WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.900 Now, we have our first Bible reading, which comes from Genesis chapter 18 and the first 13 verses. 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:20.500 And we're reading this because Peter in 1 Peter 3 makes reference to Abraham and Sarah. 00:00:22.820 --> 00:00:24.620 So Genesis 18 at the beginning. 00:00:24.620 --> 00:00:32.799 The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 00:00:33.740 --> 00:00:36.579 Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. 00:00:37.219 --> 00:00:42.880 When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:47.840 He said, if I have found favour in your eyes, my Lord, do not pass your servant by. 00:00:48.520 --> 00:00:52.980 Let a little water be brought and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. 00:00:52.979 --> 00:00:59.239 Let me get you something to eat so you can be refreshed and then go on your way now that you have come to your servant. 00:00:59.979 --> 00:01:01.859 Very well, they answered. Do as you say. 00:01:02.539 --> 00:01:04.640 So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. 00:01:04.979 --> 00:01:08.859 Quick, he said, get three siahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread. 00:01:09.299 --> 00:01:15.280 Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice tender calf and gave it to a servant who hurried to prepare it. 00:01:15.739 --> 00:01:20.620 He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared and set these before them. 00:01:20.620 --> 00:01:24.100 While they ate, he stood near them under a tree. 00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:26.840 Where is your wife Sarah? they asked him. 00:01:27.420 --> 00:01:28.920 There in the tent, he said. 00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:35.500 Then one of them said, I will surely return to you about this time next year and Sarah, your wife, will have a son. 00:01:36.460 --> 00:01:40.140 Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:45.920 Abraham and Sarah were already very old and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:54.780 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, after I am worn out and my Lord is old, will I now have this pleasure? 00:01:55.659 --> 00:02:02.780 Then the Lord said to Abraham, why did Sarah laugh and say, will I really have a child now that I am old? 00:02:03.240 --> 00:02:06.299 Is anything too hard for the Lord? 00:02:06.299 --> 00:02:13.120 I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son. 00:02:14.379 --> 00:02:18.900 So there's God working out his covenant promises to Abraham and Sarah. 00:02:18.979 --> 00:02:30.659 And there's that lovely picture of Abraham and Sarah as a family showing hospitality to those men who turn out to be angels sent with a wonderful message from God. 00:02:30.659 --> 00:02:36.719 1 Peter chapter 3 and the first seven verses. 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:46.960 Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, 00:02:47.419 --> 00:02:55.919 they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 00:02:55.919 --> 00:03:03.399 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. 00:03:03.539 --> 00:03:06.379 Rather, it should be that of your inner self. 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:11.959 The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 00:03:12.819 --> 00:03:18.219 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. 00:03:18.219 --> 00:03:25.120 They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. 00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:30.460 You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:39.139 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner 00:03:39.139 --> 00:03:47.719 and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 00:03:48.919 --> 00:03:49.559 Amen. 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:58.939 Okay, so if you have your Bibles, please have them open at 1 Peter and chapter 3. 00:03:58.939 --> 00:04:10.680 As we think about this together, as we think about what Peter says about wives and husbands and the glory of God. 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:16.579 And I'm going to say that this is another challenging text to preach. 00:04:16.860 --> 00:04:18.240 Challenging for a number of different reasons. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:27.319 One, the topic of submission is hard because we know that men have abused this. 00:04:27.319 --> 00:04:35.459 There has been a problem of abusive leadership and misusing of truths like this. 00:04:35.500 --> 00:04:40.300 And then we think in society of things like the Me Too movement and we recognise it as a problem. 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:47.899 There is natural resistance to the topic of submission. 00:04:48.180 --> 00:04:54.879 Because we understand women are equally competent, equally valuable, and sometimes there can be misunderstanding. 00:04:54.879 --> 00:05:01.779 For others it can seem to be against the notion that the Gospel breaks down barriers. 00:05:01.980 --> 00:05:04.259 We think, well, this is setting up barriers. 00:05:05.079 --> 00:05:06.120 And so there are questions. 00:05:06.339 --> 00:05:07.199 And so it's hard. 00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:08.379 It's hard to teach. 