WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.379 I want to turn to Galatians chapter 5. 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:06.080 Galatians chapter 5, I believe family matters 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:09.000 and that's why we are taking time this summer 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:11.040 to talk about some family matters. 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:15.280 You know, gardening is not easy work. 00:00:16.199 --> 00:00:19.780 You have to clear uncultivated or foul ground 00:00:19.780 --> 00:00:21.580 and that's not fun. 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:24.760 It is essential that you do that, but it's not fun. 00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:27.780 You have to dig holes to put the seeds in. 00:00:27.780 --> 00:00:30.220 There's a lot of getting down in the dirt 00:00:30.220 --> 00:00:32.899 and dealing with it and you may not like that, 00:00:32.980 --> 00:00:35.620 but you have to do that to enjoy the fruit, 00:00:36.299 --> 00:00:39.600 to enjoy the vegetable that you are wanting 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:41.460 from the harvest. 00:00:41.859 --> 00:00:45.280 I heard about somebody who was planting a herbal garden 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:49.180 and a neighbor came up and asked her what she was doing 00:00:49.180 --> 00:00:53.799 and she said, I'm putting my plants in alphabetical order. 00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:57.420 And the neighbor said, really? 00:00:57.780 --> 00:01:02.420 How in the world do you find the time? 00:01:03.160 --> 00:01:04.260 She said, oh, that's easy. 00:01:04.340 --> 00:01:05.599 It's right next to the sage. 00:01:09.939 --> 00:01:11.060 You'll get that later. 00:01:12.299 --> 00:01:16.299 Not a whole lot of herbal gardeners in here, right? 00:01:16.299 --> 00:01:19.359 There's watering. 00:01:20.219 --> 00:01:21.200 There's weeding. 00:01:22.420 --> 00:01:26.859 All along the way, there's wilted blooms and dead leaves 00:01:26.859 --> 00:01:28.239 that have to go as well. 00:01:29.539 --> 00:01:33.120 But you kind of know you have to do that when you get into it. 00:01:33.799 --> 00:01:35.879 You're not going to have a bountiful harvest 00:01:35.879 --> 00:01:37.659 unless you put the work into it. 00:01:37.659 --> 00:01:41.039 That's a lot like marriage. 00:01:43.039 --> 00:01:45.759 It takes daily work. 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:51.079 And if you are married, that is the most comprehensive 00:01:51.079 --> 00:01:55.920 and it should be the most long-term relationship of your life. 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:58.480 And it takes commitment. 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:02.879 And if you back off, the weeds will grow. 00:02:04.900 --> 00:02:06.680 It won't bloom like it needs to. 00:02:07.780 --> 00:02:09.360 You won't have the fruit from it. 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:13.819 It takes commitment in order to be fruitful. 00:02:13.819 --> 00:02:19.459 The Apostle Paul shows us in Galatians chapter 5 00:02:19.459 --> 00:02:24.239 how to get along in a Christian, Christ-like way in life, period. 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:31.740 Never is this more relevant than in marriage, however. 00:02:32.939 --> 00:02:36.459 Galatians chapter 5, beginning in verse 16, 00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:39.099 the Apostle Paul said, 00:02:39.099 --> 00:02:40.939 But I say, walk by the Spirit, 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.780 and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:47.919 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, 00:02:48.079 --> 00:02:50.400 and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, 00:02:50.579 --> 00:02:53.019 for these are opposed to each other 00:02:53.019 --> 00:02:55.680 and to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 00:02:55.739 --> 00:02:57.039 But if you're led by the Spirit, 00:02:58.099 --> 00:02:59.219 you're not under the law. 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:03.319 Now the works of the flesh are evident. 00:03:04.219 --> 00:03:07.180 Sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:10.539 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, 00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:13.519 fits of rage, rivalries, drunkenness, 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:17.620 divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these, 00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:20.660 I warn you, as I've warned you before, 00:03:21.160 --> 00:03:23.040 that those who do such things 00:03:23.040 --> 00:03:26.300 will not inherit the kingdom of God. 00:03:27.040 --> 00:03:29.260 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:33.760 joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, 00:03:34.020 --> 00:03:37.500 faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such things. 00:03:37.719 --> 00:03:38.740 There is no law. 00:03:38.740 --> 00:03:40.840 And those who belong to Christ Jesus 00:03:40.840 --> 00:03:44.780 have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:51.320 If we live by the Spirit, 00:03:51.700 --> 00:03:56.660 let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 00:03:57.700 --> 00:03:59.939 Let us not become conceited, 00:04:01.219 --> 00:04:05.800 provoking one another, envying one another. 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:09.300 Well, I want to give you two points today. 