I know that I'm visually challenged.
So if you're trying to wave at me and get my attention,
and I don't seem to be paying any attention,
you might want to try harder or give up.
Whatever you think best.
Ah, thank you, Eli.
Yes, I think we're good.
And, yeah, I guess we can leave that right there.
Good.
Well, I'm going to start off this morning with a little story about a family.
The main characters are a brother and a sister.
And I'm, true story, but I'm going to give fictitious names, John and Rachel.
And here is John's account.
I called home to see how my father was doing as he recovered from his heart attack.
But what I found out is that my mother was now in the hospital.
At first, they wouldn't tell me what was wrong.
But finally, my sister Rachel let it out that Mom was in the psychiatric unit
after taking an overdose of drugs.
Rachel said to me, we don't call you anymore.
We don't tell you because you don't care about the family.
You're too good for us now.
John says, I have never been cut so deeply in my life.
My sister doesn't know that I've been sending home a quarter of my paycheck each month
to help with my dad's hospitalization costs.
She doesn't know how often I call home.
So what she said was unfair and untrue.
But I decided I'd rather that I wouldn't say anything about this to her.
After all, she's been carrying quite a load at home.
I'll just forgive her.
Just forgive and forget, it has often been said.
And I think that at times that is what we should do.
But in a case like that of John and Rachel,
where their relationship has been badly damaged by misunderstanding
and now is characterized by lack of trust and deep hurt,
in a situation like that, just forgiving and forgetting,
I think usually does not do anything to help repair the damage to the relationship.
Today and the next three Sunday mornings,
we're going to be looking at damaged relationships and how to restore them.
On the handout that I hope you have,
you'll see at the top a little introduction section with what I call five truths
that the Bible tells us about relationships.
And I'm going to go through those briefly now.
First, relationships get damaged.
How many people believe that?
Probably I don't have to prove that to you.
But I will mention that in the book of Genesis,
which has the primary theme of beginnings,
there is this strong secondary theme of damaged relationships.
I think it's true, or at least almost true to say,
that every single relationship in Genesis that we read about in any detail got badly damaged.
And up on the screen, you'll see a partial list of these relationships,
which I think, to me anyway, make very clear that God knows this is true,
and he cares deeply about it.
The damaged relationship that we'll be focusing on comes at the end of Genesis,
and it's about Joseph and his brothers.
Now, the second truth about relationships from the Bible is that it's hard work to repair a damaged relationship.
But they can be restored with God's help.
And here I reference, and on your sheet, you know, you'll see a lot of text,
and next to most of them is a Bible reference,
and I'm going to put those up on the screen when I'm referring to them.
So, it's hard work to maintain and restore relationships.
In Ephesians 4.2, we read,
Be completely humble and gentle.
Be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Make every effort.
The message is, it's hard work.
But we're to do that.
By the way, I just remembered something that I had forgotten.
And that is that I was hoping to use the youth group Bibles
that are sitting in a box in the back room there.
Eli would know where they are and if they're still available.
But later today, when we look at Genesis,
I wanted to encourage all of you to,
if you don't have your own Bible, to look on there.
Thank you, Ben.
All right.
So, the third truth about relationships from the Bible.
Not that these are the only truths, but these are some.
Number three.
Restoring damaged relationships is critically important to God's work in the world.
We read in John 13, 35, that Jesus said,
By this, all men will know that you are my disciples,
if you love one another.
Now, the implication is that, on the other hand,
if Christians are fighting with one another,
are not getting along with one another,
if their love isn't showing,
people will doubt that we are disciples of Jesus.
And I think in the United States today,
we see that in a big way.
People outside the church,
people who wouldn't call themselves Christians,
typically, so the polls show,
look at Christians and think,
they're unloving,
and they're not really following Jesus.
Which has a terrible negative effect
on what God wants to do through us.
So, good relationships between Christians
and people in general are important to God's work.
Fourth truth.
God's goal for us in our relationship
when they get damaged
is not just that the anger and hostility ends.
God's goal is that we have good relationships
with one another.
Colossians 3, 12 and following.
