WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.719 Okay, so tonight's topic is a man is responsible. 00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:06.799 ! A man is responsible. 00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:14.160 ! We've been going through what is a man, uh, is the name of the nine weeks of teachings, 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:20.879 ! And tonight I'm teaching about how a man is, that's the question, what is a man? 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:27.039 This is honing out on the specific aspect of what a man is, and the topic is that a man is responsible. 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:30.160 Okay, so I've got a couple of definitions as we start. 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:35.840 The Merriam-Webster definition, that you all can look up pretty fast, 00:00:36.879 --> 00:00:45.280 for responsibility or responsible is described as liable to be called on to answer, liable to be 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:54.640 called on to account as the primary cause, motive or agent, being worthy of credit or blame. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:01:01.520 Okay, that's the responsibility, the definition that we have in our dictionaries of responsibility. 00:01:02.160 --> 00:01:11.760 And a man is responsible. Doug Wilson's definition of masculinity is the glad assumption of sacrificial 00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:18.079 responsibility. I think that's such an awesome definition of what a man is, masculinity. The 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:25.039 glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility. And a lot of times we go through life hearing a phrase. 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:32.959 Most of the time, I think when something goes wrong is, who's responsible for this? You know, 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:37.039 a lot of times if something goes right, you might not hear that unless it's like 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:44.079 something worthy of praise. You know, who did this? You know, who made this? Who created this? You know, 00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:51.920 I was thinking about this topic and I was just thinking about how the twin towers, when they were 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:56.959 standing in World Trade Centers, it was a pretty big feat to build, right? You might ask the question, 00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:03.359 you know, who was behind the construction? But post-2001, you could ask the same question, 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:09.439 who's responsible for this? The destruction, okay? We go through life and we live in the light 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:21.199 of responsibility. And tonight I'm going to speak about how men bear an inert, God-bestowed attribute, 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:31.039 which is responsibility, okay? And so to start with God, you know, we're Christians here at Christ 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:38.159 Church. We believe that not only does God call men who they are, but God gives men what they are, 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:45.680 makes them what they are. And responsibility is an extension that God bestowed on man. So God calls 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:54.879 men to responsibility and to action. In the Bible we see that sin came into the world through one man, 00:02:54.879 --> 00:03:03.280 Romans 5, 12 says. In Genesis 3, 9, the Lord says, but the Lord called to the man and said to him, 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:10.400 where are you? This is post-sin entering the world. God calls to the man and he says, where are you? 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:18.400 You can kind of feel that, you know, Merriam-Webster liable to be called on to answer. The Lord calls him, 00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:25.680 where are you, man? Where are you, Adam? We see this in other places. God says to Job, 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:32.719 Job, dress for action like a man. He calls Job up, not just calls him up for responsibility, 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:37.840 but he actually says in calling him that he's supposed to be like a man. He says, dress yourself. 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:45.280 Jesus says to his disciples, stay dressed for action. Kind of a masculine attribute right there. 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:54.159 Peter says to the church in 1 Peter 1, 13, he says, therefore, preparing your minds for action. 00:03:54.800 --> 00:04:00.319 Okay. Same line of thought. And then Paul in 1 Corinthians 16 says, act like men. So we have a 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:08.000 biblical witness of both responsibility and of action. And when we're thinking about this topic, 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:14.159 it's good to think about it as distinctly masculine. Okay. God bestows on men a unique 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:24.399 bringing to bear of responsibility. And so when we think about responsibility and even its definition, 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:31.600 whether you're credit or blame, right there, you think most of the time, who's to blame? Whose fault is it? 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:41.760 Right. And I think this probably characterizes men the most in light of sin entering the world is we like to blame other people for our sin. 