Okay, well, thanks so much, Aaron. Great to see everyone. My name's Graeme. I'm the pastor here. Great to welcome you this morning. This is your first Sunday with us. Maybe you're visiting. And because that's true, you may be thinking, what on earth are we reading in the Bible this morning? Consciousness for a lot of us, we're joining halfway through this series. And just to put you at ease, we don't do this every Sunday, okay?
But it has been fantastic spending some time in the Song of Songs over the last couple of weeks. We're kind of at the halfway point. We've got two more to go. This portion of God's Word in the Bible that's wisdom literature. It's all about how we live in God's way, in God's world, for our good and for his glory.
And this is a book that celebrates the marital and sexual love that exists between a man and a woman in a covenant relationship of marriage. And it's been fantastic just to hear how God has been at work in our lives as we've traveled through this letter together, this letter together, this book together. It's a song. It's the song of songs.
So we're excited to get back into chapter five today. 17 years ago, I was an usher at a friend's wedding in Vancouver in Canada on a place called Thetis Island, which is just off the mainland.
Now, I found a picture of it online. This isn't the actual wedding I went to, but it is the exact venue. Do you want to see it? You ready for this? Promise you won't get envious.
Look at that. Isn't that amazing?
It felt like a celebrity in a kilt over there. It's incredible. To this day, the most stunning wedding backdrop I've ever seen. The weather was everything that you'd expect from North America.
Everyone was looking fabulous. There wasn't a dry eye in the house as the couple were at the front making their vows to each other.
And once everybody had composed themselves and sat down, the pastor then proceeded to give his message to the couple on their wedding day.
He said, Dave and Amanda, as you set out on your married life today, I want you to know straight off the bat that there's two things wrong with your marriage.
And he pointed at both of them and he said, you and you.
Now, let you react to that for a moment. I wonder if somebody said that on your wedding day, how you'd react.
Two things wrong with this marriage, you and you.
And what he perhaps lacked in reading the moment and going with the Disney-esque setting to this wedding,
he more than made up for in his loving pastoral insight that he wanted to share with this couple who he'd walked with in the weeks up to their big day.
Here's what he proceeded to say. He said, don't let this day in all its beauty,
that's really just a decorated doorway to the rest of your lives,
lull you into thinking that married life is going to be this constant stream of marital bliss.
It's not always slow dancing in the kitchen to Michael Bublé.
Roses don't arrive every day from Interflora.
Valentine's Day does not become the new Groundhog Day when you get married.
Because marriage is two sinners living side by side in a Genesis 3 world.
And because that's true, you will experience times of frustration, of miscommunication,
not seeing eye to eye, and your married life together will be,
at times it's going to be really, really hard.
Less like fire and more like fridge.
There's going to be times when it's red hot.
There's going to be times when it's cool.
And it's hard.
And that's precisely where the couple in this song are at today.
They're in one of those seasons.
And I really hope, just if you're thinking about tapping out at this point,
let me give you two things maybe to help you tap in for the rest of this over the next 20 minutes or so.
I hope this does two things for us today as a church family.
Because we're all at different seasons in our lives when it comes to this stuff.
And this series, as it's tracked along, has maybe spoken into different seasons of our lives.
And particularly maybe today, it's speaking to those, particularly of those of us who are married.
And here's the first thing I hope this does.
I really hope this helps some of us come up for air.
And here's what I mean by that.
So often I think we feel like we have to come in these doors on a Sunday,
maybe during the week, maybe your growth group, whatever it is you go to,
and pretend everything is great.
And that four-letter word that we always use to describe how we're doing, we're doing fine.
And I hope this is permission for many of us in this room today
to know that it's okay to not be okay.
I always love what C.S. Lewis said about friendship.
To paraphrase, he said,
Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to the other person,
What, you too?
I thought I was the only one.
And so may this passage today help us as a church family make and find friends who know what it's like.
And the ultimate friend is the Lord Jesus.
And this is the second thing I hope this helps us see today.
It helps us see that this point's beyond married life.
And it shows us, secondly, where to run for help.
Right?
And here's what I mean by that.
If what I'm saying, if this whole less fire, more fridge,
it is easy for us to do that in terms of our love for Jesus.
And what this is going to do today is help us see how wonderful,
how willing, how available, and how brilliant a Savior Jesus is.
Ready for this?
I'm going to go with that silence and go for yes.
Okay?
Brilliant.
Come with me to the passage.
Let's see how this works together.
Last week, we saw this couple on their wedding day.
Do you remember it?
JT did a wonderful job taking us through that last section.
That wedding day, a moment that ended,
if you see the text, verse 1 of chapter 5.