Therefore, as God's chosen people,
holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievances
you have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together
in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body,
you were called to peace.
A lot of words there.
But if you can form a picture
of what the church and our relationships
would be like if we obeyed that,
it is a beautiful thing.
Something to be greatly treasured
and worth working hard for.
The fifth point.
Restoring damaged relationships
is usually a process.
Now, there may be those times
when, let's say,
you get hurt by somebody else
that you've had a good relationship with
and you get angry
and there may be times when,
you know, very quickly,
all of a sudden, problem solved,
it's over with,
good relationship again.
But,
I believe both experience
and the Bible
indicate that that's not
the way things usually work.
Usually, restoring a badly damaged relationship
is a process.
We'll see, I believe,
good evidence for that
in the Bible as we go along.
But I think also,
in Genesis 37 through 50,
the story of Joseph and his brothers,
we see how that gets played out
as a long-term process of restoration.
Now, the Bible says a lot about relationships,
how they get damaged,
how they can be fixed.
I think one way
to summarize
what the Bible teaches
is that restoring relationships
is a process
that can be described
in four steps.
Not the only way
to, you know,
summarize the Bible's teaching,
but I think this is
a good way.
On your sheet,
and the front side
that we're looking at
is the one that starts
with restoring damaged relationships,
not the one that says
step three on the back.
But right here,
you have
what I call
four steps
to
restoring damaged relationships.
And you can read those,
but what I want to do now
is
try and explain
briefly
what I mean by them,
making reference back
to the story
I told at the beginning
about
John and Rachel.
John was
deeply hurt
and then angered
by what Rachel told him.
But it seems
that fairly quickly
he got over his anger.
And that's what I mean
by renouncing anger.
You know,
letting go of it
so that you're not
angry with
the person who hurt you
anymore.
And then
it seems
that instead of
focusing on
the hurt
and anger
that he was feeling,
he started thinking
about Rachel
and all that
she was going through.
And I would
describe that
as responding
in love.
He really starts
to care about
the person
who hurt him.
Now,
I don't think
that was
the total approach
he took
was wise,
but at least
I believe
he was responding
in love.
What's wrong
with that approach
is that
if he isn't
going to do
anything else
but just
forgive and forget,
he's not going
to get to
what I call
reconciliation.
By which I mean
things are discussed.
There's good
communication.
People come
to an agreement
on the truth.
And where there's
a need
for somebody
to ask forgiveness
and for forgiveness
to be granted,
there's an opportunity
for that to be done.
Now,
if that doesn't
get done,
the hurt
of the past
is probably
going to continue
into the future
in a form
of lack
of trust.
This person
hurt me before.
You know,
why should I believe
the future
should be any different?
The person's
probably going
to hurt me again.
So,
in the case
of John,
Rachel,
you know,
if John just
forgives and forgets,
Rachel's probably
going to continue
to think
John doesn't care
about the family
anymore.
He thinks,
you know,
he's too good
for us now.
And so she
certainly isn't
going to trust
him to act
in the best way
towards her
and the rest
of the family.
So,
these are
four steps
that often
are worked
through in the
order that
you have them
there.
During this
study,
today in the
next three weeks,
this is my
hope and goal,
that as we
look at what
the Bible says,
we'll come to
understand more
about relationships,
how they get
damaged,
how God
wants to work
with us and
through us
to restore
them.
But I also
want us
to work
together
to
help each
other
apply
the truths
that we
read.
Let's pray.
Heavenly
Father,
we are
broken people
who have
broken
relationships.
We ask
that you
will give
us a
picture
of what
you want
those
relationships
to be
in the
future.
May we
see the
love
and the
joy
that you
desire
us and
others to
have.
We ask
that you'll
bring conviction
where you
want us to
change,
that you'll
give us
hope,
that you
will enable
us to
change.
help us
obey you
so that we
may experience
your peace,
love,
and joy.
That the
name of
Jesus may
be praised.
Amen.
that.
Now,
at this
point,
I'll just
invite you
to do two
things if you
can.
