WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.459 are visiting with us, welcome. We're glad that you're here, and we're glad that you're here 00:00:05.459 --> 00:00:11.519 not because we are trying to fill seats, but because we are following Jesus together as one 00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:16.820 community. And as we follow Jesus together, we've become convinced that there's no one so good 00:00:16.820 --> 00:00:22.980 that they don't need God's grace, and no one so bad that they can't have it, which means that God 00:00:22.980 --> 00:00:28.320 has something to say to everyone in his word, something to say to people who have been Christians 00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:33.119 their entire lives, and also something to say to people who have doubts or questions or objections 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.939 about Christianity. And so we're glad for everyone that's here with us as we're following Jesus 00:00:37.939 --> 00:00:44.340 together. Over the last several months, actually since January, we've been reading the book of Nehemiah 00:00:44.340 --> 00:00:50.519 together. And as you know, the book of Nehemiah is about a man named Nehemiah who lived in the fifth 00:00:50.519 --> 00:00:57.519 century and led God's people to rebuild the wall around the city of Jerusalem. And as we've seen, 00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:02.460 he did not just lead God's people in returning to God's wall, but he also led God's people in 00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:10.480 returning to God's word and God's ways and his mission. And so that means fundamentally the book 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:17.100 of Nehemiah is a book about spiritual renewal and revival. It tells us a story and it paints us a 00:01:17.100 --> 00:01:23.640 picture about what it looks like when God's people turn back to God's word and his ways. 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:30.719 And if you have been with us, you also know that there's two endings. We had the first ending a 00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:36.840 couple weeks ago in Nehemiah chapter 12. The wall was completed. There was great rejoicing. The people 00:01:36.840 --> 00:01:41.319 walked on top of the wall that they had rebuilt. There were two separate choirs. They met in God's 00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:46.319 temple and worshiped him. And that would have been a wonderful place for this book to end. 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:54.039 But instead, we have a second ending. And this second ending, chapter 13, seems somewhat strange, 00:01:54.679 --> 00:02:01.799 maybe anticlimactic, perhaps counterintuitive. It would be nice to just end with celebration, 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:07.099 right? Why not end on a high note? But instead, we find out in chapter 13 that renewal and revival 00:02:07.099 --> 00:02:13.780 did not last. Nehemiah was there as a governor for 12 years, and then he had promised the king of 00:02:13.780 --> 00:02:17.640 Persia that he was going to return. And so he returns to the Persian empire from Israel. 00:02:18.379 --> 00:02:22.360 And at some later point, we're not sure exactly when, he comes back to Israel and he finds, 00:02:22.460 --> 00:02:30.039 to his dismay, that many of his reforms have not lasted. Despite the celebration in chapter 12, 00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:36.199 God's people have not continued to follow God's ways and his mission. And so this tells us, 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:39.500 the second ending tells us two things. One of them I've been telling you the last two weeks, 00:02:39.500 --> 00:02:45.860 which is that spiritual revival and renewal, is not something that we arrive at. We're always 00:02:45.860 --> 00:02:51.620 tempted to turn away from what God has called us to. And so we always need to be coming back and 00:02:51.620 --> 00:02:57.379 returning again and again and again. The second thing that this tells us that I have not pointed 00:02:57.379 --> 00:03:03.139 out is that we cannot have spiritual renewal and revival without hard and painful conversations. 00:03:03.139 --> 00:03:12.119 So think about it this way. Let's say that someone came to you. Let's say that you're married. Not all 00:03:12.119 --> 00:03:17.359 of us are married, but some of us are. And they said, I want to ask you a question. Do you, would you want 00:03:17.359 --> 00:03:22.339 your marriage to be better than it's ever been? Do you want to have renewal and revival in your 00:03:22.339 --> 00:03:27.699 marriage? Do you want to see more of a relationship than you've ever seen before, more joy and more 00:03:27.699 --> 00:03:33.079 intimacy? What would you say? Of course, many people would say, yes, that sounds great. That sounds 00:03:33.079 --> 00:03:37.000 amazing. So this person asking you, let's say they're a counselor, they'd respond, well, that's 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:40.399 great. That's wonderful. I'm glad you're willing to have the best marriage you've ever had. So we're 00:03:40.399 --> 00:03:43.959 going to have to have some conversations first. First, we're going to have to talk about that thing 00:03:43.959 --> 00:03:47.879 that he did two years ago that he still hasn't apologized for that's kind of between you and you 00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:52.839 haven't been able to talk about, and it's creating some distance. And then after we talk about that, 00:03:52.919 --> 00:03:56.419 we're going to have to talk about some of the ways that he has not been able to live up to her 00:03:56.419 --> 00:04:01.059 expectations because her dad was really good at certain things, and he's not good at those same 00:04:01.059 --> 00:04:05.060 things, and she still hasn't forgiven him for that, and he doesn't have the permission to not be 00:04:05.060 --> 00:04:09.339 perfect sometimes. And then after we have that conversation, we're going to have to talk about some of 00:04:09.339 --> 00:04:14.539 the ways that you guys have conflict, and we're going to have to build some new patterns of relating 00:04:14.539 --> 00:04:16.959 and working through areas where you disagree. 00:04:19.459 --> 00:04:26.300 No, our marriage is great. It's amazing. No, we're good. We don't, things are going well. 00:04:26.420 --> 00:04:35.480 The same thing is true of the church as well. There are many people who long and say, we really 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:40.020 want there to be revival in this country. We would love for this church to have more joy 00:04:40.020 --> 00:04:47.040 and faith than it's ever had before. We would love for the hearts of God's people in this nation to 00:04:47.060 --> 00:04:52.400 turn back to God. And so if someone might ask, church, do you want to have revival and renewal? 