WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.560 Good evening. 00:00:08.419 --> 00:00:09.779 Glad we could be here together. 00:00:10.540 --> 00:00:10.980 Let's pray. 00:00:16.019 --> 00:00:18.580 Our Heavenly Father, at the close of this day, 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:23.719 we gather here because you're a God who promises to be in our midst 00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:28.240 and to speak through your word. 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:33.619 And that's a word that we long to hear, that we are desperate to hear. 00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:36.519 And so we pray that you would honor your promise and speak. 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:39.099 In your son's name, amen. 00:00:43.259 --> 00:00:45.560 Well, I'm truly glad to be here together. 00:00:46.879 --> 00:00:51.099 I know it's an odd thing to say, but I'm actually a big fan of Ash Wednesday. 00:00:52.519 --> 00:00:53.840 I love this service. 00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:58.980 And it's an odd service to love, but there are some things about it 00:00:58.980 --> 00:01:03.220 that I feel like every time of year when we get to this service, 00:01:03.420 --> 00:01:04.920 I feel the same way. 00:01:05.540 --> 00:01:10.000 And I essentially feel like, man, I really need this. 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:13.900 And I hope some of you understand what I'm talking about. 00:01:14.120 --> 00:01:17.219 I wanted to take a few minutes just to think a little bit 00:01:17.219 --> 00:01:19.920 and reflect a little bit on the meaning of what we're about to do. 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:23.780 At Church of the Advent, we don't want to ever do anything that we don't understand. 00:01:24.420 --> 00:01:27.439 And so we want to make sure we understand what's going to happen. 00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:32.879 In just a little while, Dan's going to invite you to come by rows up front. 00:01:33.240 --> 00:01:37.060 And you're going to come just like we take communion on Sundays, 00:01:37.579 --> 00:01:39.900 except for instead of bread and wine, 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:44.099 we're going to take a little bit of ash mixed with a little bit of tea tree oil. 00:01:44.099 --> 00:01:46.640 And we're going to use our thumb. 00:01:46.759 --> 00:01:48.780 And in the best technique we have, 00:01:48.859 --> 00:01:53.319 we're going to put a little smudge on your forehead in the shape of a cross. 00:01:53.919 --> 00:01:57.819 And I want to reflect a little bit on why we do this. 00:01:59.039 --> 00:02:00.479 You know, because some people say, well, you know, 00:02:00.599 --> 00:02:04.419 Jesus says clearly in Scripture that when we fast, 00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:08.299 we shouldn't display our fasting so that everybody knows what we're doing, 00:02:08.359 --> 00:02:09.400 that we should do it in secret. 00:02:09.400 --> 00:02:13.459 So why would we do something like this and go against Scripture? 00:02:15.019 --> 00:02:22.060 And I would say if this is an act that you think is a way of displaying our faithfulness, 00:02:22.199 --> 00:02:26.519 that might be a misunderstanding of what this occasion is about. 00:02:27.060 --> 00:02:29.560 Other people think that we put the ashes on our foreheads 00:02:29.560 --> 00:02:34.780 and then it's a time to act very sad and sort of hang our heads and be very somber. 00:02:35.560 --> 00:02:38.280 And I would say if you're focusing on that aspect of it, 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:40.459 that's also probably a mischaracterization. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:43.900 The easiest way to think about it is this, 00:02:43.900 --> 00:02:47.560 is that the ashes are a way of telling the truth. 00:02:48.780 --> 00:02:50.540 The ashes tell the truth. 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:54.180 And Ash Wednesday is all about telling the truth. 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:58.219 And I don't know about you, but in my life, if I'm honest, 00:02:58.659 --> 00:03:02.159 I find it very easy to avoid hard truth, 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:04.360 to deny it, to pretend like it isn't there, 00:03:04.580 --> 00:03:07.700 to look the other way and to minimize it and to go on with my life. 00:03:07.700 --> 00:03:09.480 It's very easy to do that. 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:15.659 But if you have a visible reminder on your forehead, 00:03:16.439 --> 00:03:21.099 and on the foreheads of all of your friends and loved ones and your kids, 00:03:21.899 --> 00:03:26.399 it's a lot harder to deny or avoid those hard truths. 00:03:27.419 --> 00:03:28.659 The ashes tell the truth. 00:03:28.659 --> 00:03:34.840 And I want to lay out a couple of ways I believe these ashes will tell the truth this evening. 