Father, sometimes your word says things which go so against our culture,
it's hard for us to even feel comfortable talking about your word.
And so, Father, sometimes when your word seems to go against what our culture considers wise,
we don't trust your wisdom.
And we also know, Father, that many sinful people have taken your word
and twisted it to their own power and their own advantage.
And we confess before you, Father, that there is a part in us,
that it's not just other people, but there is a part within each one of us
that likes to twist your word for our own power, our own advantage.
We ask, Father, that you would do a mighty but gentle work in each of our hearts and minds this morning,
that the Holy Spirit would come with might and power and deep conviction
that you would grip us with the gospel, with who Jesus is and what he did for us
so that by faith in him we can be made right with you, all out of love, all out of love.
And so, Father, we ask that your Holy Spirit would so bring the gospel home to us,
that our hearts are quiet and trusting,
that we might understand your word and learn to live it.
And all this we ask in the name of Jesus, your Son and our Savior. Amen.
Please be seated.
So, here's what the Bible says.
Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
In any lesson about how to preach,
they always say that it's best to get something that grabs people's attention right from the beginning.
Usually, it doesn't mean reading the Bible right away.
Those of you who are watching who aren't Christians,
that doesn't usually grip Christians' hearts right away, reading the Bible.
But saying, wives, submit to your husbands,
that qualifies as a very good way to grip people's attention right from the beginning.
So, that's what the Bible says.
Why are we even reading this?
One of the things that we do at this church is that we preach through books of the Bible,
as a general rule.
Not all the time, not 52 weeks a year.
Our Christmas sermons will be about particular texts of the Bible,
but we preach through books of the Bible.
And one of the reasons that we,
there's several reasons we preach through books of the Bible.
First of all, everything in the Bible was written as a book.
So, when you preach through the Bible as a book,
you're actually reading it in the way that it was first heard,
the way that God, in a sense, and the authors intended it to be read and to be understood.
And by doing this, it's also the way, then, that's most helpful for Christians.
It means that we're allowing the Bible to set the agenda for us as Christians.
We're looking at things that we might not normally look at.
I can tell you, I am very, very, very, very, very Canadian.
And in my Canadian bones, I would not read this text in church and preach on it.
I'm just going to be very honest with you.
In fact, I'll also say that for many years, I wouldn't have preached on a text like this.
I would have found some way to dodge around it.
That's not something I'm boasting about.
It's something that I'm confessing.
But it's actually, in fact, the most helpful way for Christians to grow and learn
is by reading through the book.
And we look at things that I would not normally pick and that we wouldn't normally pick, maybe as a congregation.
It's also the most helpful way for non-Christians who are trying to figure out the Christian faith.
It'd be very easy if you went to a church that only preached on, well, whatever the church happened to think was important to preach on.
And there'd be this whole realm of things which are uncomfortable topics, inconvenient aspects of the Christian faith,
and that you would be left in the dark on, and then maybe even bothered very much if down the road you discovered
that if you're to be a Christian, you're supposed to believe it.
By reading through books of the Bible, we come upon these inconvenient texts from a Canadian perspective.
So, we're going to be looking, of course, at other verses, but once again it says this,
Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Now, many people who are watching, or many of you who are here,
probably have certain types of things that go through your mind.
George, don't you know that this text is very offensive?
Yes, I do know that it's very offensive to most Canadians,
including maybe the majority of Canadian Christians.
Don't you know, George, that there's this thing called wife abuse?
And don't you think a text like this will just give power, empower abusers?
I do know that there's wife abuse.
I mean, I know that there's wife abuse.
I don't think this text empowers abusers, but I know that there is wife abuse.
George, don't you think this text is offensive to Canadians
because it denies the idea of men and women being equal?
Don't you think you should empower women rather than disempowering them?
Don't you think, George, that marriages would be worse if this was followed?
And once again, George, don't you think this would legitimize and empower abuse?
I'm aware that these are all the types of questions that Canadians,
including Canadian Christians, have when they hear this text.
So let's walk towards the text and see what's there and why it's there,
and let's try to have a conversation about it.
But before we get any further into actually looking at the text,
I want you to grant me some mercy.
And this isn't a gotcha moment.
I'm not trying to getcha, have a smile, I gotcha.