00:04:52.539 --> 00:04:57.319 Is that something that you long for? And everyone would say, yes, right? That's something that we 00:04:57.319 --> 00:05:02.279 want. It's something that we hope for. Okay, well, great. Well, first, we're going to have to have some 00:05:02.279 --> 00:05:08.099 really hard conversations. Nehemiah chapter 13, we're going to have to talk about the ways that we use 00:05:08.099 --> 00:05:13.899 money and the times that we want to trust in money rather than in God. Nehemiah chapter 5, we're going 00:05:13.899 --> 00:05:19.259 to have to talk about the ways that we treat people who are on the margins of society. Back to Nehemiah 00:05:19.259 --> 00:05:23.159 chapter 13, we're going to have to talk about our time and the ways that we use it. And maybe 00:05:23.159 --> 00:05:26.800 there's places where the way that we use our time gets in the way of our relationship with God. And 00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:31.699 we're actually trusting our work rather than God and his provision for us. 00:05:35.159 --> 00:05:39.399 With this second ending, we've had, now we're about to have three hard conversations in a row. 00:05:39.399 --> 00:05:46.159 And it hasn't just been feel-good sermons about God's love and his justice and his passion and his 00:05:46.159 --> 00:05:51.839 mercy. And if you've been listening carefully, there's probably some point or multiple points 00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:58.739 at which I've offended you or which you've strongly disagreed with me. And that's okay. 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:05.920 But it's a reminder to us that the cost of Christian discipleship is very high. 00:06:08.379 --> 00:06:13.400 And if we want and long for God's presence, we have to have hard and difficult conversations. 00:06:14.660 --> 00:06:19.180 And so we have one hard and difficult conversation left. That's how the book of Nehemiah ends, 00:06:19.259 --> 00:06:21.060 and it's a conversation about marriage. 00:06:21.060 --> 00:06:26.220 The question is this, what do our marriages have to do 00:06:26.220 --> 00:06:28.939 with God and his ways? 00:06:29.860 --> 00:06:33.480 What does marriage have to do with returning to God and his mission for the world? 00:06:33.579 --> 00:06:37.259 What does marriage have to do with spiritual renewal and revival? 00:06:38.899 --> 00:06:41.439 It's with that question that we come to our very last 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:42.959 section of the book of Nehemiah. 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:47.759 We're going to be reading chapter 13, starting in verse 22. 00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:50.899 And as we come to this passage, remember that this is God's word. 00:06:52.060 --> 00:06:57.180 And God tells us that his word is more precious than gold, even the finest gold. 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:02.540 And it is sweeter than honey, even honey that comes straight from the honeycomb. 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.420 Which means that we turn to it now, starting in verse 23. 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:14.340 In those days also I saw the Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. 00:07:15.060 --> 00:07:18.180 And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod. 00:07:18.180 --> 00:07:22.459 And they could not speak the language of Judah, but only the language of each people. 00:07:24.300 --> 00:07:28.199 And I confronted them and cursed them and beat some of them and pulled out their hair. 00:07:28.840 --> 00:07:31.620 And I made them take an oath in the name of God, saying, 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:37.540 You shall not give your daughters to their sons, or take their daughters for your sons or for yourselves. 00:07:38.699 --> 00:07:39.560 Verse 26. 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:43.500 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin on account of such women? 00:07:44.500 --> 00:07:48.500 Among the many nations there was no king like him, and he was beloved by his God. 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:51.199 And God made him king over all Israel. 00:07:52.300 --> 00:07:55.779 Nevertheless, foreign women made even him to sin. 00:07:56.560 --> 00:08:00.060 Shall we then listen to you and do all this great evil, 00:08:00.519 --> 00:08:03.980 and act treacherously against our God by marrying foreign women? 00:08:03.980 --> 00:08:06.160 Verse 28. 00:08:07.259 --> 00:08:24.200 Verse 30. 00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:31.259 Thus I cleansed them from everything foreign, and I established the duties of the priests and Levites, each in his work. 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:36.279 And I provided for the wood offering at appointed times and for the firstfruits. 00:08:37.299 --> 00:08:39.980 Remember me, O my God, for good. 00:08:41.659 --> 00:08:44.399 Please pray with me as we come to this portion of God's word. 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:52.939 Dear Father in heaven, we thank you for your word that you give to us. 00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:55.659 We thank you that you give us words of encouragement. 00:08:56.459 --> 00:08:58.579 We thank you that you also give us words of challenge. 00:08:59.500 --> 00:09:03.319 That you're not afraid to have hard conversations with us, 00:09:03.620 --> 00:09:06.199 because you love us and you care for us. 00:09:07.539 --> 00:09:11.439 We ask that you would send your Holy Spirit this morning to help us do that, 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:12.699 to help us listen well. 00:09:12.700 --> 00:09:18.220 That we would be able to see and know and understand and believe 00:09:18.220 --> 00:09:22.200 everything that you have for us in your word. 00:09:23.520 --> 00:09:25.460 We ask these things in Jesus' name. 00:09:26.400 --> 00:09:26.700 Amen. 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:32.840 We saw in the very beginning of Nehemiah, 00:09:33.020 --> 00:09:35.840 as they were rebuilding the wall in chapters 4 and 6, 00:09:35.920 --> 00:09:38.960 that they were enemies who were coming up against God's people. 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:42.379 That God has real enemies in real time and real space. 00:09:42.379 --> 00:09:45.720 And so they had to stand firm, trusting God and knowing that he would defend them, 00:09:46.100 --> 00:09:49.360 despite the attempts to make them afraid and to stop the work that they were doing. 