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:11.860 I know that's good news for good old Baptist congregation, 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:16.520 but just try to keep it as simple as I possibly can, 00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:20.939 because the first part to maintain a good growing garden 00:04:20.939 --> 00:04:22.980 is to pull weeds. 00:04:26.259 --> 00:04:27.819 And if you're going to grow a good marriage, 00:04:27.900 --> 00:04:28.900 you've got to pull some weeds. 00:04:28.899 --> 00:04:34.000 Let me name some weeds that I think you ought to look for. 00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:37.519 When you see it, you need to take care of it. 00:04:38.859 --> 00:04:42.139 Pluck out the selfishness in the relationship. 00:04:43.899 --> 00:04:48.539 Paul mentions in this passage all kinds of sexual sin here, 00:04:49.099 --> 00:04:54.019 from involving others to those sins of the mind. 00:04:54.019 --> 00:04:59.099 And there's not room for any of it in the Christian life. 00:05:00.719 --> 00:05:03.000 There's not room for any of it in the Christian home. 00:05:03.659 --> 00:05:04.799 All of it is selfish. 00:05:06.579 --> 00:05:09.180 And if you watch the garbage of the world, 00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:13.639 there is a strategy. 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:18.339 Listen, folks, and I'm going to talk about this in August 00:05:18.339 --> 00:05:20.279 and may talk about it for the rest of the year. 00:05:20.279 --> 00:05:23.119 We're in a war. 00:05:24.859 --> 00:05:27.879 We're in a war, and it's more than a sniper on a metal building. 00:05:28.619 --> 00:05:31.199 That's some evidence of the war that we're in. 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:34.679 But we're in a real war, 00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:37.399 and it is not against other people. 00:05:38.679 --> 00:05:40.599 It is not flesh and blood. 00:05:42.019 --> 00:05:43.239 It is spiritual. 00:05:43.240 --> 00:05:50.420 And it personifies itself in so many different ways. 00:05:51.199 --> 00:05:58.639 I believe we saw evil on a national scale last night. 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:10.219 I believe that attempted assassin that's now dead 00:06:10.219 --> 00:06:14.339 was just a tool of the evil one 00:06:14.339 --> 00:06:19.379 working on a much bigger plan. 00:06:19.379 --> 00:06:29.079 And the reality is that same evil one wants to attack your home. 00:06:30.899 --> 00:06:32.939 He wants to attack your family. 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:36.899 And he looks for avenues to do that. 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:40.319 I'll tell you a good avenue to do it. 00:06:41.980 --> 00:06:42.939 Cut on the TV. 00:06:42.939 --> 00:06:43.060 Cut on the TV. 00:06:46.339 --> 00:06:51.339 Have you noticed that anything that has a plot is filthy? 00:06:53.540 --> 00:06:59.159 That the F word is used as frequently as any word in any show 00:06:59.159 --> 00:07:01.720 that has any merit to it, it seems. 00:07:02.339 --> 00:07:04.199 And that strips it of its merit. 00:07:04.199 --> 00:07:13.420 They feel any program that they can with all kinds of sexual. 00:07:13.479 --> 00:07:15.199 It just went from beyond innuendo 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:24.019 to blatant garbage, enticing, tantalizing. 00:07:24.439 --> 00:07:26.500 It lowers our guard. 00:07:27.899 --> 00:07:30.919 We don't pay as much attention anymore to those things. 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:34.960 And your mind just gets full of it. 00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:41.199 Social media, TV programs, everywhere you look, 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:45.180 it's tantalizing and it is part of the devil's schemes. 00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:51.439 We are in a sex-driven society that promotes all kinds of perversion 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:56.460 and not only says it's okay, but celebrates it. 00:07:58.460 --> 00:07:59.439 Promotes it. 00:08:00.920 --> 00:08:05.439 It tells you if you have a problem with it, you're full of hate. 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:08.100 That you're a bigot. 00:08:10.540 --> 00:08:15.200 That is a twisted, perverted world. 00:08:15.379 --> 00:08:16.420 And it's not new. 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:17.620 It's not new. 00:08:18.580 --> 00:08:21.540 Seems much more pronounced in our country today 00:08:21.540 --> 00:08:23.960 than I've ever seen it in my lifetime. 00:08:24.220 --> 00:08:25.860 And I feel sure that my lifetime, 00:08:27.180 --> 00:08:28.740 in the time that I've been on this earth, 00:08:28.740 --> 00:08:31.319 Corinth has been worse than any time in the history of America. 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:33.399 But I'm telling you, it's not new to the world. 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:38.299 In the first century, Corinth was that way. 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:43.159 There was a huge cult in the midst of that city 00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:49.840 that was celebrated and worshipped through sexual immorality. 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:52.560 It was at the forefront of what they did. 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:55.980 It was marked by sex-driven cults. 