WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.099 Turn with me in your Bibles to those sections of 1 Samuel, 1 Samuel chapter 18 on page 290. 00:00:09.120 --> 00:00:14.019 We continue in our series, Made for Friendship. 00:00:14.500 --> 00:00:20.780 The Bible teaches us that you and I as human beings, we're made for relationship, we're made for friendship. 00:00:20.900 --> 00:00:25.780 And here we find, in a sense, a model friendship presented to us in the Bible, 00:00:25.780 --> 00:00:35.200 particularly focusing on Jonathan and his friendship towards David in increasingly difficult circumstances. 00:00:36.380 --> 00:00:44.540 Let's begin our time with a testimony that comes from North Korea of costly friendship. 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:47.320 I read this a few days ago. 00:00:47.320 --> 00:01:00.799 A lady called Heowoo, a survivor of one of the North Korean prison camps where Christians are put for hard labor because of their faith. 00:01:02.939 --> 00:01:12.539 She came on a visit to the UK, this lady Heowoo, and she gave to the head of the Open Doors charity a pair of socks. 00:01:12.540 --> 00:01:19.780 And on the pair of socks were written, adversity does teach you who your real friends are. 00:01:20.300 --> 00:01:32.520 Now, she wrote that on a pair of socks so that her friends in the UK would remember to walk with, as it were, North Korean Christians going through persecution. 00:01:32.519 --> 00:01:43.539 But Heowoo tells this story of life in a prison camp and the time when they instituted as Christians a policy of holy rice. 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:48.280 So the conditions were awful, as you might be able to imagine. 00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:57.340 From early morning until lunchtime, they were given three teaspoons of rice to keep them going on the labor camp. 00:01:57.340 --> 00:02:01.560 But the Christians in this particular camp practiced holy rice. 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:03.519 So what they did was they ate half. 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:05.700 So they had one and a half teaspoons for themselves. 00:02:05.980 --> 00:02:13.140 And then they deliberately kept the other one and a half teaspoons of rice to give to somebody else that was in more need than them. 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.020 And they did that for two reasons. 00:02:15.099 --> 00:02:20.420 They did that to express their fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ. 00:02:20.420 --> 00:02:27.180 But they also did that to build up trust with non-Christians as a way to say, we love you. 00:02:27.539 --> 00:02:29.319 We want you to know about the love of Jesus. 00:02:29.319 --> 00:02:33.000 It's a really profound demonstration of costly friendship. 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:40.479 Maybe we know the second great commandment that Jesus spoke of, love your neighbor as yourself. 00:02:41.159 --> 00:02:46.719 We have probably heard the golden rule, do to others as you would want them to do to you. 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:52.199 And we understand that these are wonderful qualities to find in a person. 00:02:53.740 --> 00:02:57.419 But isn't it difficult sometimes to be that person? 00:02:57.419 --> 00:03:01.359 Today, we're going to look at Jonathan. 00:03:01.859 --> 00:03:08.279 We're going to look at Jonathan as a model friend in David's joys and in David's sorrows. 00:03:08.759 --> 00:03:14.019 So that we can learn for ourselves, what does true friendship look like? 00:03:14.859 --> 00:03:20.979 And to think, how does Jonathan provide a model that points us forward to Jesus? 00:03:20.979 --> 00:03:30.899 So we're going to look very briefly at five qualities of Jonathan's friendship that we can identify from these texts that we read and another one. 00:03:31.259 --> 00:03:36.280 The first quality that really stands out is that of affection. 00:03:37.500 --> 00:03:40.539 So Donald read from us from chapter 18 of 1 Samuel. 00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:46.579 Now, this comes straight after David had won that famous victory over the giant Goliath. 00:03:46.580 --> 00:03:50.260 And in chapter 18, verse 1, we read, 00:03:51.020 --> 00:04:00.260 Now, these two men, in some ways, were similar. 00:04:00.920 --> 00:04:03.600 Both young, both brave. 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:06.460 Both men of strong faith in God. 00:04:06.880 --> 00:04:12.760 Had both won victories in battle because of their faith in God. 00:04:12.759 --> 00:04:14.459 But at the same time, they're very different. 00:04:15.579 --> 00:04:16.860 Jonathan was a prince. 00:04:17.620 --> 00:04:20.259 And David was a humble shepherd. 00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:22.259 One was well-known. 00:04:22.420 --> 00:04:27.439 One, his father seemed to have forgotten about him just a few days earlier. 