One,
get a
handout if
you haven't
gotten one
yet,
and we're
going to be
looking in
a moment
at this
section
about
Jacob
and his
family.
And also,
if you don't
have a
Bible,
then how
do we
do our
Bibles?
We have
many,
and hopefully
they're the
ones I'm
imagining,
but if not,
probably close
enough.
I'd like you
to turn to
Genesis 37,
and we're
going to
begin by
reading verses
3 through
11.
If you're
using the
Bible,
I think you
have,
you'll find
this on
page 31.
Somebody,
if you find
that's true,
let me know.
If it's not
true,
you can also
let me know.
But,
Genesis chapter
37,
and we'll
start with
verse 1.
But,
as you
turn there,
let me just
give you a
little bit of
background.
Jacob,
one of the
main people
in this
story,
it's mentioned
over here,
Jacob also
has the name
Israel,
and he's
called by
both names
in this
text,
but they
both refer
to the same
people.
Now,
Jacob was
the grandson
of Abraham
and the
son of
Isaac,
part of
the family
that God
picked to
reveal himself
to the
world.
So,
they have a
special part
in God's
plan.
But,
as we'll
see,
that didn't
guarantee that
they were
necessarily
very godly
people.
This chart
describes
Jacob's
family.
He had
what we
might call
two first
class wives,
Leah and
Rachel.
children.
But then
he had
what we
might call
two second
class wives,
Bilhah,
Rachel's
servant
originally,
and Zilpah,
Leah's
servant.
And between
the four of
them,
he had
twelve
sons,
and they're
listed there
underneath
their mother,
and the
number there
is their
birth order,
as it
turns out.
Now,
this is a
great recipe
for a
dysfunctional
family.
And that
is what
we see
happen for
the marriage
setup and
for other
reasons,
too.
But even
in a family
such as
this,
there were
certain
expectations.
And one
is that
the oldest
son would
become the
leader of
the family
when dad
died.
And the
oldest son
would also
inherit a
greater share
of whatever
inheritance
the father
passed on
to his
sons.
However,
in this
family
situation,
which the
other brothers
wouldn't have
liked,
but they
would have
gone along
with it
because,
you know,
that's
tradition,
that's what
we have
to live
with.
But a
complicating
factor was
that Jacob
had a
favorite
son who
he loved
more than
all the
others.
That was
Joseph.
And between
that and
some
shenanigans
that Reuben
was involved
in,
it wasn't
clear that
Reuben was
going to be
the head of
the family
in the
future.
You know,
maybe Joseph
was.
And that
just made
things more
complicated and
less happy
in general.
all right,
that being
said,
I'm going
to start
reading
Genesis 37
with verse
1.
Jacob lived
in the
land of
his
fathers,
that is,
Abraham and
Isaac,
his father's
sojournings
in the
land of
Canaan,
what we
would call
Israel
today.
And the
next phrase,
these are
the generations
of Jacob,
may not
communicate a
lot to
us.
another
translation
puts it,
I think,
helpfully this
way.
This is an
account of
Jacob's
family line.
And now
the second
part of
verse 2.
Joseph,
being 17
years old,
was pasturing
the flock
with his
brothers.
He was
a boy
with the
sons of
Bilhah
and Zilpah,
his father's
wives.
And Joseph
brought a
bad report
of them
to his
father.
Now,
we don't
know whether
that bad
report was
warranted
or not.
And we
don't know
in what
way Joseph
brought the
report to
his father.
But,
however that
be,
it certainly
was not
something that
the other
brothers
appreciated.
verse 3.
Now,
Israel,
once again,
same person
as Jacob.
Israel
loved Joseph
more than
any other
of his
sons,
because he
was the
son of
his old
age.
And he
made him
a robe
of many
colors.
But,
when his
brothers saw
that their
father loved
him more
than all
his
brothers,
they hated
him and
could not
speak
peacefully
to him.
So,
Jacob
showed
favoritism.
That wasn't
Joseph's fault.
But,
it was
certainly
easy for
the brothers
to focus
their unhappiness
about it
on
Joseph
in
anger.