But let's just be honest that when we talk about texts like this,
where the wife is asked to submit and the husband is asked to love,
the obvious question is why aren't husbands asked to submit and wives asked to love?
Or why don't both submit and why don't both love?
Why is it that this text seems to be picking on women and giving men a pass?
They get to just love.
Women have to submit.
So why is it different?
Doesn't this undermine equality?
Just before we get any further in the text,
let's just acknowledge that Canadians are...
Our culture empowers us to believe contradictory things at the same time
without realizing that they're contradictory.
This is what I just want you to give me a bit of mercy about.
But I would suggest that our culture regularly allows us to hold
three contradictory beliefs in our heads at all times
without ever thinking that they're contradictory, but they are contradictory.
And any time that I've had a conversation with us,
at any depth in a coffee place or some other place about this text,
often what happens is people go from one contradictory objection to another
without ever having the self-knowledge
that the ideas, in fact, are very contradictory.
Well, what are these three contradictory beliefs?
The three contradictory beliefs is that women and men are fundamentally equal.
In fact, it used to be said, an old feminist slogan,
that men and women are the same.
The only thing that was different is the plumbing.
But they're fundamentally the same.
Then people will go to another idea,
which would basically be that one of the problems is
that we don't have enough women in particular positions.
And why do we need women in particular positions?
Well, because there's things that women bring to organizations and leadership
that men don't bring.
In other words, that women, in fact, and men are fundamentally different.
And then you can have another go talking, trying to deal with another thing,
trying to deal with this for a couple of minutes,
and all of a sudden they'll tell you,
but by the way, don't you realize that men and women are just a...
Male and female, men and women, is just a social construct.
Now, once again, this isn't a gotcha moment.
This is just...
It's very hard to have a conversation about a text like this
when we're dealing with people holding three contradictory ideas in their head
at the same time without any realization whatsoever that they're contradictory.
Because really, you can't say all those three things at the same time.
You have to choose one of those three.
Fundamentally, you have to choose.
If, in fact, men and women are fundamentally the same,
then, in a sense, you have to say,
it doesn't matter whether there's women in boardrooms.
But if, in fact, you think that it's important to have women in boardrooms
as well as men because of the differences they bring,
then that first belief doesn't work.
And none of them make any sense if all you're going to say
is that male and female, men and being a man and being a woman
is just a social construct.
Well, then, none of that stuff makes sense.
Like, how can we even have a conversation?
You have to choose.
If it's just a construct, well, then,
why do we need more women in a position or more men in a position?
Or why are they equal if it's just a...
Like, you've got to choose.
You've got to choose.
So I guess I'm just asking,
if you just pause for a second and realize
that rather than Canada and the wisdom of Canada,
in fact, being wise,
that at a fundamental level it's incoherent.
Now, I'm not saying it's not incoherent
amongst some of the leading thinkers
who might be very, very laser-focused on particular ideas,
but for the average Canadian,
the problem we come with the text
is that we have an unconscious,
not an unconscious bias,
but an unconscious confusion.
And because of our unconscious confusion,
we can't actually begin to listen to the text.
And just before we go any further,
I just want to say,
in terms of those three confusions,
and I'd have to do several sermons on each of them,
I'm just going to make the particular claim,
that there is no ideology,
no religion in the world
that gives a stronger basis
for the equality of men and women
than the Christian faith.
Absolutely none.
The Bible roots the equality of men and women
in its very story of creation.
Evolution doesn't give that.
Secular evolutionary,
neo-Darwinian doesn't give that.
Neither does Hinduism,
neither does Buddhism,
neither does Islam.
And given that
neo-evolutionary theory
is the basis of secularism
and Marxism
and other types of things,
it gives no basis
for the fundamental equality of women
as the way that the Bible does.
The Bible is the source
of all secular belief
of the equality of men and women,
whether it's recognized or not.
I make no apologies for it.
In fact, it is the case.
The Bible also shows,
it would also claim very wisely
that male and female
are created biological realities
and that there is an effect.
The Bible is very, very wise
if you read it
from the beginning to the end.
It doesn't hold up
a picture of masculinity.
It doesn't hold up
a picture of femininity.