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:51.520 Okay. We like to find a way out of bearing responsibility. Okay. This is, this is not masculine to do that. 00:04:52.240 --> 00:05:00.800 This is abdicating our role as men when we do that. Blame shifting, making excuses, all these things are 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:09.520 not masculine at all. Yet the world participates in this, uh, abdication, this avoidance of responsibility 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:16.879 from, from the smallest little things to the largest, you know, we see nations, you know, on the macro 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:25.040 blaming other nations and we see, you know, each other day to day in our workplace, uh, blaming one another 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:33.360 on an individual level. Okay. It's responsibility is inescapable. Okay. And as we, uh, walk through 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:40.320 what I want to talk about in light of a man being responsible, I like to fit, I like to think about, 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:50.879 um, our own lives. Where do we believe that God speaks to us to call us up, or maybe even specifically, 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:57.920 as God did to Adam in the garden, where is God saying to us, where are you? Where are you being 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:04.319 called? So to speak, if there was a survey of your life to take up responsibility where you're not, 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:11.439 whether it be in passivity or ignorance. Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to be responsible or 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:19.120 in rebellion, whether you're blaming intentionally or making excuses intentionally. I like for us to 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:25.040 think, um, you know, not of the guy next to us, not of someone who's not here, but ask ourselves in 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:37.680 honesty, uh, do I, is the Lord speaking to me? Basically. So, moving through here, uh, we see in Genesis 12 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:46.639 that Adam, the, uh, kind of archetype of humanity, uh, after sin, uh, does not take responsibility. 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:55.360 He blames. And who does he blame? He blames, as far as I can tell, uh, three persons. In Genesis 3.12, 00:06:55.360 --> 00:07:02.399 it says, the man said, the woman whom you gave to be with me gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate. 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:09.279 Okay? So, number one, he blames Eve. He blames his wife. He says, it's the woman. That's her fault. 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:18.479 Uh, she gave me the fruit. But in the same phrase, it's not only the woman, uh, it's also God. He, 00:07:18.479 --> 00:07:24.639 he does a double blame in one phrase. He says, it's the woman whom you gave. God, you gave me the woman. 00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:32.719 You should know that I would be tempted in this way. And, uh, and God obviously didn't appreciate that. 00:07:32.719 --> 00:07:41.279 Um, so, Adam blames the woman and he blames God. And then the woman, what does she do? Is she going 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:47.360 to take up responsibility? Uh, does she have a good example of a husband of taking up responsibility? No. 00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:54.800 She doesn't follow after him. What does she do? Well, seeing as she was just blamed and God was 00:07:54.800 --> 00:08:00.400 blamed, she says, it was the serpent. It was, it was the serpent that deceived me. It wasn't me. 00:08:00.400 --> 00:08:07.360 I didn't fall prey. Come on, God, don't you know who we are? We're only perfect human beings until now. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:18.160 So, there's this, there's a cycle of blame. There's this progression of blame. And, uh, God does not 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:27.520 leave them in their blaming and just say, yeah, it's human nature. People are going to blame. Maybe 00:08:27.520 --> 00:08:33.680 like we normally do with one another. God confronts them in their, in their blaming and in their sin. 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:38.639 And he calls them out. He says, what, what, what is this thing that you've done? Have you eaten of the 00:08:38.639 --> 00:08:44.879 tree that I told you not to eat of? You know, they were both naked in the garden. They were ashamed. 00:08:45.599 --> 00:08:51.359 And then God asks them, who told you that you were naked? Did you do the thing I told you not to do? 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:59.039 He calls them to account and he calls man first. He says, Adam, where are you? So, God confronts us in 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:07.919 our, in our sin, in our shame, and ultimately in our hiding. Um, the truth is fault, fault knows no gender. 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:15.759 Men, men and women have an equal capacity to be at fault, but God holds them both, uh, responsible. 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:21.839 But he seems in the scripture through a straight line to hold men more responsible. So, every single 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:27.680 human being is responsible for their own actions. But the Bible is clear that men are ultimately 00:09:27.680 --> 00:09:34.960 responsible. So, if, if you are married, you're a husband, you have a wife, and she runs amok in the 00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:41.280 home, runs amok in her workplace if she's working, and you happen to hear about it, you don't say, 00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:52.240 that's just my wife, she needs to figure that out. No, uh, she is your wife. She's your wife. She's not 00:09:52.240 --> 00:10:00.399 her own entity. The Bible says that when you get married, you're one flesh, okay? And the, that the 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:06.639 head of every woman, or every wife is her husband, the scripture says. So, when, when we just have this, 00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:14.080 this position towards our wives that says, that's their deal, uh, that's their sin, uh, as if they 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:20.879 need to get themselves straight, that is advocating our role and responsibility as husbands, okay? 00:10:21.519 --> 00:10:28.399 This also applies if you're single. This isn't the get out of jail free card. Um, single people blame 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:35.120 other people all the time, right? You guys probably have think people in your mind, um, that maybe you 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:42.320 blame today, or maybe you had a hard day at work, and, uh, I would venture to guess that you didn't say 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:50.560 it was hard because, uh, you know, I'm, I have failures, you know? It was probably hard because 00:10:50.560 --> 00:10:57.759 this guy did this, and, uh, my boss is this way, whatever it is, right? You want to blame, 00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:03.600 you want to avoid responsibility, but whether we're married or single, it doesn't matter, we're men. 