Do you see it?
With their friends egging on this couple to eat, drink, and be drunk with love.
And that sounds like Taylor Swift lyrics if ever I've heard them, right?
Eat, drink, be drunk with love.
And you could almost picture them, couldn't you?
Setting off into the sunset in their car, tin cans rattling in the back.
I don't know whether people still do that or not today,
but with the words just married emblazoned on the back windscreen.
And they're there in the car, and they're taking a selfie of themselves,
the couple sharing it on Instagram.
Everyone's liking it, heart emojis everywhere.
And I thought to myself, wouldn't that be a great place to end the song?
No.
Because maybe like you, like me,
I remember reading that the first time I came across it,
and I'm thinking to myself, seriously?
From the west of Scotland,
cheese factor 100.
I thought this was church, not Disney.
Surely this is way more idealism than it is realism.
Well, if you're like me, if that was maybe your thought when we did it last week,
this today is life after the honeymoon.
And picking up the song again at verse 2,
to quote that 60s classic,
they've lost that loving feeling.
Now, what does she tell us?
Come with me to the text and see it.
She says,
I slept, but my heart was awake.
Do you see it in the text?
Which I think is her way of telling us that she's had another dream.
Remember she had a dream a few chapters ago?
Here she is having another dream.
And given this is a dream,
it's quite hard to work out exactly what's going on here,
but here's my best shot.
I think her dream is revealing what's playing on her mind.
You ever had a dream like that?
Just your subconscious kind of brings stuff out in a dream,
and it's really weird,
but actually it's what's going on in your mind.
I think that's kind of what's going on here.
Her dream is revealing what's going on in her subconscious,
what she's worried about.
And in her case,
it's revealing a tension
that I think she senses in the back of her head
is snowballing and developing in their relationship together.
Come and see how this works.
She says,
In her dream,
my beloved knocked.
Do you see it?
Which is just another way of saying
he's in the mood for love.
However,
look at how she responds to his advances.
Verse 3,
he's knocking on that door.
You've got to clock that knock
for where we're going to finish.
He's knocking on that door,
and she responds,
verse 3,
I put off my garment.
How could I put it on again?
I'd bathe my feet.
How could I spoil them again?
Which is her way of saying,
for whatever reason,
I'm just not in the mood.
It's too much hassle.
And by verse 5,
do you see by the time she does feel in the mood,
and notice the three times repeated phrase,
but,
there at verse 6.
But,
but,
her man
was no longer there.
And again,
remember,
likely still in this dream,
she goes in this all-out search for him,
around the city,
no one's seen him.
Where is he?
And I think the beating that she's described
as having received at verse 7,
friends,
I think it's a metaphor.
Remember,
this is a dream,
that it's expressing the fact
that this tension in the relationship
is making her feel
like the stuffing
has been completely knocked out
of her in life.
Right?
My kids love the bear factory.
Have you ever been there?
Princess Street,
you know,
it's still there.
You just get these bears
who are just lifeless.
Right?
Just all this stuffing
has been taken out.
That's what she's saying.
She feels like life
has just knocked the stuffing out of me.
So,
do you see what's going on?
Put these two things together.
He wants to spend time with her.
She's not really up for it.
But then she wants to spend time with him.
And he's not there.
Which,
bring that together,
means Houston,
we've got a problem.
And let me just pause at this moment
and make two quick applications
as we see this tension
in their marriage.
And here's number one.
And it's to those of us
who would maybe love to be married,
but aren't.
Let me,
let you hear me say,
friends,
those desires are not wrong.
But,
they are misguided
if,
deep down,
you think
that getting married
is going to be the answer
to all your problems.
I think in Christian circles
in particular,
we can subtly elevate marriage
as the thing
to which we all aspire.
I think we've got to be so careful,
haven't we,
that we never project
that idea
even subconsciously
in our church culture.
It is not the be-all
and end-all.
Particularly when you think about
where this is going to end
this morning.
It's certainly not
where we find our identity.
Speaking as one
who is happily married,
and you do the math,
so there's one
punching well above his weight.
I remember when I got married,
just discovering
a whole host
of different problems
in my life,
90% of which
was just my own sin
being revealed
in new ways.
marriage isn't going
to solve all your problems.
But here's number two,
speaking particularly
to those of us
who are married.
You know,
there will be seasons
in married life
when it's harder
to find time together,
right?
Been there, done it.
And there's all sorts
of reasons
why finding time
to be together
is going to be difficult.
Maybe it's
a really busy season
at work.
Maybe it's just
night shifts galore.
Maybe you're
traveling a lot.
Maybe it's
looking after
family members.