It very wisely says
that in fact
there is something
about being biologically male
that is connected
to what it means to be a man
and there is something
about being biologically female
which is connected
to what it means
to be a woman
but there is a lot
of flexibility
in what that precisely means.
A lot of room
for cultural context
but it maintains
that in fact
there is a difference.
In fact,
one of the problems
that people have
with the Bible text
is that this
and you can see it here
in the text,
I'm using a big word,
it's called
asymmetric commands,
asymmetric commands
is that when it comes
to the husband and wife
and other types of roles
in the Bible,
there's this regular
asymmetric command.
It even goes back
to the creation story
where the husband
has certain commands
and the wife
has certain commands
and they're not the same,
they're different.
The Bible acknowledges
that there is
this creational reality
that will work itself
out in certain ways
but it doesn't dictate
what it means
to be masculine,
what it means
to be feminine.
And for those of us
who are watching
and those of us
who are here,
if you are one
of many, many Canadians
who feel not at home
in your body,
that your body
is somehow wrong
to who you are,
the Bible only has
compassion for you
and Christians
should only have
compassion for you.
That must be so hard
to feel as if you were
in the completely wrong body
and all I can say
is that Jesus loves you
and that he desires you
to learn his yoke
so that you can walk
with him
as your Savior and Lord
as you deal
with how hard
it must be,
how hard it must be
to feel not at home
in your own body.
But the Bible will always,
healing will always
be in the direction
towards being at home
in your body.
That's always the direction
the healing will be.
And I,
so I think the Bible
in fact is very wise
in general,
but what about
this particular text?
George?
Okay, you're going to
give us a bit of a moment.
You've said,
we're going to let,
George,
you've asked that
some mercy could be
shown to you
because in fact
Canadians are a bit
confused about
what it actually means
to think about
men and women.
So what does the Bible say?
What does it actually say?
Well, before we get into
what the Bible says,
there's two other things
we need to deal with.
The first one is that,
and here I might be
offending some of you,
and I might be offending
some of you
who are watching this online.
I take no delight
in offending people.
But many, many
Canadian
and Western
Christians,
very, very well-meaning,
go in very, very wrong
directions about
trying to read this text.
Intentions are very good,
but in fact,
what is ended up
suggesting is not at all
what the Bible teaches
and isn't really
in keeping with
the Christian faith,
isn't in keeping
with the Bible.
First of all,
people might say,
is there something
in the Greek,
the original language,
which softens
the blow of the text?
In fact,
there isn't anything
in this particular text
that softens it.
Submit is a very,
very good word.
It has a non,
I'll talk about it
in a moment,
it has a military
and a non-military usage.
And I can say
that one of the problems
of Christian interpreters
is that there are
many Christian interpreters
making an opposite error.
There are a minority
in the Christian church
in Canada,
but there are many
Christian interpreters
who interpret
the word submit
in its military context
as if it applies
to wives,
not in its
non-military usage.
So they,
in fact,
create,
I've now offended
a whole pile of
certain type of tradition
by saying that,
but that's,
in fact,
the case.
Why on earth
would you think
that a wife
and a husband
is a military context?
Like,
that doesn't make sense.
Maybe I'll get
some angry emails
over this.
But the more common one
is,
there's no particular
help in the Greek,
the more common things
is to say
that a text like this
is culturally limited.
That it applied
in Colossians,
but it doesn't
necessarily apply today.
And all I would say
is if you take that
as your way
of reading the Bible,
nothing in the Bible,
you might as well
just throw the Bible
right out the window
and out of the garbage.
Why then pick
this particular text?
Why not talk about
Jesus rising from the dead
or him being
the firstborn
of all creation
or the firstborn?
Like,
why pick anything
and say,
okay,
that stuff is universal,
but this is,
like,
there's no reason
to read the text
and say this is
culturally limited.
There's absolutely
no reason to read it.
That's just something
that we throw in.
And some people
will say,
and this is correct,
but they draw
a wrong conclusion
from it.
They will say that,
well,
you have a text
like this
and given the culture
of Rome
at the time
this was written,
this was a very,
very radical text
because in the
household codes,
and this is called
the household code
and the household codes
in the time
that the Bible
was written,
in fact,
the household code
would only talk
to the man.
It wouldn't talk
about children
or slaves
or wives
or anything
like that.
The basically,
would have been
good to be a man
back then,
I'm just joking,
it wouldn't be.