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:07.600 We take responsibility for our own actions. 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:20.560 So, how do we evade this responsibility? Oftentimes, the classic example is, you walk into a room, 00:11:20.560 --> 00:11:25.600 you stub your toe, you want to blame the person who put whatever the thing is that you stubbed your toe on, 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:33.600 right? That's, that's, that's the classic example. That's really shallow, but, you know, how embedded is it for us to blame, uh, 00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:41.360 uh, something other than ourselves? What do we do? We procrastinate, we procrastinate. How many projects have been just undone, 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:52.000 laid waste? How many degrees have not been attained? How many jobs have been abandoned? Uh, because, simply, we just avoid doing the thing we ought to do. 00:11:52.000 --> 00:12:02.320 We do this, uh, we avoid responsibility for multiple reasons. Because we're running, because we're afraid, 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:11.840 because oftentimes at the root is, uh, a lack of courage to face the problems of life. Okay, what are you running from? 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:18.560 Or is there an area, maybe, maybe not many things, maybe, maybe you think, I'm actually not running for much. 00:12:19.280 --> 00:12:25.840 But, like I said in the beginning, what is the thing that God wants to speak to you and, and say, 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:29.440 where are you in this area? Where are you running from? 00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:33.200 You guys can probe yourselves and ask, where am I hiding? 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:37.440 Where am I self-absorbed? Where am I blind to? Am I hiding? 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:45.280 Where am I trying to preserve myself? Or, where am I trying to save face? Whether with my friends, or my 00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:53.200 family, or my boss. This can show that we're actually avoiding the responsibility on our lives. 00:12:54.320 --> 00:13:00.400 Where am I too dependent? This is a big one. And honestly, if you're single, it's even, 00:13:00.959 --> 00:13:07.360 even more of a turnoff if you're seeking a wife, or wanting to pursue a woman. If you're dependent upon 00:13:08.319 --> 00:13:16.959 women or other men, ultimately women and other men resent that dependence. They have no respect 00:13:16.959 --> 00:13:22.879 for a fully grown, able-bodied man, uh, whom they have to support because they aren't willing to take 00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:31.600 action and responsibility. And that's the truth, right? Um, but it paints an image of a certain man, 00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:39.519 sometimes, heads close to home. This is a type of adultal lessons, so to speak. A Peter Pan 00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:48.159 syndrome. Uh, always seeking for, uh, never, never land, wanting to get back to the, uh, state of just 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:54.959 enjoying thyself. You know, can't wait to get off work till I can just turn on the system. Uh, 00:13:54.959 --> 00:14:05.120 this is adultal lessons, as the term goes. And, um, we need to watch out for that. And so, um, I've got 00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:13.439 three, uh, three types of men I would like to talk to you guys about. And as I pose the question in the 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:19.200 beginning, I'll pose another one. I'm going to dive into three types of men. I would just like you to 00:14:19.200 --> 00:14:27.200 examine yourselves and ask, where do I fit in? Okay, this talk is not meant to, uh, condemn or to, uh, 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:38.560 say, uh, you guys suck or whatever, right? I hope that it illuminates our need for God and the gospel 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:44.559 and the fact that we actually need to be men in the areas that we are not. Okay. So there's three 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:54.719 types of men. First one, uh, is what's called the worthless boy man. Uh, the, the worthless boy 00:14:54.719 --> 00:15:00.879 man is the man who doesn't take responsibility or action. He just doesn't, right? He, he's worthless 00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:07.039 because the Bible has something to say about worthless men. And first Samuel 2, uh, 12, verse 12, 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:11.679 it says the sons of Eli were worthless men because they did not know the Lord. If you want to take 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:18.480 that verse at face value, if you do not know the Lord, uh, maybe if you're, if you're not a Christian, 00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:26.079 the Bible says there's a worthlessness about you. It's heavy, uh, but we need to take heed. If we're 00:15:26.079 --> 00:15:33.759 men, we want to be, uh, men of worth, not worthless. The worthless boy man is passive and inactive 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:43.120 and lazy. Um, he's, he's like Adam in the garden. Uh, the scripture says who was with her when all this 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:50.000 is going down. He's lazy. He's passive. He watches his wife sin and he watches the human race crumble 00:15:50.000 --> 00:16:00.000 before his eyes, uh, because he shrinks back or doesn't care. This is not a man. This is a boy man who 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:09.360 hasn't grown into a man. Genesis 317 says, God says, because you listen to the voice of your wife. 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:17.120 He, he, the, the boy blames, the boy shirks off responsibility and says, um, you know, I'm just 00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:20.399 going to not take responsibility. I'm just going to do what everyone else says. I'm going to listen 00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:26.399 to whatever the, uh, advice is at hand because I don't want to bear it myself. 