Now,
it would
have been
wonderful
at this
point if
Joseph's
brothers,
feeling this
anger,
said,
you know,
we should
not hold
a grudge
against
Joseph.
We should
love him.
You know,
we should
renounce
our anger.
They did
not have
the benefit
of the
whole
Bible.
They did
not have
the benefit
of understanding
the joy
of forgiveness
through faith
in Jesus,
nor the
fullness of
the Holy
Spirit,
nor a
greater church
around them
to help
them.
So,
and plus,
there's no
indication they
were particularly
godly people,
even though
they were in
this special
family that
God was
working with.
We do
have those
other benefits
today,
and even
so,
it's hard
for us
to react
as God
wants us
to in a
similar
situation.
But,
with God's
help,
we can.
And,
so,
in a situation
like that,
first thing,
renounce
anger.
But,
they didn't.
Alright,
let's read
on.
Not only
did they
not renounce
anger,
but at this
point,
we read
that Joseph
added fuel
to their
simmering,
angry fire.
Now,
Joseph had
a dream,
and when
he told
it to
them,
he said
to them,
hear this
dream that
I had.
Yeah,
suddenly my
glasses don't
seem to be
working well.
But,
I,
here we go.
Hear this
dream that I
dreamed.
behold,
we were
binding
sheaves
in the
field,
and behold,
my sheave
arose
and stood
upright,
and behold,
your sheaves
gathered around
it and bowed
down to my
sheave.
His brother
said to him,
are you
indeed
to reign
over us,
or are you
indeed
to rule
over us?
imagine
negative
tone of
voice.
So,
they hated
him even
more for
his dreams
and for
his words.
Then he
dreamed
another dream
and told
it to his
brothers and
said,
behold,
I have
dreamed another
dream.
Behold,
the sun,
the moon,
and eleven
stars were
bowing down
to me.
But when
he told it
to his
father and
to his
brothers,
his father
rebuked him
and said
to him,
what is
this dream
that you
have dreamed?
Shall I
and your
mother and
your brothers
indeed come
and bow
ourselves down
to the ground
before you?
And the
brothers were
jealous of
him,
but his
father kept
this saying
in mind.
Now,
when Joseph
told this
dream,
he was at
least seventeen
years old
and
he was
a smart
young man.
I think
those things
are clear.
I also
think that
he was a
spoiled
teenager
and was
acting like
a jerk.
So,
we could
say,
yeah,
his
brothers had
good reason
to be angry
with him.
and they
stayed angry
and
eventually
their
anger
turned
violent.
As I've
said before,
we,
by God's
grace,
have a lot
more resources
than they
had to
deal
properly
with
damaged
relationships.
So,
let's look
first at
what the
Bible says
we should
do in
a situation
like this.
And,
so,
at this
point,
we're
looking at
step one
in restoring
damaged
relationships,
renouncing
anger.
And,
what I call
step one
here is
acknowledging
that God
doesn't want
me to stay
angry even
if somebody
really has
hurt me.
He does
not want
me to
stay angry
with this
person.
And,
let's
see here,
the
reference I
give is
Ephesians
4,
26-27,
which is
up on the
screen.
It reads,
be angry
and do
not sin.
Do not
let the
sun go
down on
your anger
and give
no opportunity
to the
devil.
that
phrase,
don't let
the sun
go down
on your
anger,
it was
a,
I think,
putting it
in our
context today,
it would be
something like
this.
Don't stay
angry with
somebody for
more than
a few
days.
When you're
hurt,
it's normal
and not
necessarily
sinful to
respond in
anger.
Jesus was
angry at
times.
But
staying
angry with
somebody
is a
sin.
And the
implication
here is
that if
you stay
angry with
somebody,
you're
inviting
Satan to
come into
your life
and stay
there and
continue
to make
your
relationships
bad.
So,
first thing
to do
is,
if you
find yourself
hurt and
angry and
you're staying
angry,
to realize,
ah,
this is not
what God
wants,
and to
pray and
commit
yourself to
not staying
angry with
this person.
now,
at this
point,
I think
it would
be good
to do
a little
reality
check.
