WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.379 Special time of being able to worship him, despite circumstances, ascribing worth to him. 00:00:07.379 --> 00:00:11.359 And would we be people who give him the ultimate worth? 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:14.140 And that was the kind of thing that I shared. 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:16.339 And then we had this time where we were able to practice that. 00:00:16.920 --> 00:00:18.660 And of course, that was a joyful kind of worship. 00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:23.579 And I mentioned how Africans always have this gift in leading us in joyful worship. 00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:28.259 There's just something that the rest of us cultures are still lacking far behind and we're trying to figure out. 00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:35.320 But this week, as I was wrestling with what I wanted to talk about, something really hit on my kind of heart. 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:38.020 Well, something that is the opposite of joy. 00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:43.060 And one of the disciplines I want to talk about today is actually the one of lamenting. 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:46.719 And we're going to swing right on the way, all the way to the other side. 00:00:46.799 --> 00:00:49.600 Last week, I said, if we're to worship, we first have to reflect. 00:00:50.020 --> 00:00:54.560 We have to remember who God is, remind ourselves who God is, and then we have to respond to him. 00:00:54.980 --> 00:00:56.500 And that's where our worship comes from. 00:00:56.539 --> 00:01:01.600 God, whatever I'm going through, I now choose to think about you and who you are and what you've done. 00:01:01.719 --> 00:01:03.340 And because of that, I worship you. 00:01:03.340 --> 00:01:05.820 And I said, to rejoice is a choice. 00:01:06.260 --> 00:01:07.659 You have to choose to rejoice. 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:10.460 When things aren't going well, you have to choose to rejoice. 00:01:11.320 --> 00:01:15.659 And today, I'm going to tell you, actually, the journey to joy is a long journey. 00:01:16.520 --> 00:01:17.620 It's a painful journey. 00:01:18.620 --> 00:01:25.500 Often, that journey to joy starts with desolation, starts with distress, starts with sorrow. 00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:30.599 And it's through that, if we are able to move through that, then we end up with joy. 00:01:30.700 --> 00:01:38.079 And so we're talking about the spiritual discipline of prayer, but maybe more specifically, the prayer of tears is what Richard Foster would call it. 00:01:38.140 --> 00:01:42.480 The prayer of tears where we actually go to God to grieve to lament. 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:49.600 And that's why it's a hard topic for a lot of us, because actually, as a society, I don't know how well we grieve. 00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:53.159 I don't know how well we grieve at all. 00:01:53.260 --> 00:02:00.760 Recently, I had a colleague who, in my eyes, had the most horrific thing happen to his family, losing a baby. 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:04.540 And I was just like, that grief. 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:08.740 I don't even know how to process it. 00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:11.599 I don't even know how to talk to you about it. 00:02:12.920 --> 00:02:15.000 And we were talking because, you know, I was reflecting. 00:02:15.180 --> 00:02:17.700 Actually, I've spent over half my life now without my dad. 00:02:17.759 --> 00:02:19.140 My dad died suddenly. 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:22.640 Actually, I lost all my grandparents during my teen years. 00:02:23.420 --> 00:02:25.680 And so I'm acquainted with grief. 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:36.200 And I was sharing with him, actually, often, I think I only trust people, really trust people who are acquainted with grief, who have truly been through it, who know the loss. 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:43.200 And I was telling him, this pain that you're feeling right now, I can imagine, is the sharpest kind of pain that is just searing. 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:44.980 You can literally physically feel it. 00:02:45.580 --> 00:02:47.260 But the grief also never goes away. 00:02:48.100 --> 00:02:51.500 I was having another prayer with someone else the other day, and I was actually reflecting. 00:02:51.500 --> 00:02:52.680 Actually, I'm still grieving. 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:57.300 22 years on, after losing my dad, I'm still grieving, but the grief has changed. 00:02:57.879 --> 00:02:59.760 The grief has changed the way I was reflecting. 00:03:00.200 --> 00:03:08.120 The thing that I grieve about right now in this season is that I don't get to crack open a beer and talk to my dad as a fellow adult. 00:03:08.599 --> 00:03:10.319 To be able to just have a conversation. 00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:13.620 He knew me as a spotty, annoying teenager. 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:15.240 And that was all it was. 00:03:15.860 --> 00:03:21.920 Most of his conversations revolved around me hiding from him and him trying to tell me that he knows. 00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:23.700 But that he still loves me. 00:03:24.659 --> 00:03:28.760 I haven't been able to sit down with him now and go, that's what I'm going through with my children. 00:03:29.260 --> 00:03:32.719 That's what I'm going through with the circumstances I have. 00:03:33.060 --> 00:03:39.920 And I watch people, many of us, who still have the blessing to be able to speak to a father and to have a dad as an adult friend. 00:03:40.600 --> 00:03:41.280 That's a gift. 00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:45.060 And I was like, oh, I think I'm, that's what I'm grieving now. 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:47.200 It never truly ends. 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:50.339 Because the point is, do we know how to grieve? 00:03:50.799 --> 00:03:54.939 So I know we're, maybe you're getting a bit of whiplash here because we start, last week we were talking about joyful worship. 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.019 And this week we're talking about grieving. 00:03:57.399 --> 00:03:59.639 But my question to you is, do you know how to grieve? 00:03:59.859 --> 00:04:00.959 And I think it is a discipline. 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:05.319 I think it is a discipline of, the discipline of lamenting. 00:04:05.839 --> 00:04:09.079 If you categorize the different Psalms, and there's different ways to do it. 00:04:09.080 --> 00:04:15.200 But if you loosely categorize all the different types of Psalms, the one that is overwhelmingly the most is lamenting. 00:04:15.740 --> 00:04:19.840 Over 40% of the Psalms would be classed as lamenting. 00:04:20.420 --> 00:04:24.800 Which means you're just grieving, you're just going out and just telling, you're just venting to God. 00:04:26.400 --> 00:04:30.160 It's interesting, if you look at, I told you about the worship song charts that we have these days. 00:04:31.240 --> 00:04:34.480 They did look, actually under 10% of the songs are now about lamenting. 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:39.319 So somewhere along the way, we've lost the art of grieving. 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:44.240 Actually, even, I'm struggling to kind of get my thoughts together this morning. 00:04:44.300 --> 00:04:48.480 Because I was like, actually, even in that space where the team were leading us, and me here were talking about this. 00:04:48.520 --> 00:04:50.379 This whole week we've been wrestling with this topic. 00:04:51.140 --> 00:04:53.580 And then Rebecca, we just said, actually there's something here. 00:04:54.580 --> 00:04:56.020 I think there are people here. 00:04:56.080 --> 00:05:00.640 I'm not even going to ask you to put your hand up because I know there are people here who are grieving. 00:05:00.639 --> 00:05:06.259 I know there are people here who need that space to lament. 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:12.339 There are people in this community, key members in this community, who we can't even share about yet, who are hurting. 00:05:13.899 --> 00:05:16.120 And it would be wrong for me to say, hey, be joyful. 00:05:16.919 --> 00:05:18.180 Put a smile on your face. 00:05:18.759 --> 00:05:21.000 Trade your sorrows and clap and dance. 00:05:22.740 --> 00:05:28.680 But I tell you, to get to that joy, you must go through the tunnel of sorrow. 00:05:28.680 --> 00:05:32.519 And that's what I'm going to be hopefully trying to share about. 00:05:32.620 --> 00:05:35.319 And thankfully, I'm not going to be the only one who shares about it. 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:37.939 Because I think we all have different ways to grieve. 00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:42.819 Sadly, as a society, the way that we grieve the most now is just by putting something on to watch it. 00:05:43.100 --> 00:05:44.100 Watch Netflix. 00:05:44.400 --> 00:05:45.199 That's how we grieve. 00:05:45.540 --> 00:05:48.319 We get ourselves addicted to other things so we can be distracted by other things. 00:05:48.360 --> 00:05:50.540 So we don't need to think about the things that are actually giving us pain. 00:05:51.500 --> 00:05:53.699 Or we just go onto Instagram and we just scroll and scroll. 00:05:53.960 --> 00:05:55.420 And hope it helps us feel better. 00:05:55.420 --> 00:05:59.740 And then each time get surprised that our soul just sinks further and further and further. 00:05:59.980 --> 00:06:06.400 And we realize, actually, this session of doom scrolling that has lasted anywhere between two minutes and two hours has not helped me. 00:06:07.819 --> 00:06:10.640 And so we don't have the tools to grieve. 00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:16.360 There are actually other societies for these many, many years who actually have these kind of grieving ceremonies. 00:06:17.139 --> 00:06:21.960 Actually, when a kid goes into adulthood, there's a ceremony to celebrate them heading into adulthood. 