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:35.039 He's irresponsible, not able to respond. He's avoidant. He makes excuses. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:41.039 Like I said earlier, he, he hides. He doesn't run to the fight. He runs away from the fight. He, 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:47.120 he tries to self-preserve and he's self-absorbed. He's dependent on other men and women often. 00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:57.440 He's a, he's a cultural substitute oftentimes. This is the, uh, the man cave couch potato. 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:05.599 This is the, the, the gamer and the playboy and the gangster and the partier. Um, all these things 00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:12.240 are facades for an empty running from actual biblical manhood. 00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:22.160 That's a worthless boy man. Where are we in our assessment of ourselves? Are we high-minded? 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:30.079 Or do we think of ourselves as worth more than we ought? Maybe we should, uh, come to the Lord to be humbled. 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:36.960 Number two, a grown-up complacent man. 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:45.039 Which, this is a, uh, slight improvement from the, uh, worthless boy man, uh, because he's grown up. 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:51.519 But as you can tell, he's complacent. What do I mean by that? He, he manages responsibilities, 00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:57.920 his own responsibilities in his life. Maybe he's a good worker, goes to work, he provides, he pays his bills. 00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.519 But that's all he does. And no more. 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:10.640 This guy seems better than the worthless boy man, but he still lacks embracing manhood. He has the heart 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:17.039 to go to the game, but only to be a bench warmer. Maybe he'll get on the field, but he's the first 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:24.000 to have a guy sub him out. He's not really in the arena. He's only there to make a showing and then 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:31.759 forfeit when things become too much. This guy can fly under the radar. And, uh, it appears to be, 00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:37.839 he appears to be good on the outside, but really he's in it for his own appetites and his own desires. 00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:45.599 Those are the things that guides him. His appetites and desires. Mainly, I think, uh, pleasing people 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:52.079 is largely the characteristic of this man. Is, uh, just making sure everyone thinks he's all right. 00:18:52.079 --> 00:19:02.159 And so he can live his own life. He feels a sense of security because he's not other men. 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:08.480 He feels a sense of security because he's not the worthless boy man. He's, he's a little bit better. 00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:15.359 He's outside the category. This, the, the grown-up complacent man is self-righteous. 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:23.039 He's not self-aware. He doesn't know his own failures. He doesn't know his own faults. He's 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:32.639 essentially self-deceived. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, when I was a child, I spoke like one. I spoke like a child. 00:19:33.919 --> 00:19:37.439 But when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:45.120 When you become a man, you think, you speak, and you act. You don't just do the bare minimum. 00:19:45.120 --> 00:19:51.680 You think, how would a man, uh, act? And you do more than what's required of you. This has characterized 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:57.680 every single good man throughout history. Not the man who just goes to work and pays the bills. And not 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:03.680 that those things are better at all. I think that they're perfectly good and right. But if, if the 00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:10.560 mentality behind all those things is, I'm a good person because I meet the standards, or I meet the 00:20:10.560 --> 00:20:16.880 minimum, we could be in danger of other, uh, false forms of masculinity. 00:20:20.320 --> 00:20:30.720 So the grown-up complacent man does not, uh, seek to be more than his, uh, more than his strengths. 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:38.960 He avoids his weaknesses. He, uh, doesn't like to be found out as wrong. He doesn't ultimately like 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:44.480 reconciliation. He doesn't like to ask for forgiveness because that exposes actually that 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:52.960 he needs forgiveness. And, uh, therefore reconciliation is always hard. He doesn't, he doesn't actually 00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:59.680 handle it very well. There's not full reconciliation. There's a quick apology and then back to my routine. 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:09.120 Um, he's not reliable. He's flaky. He doesn't keep his commitments. He's unfaithful. He's not open or 00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:19.120 vulnerable. He's guarded. And, uh, this guy is really hard to be around. Um, there's, there's different 00:21:19.120 --> 00:21:27.680 traits that, uh, you might not notice that find themselves in this man. But we all experience a sore loser, 00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:35.039 whether in, uh, you know, athletics or video games, but the guy who constantly is a sore loser and says, 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:40.880 you know, it wasn't my fault or this happened or that he blames, you know, uh, he's trying to protect 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:50.560 himself. Uh, or the guy who, uh, apologizes too much. Um, I actually used to beat this guy. I, uh, would, 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:57.200 um, whenever I would fail, basically it'd be an opportunity for me to confront myself. 