my

00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:18.280
 friends, if you

00:40:18.280 --> 00:40:18.760
 do what I

00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:19.240
 command you.

00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:19.920
 No longer do

00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:20.480
 I call you

00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:22.039
 servants, for

00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:22.480
 the servant

00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:23.139
 does not know

00:40:23.139 --> 00:40:24.199
 his master is

00:40:24.199 --> 00:40:24.539
 doing.

00:40:25.780 --> 00:40:26.400
 But I have

00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:26.740
 called you

00:40:26.740 --> 00:40:28.860
 friends, for

00:40:28.860 --> 00:40:29.179
 all that I

00:40:29.179 --> 00:40:29.500
 have heard

00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:29.920
 from my

00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:30.420
 father I

00:40:30.420 --> 00:40:30.760
 have made

00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:31.719
 known to

00:40:31.719 --> 00:40:32.039
 you.

00:40:33.900 --> 00:40:34.219
 Do you see

00:40:34.219 --> 00:40:34.880
 Jesus lets

00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:35.300
 us in?

00:40:36.179 --> 00:40:36.719
 He lets us

00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:37.079
 know his

00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:38.579
 business, not

00:40:38.579 --> 00:40:38.940
 just his

00:40:38.940 --> 00:40:39.500
 business but

00:40:39.500 --> 00:40:40.019
 he tells us

00:40:40.019 --> 00:40:40.380
 about the

00:40:40.380 --> 00:40:40.780
 father's

00:40:40.780 --> 00:40:41.320
 business as

00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:41.579
 well.

00:40:42.980 --> 00:40:43.320
 That he

00:40:43.320 --> 00:40:43.840
 never lets

00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:44.360
 us down,

00:40:45.280 --> 00:40:45.980
 even when it

00:40:45.980 --> 00:40:47.500
 cost him his

00:40:47.500 --> 00:40:49.139
 own life, he

00:40:49.139 --> 00:40:50.320
 willingly went

00:40:50.320 --> 00:40:51.039
 all the way

00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:52.480
 for us.

00:40:53.519 --> 00:40:54.400
 Jesus always

00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.059
 lets us in

00:40:55.059 --> 00:40:56.559
 and he

00:40:56.559 --> 00:40:58.340
 never lets

00:40:58.340 --> 00:40:58.860
 us down.

00:41:00.420 --> 00:41:00.600
 It's

00:41:00.600 --> 00:41:01.300
 remarkable as

00:41:01.300 --> 00:41:01.860
 friendship with

00:41:01.860 --> 00:41:02.680
 God lost at

00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:03.780
 the fall, only

00:41:03.780 --> 00:41:04.640
 seen twice in

00:41:04.640 --> 00:41:04.960
 the Old

00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:05.519
 Testament, is

00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:06.180
 now available

00:41:06.180 --> 00:41:07.140
 to you and

00:41:07.140 --> 00:41:08.500
 me through

00:41:08.500 --> 00:41:09.440
 Jesus Christ.

00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:11.240
 At the start

00:41:11.240 --> 00:41:11.780
 we said that

00:41:11.780 --> 00:41:12.460
 sin spoiled

00:41:12.460 --> 00:41:13.440
 relationship because

00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:14.380
 it focused us on

00:41:14.380 --> 00:41:15.559
 ourselves and

00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:16.280
 yet in Jesus

00:41:16.280 --> 00:41:16.720
 and his

00:41:16.720 --> 00:41:17.600
 sacrifice for

00:41:17.600 --> 00:41:18.080
 us we have

00:41:18.080 --> 00:41:19.059
 one who dies

00:41:19.059 --> 00:41:20.259
 for us to

00:41:20.259 --> 00:41:20.840
 disarm the

00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:21.259
 power of

00:41:21.259 --> 00:41:22.299
 sin and

00:41:22.299 --> 00:41:23.400
 self in

00:41:23.400 --> 00:41:23.960
 our lives and

00:41:23.960 --> 00:41:25.099
 liberates us

00:41:25.099 --> 00:41:26.480
 to be good

00:41:26.480 --> 00:41:26.960
 friends.