00:03:35.620 --> 00:03:40.139 The first is this, that the ashes tell the truth about us. 00:03:40.139 --> 00:03:45.579 It's interesting. 00:03:45.579 --> 00:03:49.199 There's a bioethicist named George Annis, 00:03:49.419 --> 00:03:54.839 who once referred to America as having a death-denying culture 00:03:54.839 --> 00:03:59.739 that cannot accept death as anything but defeat. 00:03:59.740 --> 00:04:04.200 Now, when we put the ashes on your forehead, 00:04:04.340 --> 00:04:05.879 we're going to say certain words. 00:04:05.980 --> 00:04:06.480 We're going to say, 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.020 From dust you have come, and to dust you shall return. 00:04:11.540 --> 00:04:14.920 Now, it's interesting to say those words in a culture 00:04:14.920 --> 00:04:18.699 like this George Annis person is describing. 00:04:18.900 --> 00:04:21.860 We live in a culture that denies the reality of dust. 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:24.060 We deny the reality of death. 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:27.100 We spend millions of dollars fighting it. 00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:29.340 Billions of dollars fighting it, right? 00:04:29.339 --> 00:04:34.579 We hate and avoid anything that even reminds us of aging, 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:37.379 much less death, right? 00:04:37.539 --> 00:04:42.319 And we worship and idealize youth culture and youthful beauty. 00:04:42.459 --> 00:04:47.039 That is the pinnacle of human existence in our culture, 00:04:47.599 --> 00:04:48.899 is youth and beauty. 00:04:50.419 --> 00:04:51.779 We hate death. 00:04:53.039 --> 00:04:55.099 And yet, when we put ashes on our forehead, 00:04:55.339 --> 00:04:56.559 we're telling the truth. 00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:59.560 We're telling a very hard truth. 00:05:00.939 --> 00:05:02.660 That at some point, 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:04.379 could be this year, 00:05:04.699 --> 00:05:06.040 could be 50 years from now, 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:07.280 but at some point, 00:05:07.639 --> 00:05:10.100 the day will come when you will die. 00:05:10.780 --> 00:05:12.120 When I will die. 00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:13.620 You know, it's interesting. 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.519 I was writing and thinking and reflecting 00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:18.540 and actually writing these very words 00:05:18.540 --> 00:05:20.759 a couple of days ago when I was in the hospital. 00:05:21.300 --> 00:05:26.160 And my wife had gone in to get a comparatively minor surgical procedure 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:28.319 and it required local anesthesia. 00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:32.360 And I was waiting and she was in the surgery room 00:05:32.360 --> 00:05:35.040 and she came out and everything seemed okay. 00:05:35.420 --> 00:05:37.379 And I had just written those words, 00:05:37.740 --> 00:05:39.699 death comes to us all, right? 00:05:39.699 --> 00:05:42.120 And I put my stuff down and I say, 00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:42.599 how you doing? 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:43.959 And she comes in and she looks all right. 00:05:44.120 --> 00:05:44.740 And all of a sudden, 00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:45.699 her body arches, 00:05:46.099 --> 00:05:47.819 her eyes roll back in her head 00:05:47.819 --> 00:05:49.399 and her blood pressure and her heart rate 00:05:49.399 --> 00:05:50.339 just drop to nothing. 00:05:52.159 --> 00:05:53.060 And all of a sudden, 00:05:53.139 --> 00:05:54.019 I'm pushed out of the way 00:05:54.019 --> 00:05:55.219 and all these people flood in. 00:05:55.319 --> 00:05:55.939 They say, what's going on? 00:05:55.959 --> 00:05:56.399 What's going on? 00:05:56.419 --> 00:05:57.620 They start putting stuff in her IV 00:05:57.620 --> 00:05:58.360 and this and that. 00:05:58.579 --> 00:05:59.539 And I had this moment. 00:05:59.659 --> 00:06:01.060 Now, it turned out everything was fine. 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:03.399 Thankfully, I can say, 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:04.519 it's no big deal at all. 00:06:04.519 --> 00:06:07.359 But I had a moment where I thought, 00:06:07.819 --> 00:06:09.919 are you really doing this, God? 00:06:11.479 --> 00:06:13.299 Is this happening right now? 00:06:14.099 --> 00:06:16.019 Just a moment, fraction of a second. 00:06:17.019 --> 00:06:19.819 And luckily that time, everything was fine. 00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:21.659 But you know, at some point, 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:23.240 that moment is going to come. 00:06:24.419 --> 00:06:26.859 And it will be that moment, right? 