The man was
the dictator.
He was the dictator
of the wife,
the dictator
of the children,
and the dictator
of the slaves,
and they just
had to salute.
And so people
will say,
well,
you know,
it's not a very
good text for today,
but back in its day
it was quite radical.
And then if you
see the trajectory,
but the problem
was with all
trajectory arguments,
that's just another
way of saying
that we don't have
to pay any attention
to the text.
Because even if
it looks good
within that context
back then,
it still sucks today.
And to merely say
that it's pointing
in the direction
of today,
in terms of our
secular wisdom,
then it's not
leaving us very far ahead.
That's been a long
introduction to the text.
So George,
what on earth
is the text saying?
Well,
the text,
all texts in the Bible
are always addressing
part of human experience
and human problems.
If I was
preaching this
in a text,
a country that
had arranged marriages,
it would be speaking
very directly
into that problem,
the problems
that go with
arranged marriages.
If I was speaking
in a culture
where there was
polygamy,
it would speak
very directly
into cultural issues
connected to that.
In our day,
I would say
that in Canada
right now,
and this is
maybe a general
human problem,
but it's a special
problem in Canada,
is that we tend
to think of marriage
in terms of love
and in terms of power
without realizing
that the two,
the way we frame
the discussions
about marriage
in our culture
are fundamentally
contradictory.
Because,
you see,
you can't have
power in love,
at least not
very simply.
Part of what love
means is to surrender
your power.
But if we want
to enter into marriage
as a way to empower us
and maintain our power,
and yet love calls us
to surrender our power,
it means that the very
heart of all modern
advice about marriage
is a fundamental
contradiction.
How is it
that I am to love,
which is what I really
want,
and to be loved,
and have to surrender
my power?
Because that's what
you have to do with love,
isn't it?
It's a type of
self-effacing.
You don't think about
yourself,
you're thinking about
the other.
You're not thinking
about your rights,
you're thinking about
the other.
You're not reveling
in your power.
That's just a type
of abuse.
You're reveling
in this mutual
type of love
and of giving
of yourself,
and that's what
we want,
that's what we desire,
yet at the same time
to do that
always means
giving up power.
And whenever
things start to go
wrong in a marriage,
often what happens
is we don't
think of in Canada
going toward
deeper into love,
we immediately
start to think
about power
and how to
protect ourselves.
So how is it
that this text
might speak wisdom
into the human
problems and the
human experiences
that we have today?
In fact,
I'm going to say
that Christians
should meditate
upon this text,
believe this text,
and it's part of
the oldest
sexual revolution,
the perennial
sexual revolution
that comes from
the Bible,
which is in fact
always wiser
than the culture's
wisdom about
marriage and
about sexuality.
So let's look
at the text again.
Now I'm going to
begin by reading
at verse 17.
I think the text
should be up there
in the Bible.
And this,
by the way,
isn't just an
arbitrary thing,
there's a
grammatic reason.
At the original
language,
there's a
grammatical reason
that verse 17
in fact is
connected
grammatically
and by grammar
with verses
18,
19,
20,
21,
and all the
verses that
follow.
And what I'm
going to suggest
is that if you
understand that
even though like
in my Bible,
and these things
like little headings,
rules for Christian
households,
and all of that
type of stuff,
that's added by
translators to help
you understand it.
But in an odd way,
it actually makes it
harder when you put
something like rules
for Christian households
as if you have
this topic that
ends at verse 17
and now you begin
a completely new
topic.
The way to
understand the text,
I think,
grammatically,
is to understand
that verse 17
is both a text
that's bringing
all of the stuff
that's gone before
into a big
conclusion,
and whatever you
do in word or
deed,
do everything in
the name of
the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to
God the Father
through him.
That's bringing
everything that
went through to
conclusion,
bringing it to
a real sharp
focus,
that once you
commit to
allowing God
to be the one
to grow you
rather than
growing yourself,
that God
has to grow you,
God has to be
the one to fit
you for heaven,
that you set
your mind in
Christ in all
his risen,
sovereign,
Trinitarian glory,
that you put
off pride,
and anger,
and love,
and envy,
and greed,
and gluttony,
and lust.
You put all
those things
off.