00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:28.480
 We have one

00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:29.119
 who gave up

00:41:29.119 --> 00:41:29.799
 his eternal

00:41:29.799 --> 00:41:30.659
 Trinitarian

00:41:30.659 --> 00:41:32.759
 friendship so

00:41:32.759 --> 00:41:33.119
 that our

00:41:33.119 --> 00:41:33.719
 friendship with

00:41:33.719 --> 00:41:34.099
 God and

00:41:34.099 --> 00:41:34.559
 others could

00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:35.699
 be restarted.

00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:37.559
 At the cross

00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:38.199
 the God's

00:41:38.199 --> 00:41:39.380
 head's friendship

00:41:39.380 --> 00:41:40.320
 was ruptured so

00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:40.699
 that our

00:41:40.699 --> 00:41:42.360
 friendship could

00:41:42.360 --> 00:41:42.940
 be repaired.

00:41:44.219 --> 00:41:44.779
 And his

00:41:44.779 --> 00:41:45.360
 wounds are

00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:46.360
 ultimately the

00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:46.900
 wounds of a

00:41:46.900 --> 00:41:47.199
 friend.

00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:48.779
 wounds that

00:41:48.779 --> 00:41:49.179
 he doesn't

00:41:49.179 --> 00:41:49.879
 afflict on

00:41:49.879 --> 00:41:50.419
 us but

00:41:50.419 --> 00:41:50.919
 wounds that

00:41:50.919 --> 00:41:51.679
 he takes

00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:52.819
 in our

00:41:52.819 --> 00:41:53.359
 place.

00:41:56.519 --> 00:41:57.259
 Crucified for

00:41:57.259 --> 00:41:57.859
 being friends

00:41:57.859 --> 00:41:58.299
 with the wrong

00:41:58.299 --> 00:41:59.000
 people, sinners

00:41:59.000 --> 00:41:59.500
 and tax

00:41:59.500 --> 00:42:02.500
 collectors, you

00:42:02.500 --> 00:42:03.039
 and me.

00:42:05.419 --> 00:42:06.379
 Jesus is a

00:42:06.379 --> 00:42:07.359
 wonderful friend.

00:42:07.480 --> 00:42:08.899
 He comes so

00:42:08.899 --> 00:42:10.659
 far to be

00:42:10.659 --> 00:42:11.359
 friends with you

00:42:11.359 --> 00:42:11.739
 and me.

00:42:12.139 --> 00:42:13.559
 It dissolves

00:42:13.559 --> 00:42:14.179
 this idea that

00:42:14.179 --> 00:42:14.799
 we can only be

00:42:14.799 --> 00:42:15.460
 friends with people

00:42:15.460 --> 00:42:16.220
 like us.

00:42:17.159 --> 00:42:17.940
 Jesus is not

00:42:17.940 --> 00:42:18.500
 like us at

00:42:18.500 --> 00:42:18.639
 all.

00:42:18.699 --> 00:42:19.099
 There's no

00:42:19.099 --> 00:42:20.099
 one less

00:42:20.099 --> 00:42:20.940
 like us.

00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:22.940
 And yet he

00:42:22.940 --> 00:42:23.699
 comes and he

00:42:23.699 --> 00:42:24.720
 befriends us.

00:42:25.440 --> 00:42:26.000
 The ultimate

00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:26.880
 friend who does

00:42:26.880 --> 00:42:27.800
 make us better

00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:29.320
 than ourselves.

00:42:31.240 --> 00:42:31.940
 Jesus is the

00:42:31.940 --> 00:42:32.599
 ultimate friend

00:42:32.599 --> 00:42:33.559
 who liberates us

00:42:33.559 --> 00:42:34.740
 to be a true

00:42:34.740 --> 00:42:35.699
 friend and pursue

00:42:35.699 --> 00:42:36.659
 true friendships.

00:42:37.639 --> 00:42:38.519
 Greater love

00:42:38.519 --> 00:42:39.139
 has no one

00:42:39.139 --> 00:42:39.740
 than this that

00:42:39.740 --> 00:42:40.539
 one lay down

00:42:40.539 --> 00:42:41.159
 his life for

00:42:41.159 --> 00:42:41.900
 his friends.

00:42:42.420 --> 00:42:42.920
 Than the

00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:43.639
 greatest friend

00:42:43.639 --> 00:42:45.059
 is the one

00:42:45.059 --> 00:42:45.739
 who laid down

00:42:45.739 --> 00:42:46.279
 the most

00:42:46.279 --> 00:42:47.119
 for his

00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:47.460
 friends.