So,
let me
ask this,
or ask
you to
raise your
hand,
if this
is true
of you.
At
some time
in the
past,
have you
been really
hurt by
somebody,
gotten
angry with
them,
and stayed
angry with
them for a
few days
or longer?
if that's
happened to
you,
as it's
happened to
me,
I invite you
to raise
your hand.
Now,
there may
be some
of us
who haven't
experienced
that.
If not,
if you
live very
long,
most likely
it will
happen,
but,
you know,
some of us
are more
angry people
than others,
and some
people stay
more angry
than others.
But,
whether you've
experienced it
or not,
here's another
question.
Let's say
you find
yourself
in that
situation.
Maybe you're
in it now,
maybe in
the future,
you feel
the conviction
of God,
I should
renounce
this anger,
it should,
you know,
be wiped
out of my
life,
and you pray
about it,
and you say,
Lord,
help me
release this
anger.
Do you
think
that that
will,
by itself,
solve the
problem?
If you
think that
will likely
for you
solve the
problem,
raise your
hand.
If you
think,
ah,
that may
not solve
the problem
just by
itself,
raise your
hand,
and here
I raise
my hand.
You probably
know that
just because
you decide
you're going
to do
something,
doesn't mean
it's
automatically
going to
happen.
sin.
A child
may decide
they're going
to become
a veterinarian,
but that
decision in
itself will
not bring
that to
pass.
And many
of us have
experienced
this.
We've been
convicted of
sin,
we pray,
confess it
to God,
ask him to
help us
have victory
over that
sin,
and have
found that
we continue
to do
it.
Now,
if you've
experienced
that,
and gotten
discouraged,
be encouraged,
because of
two things.
These are
not on your
sheet,
but one,
God has
given us
everything
we need
to have
victory
over sin,
and
to get
rid of
the sin
in our
life.
By the
way,
this reference
is now
on your
sheet,
but it's
up here
after point
number five,
if you
want to
look at
it in
the future.
So,
2 Peter 1,
starting with
verse 3,
God's
divine power
has granted
to us
all things
that pertain
to life
and godliness,
through the
knowledge of
him who
called us
to his
own glory
and excellence,
by which
he has
granted to
us his
precious
and very
great
promises,
so that
through them
you may
become
partakers
of the
divine
nature,
having
escaped
from the
corruption
that is
in the
world
because
of sinful
desire.
I find
that
an amazing
and
encouraging
statement.
God will
give us
what we
need.
Secondly,
God knows
that in
the way
he's
ordained
things,
if we've
had habitual
sin,
getting
victory
over sin
is usually
a process
by which
God
through
his
work
over
time
pushes
out
the
old
habit
and
replaces
it
with
the
new
habit
that
God
wants
us
to
have.
If
you
continue
reading
in
that
passage
5
through
verses
11,
this
is
very
clear
that
it
is
a
process
by
which
God
removes
the sin
in our
lives
and replaces
it
with his
character,
the character
of Jesus.
And in
addition to
that general
teaching,
the Bible
is full
of
information
about
the steps
that
we
can take
in the
process
to experience
that.
And
so
right now
we're going
to
continue
looking
at
what I'm
calling
for the
big picture
step one,
renouncing
anger,
but
sub-steps
in that.
So the
first one
is to
recognize
ah,
you know,
this is not
what God
wants
and ask
for his
help
in
renouncing
anger.
The
second
step
that I
mentioned
there is
don't
replay
the
negative
past.
So
let's
say
somebody's
hurt
you
and
you know,
you're going
about your
daily business
and
you remember
the event.
Here are
two choices
that you
have.
One,
you can
go over
it.
You know,
you can
kind of
put in
that mental
video
you have
of what
that person
did to
you.
And as
you replay
it,
you know,
experience
the hurt
and anger
all over
again.
And as
you do
that,
you may
experience
a certain
devious
delight
of righteous
anger.
Oh,
I have
been wrong.
That is
terrible.
And it's
easy to
do that
again
and again
and again.
But
what
God
says
to do
is
as we
read
in
1 Corinthians
13,
I think
it speaks
to this
point.