00:08:56.100 --> 00:09:01.000 And it just marginalized and compromised the city 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:02.940 and how they looked at it. 00:09:04.220 --> 00:09:06.220 And the Apostle Paul warned them, 00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:09.920 be careful because if we're not careful, folks, 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:14.899 we'll be more prone to condition ourselves to the world 00:09:14.899 --> 00:09:18.199 and let ourselves be influenced by the world, 00:09:18.319 --> 00:09:20.500 then we will influence the world. 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.399 And that's not what the salt is to do 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:26.059 that Christ called us to do. 00:09:26.779 --> 00:09:29.779 That is not what the light of the world is to do. 00:09:30.559 --> 00:09:32.679 I light a lamp because it lights the room. 00:09:33.259 --> 00:09:35.980 It invades the darkness and overtakes it. 00:09:35.980 --> 00:09:40.500 But if we're not careful, we'll just cut the lamps off in our life 00:09:40.500 --> 00:09:43.019 and live in the midst of the darkness. 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:46.700 And we've got to be preventative about that. 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:50.480 We've got to be diligent about that. 00:09:51.800 --> 00:09:54.759 Paul warns us in 1 Corinthians 7 of a marital problem 00:09:54.759 --> 00:09:58.100 that can cause a lot of greater problems in such an atmosphere. 00:09:58.820 --> 00:10:02.980 And Paul gives a good word of warning in 1 Corinthians 7. 00:10:03.659 --> 00:10:04.639 Beginning in verse 3, he says, 00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:08.199 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights 00:10:08.199 --> 00:10:10.279 and likewise the wife to her husband. 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:13.399 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:14.340 but the husband does. 00:10:14.419 --> 00:10:16.799 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, 00:10:17.100 --> 00:10:18.699 but the wife does. 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:20.919 Do not deprive one another, 00:10:21.159 --> 00:10:23.799 except perhaps by agreement for a limited time 00:10:23.799 --> 00:10:25.960 that you might devote yourselves to prayer, 00:10:26.059 --> 00:10:27.519 but then come together again. 00:10:27.879 --> 00:10:29.059 Listen to me, folks. 00:10:29.539 --> 00:10:31.039 I don't want to get into your business, 00:10:31.460 --> 00:10:33.080 but I want you to hear what he has to say. 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:36.340 So that Satan will not tempt you 00:10:36.340 --> 00:10:39.259 because of your lack of self-control. 00:10:39.259 --> 00:10:45.720 It's selfish to go outside your marriage. 00:10:46.100 --> 00:10:49.960 It is selfish to neglect inside the marriage. 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:52.179 And that's just one form of selfishness. 00:10:54.259 --> 00:10:56.439 One sin is not, and I want to be clear about this, 00:10:56.819 --> 00:11:00.519 one sin is not caused by somebody else's sin. 00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:04.460 And your sin is never justified, 00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:07.199 no matter what your circumstances are at the house. 00:11:08.679 --> 00:11:12.799 But we are to help one another in our walk with the Lord. 00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:15.439 We have a responsibility as a congregation 00:11:15.439 --> 00:11:17.500 to help one another in our walk with the Lord, 00:11:17.620 --> 00:11:19.419 to encourage one another in our walk with the Lord. 00:11:19.539 --> 00:11:21.079 And you have that same responsibility, 00:11:21.419 --> 00:11:23.480 greater responsibility for your own family, 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:24.699 especially the one you're married to. 00:11:24.700 --> 00:11:28.220 We encourage one another and help one another 00:11:28.220 --> 00:11:29.860 in our walk with the Lord. 00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:33.220 But selfishness comes in a lot of different forms. 00:11:33.460 --> 00:11:36.360 And the only reason I hit that is because it affects marriage 00:11:36.360 --> 00:11:41.540 and because Galatians 5 is filled with all kinds of sexual sin 00:11:41.540 --> 00:11:44.180 that the Apostle Paul addresses. 00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:46.680 But selfishness comes in a lot of forms. 00:11:46.679 --> 00:11:50.620 But it always comes from us being more concerned 00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:51.939 about what we want 00:11:51.939 --> 00:11:56.059 and not concerned about what others want. 00:11:57.199 --> 00:11:58.979 Let me give you another form of selfishness. 00:11:59.259 --> 00:11:59.639 Pouting. 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:05.159 Pouting is a form of selfishness, you know. 00:12:06.899 --> 00:12:08.699 Let me give you another form of selfishness. 00:12:08.959 --> 00:12:09.519 Bossiness. 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:11.919 Bossiness. 00:12:11.979 --> 00:12:13.459 Taking charge of everybody. 00:12:13.460 --> 00:12:17.620 And do it in a way that's not delicate. 00:12:19.820 --> 00:12:22.860 A lot of resentment comes from selfishness. 00:12:26.540 --> 00:12:27.639 Get rid of it. 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:30.600 Pluck it out. 00:12:33.180 --> 00:12:35.040 Just a weed in the garden of marriage. 00:12:35.900 --> 00:12:37.580 Let me tell you another weed in the garden of marriage. 00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:40.080 Busyness. 00:12:42.019 --> 00:12:42.379 Kill. 00:12:43.460 --> 00:12:44.420 The busyness. 00:12:46.160 --> 00:12:47.160 I want you to hear me. 00:12:47.240 --> 00:12:48.780 We live busy lives today. 