WEBVTT 00:00:00.780 --> 00:00:04.139 We've been going through, hey, there's more seats at the front. 00:00:04.299 --> 00:00:06.320 ! In fact, the front is really fairly free. 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:07.219 ! 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:30.260 Family. 00:00:30.660 --> 00:00:34.000 You realize that a church is really just made up of all the relationships that we have here. 00:00:34.299 --> 00:00:36.659 And we better get good at relationships. 00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:39.259 Otherwise, things can turn south fairly quickly. 00:00:39.480 --> 00:00:41.320 You can start turning off each other. 00:00:41.399 --> 00:00:43.159 You can start arguing with each other very quickly. 00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:45.200 Because people, quite frankly, are annoying. 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:48.719 And so we've been figuring out, okay, so what does it mean? 00:00:48.780 --> 00:00:52.679 Why did God choose us to be together, to be in this place at this time? 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:53.560 And what does that mean? 00:00:53.579 --> 00:00:54.519 And we went through different ones. 00:00:54.579 --> 00:00:57.079 We went through what your relationship with your family looks like. 00:00:57.079 --> 00:00:59.939 And how that impacts you and your relationship with the people here. 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:00.840 And the relationship with him. 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:03.079 Then we talked about singleness. 00:01:03.420 --> 00:01:04.780 Then we talked about friendship. 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:10.700 And now we're going to be talking about marriage as just one of these topics that actually we're finishing upon. 00:01:10.700 --> 00:01:11.980 And then next week we're going to summarize. 00:01:12.420 --> 00:01:15.960 If I was to sum up everything I'm going to say in the next 20 minutes. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:19.659 And we've got some other people, which I'm really excited about, who are going to come up and share a little bit of their journey. 00:01:19.980 --> 00:01:21.319 If I'm going to sum up everything I'm going to say. 00:01:21.379 --> 00:01:24.760 And if you need to fall asleep, then listen to me for the next 10 seconds. 00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:25.819 And then you can fall asleep. 00:01:26.539 --> 00:01:27.319 And that is this. 00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:28.920 Marriage is not about you. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.579 Marriage is not about you. 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:32.379 Okay. 00:01:32.420 --> 00:01:35.439 And I want to tell you why a little bit more about that as we go. 00:01:36.060 --> 00:01:37.819 I said singleness is a gift. 00:01:38.379 --> 00:01:40.180 I said marriage is a gift. 00:01:40.260 --> 00:01:41.640 What's the purpose of a gift? 00:01:41.859 --> 00:01:43.859 If you're like, well, I didn't want the gift of singleness. 00:01:43.980 --> 00:01:45.920 Or I don't want the gift of marriage anymore. 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:47.659 What's the purpose of a gift? 00:01:47.819 --> 00:01:50.819 The purpose of a gift is to build up the body. 00:01:51.879 --> 00:01:54.280 And that's why it's not about you. 00:01:54.519 --> 00:01:55.260 It's not about you. 00:01:55.260 --> 00:01:57.520 And actually in 1 Corinthians 12, it talks about this. 00:01:57.719 --> 00:01:58.580 He talks about the body. 00:01:58.980 --> 00:02:02.320 This is the body of all the different parts of all the different gifts. 00:02:02.580 --> 00:02:05.820 And the whole point is to try and build up the body to point to God. 00:02:06.880 --> 00:02:13.939 The problem is in the church in Corinth at the time in 1 Corinthians 12, he's writing to these people going, these are talented people. 00:02:14.060 --> 00:02:15.240 These are passionate people. 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:18.860 These are gifted people, but they're arguing all the time. 00:02:19.659 --> 00:02:22.060 And he starts to talk about different parts of the body. 00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:24.820 And he's saying if this part's hurting, then this part's going to be no good. 00:02:25.060 --> 00:02:27.500 This part can't say to that part that it doesn't need you. 00:02:28.420 --> 00:02:34.060 I'm learning this as we speak as I have an Achilles that has been sutured back together. 00:02:34.219 --> 00:02:35.379 But it's going to take a lot of time. 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:37.360 And actually I've witnessed, and I'm not going to embarrass him here. 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:46.340 I've witnessed in my house how one part of the body hurting or being utterly useless has caused the other parts of the body to step up. 00:02:46.920 --> 00:02:51.800 My older two children have just been heroes on top of the superhero that is my wife. 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:55.440 And you watch the body just compensate and just work around that. 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:58.440 And then they ask me, oh, how long is it going to be till you get back? 00:02:58.440 --> 00:03:02.320 I mean, it's going to be four to six months till I start walking, jogging, something like that. 00:03:02.640 --> 00:03:05.420 Nine to 12 months before I start the crutch life. 00:03:05.420 --> 00:03:06.000 I see you. 00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:06.640 I see you. 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:11.020 Nine to 12 months before I can play any sports again. 00:03:11.200 --> 00:03:14.080 And it's probably going to be four years until I can start washing the dishes. 00:03:17.820 --> 00:03:20.620 And maybe I'll never touch a vacuum cleaner ever again. 00:03:23.900 --> 00:03:28.320 You watch the body just compensate around you. 00:03:29.040 --> 00:03:29.780 And it's beautiful. 