00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:24.660 But it's also grieving the childhood that they're leaving behind. 00:06:24.660 --> 00:06:25.920 We don't do any of those things. 00:06:25.980 --> 00:06:27.160 We don't initiate our children. 00:06:27.520 --> 00:06:28.860 We don't bring them into adulthood. 00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:29.980 And we don't grieve. 00:06:30.060 --> 00:06:31.500 We don't teach them how to grieve. 00:06:31.800 --> 00:06:34.220 Because mostly we ourselves don't know how to grieve. 00:06:34.460 --> 00:06:39.160 And you can tell that by the rising cases of depression, the rising cases of suicide. 00:06:39.300 --> 00:06:42.400 We don't know how to lament and grieve. 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:47.100 Yet you see in the book of Psalms, they're just grieving everywhere. 00:06:47.660 --> 00:06:49.800 They're just lamenting everywhere. 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:51.420 So I'm praying. 00:06:53.079 --> 00:06:55.319 I'm praying that today we have a space to try that. 00:06:56.040 --> 00:06:58.980 And I'm praying that it's a safe space for us to try that. 00:06:59.560 --> 00:07:01.879 I was asking Christine, I was like, how do you think we should do this? 00:07:02.500 --> 00:07:03.720 And she was like, I don't know. 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:04.480 This could go anywhere. 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:11.819 And I was like, let's just step cautiously, humbly, and openly into this space. 00:07:11.819 --> 00:07:20.139 And even as I'm speaking to you now, I see there are those of you who resonate with that, who are grieving, who are lamenting. 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:25.159 In scripture, I find it comforting that you see grief everywhere. 00:07:26.180 --> 00:07:30.980 Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, my wife's favorite prophet, was famous for grieving. 00:07:31.620 --> 00:07:32.939 He wrote the book of Lamentations. 00:07:33.659 --> 00:07:35.800 Habakkuk, the prophet, is constantly grieving. 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:40.019 Jesus himself said, blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 00:07:41.819 --> 00:07:45.879 You see, he loses his friend Lazarus, and I'll talk a little bit more about that later. 00:07:46.040 --> 00:07:47.000 And he grieves. 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:49.980 He sits on a mountain and looks at the city of Jerusalem. 00:07:50.300 --> 00:07:51.300 And what does he do? 00:07:52.620 --> 00:07:53.019 Weeps. 00:07:55.219 --> 00:07:56.519 Our Lord knew how to grieve. 00:07:57.399 --> 00:07:58.560 Our Lord knew how to lament. 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:00.560 The question for us is, do we? 00:08:01.300 --> 00:08:02.600 The Psalms talk about this. 00:08:02.899 --> 00:08:03.579 Psalm 22. 00:08:04.219 --> 00:08:05.079 Jesus quotes it. 00:08:05.139 --> 00:08:05.939 He says, why? 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:08.779 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 00:08:09.959 --> 00:08:11.800 Psalm 42 is, as the deer pants for, 00:08:11.819 --> 00:08:14.659 water, so my soul yearns for you. 00:08:14.899 --> 00:08:17.399 My tears have been my food day and night. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:20.219 Why are you downcast, O my soul? 00:08:20.779 --> 00:08:26.079 Psalm 130 says, out of the depths of my soul, I cry out to you. 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:30.699 And probably the most famous of them all, and actually one of the shortest of them all, 00:08:30.740 --> 00:08:32.019 is Psalm 13. 00:08:32.659 --> 00:08:34.259 And that's the one we're going to be going through today. 00:08:34.340 --> 00:08:37.460 You'll be pleased to know as I go through it, verse by verse, that there is only six verses. 00:08:37.460 --> 00:08:43.519 Because I want us to be able to have some space to be able to at least respond to this ourselves. 00:08:43.800 --> 00:08:46.580 So at this point, I'm going to ask Josh to actually read Psalm 13. 00:08:46.700 --> 00:08:48.460 And can I invite us to stand for the word of God? 00:08:48.460 --> 00:08:57.340 So we're going to go through Psalm 13. 00:08:57.460 --> 00:08:59.540 We're reading out of the ESV translation. 00:08:59.720 --> 00:09:02.019 If you're following Psalm 13. 00:09:02.019 --> 00:09:05.159 How long, O Lord, to the choir master of Psalm of David. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:07.860 How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever? 00:09:08.419 --> 00:09:10.399 How long will you hide your face from me? 00:09:10.939 --> 00:09:15.699 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? 00:09:16.259 --> 00:09:18.840 How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 00:09:19.500 --> 00:09:21.740 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God. 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:25.139 Light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. 00:09:25.860 --> 00:09:28.360 Lest my enemy say I have prevailed over him. 00:09:28.860 --> 00:09:30.980 Lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. 00:09:30.980 --> 00:09:34.100 But I have trusted in your steadfast love. 00:09:34.420 --> 00:09:36.539 My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 00:09:37.060 --> 00:09:40.779 I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:42.440 This is the word of the Lord. 00:09:43.899 --> 00:09:44.740 Praise be to God. 00:09:44.860 --> 00:09:45.360 Thank you, Josh. 00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:46.019 Please take a seat. 00:09:47.580 --> 00:09:50.920 I told you I was writing a Psalm a day for 50 days and that one jumped out at me. 00:09:51.300 --> 00:09:54.019 Six verses so I had enough brain power to process it. 00:09:54.060 --> 00:09:57.700 He starts off by saying, how long, how long, O Lord, will you forget about me? 00:09:57.700 --> 00:10:01.700 And verse six, five verses later, he goes, and you have dealt bountifully with me. 00:10:01.800 --> 00:10:02.820 I was like, how did we get there? 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.640 Within six verses, you went from God, you have forgotten me. 00:10:05.680 --> 00:10:06.340 You don't care. 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.480 And six verses later, he's like, God, you have been so good to me. 00:10:09.540 --> 00:10:10.640 You have given me everything I need. 00:10:11.560 --> 00:10:12.460 How do we get there? 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:14.379 I think he's just taken the journey. 00:10:14.520 --> 00:10:16.740 Now, he's written it as a Psalm. 00:10:16.980 --> 00:10:19.440 But of course, you better know that this is a journey that he's taken. 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:22.400 It isn't just the five minutes that he's taken to write. 00:10:22.460 --> 00:10:23.060 He's gotten there. 00:10:23.059 --> 00:10:24.179 This is a long journey. 00:10:24.319 --> 00:10:29.359 And so I pray that as we absorb this, as we listen to this, let's not rush our own grief process. 00:10:29.459 --> 00:10:32.259 Let's not rush how we get from desolation to joy. 00:10:32.539 --> 00:10:35.219 Let us take the journey that's necessary to get there. 00:10:35.339 --> 00:10:37.639 And hopefully, we'll be able to follow what he says here. 00:10:37.699 --> 00:10:39.259 Just a couple of quotes, just to start us off. 00:10:40.059 --> 00:10:41.719 Richard Foster, as I quoted him, says this, 00:10:41.779 --> 00:10:44.619 Lament is the bridge between despair and hope. 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:48.059 It is the honest cry of a heart that refuses to give up on God, 00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:50.799 even when life is hard and God seems silent. 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:53.339 Eugene Peterson says this, 00:10:53.419 --> 00:10:57.799 Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart that refuses to let go of God. 00:10:59.139 --> 00:11:03.379 Yancey says, lament is the language of the soul in pain. 00:11:03.819 --> 00:11:05.139 We talked about worship last week. 00:11:05.259 --> 00:11:07.679 Keller actually said lament is a form of worship. 00:11:08.859 --> 00:11:11.899 How many of you spoke to God just like that Psalm 13 recently? 00:11:12.620 --> 00:11:16.099 Where you go, God, I'm so fed up with you hiding from me. 00:11:16.279 --> 00:11:18.079 I'm so fed up that you're not answering me. 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:21.680 I'm so fed up that you're not coming through for me in this scenario. 00:11:23.700 --> 00:11:27.620 Quite frankly, maybe not many of us do, especially in an Asian culture. 00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:29.520 We just don't talk to our fathers like that. 00:11:31.100 --> 00:11:32.340 And so we stay silent. 00:11:32.340 --> 00:11:38.620 And so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper. 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:42.340 Let us learn to lament today. 00:11:42.420 --> 00:11:43.220 He says, it's interesting. 00:11:43.300 --> 00:11:44.379 He says, how long? 00:11:44.500 --> 00:11:45.100 Four times. 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:48.440 In the space of two verses, he says, how long? 00:11:48.560 --> 00:11:49.220 How long? 00:11:49.639 --> 00:11:50.320 How long? 00:11:50.759 --> 00:11:51.340 How long? 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:55.120 A couple of weeks ago, Gabe led us to talk about the word of God 00:11:55.120 --> 00:11:59.320 and actually how you can use the word of God to basically help you fight these battles. 00:11:59.800 --> 00:12:01.220 And so we can try it here. 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:03.400 When he says, how long, oh Lord, will you forget me? 00:12:03.420 --> 00:12:05.379 He's saying, God, you don't care. 00:12:06.280 --> 00:12:07.700 You've forgotten about me. 00:12:07.760 --> 00:12:09.860 You've forgotten that you've left me in this ditch. 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:10.420 You don't care. 00:12:10.660 --> 00:12:13.560 But if you use the word of God, you go, actually, that is not true. 00:12:13.800 --> 00:12:16.540 You look at 1 Peter 4, he says, cast your anxieties onto me. 00:12:16.580 --> 00:12:16.760 Why? 00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:19.120 Because I care for you. 00:12:19.280 --> 00:12:22.360 So remind yourself in that moment where you're like, God, you don't even care about me. 00:12:22.400 --> 00:12:23.560 How long will you forget? 