00:12:48.980 --> 00:12:50.800 There are a lot of events and opportunities 00:12:50.800 --> 00:12:51.879 that we can be a part of. 00:12:52.100 --> 00:12:54.759 And if we're not careful, we will be a slave to it. 00:12:56.460 --> 00:13:00.100 We idolize the things we love to do. 00:13:04.820 --> 00:13:05.379 And... 00:13:05.379 --> 00:13:07.420 You don't need to be a part of everything. 00:13:08.460 --> 00:13:09.519 Not everything. 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:15.199 And too much of that can strain at the fabric of a marriage. 00:13:15.439 --> 00:13:18.600 It kind of makes for a marriage on the fly, if you will. 00:13:19.799 --> 00:13:24.000 Marriage does not work well when it's always in between items. 00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:27.879 When a marriage fights for recognition. 00:13:29.799 --> 00:13:32.980 Because a marriage, like a garden, requires cultivation. 00:13:32.980 --> 00:13:38.159 And business can cause a lot of things, but one of them can be caused by a lot of things. 00:13:38.360 --> 00:13:39.580 One of them is materialism. 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:42.159 I mean, we like our stuff. 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.659 And you see what somebody else got? 00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:48.100 Man, we need one of them. 00:13:48.100 --> 00:13:50.259 We like our stuff. 00:13:50.340 --> 00:13:51.720 And I'll tell you what happens to our stuff. 00:13:52.759 --> 00:13:59.899 In order to have stuff, we either spend too much of our time working extra to get what we want, 00:13:59.940 --> 00:14:02.920 or we spend way too much catering to it. 00:14:03.340 --> 00:14:05.220 And I don't only mean money, I mean time. 00:14:06.980 --> 00:14:14.240 If you're not careful, you'll be enslaved to the responsibility of maintaining and upkeeping 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:17.899 and entertaining the stuff that you've got to have. 00:14:20.940 --> 00:14:23.320 Possessions can drag you around like a ring in a nose. 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:26.639 And that is not what we intended. 00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:28.399 It's not what we wanted when we did it. 00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:30.419 But you see it again and again. 00:14:31.419 --> 00:14:34.899 We always spend too much on things that depreciate too. 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:37.399 I mean, they do. 00:14:38.019 --> 00:14:41.840 Go buy a new car and find out a week later how much it's worth. 00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:44.180 It'll hurt your feelings, I promise you. 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:51.000 And if they're going to depreciate, we've got to use them while we can. 00:14:51.980 --> 00:14:53.539 We better take advantage of that. 00:14:54.259 --> 00:14:57.860 I mean, if we've got that item, we've got to put that thing to use, so let's get after it. 00:14:58.740 --> 00:14:59.560 But we don't have time. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:00.320 We've got to have time. 00:15:00.379 --> 00:15:00.779 We've got it. 00:15:00.840 --> 00:15:01.899 We've got to go use it. 00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:08.100 And if you're not careful, all of that, that busyness, 00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:14.500 impedes our relationship with God, interrupts our relationships with each other. 00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:17.000 It becomes a strain of all. 00:15:17.159 --> 00:15:19.159 So kill the busyness. 00:15:19.159 --> 00:15:22.039 You know what? 00:15:23.839 --> 00:15:27.019 It don't hurt to be still from time to time. 00:15:27.019 --> 00:15:32.779 Now, for others, I may need to say every now and then, you've got to get up, you know. 00:15:32.899 --> 00:15:40.279 But I'm just telling you, it don't hurt sometimes to just sit down. 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:44.419 Spend time together. 00:15:44.419 --> 00:15:54.219 Busyness can be a weed that can interrupt growth in the garden of your marriage. 00:15:54.379 --> 00:15:58.039 Another weed that often needs to be pulled is inattentiveness. 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:00.019 So quit being inattentive. 00:16:01.659 --> 00:16:03.719 Start paying attention to the people in your home. 00:16:05.099 --> 00:16:10.500 During COVID, many medical procedures were canceled. 00:16:10.500 --> 00:16:14.860 People had heart surgery that were scheduled. 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:17.919 And they needed to have heart surgery in order to live. 00:16:18.019 --> 00:16:20.179 But we can't have heart surgery because of COVID. 00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:22.200 So we put that off. 00:16:25.480 --> 00:16:27.860 All kinds of circumstances led. 00:16:28.259 --> 00:16:31.820 If you got a cold, well, you may have COVID. 00:16:32.019 --> 00:16:34.879 So you better not go to the doctor because you may get it. 00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:38.440 If you don't have it, then you may get it. 00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:40.840 And if you do go, then they'll tell you you got it. 00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:42.260 And you can't see anybody for a month. 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:43.940 And after that, you're banned. 00:16:44.040 --> 00:16:46.860 They put a big C on you and all that stuff, you know. 00:16:49.140 --> 00:16:50.920 And people came out of COVID. 