00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:04.960 And in order for me to protect myself from the pain of defeat, what I would do is I would try and make 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:12.160 sure that everybody knew the way that I failed and that I was honest about it. Uh, so that I could 00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:20.080 protect myself from the person thinking or from you guys thinking that I was less than I was. Uh, 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:25.279 if I would make sure everyone knew I was a failure, then maybe they would say at least he's honest. At 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:30.879 least he's an honest person. Okay. Uh, it's, it's a weird way to kind of boast about it, but it's a type 00:22:30.879 --> 00:22:39.119 of protecting yourself from the pain of defeat. But that person really never can be taught, uh, to overcome 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:46.399 his failures because he's too consumed with protecting himself and buys into the lie that he can control what 00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:54.720 other people think about. Okay. Um, this is an area of insecurity, um, that tries to control. 00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:02.800 He hides behind an overemphasis on what is good while neglecting the rest of what it means to be a man. 00:23:02.800 --> 00:23:10.960 He's hesitant, not confident, self-righteous, like I said. And, uh, ultimately we need to know 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:18.640 the areas that we are being this man. Where are we self-righteous? Where do you pride yourself? 00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:25.600 Okay. Um, do you ever see somebody fail and you don't say it out loud, but you think it in your mind, 00:23:25.600 --> 00:23:33.440 like at least I'm not that guy. At least, at least I'm not, uh, doing those same things. Right. Watch 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:39.440 yourself. Okay. Watch yourself that you're not elevating yourself thinking that you could be that guy at 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:47.600 some time. Okay. I remember doing this on probably more occasions than I think I can count, but I 00:23:47.600 --> 00:23:51.680 remember thinking like, man, that sucks to be that guy. And then the next week I did the same thing. 00:23:53.279 --> 00:24:00.240 That guy, that guy was me. I was confronted and we have an example in scripture of this 00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:08.880 and second Samuel 12, uh, King David, awesome figure, uh, probably a pretty good example of what a man is 00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:17.040 in many respects, some respects not. Uh, second Samuel 12 says, this is after David had committed adultery. 00:24:17.040 --> 00:24:24.320 He slept with Bathsheba and proceeded to murder, uh, Bathsheba's husband Uriah, 00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:30.720 and then lie about it. So there's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Uh, sin after sin, 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:37.120 avoidance of responsibility. And this is the thing that actually brings him back. Nathan, the prophet is, 00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:44.479 God sends a prophet to, uh, King David, uh, and he describes to him a story about a rich man who had 00:24:44.479 --> 00:24:51.279 a bunch of cattle and then a poor man who only had one little lamb, but this lamb was so precious to 00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:59.599 him. It's like his own child. And in the story, basically the rich man, uh, demanded to have, 00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:06.799 uh, this man's lamb to give to someone else and to sell to someone else when he could have given out of 00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:13.199 his abundance. And David was furious. He said, he says, who is this man? He says, judgment should be on 00:25:13.199 --> 00:25:21.119 this man fourfold. Who is this man? And Nathan, the prophet says, you are the man, David. You're the man. 00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:27.599 Obviously not, uh, in reference to his cattle, right? But he, he, he was prophetically saying, 00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:33.359 David, you're the guy. You slept with Bathsheba and committed adultery. You proceeded to lie about 00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:40.639 it. And it's led to the murder of Uriah under your watch and responsibility intentionally. But he gets 00:25:40.639 --> 00:25:47.839 confronted. He says, you're the man. Where, where are we? Are we open to the Lord saying to us, 00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:55.759 you're the guy in this way? Are we closed? Are we prideful against God himself? Okay. 00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:04.319 Ultimately, this is, uh, this is the thing that we want to take note of is how have we fallen short? 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:05.199 How have we sinned? 00:26:08.159 --> 00:26:15.039 So the complacent grownup man is the man who looks good on the outside, possibly more honestly dangerous 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:21.200 than the worthless boy, man, because he could go his whole life thinking he's something, uh, when he's 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:28.960 not. Uh, he says he has selfish limits. He says this far, I'll go this far, but no further. 00:26:30.879 --> 00:26:36.559 Everybody knows that true friendship. If you ever had a really good friend, uh, 00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:43.440 uh, doesn't have selfish limits, right? True friendship, uh, is someone you can call at any 00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:48.480 time, right? You can wake up up in the middle of the night and they'll pick up, right? There's no 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:56.799 selfish limits there. That's, that's true brotherhood. And, uh, do, do we, uh, are we that kind of friend 00:26:56.799 --> 00:27:05.919 to somebody basically? Do we, do we have a, uh, a, uh, terrible circumstance, uh, that could be reversed 00:27:05.919 --> 00:27:14.079 simply by going beyond the selfish limits? I remember, um, actually recently Judah, my brother-in-law, 00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:22.879 came over. I had a, uh, sewer backup on our rental property and, uh, it was terrible. It was the, 00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:29.040 uh, it was a bad night, but, um, I needed some stuff from Home Depot and I called him like, 00:27:29.040 --> 00:27:34.560 hey, would you be willing to just like grab some BBC for me and jump it off? And he's the, 00:27:35.120 --> 00:27:38.720 I'm like, is that too much? Are you doing anything tonight? And he's like, I'm not doing anything. 