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:32.120 But from the beginning, these two men, some ways similar, some ways different, 00:04:32.199 --> 00:04:36.500 you see that they're bound together in love and admiration. 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:39.879 Verse 1, he loved him as himself. 00:04:39.939 --> 00:04:40.500 What is that? 00:04:40.500 --> 00:04:42.540 That's the second great command in action. 00:04:44.220 --> 00:04:48.220 And as the story goes, we see their affection and admiration develop. 00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:50.459 So in chapter 19, again, we read it. 00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:52.519 Saul begins to plot. 00:04:52.680 --> 00:04:54.399 Saul is very jealous of David's fame. 00:04:55.139 --> 00:04:57.699 He begins to plot to kill David. 00:04:58.199 --> 00:04:59.399 But what do we read there? 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:02.899 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. 00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:06.759 But Jonathan was very fond of David and warned him. 00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:13.339 So you imagine Jonathan as a man of faith, a man who lives under the Old Testament law. 00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:16.360 Here is an internal collision going on. 00:05:16.420 --> 00:05:19.339 He's told to honor his father. 00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:23.579 But his father wants him to kill his best friend. 00:05:24.420 --> 00:05:26.060 That's a difficult situation for him. 00:05:26.060 --> 00:05:33.680 And what we see in those seven verses is that he both seeks to protect his friend and not just protect him at distance. 00:05:34.259 --> 00:05:38.139 He also acts to restore him into Saul's good books. 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:41.579 He demonstrates that kind of costly, risky love. 00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:53.180 And then as the story developed, we read in chapter 20, again, of David being fully persuaded that King Saul wants to get rid of him. 00:05:53.180 --> 00:05:54.840 And Jonathan isn't sure about that. 00:05:55.240 --> 00:06:02.259 But if we read to the end of the chapter, we discover just how determined Saul is to kill David. 00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:06.759 But again, chapter 20, verse 17. 00:06:07.180 --> 00:06:18.699 In the middle of this growing threat, Jonathan made David reaffirm his oath out of love for him because he loved him as he loved himself. 00:06:18.699 --> 00:06:31.560 And then at the end of the chapter, verses 41 and 42, we find the story of a sad parting between two friends, that Saul's anger is such that they have to be separated. 00:06:31.719 --> 00:06:32.699 We find them weeping. 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:37.180 We find them speaking peace to one another. 00:06:37.180 --> 00:06:43.220 Against the odds, they had real affection for each other. 00:06:43.900 --> 00:06:51.300 And they clearly know how to express that affection and care towards one another. 00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:56.639 For us, this might be a challenge. 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:08.439 How comfortable are we in demonstrating, expressing admiration for the qualities that we see in a friend? 00:07:09.139 --> 00:07:18.419 How good are we at finding, taking opportunities to share affection for the people who mean the most to us? 00:07:19.620 --> 00:07:24.740 Some of us, culturally, we are at a disadvantage in it. 00:07:24.740 --> 00:07:33.500 If you're here today and you're Scottish and you're a man, this is a really difficult thing to do. 00:07:34.400 --> 00:07:40.560 To talk to a friend and to speak warmly and admire a quality in them. 00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:46.160 But here's one of these times when the Bible must be allowed to speak to our culture and say, 00:07:46.259 --> 00:07:51.560 do you know, there are things about our culture that's not always right and not always a biblical pattern. 00:07:51.560 --> 00:08:02.420 And so one of the challenges for us might be to find ways to tell someone about the good qualities that we admire in them. 00:08:03.220 --> 00:08:06.959 And when we do that, we're following the example of Jesus. 00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:12.340 Jesus was a man who loved his friends and showed that love. 00:08:13.300 --> 00:08:16.560 Think about that friendship he had with Mary and Martha and with Lazarus. 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:24.040 That's why when Lazarus, the brother, died, we discover Jesus weeping at his tomb. 00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:30.939 Because he sees the grief of the sisters in the community, even while he knows he's going to raise Lazarus from the dead. 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:37.159 Or if we go to the night before, Jesus will go to the cross. 