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:53.160 Some never did. 00:16:53.260 --> 00:16:53.820 They're still in it. 00:16:53.820 --> 00:16:57.540 But people came out of COVID with more problems 00:16:57.540 --> 00:17:02.300 because they did not maintain their health during COVID. 00:17:02.299 --> 00:17:09.200 And a similar problem happens often in a marriage. 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:13.659 The emphasis can often be on the other things. 00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:14.619 It can be work. 00:17:15.779 --> 00:17:17.079 It can be kids. 00:17:19.399 --> 00:17:22.720 And listen, those are legitimate matters that require much. 00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:24.500 You have to do those things. 00:17:24.579 --> 00:17:25.819 You got kids, you got to maintain them. 00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:27.619 You got a job, you better show up. 00:17:27.619 --> 00:17:31.859 Completely legitimate. 00:17:33.659 --> 00:17:35.339 They might be independent hobbies. 00:17:36.959 --> 00:17:38.979 They might be travel that separates. 00:17:39.139 --> 00:17:41.399 All of those things seem good. 00:17:41.739 --> 00:17:45.659 And many things that have to be or need to be done. 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:51.359 However, all of which, all of which can cause a lack of attention 00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:53.639 to the marriage. 00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:59.800 When a couple is dating, it's all about each other. 00:18:00.860 --> 00:18:03.380 One mate's giving full attention to the other. 00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:12.700 I remember my daddy played ball and played softball 00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:14.180 when he was dating mama. 00:18:14.340 --> 00:18:16.480 And mama always went to all the softball games. 00:18:17.380 --> 00:18:18.259 And they got married. 00:18:18.340 --> 00:18:19.840 She never went to another softball game. 00:18:20.540 --> 00:18:21.540 He said, what in the world happened? 00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:21.600 What happened? 00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:30.580 When that mate stops giving all that attention to the other, 00:18:30.800 --> 00:18:31.600 when that stops, 00:18:32.740 --> 00:18:36.000 and life demands that it changes, 00:18:36.980 --> 00:18:39.980 it can be devastating to the relationship. 00:18:43.060 --> 00:18:45.220 And that has to be something that's not ignored. 00:18:45.380 --> 00:18:47.300 I mean, some weeds that gain our attention 00:18:47.300 --> 00:18:51.100 and move us away from our spouses need to be pulled. 00:18:51.099 --> 00:18:53.659 And we need to be sensitive about that and watch for that. 00:18:55.199 --> 00:18:57.519 Another weed, and there are several. 00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:02.240 This is my last weed that you need to pull, 00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:03.740 is throw out the laziness. 00:19:04.719 --> 00:19:05.659 The laziness. 00:19:06.659 --> 00:19:09.559 If you're not careful, laziness will allow the weeds 00:19:09.559 --> 00:19:10.959 to grow in your relationship. 00:19:11.379 --> 00:19:15.139 Let me give you one example of how laziness can affect your marriage. 00:19:15.140 --> 00:19:17.460 One example is dealing with anger. 00:19:20.040 --> 00:19:22.060 Ephesians 4 verse 26 says, 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:24.320 Be angry and do not sin. 00:19:24.759 --> 00:19:27.259 Do not let the sun go down on your anger. 00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:28.200 Now leave that up for a minute, 00:19:28.259 --> 00:19:29.240 because I want you to think about this, okay? 00:19:29.560 --> 00:19:30.580 Notice what it says. 00:19:30.840 --> 00:19:33.660 Be angry, but do not sin. 00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:36.840 So God never discounts the fact 00:19:36.840 --> 00:19:38.900 that there's sometimes you get angry. 00:19:39.480 --> 00:19:40.300 It's going to happen. 00:19:40.380 --> 00:19:41.960 There's a such thing as righteous anger. 00:19:42.300 --> 00:19:44.580 We'll try to justify our anger a lot of times righteously 00:19:44.580 --> 00:19:46.779 that it's not, but there is such a thing, 00:19:46.980 --> 00:19:48.420 and you're going to get angry. 00:19:48.820 --> 00:19:50.400 It's not what happens to you. 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:51.980 It's what happens to what happens to you. 00:19:52.060 --> 00:19:52.980 Okay, so you got angry. 00:19:53.060 --> 00:19:54.240 So what are you going to do about it? 00:19:56.900 --> 00:19:58.400 If you're angry, don't sin. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:05.100 And don't go to bed mad. 00:20:10.780 --> 00:20:11.860 And you know that. 00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:14.160 If you don't know that, don't go to bed mad. 00:20:16.060 --> 00:20:20.000 But many do, because it's easier. 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:22.460 It's just easier, you know? 00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:25.480 I don't want to deal with that again tonight. 00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:31.320 And so instead of fixing the problem, 00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:32.100 I'll just go to bed. 00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:35.920 Some people don't brush their teeth 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:36.500 before they go to bed. 00:20:36.540 --> 00:20:37.320 It's too much work. 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:38.960 Let me tell you something, folks. 