00:42:47.579 --> 00:42:48.819
 Jesus is

00:42:48.819 --> 00:42:49.319
 the ultimate

00:42:49.319 --> 00:42:49.900
 friend, a

00:42:49.900 --> 00:42:50.599
 divine friend

00:42:50.599 --> 00:42:51.099
 better than

00:42:51.099 --> 00:42:51.579
 any other

00:42:51.579 --> 00:42:51.940
 friend.

00:42:52.699 --> 00:42:53.239
 The friend

00:42:53.239 --> 00:42:53.920
 who is always

00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:55.259
 there, promising

00:42:55.259 --> 00:42:55.960
 to be with us

00:42:55.960 --> 00:42:56.420
 to the very

00:42:56.420 --> 00:42:56.980
 end of the

00:42:56.980 --> 00:42:57.420
 age.

00:42:57.759 --> 00:42:58.239
 The friend

00:42:58.239 --> 00:42:59.019
 who is slow

00:42:59.019 --> 00:42:59.639
 to anger,

00:43:00.059 --> 00:43:00.319
 who is

00:43:00.319 --> 00:43:01.059
 thoughtful and

00:43:01.059 --> 00:43:01.920
 tender, who

00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:02.659
 is eternally

00:43:02.659 --> 00:43:03.639
 trustworthy, who

00:43:03.639 --> 00:43:04.359
 will never let

00:43:04.359 --> 00:43:04.879
 us down.

00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:05.659
 One who

00:43:05.659 --> 00:43:06.199
 shares our

00:43:06.199 --> 00:43:07.099
 pain, comforts

00:43:07.099 --> 00:43:07.679
 us in sorrow

00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:08.699
 and sympathizes

00:43:08.699 --> 00:43:09.359
 with us in

00:43:09.359 --> 00:43:09.779
 weakness.

00:43:10.339 --> 00:43:11.519
 He rescues us

00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:12.159
 from our great

00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:12.719
 trouble and

00:43:12.719 --> 00:43:13.539
 liberates us

00:43:13.539 --> 00:43:14.039
 to ripple

00:43:14.039 --> 00:43:14.739
 his friendship

00:43:14.739 --> 00:43:16.099
 of loving

00:43:16.099 --> 00:43:16.739
 us to death

00:43:16.739 --> 00:43:17.159
 out to

00:43:17.159 --> 00:43:17.679
 others.

00:43:18.219 --> 00:43:18.819
 He is the

00:43:18.819 --> 00:43:19.639
 ultimate friend

00:43:19.639 --> 00:43:20.039
 who is

00:43:20.039 --> 00:43:21.419
 constantly working

00:43:21.419 --> 00:43:21.919
 to make us

00:43:21.919 --> 00:43:22.399
 better than

00:43:22.399 --> 00:43:23.899
 ourselves and

00:43:23.899 --> 00:43:24.399
 from one

00:43:24.399 --> 00:43:24.899
 degree of

00:43:24.899 --> 00:43:26.259
 newness to

00:43:26.259 --> 00:43:26.679
 another.

00:43:28.639 --> 00:43:29.199
 It is right

00:43:29.199 --> 00:43:29.779
 to conclude

00:43:29.779 --> 00:43:30.419
 what a friend

00:43:30.419 --> 00:43:30.939
 we have in

00:43:30.939 --> 00:43:31.279
 Jesus.

00:43:32.099 --> 00:43:32.899
 All our sins

00:43:32.899 --> 00:43:33.419
 and griefs

00:43:33.419 --> 00:43:33.879
 to bear, what

00:43:33.879 --> 00:43:34.659
 a privilege to

00:43:34.659 --> 00:43:36.179
 carry everything

00:43:36.179 --> 00:43:36.779
 to God in

00:43:36.779 --> 00:43:36.939
 prayer.

00:43:37.059 --> 00:43:38.019
 Here's the

00:43:38.019 --> 00:43:38.579
 big lesson

00:43:38.579 --> 00:43:39.179
 of the day.

00:43:40.099 --> 00:43:40.659
 How can we

00:43:40.659 --> 00:43:41.079
 be better

00:43:41.079 --> 00:43:41.639
 friends?