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:31.300 And we see it. 00:03:31.640 --> 00:03:37.200 And I came and I saw Ken today who is just two months ahead of me in the injury. 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:39.359 Again, we're needing players for next year. 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:42.060 If anyone has a strong Achilles, come and join us. 00:03:42.060 --> 00:03:46.039 But my heart just jumped for joy seeing Ken. 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:47.819 Because he's in his two shoes now for the first time. 00:03:47.860 --> 00:03:49.060 And I'm like, man, that's so fun. 00:03:50.060 --> 00:03:55.300 It's literally my heart just filled with joy as I then limped back over here myself. 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:58.900 But they've been just superheroes for our family. 00:03:59.140 --> 00:04:00.640 Just everything that they had to go through. 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:01.880 And then they get to pass it to us. 00:04:01.879 --> 00:04:05.419 So in the best case scenario, body is great. 00:04:06.620 --> 00:04:13.599 But in the worst case, and as is often the worst case when people are around each other, there are problems. 00:04:14.180 --> 00:04:20.219 So he stops at 1 Corinthians 12 and then he moves into 1 Corinthians 13, which is this famous passage about love. 00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:25.140 And it's funny because I went away with Cubon a couple of weeks ago just to spend time with the Lord. 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:29.220 And I felt the Lord tell me, hey, actually, read that and then actually memorize it. 00:04:29.260 --> 00:04:36.240 And actually, if you're considering scripture memory and you found it hard, I've never done one as easy and as impactful as 1 Corinthians 13. 00:04:36.540 --> 00:04:37.940 It's just three simple stanzas. 00:04:38.820 --> 00:04:39.640 It's the best. 00:04:39.860 --> 00:04:41.180 I highly recommend it. 00:04:41.440 --> 00:04:43.780 And that completely just took me to a different place. 00:04:43.779 --> 00:04:48.239 And it's just been stirring in my heart all this time because the Lord used it to convict me. 00:04:48.539 --> 00:04:50.339 And I knew I was coming to talk about marriage. 00:04:50.379 --> 00:04:51.239 But here was my dilemma. 00:04:51.939 --> 00:04:54.879 1 Corinthians 13 is not really about marriage. 00:04:54.919 --> 00:04:58.459 It's probably the most commonly used passage in all weddings. 00:04:59.359 --> 00:05:00.719 But it's not actually about marriage. 00:05:01.459 --> 00:05:03.899 It's about church arguing with each other. 00:05:05.179 --> 00:05:09.559 And I want us to remember that context because it isn't actually about arguing. 00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:16.160 It's the wrong context if we use it there, but it can be applied very much, very much to marriage. 00:05:16.220 --> 00:05:20.000 So it's not exclusive to marriage, but it can be applied to marriage. 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:30.060 So actually, if you will allow me, I will still use this passage today because I think there's something that the Lord taught me in how I deal with my relationships, especially with how I love my wife. 00:05:30.060 --> 00:05:35.120 And as we even think about this topic of marriage, I do think it has a lot to offer here. 00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:35.720 Because why? 00:05:36.139 --> 00:05:37.899 Relationships are hard and you need love. 00:05:38.300 --> 00:05:40.540 And marriage relationships are probably the hardest. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:43.399 Grace is just like, preach it. 00:05:43.620 --> 00:05:43.939 Yes. 00:05:45.019 --> 00:05:46.519 Happy birthday, Grace, by the way. 00:05:46.840 --> 00:05:47.579 Happy birthday. 00:05:49.060 --> 00:05:50.379 And Darren as well. 00:05:51.500 --> 00:05:54.319 These two people are having their birthdays and they're serving with us in church. 00:05:54.379 --> 00:05:54.980 How cool is that? 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:55.899 How cool is that? 00:05:55.899 --> 00:06:00.659 But man, marriage is hard. 00:06:02.399 --> 00:06:03.359 Relationship is hard. 00:06:03.859 --> 00:06:05.919 And that's why we need love. 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:07.279 That's why we need love. 00:06:07.359 --> 00:06:15.319 There's a couple of books that if you've thought about, if you're married or you're thinking about getting married or it's just an interesting topic to you. 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:16.919 There's two books that have really impacted me. 00:06:17.039 --> 00:06:19.219 One is You and Me Forever by Frances and Lisa Chan. 00:06:19.579 --> 00:06:22.120 And the other one is The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller. 00:06:22.120 --> 00:06:28.420 Both have given me just sound advice and reminded me of what really the purpose of marriage is. 00:06:28.500 --> 00:06:29.980 And again, marriage is not about you. 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:31.199 That's what I'm learning. 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:34.699 But marriage does very much expose a lot of things about you. 00:06:34.840 --> 00:06:36.500 There's one quote that Frances says here. 00:06:36.620 --> 00:06:41.000 Marriage is one of the most humbling, sanctifying journeys you will ever be a part of. 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:43.780 It forces us to wrestle with our selfishness and pride. 00:06:43.779 --> 00:06:48.000 But it also gives us a platform to display love and commitment. 00:06:49.059 --> 00:06:54.859 It was 1 Corinthians 13 that the Lord used to convict me of how I wasn't loving my wife enough. 00:06:55.559 --> 00:06:58.519 Actually, it so happened that Alex and Kara had their disputes. 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:00.199 And I was talking to them these last few weeks. 