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:09.860 It's hard to teach from a distance like this. 00:05:10.699 --> 00:05:16.240 Also, there's a challenge because Peter is writing in a very different time and place than ours. 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:27.879 So Peter, in a first century Roman context, is actually giving great dignity to women, recognising them as being morally responsible. 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:40.439 And actually, in his words, there's the potential for social transformation, recognising in spiritual terms that male and female are equal. 00:05:40.439 --> 00:05:46.540 But while it's really dignifying in the first century, we don't hear it necessarily in the 21st century. 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:48.980 And we can oppose it. 00:05:50.300 --> 00:05:56.620 It's challenging also because there's going to be a temptation for some of us to switch off. 00:05:56.779 --> 00:05:59.240 And in our digital age to switch off literally. 00:06:00.159 --> 00:06:02.740 Because we think this isn't relevant to me. 00:06:03.180 --> 00:06:06.259 I'm not a wife or I'm not a husband, as we get to the end of the text. 00:06:06.259 --> 00:06:12.379 So we need to show how the general principle of verse 12 is crucial. 00:06:14.219 --> 00:06:15.360 Verse 12, which says, 00:06:15.579 --> 00:06:23.019 Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 00:06:23.039 --> 00:06:27.259 So this is Peter giving another example of how that principle works itself out. 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:28.819 So there is a specific focus. 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:32.699 But we need to show how it's also got relevance for all of us. 00:06:32.699 --> 00:06:53.839 And so I hope, stick with me, I hope that every Christian who is listening will see that we must give thought in our own context for how to bring God glory in our society, in our relationships, whatever that might look like. 00:06:53.839 --> 00:07:03.199 Perhaps to help, I'm going to borrow from Rebecca McLaughlin's story. 00:07:03.319 --> 00:07:07.319 Rebecca McLaughlin, who wrote Confronting Christianity, which incidentally is an excellent book. 00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:11.699 If you want to think about some of the hard questions facing Christianity. 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:17.319 She talks about coming to this point of view, Peter's point of view here, reluctantly. 00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:26.920 And especially as a woman talking with other friends about the gospel showing love across differences. 00:07:28.199 --> 00:07:32.420 She found this teaching of submission very difficult. 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:36.199 So what brought resolution for her? 00:07:36.300 --> 00:07:39.560 And maybe this will help some of us as well. 00:07:39.980 --> 00:07:42.319 Well, the resolution came from Ephesians 5.25. 00:07:42.500 --> 00:07:44.000 That's where we began. 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.279 Where do we begin? 00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:52.079 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:07:52.779 --> 00:08:04.259 In other words, it was the incredible demand that the gospel placed on husbands that then made the call to submission acceptable. 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:06.339 Love your wife to death. 00:08:06.779 --> 00:08:07.620 Sacrifice for her. 00:08:07.620 --> 00:08:17.860 Her needs before yours is the message to husbands as we pattern our relationships on Jesus. 00:08:18.439 --> 00:08:23.840 And Rebecca McLaughlin, she realised, well, marriage is about Jesus and the church. 00:08:25.139 --> 00:08:28.540 Marriage is a glimpse into the self-giving of Jesus. 00:08:28.660 --> 00:08:29.840 The sacrifice of Jesus. 00:08:29.980 --> 00:08:33.120 The other-centred love of Jesus. 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:47.879 And so 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 to 7 is built on the people of God responding to Jesus submitting to the cross for his people. 00:08:50.519 --> 00:08:52.399 Wives, husbands, all of us. 00:08:52.399 --> 00:09:02.480 It's the sacrifice and the submission of Jesus that then shapes how we are to live for him and how we are to live in our relationship. 00:09:02.600 --> 00:09:05.679 So let's begin to get into this. 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:08.079 And let's ask this question. 00:09:08.259 --> 00:09:11.340 Why are wives called to submit? 00:09:12.319 --> 00:09:14.480 So let's think general principles to us now. 00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:18.200 So to hear verse 1 as we should, let me read verse 1. 00:09:18.779 --> 00:09:23.360 Wives, in the same way, submit yourself to your own husband. 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:30.600 So to hear that as we should, to not get any misunderstandings, we need to dig into the Bible. 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:36.539 And I want to talk about three different patterns that we see in the Bible that can help to understand this. 00:09:36.600 --> 00:09:39.620 First of all, there's the pattern of creation. 