You put on
humility,
meekness,
love,
gentleness,
faithfulness,
you put these
things on,
you let Christ,
you give him
permission to
rule in your
heart,
to speak into
your heart,
and then it
comes to this
wonderful phrase,
and whatever you
do in word or
deed,
do everything in
the name of the
Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to
God the Father
through him.
And that's not
just the culmination
of what's gone
before,
it is also the
marching orders
for everything
that goes on
next.
It's the
marching orders
for everything
that goes on
next.
So it's as if
God speaking
through his
word has said,
okay,
George,
whatever you
do in word
or deed,
do everything
in the name
of the Lord
Jesus,
giving thanks
to God
the Father
through him.
Louise,
whatever you
do in word
or deed,
do everything
in the name
of the Lord
Jesus,
giving thanks
to God
the Father
through him.
Owen and
Shannon,
for each of
you,
whatever you
do in word
or deed,
do everything
in the name
of the Lord
Jesus,
giving thanks
to God
the Father
through him.
And we can
go all the
way through
all of the
different married
couples who
are part
of the
congregation.
And that's
the fundamental
marching orders.
The fundamental
marching orders.
And then in
verse 18,
and this
sometimes
troubles people
at the level
of the grammar
of the original
language when it
says wives,
submit to your
husbands as
is fitting to
the Lord.
The way the
word wives
is used is
in the
grammatic
construction,
the original
language.
It implies
they're inferior.
But the
Bible is so
funny.
God is a
trickster.
Because this
could really
bother you.
But then you
read the next
phrase,
husbands,
love your
wives and do
not be harsh
with them.
And at the
level of the
grammar,
husbands are
described in
an inferior
position.
Both of
them described
equally as
inferior positions.
positions.
Why are they
both in
inferior positions?
Because all
the way through
the text,
there's only
one Lord.
If your
quest is for
power,
there's only
one Lord.
And who is it?
It's not the
husband.
It's not the
wife.
It is the
Lord Jesus
Christ.
He's the
only Lord in
the entire
text.
And so
relative to
my wife,
we are both
in inferior
positions relative
to Jesus who
died because
he loved us
so much.
For God so
loved the
world that he
gave his only
begotten son to
the end that
all who believe
in him will
not perish but
have everlasting
life.
So that's the
first thing.
The second
thing in it is
that it says,
is the word,
it's very,
very interesting,
that it says
for wives,
submit to your
husbands as is
fitting to the
Lord.
Husbands,
love your wives
and do not be
harsh with them.
Children,
obey your parents
and everything
for this
pleases the
Lord.
Fathers,
do not provoke
your children
or basically
the word there
is to make
them embittered
or to
discourage
them,
to break
their hearts,
break their
wills.
Given that
parents,
and by the way,
the other thing
which is very
neat here is
that really the
word father
should be
translated as
parents.
There's a bit
of a grammatical
argument for it,
but in fact the
word should be
translated as
mother and
father.
And it's very
interesting that
the contrast is
that one of
the,
and I'll talk
about it more,
I'm not going to
talk about parents
and children very
much in this
sermon because of
the big issue of
husbands and wives,
but children are
given the task or
the quest to
obey,
and parents who
get to in a
sense provide
orders to them
are given the
warning that it's
possible for them
to do this in
such a way that it
breaks their
spirit.
It breaks them.
And we have
seen parents who
are so harsh,
all of us know
parents who are so
harsh with their
children that it's
broken them.
It's broken them.
And this is when it
says don't be harsh,
it's saying children
are to obey, but
gosh, really be
careful with this
because you could
break, you could
break their spirit.
That's not the
right thing.
Now here's the
missing piece in
the text.
In a non-military
sense, in a
military sense, the
word submission would
be very similar to
the word obey.
This is obviously
not in a military
case.
And in a military
case, the
submission means a
voluntary attitude of
giving in, of
cooperating with the
one who's in a
sense in authority.
It's also, it can
be used to carry a
burden.
And some of you
might say, if you
knew my husband, to
submit to him would
be like carrying a
burden.
Sort of an
interesting thing.
But here's the
primary mystery in
the text.
And Andrew, if you
could put up the
first point, that
would be very
handy.
The Lord gives
the wife the
quest to submit
to her husband, but
the husband is not
given the power to
command.