00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:44.640 He's like, I'm going to come up, you do this. And I'm like, yes, that's great. Yeah. And it was, 00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:51.280 the circumstances didn't really change very much, but what changed, but what changed about it is, 00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:57.440 is my brother was with me, right? Uh, and we saw it through and what could have been a terrible 00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:04.160 night by myself was not anymore. He was with me. Okay. What, what is that? What is that thing right 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:10.639 there? That's responsibility. That's you saying I'm responsible for my brothers. Okay. Are you like 00:28:10.639 --> 00:28:16.639 that to somebody? You got friends like that? Be that guy. Don't be the grownup, complacent man who says 00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:25.360 that's their deal. They'll take care of it. You guys know how that is to be left alone. Don't be 00:28:25.360 --> 00:28:31.200 that guy. Okay. There's, there's, there's plenty of men like that and the world is worse for it. Okay. 00:28:32.560 --> 00:28:38.640 Do you have the mentality for others? Are your relationships just cordial and a facade? 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:47.120 Do you just want to hang out and keep everything light? All to realize maybe later that one of your best 00:28:47.120 --> 00:28:52.400 friends is actually having insane marriage trouble? You're on the brink of divorce where you find out 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:57.360 that they have longstanding health problems you didn't know about just because you don't want the 00:28:57.360 --> 00:29:05.360 pride. You don't want to consume responsibility for the man next to you. Don't be that person. 00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:14.959 Responsibility comes with facing your fears. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of 00:29:16.959 --> 00:29:21.919 people finding out who you really are? Are you afraid of dealing with somebody who's struggling 00:29:21.919 --> 00:29:25.679 because you don't know what to say to them? A lot of times you don't even have to do much. You just have 00:29:25.679 --> 00:29:33.439 to be there and just say something simple like you're there for them. Okay. That's the grownup, 00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:45.680 complacent, complacent man. Okay. Man number three. The mature man. This is the man you want to be like. 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:55.920 The mature man is a man who increases responsibility and action. Okay. Unlike the last two men, 00:29:55.920 --> 00:30:02.800 it's the man who says, how can I gain more responsibility? How can I take more on myself 00:30:03.600 --> 00:30:10.800 so that others do not have to bear it? This is really seen very brightly in marriage. How can I 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:22.480 make my wife have an easy in road to living and raising my kids and keeping my home so that she, 00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:28.319 that's what I don't, I don't come home and just offload onto her realizing that she has her own 00:30:28.319 --> 00:30:36.960 weights. Okay. Increasing responsibility. Not just increasing responsibility, but takes action. Okay. 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:44.559 He's not passive. He's not one to make excuses. He owns his mistakes. He says, yes, that's me. I did that. 00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:52.000 That's mine. My bad. I was wrong. You know, God forbid we ever say out of our own lips that 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:58.079 we were wrong. I don't think you'll find any reel from any debate online where someone says, you know 00:30:58.079 --> 00:31:05.279 what? I'm wrong. I was wrong. You know what that is? That's the spirit of the age. Giving in to avoidance 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:11.919 and abdication of responsibility. What do you guys do? Are you just like the reels? Or do you say, 00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:18.640 by God's grace, I don't have to identify, my identity isn't bound up in being right? 00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:27.200 It's bound up in Christ. And so, yeah, I was wrong. I didn't know that. But you know what? You're right. 00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:34.240 I see that. Okay. That's a mature man right there. He increases his responsibility and he takes action, 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:39.519 meaning he makes it right. If he sins and if he's done wrong, he makes it right. 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:47.440 Okay. Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL, calls this extreme ownership. It's the title of this book. 00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:54.000 But the phrase is really enlightening in the sense where if you're a man, don't just take ownership 00:31:54.000 --> 00:32:00.240 of the things in your purview. Seek to take extreme ownership, things outside of your purview, 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:11.759 things in your friends, things in others, you know. Don't just seek to be a family man. Well, that's good. 00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:20.000 Be a churchman. Seek to be others oriented. Don't be self-absorbed, right? That's a mature man, 00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:28.400 a man who takes extreme ownership. Suffocate your excuses. Love that phrase. I think we could reinterpret, 00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:35.840 or maybe dive into the scripture and see in Romans 13, 14, which says, put on the Lord Jesus Christ and 00:32:35.840 --> 00:32:42.720 make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires. In other words, suffocate that flesh that 00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:49.920 says, I want to be right. I can't be wrong. I want to do what I want to do. And it doesn't matter. 