It's one of those seasons.
Maybe kids have come along
and your energy levels
are taking an absolute
pounding and it's just
baby brain
everywhere.
Different seasons
come and go in life.
But that said,
if in our marriages
we keep finding ourselves
using the phrase,
the one on the screen,
you know the one
that we always use,
like ships in the night,
is at least worth
asking ourselves
the question,
is this a season
or is it a pattern?
And,
I'm speaking from
my own mistakes here,
be aware that you
might not see that
as a problem.
But it is entirely
possible that your
spouse might.
And the encouragement
here is to talk
to one another.
You know,
we live in a world
that is increasingly
saying that if you're
in a marriage to someone
and you're no longer
feeling it,
it's no longer doing it
for you,
it's no longer
scratching that itch,
then it might be time
to start looking
elsewhere.
And I think that's why
that the statistics
are telling us
that more and more
people in our world
are delaying marriage
or even dismissing it
as a viable option
entirely because
why would you want
to restrict yourself
like that?
I'm so conscious
I still like to think
I can kick it at 39.
I'm still on my
football team
WhatsApp group.
There are,
I think,
almost just short
of 80 guys
on that group.
I'm so conscious
that there are
maybe three or four
of us that are married
in that group.
And I'm certainly
the only one I think
with more than one kid.
But it's what's going
on in our world
isn't it right now?
Statistics will tell you
that.
But come to Jesus
and hear him say
that if you're primarily
in a relationship
for you
and what you can get
out of it
rather than in it
to serve the other
person sacrificially
then you've got it
the wrong way around.
We follow a saviour
who calls us
to die to self
to take up our cross
to follow him.
It's not about
self-serving.
Remember we thought
about this in week one
what this book
is telling us
is marriage life
is not about
self-serving
it's about radical
self-giving
and the promise
that Jesus makes
that it is there
as we follow
our saviour
as we die to ourselves
as we live
to serve him
and live to serve his people
that that's the place
that we'll find ourselves.
And that's why
because that's the
the noise out there
that is why
remember we said this
a few weeks ago
we need to turn down
the world's song
and we need to turn up
the voice of God
as we hear it
in the song of songs.
Out with our affection for
and our walk with Jesus
is where we're going to finish.
There is no more
important thing
than we can be
giving ourselves to
if we're married
than investing
in the health
of our marriages
and so this is an invitation
to get proactive
to get creative
in stoking the fire.
Here's a question for you
if you are married
and I ask myself
that all the time
because Alex's
love language is time
when was the last time
you spent quality time together?
You know we are so grateful
for the many people
in this church family
who over the years
have babysat for Alex and I
and have allowed us
just to go out
for a meal together.
You know often those meals
are based around
cheap it is on deals
with a burger
because we're British
and we love a bargain
but do you know what
they have proved to be
priceless times
for our relationship
and if you're here
and you may be thinking
actually we'd love
a bit of that
reach out for babysitters.
I love the fact
that we're in a church family
where people are so willing
to do that
and let me just say as well
if you're here
and you're thinking
this isn't where I'm at
remember we thought
about last week
don't think that this
doesn't affect you
because a church family
we're invested in each other
and so if you're maybe thinking
I'm not married
let me just say
that you have got a stake
in the health
of the marriages
of the people
that are in this church family.
Thank you for those
who pray for us.
Because here's what
I want you to see
if you come with me
to verse 9
on that note
it's the input
of her friends
that change the game.
So don't think
you've not got a role
to play here
if you're from the outside
looking into people
that are married
in this church
you've got such a role
to play
you have a stake
and verse 9
tells you that you do.
Remember this song
remember the friends
who are in the background
of this song
here's what they say
how is your beloved
better than others?
How most beautiful
of women
question mark
how is your beloved
better than others
than you so charge us?
Do you see how
that's not a closed question?
Do you see how
it's an open question?
One that invites
a response.
Can I paraphrase it?
Tell us again
why you love him.
Yeah?
Tell us what
made you fall in love
with him in the first place.
And see if last week
was all about him
pouring out compliments
on her
well from verse 10
she is now
pouring out
the compliments
on him.