00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:43.559
 By having

00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:44.439
 a deeper

00:43:44.439 --> 00:43:45.659
 friendship

00:43:45.659 --> 00:43:46.279
 with Jesus

00:43:46.279 --> 00:43:46.779
 Christ.

00:43:48.579 --> 00:43:49.559
 And as we

00:43:49.559 --> 00:43:51.059
 befriend him

00:43:51.059 --> 00:43:51.799
 closer, he

00:43:51.799 --> 00:43:52.599
 rubs off onto

00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:54.719
 us, which

00:43:54.719 --> 00:43:55.500
 enables us to

00:43:55.500 --> 00:43:56.000
 be the kind

00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:57.539
 of people that

00:43:57.539 --> 00:43:59.379
 others love and

00:43:59.379 --> 00:44:00.199
 benefit and

00:44:00.199 --> 00:44:02.000
 grow from being

00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:03.219
 friends with.

00:44:03.779 --> 00:44:04.239
 How do you

00:44:04.239 --> 00:44:04.839
 become a tree

00:44:04.839 --> 00:44:05.179
 friend?

00:44:06.039 --> 00:44:07.679
 Look at love

00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:09.139
 and imitate the

00:44:09.139 --> 00:44:10.079
 Lord Jesus who

00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:11.799
 is our ultimate

00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:13.400
 friend forever.

00:44:14.080 --> 00:44:14.840
 Let me pray.

00:44:22.060 --> 00:44:22.700
 Father God,

00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:23.440
 thank you that

00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:23.980
 you don't call

00:44:23.980 --> 00:44:24.720
 us servants.

00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:27.000
 Father, we

00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:27.500
 weren't even

00:44:27.500 --> 00:44:28.480
 worthy of that.

00:44:30.100 --> 00:44:30.920
 Father, but you

00:44:30.920 --> 00:44:32.680
 call us friends.

00:44:34.440 --> 00:44:35.480
 That in Jesus,

00:44:35.660 --> 00:44:36.300
 our ultimate

00:44:36.300 --> 00:44:38.680
 friend, the hope

00:44:38.680 --> 00:44:39.519
 of friendship, the

00:44:39.519 --> 00:44:40.420
 benefit of friendship,

00:44:40.420 --> 00:44:41.280
 the glory of

00:44:41.280 --> 00:44:41.840
 friendship with

00:44:41.840 --> 00:44:43.360
 you is possible.

00:44:45.360 --> 00:44:46.240
 And so our

00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:47.059
 prayer is that you

00:44:47.059 --> 00:44:47.720
 would make us

00:44:47.720 --> 00:44:49.599
 more like the

00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:51.119
 friends that Jesus

00:44:51.119 --> 00:44:52.200
 has been to us.

00:44:53.420 --> 00:44:54.360
 That we would be

00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:55.000
 friends that are

00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:55.900
 constant, friends

00:44:55.900 --> 00:44:56.680
 that are careful.

00:44:58.740 --> 00:44:59.579
 Father, friends that

00:44:59.579 --> 00:45:00.139
 are candid.

00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:03.180
 Friends that are

00:45:03.180 --> 00:45:04.639
 continuously encouraging

00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:05.639
 each other to be more

00:45:05.639 --> 00:45:06.180
 like Jesus.

00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:08.420
 Father, we don't just

00:45:08.420 --> 00:45:08.820
 want to rub

00:45:08.820 --> 00:45:09.460
 shoulders.

00:45:10.579 --> 00:45:10.980
 Father, we don't

00:45:10.980 --> 00:45:11.760
 want to just stop

00:45:11.760 --> 00:45:12.539
 at fellowship and

00:45:12.539 --> 00:45:13.159
 think that that's

00:45:13.159 --> 00:45:13.579
 enough.

00:45:14.860 --> 00:45:16.079
 But Father, I pray

00:45:16.079 --> 00:45:17.820
 in our church we

00:45:17.820 --> 00:45:18.880
 would have deep and

00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:19.980
 rich and fruitful

00:45:19.980 --> 00:45:21.500
 and edifying

00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:24.119
 friendships that

00:45:24.119 --> 00:45:26.260
 would help us in

00:45:26.260 --> 00:45:27.000
 our journey of

00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:28.000
 faith pursuing your

00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:28.579
 son Jesus.

00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:30.320
 In whose name we

00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:30.639
 pray.

00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:31.680
 Amen.