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:43.000 So you go to the beginning of the Bible, Genesis 1 to 3. 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:44.940 What do we find there? 00:09:45.019 --> 00:09:50.279 We find God creating male and female in his image, in his likeness. 00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:54.299 That we are equal in dignity and value as image bearers. 00:09:54.340 --> 00:09:55.159 That's clear. 00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:58.299 Biblically, that's absolutely clear. 00:09:58.840 --> 00:10:07.539 But we also see that God made Adam first and gives him a role of authority. 00:10:07.539 --> 00:10:13.419 And that then sets this universal, unchanging principle across times and cultures. 00:10:13.539 --> 00:10:17.039 Now that will look different across times and cultures, but the principle stays the same. 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:18.559 So there's the pattern of creation. 00:10:19.860 --> 00:10:24.980 And then we also need to think about the pattern of the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:10:26.199 --> 00:10:27.279 Who is Jesus? 00:10:27.459 --> 00:10:29.240 Jesus is fully God. 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:33.759 Jesus is absolutely equal with God his Father. 00:10:34.139 --> 00:10:42.799 And yet, Jesus submitted to becoming a man in order to represent humanity. 00:10:43.419 --> 00:10:47.220 Jesus submitted to death on a cross. 00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:52.960 To be our sin-bearing, sin-forgiving saviour. 00:10:52.960 --> 00:11:00.560 And so the pattern of Christ tells us that submitting does not mean a person is inferior. 00:11:02.139 --> 00:11:04.259 So there's the pattern of Christ and the pattern of Christ. 00:11:04.360 --> 00:11:05.759 And there's the pattern of the gospel. 00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:07.600 And it's back to Ephesians 5. 00:11:07.680 --> 00:11:10.480 And that reminder that marriage is about Jesus and the church. 00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:24.659 So when Peter calls wives to submit, he's making that first and foremost about responding to the reality that Jesus is Lord, that he has submitted to death for them. 00:11:24.659 --> 00:11:37.059 When he calls on husbands to love and serve, he's calling them to do that in response to the loving service of Jesus for them and for the church. 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:44.480 And to be a picture of Jesus presenting the gospel in marriage to the world. 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:49.019 So coming back to 1 Peter chapter 3. 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:53.740 And indeed coming back to that wider passage that we're in from 2.11 to 3.7. 00:11:55.539 --> 00:11:58.460 The church is being called to submit. 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:01.220 Submit to government. 00:12:01.940 --> 00:12:03.440 Submit to their masters. 00:12:03.680 --> 00:12:04.940 Thinking about sort of workplace stuff. 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:06.940 And wives are called to submit to husbands. 00:12:06.940 --> 00:12:12.759 And all of those are to be motivated by a response to the gospel. 00:12:12.759 --> 00:12:16.340 And that's what we've seen in each different theme. 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:18.939 In other words, Jesus has loved me. 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:21.480 Jesus has submitted to the cross for me. 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:23.379 He has suffered and died to save me. 00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:30.580 And that then influences how I live in relationship to others. 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:42.179 So in this very specific call for a wife to submit, we need to understand this isn't about traditional gender roles in Peter's mind. 00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:47.299 And in the teaching of the Bible, it's about love and obedience to the Lord Jesus. 00:12:48.519 --> 00:12:50.099 That can never be said enough. 00:12:51.099 --> 00:12:53.819 That's always the motivation for the people of God in the Bible. 00:12:54.779 --> 00:13:00.179 Our obedience that flows from the love that Jesus has for us. 00:13:00.179 --> 00:13:06.459 And as we receive his grace, we are then called to obey to his glory and for him. 00:13:07.419 --> 00:13:15.219 And when we understand that, that then allows us to draw some boundaries around this principle because we must recognise that this has been misused at times. 00:13:15.379 --> 00:13:18.579 So what does submission mean? 00:13:19.099 --> 00:13:21.319 And what does submission not mean? 00:13:21.979 --> 00:13:24.000 It's also really important for us to address. 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:32.000 So the Christian New Testament scholar Karen Jobs, she makes a great point in her book on 1 Peter when she says, 00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:40.299 We are called to live out our marriages in a way that honours the gospel in today's social order. 00:13:40.779 --> 00:13:47.059 Her point is, first century Roman world is not 21st century Edinburgh. 