00:12:23.660 --> 00:12:24.740 You're so absent-minded. 00:12:24.740 --> 00:12:28.240 God's saying, I do care about you. 00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:29.620 And then he goes further. 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:32.240 He says, actually, it's not that you don't care and you've forgotten about me. 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:35.220 He says, how long will you hide your face from me? 00:12:35.419 --> 00:12:38.440 So this is a deliberate withholding of help. 00:12:39.419 --> 00:12:40.879 God, you know I need you. 00:12:40.919 --> 00:12:44.320 And yet somehow you're hiding behind the curtain and you won't even come out. 00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:47.480 You won't even let me see. 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:52.500 You won't even let me feel the joy that comes from being in your presence. 00:12:53.280 --> 00:12:55.760 That's honestly probably my biggest gripe with God. 00:12:56.780 --> 00:13:01.220 Because I hear people, him speaking to people left, right, and center and people feeling his presence. 00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:04.060 And I'm just sat there going, well, God, why aren't you showing up with me? 00:13:04.059 --> 00:13:10.339 Which is why one of my favorite Disney songs of all time is from Frozen 2. 00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:12.239 And it's Show Yourself. 00:13:13.179 --> 00:13:15.559 Honestly, when I, I mean, of course, I know it's not the Bible, guys. 00:13:15.639 --> 00:13:16.000 Calm down. 00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:21.479 There's that scene when, okay, you're going to judge me. 00:13:21.579 --> 00:13:26.899 Now, that scene when Elsa is riding on the horse and then the piano starts. 00:13:27.099 --> 00:13:29.319 Do you know, can you put your hand up if you know what I'm talking about? 00:13:29.500 --> 00:13:30.459 Just so I'm not alone. 00:13:30.539 --> 00:13:30.879 Thank you. 00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:32.099 Thank you. 00:13:32.100 --> 00:13:33.200 Thank you, ladies. 00:13:33.320 --> 00:13:34.040 Clearly, it's just the ladies. 00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:40.379 And she's riding on the horse and heading towards this, this abyss, this place. 00:13:40.500 --> 00:13:41.980 And the song, Show Yourself, starts. 00:13:43.560 --> 00:13:48.580 I still get goosebumps as I listen to it because I'm like, that's how it's going to be when I walk into eternity's gates. 00:13:48.680 --> 00:13:52.159 I'm going to be like, I have not seen you the whole of my life and I'm finally ready to see you. 00:13:52.220 --> 00:13:54.040 You're finally going to reveal yourself to me. 00:13:54.100 --> 00:13:57.060 You're going to show yourself to me and it's all going to make sense. 00:13:57.920 --> 00:13:59.940 Because if I'm honest, it doesn't make sense. 00:13:59.940 --> 00:14:02.140 Most of the time, it does not make sense in this world. 00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:05.540 And I ask that question, God, how long will you forget me? 00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:08.800 How long will you hide your face from me? 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:13.259 And yet Psalm 34 says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:16.279 And I don't understand that. 00:14:16.419 --> 00:14:20.219 I don't process that because my heart is broken, but I don't feel close to you. 00:14:20.959 --> 00:14:24.019 The psalmist at this point would say, I don't feel close to you. 00:14:24.339 --> 00:14:28.120 Whereas I would sit down and just get, well, maybe it's because it's me. 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:32.120 Maybe because I am not worthy of being in your presence. 00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:34.460 Do we lament? 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:40.000 And then he says, how long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? 00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:41.100 We know what this is. 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:45.100 If you've stayed in bed and you've just stirred and you're not able to sleep, you are just trapped in your own thoughts. 00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:45.860 That's what he's saying. 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:47.340 How long will you leave me here? 00:14:47.379 --> 00:14:48.120 I have no answers. 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:49.879 My mind is running around in circles. 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:51.120 I can't get anywhere. 00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:53.000 And you need to pull me out. 00:14:53.899 --> 00:14:55.139 But you're leaving me here. 00:14:55.139 --> 00:14:57.519 How long? 00:14:57.819 --> 00:14:58.379 How long? 00:14:59.460 --> 00:15:02.980 And then he says, finally, how long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:07.620 He's saying, this grief I'm going through, this pain I'm going through, this trial I'm going through, when will it end? 00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:11.319 When will it end? 00:15:11.319 --> 00:15:18.220 Because when we're grieving, if you've ever grieved before, one of the big feelings is, I don't know if this will ever end. 00:15:18.659 --> 00:15:21.059 I think I'm going to be stuck here forever. 00:15:21.059 --> 00:15:28.119 And even the song that says everything will be all right at the end doesn't help you. 00:15:29.859 --> 00:15:32.859 But the truth is, of course, it isn't the end. 00:15:34.379 --> 00:15:36.039 That Jesus says that he is the alpha and omega. 00:15:36.199 --> 00:15:37.659 He is the beginning and the end. 00:15:37.859 --> 00:15:39.979 In Revelation, he says he will have the final word. 00:15:40.059 --> 00:15:44.599 So when we are going through trauma, when we are going through grief and we're walking through the valley of the shadow of death, 00:15:44.839 --> 00:15:47.619 we can say, well, everything will be all right at the end. 00:15:47.619 --> 00:15:49.859 And if it isn't all right, it's because it's not the end. 00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:55.779 But still, we should still be in a place where we can tell God that. 00:15:55.939 --> 00:15:58.599 I'm just so fed up that this is so long. 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:01.779 This is taking way longer than I want it to. 00:16:03.939 --> 00:16:07.279 Do we have that confidence to approach him in that kind of way? 00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:11.699 Recognizing that he is the one that will have the final say. 00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:13.720 I want to pause here for a second. 00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:17.480 I'm actually going to invite Queenie, my friend, up to come and share with me. 00:16:17.520 --> 00:16:22.160 Because actually, I realize when it comes to this, there are just so many approaches to the issue of grief and lament. 00:16:22.280 --> 00:16:22.759 Come on, Queenie. 00:16:22.800 --> 00:16:24.220 Shall we give her a round of applause just to encourage her? 00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:34.639 We're going to treat that as a conversation because both of us have been busy this week and we haven't had a chance to even talk a little bit about this. 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:40.500 But I wanted to bring her up because I know this has been the journey for her. 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:44.120 And one of the most brightest minds. 00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:46.539 I mean, she's a sheep, but she's not stupid. 00:16:46.539 --> 00:16:51.079 There are others who are more so than that. 00:16:52.319 --> 00:16:55.360 But I know that this has been a journey that she's been on as well. 00:16:55.439 --> 00:17:00.299 And I want her to be able to share with you a little bit of what she's kind of gone through on this process of lamenting. 00:17:00.779 --> 00:17:04.259 Queenie, why don't you start off in telling us, because I know it's still quite fresh. 00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:07.899 Can you tell us why you even started on this journey in looking into this topic? 00:17:08.539 --> 00:17:08.799 Sure. 00:17:09.460 --> 00:17:13.899 So at the beginning of last year, I lost a very close friend to suicide. 00:17:13.900 --> 00:17:17.580 And so I found myself in not a great place. 00:17:18.259 --> 00:17:21.640 On the encouragement of some friends, I started going to counseling. 00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:25.600 And my counselor said, you should think about this thing called lamenting. 00:17:26.800 --> 00:17:36.380 And around that time, another very good friend of mine who also knew what I was going through suggested this book to me called Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy. 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:41.380 And so I read that book and that really was the beginning of it all. 00:17:41.380 --> 00:17:49.460 And tell us a little bit, as you went on this journey, you got the counseling, the reading, the praying. 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:53.800 What were some of the themes that were really jumping up at you that maybe you didn't really know beforehand? 00:17:53.799 --> 00:18:04.899 I would say that one can't actually immediately get to the end of Psalm 13 that we were looking at just now. 00:18:05.019 --> 00:18:06.859 One can't just suddenly get there. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:12.220 I continued to come to church and we would sing these worship songs. 00:18:12.619 --> 00:18:15.579 And songs like It Is Well, I couldn't sing it. 00:18:16.099 --> 00:18:17.700 I was like, it's not well. 00:18:17.700 --> 00:18:22.220 And so I found that I couldn't get to that place. 00:18:22.980 --> 00:18:29.880 And actually, I guess the book had a lot of practical suggestions, which was very helpful. 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:33.740 It talked about how there are four steps to lamenting. 