The Lord gives
the husband the
quest to self-eathing
self-effacingly love
his wife.
But the wife is not
given the power to
demand.
I'm going to say it
again.
It's on the screen.
This is part of the
great mystery of the
text.
The Lord gives the
wife the quest, not
the duty, not the
task, not the job,
but the quest.
Why do I say the
quest?
Well, because what
does verse 17 say?
We have this great
quest.
The great quest is
that in verse 17,
whatever I do in
word or deed, do
everything in the
name of the Lord
Jesus, giving thanks
to God the Father
through him.
This is this great
quest.
I'm on this great
quest that I can do
everything in the
name of Jesus so that
he will be seen as
great, that he will
be glorified, that
the world will want
to know him, that
people will want to
praise him.
That's this great
quest, that he will
have the supremacy in
all things.
It's a great quest.
The Lord gives the
wife the quest to
submit to her husband,
but the husband is not
given the power to
command the wife.
In fact, look at the
text very carefully.
First of all, it's
using the word submit,
not obey.
Paul could have used
the word obey if
that's what he meant,
but he doesn't use the
word obey, he uses the
word submit, which is a
voluntary word.
And he uses it, and
you'd think, and I've
used those of you who
have heard me on talk
on related texts like
this, you know, in a
sense, you know, Jenny,
who's the admin person,
you know, in Canadian
law and everything like
that, I can tell her to
do certain things and she
has to do it.
If she stopped doing
things I asked her to do
that were within the
normal legal rights, we
could fire her.
And so, when you see
the language here of the
wife submitting to the
husband, you would
expect then that there
would be some type of
description given to the
husband about how it is
that he can order his
wife or the type of
commands that he could
give her or what's in
bounds and out of bounds.
But in fact, it's not
there.
When it comes time to
speak to the husband,
it's as if God forgets
that he's just given the
wife a task to submit
and God gives a
completely different
command to the husband
and it has nothing to
do with being able to
order his wife.
You see, here's the
problem.
Because this makes no
sense to the world
and we're part of the
world, we add things to
the text about the
husband's ability to make
certain types of orders.
We have books that
describe what he can and
cannot do or what the
wife has to do and
doesn't have to do, but
the text doesn't say any
of these things.
The fact of the matter
is that the Lord gives
the wife the quest to
submit to her husband,
but the husband is not
given the power to
command.
And the Lord gives the
husband the quest to
self-effacingly love his
wife, but the wife is
not given the power to
demand.
And the word here,
which is used for love,
I've tried to give it in
my point as self-
effacingly loving.
So it's not the word
for romance, it's not
the word for eros, in
other words, as long as
the husband gets to just
sexually know his wife
and she has to submit to
him, that's not what the
text is saying.
It's not saying the
husband gets to be all
romantic, but the wife
has to submit.
No, it's not talking about
that at all, but there's
lots of different words
for love in the original
language, well there's
four, and this one here
is very clear, it's the
word agape, and it's a
type of word for
self-effacing love.
In other words, it's the
type of love which is
consumed by thinking
about the other.
Self-effacing means you're
not thinking about
yourself, you're thinking
about the other, and
you're thinking about the
other for their true
good.
Affection can come into
it, emotions might or
might not come into it.
Like a perfect example of
self-effacing love is the
parent who has a baby that
starts waking up and
screaming at three in the
morning, or the toddler
nine months or a year old
and they have to go to
the bathroom or something
like that.
You might feel absolutely
zero affection for your
child at that moment.
In fact, zero might be a
high mark.
Your affectionate feelings
for the child at that
moment are probably
negative.
But you don't say, well,
you know, self-effacing
means you think about the
needs of the child.
I mean, you're also in a
sense thinking about
yourself so you can get
back to sleep, but you're
thinking of the needs of
the child.
You get up and you love
the child, thinking
primarily of them, dealing
with the poopy bum or the
wet diaper or whatever it
is, or the night fears or
tremors or whatever it is.
You self-effacingly love.
And that's what's going on
here in the text.
Remember I said that the
human problem we have is
how do we balance this need
for power and yet at the
same time the need that at
the very heart of all
things there's this aspect
of surrender.
And one of the things that
the Bible does here very,
very wisely is it puts the
same God.