00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:29.039 Is this really happening now? 00:06:29.139 --> 00:06:30.419 Is this really happening now? 00:06:30.479 --> 00:06:31.479 And the answer will be yes, 00:06:31.979 --> 00:06:33.060 it's happening right now. 00:06:33.060 --> 00:06:35.600 Right, that moment's going to come. 00:06:36.420 --> 00:06:37.500 From dust we have come 00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:41.060 and to dust we will one day return, right? 00:06:42.980 --> 00:06:44.579 And then as we think about telling the truth, 00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:46.459 even as we contemplate the truth of death, 00:06:47.340 --> 00:06:48.379 death is actually a symptom 00:06:48.379 --> 00:06:50.000 that points to an even deeper, 00:06:50.420 --> 00:06:52.560 more serious truth. 00:06:52.899 --> 00:06:53.879 Death is just a symptom 00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:56.500 that points to the deeper reality 00:06:56.500 --> 00:06:58.560 and truth of sin. 00:07:00.100 --> 00:07:02.759 Right, the very fact of death proves sin. 00:07:02.759 --> 00:07:03.079 Why? 00:07:03.219 --> 00:07:04.879 Because sin is essentially what? 00:07:05.819 --> 00:07:08.560 It's rebelling and cutting ourselves off 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:11.259 from the very source of life. 00:07:11.379 --> 00:07:13.379 And it doesn't take a rocket scientist 00:07:13.379 --> 00:07:15.120 to know that if you cut yourself off 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:16.079 from the source of life, 00:07:16.500 --> 00:07:18.019 the clock starts ticking. 00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:20.459 It's a matter of time, right? 00:07:21.099 --> 00:07:22.139 Decay sets in. 00:07:22.819 --> 00:07:23.860 Entropy sets in. 00:07:23.860 --> 00:07:29.439 But just like our culture denies death, 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:31.560 it makes perfect sense 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:34.160 that our culture would also deny 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:35.920 and minimize the reality of sin. 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:36.879 Right? 00:07:36.939 --> 00:07:37.639 Because they go together. 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:38.420 If you deny one, 00:07:38.500 --> 00:07:40.280 you're very likely to deny the other. 00:07:41.580 --> 00:07:43.040 And so we live in a culture where, 00:07:43.240 --> 00:07:43.900 what do we do? 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.819 We spend most of our time and energy 00:07:45.819 --> 00:07:48.620 trying to project a version of ourselves out there, 00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:48.879 right? 00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:51.100 To our employers and to our coworkers 00:07:51.100 --> 00:07:51.959 and to our friends 00:07:51.959 --> 00:07:52.939 and even to our family 00:07:52.939 --> 00:07:54.100 and even to ourselves. 00:07:54.259 --> 00:07:56.620 And we put this version of ourselves out there. 00:07:57.540 --> 00:07:59.579 You know, this idealized version. 00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:00.980 And we try to convince people 00:08:00.980 --> 00:08:01.879 that we're beautiful 00:08:01.879 --> 00:08:02.740 and that we're important 00:08:02.740 --> 00:08:03.639 and that we're worthy 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:04.740 and that we're competent 00:08:04.740 --> 00:08:06.019 and that we're all these things. 00:08:07.719 --> 00:08:08.120 Right? 00:08:08.159 --> 00:08:09.659 We try to convince people 00:08:09.659 --> 00:08:11.019 that we're this person. 00:08:11.159 --> 00:08:13.319 And we even try to convince ourselves 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:14.879 that we're that person. 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:15.480 But frankly, 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:16.660 I don't know about you, 00:08:16.759 --> 00:08:17.900 but sometimes I just feel like 00:08:17.900 --> 00:08:18.700 that's exhausting. 00:08:19.900 --> 00:08:20.840 That's exhausting. 00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:24.240 Constantly trying to convince people 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:25.819 of all of these virtues. 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:28.400 You just get to a point 00:08:28.400 --> 00:08:29.180 where you're sick of it. 00:08:29.259 --> 00:08:30.780 Maybe it's because I'm on the verge of 40. 00:08:31.640 --> 00:08:32.200 I don't know. 00:08:32.680 --> 00:08:33.800 Maybe I've been doing it so long 00:08:33.800 --> 00:08:34.860 that I'm just tired of it. 00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:36.300 But you just get tired of it. 00:08:37.460 --> 00:08:39.060 So we put ashes on our head 00:08:39.060 --> 00:08:40.159 and we tell the truth. 00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:41.740 We tell the truth. 