00:13:47.059 --> 00:14:01.419 So the first century husband and wife, the 21st century husband and wife in Edinburgh, we are to relate to each other in a way that reflects the biblical view of marriage, that reflects the central place of the gospel. 00:14:01.419 --> 00:14:08.740 But that's going to look different from place to place, culture to culture, even from household to household. 00:14:11.079 --> 00:14:17.899 We need to remember that we are image bearers as people, image bearers of God. 00:14:18.439 --> 00:14:28.480 And so we need to guard against the sin of misrepresenting what Jesus is like in our relationships. 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:38.639 So we need to give a lot of attention in all of our relationships to thinking about, am I reflecting and representing Jesus well? 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:49.420 And so when Peter comes to marriage and to husbands and to wives, he lays down principles, not specifics, but principles. 00:14:49.940 --> 00:14:53.519 And each husband and wife then must figure that out in their own setting. 00:14:53.519 --> 00:15:03.279 So that's a reminder that it's not the role of the church to get into the nitty gritty of how your marriages put these principles into practice. 00:15:03.500 --> 00:15:06.980 It's our responsibility to lay down the principles. 00:15:07.819 --> 00:15:16.480 But we dare not be overbearing and interfere and say, wives, you should live like this before your husband or husband, you should be like this. 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:24.440 No, we lay the principles and then it's up to husbands and wives to work on how that looks for them. 00:15:25.480 --> 00:15:29.000 Now, five points on what does submission mean and what does it not mean? 00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:35.399 We need to do a good bit of work on this just so we're all as much as possible on the same page. 00:15:35.399 --> 00:15:42.100 And this is largely drawn from Femi Osunui, who works in Lagos in Nigeria. 00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:48.399 It does not mean that women are inferior when we talk about submission. 00:15:48.980 --> 00:15:54.240 OK, we remember that from Genesis 1, equal value, dignity, image bearers of God together. 00:15:54.799 --> 00:15:58.459 Here, we can show it from our text, verse 1. 00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:04.120 We recognise it's not inferior because women are given a vital ministry. 00:16:05.060 --> 00:16:12.480 This whole talk from Peter about living for Jesus in their marriage is a vital kingdom ministry. 00:16:12.660 --> 00:16:14.860 This is evangelism, frontline evangelism going on. 00:16:15.160 --> 00:16:16.700 So they're given a vital ministry. 00:16:16.840 --> 00:16:25.460 And then in verse 7, we discover that they are heirs with their husbands in the gracious gift of life. 00:16:25.460 --> 00:16:27.160 So they've got the same spiritual inheritance. 00:16:27.300 --> 00:16:29.019 There's no inferiority here. 00:16:31.160 --> 00:16:34.940 It also does not mean that women are called to submit to all men. 00:16:35.139 --> 00:16:36.820 Did you notice the limit in verse 1? 00:16:38.019 --> 00:16:40.720 Submit yourselves to your own husband. 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:50.700 And again, let me say it again, each family unit is going to work how that looks in practice for their situation. 00:16:51.080 --> 00:16:54.759 And we might take very different views on how that looks. 00:16:55.460 --> 00:16:58.080 And that's OK, so long as we're holding to the biblical principle. 00:16:59.780 --> 00:17:09.440 Now, it also does not mean that women are being called to put a husband's will ahead of the will of the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:10.799 Remember, this is speaking to Christian women. 00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:14.779 They're not being called to put their husband's will ahead of that of Jesus. 00:17:15.019 --> 00:17:17.220 Now, the example of Sarah is interesting. 00:17:17.220 --> 00:17:20.900 So we read a little bit of Sarah's and Abraham's story in Genesis 18. 00:17:21.059 --> 00:17:27.779 Notice in our text, Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. 00:17:27.880 --> 00:17:29.660 That's little L, Lord. 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:31.279 That's a term of respect. 00:17:31.799 --> 00:17:35.799 Sarah recognised God as capital letter Lord. 00:17:36.299 --> 00:17:37.039 Lord of all. 00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:38.600 Lord of their marriage. 00:17:38.759 --> 00:17:40.220 Lord of her life. 00:17:40.220 --> 00:17:45.480 And God the Lord came over Abraham, the little L, Lord. 00:17:46.579 --> 00:17:53.420 Now, this call to submit also does not mean there are no limits on it. 00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:56.920 Again, Peter's emphasis all throughout. 00:17:57.700 --> 00:17:58.660 Jesus is Lord. 00:17:59.220 --> 00:18:01.360 Jesus is the one we are to revere and honour. 00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:11.419 So that means Christian women should not submit if they are asked to do sinful actions. 00:18:12.159 --> 00:18:16.000 Should not submit if they are being asked to go against their conscience. 