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:40.639 Read John chapter 13 to 17. 00:08:41.439 --> 00:08:48.799 And you discover there, Jesus is primarily concerned with showing love and care for his disciples. 00:08:49.639 --> 00:08:51.620 By preparing them for what's to come. 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:54.240 By promising the help of the Holy Spirit. 00:08:54.579 --> 00:08:58.419 By speaking truth into their lives. 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:06.159 And in that section, in John chapter 15, we are reminded of this profound truth that Jesus speaks. 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:09.620 Greater love has no one than this. 00:09:10.620 --> 00:09:13.419 That he lay down his life for his friends. 00:09:14.620 --> 00:09:18.059 Jesus says that he loves his friends. 00:09:18.059 --> 00:09:21.479 But then he shows that he loves his friends. 00:09:21.959 --> 00:09:24.159 By dying on the cross. 00:09:24.819 --> 00:09:25.759 To deal with sin. 00:09:25.899 --> 00:09:26.739 To deal with guilt. 00:09:26.859 --> 00:09:27.799 To take away shame. 00:09:27.939 --> 00:09:31.839 To give forgiveness and new life and fellowship with God. 00:09:32.459 --> 00:09:39.799 It's the affection of Jesus that leads him gladly to give his life for his people. 00:09:40.859 --> 00:09:46.599 So affection is a really important quality in our relationships and in our friendships. 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:51.860 There's another quality that really stands out from Jonathan and David's friendships. 00:09:52.019 --> 00:09:52.899 That's loyalty. 00:09:53.980 --> 00:10:02.080 As Donald was reading for us, you maybe noticed the number of times that the word covenant or oath came up. 00:10:02.560 --> 00:10:08.860 This idea of binding two lives together in a mutual commitment to one another. 00:10:09.379 --> 00:10:12.180 The idea of their lives being welded together. 00:10:12.700 --> 00:10:13.940 That they are joined together. 00:10:14.060 --> 00:10:15.600 They are fully committed to each other. 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:16.920 It's like a wedding. 00:10:17.480 --> 00:10:18.659 And we have wedding vows. 00:10:19.019 --> 00:10:21.440 And we speak about a wedding as a covenant. 00:10:21.860 --> 00:10:27.560 When a husband and a wife are committed to each other no matter the circumstances. 00:10:27.700 --> 00:10:30.840 And that's what we see in Jonathan and David's friendship. 00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:35.060 So the story begins in chapter 18 in verse 3. 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:37.399 In a time of joy and success. 00:10:37.779 --> 00:10:41.759 And there, 18 verse 3, Jonathan made a covenant with David. 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:43.539 Because he loved him as himself. 00:10:43.539 --> 00:10:46.179 So after that stunning victory against Goliath. 00:10:46.259 --> 00:10:48.299 When things are good, there's covenant. 00:10:48.519 --> 00:10:49.139 There's loyalty. 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:49.899 There's commitment. 00:10:50.580 --> 00:10:54.600 Then in chapter 20, verse 16 and 17. 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:59.659 This time of deep anxiety and fear where David is hiding from Saul. 00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:03.720 Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David. 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:09.460 And Jonathan made David reaffirm his oath out of love for him. 00:11:10.180 --> 00:11:14.200 And it's the example that we see in chapter 19. 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:15.960 In those first seven verses. 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.980 What does loyalty look like in Jonathan's experience? 00:11:19.680 --> 00:11:26.620 It looks like him taking a great risk to first of all hide David away from King Saul, his father. 00:11:26.620 --> 00:11:30.980 And then he goes to speak to Saul. 00:11:31.419 --> 00:11:35.279 To remind Saul of all that David had done for him. 00:11:35.580 --> 00:11:37.340 So chapter 19 in verse 4. 00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:40.320 Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul and said, 00:11:40.460 --> 00:11:42.460 Let not the king do wrong to his servant David. 00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:44.560 He has not wronged you. 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:47.519 And what he has done has benefited you greatly. 00:11:47.620 --> 00:11:49.419 Do you think that was an easy thing to do? 00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:50.480 I suspect not. 00:11:51.039 --> 00:11:54.799 To challenge the king on his attitude towards David. 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.379 But he is committed to his friendship. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:12:03.379 Friendship is shown both in happiness and in trouble. 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:08.339 Friendship looks like loyalty and devotion. 00:12:08.539 --> 00:12:12.099 Whether we're thinking about a family grouping or whether we're thinking of other friendships. 00:12:12.740 --> 00:12:13.859 Loyalty matters. 00:12:16.740 --> 00:12:19.159 Drew Hunter in his book Made for Friendships. 00:12:19.259 --> 00:12:20.639 I think I've spoken about that once or twice. 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.179 An excellent practical book on Christian friendship. 00:12:24.179 --> 00:12:31.579 He talks about the difference between covenantal friendships on the one hand and consumer friendships on the other. 00:12:32.179 --> 00:12:36.039 And he says true friendship is always covenantal. 00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:40.319 In other words, we're not just in it for the benefits and the good times. 00:12:41.079 --> 00:12:45.679 We're not just a friend to someone when they're happy and they're full of life and they're celebrating. 00:12:45.879 --> 00:12:48.519 We're there no matter what. 00:12:48.519 --> 00:12:52.199 And so one of the questions he asks in the book is this. 00:12:52.299 --> 00:12:57.500 What kind of friend am I when there is nothing in the friendship for me? 00:12:58.019 --> 00:13:03.759 When I'm giving and giving and giving because somebody finds themselves in a time of distress. 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:08.919 It made me think of the story that Jesus told of the prodigal son. 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:11.399 Prodigal son who shamed his father. 00:13:11.899 --> 00:13:13.220 He had nothing more to do with his father. 00:13:13.319 --> 00:13:15.100 He wanted to take his father's money and run. 00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:21.500 And when he went away and he was spending his money recklessly, he had loads of friends because people loved the parties and the good food. 00:13:21.559 --> 00:13:24.039 But when the money ran out, the friends disappeared. 00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:26.719 That's a consumer friendship. 00:13:27.519 --> 00:13:35.279 But then as the story progresses and the son comes to his senses, he returns to his father and there he finds a covenantal friendship. 00:13:35.899 --> 00:13:41.959 There he finds a father who embraces him, who welcomes him back in, cleans him up and throws a feast for him. 00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:48.159 He shows us God's grace and reminds us of what loyalty looks like. 00:13:48.620 --> 00:13:51.399 And again, that's something that we see in Jesus. 00:13:51.399 --> 00:13:54.579 Jesus was loyal and devoted to his friend. 00:13:56.179 --> 00:13:57.819 We can think about that in the case of Peter. 00:13:58.299 --> 00:13:59.779 Peter made many mistakes. 00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:05.319 And when Jesus was arrested, Peter denied three times even knowing his law. 00:14:06.620 --> 00:14:08.159 But Jesus restored him. 00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:14.379 Jesus was loyal beyond Thomas' doubt that Jesus had risen from the dead. 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:18.879 But Jesus was loyal and came to him and restored him. 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:22.960 And that speaks to us of the kind of savior that we have. 00:14:23.820 --> 00:14:28.039 In the Bible, Jesus reminds us that he is the good shepherd. 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:30.480 He doesn't abandon his sheep. 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:31.759 He calls his sheep. 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:33.039 He pursues his sheep. 00:14:33.399 --> 00:14:36.259 He lays down his life for his sheep. 00:14:37.580 --> 00:14:45.879 And he also spoke, Jesus spoke of the new covenant that he was establishing through his body and his blood, 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:48.740 given for his people. 00:14:48.740 --> 00:14:59.620 That Jesus would die to demonstrate just how much he loved us, giving us a way into friendship with God. 00:15:00.600 --> 00:15:09.759 And that sacrifice, that love is an unbreakable commitment from God to his church for now and for eternity. 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:16.779 Sometimes we might find ourselves wishing that we had a friend who was with us and who was for us. 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:25.779 And we're reminded in the Bible that Jesus offers to be that person to us if we will put our trust in him. 00:15:27.779 --> 00:15:28.799 So there is affection. 00:15:29.080 --> 00:15:30.939 There is loyalty. 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.840 There's also humility. 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:37.600 Perhaps not always so easy to see, but there's humility. 