00:18:34.360 --> 00:18:38.059 The first step being actually just turning to God. 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:43.340 Because actually this author, and actually what I'm saying today is basically all from this book. 00:18:43.339 --> 00:18:49.339 So the author says, to cry is human, but to lament is Christian. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:56.339 And so I think that's a distinguishing feature between being just a human and really being Christian. 00:18:56.659 --> 00:19:00.220 And that first step is turning to God and not walking away. 00:19:00.619 --> 00:19:05.000 Because it's very easy, I think, when things go badly to kind of want to walk away. 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:11.220 And then the next step is to be able to go to God and complain. 00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:17.480 And so I learned about how actually it's not unbiblical to go to God and complain. 00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:21.700 I mean, one might think, okay, we should all be holy and praise God and all that. 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:24.339 But there are moments when that really doesn't work. 00:19:24.339 --> 00:19:30.639 But then the book also very helpfully reminded me that I can't stay in that place of complaining. 00:19:31.179 --> 00:19:35.179 And so that really takes us to the third step. 00:19:36.299 --> 00:19:39.259 And the third step is to ask God boldly. 00:19:40.099 --> 00:19:44.639 So it's really going from the why did this all happen, and I don't get why this all happened, 00:19:45.259 --> 00:19:48.740 to trying to look more and think about God's character. 00:19:48.740 --> 00:19:52.700 And to ask him for his help and ask him to restore. 00:19:54.440 --> 00:20:01.120 And actually, the way that the Psalms do it, I think, sometimes is suddenly there will be these complaints, etc. 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:04.200 And then suddenly there will be a word, yet something, something. 00:20:04.279 --> 00:20:05.960 So yet God is holy. 00:20:06.099 --> 00:20:07.420 I think that's from Psalm 22. 00:20:07.980 --> 00:20:11.120 And so that helps turn one to look at his character. 00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:16.259 And that helps one kind of focus on him a bit more rather than just the why. 00:20:16.259 --> 00:20:21.440 And then the final step is the step we were looking at just now at the very end of that Psalm. 00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:24.240 And actually, that was the example that the book gave as well. 00:20:24.940 --> 00:20:28.920 So the fourth step is trusting God and turning to him to trust in him. 00:20:30.259 --> 00:20:32.440 And like you were saying, it says yet. 00:20:33.099 --> 00:20:34.259 Sorry, this one was but. 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:34.720 I'm so sorry. 00:20:35.019 --> 00:20:37.920 It says but his love is steadfast. 00:20:38.099 --> 00:20:40.879 And that really is that declaration of trust. 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:49.340 So I think I learned that basically one can't really get from that bad place to that place of I, yay, you know, trust God. 00:20:49.960 --> 00:20:52.960 And there is this process and it does take time. 00:20:54.020 --> 00:20:58.080 I'm thinking about that quote, to cry is human and to lament is Christian. 00:20:58.180 --> 00:20:59.520 I'm thinking what that means. 00:20:59.820 --> 00:21:01.240 And what does it mean for you? 00:21:01.260 --> 00:21:04.820 And how has that changed your way of processing grief and sadness? 00:21:05.300 --> 00:21:06.320 Has it changed at all? 00:21:06.420 --> 00:21:07.960 What's the distinction between the two? 00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:13.860 I think if one just cries, one is very easy to just stay there. 00:21:15.120 --> 00:21:25.799 And I would say from a faith perspective, when something like this happens, it's actually also very easy for me to just fall off a cliff and have a sort of massive faith crisis and just sort of stop there, I guess. 00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:27.799 But I think. 00:21:28.940 --> 00:21:37.139 But I think the journey of lamenting is what has enabled me to not lose my faith, I guess, and to stay with God. 00:21:37.140 --> 00:21:48.580 And actually, I actually don't know how anybody who's not a Christian can deal with grief, actually, because all this has just been so integral to my journey out of that sort of massive darkness. 00:21:48.579 --> 00:21:56.379 Yeah, because I remember maybe even as a 17-year-old, after I lost dad, I was like, actually, I haven't really cried much before, but now I'm just going to go all out. 00:21:56.639 --> 00:22:04.279 And, you know, if anyone has lost a loved one before, you'll probably have been there where you dig up all the things that remind you of them, and then you just stay there for hours. 00:22:04.460 --> 00:22:05.299 And you just keep going. 00:22:05.419 --> 00:22:06.519 And you just let it all out. 00:22:06.559 --> 00:22:07.240 And you just dig deep. 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:10.180 But as I grow old, I'm like, okay, what would that mean? 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:12.480 How would I do that with God? 00:22:12.740 --> 00:22:18.539 And I think about, let's say, Alicia, she falls over and she cries because she scrapes her knee. 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:24.960 It's one thing just sitting her by herself and just kind of crying, weeping because it hurts. 00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:32.059 And there's a whole other thing as a father, which is like, I wish that she would just come to me and let me hold her and hug her while she does essentially the same thing, right? 00:22:32.120 --> 00:22:33.559 And maybe there's two images there. 00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:35.880 And so tell us how you lament. 00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:38.420 I mean, what does that look like for you? 00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:41.920 Because no doubt there's always things to lament, right? 00:22:42.040 --> 00:22:43.360 And so how do you do it? 00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:45.140 Give us some ideas and inspiration. 00:22:45.660 --> 00:22:47.000 So I journal a lot. 00:22:47.340 --> 00:22:49.160 So I read a lot and I journal a lot. 00:22:49.500 --> 00:22:52.040 So one of the books I've shared with, I have a whole bunch of other books. 00:22:52.420 --> 00:22:55.140 So if anyone wants recommendations, feel free to let me know. 00:22:56.080 --> 00:23:01.340 And I find journaling helps me because it helps me go a little bit slower when I write things down. 00:23:01.360 --> 00:23:03.820 Because I tend to be a very sort of impatient sort of person. 00:23:03.820 --> 00:23:05.400 I sort of charge around and do lots of things. 00:23:05.880 --> 00:23:08.080 But writing it down will slow me down. 00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:15.819 And sometimes I find it helpful to read back what I've written before to help me process it again. 00:23:17.339 --> 00:23:18.839 Put your hand up if you journal. 00:23:19.859 --> 00:23:20.899 Is that something that you do? 00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:24.639 Journaling is super important. 00:23:24.839 --> 00:23:29.119 I think those of you who journal will kind of say yes because it slows you down completely. 00:23:29.659 --> 00:23:35.939 When he says, how long once I take counsel in my own soul, you're kind of just swirling and you just fly through things and you take shortcuts in your mind. 00:23:36.299 --> 00:23:39.979 Your synapses all merge together because you're just thinking about the same thing over and over again. 00:23:40.419 --> 00:23:45.899 When you journal, you force yourself to stop and go, okay, let me just put down what's on my mind. 00:23:46.219 --> 00:23:46.879 And I agree. 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:51.780 When you look back at some of the journals that you had in the previous years, you're like, oh, God. 00:23:52.280 --> 00:23:56.540 That's when the goodness of God starts to creep in because you're like, oh, God has been good. 00:23:56.800 --> 00:23:58.060 I was lamenting about that. 00:23:58.720 --> 00:23:59.740 But look where I am now. 00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:02.220 You know, and that's probably a big thing. 00:24:02.380 --> 00:24:05.740 And actually, when I was talking to my colleague who suffered this grief, he said, oh, I hate worship. 00:24:05.740 --> 00:24:06.180 Right. 00:24:06.900 --> 00:24:15.079 Do you feel like, especially when the Christians, they sing that goodness of God song and then you've got those people closing their eyes and smiling and singing and you're like, God is not good. 00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:17.019 I can't sing this song. 00:24:17.660 --> 00:24:18.059 Right. 00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:18.859 And there's that place. 00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:24.279 Share with us one final thing that you've been kind of mulling over and just personally in how you're replying. 00:24:24.579 --> 00:24:26.779 Just the principle of lamenting in your life. 00:24:27.700 --> 00:24:29.420 A bit like what you were saying earlier on. 00:24:29.500 --> 00:24:31.779 It is not a sort of one off thing. 00:24:32.059 --> 00:24:33.700 It's not a fast thing. 00:24:33.700 --> 00:24:38.000 I mean, actually, my counselor had said that to me before, but I never quite sort of believed her. 00:24:38.600 --> 00:24:47.180 I mean, after I spent some months lamenting and sort of trying to move out of that very difficult place, I felt I was in a better place and I probably was. 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:54.319 But then there were some triggers and then I found myself really struggling again a few months ago. 00:24:54.740 --> 00:24:58.660 And then so I was sitting around in this terrible place and thinking, what shall I do? 00:24:58.660 --> 00:25:05.340 And then I thought, OK, I better go and try and do all those things I was doing before the first time around. 00:25:05.460 --> 00:25:07.060 So I reread this book. 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:08.980 I journaled more, did all sorts of things. 