00:18:16.500 --> 00:18:20.859 Should not submit if they are being asked to go against God's commands. 00:18:21.859 --> 00:18:23.599 Remember, Peter is talking about suffering. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:31.500 And that's some of the ways in this kind of marriage where one is a believer and the other isn't, where there might be suffering. 00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:40.480 Expectations where, in this case, a wife has to say no because of my faith in God. 00:18:41.419 --> 00:18:42.459 That's what it doesn't mean. 00:18:42.500 --> 00:18:43.599 But what does it mean? 00:18:45.579 --> 00:18:46.619 Well, let's hear it again. 00:18:46.719 --> 00:18:49.500 Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands. 00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:57.160 It means being disposed to, agreeable to, follow the leadership of a husband in a family. 00:18:57.420 --> 00:18:58.960 However that looks in each case. 00:19:00.059 --> 00:19:03.759 It means being inclined to submit. 00:19:04.380 --> 00:19:14.839 So long as, verse 6, so long as you can still do what is right in God's eyes. 00:19:14.839 --> 00:19:19.379 In other words, so long as you're not being led into sin and so long as you don't give way to fear. 00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:24.019 So long as the fear and loyalty goes firstly to Christ the King. 00:19:25.779 --> 00:19:29.059 So I hope that that maybe has cleared away some misunderstanding. 00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:40.759 Perhaps it's also shown where Christians and the church have gone astray from Bible teaching by being heavy-handed or being abusive in the way that we've used this kind of thing. 00:19:40.759 --> 00:19:45.859 And I hope that we'll be able to see as we go on the positive nature of the command. 00:19:46.099 --> 00:19:51.779 Now, let's get into specifics for a few minutes. 00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:55.400 So, first big theme from the first six verses. 00:19:55.619 --> 00:20:00.039 Wives, submit to your husband to the glory of God. 00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:10.799 So we're being introduced, I guess, to what's been happening in the first century as Christianity is beginning to take hold in Roman society. 00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:16.859 There are wives who are converting to faith in the Lord Jesus with husbands who as yet have not. 00:20:16.859 --> 00:20:30.539 And so the behaviour of a wife then could add to or remove from those suspicions and those attacks that were being laid against this new faith. 00:20:30.859 --> 00:20:33.339 You know, some people thought Christianity was a great social evil. 00:20:33.459 --> 00:20:36.879 It would create great disruption in society and in families. 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:44.099 And Peter's saying that wives by their behaviour can either sort of add to or take away from that idea. 00:20:44.099 --> 00:20:52.980 In view here, a specific category of wife, wives of non-Christian husbands. 00:20:53.199 --> 00:20:58.759 Now, what does Peter have to say to this group of women? 00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:03.619 Let's think about three M's together briefly. 00:21:04.199 --> 00:21:07.259 First of all, what is their mission? 00:21:08.779 --> 00:21:09.779 Verse one. 00:21:09.779 --> 00:21:17.700 Submit so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over. 00:21:19.299 --> 00:21:21.119 Look to win them over. 00:21:21.500 --> 00:21:25.899 In other words, look to change their hearts so they're not hostile to faith. 00:21:26.579 --> 00:21:29.339 Positively that they would come to follow Jesus as Lord. 00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:32.859 That they would come to see him as good news. 00:21:32.859 --> 00:21:40.259 As we have already said, this is then frontline mission for God in a person's own house. 00:21:41.479 --> 00:21:55.419 And I imagine many of us can testify that our home situation can be the hardest to witness for Jesus if either a spouse or the extended family are not Christians. 00:21:55.420 --> 00:22:01.180 And remember the context of 1 Peter, where he's often writing to a suffering church. 00:22:01.300 --> 00:22:09.460 Perhaps these wives are suffering insult or being rejected or marginalised because of this new faith. 00:22:10.560 --> 00:22:17.480 I was reading this week an article on persecuted women within the persecuted church. 00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:19.640 And attacks are on the rise. 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:28.539 Husbands or fathers disowning or attacking their wife for bringing shame on the family for converting. 00:22:29.740 --> 00:22:33.819 And so perhaps in a much lesser way there is some of those pressures going on here. 00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:35.759 But that's their mission, to win them over. 00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:37.140 What about their method? 00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:41.259 Verse 1 again. 00:22:41.380 --> 00:22:48.940 That they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 00:22:48.940 --> 00:22:54.740 So the emphasis falls on godly character and behaviour more than words. 