Now
see them
from verse 10
and remember
this is a different
generation
from ours
remember the
images
are very much
different
but go with it
okay
she says
his heads
so do you see what
she says
this guy's like a
just for men
hair dye model
it is jet black
his eyes
his cheeks
his lips
so he's a just for men
hair model
he's a Nivea
lip balm model
as well
do you see
they are like the lilies
they are red and kissable
that's what she's saying
his arms
his body
so he's clearly
no stranger
to the gym
and just in case
we're in any doubt
verse 15
he's not skipped
leg day either
do you see it
but do you see
what she's doing
do you see what
she's conveying
to all those
who will listen
she's using
poetic language
and this is so
important for where
we're going to finish
poetic language
to describe
the strength
the stability
the majesty
and the beauty
of the man
who's captured
my heart
but see what
she also says
and I love this
what else
is he
to her
verse 16
do you see it
my beloved
and
my friend
and so here's the thing
as much as David Hasselhoff
as this guy
might like to be
all that stuff's
going to fade
it's true in life
isn't it
all our looks
are going to fade
they're going to go
turn 40 on Tuesday
I'm so aware of it
getting old
but do you know what
friendship
won't
and so her friends
ask her again
at chapter 6
where is he
and I think we're
meant to understand
at this point
from
chapter 6
she awakens
from her dream
remember she's been
in a dream
she can't find him
she's panicking
she awakens from her dream
and her man's been there
the whole time
and then we get that
repeated refrain
verse 3
I am his
and my beloved
is mine
and we're meant to
understand that there's
a glorious
reunion here
they are back together
and they're looking
each other in the eye
and so as we
see their union
together just at the
end here
this passage
invites all of us
married or not
however you would
describe yourself
today
to something
way
bigger
and so let me
take you to the
only place in the
New Testament
I think you can
make a case
that the Song of Songs
is alluded to
and we find it
in
Revelation
chapter 3
and what's going on
there
Revelation chapter 3
Jesus speaking
to the church
these seven churches
he's speaking
to the church
in Laodicea
and in this church
in Laodicea
it is full of people
who were once on
fire for Jesus
right
all they wanted to
talk about
was Jesus
but now
with the passing
of time
they've just kind of
settled
for this
cold
orthodoxy
Jesus is
oh they still
like him
but he's kind of
just this
weekend hobby
that is kind of
the veneer
on this
religious
looking life
that's like
one of those
chocolate Easter eggs
that just looks
great on the outside
but it's hollow
on the inside
their spiritual
life's airplane
mode is well
and truly on
not all that
fussed with
Jesus
remember back
to where we
started
once fire
now fridge
yeah
and to rouse
them
from their
spiritual
sleepiness
Jesus says
do you know
how you taste
to me
lukewarm
can you taste
it
lukewarm
you know
I love
two types
of coffee
I love
frappuccinos
cold
really cold
incredible
the other
type of coffee
boiling hot
latte
really really hot
but you know
what's the worst
taste ever
so you've got
a really hot
coffee
and you've just
forgotten about it
for half an hour
and then you
quickly take a sip
and bleh
disgusting
it's the same
with the
frappuccino
when you've left
it for half an hour
and it's kind of
warmed up a little
bit
bleh
that's what
Jesus is saying
can you taste it
you're neither
hot nor cold
and maybe you're
asking yourself
how do I know
if I'm lukewarm
and I've asked
myself that often
over the years
you know my
greatest fear in
life
is that I get
really good at
this job
I get really
comfy in church
and I just get
bored with Jesus
how do I know
friends
have you lost
the joy
of knowing
him
has bible
reading become
routine
has prayer
become
token
has coming
to church
just become
a thing
that
kills
and fills
a bit of
time
on a Sunday
morning
have you
lost
maybe
the
joy
of serving
him
have you
noticed
inside
of you
I often
catch myself
doing this
there's a
critical spirit
that's developing
inside of you
you're so aware
in church
of the things
that aren't
going well
the things
that are
lacking
rather than
looking for
the signs
of the spirit
at work
if you
recognize
any of
those signs
and you
want to
change
then here's
a great
place to
start
and
taking
a cue
from the
friends
in this
song
what made
you fall
in love
with Jesus
in the
first
place
you know
was it
his
boundless
compassion
for
utterly
helpless
people
was it
his
unrivaled
wisdom
to any
question
that people
put to
him
was it
the way
that people
said of
him
that he
does all
things
well
was it
the way
that he
saw
and remember
this for
me was
one
that he
perfectly
diagnosed
the human
heart
the world
that he
was describing
was the
one that I
was looking
in and
seeing
was it
his
unhurried
love and
pursuit
of
flustered
people
was it
the barriers
he was
willing to
cross to
reach
societies
outcasts
and nobodies