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:44.159 Here's the truth. 00:08:45.480 --> 00:08:46.460 I'm not the person 00:08:46.460 --> 00:08:47.420 that you think I am. 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:50.120 I'm not even the person 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:51.759 that I'd like to think that I am. 00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:53.620 You know? 00:08:54.779 --> 00:08:55.980 You take the collar off, 00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:56.620 the cross, 00:08:57.620 --> 00:08:58.539 the fancy shirt. 00:09:00.800 --> 00:09:02.080 And the truth is, 00:09:02.620 --> 00:09:03.920 this is what the ashes say. 00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:05.220 Even if I won't, 00:09:05.580 --> 00:09:06.740 the ashes will tell you 00:09:06.740 --> 00:09:09.920 that I'm a far worse sinner 00:09:09.920 --> 00:09:11.539 than I would ever dare admit to you. 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:14.100 And I'm a far worse sinner 00:09:14.100 --> 00:09:15.220 than I would ever dare admit, 00:09:15.220 --> 00:09:16.000 even to myself. 00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:17.460 And I'm a far worse sinner 00:09:17.460 --> 00:09:19.420 even than I would even dare imagine. 00:09:20.379 --> 00:09:21.920 And yet the ashes tell the truth. 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:24.040 Even if I remain silent, 00:09:24.680 --> 00:09:25.980 the ashes will tell you 00:09:25.980 --> 00:09:27.279 that's who he is. 00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:31.540 That sounds depressing. 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:32.960 And people think about that 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:33.500 and they think, 00:09:33.720 --> 00:09:34.519 well, Ash Wednesday, 00:09:34.800 --> 00:09:36.320 and that's kind of a downer time of year. 00:09:36.379 --> 00:09:36.879 But frankly, 00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:37.920 as I said before, 00:09:37.980 --> 00:09:39.019 and maybe this is kind of why 00:09:39.019 --> 00:09:39.759 I like Ash Wednesday, 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:41.399 I don't think it's depressing. 00:09:41.539 --> 00:09:42.439 I think it's refreshing. 00:09:44.120 --> 00:09:44.519 Finally, 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:46.700 you can take off the facade, 00:09:47.220 --> 00:09:48.419 you can drop the persona, 00:09:48.819 --> 00:09:50.080 you can cut out the act, 00:09:50.319 --> 00:09:51.899 you don't have to keep pretending anymore. 00:09:52.259 --> 00:09:53.919 You just put the ashes on 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:55.539 and you tell the truth to the world. 00:09:55.939 --> 00:09:56.939 This is who I am. 00:09:57.899 --> 00:09:59.200 I'm not who you think I am. 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:02.300 The ashes tell the truth 00:10:02.300 --> 00:10:02.940 that we're worse 00:10:02.940 --> 00:10:04.500 than we ever dared to admit. 00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:07.340 And that's the first way 00:10:07.340 --> 00:10:08.240 that they tell the truth. 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:09.420 They tell the truth about us, 00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:10.920 that we die 00:10:10.920 --> 00:10:12.180 and we die because we sin. 00:10:14.780 --> 00:10:16.240 But then if you'll also notice 00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:18.700 when we put the ashes on our foreheads, 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:20.200 we put them as best we can 00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:21.520 in the shape of a cross 00:10:21.520 --> 00:10:23.280 and that also points to one more truth. 00:10:24.259 --> 00:10:26.400 The ashes not only tell the truth about us, 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:29.699 the ashes also tell the truth about God. 00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:32.100 And this is the truth 00:10:32.100 --> 00:10:33.259 that they tell about God. 00:10:34.220 --> 00:10:35.639 That God loves you 00:10:35.639 --> 00:10:38.620 more than you ever dared hope. 00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:40.740 He loves you more 00:10:40.740 --> 00:10:42.220 than you ever dared hope. 00:10:43.799 --> 00:10:44.259 Right? 00:10:44.340 --> 00:10:45.699 Because what is the cross? 00:10:45.779 --> 00:10:46.959 The cross shows us this, 00:10:47.059 --> 00:10:49.600 that God loves you. 00:10:50.059 --> 00:10:51.620 And when you turn your back on him 00:10:51.620 --> 00:10:53.579 and cut him out of your life, 00:10:53.580 --> 00:10:57.500 he says that he would rather suffer 00:10:57.500 --> 00:10:59.639 and die himself 00:10:59.639 --> 00:11:02.259 to be able to forgive you 00:11:02.259 --> 00:11:04.580 so that you can live with him for eternity. 