00:20:38.980 --> 00:20:41.080 You need to brush your teeth before you go to bed, okay? 00:20:41.420 --> 00:20:43.200 And you need to do it before you come to church. 00:20:47.280 --> 00:20:50.500 But the problem is like a bad wound that's not treated. 00:20:52.040 --> 00:20:53.420 That thing will fester overnight, 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:55.500 and so will the problems in your marriage 00:20:55.500 --> 00:20:56.440 if you don't deal with them. 00:20:56.440 --> 00:20:58.460 And the reality is sometimes laziness 00:20:58.460 --> 00:21:00.700 can keep you from dealing with it. 00:21:01.059 --> 00:21:02.860 Proverbs 24, 30, and 31, 00:21:03.380 --> 00:21:04.840 the proverb writer said this, 00:21:04.900 --> 00:21:06.700 I passed by the field of a sluggard 00:21:06.700 --> 00:21:09.039 by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, 00:21:09.700 --> 00:21:12.100 and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns. 00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:13.880 The ground was covered with nettles, 00:21:14.080 --> 00:21:16.840 and its stone wall was broken down. 00:21:16.920 --> 00:21:18.200 Now there is so much there. 00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:19.220 It's a sermon in itself 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:20.279 that I don't have time to deal with. 00:21:20.539 --> 00:21:21.320 But listen to me. 00:21:21.319 --> 00:21:24.539 The wall of protection around your marriage 00:21:24.539 --> 00:21:27.720 will deteriorate if you don't maintain it 00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:29.859 because you're being lazy. 00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:33.359 Don't be lazy in your relationship. 00:21:33.779 --> 00:21:36.460 It'll slip away from you before you know it. 00:21:38.299 --> 00:21:39.639 We have to pull some weeds. 00:21:39.779 --> 00:21:42.019 But growing a marriage is not just about pulling weeds. 00:21:42.659 --> 00:21:44.379 That's the stuff you got to get rid of. 00:21:44.380 --> 00:21:48.980 The first part of Galatians 5, 16 through 26 00:21:48.980 --> 00:21:50.600 deals with what you got to get rid of. 00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:51.940 Then it tells you what you got to get. 00:21:52.040 --> 00:21:54.320 And so let me get on to what you have to do. 00:21:54.520 --> 00:21:57.120 You have to plant seeds as well. 00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.780 You got to pull weeds, you got to plant seeds. 00:22:00.620 --> 00:22:02.080 And I'm just going to tell you two ways 00:22:02.080 --> 00:22:07.080 to plant seeds in your marriage for good growth. 00:22:07.800 --> 00:22:09.900 One of them, the first way to plant good seeds 00:22:09.900 --> 00:22:11.980 in a marriage is to be quick to forgive. 00:22:12.600 --> 00:22:13.580 Be quick to forgive. 00:22:14.380 --> 00:22:18.680 Quit hanging stuff over the head of your spouse. 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:22.440 1 Corinthians 13 says, 00:22:22.800 --> 00:22:25.280 Love keeps no record of wrongs. 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:28.200 And a marriage is not going to grow stronger 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:31.420 when it lacks seeds of forgiveness. 00:22:33.020 --> 00:22:36.360 Forgiveness should be fruitful in our marriages. 00:22:37.420 --> 00:22:39.720 Let me let you in on a secret, okay? 00:22:40.360 --> 00:22:42.040 If you ain't figured this out yet, 00:22:42.040 --> 00:22:43.180 you need to know this. 00:22:44.380 --> 00:22:46.980 I speak to every married person in this room. 00:22:47.340 --> 00:22:49.640 You are married to an imperfect spouse. 00:22:51.640 --> 00:22:53.920 And if you didn't realize that when you got married, 00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:54.720 that's your fault. 00:22:55.940 --> 00:22:57.400 You didn't look close enough. 00:22:58.500 --> 00:22:59.120 But you know what? 00:22:59.180 --> 00:23:01.580 Your spouse married an imperfect spouse as well. 00:23:02.280 --> 00:23:03.760 And so y'all quit elbowing each other. 00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:04.640 You're both guilty. 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:07.340 In a marriage, you support one another. 00:23:08.020 --> 00:23:09.759 And that's the mark of a marriage. 00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:11.800 Sometimes you grin and bear it. 00:23:11.900 --> 00:23:13.580 Sometimes you might grit and bear it. 00:23:13.620 --> 00:23:14.740 Either way, bear it. 00:23:16.360 --> 00:23:17.940 However, sometimes we don't. 00:23:18.020 --> 00:23:18.740 We don't grin. 00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:19.580 We don't bear. 00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:21.660 We sin and we sneer. 00:23:21.980 --> 00:23:23.340 And that can cause bitterness. 00:23:23.560 --> 00:23:28.340 And that is a weed that has to be pulled and replaced with forgiveness. 00:23:28.339 --> 00:23:31.539 And that will require you taking that matter before the Lord. 00:23:33.019 --> 00:23:34.379 Pray for your spouse. 00:23:36.059 --> 00:23:38.619 Pray for your spouse daily. 00:23:39.639 --> 00:23:42.639 God's going to work on both of you if you'll pray for your spouse. 00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:46.880 But it also requires a commitment to say enough is enough. 00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:50.759 Not to say that to your spouse, but to yourself and to the Lord. 00:23:50.920 --> 00:23:51.600 Enough's enough. 00:23:51.860 --> 00:23:53.460 I'm not going to point my finger anymore. 00:23:53.560 --> 00:23:54.660 I'm not going to do it. 00:23:55.340 --> 00:23:58.580 Paul David Tripp wrote in his book, What Did You Expect? 