00:09:50.259 --> 00:09:51.939 And they overcame that and finished the wall. 00:09:53.100 --> 00:09:54.220 These enemies were separated. 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:58.919 But now when Nehemiah returns, remember he was governor for 12 years, 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:01.340 he returns to Persia and then he comes back to Israel. 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:07.399 He finds that the very enemies that God's people had separated from are now at the very center of Israel. 00:10:07.399 --> 00:10:14.519 We saw two weeks ago that one of them had made his way all the way into one of the storehouses for the tithes 00:10:14.519 --> 00:10:16.659 and he turned it into a storage unit for his furniture. 00:10:18.279 --> 00:10:20.639 And so Nehemiah had to cast him out and tell them, 00:10:20.779 --> 00:10:21.600 no, this is not good. 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:25.159 We have to instead use these things for the purposes that God's given them. 00:10:26.379 --> 00:10:31.240 Now he comes up against another way that God's people have been mixing with God's enemies. 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:38.379 He finds, verse 23, that they have not just allowed God's enemies into some of God's places, 00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:40.820 but they've actually gone so far as to marry them. 00:10:41.779 --> 00:10:44.279 Now some of these names are going to sound familiar. 00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:45.240 Ashdod. 00:10:45.899 --> 00:10:50.980 We saw in chapter 4 that the Ashdodites were one of the enemies that were coming up to try to stop the building of the wall. 00:10:51.779 --> 00:10:55.019 We've already heard in this chapter about the Ammonites and the Moabites. 00:10:55.320 --> 00:11:00.820 Tobiah, by the way, remember Tobiah is one of the men who was trying to stop God's people and destroy the wall. 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:02.100 He's an Ammonite. 00:11:02.159 --> 00:11:03.419 And then we know about the Moabites. 00:11:05.460 --> 00:11:09.980 And we find out even more than that, not just that the Israelites are marrying God's enemies, 00:11:10.580 --> 00:11:16.419 but just as happened before, we have this one bad actor, Eliashib, verse 28. 00:11:16.740 --> 00:11:19.580 He's the same one who let God's enemies into the storehouses. 00:11:20.419 --> 00:11:24.399 And now it turns out that his son has married Tobiah's daughter. 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:31.879 So one of God's greatest enemies has not just found his way into God's storehouses, 00:11:32.019 --> 00:11:33.480 which Nehemiah has already taken care of, 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:37.600 but now he's actually intermarried into one of the most powerful families in Israel. 00:11:37.779 --> 00:11:39.959 He is connected with the priesthood itself. 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:47.040 And so the Israelites, in just a short time, 00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:52.040 have turned away from following God with their whole heart and their whole lives. 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:58.280 Now when we read passages like this, it's tempting, 00:11:58.980 --> 00:12:03.160 and sometimes it can be confusing when we talk about marrying foreigners. 00:12:04.040 --> 00:12:06.620 So let me just first of all say what this passage is not saying. 00:12:06.620 --> 00:12:10.940 It is not talking primarily about interracial marriage. 00:12:12.019 --> 00:12:15.179 This passage is not saying we cannot marry people of other races. 00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:18.620 What we have to understand is that Israel in the Old Testament 00:12:18.620 --> 00:12:21.879 was both a race and a nation, and it was also God's people. 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:25.440 And so race and religion were mixed or combined 00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:28.120 in a way that they are not combined as much today. 00:12:29.139 --> 00:12:33.039 So the command that God had given for his people not to marry other races 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:35.399 was not primarily a racial issue. 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:36.919 It was a religious issue. 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:41.120 It's not a racial issue as much as it's a religious issue. 00:12:41.179 --> 00:12:43.340 And we know this for a lot of different reasons. 00:12:43.459 --> 00:12:45.419 First of all, we talked about this a couple weeks ago. 00:12:45.740 --> 00:12:48.559 We have a whole book of the Bible that we went through last summer 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:51.240 that's named after a woman whose name is what? 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:53.199 Ruth. 00:12:53.439 --> 00:12:54.480 And Ruth is what? 00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:56.379 A Moabite. 00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:58.779 Ruth is a foreigner. 00:12:58.779 --> 00:13:03.500 And we have a whole book in the Bible that talks about how wonderful it is 00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:07.000 that this Moabite, this foreigner, married one of God's people. 00:13:08.059 --> 00:13:10.799 Why was it okay for a foreigner to marry an Israelite? 00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:14.220 Well, do you remember what Ruth said in Ruth chapter 1? 00:13:15.980 --> 00:13:16.600 She says, 00:13:16.699 --> 00:13:18.259 Your God is my God. 00:13:21.559 --> 00:13:23.899 Ruth had embraced Yahweh. 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:25.699 She'd embraced the religion of the Israelites. 00:13:25.700 --> 00:13:28.460 So because of that, her race was not an issue. 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:31.460 And that's not the only place we see it in the Old Testament. 00:13:31.640 --> 00:13:34.280 We also have an issue that shows up in the book of Numbers. 00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.620 Moses marries a woman named Zipporah. 00:13:38.740 --> 00:13:40.780 And this woman named Zipporah is an African. 00:13:41.100 --> 00:13:42.020 So Moses is a Jew. 00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:42.680 She's an African. 00:13:43.400 --> 00:13:46.500 And Miriam and Aaron make fun of Moses for marrying an African. 00:13:47.980 --> 00:13:49.920 What does God do to Moses and Aaron? 00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:51.500 Excuse me, Miriam and Aaron. 00:13:51.500 --> 00:13:54.179 Miriam and Aaron are punished. 00:13:55.980 --> 00:13:58.600 In fact, God gives Miriam leprosy. 