00:07:00.239 --> 00:07:03.019 And actually, that was the same passage the Lord used for them too. 00:07:03.219 --> 00:07:08.039 When Alex committed a crime and needed to seek forgiveness from Kara. 00:07:08.219 --> 00:07:10.459 And Kara, out of love, forgave him. 00:07:10.459 --> 00:07:16.719 So it's not about just marriage, but it can be applied to everything. 00:07:16.819 --> 00:07:20.839 And as I look at this passage, I want to share three quick points before I bring up some people to talk a little bit about it. 00:07:21.019 --> 00:07:22.000 And the first point is this. 00:07:22.359 --> 00:07:25.159 Marriage exposes your motivation. 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.519 There is nothing that exposes your motivations more than marriage. 00:07:29.599 --> 00:07:30.079 He says this. 00:07:30.139 --> 00:07:36.459 If I can speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I have not love, I'm a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal. 00:07:36.459 --> 00:07:39.939 He says, if I have prophetic powers. 00:07:40.199 --> 00:07:40.879 Can you imagine someone? 00:07:41.079 --> 00:07:45.299 He says, if I have prophetic powers and I understand all mysteries and all knowledge. 00:07:45.479 --> 00:07:52.399 And if I have faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 00:07:53.399 --> 00:08:02.000 If I give away all that I have and deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 00:08:03.979 --> 00:08:05.219 Those are strong words. 00:08:05.220 --> 00:08:09.140 Have you met someone who has prophetic powers and who understands all mysteries and all knowledge? 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:13.180 But that person does nothing if they don't have love. 00:08:14.340 --> 00:08:19.500 Have you met someone who can speak in tongues of angels and of men and isn't of this world, but they have not love? 00:08:20.860 --> 00:08:22.720 They're a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal. 00:08:22.960 --> 00:08:29.380 Have you met someone who's given away all their money, all their possessions, even sacrificed themselves and martyred themselves. 00:08:29.800 --> 00:08:33.500 But if they didn't have love, they would gain nothing. 00:08:33.500 --> 00:08:39.720 Marriage exposes our motivations because it's not about what we do. 00:08:40.460 --> 00:08:42.179 It's about our heart. 00:08:42.179 --> 00:08:44.559 It's about our heart. 00:08:44.659 --> 00:08:46.219 It's about love. 00:08:46.599 --> 00:08:48.519 But have not love. 00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:50.439 Francis carries on and says this again. 00:08:50.899 --> 00:08:53.099 Our marriage problems are not really marriage problems. 00:08:53.699 --> 00:08:54.659 They are heart problems. 00:08:55.179 --> 00:08:56.359 They are God problems. 00:08:57.039 --> 00:09:01.739 Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes. 00:09:01.740 --> 00:09:03.200 Like wealth or pleasure. 00:09:03.419 --> 00:09:04.779 Like fame or respect. 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:05.620 Like people. 00:09:06.419 --> 00:09:07.200 Like marriage. 00:09:08.580 --> 00:09:14.180 Marriage isn't about us, but it exposes what's actually in our hearts. 00:09:15.180 --> 00:09:18.620 You find out how selfish you are when you get married. 00:09:18.620 --> 00:09:22.320 Because then you realize that you cannot get your own way. 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:26.299 And I had a moment where I was in a discussion. 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:29.220 Civilized, sophisticated discussion with my wife. 00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:34.179 Where she was revealing to me truths about me. 00:09:35.060 --> 00:09:38.360 But man, it says, love is not irritable. 00:09:38.919 --> 00:09:42.620 It does not insist on its own way and is not resentful. 00:09:42.620 --> 00:09:45.940 And I was like, man, yeah, I am insisting my own way. 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:48.860 I am irritable and I am resentful. 00:09:48.919 --> 00:09:50.240 It is showing my heart. 00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:53.320 Marriage exposes your motivation. 00:09:54.779 --> 00:09:56.679 Absolutely exposes your motivation. 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:00.820 And there's a difference here between what the world considers relationships to be. 00:10:00.860 --> 00:10:02.340 And we talked about this last week with friendships. 00:10:02.779 --> 00:10:03.960 They're user friendships. 00:10:04.139 --> 00:10:05.200 They're contract friendships. 00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:08.840 Whereas we're going to enter into an agreement because we're going to be friends. 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:10.980 Because you can do something for me and I can do something for you. 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:12.379 But marriage is not that. 00:10:12.379 --> 00:10:16.580 Marriage is covered in a relationship that is saying, basically, I'm going to love you no matter what. 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.460 What's the perfect example of this kind of love? 00:10:21.779 --> 00:10:23.019 Jesus, yes. 00:10:23.139 --> 00:10:24.919 But on earth, what's the closest thing? 00:10:25.220 --> 00:10:28.580 Maybe the only real closest one, because the husband is failing loving his wife. 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:32.439 The only closest one probably is the love that a mother has for the baby. 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:36.700 Because a baby, I'll tell you, does nothing for the parent. 00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:37.720 Like zero. 00:10:38.200 --> 00:10:38.940 Absolutely zero. 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:42.259 But yet, you just keep loving. 00:10:42.379 --> 00:10:45.639 A baby is completely, utterly selfish. 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:47.879 Only interested in their own needs. 00:10:48.659 --> 00:10:49.799 But yet, a mother will just keep giving. 00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:51.139 Just keep giving. 