See, the interesting thing
here about this is that the
God who's giving this
command from all eternity,
the Father has loved the
Son.
You're going to get being
bored with me saying these
things.
Of the Son from all
eternity having loved the
Father.
Of the Holy Spirit being the
love that goes from the
Father to the Son as well as
the Holy Spirit being a
person himself.
In a sense, the Son is
perennially submitting to the
Father's will while the
Father is perennially pouring
himself out for his Son and
revealing himself to the Son and
giving of himself to the Son as
the Son gives of himself to the
Father and the Holy Spirit.
It's this constant move of love
and delight and of giving and
that's the story of the whole
universe.
That's what is out of that
being, that triune God that the
universe has come into
existence.
It is for that reality, it is
from that reality that when we
fell, when we chose to think
that we were greater than God,
that we wanted to be the
center, that we wanted to be the
power, we wanted to be the
arbiter of right and wrong, that
the world had to revolve around
ourselves and creation gets
broken when Adam and Eve enters
into this understanding and God
in love sends his Son.
The Son submits to the Father
by saying, yes, I will set aside my
divine prerogatives, I will set
aside my appearance as God, I
will set aside all of those
things out of obedience to you
and out of love for human beings, I
will set all my prerogatives
aside and out of love for human
beings, I will descend into the
womb of the Virgin Mary, the
weakest of the weakest of the
weakest of the weakest to be a
zygote connected to Mary's womb.
I will enter the human race like
that so that I can do that great
act to save them that they cannot
do for themselves.
I will submit to Roman imperial
authority, I will submit to the
authority of my parents only without
sin, I will live a normal lower
working class life only without sin,
I will suffer the trials and
temptations that human beings
suffer only without sin, I will do
it all out of obedience and
submission to my Father and out of
love for human beings, and I will
become even poorer than poor by
taking upon myself all of the
wrongdoing that human beings have
done, I will be their sacrifice for
sin, I will take that upon myself, I
will do that out of submission to my
Father and out of love for human
beings, and I will die the death that
they deserve and that will be their
doom, I will take their doom upon
myself out of submission to my
Father and love for human beings.
And when we put our faith and trust
in Christ, he is doing all of that
so that the end of every single one
of our stories who have put our
faith and trust in Jesus, the end of
our stories, well that we can be in
the presence in the midst of the
Father loving the Son and the Son
loving the Father and the Holy Spirit
is the love itself, we will be in the
very middle of that reality.
And when that day comes, we will say,
my chains are gone, my heart is free.
We will say, free at last, free at last.
Praise God Almighty, I'm free at last.
Because God who designed you and me to
be in the midst of that reality from all
eternity without embarrassment, without
shame, but with great affection and
delight and to be filled by that,
everything that God is doing is to
prepare us for that day.
If you could put up the second point,
Andrew, I'm going to ask you to toggle
back to the first one in a moment.
Together the husband and wife illuminate
how God saves us in Jesus.
Do you notice that?
The Son's submission to the Father,
the Son's love for you and me.
That's part of the great quest for the
husband and the wife is how can I so live
with?
Louise is vastly better than I am.
She's not perfect, just like I'm vastly
more imperfect than her.
Every marriage has to figure out how to
solve and how to survive the sinfulness
of your own heart and the sinfulness of
the other.
And there's this great quest of how can I
so live with Louise and how can she so
live with me?
That how God saves human beings is
illuminated to our children.
To the church and to the world.
It's a great quest.
Now because the wife embarks on this quest
at the command of Jesus, who's given her this
task.
And because the husband embarks on this quest
at the command of Jesus, who gives him this text.
It means, and because the husband isn't given the
power to command his wife and the wife isn't given the
power to demand of her husband.
It means that both the husband and the wife need to
have very serious regular conversations, not only with
each other, but more importantly with Jesus.
And the shape of the other will determine the shape of what that
submission looks like.
And this text nowhere that forbids, I mean, if the husband or the wife
commits adultery, there might be the possibility of the marriage coming to
the end if there's abuse that has to be dealt with.
This text doesn't tell the wife to submit to any type of abuse.
Why?
Remember, she's submitting, but she's doing it for Jesus' sake, to show his
glory and submitting to abuse doesn't illuminate how Jesus came to save us.
He was meek, but not weak.