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:02.259 In other words, God is saying, 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:03.559 You want to make fun of someone? 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:07.539 You want to make fun of Moses for marrying someone who's dark-skinned? 00:14:08.500 --> 00:14:12.080 I will make you as light-skinned as you can possibly be. 00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:17.980 Because, of course, one of the effects of leprosy is that you turn this deathly white. 00:14:20.700 --> 00:14:23.540 And so it's important to put a bookmark here at the beginning and say, 00:14:23.660 --> 00:14:25.879 This issue is not about race. 00:14:25.980 --> 00:14:26.720 It's about religion. 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:30.420 But in the Old Testament, because the Israelites were an ethnic people, 00:14:30.520 --> 00:14:32.220 race and religion often overlapped. 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:38.860 John Piper tells the story about the time that he was at a conference. 00:14:39.019 --> 00:14:41.840 And he heard a man named Warren Webster speak. 00:14:41.920 --> 00:14:43.759 And this man was a former missionary to Pakistan. 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:46.200 And he was taking questions from the audience. 00:14:46.460 --> 00:14:48.860 And one student raised his hand and said, 00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:53.240 What if your daughter falls in love with a Pakistani while you're on the mission field 00:14:53.240 --> 00:14:54.160 and wants to marry him? 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.399 And without hesitating, this man Warren Webster replied, 00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:01.519 The Bible would say, 00:15:02.319 --> 00:15:06.779 Better a Christian Pakistani than a godless white American. 00:15:11.259 --> 00:15:14.019 God's passion and his zeal in this passage 00:15:14.019 --> 00:15:18.679 is that his people, when they marry, 00:15:18.779 --> 00:15:23.419 would marry those who share their love for his word and his ways and his mission. 00:15:23.419 --> 00:15:26.219 And everything they've turned back to in this book. 00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:28.879 Another way of putting that quote would be this. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:32.939 Boaz was better off marrying Ruth, a Moabite, 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:36.279 than many of the women of Israel at that time. 00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:39.360 Because as we know from the book of Ruth, 00:15:39.459 --> 00:15:41.099 she was an example to them 00:15:41.099 --> 00:15:43.959 of what it looked like to be faithful, 00:15:44.179 --> 00:15:45.379 to follow after the Lord. 00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:49.980 If the reason is not race, 00:15:49.980 --> 00:15:54.740 then why is God so opposed to his people marrying foreigners? 00:15:56.800 --> 00:16:00.100 Thankfully, I don't have to go to other passages in the Bible. 00:16:00.259 --> 00:16:02.200 It's right here in this section for us. 00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:04.740 First of all, verse 24. 00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:07.980 Half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, 00:16:08.060 --> 00:16:09.879 and they could not speak the language of Judah, 00:16:09.940 --> 00:16:11.440 but only the language of each people. 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:16.240 This means that in these intermarriages 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:17.460 between two different religions, 00:16:18.020 --> 00:16:19.760 in fact, it would probably be more appropriate here 00:16:19.760 --> 00:16:21.280 to speak about an interfaith marriage 00:16:21.280 --> 00:16:22.360 than an interracial marriage. 00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.500 In this situation, the mothers, the foreigners, 00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:27.900 had so much influence 00:16:27.900 --> 00:16:30.380 that these children could not even speak their father's language. 00:16:30.379 --> 00:16:34.639 And so it's clear to Nehemiah 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:36.679 that these fathers are not doing anything 00:16:36.679 --> 00:16:38.360 to disciple their children, 00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:39.340 to raise them up, 00:16:39.419 --> 00:16:40.500 to know the God of Israel. 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:44.000 Second of all, this language issue is important 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:47.419 because as we've seen in Nehemiah 8, 9, and 10, 00:16:48.220 --> 00:16:50.000 God's people return to God's word, 00:16:50.279 --> 00:16:53.559 which, if you can't speak the language of God's people, 00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:54.980 you can't read. 00:16:54.980 --> 00:16:59.279 And so there's a tremendous generational threat 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:01.100 that the next generation of Israelites 00:17:01.100 --> 00:17:02.960 are not going to follow after God. 00:17:03.100 --> 00:17:05.860 It's already bad enough without any foreigners, right? 00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:08.839 We've seen them abandoning the tithe. 00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:10.759 They've abandoned the Sabbath day. 00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:13.079 And they've done that 00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:15.240 without having to bring in any outside influence, 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:17.220 as we talked about earlier in the book. 00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:19.279 We don't need any help to sin. 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:26.099 We don't need to worry about non-Christians causing us to sin 00:17:26.099 --> 00:17:27.279 because we do enough on our own. 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:28.160 It's not their fault, right? 00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:28.740 It's our fault. 00:17:29.579 --> 00:17:31.339 It's the sinful heart that we have. 00:17:32.879 --> 00:17:34.700 And so verse 24, that's the first reason 00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:36.539 that these marriages are bad news. 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:40.099 The second reason is in verse 26 and 27. 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:44.180 Did not Solomon, king of Israel, sin on account of such women? 00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:47.379 Among the many nations there was no king like him, 00:17:47.379 --> 00:17:48.859 and he was beloved by his God, 00:17:48.859 --> 00:17:50.879 and God made him king over all Israel. 