00:10:52.779 --> 00:10:55.299 And they'll look at this baby and still say they're beautiful. 00:10:55.419 --> 00:10:56.279 Most of that is hormones. 00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:00.360 But they'll look and they're like, oh, you're so beautiful. 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:01.279 And in my head, I'm like, really? 00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:03.259 He looks like an alien. 00:11:03.259 --> 00:11:06.939 But it exposes your motivation. 00:11:08.779 --> 00:11:12.120 Actually, all our relationships expose our motivation. 00:11:13.059 --> 00:11:17.600 And here he's saying, but if you don't have love, then you are nothing. 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:24.340 I think there was a turning point in mine and Christina's marriage where we finally got to understand what marriage was. 00:11:24.379 --> 00:11:29.940 When we could look at each other in the eye and go, you will never completely satisfy me. 00:11:29.940 --> 00:11:32.820 She said that quicker than I did, admittedly. 00:11:32.820 --> 00:11:37.420 That's the point of a marriage, actually. 00:11:37.500 --> 00:11:42.080 Because so often we've bought into the idea of what society thinks marriage should be. 00:11:42.180 --> 00:11:48.620 That you should find someone who is a perfect complement to you, who will satisfy every single one of your needs so you will feel complete. 00:11:48.820 --> 00:11:53.640 And if you don't feel complete, you'll start writing songs about them and albums about them and become a female global superstar. 00:11:53.639 --> 00:12:00.199 But what is that? 00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:05.740 That is when we put all our hope into someone else, worshipping someone else. 00:12:06.220 --> 00:12:08.120 And then they disappoint because they do. 00:12:09.539 --> 00:12:11.720 And time and time again, we still do the same thing. 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:20.299 Theologians actually say that one commentator said, actually, we often confuse love and hunger. 00:12:20.299 --> 00:12:23.699 We confuse love and hunger. 00:12:23.839 --> 00:12:25.939 Love is the covenant love that you would give unconditionally. 00:12:26.299 --> 00:12:28.199 Hunger is just that you just want your needs to be satisfied. 00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:30.839 Hunger is similar to lust. 00:12:31.479 --> 00:12:33.919 You just need someone so you don't feel as lonely. 00:12:34.359 --> 00:12:37.579 You just feel someone so you can order the meal for two at the restaurants. 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:41.740 You just need someone so you can take advantage of the buy one get one free. 00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:45.719 You just need someone so you feel better about yourself. 00:12:48.240 --> 00:12:48.879 That's hunger. 00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:50.860 Love is different. 00:12:51.740 --> 00:12:54.059 Love is one that I'm going to keep giving to you. 00:12:55.220 --> 00:13:00.939 Stephen's going to keep giving and keep giving and keep giving to his daughter, regardless of whatever she does. 00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:04.460 Marriage exposes your heart. 00:13:04.539 --> 00:13:06.259 It exposes our motivation. 00:13:06.460 --> 00:13:09.860 Secondly, marriage is a medium to display God's love. 00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:11.519 It's not about you. 00:13:11.700 --> 00:13:12.519 Marriage isn't about you. 00:13:13.659 --> 00:13:16.379 Marriage is about giving you a platform, an opportunity, 00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:18.600 so that you can display God's love, which is what? 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:19.279 Which is patient. 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:20.620 Which is kind. 00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:22.000 It does not envy. 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:22.779 It does not boast. 00:13:23.240 --> 00:13:24.779 It does not insist on its own way. 00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:26.120 It is not irritable. 00:13:26.220 --> 00:13:26.919 It is not resentful. 00:13:26.980 --> 00:13:27.600 It is not arrogant. 00:13:27.740 --> 00:13:28.320 It is not rude. 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:30.399 It does not keep record of wrongs. 00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:32.120 It does not rejoice at wrongdoing. 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:33.340 It rejoices with truth. 00:13:33.340 --> 00:13:35.800 Your marriage. 00:13:35.899 --> 00:13:36.720 Those of you who are married. 00:13:36.780 --> 00:13:38.379 Those of you who will be married. 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:40.639 Those of you who are not married. 00:13:40.780 --> 00:13:43.340 You need to hold those who are married accountable and go, 00:13:43.680 --> 00:13:48.060 Hey, your arrangement between the two of you is not about you. 00:13:48.780 --> 00:13:50.259 It's to point us to God. 00:13:51.139 --> 00:13:54.519 So can we see patience in what you have between the two of you? 00:13:54.680 --> 00:13:55.780 Can we see kindness? 00:13:56.280 --> 00:13:57.960 Can we see you rejoicing at truth? 00:13:57.960 --> 00:14:02.920 Can we see two people who are just gracious, who are bearing one another, 00:14:03.019 --> 00:14:06.480 believing in one another, enduring with one another, hoping with one another? 00:14:07.139 --> 00:14:10.620 You hold us accountable to that because that's what it's for. 00:14:10.820 --> 00:14:14.840 Marriage has been gifted to you so that you can point people to God. 00:14:15.160 --> 00:14:17.220 Marriage is not about you. 00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:20.500 If I was to summarize all those words that he says in those four verses, 00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:22.960 four to seven, it is love is selfless sacrifice. 