Love
keeps
no
record
of wrongs.
It doesn't
hold on to
that mental
video.
You know,
it doesn't
keep it
right there
ready to
play
again
and again.
love
does not
delight
in evil.
You know,
it doesn't
make a
practice
of,
oh yeah,
that's
what that
person
did to
me.
Get
the
adrenaline
going
again.
No.
So
instead
of when
that
event,
that hurt
comes to
mind,
instead
of replaying
the negative
paths,
you could
choose,
with God's
help,
to
practice
step
four
or
five.
But
before we
get to
those
and
to
step
three,
let's
go back
to our
Bible
text.
And
we
read
in
Genesis
37,
12
through
17,
that
Joseph
was at
home.
His
brothers,
it seems
maybe all
his
brothers,
except
for his
full
brother
and the
youngest
brother
Benjamin,
were out
a ways
from home
taking care
of the
family
sheep,
the
flocks.
And
their
father,
Jacob,
wanted to
know how
they were,
so he
sends
Joseph
out to
find them
and check
on them.
And then
we come
to verse
18.
The
brothers
saw him
from afar
and before
he came
near to
them,
they conspired
against him
to kill
him.
They
said to
one another,
here
comes this
dreamer,
come
now,
let us
kill him
and throw
him into
one of
the pits.
Then
we will
say that
a fierce
animal
has
devoured
him
and we
will see
what
becomes
of his
dreams.
But
when
Reuben
heard
this,
he
rescued
him
out of
their
hands
saying,
let us
not take
his
life.
And
Reuben
said to
them,
shed
no
blood,
throw
him
into
this
pit
here
in the
wilderness,
but do
not lay
a hand
on him.
That
he
might
rescue
him
out
of
their
hand
and
restore
him
to
his
father.
Now,
it may
be
that
some
of
Reuben's
motivation
was
good.
Love
for his
father,
love
for
Joseph.
But
it
may
also
be
that
because
Reuben
had
offended
his
father
and
you
know,
that
maybe
threw
into
question
whether
Reuben
was
going
to
become
the
head
of
the
family.
Reuben
was
looking
for
some
way
to
get
back
into
the
good
graces
of
his
father.
We
don't
know.
But
a good
result
of this,
whatever
the motivation
was,
is that
Joseph
was not
killed
at this
time.
Verse
23.
So when
Joseph
came to
his
brothers,
they stripped
him of
his robe,
the robe
of many
colors
that he
wore,
and they
took him
and threw
him into
a pit.
The pit
was empty
and there
was no
water
in it.
Joseph
was wearing
the robe
of many
colors.
The
obvious
evidence
that he
was the
favorite,
that he
was loved
more than
all the
others.
was the
man.
That's
how it
was that
they
recognized
him from
afar.
So far
away that
they had
time to
get this
conspiracy
together and
also to
change it.
What a
nice young
man Joseph
was, not
flaunting.
he
was the
thing.
He
wasn't that
nice or so
it appears
to me.
So the
anger that
had been
simmering
comes out
here.
and what
was in
back of
the
conspiracy,
they saw
the robe
of many
colors and
they replayed
the negative
past.
You know,
the bad
report he
brought about
them before,
that dad
loved him
best,
that Joseph
obviously
thought that
he was
going to
be in
charge.
So not
only was
that a
negative
past,
but imagining
Joseph in
charge of
the family,
that spoiled
teenager
jerk,
that was
not a
desirable
future for
them.
And you
notice in
verse 18
that they
say,
ah,
we're going
to take
care of
this and
then we'll
see what
becomes of
his dreams.
So,
when we're
badly hurt,
it's easy
to get
angry and
every time
we remember
it,
to play
the video
of the
negative
past,
and then
project
an image
of a
negative
future.
Think of
John and
Rachel
again.
You know,
when John
thinks of
his father
and mother,
both struggling
with health
issues now,
you know,
it would be
easy for
him to
think,
well,
whatever
happens now,
I'm not
going to
hear about
it.