00:17:51.679 --> 00:17:54.659 Nevertheless, foreign women made even him to sin. 00:17:57.419 --> 00:17:58.759 In other words, Solomon, 00:17:58.959 --> 00:18:01.319 if anyone was not to be corrupted, it was Solomon. 00:18:02.139 --> 00:18:04.259 If anyone was a model Israelite, 00:18:04.299 --> 00:18:05.959 in fact, that was the point of the king of Israel, 00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:08.199 that they would be a model of what it's like to follow God. 00:18:08.299 --> 00:18:09.959 If anyone was a model, it was Solomon. 00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:10.679 And guess what? 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:14.740 Even Solomon's wives caused him to sin. 00:18:18.859 --> 00:18:20.179 The point is this. 00:18:21.859 --> 00:18:27.839 First, there is nothing that is more important 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:29.979 than our relationship with the Lord. 00:18:29.980 --> 00:18:47.440 Second, there may not be anyone with more power 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:51.079 and influence in your life than your spouse. 00:18:51.079 --> 00:19:00.119 There may not be anyone with more power and influence in your life than your spouse. 00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:07.679 And so the Israelites, when they are marrying foreign women, 00:19:08.679 --> 00:19:14.939 they are making the person with the most influence and power and greatest ability, 00:19:14.940 --> 00:19:20.480 they are putting that as a person who has the potential and the capacity 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:24.519 and the willingness to take them away from what is most important in their lives. 00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:32.740 They are giving someone who has the most influence and power in their life 00:19:32.740 --> 00:19:36.460 the power to take them away from what's most important in their life. 00:19:36.460 --> 00:19:44.000 That is the threat that Nehemiah is up against here, 00:19:44.019 --> 00:19:45.079 and that's the two principles. 00:19:45.460 --> 00:19:47.440 That our relationship with God is the most important, 00:19:47.819 --> 00:19:49.660 and our spouse is the most powerful. 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:57.579 And so that's why Nehemiah comes with so much frustration and anger here. 00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:00.880 Because he sees, as we talked about last week, 00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:03.880 he's like a parent seeing his child walk along the wrong way. 00:20:03.880 --> 00:20:08.280 And he wants to do anything he can to pull them back onto the right path. 00:20:11.740 --> 00:20:13.100 So those are our two principles. 00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:18.540 And then we have a variety of applications for different stages of life. 00:20:21.280 --> 00:20:25.440 First of all, if you're single, which, by the way, many of us are. 00:20:26.040 --> 00:20:29.520 Many of us are married, and many of us are single. 00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:30.080 I'm single. 00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:33.280 There are others of us who are in our 20s and 30s that are single. 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:35.720 There's also a lot of widows in this church, and if you're a widow, you're single. 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:41.680 If you are single, don't marry non-Christians. 00:20:45.019 --> 00:20:47.379 If you are single, don't marry non-Christians. 00:20:49.059 --> 00:20:53.960 And we say this because this is a constant issue and temptation in the church. 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.599 In fact, it's becoming more and more accepted in our society. 00:20:57.700 --> 00:21:00.579 I remember about 10 years ago, Chelsea Clinton was married. 00:21:00.579 --> 00:21:02.599 She claimed to be a Christian. 00:21:02.699 --> 00:21:03.859 She married this man who was a Jew. 00:21:03.980 --> 00:21:07.819 And there was all this hype made about just how wonderful it was that they had this interfaith marriage. 00:21:09.319 --> 00:21:11.240 Of course, I didn't judge them for that. 00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:13.980 They're legal-free adults. 00:21:14.059 --> 00:21:14.859 They can do whatever they want. 00:21:14.939 --> 00:21:18.220 But I did think they must not take their faith very seriously. 00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:23.220 This must be more of a cultural thing than a religious thing for them. 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:28.100 Now, there's a reason that this is a constant temptation and issue in the church. 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:29.980 It's a temptation for a lot of good reasons. 00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:33.100 First of all, finding a spouse is very complicated. 00:21:33.099 --> 00:21:36.819 If you don't believe me, ask anyone who's single. 00:21:39.219 --> 00:21:40.679 Finding a spouse is very complicated. 00:21:40.879 --> 00:21:42.839 It's complicated without talking about any of this. 00:21:42.899 --> 00:21:46.059 So it's complicated because you have to find someone that you're attracted to physically. 00:21:46.459 --> 00:21:48.559 You've got to find someone that you're compatible with. 00:21:48.639 --> 00:21:49.539 Somehow you get along. 00:21:49.639 --> 00:21:51.240 You're able to communicate at some level. 00:21:52.259 --> 00:21:54.599 You have to have a somewhat similar vision of life. 00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.439 And that is a lot harder than it sounds. 00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:02.400 You know, there's one thing that happens if you're single a lot, 00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:03.779 which is that people try to set you up. 00:22:04.220 --> 00:22:05.920 And I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus for that. 00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:06.559 I think it's wonderful. 00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:08.320 It's a very helpful way to connect people. 00:22:08.740 --> 00:22:11.980 Very grateful for people in the church who set other people up 00:22:11.980 --> 00:22:13.940 and introduced people who would not have otherwise met. 00:22:14.019 --> 00:22:15.740 So don't hear what I'm not about to say. 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:19.600 I've had people try to set me up many times. 00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:21.400 And most of the time, I'm very grateful. 