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:27.180 Love is selfless sacrifice. 00:14:27.179 --> 00:14:29.259 It is not about you. 00:14:29.339 --> 00:14:30.099 It is agape. 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:34.599 Tim Keller says this because often you don't feel like loving. 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:37.059 You don't feel like selflessly sacrificing. 00:14:37.339 --> 00:14:40.339 In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which you, 00:14:40.639 --> 00:14:42.359 when your feelings of love dry up. 00:14:42.739 --> 00:14:45.939 And when that happens, you must remember that the essence of marriage 00:14:45.939 --> 00:14:50.399 is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. 00:14:50.599 --> 00:14:51.620 So what do you do? 00:14:51.879 --> 00:14:54.339 You do the acts of love despite your lack of feeling. 00:14:54.340 --> 00:14:57.399 You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, 00:14:57.580 --> 00:15:02.040 but in your actions, you must be tender, understanding, forgiving, and helpful. 00:15:02.420 --> 00:15:06.440 And if you do that, as time goes on, you will not only get through the dry spells, 00:15:06.580 --> 00:15:08.340 but they will become less frequent and deep, 00:15:08.500 --> 00:15:10.800 and you will become more constant in your feelings. 00:15:11.180 --> 00:15:15.220 This is what can happen if you decide to love. 00:15:15.220 --> 00:15:18.940 He says this later in 1 Corinthians 13. 00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:19.320 He says, 00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:20.920 When I was a child, I thought like a child. 00:15:20.980 --> 00:15:21.820 I reasoned like a child. 00:15:21.899 --> 00:15:22.779 I spoke like a child. 00:15:23.980 --> 00:15:27.220 But when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 00:15:27.300 --> 00:15:28.840 What are childish ways? 00:15:30.980 --> 00:15:33.060 Childish ways is, I want this. 00:15:33.920 --> 00:15:34.720 I want that. 00:15:35.160 --> 00:15:36.740 I'm not happy with this. 00:15:36.740 --> 00:15:38.840 I'm not happy with that. 00:15:39.399 --> 00:15:40.919 That's not the kind of love that marriage has. 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:47.240 Marriage has a kind of love which is a mature, selfless, sacrificial kind of love. 00:15:48.220 --> 00:15:51.600 Not just so two people can then have a harmonious marriage. 00:15:51.680 --> 00:15:55.560 Not just for that, but that harmonious marriage would point people to God 00:15:55.560 --> 00:15:58.560 because marriage is a medium to display God's love. 00:15:58.560 --> 00:16:04.879 It exposes your motivation, and then it is a medium to show people God's love. 00:16:06.740 --> 00:16:09.720 Finally, and then I'll get the people to come up. 00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:13.000 Marriage is a metaphor for God and humanity. 00:16:13.419 --> 00:16:14.519 Your marriage is not about you. 00:16:15.580 --> 00:16:17.019 Your future marriage is not about you. 00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:23.620 When you get together with someone, that love that you have is actually just a metaphor. 00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:25.560 What's it a metaphor for? 00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:28.100 It's a metaphor for God's love. 00:16:29.539 --> 00:16:30.820 That's what it's there for. 00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:32.899 It's to point people to God. 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:33.860 Because it says this. 00:16:33.860 --> 00:16:39.000 It says, for now we prophesy in part and we know in part, but when the perfect comes, 00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:41.039 the partial will pass away. 00:16:41.940 --> 00:16:43.519 Marriage is part of that partial. 00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:44.460 He's talking about gifts. 00:16:44.539 --> 00:16:46.360 He's talking about spiritual gifts that will pass away too. 00:16:46.779 --> 00:16:50.100 But marriage, singleness, all the relationships we have here are part of that. 00:16:50.419 --> 00:16:53.580 When the perfect comes, everything else will pass away. 00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:56.560 The partial will pass away because we have the perfect. 00:16:56.700 --> 00:16:57.720 And that is when Christ comes. 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:05.160 Your marriage, my marriage, our marriages are simply metaphors for something that is to come. 00:17:06.259 --> 00:17:07.180 They said this. 00:17:07.700 --> 00:17:10.980 Many people will tell you to focus on your marriage, to focus on each other. 00:17:11.220 --> 00:17:15.660 But we discovered that focusing on God's mission made our marriage amazing. 00:17:16.420 --> 00:17:17.700 That's what Francis and Lisa said. 00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:22.640 And actually, we have the pleasure of meeting these people and hanging out with them and spending time with them. 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:28.460 And actually, they say something very funny, which is something that I've always heard first growing up in a church. 00:17:28.540 --> 00:17:36.420 When you get married, cut off all kind of service to church because you just focus on you and your spouse and just the two of you for one year. 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:38.560 That's what we heard. 00:17:39.140 --> 00:17:48.100 The challenge was these couples would then leave, spend time just one year retreating from community, spending time just the two of them. 00:17:48.099 --> 00:17:53.240 And then before you know it, what happens when two married people spend just only time together? 00:17:53.439 --> 00:17:55.079 They end up having a baby. 00:17:55.339 --> 00:17:59.359 And then they go even further away from the church into the back of the crash. 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:00.559 And before you know it, they're gone. 00:18:00.959 --> 00:18:03.419 They're not focusing on anything but the family that they've created. 