00:11:04.740 --> 00:11:06.060 He would rather do that 00:11:06.060 --> 00:11:07.300 than anything else. 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:07.740 In fact, 00:11:07.920 --> 00:11:09.500 it was the only option available 00:11:09.500 --> 00:11:10.900 because of his love. 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:11.960 It's the only thing 00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:13.060 that he would consider doing. 00:11:14.120 --> 00:11:15.800 And so the ashes tell that truth, 00:11:16.040 --> 00:11:16.900 the truth of our love. 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:18.820 So these are the two powerful truths 00:11:18.820 --> 00:11:20.780 that collide in the ashes 00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:22.000 on your forehead. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:25.100 One, the truth about you, right? 00:11:25.299 --> 00:11:27.539 And this is as the late Jack Miller used to say, 00:11:27.620 --> 00:11:28.200 he used to say, 00:11:28.460 --> 00:11:29.059 cheer up. 00:11:30.019 --> 00:11:30.980 You're much worse 00:11:30.980 --> 00:11:32.580 than you would ever dare imagine. 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:35.639 And God loves you 00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:37.679 more than you could ever dare hope. 00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:40.980 And those two realities exist together 00:11:40.980 --> 00:11:42.740 in the ashes. 00:11:43.679 --> 00:11:44.720 And so the implications, 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:46.460 I'll just consider one. 00:11:47.460 --> 00:11:48.860 In order for these truths 00:11:48.860 --> 00:11:50.539 to collide in your life, 00:11:50.539 --> 00:11:51.700 the truth about you, 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.580 and the truth about God's love for you, 00:11:54.899 --> 00:11:57.220 it requires that we tell the truth. 00:11:57.299 --> 00:11:58.279 And that's why we're here. 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:00.320 It requires that we admit it. 00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:02.139 That we actually admit 00:12:02.139 --> 00:12:03.720 that we need that love and mercy. 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:05.000 Right? 00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:07.039 What does Jesus say in Matthew chapter 9? 00:12:07.419 --> 00:12:07.940 He says, 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:09.399 those who are well 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:10.539 don't need a physician. 00:12:10.779 --> 00:12:11.779 It's those who are sick. 00:12:12.779 --> 00:12:14.500 I didn't come to call the righteous, 00:12:15.139 --> 00:12:16.019 but sinners. 00:12:16.620 --> 00:12:16.899 Right? 00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:17.799 He's saying, 00:12:17.939 --> 00:12:18.519 admit it. 00:12:19.419 --> 00:12:21.159 You're not fooling anybody. 00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:21.699 Right? 00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:23.959 God knows the truth about you. 00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:27.299 Your closest loved ones 00:12:27.299 --> 00:12:29.000 suspect the truth about you 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:31.000 if they don't know it already. 00:12:31.139 --> 00:12:31.600 And guess what? 00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:33.379 They deserve to know the truth about you. 00:12:33.899 --> 00:12:35.079 So who are you fooling? 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:36.800 Jesus is saying, 00:12:36.900 --> 00:12:37.300 admit it. 00:12:37.400 --> 00:12:38.420 Admit that you need. 00:12:38.560 --> 00:12:39.460 Admit that you're weak. 00:12:39.740 --> 00:12:41.040 Admit that you need mercy. 00:12:41.520 --> 00:12:42.480 And I will give it to you, 00:12:42.540 --> 00:12:43.500 but you need to admit it. 00:12:43.660 --> 00:12:44.700 You need to tell the truth. 00:12:45.900 --> 00:12:47.400 Because we have in ourselves 00:12:47.400 --> 00:12:49.200 this powerful temptation 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:50.980 to self-justify. 00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:52.120 Right? 00:12:52.259 --> 00:12:53.379 To justify ourselves. 00:12:53.480 --> 00:12:55.440 To minimize and rationalize 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:56.800 and intellectualize away 00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:57.820 all of our faults. 00:12:58.060 --> 00:12:58.660 Not a big deal. 00:12:58.720 --> 00:12:59.140 Not a big deal. 00:12:59.200 --> 00:12:59.720 Not a big deal. 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:01.759 And it's that self-justification 00:13:01.759 --> 00:13:05.200 that destroys our relationship 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:06.220 with God and one another. 