was it
his
sacrificial
death
on the
cross
as he
took our
sin and
shame on
himself
as he
said
father
not my
will
but your
will be
done
friends
what first
drew you
to Jesus
what made
you fall
in love
with him
I've loved
it the last
couple of
weeks hearing
testimonies
of people
I love a
testimony
it is like
hearing from
someone who
has just
gone on
their first
date with
the person
they're going
to marry
in the
future
isn't it
right I
remember at
uni having
that experience
my flatmate
Ben came
home we're
up to like
three in the
morning telling
me about
this girl
Nikki that
he'd met
and in the
weeks to
follow I
could hear
him on the
phone tower
in the
bedroom doing
the whole
you hang
up no
you hang
up I
will come
in there
and hang
on that
phone if
you don't
hang up
but what
first drew
you to
Jesus in
the first
place do
you need
this morning
some of
us to
regain
that wonder
at who
he is
just like
in the
man the
man in
the song
here's the
wonderful
bit
Jesus is
knocking
here I
am I
stand
this is
what he's
saying to
the church
in Laodicea
here I
am I
stand at
the door
and knock
if anyone
hears my
voice and
opens the
door I
will come
in and
eat with
that person
and they
with me
he moves
from warning
why does
he give
them the
warning
because he
then moves
to wooing
and this
is the
Jesus that
we have
today and
you know
what the
wonderful
thing is
if you
just take
it straight
from the
text
like the
man in
this song
when the
woman wakes
and finds
him right
there with
her
do you know
what we all
need to know
today
when we turn
back to him
when we fix
our eyes on
who he is
however
spiritual
sleepy we
might be
and whatever
season of
life we
might be
in we
need to
know
that Jesus
is going
nowhere
have you
lost
sight
of how
wonderful
how
brilliant
how
committed
and how
available
a saviour
we have
in Jesus
turn to
him this
morning
turn to
him
you know
I found
so helpful
over the
last month
or so
just looking
for a
quick
thing
to do
you know
John's
gospel
21
chapters
days of
the week
7
7 divided
by
21
divided
by
7
3
just
found it
so helpful
every night
during the
week to
read 3
chapters of
John's
gospel
get it
done in
a week
go back
to the
beginning
read 3
chapters of
John's
gospel
get to
the end
go back
to the
beginning
and see
the things
that you
notice
in a book
that you
thought you
knew
I love
the
intentionality
of this
woman
when she
realizes
he's
knocking
she's
going
she's
looking
I wonder
if the
Lord by
his spirit
would stir
in us
that same
intention
to pursue
Jesus
today
you know
just as we
close
let me just
leave us
with this
thought
because I
think this
is the
the spirit
inspired
response that
we need to
make to
this text
today
you know
before Alex
and I
moved back
to Edinburgh
in 2012
we used
to live
in Bristol
and there
was a street
in Bristol
called
Muller Road
and I
had a friend
called Amy
who used
to live
in a big
house in
Muller Road
and her
flatmates
nicknamed
it Fruit
Corner
which if you
know your
yogurts I
thought was
quite funny
but Muller
Road was
named after
this man
called
George Muller
famous Christian
evangelist
best known
for building
five houses
for orphaned
children
in which
10,000 children
were cared
for before
his death
right
he's celebrated
in the city
George Muller
so many things
going on in his
life
if you're looking
for a biography
to read
of somebody
maybe over the
summer
fantastic one
to get your
your hands on
George Muller
somebody once
asked him
with so many
things pressing
against his
to-do list
how he did
it
and he
said this
he said
the first
great and
primary business
to which I
ought to
attend every
day
is to have
my soul
happy in
the Lord
I love
that
have my
soul happy
in the Lord
you know I've
tried to be
I want to be
better at this
first thing
getting up in
the morning
putting away
the phone
and picking
up the word
here is the
saviour who's
knocking
friends have
you forgotten
how wonderful
he is today
let me pray
Jesus
what a
beautiful name
son of God
son of man
lamb that
was slain
joy and
peace
strength and
hope
grace that
blows all
fear away
Jesus
what a
beautiful name
and so
father I
pray this
morning
whatever
this has
landed
on our
hearts
and in
our
lives
that you
would
help us
Lord to
lift our
eyes to
Jesus
father thank
you that
there is
more grace
in him
than there
is sin
in us
and so
father I
pray for
those of
us here
today who
are married
father who
are maybe in
relationships
where it's
tough
lord I
pray that
you would
help
lord in
those
situations
thank you
that you
are available
thank you
that we were
singing at
the start
that you
are a
refuge
lord you
are a
very present
help in
times of
trouble
but father
we pray
that you
would lift
our eyes
to Jesus
his greatness
today
father thank
you for
your word
thank you
that we
have it in
our language
thank you
that we
can read
it pick
up understand
and learn
but father
thank you
most of
all that
through it
we can
know
Jesus
for
ourselves
so father
thank you
be with us
just as we
close our
time together
we pray
in Jesus
name
amen