00:18:03.859 --> 00:18:05.619 And that's become all that there is. 00:18:06.419 --> 00:18:08.219 Actually, they were saying that that's actually bad advice. 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:19.059 Because a real marriage, a true marriage, is one where two people aren't looking face to face, but they're holding hands, standing side by side, looking towards the future. 00:18:20.039 --> 00:18:21.680 Looking towards God. 00:18:22.339 --> 00:18:25.740 That's what a marriage is because your marriage is merely a metaphor. 00:18:25.960 --> 00:18:27.500 It is not about you. 00:18:28.220 --> 00:18:29.839 When the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:33.140 Now we see dimly, but soon we will see face to face. 00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:37.180 Real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires permanence. 00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:38.860 That's what it's about. 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:44.860 So those of us who are not married yet, who are not dating yet, I'd encourage you this. 00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:46.299 Marriage is not the end. 00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:49.000 Some of us think that. 00:18:49.100 --> 00:18:56.660 Some of us feel as though as soon as that love story comes to an end and you found your person and that curtain goes and you go happily ever after, that is the end. 00:18:56.820 --> 00:18:57.940 That is not the end. 00:19:00.060 --> 00:19:06.279 Should the Lord gift you with a marriage, it is for the purpose that it would be a metaphor for him. 00:19:07.180 --> 00:19:11.299 The purpose is that it would be a medium to display his love. 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:16.700 To expose your motivation and to expose your heart. 00:19:17.500 --> 00:19:19.460 That's what marriage is really about. 00:19:19.560 --> 00:19:23.080 For now we only see in part, but soon we will see in full. 00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:28.880 When I came in and I saw Ken, my heart just jumped literally because I saw he was wearing two shoes. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:30.920 Now the rest of you take that for granted. 00:19:31.420 --> 00:19:32.060 I know you do. 00:19:32.380 --> 00:19:34.880 But I was like, Ken, you're finally wearing both shoes. 00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:36.280 You can walk. 00:19:36.460 --> 00:19:37.220 Well, he can't walk. 00:19:37.260 --> 00:19:37.960 He can stand. 00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:39.860 Man. 00:19:40.840 --> 00:19:45.560 For now I am walking in part, but soon I will walk in full. 00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:48.680 But actually even he is not the end product. 00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:53.100 As much as he tells Hillary he is the end product of mankind. 00:19:55.420 --> 00:20:02.560 But he is not the end because one day he will not only walk, he will run and he will dunk in heaven. 00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:08.240 Well, maybe. 00:20:08.420 --> 00:20:09.320 I don't know about that one. 00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:13.419 But now we see in part, soon we will see in full. 00:20:13.579 --> 00:20:16.500 Our marriages are not meant to satisfy all of us. 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:19.039 It's not meant to satisfy every part of us. 00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:26.819 Can our marriages, can those who are married here just look at each other and go, you will never satisfy me and that is okay because we only have one person who will satisfy us. 00:20:26.980 --> 00:20:29.659 Let's stand side by side and run towards him together. 00:20:29.859 --> 00:20:33.779 And let's let our arrangement be a display of his love for us. 00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:36.259 That's all that marriage is about. 00:20:36.259 --> 00:20:39.740 Marriage is not about you. 00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:46.960 Now, that's almost the theory behind it as I open up the word and go, okay, that's what the Lord reminded me about what love is. 00:20:47.940 --> 00:20:49.099 It's patient and it's kind. 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:49.640 It does not envy. 00:20:49.720 --> 00:20:50.379 It does not boast. 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:52.740 It is not arrogant or rude. 00:20:54.099 --> 00:20:56.099 But what does that actually look like in real life? 00:20:56.740 --> 00:21:00.700 If we keep telling you, hey, marriage is hard, then why is it hard? 00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:02.059 And how do we get past it? 00:21:03.019 --> 00:21:06.160 I want to bring four people up who actually, I want to have a little bit of a conversation. 00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:09.420 Actually, you've heard from two of them already. 00:21:09.940 --> 00:21:12.660 Grace and her lovely husband, Danny. 00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:13.259 Where's Danny? 00:21:13.339 --> 00:21:13.859 Danny hiding. 00:21:14.279 --> 00:21:14.740 Come up. 00:21:15.879 --> 00:21:17.619 Can we bring those two stores up as well? 00:21:18.099 --> 00:21:21.420 And then, of course, Aaron, our service leader and his lovely, lovely wife, Rebecca. 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:22.819 I'm going to invite the four of them up. 00:21:22.819 --> 00:21:23.259 Thank you. 00:21:23.259 --> 00:21:23.259 00:21:30.259 --> 00:21:33.000 Because this one thing is true. 00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:38.879 Now, we've had the pleasure of doing pre-marriage counseling with quite a few people here in this room. 00:21:38.919 --> 00:21:39.819 And we've gone through content. 00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:41.480 And we say, hey, you've got to communicate. 