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:39.200 Let's just imagine for a moment. 00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:43.480 Imagine you have grown up in a family where there is a family business. 00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:52.379 And from as young as you were or as old as you were able to understand, you knew that you were destined to the top. 00:15:52.899 --> 00:15:55.820 You left school and that was the course that you were heading on. 00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:57.899 Whole life is going in that direction. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:02.779 But then somebody else shows up and somebody else takes over the family business. 00:16:02.899 --> 00:16:05.680 How would we feel in that situation? 00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:10.239 It might be hard to celebrate and say, well done, sir. 00:16:10.779 --> 00:16:11.899 Take my place. 00:16:13.979 --> 00:16:20.000 When you look at the story of Jonathan and David, we see something really remarkable about Jonathan. 00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:21.659 Verse, chapter 18 again. 00:16:22.500 --> 00:16:23.659 And at verse 4. 00:16:23.659 --> 00:16:36.799 So again, after this battle, after they've got to know each other, after they've entered into covenant with each other. 00:16:37.459 --> 00:16:38.000 Verse 4. 00:16:38.219 --> 00:16:45.000 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his tunic and even his sword, his bow and his belt. 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:53.919 Jonathan takes off the symbols of royal power and privilege. 00:16:54.340 --> 00:16:55.799 And he passes them to David. 00:16:57.139 --> 00:16:59.759 Why in the world would he do that? 00:16:59.820 --> 00:17:00.419 He's the prince. 00:17:00.500 --> 00:17:01.700 He's going to be the next king. 00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:09.539 But as friends, no doubt David has shared with him a story that we didn't read. 00:17:09.620 --> 00:17:19.819 A story in 1 Samuel 16 where Samuel, the prophet, came to David and anointed him, declaring him to be the next king after Saul. 00:17:19.819 --> 00:17:29.379 Jonathan knows this and Jonathan humbly submits and acknowledges David as God's choice of king. 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:30.779 Now that's unusual, isn't it? 00:17:30.819 --> 00:17:34.799 Power says, try and get rid of your rivals. 00:17:35.619 --> 00:17:37.159 Try and block your rivals. 00:17:37.439 --> 00:17:38.980 Resist them at all costs. 00:17:40.639 --> 00:17:43.779 It doesn't say transfer your rights gladly. 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:49.179 It doesn't say celebrate promotion that comes at your expense. 00:17:49.180 --> 00:17:53.740 So what we find here is Jonathan is a wonderfully humble man. 00:17:54.039 --> 00:18:02.600 He's willing to receive God's way and he wants God's best for David. 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:10.779 And King Saul, in a sense, tempts Jonathan to change paths. 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:12.360 Chapter 20. 00:18:13.539 --> 00:18:15.620 Again, we didn't read this bit. 00:18:15.619 --> 00:18:18.219 But chapter 20 and at verse 30. 00:18:19.419 --> 00:18:20.819 Let's read that together. 00:18:20.819 --> 00:18:23.859 Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan. 00:18:23.859 --> 00:18:25.139 And he said to him, 00:18:25.139 --> 00:18:27.500 You son of a perverse and rebellious woman. 00:18:28.139 --> 00:18:34.639 Don't I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? 00:18:35.679 --> 00:18:40.460 As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:44.819 Now send and bring him to me for he must die. 00:18:44.819 --> 00:18:54.539 So there's Jonathan being confronted with this reality that he can have power and glory, but it must come at David's expense. 00:18:54.700 --> 00:18:55.439 There's temptation. 00:18:57.700 --> 00:18:58.639 Grab it. 00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:00.119 Grab power. 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:05.059 But Jonathan refuses to claim what Saul thinks is his rights. 00:19:05.939 --> 00:19:06.799 Verse 32. 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:08.539 Why should he be put to death? 00:19:08.859 --> 00:19:09.839 What has he done? 00:19:09.919 --> 00:19:10.940 Jonathan asked his father. 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:15.039 But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. 00:19:15.659 --> 00:19:18.680 Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. 00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:21.859 Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger. 00:19:22.379 --> 00:19:24.279 On that second day of the month, he did not eat. 00:19:24.399 --> 00:19:24.680 Why? 00:19:25.659 --> 00:19:31.019 Because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David. 