00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:11.300 And that did help a lot. 00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:15.880 And I think that's really shown me that it's really not a once and for all thing. 00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:25.500 And actually, just whilst I was reading the reading the book again to prepare for today, I realized that the author also wrote that actually one has to just keep doing it, keep doing it. 00:25:25.500 --> 00:25:32.380 And I kind of had this revelation that actually the Psalms, a lot of them were written by David. 00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:38.579 And actually, there's no indication that he was writing about a different subject matter each time. 00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:46.220 So I can't preclude the possibility that he was actually sometimes having to lament also about the same circumstance or situation. 00:25:46.220 --> 00:25:51.160 So I think it helped me to feel that maybe it's not unbiblical to keep doing that. 00:25:51.700 --> 00:25:54.500 And I think practically, realistically, it's just got to be done. 00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:55.440 Thank you. 00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:57.240 Sorry, I said final, but I lied. 00:25:57.400 --> 00:25:58.240 One final final. 00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:03.839 For someone who sat here who actually is struggling with this, like, I've never done it. 00:26:03.980 --> 00:26:05.319 I don't want to, but I know I need to. 00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:07.600 What's one tip that you would give them? 00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:10.680 I would actually really say read this book, to be honest. 00:26:10.740 --> 00:26:12.100 Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy. 00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:14.500 I have a PDF of it if anybody wants it. 00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:20.380 But, I mean, for me, it's quite hard to just look at a sea of Psalms and go, OK, so they're lamenting. 00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:21.819 So let me do it. 00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:26.240 But I found the sort of step-by-step guidance in the book quite helpful. 00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:26.920 Yeah, OK. 00:26:27.319 --> 00:26:27.960 Well, thank you. 00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:28.400 Thank you, Phoebe. 00:26:28.519 --> 00:26:29.599 Can we give her a round of applause? 00:26:35.559 --> 00:26:38.079 I think I shared this confession to someone this week. 00:26:38.140 --> 00:26:39.940 I said, actually, the Psalms are not my favorite book. 00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.619 Because sometimes you just read over it, and it just kind of just flies over. 00:26:42.619 --> 00:26:43.599 And I'm just like, I'm not engaging. 00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:45.419 It takes me a long time. 00:26:46.039 --> 00:26:50.059 But what helps me is when I remember these Psalms were actually to do with real life. 00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:51.959 David had a whole ton of stuff happen. 00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:53.259 He had lost his baby son. 00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:56.179 He was chased down by an adult son trying to kill him. 00:26:56.419 --> 00:26:57.939 He was just constantly being chased down, actually. 00:26:58.219 --> 00:27:00.719 So there was plenty of moments and opportunities for grief. 00:27:01.059 --> 00:27:02.000 As do you. 00:27:02.339 --> 00:27:03.039 As do I. 00:27:03.579 --> 00:27:06.059 During COVID, I think my brother was saying this. 00:27:06.139 --> 00:27:10.819 Actually, we all really struggle with the idea of, actually, have we processed the grief of COVID? 00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:13.200 Have we processed the grief of these last few years? 00:27:13.259 --> 00:27:21.960 And actually, there are people who are near and dear to our hearts where those few years were just so isolating that we just haven't fully bounced back from it. 00:27:22.259 --> 00:27:24.799 And that we're still anxious whenever we walk into a social setting. 00:27:24.879 --> 00:27:29.579 That we are still prone to get triggered very quickly to go back into those spaces. 00:27:29.579 --> 00:27:33.779 And something that I learned during those times is actually it's just mixed. 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:35.220 You know, I asked you how your week was. 00:27:35.259 --> 00:27:36.759 And you say, it was mixed. 00:27:36.859 --> 00:27:38.019 There were good things and there were bad things. 00:27:38.179 --> 00:27:45.960 And that is just the nature of the Christian journey or just any life, for that matter, where you hold gratitude and grief hand in hand. 00:27:46.819 --> 00:27:49.819 And so we can worship and make a joyful noise, as we said last week. 00:27:49.899 --> 00:27:51.699 But we can also still grieve and lament. 00:27:51.700 --> 00:27:56.620 And we can do both things together within the short time and space of even six verses. 00:27:56.819 --> 00:28:02.700 We're able to bring all of those things to God in one beautiful mess and say, God, I am grateful for you. 00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:05.660 But I am also grieving and annoyed at you. 00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:07.620 All these things can be true. 00:28:07.660 --> 00:28:08.519 He says, how long? 00:28:08.620 --> 00:28:09.140 How long? 00:28:09.319 --> 00:28:09.779 How long? 00:28:09.819 --> 00:28:14.160 There's a time element to this, which is like, God, we want you to act and we want you to act now. 00:28:14.860 --> 00:28:17.000 It's kind of like kids who are saying, are we there yet? 00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:21.839 Are we at the place that you told us we would be going? 00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:25.200 And what it really is, is just a sense of trust. 00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:28.359 God, have you done what you needed to do yet? 00:28:29.079 --> 00:28:30.980 Have I learned what I needed to learn? 00:28:31.420 --> 00:28:33.859 And am I going through this in a place that I'm actually walking through? 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:39.240 That's why journaling is important, because you can't rush through journaling unless you type really, really fast and you're journaling on your iPad. 00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:47.460 But the art of writing, processing slowly is so important when it comes to the issue of lamenting. 00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:48.700 N.T. Wright says this. 00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:54.980 Actually, lamenting is what happens when people ask God why and he doesn't answer them. 00:28:57.180 --> 00:29:02.220 How many times have you asked God for something and he said, well, nothing. 00:29:02.980 --> 00:29:04.599 You'd almost want him to even say no. 00:29:04.599 --> 00:29:06.980 But he just doesn't say anything. 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.259 And that is the lamenting. 00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:10.019 How long? 00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:11.559 How long? 00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:19.019 I take comfort in the fact, as I'm going through that and I'm going through all those emotions, that Jesus himself went through those emotions. 00:29:20.059 --> 00:29:24.679 I said a few months back, John 11 has constantly just been coming back up on my mind. 00:29:24.879 --> 00:29:26.799 And it's been showing me a different side to Jesus. 00:29:26.899 --> 00:29:31.000 And of course, the very famous verse, which is Jesus wept, is there. 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:35.119 But the circumstances surrounding it were really interesting because he loses his friend Lazarus. 00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:39.140 He walks into town and then Mary and Martha go, oh, if only you were here. 00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:42.779 And then he goes, don't worry, he'll be back. 00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:45.819 Well, he doesn't say it in that voice or those words. 00:29:46.279 --> 00:29:47.619 But then he says, he'll be back. 00:29:47.799 --> 00:29:49.259 I'm going to raise him again. 00:29:50.480 --> 00:29:52.099 And so, and then he keeps walking. 00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:55.680 And then when he sees everyone crying, he weeps. 00:29:56.779 --> 00:29:58.660 And I'm like, that is so interesting. 00:29:58.660 --> 00:30:05.180 If I'm about to perform the greatest miracle that these people will ever witness until I die and rise again, again myself, 00:30:06.380 --> 00:30:08.400 I don't know if weeping was the first thing that I would do. 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:11.140 Because I'll be like, hey, it's okay, Kyle. 00:30:11.220 --> 00:30:13.400 I know you're worried about that exam. 00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:14.259 But don't worry. 00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:15.680 You're going to pass the exam. 00:30:17.480 --> 00:30:18.440 But he weeps. 00:30:19.620 --> 00:30:20.580 Have you ever wondered that? 00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:27.560 Why does he weep when he's just about to perform the miracle that will bring him back to life again? 00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:30.639 I think he's grieving. 00:30:32.799 --> 00:30:34.579 And he's not just grieving the loss of Lazarus. 00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:38.639 I think he's grieving because he's saying, this is not how it should have been. 00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:43.000 This is not how we created earth to be. 00:30:43.139 --> 00:30:45.359 This is not how we created life to be. 00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:47.579 These people are walking around and they're holding this hurt. 00:30:47.659 --> 00:30:50.859 And this was never supposed to be part of the equation. 00:30:50.859 --> 00:30:53.059 And it's interesting. 00:30:53.179 --> 00:30:54.779 He says, he weeps and he grieves. 