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:42.399 You've got to forgive. 00:21:42.599 --> 00:21:43.339 You've got to do this. 00:21:43.399 --> 00:21:44.119 You've got to do that. 00:21:44.359 --> 00:21:49.179 And then once it comes to it and once it actually happens, that's when the problems come. 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:51.799 It's like, oh, it was fun to talk about it over the dinner table. 00:21:51.799 --> 00:21:55.699 But once we actually had to get down to it, man, marriage is really, really hard. 00:21:56.659 --> 00:21:57.979 But here we have a few people. 00:21:58.619 --> 00:22:00.199 He hates being put on the spot. 00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:04.519 But I'm going to do exactly that just to kind of get that demon out of the way. 00:22:05.019 --> 00:22:08.400 I had a little bit of trouble convincing Danny to do this. 00:22:08.980 --> 00:22:10.140 But I'll tell you one thing. 00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:12.120 Danny is one of my favorite people in this gathering. 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:12.960 You're not supposed to have favorites. 00:22:13.259 --> 00:22:15.759 But he is one of my absolute favorites. 00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:19.740 For one simple, silly reason, I'll tell you why. 00:22:20.279 --> 00:22:22.640 You'll notice this now that I've said that everyone will notice. 00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:25.620 Once this service finishes, it is chaos, I know, right? 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:29.240 But then people need to, the chairs need to go away. 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:31.220 Who puts them away? 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.140 Danny puts them away. 00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:36.120 Look at these. 00:22:41.019 --> 00:22:44.240 And man, he's been such a loved part of this community. 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:46.180 And he loves, and he loves fiercely. 00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:51.279 And of course, he's got to be a strong, patient man because of the person he's married to. 00:22:51.279 --> 00:23:00.779 So Danny and Grace have been a huge blessing to us, of course, married. 00:23:01.139 --> 00:23:06.000 And Rebecca and Aaron, again, huge, huge blessing just to watch the two of them be together. 00:23:06.139 --> 00:23:09.119 Maybe, actually, let me pass some mics around so you guys can share. 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:12.599 Maybe the first question is how long you guys have been married for? 00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:13.539 Why don't we throw this one right? 00:23:17.980 --> 00:23:21.819 We have been married for, I was doing the math before I came up. 00:23:23.699 --> 00:23:24.480 Full disclosure. 00:23:24.879 --> 00:23:26.719 We've been married for 16 years. 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:27.720 Wow. 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:32.039 Married since they were five. 00:23:34.100 --> 00:23:34.380 Almost. 00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:38.259 For 16 years, are you guys? 00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:43.000 We've been married for, it's the seventh year this year, but we dated for 12 years. 00:23:43.140 --> 00:23:44.700 So it's our 19th year together. 00:23:45.700 --> 00:23:46.100 Wow. 00:23:46.099 --> 00:23:49.019 Half our lifetime, exactly today. 00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:57.179 Now, I also want to acknowledge that there are people in this room who have been married for much longer. 00:23:57.719 --> 00:24:01.240 Probably longer than we've been alive. 00:24:02.199 --> 00:24:04.379 That is probably true. 00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:08.099 Some of them. 00:24:08.179 --> 00:24:09.319 Some of them. 00:24:09.419 --> 00:24:09.899 Some of them. 00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:14.500 And I think all five of us will be the first to tell you that we don't have all the answers. 00:24:14.500 --> 00:24:16.859 But I'll tell you why I brought these four people up. 00:24:17.539 --> 00:24:22.859 Because I know for sure they don't have the answers, but I see them working together to come up with the answers together. 00:24:23.579 --> 00:24:24.839 And they're on the same page. 00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:27.519 And sometimes they read the page differently. 00:24:29.619 --> 00:24:30.940 I think a lot of the time. 00:24:32.660 --> 00:24:34.240 And they read at different speeds. 00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:36.440 But they're on the same page. 00:24:37.180 --> 00:24:40.859 And that's something that actually is almost all that we can ask, right? 00:24:40.859 --> 00:24:47.099 But so I wanted just to maybe just to start with the simple question. 00:24:47.179 --> 00:24:54.759 Because what I did, I asked these guys to read 1 Corinthians 13 with me and pray 1 Corinthians 13 with me and see really what the Lord brought up. 00:24:54.819 --> 00:24:56.219 Maybe I'll start with the orders over there. 00:24:56.699 --> 00:25:01.879 What came up for you as you look at this passage and then you reflect on marriage and you reflect on what God's been showing you? 00:25:03.219 --> 00:25:05.559 I'm just looking for my Bible to see. 00:25:05.559 --> 00:25:07.960 Thank you. 00:25:11.019 --> 00:25:17.259 I think it says, for me, one of the things that stuck out was all the things that it says love is. 00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:32.000 But it never says, like, love is happiness or eternal fun or, like, like, I'm not saying you're not eternal fun. 00:25:34.779 --> 00:25:35.839 What did you say? 00:25:36.879 --> 00:25:37.859 This is getting real. 00:25:39.539 --> 00:25:40.700 Hashtag real talk. 00:25:40.700 --> 00:25:48.059 Just for context, a couple of weeks ago when I did singleness, I said, hey, the single people want to get married and the married people want to get single. 