00:19:31.019 --> 00:19:35.279 His dad's just thrown a spear at him. 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:42.420 And he's more concerned with how the king is treating his friend David. 00:19:43.019 --> 00:19:46.619 It's a remarkable example of a humble friend. 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:50.559 It's a challenge to us. 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:55.720 It's a call to us to say you before me and the friendships that we have. 00:19:55.720 --> 00:20:08.700 It's a challenge to us to seek to celebrate the successes of others, even if that comes at our own expense, whether that's in a work setting or a family setting. 00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:17.279 Here is a call to sacrifice our time, our energy, and our resources in various ways to be able to say to someone else, 00:20:18.860 --> 00:20:20.120 It's you before me. 00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:24.200 I'm putting your needs ahead of my own. 00:20:24.200 --> 00:20:26.799 It's hugely challenging, isn't it? 00:20:27.539 --> 00:20:31.380 The example of David is profoundly challenging, the story of Jonathan and David. 00:20:31.460 --> 00:20:32.799 How can we do that? 00:20:32.840 --> 00:20:38.660 How can we be that kind of humble friend that seeks the good of others before ourselves? 00:20:40.059 --> 00:20:43.420 I think we need to see it in Jesus. 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:47.140 I think we need to draw strength from Jesus. 00:20:47.140 --> 00:20:53.900 Jesus, by very nature of becoming human, it is not clinging to his right. 00:20:54.480 --> 00:21:03.000 When he could have stayed in the glory of heaven, Jesus, in humility, Philippians 2, came down to be one of us. 00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:11.480 And all through his ministry, we find Jesus wanting to be alone with his disciples or wanting to be alone in times of rest. 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:14.160 And he sees the needs of others and he serves them. 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:14.819 He teaches them. 00:21:14.900 --> 00:21:15.440 He feeds them. 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:16.440 He heals them. 00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:19.940 It was the pattern of Jesus' life. 00:21:20.539 --> 00:21:24.880 He told us that explicitly in Mark chapter 10 and verse 45. 00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:46.860 The good news at the heart of the Bible is that of a humble king who left the glory of heaven to become the suffering servant for us. 00:21:46.860 --> 00:21:53.460 To live for us and then to die in our place, taking the penalty for our sins. 00:21:53.460 --> 00:22:03.380 And as we are united to him, as he comes to us, then we have strength from him. 00:22:03.779 --> 00:22:07.420 He is the source of humility that we need for true friendship. 00:22:07.620 --> 00:22:16.180 We look to him and we look to his example and we seek to use grace to be that kind of humble friend. 00:22:16.180 --> 00:22:24.320 Another quality that we see of Jonathan that's so important in a friendship is that of empathy. 00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:28.660 So remember where we are in the story of David. 00:22:29.299 --> 00:22:31.120 David is distressed. 00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:35.580 The most powerful man in the kingdom is after him, is out for his blood. 00:22:36.100 --> 00:22:36.920 He is afraid. 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:37.660 He's alone. 00:22:38.080 --> 00:22:38.860 He's in caves. 00:22:38.940 --> 00:22:39.740 He's in the wilderness. 00:22:39.740 --> 00:22:45.700 And how does Jonathan respond in that kind of a context? 00:22:46.819 --> 00:22:51.839 Well, let's read chapter 20 and verse 41. 00:22:52.579 --> 00:22:56.799 So this is when David's going to have to go it alone and go on the run. 00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:02.779 David got up from the south side and bowed down before Jonathan three times with his face to the ground. 00:23:03.299 --> 00:23:05.779 They kissed each other and wept together. 00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:07.920 But David wept the most. 00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:15.660 Jonathan said to David, go in peace for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord. 00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:21.940 Saying the Lord has witnessed between you and me, between your descendants and my descendants forever. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:23.580 So there is sympathy there. 00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:24.560 There is love there. 00:23:24.660 --> 00:23:28.680 There is a reminder of promises that have been made. 00:23:28.680 --> 00:23:37.299 And so David departs and he begins to run around the countryside and Saul and his men are hunting him down. 00:23:37.840 --> 00:23:40.340 Turn with me to chapter 23. 