00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:55.559 And then he keeps going. 00:30:55.639 --> 00:30:56.059 He says, don't worry. 00:30:56.099 --> 00:30:57.199 I'm going to bring him back to life. 00:30:57.379 --> 00:30:58.119 And then he walks further. 00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:01.419 And then this passage says in John 11, and then he was moved deeply again. 00:31:02.539 --> 00:31:08.519 And I'm just like, Jesus knows how it feels to go through grief. 00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:16.059 Even though he's the one who's going to turn it into sorrow, into joy, he still embraces that sorrow. 00:31:16.920 --> 00:31:18.299 And of course, to the point of death. 00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:20.319 He's in the garden of Gethsemane at the end. 00:31:20.339 --> 00:31:24.759 And he's like, I am filled with sorrow to the point where I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the cross. 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:27.139 He says, I'm filled with sorrow to the point of death. 00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.819 I might die here and not even be able to make it to the cross and save mankind. 00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:34.119 That's the kind of grief that he had. 00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:37.299 So it brings me comfort when I have that grief. 00:31:37.299 --> 00:31:41.799 And see, interesting, we're going to pivot now because he moves from verse 1 and 2 to verse 3. 00:31:41.879 --> 00:31:44.379 And he says, consider and answer me, O Lord, my God. 00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:46.419 Light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. 00:31:46.659 --> 00:31:48.359 Lest my enemies say I have prevailed over him. 00:31:48.460 --> 00:31:50.619 Lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. 00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:54.740 That structure that this psalm is showing us when it comes to lamenting is this. 00:31:54.799 --> 00:31:56.419 It starts with a cry and a complaint. 00:31:56.899 --> 00:31:58.759 You cry to God and say, God, why are you gone? 00:31:59.319 --> 00:32:00.019 Why are you distant? 00:32:00.119 --> 00:32:00.819 Why are you absent? 00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:02.299 And then it's a complaint. 00:32:03.379 --> 00:32:05.180 If you don't come back, this is going to happen to me. 00:32:05.740 --> 00:32:08.799 But then afterwards, after the cry and the complaint, he then moves into the request. 00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:10.680 And this is the journey that we can be on. 00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:15.000 So as you listen to me speak, ask yourself, actually, on my process of grief, where am I? 00:32:15.299 --> 00:32:17.019 Am I still in the crying and complaining stage? 00:32:17.019 --> 00:32:22.440 In which case, let me go all out and just give you an earful, God, because I have so much to cry about, so much to complain about. 00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:27.759 And then after that, we can come with the request and say, God, can you hear me? 00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:31.120 Can you respond to me? 00:32:31.960 --> 00:32:34.900 Can you save me from the thing that I'm going through? 00:32:34.940 --> 00:32:36.660 And actually, I was talking to another friend about this. 00:32:36.840 --> 00:32:40.620 If you're like me, then you'll have had lots of unanswered prayers. 00:32:40.619 --> 00:32:45.919 The problem with that is that your heart starts to get resentful. 00:32:46.879 --> 00:32:47.719 It starts to get bitter. 00:32:47.799 --> 00:32:57.439 And I was talking to a friend recently about this who was wanting to pray for, actually, for his injury to heal so he can continue with his life. 00:32:58.559 --> 00:33:01.719 And then we unpacked it to the point where he's like, you know what, but I can't even ask anymore. 00:33:02.659 --> 00:33:04.559 Because actually, God's never answered me for that prayer. 00:33:05.460 --> 00:33:08.559 And he said, I realize it's because I have some resentment in my heart. 00:33:09.179 --> 00:33:10.440 And I was like, oh, that's me. 00:33:11.659 --> 00:33:15.159 Actually, I've given up asking because he's never answered. 00:33:17.079 --> 00:33:19.339 And the problem is that resentment just builds up. 00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:21.259 And he gets to the point where you don't want to cry anymore. 00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:22.220 You don't want to complain anymore. 00:33:22.259 --> 00:33:23.500 You don't want to make any more requests anymore. 00:33:23.500 --> 00:33:27.480 Because you're just like, you've believed the lie, the fallacy that God is absent. 00:33:28.039 --> 00:33:28.639 God is distant. 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:29.980 God doesn't care. 00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:30.480 He's forgotten. 00:33:30.740 --> 00:33:32.099 He's hiding his face from you. 00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:34.200 But we must. 00:33:34.200 --> 00:33:38.539 He says, consider me, remember me, answer me, oh, Lord, my God. 00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:41.000 Not distant, far off God. 00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:43.539 Not far off genie. 00:33:44.340 --> 00:33:45.740 This is God, my God. 00:33:47.059 --> 00:33:51.580 And this is where I will never, ever want to stop fielding requests from my children. 00:33:52.580 --> 00:33:53.440 Whatever they ask. 00:33:54.920 --> 00:33:56.360 If it's McDonald's every day. 00:33:56.600 --> 00:33:57.519 If it's bubble tea every day. 00:33:57.559 --> 00:33:58.519 Look, you're not going to get it. 00:33:59.340 --> 00:34:00.740 But I want you to be there with me. 00:34:00.779 --> 00:34:03.539 I want you to know that I have the connection with you, that I want to talk to you about this. 00:34:03.539 --> 00:34:04.519 And the answer might be yes. 00:34:04.579 --> 00:34:05.319 The answer might be no. 00:34:05.399 --> 00:34:06.240 The answer might be maybe. 00:34:06.339 --> 00:34:07.399 The answer might be not yet. 00:34:09.619 --> 00:34:11.460 But I desire connection with you. 00:34:12.340 --> 00:34:13.440 My God. 00:34:14.279 --> 00:34:15.980 Because we think God is slow. 00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:19.719 But in one Peter, he says, actually, it's not a slow thing. 00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:23.439 Because God is beyond our time. 00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:26.199 So we think he's slow, but he's not. 00:34:26.279 --> 00:34:26.879 He's patient. 00:34:27.399 --> 00:34:28.079 He's kind. 00:34:28.919 --> 00:34:30.219 And he has his purpose. 00:34:30.319 --> 00:34:32.739 So can we, as his children, go to him and go, I hate this God. 00:34:32.819 --> 00:34:34.519 I hate the fact that I'm going through this tunnel. 00:34:34.579 --> 00:34:35.459 That I feel like this. 00:34:35.779 --> 00:34:36.579 Can you help me? 00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:41.599 I'll tell you, it's not easy to keep that heart where it doesn't become resentful. 00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:42.619 Where it doesn't become bitter. 00:34:42.619 --> 00:34:45.980 Bring your requests to God. 00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:49.339 Knowing that sometimes his answer is no. 00:34:49.779 --> 00:34:50.099 Maybe. 00:34:51.339 --> 00:34:56.099 Knowing that what he thinks is best is often painful as well. 00:34:57.679 --> 00:34:57.839 Right? 00:34:58.099 --> 00:34:59.400 C.S. Lewis is one of the things that says that. 00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:02.179 Actually, we're not doubting the fact that God knows what's best for us. 00:35:02.259 --> 00:35:05.299 What we're doubting is how, what we're asking is how painful it's going to be. 00:35:06.279 --> 00:35:06.519 Right? 00:35:06.519 --> 00:35:06.559 Right? 00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:10.380 Because, like, God, we know that this will, this will, you know, God works for the good 00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:11.039 of those who love him. 00:35:11.119 --> 00:35:11.579 Romans 8. 00:35:12.340 --> 00:35:13.639 But it doesn't mean it's not going to be painful. 00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:22.320 When I first graduated from teaching, I thought I'd be getting a teaching job straight away. 00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:24.820 And I remember going to the first interview at school. 00:35:24.940 --> 00:35:26.480 And I thought I, I thought I killed it. 00:35:26.619 --> 00:35:28.539 I thought the lesson, the lesson was great. 00:35:28.579 --> 00:35:28.980 I thought it was good. 00:35:29.019 --> 00:35:29.639 I was like, this is it. 00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:30.039 This is me. 00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:31.539 This is the school I'm going to be at. 00:35:32.199 --> 00:35:34.219 Already looking at my commute from where I'm going to live. 00:35:34.219 --> 00:35:37.339 And then afterwards, it was like, oh, no, sorry. 00:35:37.579 --> 00:35:38.659 It was a, you were close second. 00:35:38.919 --> 00:35:39.559 I was like, dang. 00:35:40.299 --> 00:35:41.659 And I was praying, God, I think this is it. 00:35:42.279 --> 00:35:45.059 This just matches perfectly with my, where I am and what I'm doing. 00:35:46.099 --> 00:35:46.799 And it wasn't. 00:35:47.539 --> 00:35:49.739 And then the second one came and it was this, and it was the same. 00:35:49.839 --> 00:35:52.019 I was like, oh, no, actually, thank God that you didn't give me the first one. 00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:52.719 Because it's this one. 00:35:53.319 --> 00:35:55.699 This is the school that I'm supposed to be at. 00:35:56.419 --> 00:35:58.659 God, thank you for letting me have this interview here today. 00:35:58.659 --> 00:36:00.079 Thank you for letting me kill it once again. 