00:23:59.840 --> 00:24:02.820 He challenges us to make the following oath to the Lord. 00:24:03.360 --> 00:24:06.360 I will not listen to myself defend my actions. 00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:11.360 I will not carry around a list of my spouse's wrongs in my head. 00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:13.859 I will not judge. 00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:15.859 I will not criticize. 00:24:16.779 --> 00:24:18.139 I will not blame. 00:24:19.059 --> 00:24:22.659 I will not require more of my spouse than I do of me. 00:24:23.979 --> 00:24:26.740 I will not complain. 00:24:28.579 --> 00:24:30.059 I will not argue. 00:24:31.459 --> 00:24:33.039 I will not withdraw. 00:24:34.679 --> 00:24:36.319 I will not manipulate. 00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:40.219 I'll trust God to correct what's wrong. 00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:43.500 Discipline misbehavior. 00:24:44.859 --> 00:24:46.939 Cultivate better thoughts in my spouse. 00:24:48.779 --> 00:24:53.319 I will not have self-righteous standoffs that never do any good. 00:24:53.659 --> 00:24:55.839 I will not paint myself as a victim. 00:24:56.299 --> 00:24:58.679 I will not paint my spouse as a criminal. 00:24:59.179 --> 00:25:00.699 I will not be demanding. 00:25:01.059 --> 00:25:02.679 I will not feel entitled. 00:25:03.059 --> 00:25:04.359 I will not threaten. 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:06.619 I will not brag on myself. 00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:07.979 I will love. 00:25:08.479 --> 00:25:09.699 I will forgive. 00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:11.839 I will hold up. 00:25:11.939 --> 00:25:14.679 And I will cherish my spouse. 00:25:17.059 --> 00:25:26.219 Old, untreated, festered wounds infect and can cause the whole relationship to get septic. 00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:30.220 So deal with your resentments. 00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:31.700 Deal with them. 00:25:32.279 --> 00:25:34.079 Galatians 5 verse 15 says this. 00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:40.019 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you're not consumed by one another. 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:43.500 I like what I heard an old preacher say one time. 00:25:43.559 --> 00:25:45.980 He said, when we first got married, we could eat each other up. 00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:48.660 After we've been married a while, we wish we had. 00:25:48.660 --> 00:25:52.759 So deal with your resentments. 00:25:54.300 --> 00:25:56.000 Plant seeds of forgiveness. 00:25:57.400 --> 00:26:01.120 Lastly, another way to plant is to serve. 00:26:02.779 --> 00:26:09.019 Paul says in Galatians 5 verse 13, through love serve one another. 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:13.259 Nowhere is that more needed than in marriage. 00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:17.160 Now to do that right, there has to be a love for God. 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:20.600 And that love is serving him. 00:26:21.360 --> 00:26:26.600 And when you realize that, that by serving others you serve the Lord, you'll get joy from serving others. 00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:28.500 Even when you don't want to. 00:26:29.660 --> 00:26:32.460 You'll get joy from serving others if you love the Lord. 00:26:32.560 --> 00:26:36.560 And to be clear, most problems in a marriage, I want you to hear this. 00:26:38.800 --> 00:26:41.640 Most problems in a marriage are vertical problems. 00:26:43.840 --> 00:26:45.940 They're problems between you and the Lord. 00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.100 Not your spouse and the Lord. 00:26:49.180 --> 00:26:49.860 You and the Lord. 00:26:50.019 --> 00:26:51.360 That's most of the problems. 00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:53.960 And they appear horizontal. 00:26:54.340 --> 00:26:55.920 So we blame it on other folks. 00:26:56.019 --> 00:26:58.360 But the reality is, most of the time it's just us and the Lord. 00:26:59.120 --> 00:27:01.900 Therefore, if you're not right with God, you're going to have a hard time getting right with anyone. 00:27:01.900 --> 00:27:08.060 So when you walk with the Lord, if you're married, you want to serve your spouse. 00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:08.940 How do you do that? 00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:10.900 Well, where does your spouse get discouraged? 00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:14.960 Where does your spouse get overwhelmed? 00:27:15.080 --> 00:27:16.120 Be a help there. 00:27:18.060 --> 00:27:24.800 Where does your spouse, what does your spouse do daily that she or he may need your help? 00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:31.599 How can you communicate your affection today for your spouse? 00:27:32.940 --> 00:27:34.639 You have your own love languages. 00:27:35.639 --> 00:27:38.879 But you need to speak in love languages and not just in other languages. 00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:45.720 Can you serve your spouse better in a way, in the way you communicate? 00:27:48.060 --> 00:27:52.300 Where can you be thankful today for your spouse? 00:27:53.300 --> 00:27:54.840 And how do you express that? 00:27:56.580 --> 00:27:58.240 You see, serving is loving. 00:27:58.800 --> 00:28:01.200 And it takes a daily commitment to make it work. 00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:04.500 And when both do it, it's like magic. 