00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:43.160 Last verses we'll look at. 00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:47.740 Chapter 23 and at verse 15. 00:23:47.740 --> 00:23:52.420 1 Samuel 23 verse 15. 00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:58.559 While David was at Horesh in the desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 00:23:59.299 --> 00:24:06.819 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him to find strength in God. 00:24:06.819 --> 00:24:08.919 What does he do in that situation? 00:24:08.919 --> 00:24:12.339 When his dad is trying to kill David, he goes to be present. 00:24:12.439 --> 00:24:16.659 He takes that great risk of going to be present with his friend. 00:24:17.299 --> 00:24:21.759 And he speaks words to encourage and strengthen him. 00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:28.559 Jonathan is a man who demonstrates emotional intelligence. 00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:37.839 He is able to use emotional information to guide his words and his behavior towards his friend. 00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:43.779 How do we do when it comes to emotional intelligence? 00:24:43.919 --> 00:24:47.200 Can we put ourselves in the shoes of someone else? 00:24:47.859 --> 00:24:52.240 Are we able to begin to understand what they might be going through? 00:24:53.299 --> 00:24:54.779 It's a thing that takes practice. 00:24:55.379 --> 00:24:57.539 It involves building trust. 00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:05.559 It's such a gift in a friendship when you find somebody who truly empathizes with you. 00:25:06.460 --> 00:25:07.879 How do we begin to do that? 00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:12.099 Well, I think it starts with learning to listen and to listen well. 00:25:12.839 --> 00:25:19.539 I'm not always trying to jump in with quick remedies or here's how you can fix this in three easy steps. 00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:26.419 Learn to listen well to where a person's at, to their struggles, to their burdens, to their heart's desires. 00:25:26.420 --> 00:25:31.420 It involves learning to weep with those who weep, to rejoice with those who rejoice. 00:25:32.680 --> 00:25:45.600 It's about committing ourselves to bearing the burdens of someone else and to be putting ourselves in their shoes and wanting to love them well. 00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:52.219 And I think empathy as Christians will always lead us to take our friends to Jesus. 00:25:52.339 --> 00:25:59.959 Jesus, we find a remarkable picture of Jesus in the book of Hebrews as our high priest in chapters 2 and 4 and onwards. 00:26:00.399 --> 00:26:04.859 And we're told that Jesus is our sympathetic high priest. 00:26:04.859 --> 00:26:14.939 Jesus became one of us so that he might know what it is to suffer and to experience weakness and hardship. 00:26:15.379 --> 00:26:20.679 So that when we go through something that we know that we're not the only person in the world that has this experience. 00:26:20.919 --> 00:26:22.859 And Jesus understands. 00:26:23.339 --> 00:26:25.539 So we can be honest with him. 00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:30.799 But also because he's Jesus, he can help us. 00:26:31.259 --> 00:26:32.119 He can deliver us. 00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:35.779 And he promises to walk with us and hold us fast. 00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:43.039 Again, God knows our situation. 00:26:43.980 --> 00:26:45.220 It's the heart of the gospel. 00:26:46.379 --> 00:26:52.180 That God sees our distress, our sin, our rebellion, our walking away from him. 00:26:52.180 --> 00:26:55.900 And it causes him in love to send Jesus. 00:26:56.519 --> 00:26:59.920 Jesus comes to rescue us and to bring us back. 00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:08.420 And now the Bible tells us he is the one who stays with us and who prays for us. 00:27:09.019 --> 00:27:13.019 He expresses that empathy that we need. 00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:19.220 The last thing I want to say about Jonathan as a friend is that he is a godly friend. 00:27:19.220 --> 00:27:22.420 So we're kind of thinking about Christian friendship here. 00:27:23.420 --> 00:27:27.039 Again, another book that I found really helpful is Catherine Park's book, Real. 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:35.220 And she makes the point that Christian friendship is a good thing, but it's not the ultimate goal of our lives. 00:27:35.819 --> 00:27:39.640 The ultimate goal of a Christian life is to follow Jesus. 00:27:40.140 --> 00:27:44.380 But as Christian friends, we are to help each other towards that goal. 00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:47.460 We are to help one another to pursue Jesus. 