00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:02.059 I am just so good. 00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:04.039 You just poured your giftings onto me. 00:36:04.039 --> 00:36:04.400 Thank you. 00:36:06.279 --> 00:36:07.579 And then it wasn't the second one. 00:36:07.739 --> 00:36:08.159 I was like, dang. 00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:11.539 I'm more proud and delusional than I thought I was. 00:36:12.460 --> 00:36:13.380 And then I tried the third one. 00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:13.840 Okay, this. 00:36:14.099 --> 00:36:17.079 Okay, God, I'm so glad you didn't let me have those first two jobs. 00:36:17.340 --> 00:36:18.599 Because it was not those two. 00:36:18.659 --> 00:36:19.400 Thank you. 00:36:20.039 --> 00:36:21.019 That you know better than me. 00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:22.719 And then it happens again. 00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:23.719 Oh, my goodness. 00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:26.179 By the fourth one, I'm like, God, just whatever you want. 00:36:27.179 --> 00:36:28.360 Just, like, please, just. 00:36:29.159 --> 00:36:29.880 I just need a job. 00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:34.360 And then I get it. 00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:35.539 And then I look back now. 00:36:35.619 --> 00:36:36.360 I was like, oh, my goodness. 00:36:37.380 --> 00:36:38.720 This is exactly how it should have been. 00:36:39.860 --> 00:36:41.260 This is the journey that he took me on. 00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:42.619 And it was painful. 00:36:42.720 --> 00:36:43.599 Getting rejected is painful. 00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:44.059 Not hearing. 00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:45.940 Not getting what you want is painful. 00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:51.920 What lamenting shows us is that we can actually go to him and still worship. 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:53.780 Worship, but also still grieve. 00:36:54.099 --> 00:36:55.380 I talked about Abraham last week. 00:36:55.400 --> 00:36:55.780 Do you remember that? 00:36:56.200 --> 00:37:02.099 The first mention of worship is him taking Isaac to the mountain and saying, hey, we're going to worship with my son by giving my son to you. 00:37:03.480 --> 00:37:05.519 Do you think he wasn't grieving when he was going up that mountain? 00:37:06.639 --> 00:37:09.220 He for sure was grieving when he was going up that mountain. 00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:12.260 Well, first of all, it's like, what am I going to tell my wife? 00:37:13.740 --> 00:37:15.420 We waited a long time for this kid. 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:17.019 And now we're going to live. 00:37:17.579 --> 00:37:21.059 I have to walk down this mountain by myself. 00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:26.079 The son that you gave me, God, I'm going to have to leave him here. 00:37:26.700 --> 00:37:30.760 I'm going to have to commit this act that's just going to be so painful to me. 00:37:31.579 --> 00:37:33.360 And then I have to walk back down by myself. 00:37:34.280 --> 00:37:35.380 Do you think he wasn't grieving? 00:37:35.500 --> 00:37:36.900 I truly believe he was grieving. 00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:41.940 Can we be in a place where we can grieve and worship together? 00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:48.159 Someone else said lamenting is basically when despair hopes and hope despairs. 00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:54.019 There's this gratitude and grief that we hold in tension together. 00:37:54.719 --> 00:37:58.119 Can we be people who are acquainted with grief? 00:37:59.059 --> 00:38:02.039 And then he finishes here in verses five and six. 00:38:02.219 --> 00:38:03.019 He does the turn. 00:38:03.739 --> 00:38:05.579 But is what Queenie mentioned. 00:38:05.940 --> 00:38:08.299 But I have trusted in your steadfast love. 00:38:08.379 --> 00:38:10.159 My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:13.460 I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me. 00:38:13.460 --> 00:38:15.079 This does not make sense. 00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:18.139 How you start off saying, God, you've forgotten me. 00:38:18.220 --> 00:38:18.900 You've not been around. 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:19.800 And suddenly you've finished. 00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:22.980 But I have trust in your steadfast here. 00:38:23.039 --> 00:38:24.720 Another translation is undying love. 00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:28.380 And I rejoice in your salvation. 00:38:28.519 --> 00:38:29.800 How did you get there? 00:38:30.900 --> 00:38:33.639 Because he stops and goes, actually, it's not about the thing that I'm facing. 00:38:33.740 --> 00:38:35.039 It's not about the loss that I'm feeling. 00:38:35.179 --> 00:38:36.840 It's about who God is and what he's done. 00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:39.519 And so that's the journey that he goes on. 00:38:39.539 --> 00:38:42.980 And he finishes with saying, actually, God, but you have dealt bountifully with me. 00:38:42.980 --> 00:38:44.019 He reminds himself. 00:38:44.139 --> 00:38:49.780 He remembers that, actually, even though there were all these rejections, all these losses beforehand, that God has been good every single time. 00:38:49.880 --> 00:38:51.320 So, therefore, he's going to be good now. 00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:52.340 And he will continue. 00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:55.139 And actually, he says it in the past tense. 00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:57.880 And he has dealt bountifully with me because he's talking about the past. 00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:00.519 And he's talking about this current situation that he's in right now. 00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:03.039 And he's declaring that this will be past tense soon as well. 00:39:03.240 --> 00:39:05.840 And I will be able to say that he has dealt bountifully with me. 00:39:05.940 --> 00:39:07.579 That he has come through for me in the past. 00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.159 And he will come through for me right now. 00:39:10.780 --> 00:39:12.619 And there's the song from Elevation Worship. 00:39:12.619 --> 00:39:13.579 And he will do it again. 00:39:13.579 --> 00:39:18.960 Do we have that kind of heart where we go through that journey? 00:39:19.179 --> 00:39:20.619 If we're like saying, hey, I don't feel joy. 00:39:20.659 --> 00:39:21.420 I don't feel delight. 00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:26.960 Maybe it's because you haven't walked through sorrow and desolation enough yet. 00:39:27.299 --> 00:39:30.639 Maybe you haven't processed it in the way that the psalmist has. 00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:33.539 Maybe you haven't wept as Jesus had. 00:39:33.539 --> 00:39:36.259 I'm not saying to make you feel bad. 00:39:36.559 --> 00:39:38.420 I'm saying try it. 00:39:38.420 --> 00:39:44.599 I'm saying let yourself go into that space where you can actually grieve and lament. 00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:48.420 And the promise is at the end there will be joy. 00:39:48.880 --> 00:39:50.500 There will be delight. 00:39:51.579 --> 00:39:56.099 Lament is the voice of faith struggling to believe that God is good when life is not. 00:39:57.019 --> 00:39:59.860 Take comfort in what Jesus did in the garden. 00:40:00.860 --> 00:40:05.319 Take comfort in Isaiah 53 when he was he is the man of sorrows. 00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:08.460 Jesus acquainted with grief. 00:40:08.580 --> 00:40:08.780 Why? 00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:10.100 Because of what we did to him. 00:40:12.080 --> 00:40:17.559 And yet somehow in John 16 he also says, and I have come to turn your sorrow into joy. 00:40:19.580 --> 00:40:26.800 And every woman who has given birth and gone through the process of labor will understand what Jesus was saying in John 16 when he says it was painful. 00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:32.140 And there will be groans and pains and agonizing and yet there will be joy at the end. 00:40:34.260 --> 00:40:35.400 That's what he promises. 00:40:36.380 --> 00:40:37.200 Why is that though? 00:40:37.600 --> 00:40:39.760 Why can we trust in what he says? 00:40:41.700 --> 00:40:43.800 It's because he went to the furthest end. 00:40:44.160 --> 00:40:46.160 The depths of Sheol is what the book says. 00:40:47.240 --> 00:40:50.340 He went to the very end and showed us that there is life. 00:40:51.480 --> 00:40:55.539 We can grieve with hope is what 1 Thessalonians 4 says. 00:40:55.539 --> 00:40:59.079 Paul says, don't grieve as those who have no hope. 00:40:59.619 --> 00:41:00.000 Why? 00:41:00.179 --> 00:41:01.579 Because you are people of the resurrection. 00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:02.480 Why? 00:41:02.619 --> 00:41:06.400 Because you believe in a savior who came, who died and who rose again. 00:41:06.619 --> 00:41:10.920 So what we can be is we can both be the people of the cross and also people of the resurrection. 00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:15.719 And you can hold those things together and go, I am dead in my sin. 00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:17.500 I am a person of the cross. 00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:20.400 And the sorrow and the grief that comes from that. 00:41:20.579 --> 00:41:22.579 But I am also a person of the resurrection. 00:41:23.300 --> 00:41:24.340 That Christ dealt with that. 00:41:24.340 --> 00:41:26.320 He died for that. 00:41:26.900 --> 00:41:29.600 And now he lives in me again. 00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:32.880 That is how we grieve with hope. 00:41:33.340 --> 00:41:39.460 That is how we approach him and go, my heart is filled with sorrow. 00:41:39.559 --> 00:41:40.480 I am deeply troubled. 00:41:40.600 --> 00:41:42.220 My tears have been my food day and night. 00:41:42.780 --> 00:41:43.260 Yet. 00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:47.640 But I will trust in your steadfast love. 00:41:47.700 --> 00:41:49.320 I will trust in your undying love. 00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:49.539 Why? 00:41:49.539 --> 00:41:51.500 Because you died for me. 00:41:51.599 --> 00:41:54.420 And then you rose to life again. 