00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:58.480 Suffocate that. Put it to death. There's no man that is worth respecting that says, I'll live in 00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:06.320 proximity to my excuses and keep them alive. They have to die. You got to suffocate them. Okay? 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:14.720 The mature man is responsible. Having the ability to respond quickly. He takes courage and risks. Not 00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:22.400 because he's not afraid, but because he knows the truth about what he's facing. He knows that courage 00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:30.240 is of necessity. It's not an option to be afraid. Always ready to take action with no hesitation. He 00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:36.480 runs to, not from. Specifically running towards what the flesh wants to avoid. So in other words, 00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:41.279 if you know, actually the Bible says, if you know the right thing you should do and you don't, 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:47.119 in the book of James it says you've sinned. Okay? So if we know what we ought to do, 00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:53.119 and we don't do it, we sin. But if it's posed before us, whether we should do it or not, 00:33:54.799 --> 00:34:01.200 the mature man says, in the face of wanting to do, wanting to obey my flesh, I will not obey it. 00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:10.559 I will not obey it. It's a warlike mentality. Okay? Men were created to have a disposition of war towards 00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:19.679 his own fleshly selfishness so that it could finally reach its end in death. He tries new things. Okay? 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:26.720 He gets out of his comfort zone. That doesn't mean that he doesn't get uncomfortable. 00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:33.359 I used to think that all the most confident, mature guys I knew were just like really comfortable with 00:34:33.359 --> 00:34:39.839 anything. And then I found out they weren't. They were just pressing themselves to be a mature man 00:34:40.399 --> 00:34:46.319 and not pride themselves in what they were good at, but trying new things so that they were always 00:34:46.319 --> 00:34:52.159 growing. They knew that their weaknesses didn't define them, so they failed. You know? Don't be too 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:56.559 comfortable. Some of us are just way too comfortable. I think that's part of the reason why, 00:34:56.559 --> 00:35:02.239 no one gets married as much anymore. No one talks to women. It's because there's this uncomfortability 00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:09.199 that cannot be pushed past. You have to push past it. It doesn't mean that you're not going to feel 00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:14.400 uncomfortable. You probably will. But isn't that courage? You know, going into battle? I mean, 00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:20.400 how many movies, you know, do we see? It's like, are you afraid? Like, yeah, I'm afraid. Let's go. 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:26.800 You know? Forget about that fear. Forget about the uncomfortability. Go for it. You're going to fail, 00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:31.440 but you don't find identity in failing. A mature man finds identity ultimately in Christ. 00:35:32.720 --> 00:35:39.360 He looks to Jesus as the one who gives him approval, gives him identity. He knows he's weak, 00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:46.960 and he's perfectly okay with that. The mature man, this guy is always asking how we can create 00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:53.920 value for others, how we can make things better and not waste what he's been given. What have you 00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:57.920 guys been given? You live in America, you've been given far more than you probably ever think. 00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:05.519 Some of you don't believe that because of a host of things, the way you were raised, the job you have, 00:36:05.519 --> 00:36:12.639 whatever. But the truth is, God has put breath in your lungs, and all things considered, your life 00:36:12.639 --> 00:36:18.480 probably isn't that bad. Okay? I'm not making light of terrible things, or even being raised, 00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:28.800 handicapped in different ways. But a mature man is not an orphan, in the sense that he gives way to 00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:36.160 what he does not have. His victimhood, so to speak. But he says, I can overcome, 00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:43.360 and I can take responsibility for myself. I'm not going to blame other people for the way that I am. 00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:46.080 That's what a mature man does. 00:36:46.079 --> 00:37:02.000 So, which guy are you? I feel like I can find myself, if I'm honest, in each one of these categories, 00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:08.799 maybe far less at times than the mature man, of course. But if you're not the mature man, 00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:16.800 which I would mention to say that most of us aren't in different aspects, then how do we become one, 00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:25.200 is the question. How do you stop finding identity and security and being good, or good at things? 00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:31.519 How do you stop the self-hatred, or the exhausting your energy to protect yourself? How do you do that? 00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:37.199 Okay, well, I'm here to tell you that if you go to the world to do that, you're just going to find more reels. 