00:22:55.360 --> 00:22:56.600 Purity and reverence. 00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:03.080 How we live before God that then sort of flows out into the marriage relationship. 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:07.379 There's wisdom calls involved in this. 00:23:07.379 --> 00:23:09.500 You know, there are times for words. 00:23:10.460 --> 00:23:14.220 But there's also that reality, as Jesus said, 00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:18.159 Let your light shine so that men may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 00:23:18.539 --> 00:23:23.279 Peter no doubt has this in mind as he speaks to the church and as he speaks to wives here. 00:23:24.159 --> 00:23:28.359 He talks about an inner beauty that is to be compelling. 00:23:28.359 --> 00:23:33.279 In verse 4, the gentle and quiet spirit. 00:23:34.439 --> 00:23:41.799 Again, as I read stories of persecuted women, there was one lady called Sozan in Syria. 00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:49.339 And she was converted to Christianity by hearing the words of Matthew 11, 29. 00:23:49.479 --> 00:23:50.319 Jesus, when he says, 00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:56.819 I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. 00:23:56.819 --> 00:24:00.159 And the gentleness of Jesus was what she found compelling. 00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:07.679 And then here Peter is calling on Christians and Christian wives to have that gentleness. 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:19.039 And like many Muslim converts, Sozan in Syria is finding that a real challenge in face of the barriers and the hostility within her family situation. 00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:22.559 Peter gives the example of Sarah. 00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:27.259 Sarah, Sarah in verse 6, who obeyed Abraham. 00:24:27.740 --> 00:24:35.639 Obeyed in the sense of following Abraham's spiritual lead while all the time acknowledging that God was her covenant Lord. 00:24:37.059 --> 00:24:42.240 So the method is about sort of inner beauty and character and good works. 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:45.039 And the motivation is so important. 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.259 And this is a radically new part of Christian teaching. 00:24:48.259 --> 00:24:52.299 Peter isn't saying submit to your husband in order to keep the social order. 00:24:52.980 --> 00:24:55.079 Submit to your husband in order to keep the peace. 00:24:56.299 --> 00:25:00.000 Rather, it's clear that he says submit for the Lord's sake. 00:25:00.980 --> 00:25:05.980 Submit because it has great worth in God's sake. 00:25:06.339 --> 00:25:11.619 To live with that kind of godly character, submitting to your husband has great worth to God. 00:25:11.619 --> 00:25:17.179 Submit, verse 5, putting your hope in God. 00:25:20.259 --> 00:25:33.039 Submit, verse 6, not giving way to fear of your husband, but being guided by that sense of fear and awe and wonder and love and loyalty towards the Lord Jesus. 00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:50.399 So it's as those who have been set free in the gospel, they are then called to submit to their husbands for God's sake and for the spiritual good of their husband and by extension their family. 00:25:50.539 --> 00:25:53.859 Now, let's draw out some teaching for all of us here. 00:25:53.859 --> 00:26:03.639 Let's think first if this directly relates to you, if you have a husband who's not a believer or a wife that's not a believer. 00:26:03.639 --> 00:26:13.039 The first thing the Bible is saying to us is that your primary call is to live for God's glory. 00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:16.740 To put Jesus first. 00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:21.459 To build your identity in and on the Lord Jesus. 00:26:23.859 --> 00:26:28.119 And that's going to require wisdom and prayer and the help of the church. 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:35.659 There is a call to honour and respect your husband or your wife. 00:26:35.779 --> 00:26:38.919 To be considerate, to be compassionate. 00:26:40.099 --> 00:26:42.419 To seek their highest good. 00:26:43.859 --> 00:26:47.759 Which ultimately we know is their salvation. 00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:53.359 So this is a call to a life of service. 00:26:54.460 --> 00:27:04.839 Where perhaps you spend much more time in prayer to God about your husband or your wife than you do talking to them about your faith. 00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:09.019 Choosing carefully when to use words. 00:27:09.019 --> 00:27:17.279 But always looking to live shining God's light. 00:27:18.859 --> 00:27:22.519 What does this have to say to any of us who are married? 00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:28.960 There is a call to love one another for the sake of the Lord Jesus. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:36.120 Remembering that marriage is a picture of the gospel and the love of Jesus for his church. 