You know,
Rachel didn't
tell me what
was going
on in the
past,
and that's
how it's
going to
be in the
future,
so how am I
going to deal
with this
now?
I can't
expect any
help from
Rachel.
So,
the Bible
tells us
not to
replay the
negative
past,
and not
to
project a
negative
future.
I believe
one indication
of that
is in
1 Corinthians
13,
7,
where we
read that
love
believes
all things,
hopes all
things.
we can
believe
that just
as God
is at
work in
us,
he's at
work in
other
people.
God
can
change
that person
for good.
God can
change me
for good.
God can
bring about
a better
relationship
between us.
And so
we can
have a
positive
hope for
the future
rather
than
an
assurance
that
things
are
going
to
be
just
as
bad
as
they
have
been
or
worse.
Now,
there was
a time
in my
life
where
one day
I realized
what I
was doing.
I was
thinking about
a certain
negative
situation
and I
sat down
and
said,
okay,
this has
happened,
what's the
worst that
can happen
next?
What about
that?
And then
what's the
worst that
can happen
after that
happens?
And then
what's the
worst that
can happen
after that
happened?
And in
part,
I was
doing this
as an
exercise
in
placing
blame
on
somebody
else
involved.
So,
when I
sat down
and started
this process,
I was
feeling bad
and by
the time
I was
done,
I felt
horribly.
And on
this
particular
occasion,
I believe
God spoke
to me
and said,
do you
know what
you're
doing?
And then
I realized
it wasn't
just then.
This had
been a
habit,
long-standing
habit in
my life.
It did
not help
me to
restore
better
relationships
with the
people
involved.
And so,
with God's
help,
that habit
got done
away with.
And God
helped me
start practicing
what I
call here
steps,
four and
five,
in
renouncing
anger.
Oh,
lost track
of time
for a
moment.
So,
what we're
going to
do is
we're going
to come
back to
those
steps
next week.
We'll
finish off
renouncing
anger and
then start
to look
at
responding
in love.
for better
or for
worse,
I haven't
noticed
anybody
trying to
ask any
questions
today.
And we're
out of
time now.
I do,
after a
fashion.
But
here's what
I want
us to
do.
If God's
been speaking
to you
this morning,
you know,
and saying,
this is an
issue that
I want
you and
I to
deal with,
don't
push it
aside
and not
act on
it.
Maybe even
right now,
God would
like you
to say,
you know,
this afternoon,
I want you
to get
alone and
talk to
me about
this.
If you
find this
and some
of the
Bible
references
may be
potentially
helpful,
use these.
One of
the things
that I
have found
so helpful
in my
life lately
is on
a daily
basis,
trying to
pick a
phrase from
either what
I'm reading
in the
Bible right
now,
a verse,
or maybe
you'd want
to pick
something off
of here,
and read
it over
so that
you can
meditate
on it
during the
day.
For example,
if you're
a habitually
angry person,
you might
want to
put in
your mind,
do not
let the
sun go
down on
your anger.
And as
you find
yourself angry
during the
day,
the Holy
Spirit can
bring that
to mind
and give
you the
grace to
turn away
from that.
But if
he's been
speaking to
you,
don't,
just ignore
that.
The Bible
says it's
not people
who hear
the word
of God
who experience
God's
blessing.
It's the
people who
remember it
and put it
into practice.
One other
thing,
in small
type,
underneath the
title,
is my
name and
my phone
number.
And feel
free to
call me if
you have
follow-up
questions this
week,
or if you've
already
experienced
God's blessing
about restoring
a relationship,
or if even
this week you
have something,
an experience
that you think
would be helpful
for me to hear
about, feel
free to call.
let's close
in prayer.
Heavenly
Father,
we thank
you and
rejoice in
your love
for us
and
the great
sacrifice
you made
to reconcile
us to
yourself
through Jesus.
Lord, may
we have the
experience as
your children
to be
reconcilers
here and
now,
that people
may see
your love
in us
and know
that we
are your
disciples.
Amen.
God
is
brought
to him,
okay?
He
is
convinced
,
how
could
try
to
get
the
push
it
."
".
Please
check
the
characterize
the