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:23.380 But every once in a while, it goes like this. 00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:26.080 Hey, I really want you to meet so-and-so. 00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:27.960 Great. 00:22:28.680 --> 00:22:30.080 And I always press them a little bit, right? 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:33.360 Why do you think so-and-so and I need to meet? 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:34.860 Why do you think this is a good fit? 00:22:36.120 --> 00:22:41.900 Well, you're both Christians and you're both the same age. 00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:47.080 Wow, that has been my problem all along. 00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:53.440 I have never in my life met someone who is a Christian who is also my age. 00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:55.720 Where have you been? 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:02.940 And I say that to say that marriage is complicated. 00:23:03.120 --> 00:23:04.740 It is difficult to find a spouse. 00:23:05.460 --> 00:23:11.320 And it is tempting to marry non-Christians because adding that as another factor 00:23:11.320 --> 00:23:15.019 on top of everything else that is difficult narrows your pool even more. 00:23:15.019 --> 00:23:19.660 It makes finding a spouse even more challenging. 00:23:21.980 --> 00:23:23.319 Another way of putting it would be this. 00:23:23.379 --> 00:23:29.660 A lot of people in the church are single because they have chosen to remain faithful to the Lord. 00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:35.460 There are many single people in the church who have many options for a spouse. 00:23:35.460 --> 00:23:44.160 And they've chosen to say no to all of them because they know how important it is to marry someone who shares their faith. 00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:51.180 So one of the reasons it's tempting to marry a non-Christian is that finding a spouse is difficult. 00:23:51.740 --> 00:23:54.200 Making it a Christian spouse makes it increasingly more difficult. 00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:57.420 So it's just a lot simpler to take that out of the equation. 00:23:57.420 --> 00:24:04.800 The second reason it's tempting to marry a non-Christian is because of the very challenging struggle sometimes of being single. 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.080 And one of them is loneliness. 00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:13.000 And so people will think, well, it would be better to be married to someone than no one. 00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:20.039 It would be better to be married to a non-Christian than to not be married at all. 00:24:20.980 --> 00:24:23.640 A less than ideal marriage is better than no marriage. 00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:32.099 The problem is there is more than one kind of loneliness. 00:24:34.359 --> 00:24:37.079 Right? You think it's better to be married. At least I won't be lonely. 00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:45.259 But if you've lived life long enough, you know what it's like to be in a room full of people and still feel alone. 00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:51.679 There's a loneliness that comes from not having someone physically with you. 00:24:53.059 --> 00:24:59.439 There's also a loneliness that comes when you and the person you're with do not love the same things. 00:25:01.220 --> 00:25:03.259 Now this happens on a trivial scale, right? 00:25:03.259 --> 00:25:09.599 If you love the Avengers and no one else in the city you live in loves the Avengers, 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:12.180 there's a certain loneliness that comes with that. 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:19.619 If you love cycling and you live in a city and there's no one else who cycles, 00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:21.640 if you love getting outside, there's no one else who does that, 00:25:21.660 --> 00:25:24.720 there's a certain loneliness to loving something that no one else loves. 00:25:24.779 --> 00:25:28.019 That's why certain conferences and gatherings are so important for people. 00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:30.980 We have people who go up to Denver every year for Comic-Con 00:25:30.980 --> 00:25:34.480 so that they can find other people who care about the same things that they do. 00:25:34.860 --> 00:25:37.000 There's a special fellowship and community there, right? 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:41.519 You come in here to church and you have a special connection with people around you 00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:43.960 because we care and pursue the same things. 00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:53.019 There is a specific and special kind of loneliness and heartbreak 00:25:53.019 --> 00:26:00.119 that comes from being married to someone who does not value what is most important to you. 00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:12.000 So it's tempting to marry non-Christians because it limits the field, right? 00:26:12.740 --> 00:26:16.759 It's tempting to marry non-Christians because we think it's better to have some marriage than no marriage. 00:26:16.759 --> 00:26:22.279 And finally, it's tempting to marry non-Christians because sometimes people tell me they're more exciting. 00:26:24.559 --> 00:26:25.779 You might hear it put this way. 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:29.519 I just, Christian guys, you know, they just don't have any game. 00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:34.319 In fact, I had a friend in seminary who said he was going to, 00:26:34.379 --> 00:26:37.359 we had these seminars during lunch times when I was a student 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:39.740 where you'd have different missionaries share about their ministries. 00:26:40.099 --> 00:26:43.759 And he said at one point he was going to do a ministry lunch and it was going to be about game. 00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:47.640 He said, I'm going to teach Christian men how to talk to Christian women. 00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:50.920 That's my goal because I think this is such a bad thing in the church. 00:26:51.180 --> 00:26:52.059 I'm going to solve it. 00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:56.000 Now, he never did that, so I won't forgive him for that. 00:26:59.579 --> 00:27:00.759 Or you might hear it this way. 00:27:01.180 --> 00:27:02.660 Okay, Christian guys have no game. 00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:04.680 Christian girls, they're really boring. 