00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:45.160 Here too is an encouragement to pursue godly character that's pointing our family to Jesus daily. 00:27:47.160 --> 00:27:54.220 Here is an encouragement to seek one another's spiritual welfare together to invest in eternity and what ultimately matters. 00:27:54.220 --> 00:27:59.700 To build a marriage on the foundation of Jesus and the gospel. 00:28:00.700 --> 00:28:07.240 That his love would fill you with love for your husband, your wife, your children, for extended family. 00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:15.980 If you're unmarried, but considering it, and perhaps that's some of you listening in. 00:28:15.980 --> 00:28:29.500 I appreciated the wisdom and honesty of a man called Scott Croft when he said marriage is both incredibly fun, and it is, and incredibly hard. 00:28:30.420 --> 00:28:36.000 It will be your greatest act of ministry and service. 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:45.099 Now that's not something that we discover from Hollywood or social media where it's perhaps much more about emotions and attraction. 00:28:45.880 --> 00:28:48.819 The Bible says it's an act of will. 00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:54.500 Of sacrificing oneself, of being a servant for another. 00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:58.680 So it's important to have that correct view of marriage and mindset. 00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:09.000 Let me also say that we should never misuse this text to justify pursuing a non-Christian. 00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:14.039 If you're a Christian and you're not married, marry a Christian. 00:29:16.140 --> 00:29:26.080 And if nothing else, this text is showing some of the suffering that comes when a husband and a wife don't share that same foundation of faith. 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:31.559 The Bible says don't be unequally yoked. 00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:34.319 Because it will bring pain. 00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:38.079 Not being able to share Jesus. 00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:45.919 The most important thing to you, not being able to share God as your refuge and strength together. 00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:50.119 Of constantly being pulled in different directions. 00:29:50.319 --> 00:29:54.179 Of the pressures on family when there are those separate pulls. 00:29:54.180 --> 00:29:59.779 So don't misuse this to justify pursuing a non-Christian. 00:30:00.660 --> 00:30:05.039 Praise God if we are in this situation. 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:10.000 There is grace and there is help and there is strength for us. 00:30:10.600 --> 00:30:16.120 And praise God for the encouragement that there is redemption and salvation. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:19.700 And Christian marriages can be established. 00:30:19.700 --> 00:30:29.059 And also, if you're thinking about marriage, begin preparing your heart now. 00:30:31.059 --> 00:30:33.180 Think about what Peter is saying is most important. 00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:35.180 Grow in your knowledge and love of God. 00:30:35.580 --> 00:30:40.580 Make sure your life is built on putting Jesus first and serving the needs of others. 00:30:40.579 --> 00:30:47.059 And then look for a godly girl, look for a godly guy that shares those values. 00:30:49.559 --> 00:30:50.759 All of us. 00:30:52.460 --> 00:30:53.919 Let's recognise. 00:30:54.439 --> 00:30:56.059 When we think about what Peter is saying here. 00:30:56.139 --> 00:31:01.500 Let's recognise the impact of what we might call lifestyle evangelism. 00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:05.559 Living for the glory of God in our relationships. 00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:11.599 Lots of people today are interested in is Christianity true. 00:31:12.579 --> 00:31:17.619 But almost as many people and perhaps more are interested in asking, does Christianity work? 00:31:17.700 --> 00:31:18.619 What difference does it make? 00:31:19.579 --> 00:31:21.799 And here's a reminder, positive reminder, encouragement. 00:31:21.980 --> 00:31:25.720 God can use our lives for his glory to save others. 00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:32.019 So, wives, submit your husbands to the glory of God is the dominant message. 00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:39.160 And then very, very briefly, husbands, verse 7, honour your wives to the glory of God. 00:31:39.200 --> 00:31:41.400 Now, you might have the question, why just one verse for the husbands? 00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:43.299 Is Peter letting husbands off the hook? 00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:46.000 Well, remember the context of 1 Peter. 00:31:46.120 --> 00:31:51.160 He's writing to those who are likely to suffer or to face oppression at the hands of others. 00:31:51.660 --> 00:31:53.960 And that's not really the case for husbands of the first century. 00:31:53.960 --> 00:32:01.240 The focus is on wives who are much more likely to face opposition from, in this case, their unbelieving husbands. 