Meekness requires strength.
People who are weak can't really be gentle.
Those of us who are strong need to learn to be gentle.
And so when you have a very, very, very bad husband, the shape of what that
quest for submission will look like will be very, very, very, very, very
different than a husband who's trying to embody this self-effacing love.
That's why, you see, the text isn't absolute.
I mean, it's absolute on one level, but it's not absolute in terms of what the
other person is like.
This quest of what it would mean to submit and this quest of what it means to
self-effacingly love is going to be shaped by the life of the other.
But it's still the quest that I'm to embark on as a husband.
And those of you who are wives, husbands have the same quest, and those of you who
are wives have the same quest of submission.
The beauty of this text is that it is all part of this wonderful story where the end is that
you embark on this quest, not just by yourself.
That's why verse 17 is so important.
Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
to God the Father through him.
You do it in Jesus, with Jesus, for his glory, within the limits that he is going to set,
not your husband, not your wife, the limits that he will set.
To have this great task of illuminating how God saves us in the person of Jesus, knowing
that when we put ourselves in a posture of attempting to obey this text for the glory of God, that
God in his grace will do this work of transformation in us.
Even if part of what it means to lovingly submit to your husband means to say you have to stop
the abuse.
The text doesn't say you never say that, right?
Because it's voluntary.
It's done in the honor of Christ.
It's done in a way to illuminate Christ.
It's done in keeping with the end of the story.
And it's a posture whereby to the best that you can figure out in this particular mess,
that the way forward in the way of this mess isn't necessarily to cling to your power,
but to cling to Jesus and the task that he's given you within the limits of how your life
is working out, which can be talked about in the context of a congregation committed to
the word, but hopefully wisely, that you put yourself in this position where God's grace
can work.
That's the quest, to put yourself in a position where God's grace can work.
Please stand.
Andrew, could you put up the first slide again for me, please?
The Lord gives the wife the quest to submit to her husband, but the husband is not given
the power to command.
The Lord gives the husband the quest to self-effacingly love his wife, but the wife is not given the
power to demand.
Why is it that God organized it this way rather than another?
I am the vaguest idea in the world.
Nobody does.
But that's how he's put it.
We know he's good and wise.
We know he only loves us.
We know he's preparing us for an eternity with him.
And it is part of this whole mystery, this whole mystery that somehow a husband and wife,
sinners though they are, but under the lordship of Christ, knowing that he is their savior,
that there might be this means by which somehow or another through this living these quests,
that people can look at them and have some sense of what it means that Jesus came to die on the cross to save us.
Let's bow our heads in prayer.
Father, this text goes against the grain for how we normally think.
And Father, we know that you don't deny us means of police or jobs or protections,
and you don't deny us to use those things when they are necessary.
And sometimes in marriages, they really are necessary and need to be taken.
But we give you thanks and praise, Father, that for those of us who are called to the holiest state of matrimony,
that you are the savior and the lord of our marriages, just as you are the savior and the lord of each of our lives.
And we give you thanks and praise that you have given us a quest,
some great task that we can accomplish for your glory,
some great way to illuminate the gospel,
some great way to trust that you are good and that what your word says is good and true,
some great way that we can trust that if we put ourselves in a posture of obedience,
that it is the means by which your grace comes to change and transform us and to fit us for that glorious day
when we will spend all eternity with you and the Son and the Holy Spirit
in the love and delight and affection and beauty and glory
that flows unendingly between the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,
that that is our end, that that is our destiny.
And to have that not just as ourselves, but in the company of others,
all the others from every age and every race and every nation who put their faith and trust in you.
And so, Father, we thank you for this great word of yours,
this great way of live, this great quest for those of us in marriage.
And we ask, Father, that the Holy Spirit would move with might and power and deep conviction in each of our lives,
that we might die to sin and put on virtue,
that we might let Jesus speak deeply into each of our hearts to rule,
that we will do everything in the name of Jesus for the honor and glory of the Father,
and that, Father, for me as a husband, that I will learn more and more how to self-effacingly love my wife,
and for the wives who are here, that they will learn how to submit to their husband as is fitting to the Lord.
Father, we ask for your help, and we give you thanks and praise that you hear and you help.
And all these things we ask in the name of Jesus, your Son and our Savior. Amen.