00:27:47.460 --> 00:27:49.799 So how do we see Jonathan as a model of this? 00:27:50.340 --> 00:27:55.559 Stay with me in chapter 23 and at verse 16 and 17. 00:27:56.460 --> 00:27:57.940 Saul's son Jonathan went to David. 00:27:58.420 --> 00:27:59.200 And what did he do? 00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:02.380 He helped him to find strength in God. 00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:03.960 Don't be afraid, he said. 00:28:04.039 --> 00:28:06.160 My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. 00:28:06.519 --> 00:28:09.240 You shall be king over Israel. 00:28:09.340 --> 00:28:11.700 What strength, what help did Jonathan bring? 00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:13.079 It wasn't military force. 00:28:13.079 --> 00:28:17.939 It wasn't simply sitting beside him, which is a good thing to do. 00:28:18.279 --> 00:28:19.460 He does something more. 00:28:19.879 --> 00:28:23.059 He helped him to find strength in God. 00:28:23.859 --> 00:28:31.980 He put David's hand into God's hand and encouraged him to look up to the source of true strength. 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:36.379 And not just that, he also brought encouragement from the word of God. 00:28:36.380 --> 00:28:38.860 Because what is it that Jonathan says to David? 00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:40.580 You're going to be the next king. 00:28:41.080 --> 00:28:42.140 Who had told him that? 00:28:42.780 --> 00:28:46.420 Well, it was the word of God delivered by Samuel in 1 Samuel 16. 00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:48.920 So he's saying to him, take heart. 00:28:49.380 --> 00:28:51.680 Remember the promise of God. 00:28:52.080 --> 00:28:54.440 God will be with you. 00:28:55.200 --> 00:29:03.120 And so Jonathan leaves, having directed David to find faith in God and to trust in the word of God. 00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:11.079 That says something to us as Christians who live in Christian communities, whether it's here or whether it's somewhere else. 00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:17.719 It reminds us that persevering in faith is a community project. 00:29:18.479 --> 00:29:25.219 There are going to be times where we are weak and we need someone to point us back to God and speak the word of life to us. 00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:28.079 And there are other times where we're going to need to do that for somebody else. 00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:36.119 God gives us each other, gives us fellowship as a means of grace to keep us going. 00:29:37.939 --> 00:29:44.619 And so as we read an example like Jonathan, let's determine with God's help to be this kind of friend. 00:29:45.899 --> 00:29:51.199 You know, in our conversation to encourage someone to look to God and trust in God's word. 00:29:51.200 --> 00:30:02.539 When we write, whether it's a letter, whether it's an email, whether it's a text, can we think of how to bring God's word, God's truth to bed in someone's life to encourage them in their faith? 00:30:02.600 --> 00:30:16.759 When we spend time together in one another's homes or on a Sunday after the service, can we find a way to speak God's word to one another in a way that will help us to find strength in God? 00:30:16.759 --> 00:30:19.740 It's remarkable that the Bible is very honest. 00:30:19.859 --> 00:30:23.480 David, King David, the man after God's own heart, he needed this kind of friend. 00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:27.599 Therefore, it seems obvious that so do we. 00:30:27.779 --> 00:30:33.200 So it's something for us to pray for, that we would find these kind of friendships. 00:30:34.099 --> 00:30:40.240 And then it's something for us to pursue, to seek to build friendships with those who can help us to walk with God. 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:43.940 It's what Jesus did for his disciples. 00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:51.259 He often found them fearful and confused, especially when he began to talk to them about the cross. 00:30:52.259 --> 00:30:58.720 And so he would say to them time and again, my death, my resurrection, it's part of God's plan. 00:30:59.340 --> 00:31:01.259 It's part of God's plan. 00:31:01.740 --> 00:31:10.940 He strengthens their faith in God and in his word, strengthens their faith in him as their source of life and salvation. 00:31:10.940 --> 00:31:23.799 So we find in Jonathan a model friend, one who loved well, one who was loyal, one who was humble, one who learned to empathize, and one who was godly. 00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:35.000 Let me just encourage all of us to ask God to find that kind of friend for ourselves and to desire to be that kind of friend for somebody else. 00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:42.759 And most of all, that we would be pursuing that kind of friendship with Jesus, who is the perfect friend.