00:32:01.620 --> 00:32:04.360 But nevertheless, he has an important truth to share. 00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:06.259 Husbands in the same way. 00:32:06.759 --> 00:32:10.680 He begins the same way as he talked to the servants, same way as he talked to wives. 00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:12.960 In the same way, same motive. 00:32:13.220 --> 00:32:17.420 Love for Jesus, submitting to him as Lord, is to define how we approach being a husband. 00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:23.579 Be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect. 00:32:23.579 --> 00:32:24.599 Be considerate. 00:32:24.639 --> 00:32:26.859 This is back to the gospel, back to the example of Jesus. 00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:28.259 Put the needs of others first. 00:32:28.359 --> 00:32:30.859 Put the needs of your wife ahead of our own. 00:32:31.559 --> 00:32:32.639 And be respectful. 00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:34.539 Be respectful. 00:32:34.679 --> 00:32:34.899 Why? 00:32:35.019 --> 00:32:38.939 Because, as Peter says, your wife is weaker. 00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:45.519 And remember, in the first century, they were weaker physically, but also weaker in their social position. 00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.519 So be respectful. 00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:48.240 So be respectful. 00:32:48.940 --> 00:32:53.519 And recognise that they share equally in the gift of eternal life. 00:32:53.579 --> 00:32:56.779 So here's a reminder that Christianity is indeed a great equaliser. 00:32:56.779 --> 00:32:59.879 And there's a warning at the end. 00:33:00.779 --> 00:33:01.139 Do this. 00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:01.779 Live this way. 00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:03.579 Be considerate and respectful. 00:33:03.819 --> 00:33:06.200 Show honour so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 00:33:06.259 --> 00:33:07.000 What's Peter saying? 00:33:07.639 --> 00:33:15.079 A breakdown in a relationship of a husband to a wife brings a negative impact on one's relationship with God. 00:33:15.139 --> 00:33:16.180 It will hinder our prayers. 00:33:16.279 --> 00:33:18.059 It will spoil intimacy with God. 00:33:18.059 --> 00:33:25.220 So the basic message to husbands and to would-be husbands is, remember, we are servants. 00:33:26.220 --> 00:33:27.299 We're not consumers. 00:33:27.819 --> 00:33:29.460 We are to love and honour like Jesus. 00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:32.440 Sacrificing for the wives and the women in our lives. 00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:33.720 Putting their needs first. 00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:36.460 Wanting above all their spiritual good. 00:33:38.139 --> 00:33:40.639 And for husbands and wives. 00:33:41.720 --> 00:33:43.559 And for those looking in on marriage. 00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:47.559 Recognise that Jesus' love for the church is the ultimate meaning of marriage. 00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:51.319 We are called, if we were a husband or a wife, to live out that drama. 00:33:51.779 --> 00:33:54.039 To reflect the love of Jesus to one another. 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:57.599 To a watching world and before God himself. 00:33:59.859 --> 00:34:03.059 So let's finish with our big point that we had for our children. 00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:07.659 Live so that people in our lives see Jesus in us. 00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:15.219 You probably have people in your life who know you are Christian. 00:34:15.940 --> 00:34:17.019 And you pray for them. 00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:21.079 Perhaps over days or months or years you've shared the Bible. 00:34:21.259 --> 00:34:22.480 You've shared your faith with them. 00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:23.840 But as yet there's been no change. 00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:25.239 As yet there's no interest. 00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:28.440 Peter is saying, take heart. 00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:32.299 He says, yes, that is a form of suffering. 00:34:32.299 --> 00:34:33.940 Because we long for them. 00:34:34.380 --> 00:34:36.659 We long to share our faith in common. 00:34:36.659 --> 00:34:37.659 But take heart. 00:34:37.659 --> 00:34:38.579 But take heart. 00:34:38.579 --> 00:34:41.219 If they know that you live for Jesus. 00:34:41.819 --> 00:34:46.599 And if they see and feel that love and goodness in your life for them. 00:34:47.339 --> 00:34:50.940 God may use that to win them for himself. 00:34:50.940 --> 00:34:55.940 So look around in your mind's eye. 00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:59.500 Pray for Christian marriages and families. 00:35:00.460 --> 00:35:02.720 Pray for one another in our relationships. 00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:07.079 That the good news of the love of Jesus might be seen through us. 00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:22.599 You sebel have been speaking to.