00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.180 When one does it, it's tough. 00:28:10.340 --> 00:28:11.140 It's tough. 00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:18.519 So keep in mind, what I'm doing, I'm doing for the Lord. 00:28:21.120 --> 00:28:25.880 What I do, I do for the Lord. 00:28:25.880 --> 00:28:35.360 So if in what you do, you don't get the response that you wish you got, remember, you're doing it for the Lord. 00:28:36.940 --> 00:28:40.800 I want to honor the Lord in the way that I love my spouse. 00:28:42.440 --> 00:28:51.520 And the influence, hear me, the influence of that kind of attitude can be amazing. 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:56.879 It may not be what you're doing for your spouse. 00:28:57.039 --> 00:29:01.139 It may be how you're doing it that makes the difference is what I'm saying. 00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:04.639 So spend time together in the garden of marriage. 00:29:06.139 --> 00:29:08.480 You don't need to work in your yard on the Lord's day. 00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:09.279 It's a day of rest. 00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:09.980 You shouldn't do that. 00:29:10.039 --> 00:29:11.740 But you can work in your marriage. 00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:18.799 So uproot selfishness and uproot bitterness and uproot the lack of attention, uproot laziness. 00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:20.660 And I'm talking about laziness in that relationship. 00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:28.320 And plant some love and plant some forgiveness and serve one another because God honors such as that. 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:36.980 And if you'll do it, you'll be surprised at how your marriage blooms. 00:29:38.800 --> 00:29:43.980 With every eye closed and every head bowed, I want to ask you today, 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:50.339 What is it that the Lord needs to do in your life today? 00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:52.640 It may be connected to your marriage. 00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:53.400 It may not be. 00:29:53.740 --> 00:29:55.980 I don't know how the Lord has spoke to you. 00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:04.099 But I know you'll never be satisfied unless you obediently follow what he tells you to do. 00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:06.779 And that begins with a relationship. 00:30:06.779 --> 00:30:08.639 And if you don't have a relationship with the Lord Jesus, 00:30:08.859 --> 00:30:13.379 If you've never asked him to forgive you of your sins and to come into your life and to change you, 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:15.399 To save you, 00:30:15.940 --> 00:30:18.200 I want you to know today's the day of salvation. 00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:20.119 He'll change your life if you'll surrender to him. 00:30:22.579 --> 00:30:26.680 Maybe you're here and you have done that, but you've never acknowledged that publicly. 00:30:26.879 --> 00:30:28.660 It's always been a private thing. 00:30:28.660 --> 00:30:31.340 Jesus said, 00:30:31.480 --> 00:30:33.920 If you're ashamed of me before others, I'll be ashamed of you before my Father. 00:30:33.980 --> 00:30:36.800 In other words, there's not a real relationship if you're ashamed of him. 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:38.779 So make that public today. 00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:40.660 Let me guide you in doing that. 00:30:40.740 --> 00:30:42.100 Being baptized as a believer. 00:30:42.820 --> 00:30:45.320 Letting other people know what's going on in your life. 00:30:46.120 --> 00:30:48.220 Maybe God's drawing you to this church. 00:30:48.360 --> 00:30:50.259 God's doing wonderful things, and I'm thankful for that. 00:30:50.320 --> 00:30:52.500 And maybe God's leading you to be a part of that. 00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:54.300 I'd love to guide you in that process. 00:30:55.120 --> 00:30:55.540 You come. 00:30:56.259 --> 00:30:58.040 Or maybe God's just speaking to your heart and life. 00:30:58.039 --> 00:30:59.460 Maybe he's speaking to your marriage. 00:30:59.500 --> 00:31:00.899 Or maybe he's just speaking to you. 00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:09.420 I encourage you to spend a few moments before we leave here. 00:31:10.700 --> 00:31:13.000 God, what would you have me do in my life? 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:16.159 What do I need to do? 00:31:16.879 --> 00:31:18.960 And then surrender to what he tells you. 00:31:20.019 --> 00:31:21.720 And live in response to that. 00:31:23.519 --> 00:31:26.059 None of us are perfect at this, folks. 00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:29.500 Well, let's get better at it. 00:31:30.839 --> 00:31:32.279 Lord Jesus, I love you. 00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:36.119 And I thank you, Lord, for your love for us. 00:31:36.119 --> 00:31:43.459 I'm burdened about the attack of the evil one on the family unit. 00:31:44.719 --> 00:31:46.539 And that means the people in a family. 00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:51.819 And I ask that you'll help us to see where our strength is 00:31:51.819 --> 00:31:55.199 and to respond to it in obedience today, right now. 00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:56.000 Oh, God, I pray. 00:31:56.639 --> 00:31:58.199 In Jesus' precious name. 00:31:58.899 --> 00:31:59.199 Amen. 00:31:59.279 --> 00:31:59.779 Amen. 00:32:03.779 --> 00:32:04.420 Amen. 00:32:04.420 --> 00:32:16.960 Ni h