00:27:05.299 --> 00:27:06.319 Christian guys are really boring. 00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:07.920 Christian girls have no game. 00:27:09.819 --> 00:27:13.000 And then there's someone who's not a Christian who comes along incredibly exciting, right? 00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:15.779 They share some of the same passions that you do. 00:27:15.859 --> 00:27:16.920 You connect really well. 00:27:20.200 --> 00:27:22.839 And yet all of that will fade over time. 00:27:24.980 --> 00:27:26.660 That excitement will wear off. 00:27:28.779 --> 00:27:33.660 It will wear off partially because that's what happens as we age and become to know each other better. 00:27:33.660 --> 00:27:49.640 But it will also wear off as you come to realize, hopefully not too late, that you have very different compasses when it comes to figuring out your life. 00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:57.020 Finally, it's tempting because non-Christians are still created in the image of God. 00:27:59.020 --> 00:28:05.200 And so I don't want you to hear anything that I say today to imply that I think that Christians are better people than non-Christians. 00:28:05.360 --> 00:28:06.620 We're all saved by grace. 00:28:07.280 --> 00:28:08.320 It's not something that we did. 00:28:08.380 --> 00:28:09.860 It's something that God has given to us. 00:28:09.859 --> 00:28:15.479 And so we meet many people in this world who do not know Jesus, who sometimes are wiser than us. 00:28:16.679 --> 00:28:18.439 Sometimes they're kinder than we are. 00:28:19.639 --> 00:28:21.819 Sometimes they're more generous than we are. 00:28:21.819 --> 00:28:31.139 And what that tells us is not that Christianity is false, but that what God has told us is true. 00:28:32.139 --> 00:28:34.059 That he's made everyone in his image. 00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:41.799 And so whether we run from it or not, there are ways in which we reflect God and his character, whether we know him or we rebel against him. 00:28:41.799 --> 00:28:54.599 What's most important is this, that that person, if you marry them, has no interest in your relationship with the Lord. 00:28:56.200 --> 00:29:02.680 They may discourage it merely by the fact that they're not interested, or they may be outright hostile to it. 00:29:06.980 --> 00:29:09.659 I could list many other reasons. 00:29:11.799 --> 00:29:14.079 But the point is this. 00:29:15.180 --> 00:29:17.079 We don't marry non-Christians. 00:29:17.879 --> 00:29:25.740 And we don't do it not because we believe that we're better than them, but because we want God's mission more than anything else. 00:29:29.779 --> 00:29:38.339 And so we know if we're going to do that, the most influential and powerful person in our life needs to want God's mission as well. 00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:46.819 Kids, listen to me. 00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:54.619 You may not believe it right now, and I can't guarantee you that this is going to happen to you. 00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:57.379 But it will probably happen to you. 00:29:57.380 --> 00:30:01.560 At some point, you are going to meet someone. 00:30:02.840 --> 00:30:05.080 And you are going to get along really well. 00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:08.740 You're going to like the same things. 00:30:09.720 --> 00:30:11.760 You're going to have some of the same hobbies and interests. 00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:15.360 You're going to be attracted to them, whether you believe me or not. 00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:23.139 And you're going to think, there's nothing more that I want right now than to be with this person. 00:30:25.339 --> 00:30:27.079 But that person may not be a Christian. 00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:31.919 If they're not, don't do it. 00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:35.399 I'm telling you now to prepare you. 00:30:35.659 --> 00:30:36.539 It will happen. 00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:45.879 Almost, if not every single Christian person you have met has had that experience. 00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:50.919 And so as I said before, many people, many Christians are single. 00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:54.800 Not because they don't have options or opportunities for relationships. 00:30:55.019 --> 00:31:00.140 Because they have chosen that they want God and his mission more than anything else. 00:31:04.900 --> 00:31:08.920 Second, so we've talked about the single people, all of us. 00:31:10.860 --> 00:31:13.320 This passage also has a lot to say to married people. 00:31:13.319 --> 00:31:20.759 If you are married, and you have married a non-Christian, 00:31:21.619 --> 00:31:26.639 there is still tremendous hope for you and your marriage. 00:31:28.700 --> 00:31:34.019 We read a New Testament passage this morning, and that New Testament passage was about 1 Corinthians 7, 00:31:34.099 --> 00:31:36.259 about Christians who are married to non-Christians. 00:31:36.339 --> 00:31:37.059 What does Paul say? 00:31:39.679 --> 00:31:40.519 Stay married. 00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:44.779 You don't know whether or not you might win them over to the Lord. 00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:52.240 If your spouse is the most powerful and influential person in your life, it cuts both ways. 00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:57.099 You, if you're a Christian, and you're married to a non-Christian, 00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:01.700 you are the most powerful and influential person in their life. 00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:05.059 Paul's not naive. 00:32:06.339 --> 00:32:09.220 This was obviously something that happened in the first century church. 00:32:09.299 --> 00:32:10.400 It's still true in the church today. 00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:11.700 It's true for a variety of reasons. 00:32:11.840 --> 00:32:15.480 Sometimes two people get married, neither of them are Christians, and then one becomes a Christian. 00:32:16.860 --> 00:32:21.019 Sometimes someone is a Christian, but they decide they want to marry a non-Christian, and that happens. 