00:13:06.440 --> 00:13:06.639 Listen, 00:13:06.779 --> 00:13:07.680 self-justification 00:13:07.680 --> 00:13:09.879 is like acid to relationships. 00:13:10.660 --> 00:13:11.440 It's like acid. 00:13:12.940 --> 00:13:14.019 There's a book written 00:13:14.019 --> 00:13:15.399 by a couple of social psychologists 00:13:15.399 --> 00:13:16.779 and the title of the book is 00:13:16.779 --> 00:13:18.920 Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me. 00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:22.720 And here's what they say about marriage. 00:13:22.820 --> 00:13:23.960 They studied all these couples 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:24.860 that got divorced 00:13:24.860 --> 00:13:25.779 and they asked the question, 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:27.080 what is it that leads 00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:28.500 happily married couples 00:13:28.500 --> 00:13:29.680 ultimately to get 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:30.059 divorced? 00:13:30.219 --> 00:13:30.779 What are the things 00:13:30.779 --> 00:13:31.559 that happened? 00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:33.059 And here's what they found. 00:13:33.819 --> 00:13:35.079 The vast majority of couples 00:13:35.079 --> 00:13:35.819 who drift apart 00:13:35.819 --> 00:13:37.859 do so slowly over time 00:13:37.859 --> 00:13:39.699 in a snowballing pattern 00:13:39.699 --> 00:13:41.739 of blame and self-justification. 00:13:42.719 --> 00:13:43.879 Each partner focuses 00:13:43.879 --> 00:13:44.759 on what the other one 00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:45.500 is doing wrong 00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:46.559 while justifying 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:47.939 his or her own preferences, 00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:48.599 attitudes, 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:50.019 and ways of doing things. 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:51.359 From our standpoint, 00:13:51.539 --> 00:13:51.899 therefore, 00:13:52.599 --> 00:13:53.459 misunderstandings, 00:13:53.620 --> 00:13:53.979 conflicts, 00:13:54.199 --> 00:13:54.979 personality differences, 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:56.120 and even angry quarrels 00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:57.740 are not the assassins of love. 00:13:57.740 --> 00:14:00.840 self-justification is. 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:05.320 Self-justification is like acid 00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:06.620 to our relationships. 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.019 And if it does that 00:14:08.019 --> 00:14:09.440 to our human relationships, 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:10.940 imagine what it does 00:14:10.940 --> 00:14:12.320 to our relationship with God. 00:14:12.560 --> 00:14:14.100 It renders it impossible. 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:16.120 You cannot have a relationship 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:16.759 with God 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:19.139 if you are bent 00:14:19.139 --> 00:14:20.960 on justifying yourself. 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:23.780 So this Lent, 00:14:24.660 --> 00:14:25.759 I don't know 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:26.480 what you're giving up. 00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:28.160 Chocolate or sweets 00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:28.780 or booze 00:14:28.780 --> 00:14:29.360 or caffeine 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:31.240 or white carbs 00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:32.139 or Whole30 00:14:32.139 --> 00:14:33.040 or, you know, 00:14:33.460 --> 00:14:34.080 Netflix. 00:14:34.340 --> 00:14:34.580 I don't know 00:14:34.580 --> 00:14:35.379 what you're giving up. 00:14:36.160 --> 00:14:36.920 But whatever else 00:14:36.920 --> 00:14:37.400 you're doing, 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:40.240 I would just humbly suggest 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:41.560 that you also 00:14:41.560 --> 00:14:44.060 give up self-justification. 00:14:45.700 --> 00:14:47.320 See what that does 00:14:47.320 --> 00:14:48.800 to your relationships 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:50.979 with one another 00:14:50.979 --> 00:14:52.659 and see what that does 00:14:52.659 --> 00:14:53.459 to your relationship 00:14:53.459 --> 00:14:54.000 with God. 00:14:55.099 --> 00:14:56.079 Just give it up. 00:14:57.339 --> 00:14:58.639 So let's come up here, 00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:00.879 let's put on these ashes, 00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:03.559 and let's tell the truth. 00:15:04.759 --> 00:15:05.419 Let's pray. 00:15:05.419 --> 00:15:35.399 Let's pray.