00:41:57.259 --> 00:41:58.659 Can I encourage you to try that? 00:41:59.239 --> 00:42:05.559 If there's one thing I want to ask the Lord to give us today is the gift of lamenting, of grieving. 00:42:05.559 --> 00:42:09.400 In a way that will draw us closer to him. 00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:17.760 A couple of weeks ago, Gabe shared with us about the word of God. 00:42:18.300 --> 00:42:19.800 And credit to Paul, who's not here today. 00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.400 He started a WhatsApp group with a group of us who wanted to memorize scripture. 00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:28.860 And I will share mine with you today because it's appropriate for the message. 00:42:29.400 --> 00:42:30.400 But I might stumble. 00:42:31.300 --> 00:42:32.200 Mine was Hebrews 4. 00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:34.260 14 to 16. 00:42:35.180 --> 00:42:38.460 Since then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens. 00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:40.660 Jesus, the son of God. 00:42:41.079 --> 00:42:43.400 Let us hold fast our confessions. 00:42:43.900 --> 00:42:49.200 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. 00:42:49.199 --> 00:42:53.899 Yet in every respect was tempted as we are, yet without sin. 00:42:54.319 --> 00:42:57.739 Let us draw near with confidence the throne of grace. 00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:03.859 So that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. 00:43:03.980 --> 00:43:07.799 We have a God who knows what sorrow is. 00:43:08.139 --> 00:43:09.579 Who knows what grief is. 00:43:09.659 --> 00:43:11.559 He said those words in Psalm 22. 00:43:12.679 --> 00:43:14.399 Why have you forsaken me? 00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:20.119 He knows what it's like to feel the distance of God. 00:43:22.860 --> 00:43:24.700 And yet he took to the cross to deal with that. 00:43:26.119 --> 00:43:29.800 And he now lives so that we can grieve with hope. 00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:39.340 I'm going to invite me and the team up to lead us in the song again. 00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:40.780 Just a little bit like last week. 00:43:40.780 --> 00:43:46.920 But honestly, the prayer is that the Lord would just do and show us whatever he wants us to do. 00:43:47.480 --> 00:43:51.720 Let us come at this time with anticipation and expectation. 00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:54.980 But really just allow God to do whatever he wants to do. 00:43:55.100 --> 00:43:59.940 Some of us have grief, deep grief that we have suppressed for many, many years. 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:02.260 And some of us have just had a terrible week. 00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:06.480 And you just want to be able to tell God, this week has sucked. 00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:12.480 Whatever it may be, would you embrace the spiritual discipline of lamenting? 00:44:13.740 --> 00:44:18.179 Knowing that there is a tunnel and there is light at the end of the tunnel. 00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:20.599 And would you not lose heart? 00:44:21.619 --> 00:44:27.159 That even though everything around you is wasting away, you are being renewed day by day. 00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:33.639 That the light momentary afflictions that you've got going on are preparing you for an eternal weight of glory. 00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:36.920 That far outweighs anything that you're struggling with. 00:44:38.879 --> 00:44:40.159 I don't know how you want to do it. 00:44:40.219 --> 00:44:45.759 Maybe you are just going to spend some time and go, well, what am I grieving? 00:44:46.399 --> 00:44:47.759 What am I lamenting? 00:44:47.799 --> 00:44:49.519 What am I feeling the loss of? 00:44:50.679 --> 00:44:53.759 And maybe it's you bring out your phone and you journal a little bit, whatever it might be. 00:44:53.759 --> 00:44:53.859 Amen. 00:44:53.859 --> 00:44:53.859 00:44:53.859 --> 00:44:53.859 00:44:53.859 --> 00:44:53.859 00:44:57.159 --> 00:45:01.379 I want to invite us into a time of corporate lamenting. 00:45:04.619 --> 00:45:06.219 And it might not even be about you. 00:45:09.339 --> 00:45:14.839 It might be like what Jesus saw when he looked at Jerusalem and he said, this is not how it was supposed to be. 00:45:17.299 --> 00:45:19.619 It might be you looking at the city and feeling the same. 00:45:19.619 --> 00:45:24.539 It might be you looking at the world and going, this is not how it was supposed to be. 00:45:25.879 --> 00:45:26.980 And God, that sucks. 00:45:27.159 --> 00:45:29.799 Would you bring that to him? 00:45:29.839 --> 00:45:30.279 Would you cry? 00:45:30.339 --> 00:45:30.920 Would you complain? 00:45:31.519 --> 00:45:32.399 And would you request? 00:45:32.599 --> 00:45:33.119 Would you remember? 00:45:37.619 --> 00:45:39.559 Me, he's going to lead us in a song called Lay It All Down. 00:45:40.179 --> 00:45:41.920 In fact, this is this song again. 00:45:42.039 --> 00:45:42.519 What music? 00:45:44.319 --> 00:45:45.639 Bring strong memories back for me. 00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:47.879 This was the song that we had when Alicia was in the hospital. 00:45:47.880 --> 00:45:50.860 When she was first born. 00:45:50.860 --> 00:45:53.140 And we were like, she's just about to be operated on. 00:45:53.320 --> 00:45:53.920 And I was a mess. 00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:55.500 And I was just wandering around the hospital. 00:45:56.660 --> 00:45:59.039 Not knowing whether that was the last time I was going to hold her hand. 00:46:00.240 --> 00:46:03.599 And this was the song that was just constantly in my ears. 00:46:04.099 --> 00:46:05.180 God, I'm just going to lay it all down. 00:46:05.179 --> 00:46:07.940 I hate that I'm here. 00:46:09.139 --> 00:46:10.139 I hate that she's hurting. 00:46:11.139 --> 00:46:12.579 I don't know whether she's going to come out. 00:46:15.379 --> 00:46:17.039 But would you join us together to lament? 00:46:17.559 --> 00:46:18.099 To lay it all down. 00:46:18.099 --> 00:46:29.279 Can I invite us to stand? 00:46:41.279 --> 00:46:42.579 Lord, we come to you now. 00:46:42.579 --> 00:46:50.440 With any cries and complaints that we have in our own hearts. 00:46:55.579 --> 00:46:57.000 Lay them down at your feet. 00:47:09.539 --> 00:47:11.039 We surrender the resentment. 00:47:11.279 --> 00:47:12.319 We surrender the bitterness. 00:47:12.579 --> 00:47:14.500 We surrender the doubt and the fear. 00:47:27.500 --> 00:47:29.940 And so I ask, if there is anything on your heart today. 00:47:31.079 --> 00:47:34.119 That you want to begin the process of lamenting. 00:47:34.219 --> 00:47:34.739 The discipline. 00:47:37.659 --> 00:47:38.880 Of the prayer of tears. 00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:44.000 Would you try. 00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:46.039 Would you let go. 00:47:52.700 --> 00:47:55.539 Holy Spirit, we pray for anyone here. 00:47:56.579 --> 00:47:58.500 Who has those stirrings in their hearts. 00:47:58.500 --> 00:48:08.340 That you would release them. 00:48:08.340 --> 00:48:10.480 That you would rescue them. 00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:11.539 You would rescue us. 00:48:11.539 --> 00:48:24.559 And have the team just finish us with the song again. 00:48:24.920 --> 00:48:26.460 And as we wrap up here, we... 00:48:26.460 --> 00:48:30.099 We pray that the Lord would move. 00:48:33.380 --> 00:48:35.380 And most of all, that the Lord would draw us closer to you. 00:48:35.380 --> 00:48:39.640 And if you see someone next to you who could do with a hug and a prayer. 00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:42.119 Would you do that? 00:48:42.500 --> 00:48:44.820 Would you feel comfortable in praying for them? 00:48:44.820 --> 00:48:55.539 One final thing I'd like to say is... 00:48:55.539 --> 00:49:01.360 Lamenting isn't an out-of-control, one-off emotional experience. 00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:06.860 It's a discipline that you choose to go on a journey. 00:49:07.140 --> 00:49:07.720 And a pathway. 00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:10.420 From distress, from sorrow. 00:49:11.620 --> 00:49:12.320 To joy. 00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:16.660 So as Queenie said, it doesn't finish here. 00:49:18.120 --> 00:49:20.000 In fact, maybe I'll even encourage you. 00:49:20.380 --> 00:49:23.519 Include this in part of your spiritual discipline. 00:49:23.680 --> 00:49:25.200 On a week-out basis. 00:49:27.140 --> 00:49:27.960 Bring it to God. 00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:29.900 Take whatever you have to God. 00:49:29.900 --> 00:49:32.519 Because it's the throne of grace. 00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:35.639 Where mercy and grace awaits. 00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:38.119 With a Savior who knows. 00:49:38.220 --> 00:49:39.720 With a Savior who sympathizes. 00:49:40.260 --> 00:49:41.559 With the sorrow and the weaknesses. 00:49:43.539 --> 00:49:46.680 Lord Jesus, as we go from here, we pray that you would go with us. 00:49:47.300 --> 00:49:51.400 In fact, there's nowhere we want to go that doesn't include and involve you. 00:49:53.639 --> 00:49:54.680 Even into the depths. 00:49:55.160 --> 00:49:56.619 Even into the depths of distress. 00:49:57.900 --> 00:49:58.840 We go there with you. 00:49:58.840 --> 00:50:00.780 And we come out with you. 00:50:02.579 --> 00:50:05.220 Empower us to be people of the cross and people of the resurrection. 00:50:05.219 --> 00:50:09.459 That we may know you and the power of your resurrection. 00:50:09.599 --> 00:50:11.179 That we may share in your sufferings. 00:50:11.439 --> 00:50:12.659 Becoming like you in your death. 00:50:13.099 --> 00:50:17.559 And that by any means possible attain the resurrection from the dead. 00:50:18.739 --> 00:50:19.539 We thank you, Lord. 00:50:20.739 --> 00:50:21.899 Thank you for this time today. 00:50:25.039 --> 00:50:26.339 We take our grief with us. 00:50:26.340 --> 00:50:28.940 But we couple it with hope. 00:50:28.940 --> 00:50:30.940 Thank you, Lord. 00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:32.980 In your name we pray. 00:50:34.140 --> 00:50:34.500 Amen.