00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:28.920 And so I talk about all of these things not to shame people who are in marriages, these mixed marriages, 00:32:29.160 --> 00:32:33.040 but because it's important to give a warning to those who aren't. 00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:37.099 But also this principle cuts through in every area. 00:32:37.180 --> 00:32:38.899 This principle is true for you as well. 00:32:40.019 --> 00:32:44.119 Peter talks in 1 Peter 3 about winning over your spouse without a word. 00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:50.679 In other words, if you're married to a non-Christian God and his power and his presence are still with you, 00:32:51.739 --> 00:32:53.000 he sees you. 00:32:54.119 --> 00:32:57.299 He's given you the church to strengthen and support you. 00:32:57.299 --> 00:33:04.859 And you do not know whether or not one day your faithfulness will win over your spouse. 00:33:04.859 --> 00:33:13.439 You are the most powerful and influential person in their life. 00:33:15.139 --> 00:33:20.659 Finally, if you're married to a Christian, you might be thinking, 00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:22.440 Okay, this is great. 00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:26.680 I'm learning a lot of helpful things that I can say to people who aren't married. 00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:32.440 This passage still has something to say directly to you as well. 00:33:33.360 --> 00:33:35.620 First of all, in the same way that I talked about suffering, 00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.100 if you're not suffering now, you will be suffering one day. 00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:43.279 If you are not single now, the odds of you being single one day are high. 00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:48.320 If you don't believe me, ask any of the widows in our church. 00:33:50.660 --> 00:33:56.180 Second, if these principles are true, 00:33:56.279 --> 00:33:59.700 if one, there's nothing more important than our relationship with the Lord, 00:34:00.460 --> 00:34:05.259 and two, there's no one in our life who is more powerful and influential than our spouse, 00:34:06.740 --> 00:34:08.360 then if you are both Christians, 00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:15.059 there is no one who is more capable than you are of enabling and empowering 00:34:15.059 --> 00:34:19.860 and encouraging your spouse to remain faithful to the Lord. 00:34:20.659 --> 00:34:28.839 There is no one who is more able to stir up good works and love and joy in your spouse's life than you. 00:34:30.359 --> 00:34:32.699 In other words, God has given you tremendous power. 00:34:33.899 --> 00:34:34.699 Use it for good. 00:34:37.399 --> 00:34:41.480 Use it for good to encourage and love and care for your spouse. 00:34:41.480 --> 00:34:45.619 Share that same mission together. 00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:46.440 Pursue it. 00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:48.300 And love it. 00:34:55.139 --> 00:35:00.500 Ultimately, we're not here as a church to talk about marriage. 00:35:00.699 --> 00:35:04.219 We do because it's part of the Christian life and it's an important topic. 00:35:04.219 --> 00:35:08.699 But we're here because, as we've discussed so many times, 00:35:08.759 --> 00:35:11.679 our relationship with God is the only path to life. 00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:14.779 It's the only path for those inside the church, 00:35:14.859 --> 00:35:16.939 and it's the only path for those outside of the church. 00:35:17.619 --> 00:35:21.339 And so we do everything we can to stay on the path to life 00:35:21.339 --> 00:35:24.039 and encourage others as they go. 00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:30.239 We do it, and we know that it's the path to life because of Jesus. 00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:34.599 He's the only one who has paid for our sins. 00:35:35.420 --> 00:35:37.579 He's the only one who offers us forgiveness. 00:35:38.900 --> 00:35:41.099 He's the only one who offers us joy, 00:35:41.219 --> 00:35:44.159 and he does it because he was willing to be separated 00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:48.019 from the most powerful and influential person in his life. 00:35:48.019 --> 00:35:52.739 He was willing to be separated from the Father in his death 00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:55.059 so that we could be connected with him. 00:35:56.300 --> 00:35:59.440 And so there's nothing that we do to get in the way of that. 00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:04.420 If you're struggling with singleness 00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:10.840 and wonder if it's worth it to stay that way 00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:12.659 for the sake of being faithful to God, 00:36:14.300 --> 00:36:17.019 remember that the gospel is our greatest treasure. 00:36:18.019 --> 00:36:21.119 And there is nothing that is worth giving up for it. 00:36:22.759 --> 00:36:25.500 Second, we trust God. 00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:28.099 Not only is he our greatest treasure, 00:36:28.199 --> 00:36:29.320 but he's our greatest provider. 00:36:30.380 --> 00:36:32.759 And so we know that there's nothing that we need 00:36:32.759 --> 00:36:34.139 that he won't give to us. 00:36:35.759 --> 00:36:38.079 And so we keep trusting him and following him, 00:36:38.199 --> 00:36:41.380 remembering the promise that we're given in Romans 8, 00:36:42.199 --> 00:36:44.019 that if he's given us his son, 00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:47.840 will he not also give us everything else with it? 00:36:48.019 --> 00:36:51.659 And if we wonder, 00:36:52.460 --> 00:36:55.380 there's a home and a place for us. 00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:59.099 We know Jesus' promise as well in the book of John 00:36:59.099 --> 00:37:01.099 that he's preparing a place for us, 00:37:01.699 --> 00:37:03.920 that there are many rooms in his father's house. 00:37:05.059 --> 00:37:07.239 And if it were not so, he would not have told us. 00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:09.879 And so because of that, 00:37:10.419 --> 00:37:11.599 we trust God. 00:37:12.279 --> 00:37:13.779 We follow after God. 00:37:13.879 --> 00:37:15.819 We believe him and we obey him, 00:37:15.919 --> 00:37:18.139 no matter what the cost. 00:37:19.439 --> 00:37:20.419 Please pray with me. 00:37:22.779 --> 00:37:23.819 Dear Father in heaven, 00:37:23.919 --> 00:37:26.099 we thank you that you are faithful to us. 00:37:26.099 --> 00:37:31.000 We thank you for the hard words that you give to us. 00:37:31.819 --> 00:37:34.319 We ask that you would build our love and our trust 00:37:34.319 --> 00:37:35.440 and our confidence in you, 00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:38.480 that we would remain faithful no matter what, 00:37:39.259 --> 00:37:40.860 and that we would love you with all of our hearts 00:37:40.860 --> 00:37:42.059 and minds and strength. 00:37:42.659 --> 00:37:44.699 We ask all these things in Jesus' name. 00:37:44.699 --> 00:37:45.579 Amen.