00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:46.159 Worthless reels. I'm not saying they all have no value. Actually, I take it back. There are some really good reels. 00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:54.960 But ultimately, I'm giving you guys a layup to Christ and the gospel. 00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:55.679 Okay? 00:37:57.519 --> 00:38:04.000 Even the best advice, you know, the Jordan Petersons out there, the motivational speakers, Jocko, 00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:11.840 all these guys, they have good things, but I believe that all the good that you get from them are a mirror, 00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:18.000 an extension, really from God, to be the man he's calling you to be. 00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:22.960 Okay? And so, how do we become the mature man? That's the question. 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:25.360 Well, I've got good news. 00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:36.639 It starts first, not by white knuckling, picking yourself up by your bootstraps, 00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:45.599 not necessarily by taking responsibility for yourself, but first, by beginning to understand that 00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:52.639 somebody has taken responsibility for you. You have to start there. What do I mean by that? 00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:59.519 God, through Jesus Christ, has assumed utter responsibility for his children. 00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:07.679 Okay? He's come into this mess of this world that we abdicated. We said, this is not our fault. 00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:14.320 Okay? Just as Adam and Eve did in the garden. He's come into his world that he created of his own volition. 00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:20.320 And what did he do? He took responsibility for the ones he created. How? By dying on a cross. 00:39:21.680 --> 00:39:29.360 By dying and the blame that we spat out onto him, he fully took on himself. 00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:36.480 Okay? You have to understand this. You will never be the mature man. You will never be the mature man 00:39:37.200 --> 00:39:44.000 if you don't come to Christ. I hope everyone walks away hearing that. If you don't come to Christ, 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:49.840 you will be continuing to fight the insecurity that dwells within your heart that you can never change. 00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:54.960 Okay? God, through Jesus Christ, has assumed responsibility for his children. 00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:58.559 2 Corinthians 8, verse 9 says, 00:39:58.559 --> 00:40:03.680 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, 00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:10.400 yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. 00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:15.920 Which? Awesome verse. And then I think maybe my most favorite verse in all of the New Testament. 00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:21.680 2 Corinthians 5, verse 21. Think about yourselves now. Question I pose. 00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:29.519 2 Corinthians 5, verse 21. For our sake he made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:37.440 so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. So let me break this down. God made Jesus sin. 00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:45.840 Only in one sense did he make Jesus sin. God treated Jesus as if he committed every sin 00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:50.480 by any person who would ever believe, although in fact he committed none of them. 00:40:51.920 --> 00:41:01.519 All your blame, all your excuse making, God laid onto Jesus, not as a wrong punishing of Jesus. Jesus 00:41:01.519 --> 00:41:10.639 went willingly to take that on. Okay? God punished Jesus for my sin as if he lived the life I lived. 00:41:11.759 --> 00:41:18.159 Okay? Your sinful life. Not only that, but now God treats you as if you lived Jesus life, 00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:27.519 although you in fact did not. Jesus never once sinned. He was perfect without sin. He was a spotless lamb. 00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:34.719 And he bids everyone welcome to lay down their sins before him and take up his life. 00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:42.000 That is what a mature man does. That is how you become a mature man. That is the first and crucial step 00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:43.519 to becoming a mature man. 00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:51.039 Brendan Manning has a quote. I'm going to read a verse in close. 00:41:51.039 --> 00:41:55.920 And I just want you to think about yourself right now. He says, 00:41:58.159 --> 00:42:03.199 There is one God of the Christian vision, the God revealed by him in Jesus Christ, 00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:11.599 who this moment walks directly to your seat, looks you straight in the eye, and says, 00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:13.360 I have a word for you. 00:42:16.159 --> 00:42:21.360 I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:29.360 I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty, and degraded love that has darkened your past. 00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:37.680 Right now I know your shallow faith and your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. 00:42:40.559 --> 00:42:44.240 Nothing is hidden from my eyes. And my word is this, 00:42:44.640 --> 00:42:52.000 I dare you to trust that I love you as you are and not as you should be, 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:55.440 because you will never be as you should be. 00:42:57.519 --> 00:42:58.960 I close with Romans 5. 00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:01.360 Romans 5-6 00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:06.000 For while we were still weak at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. 00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:09.360 For one will scarcely die for the righteous person, 00:43:10.239 --> 00:43:14.000 though perhaps for a good person one would even dare to die. 00:43:14.719 --> 00:43:21.039 But God shows his love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.