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:50.500 And Rebecca had the loudest resounding cheer. 00:25:54.440 --> 00:26:03.299 But I think for me, when I look at this and if this is what love is, it reminds me actually how far I am from showing Christ's love. 00:26:04.019 --> 00:26:09.440 Rebecca, can you share with us how far short Aaron is, and in what ways? 00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:10.620 Can you tell us a little bit about that? 00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:15.779 Well, no, I can completely agree with Aaron. 00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:20.980 We come from families of divorce. 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:23.680 And so on both sides, we come from that. 00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:28.539 So we can tell you all the ways that love has not worked for our families. 00:26:29.080 --> 00:26:31.799 And we are doing our very best to correct that. 00:26:31.799 --> 00:26:36.700 And so when I look at these scriptures and I say, like, love is patient, love is kind. 00:26:37.080 --> 00:26:40.019 Aaron's the first one to admit, wow, he needs to work on that. 00:26:40.019 --> 00:26:42.980 But I meet him 50-50 and I'm just the same. 00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:47.980 And so that's what sticks out to me when I look at that. 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:49.379 Thank you for sharing. 00:26:49.859 --> 00:26:56.319 And we said, actually, the relationships that we've experienced from our families and impacts the way we go. 00:26:56.319 --> 00:27:06.500 Is there an example that you can share with us that how you've actually tried to go, hey, that was what my experience was, or that was how we experienced it, but we will not be like this? 00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:08.359 And what did that look like, just practically? 00:27:08.359 --> 00:27:18.959 I think the first one for me is love doesn't yell, and it sits down and it talks it out. 00:27:19.659 --> 00:27:22.779 Looking at my family history, that didn't happen. 00:27:23.339 --> 00:27:31.679 It was a lot of huge, explosive arguments, slamming doors, parents going the separate way, and then it was never figured out. 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:34.400 But for us, we sit down. 00:27:34.820 --> 00:27:37.240 Sure, my arms are crossed and I'm really angry. 00:27:37.880 --> 00:27:39.279 But we sit down. 00:27:39.700 --> 00:27:41.279 Our love talks it out. 00:27:41.620 --> 00:27:47.799 Our love sometimes has to say, you know what, we need to pause because I'm so furious and we're not getting anywhere. 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.000 But can we commit to coming back to it in a few hours tomorrow? 00:27:52.740 --> 00:27:54.039 Can we commit to that? 00:27:54.039 --> 00:27:57.839 Because, yeah, the love that I saw didn't do that. 00:27:57.980 --> 00:28:06.099 And so that's something that we work really hard at trying to make right in our relationships so that we can pass that on to our kids. 00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:08.599 Because, yeah, our kids see us get angry. 00:28:08.700 --> 00:28:09.680 Our kids see us disagree. 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:12.639 But we commit to talking it out and not yelling. 00:28:13.639 --> 00:28:14.059 Thank you. 00:28:14.779 --> 00:28:16.420 Danny and Grace, what do you guys fight about? 00:28:20.159 --> 00:28:21.359 Oh, Danny, give me the mic. 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:24.639 Where do I start? 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:35.539 No, I think the biggest one is just understanding each other's dreams and how each other works. 00:28:36.220 --> 00:28:46.119 I think, you know, both me and Grace, for those of you that know us, you know, we have very different types of lifestyles, different types of, even our level of passion and dreams is very different. 00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:57.779 And just being able to give up or put aside what we want individually, but just figure out how to support the other side. 00:28:59.859 --> 00:29:01.319 I'll tell you how we fight. 00:29:01.319 --> 00:29:05.859 So we're both physical touch, okay? 00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:07.220 That's our love language. 00:29:07.379 --> 00:29:13.419 So we found that when we were really pissed off each other, we hug each other really hard. 00:29:14.099 --> 00:29:17.119 We're like, oh, I'm so mad at you. 00:29:18.159 --> 00:29:20.579 And you're like, look at my WhatsApp emoji. 00:29:21.059 --> 00:29:24.859 It's like this girl drilling her head into the guy's chest. 00:29:24.859 --> 00:29:26.799 And sometimes I'm like so angry. 00:29:26.939 --> 00:29:27.699 I'm like, ah! 00:29:28.599 --> 00:29:33.759 But I realized, like, for us, it hurts so much more that when we don't even want to touch each other. 00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:40.559 Like when I'm like, just get out of my face type of anger, that's, it hurts us a lot more. 00:29:40.919 --> 00:29:43.819 And then so we found our ways to deal with anger. 00:29:43.939 --> 00:29:46.699 And then also, like, a lot of wisdom when you just need a timeout. 00:29:46.919 --> 00:29:48.259 Like, hey, you know what? 00:29:48.259 --> 00:29:52.559 Let's talk about this in a few hours or let's talk about it tomorrow. 00:29:53.400 --> 00:29:55.720 But can I answer the 1 Corinthians thing? 00:29:56.099 --> 00:29:59.619 Because, yo, God is so profound. 00:29:59.779 --> 00:30:00.519 I'm telling you. 00:30:02.460 --> 00:30:13.259 So when I used to study 1 Corinthians 13, I'm like, I stopped that patient. 00:30:14.579 --> 00:30:15.599 I was like, love is patient. 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:17.839 I was like, God, I'm not there. 00:30:18.259 --> 00:30:20.259 That is the hardest thing for me. 00:30:21.220 --> 00:30:22.720 Being kind is a thing. 00:30:23.339 --> 00:30:26.640 And then just envy, boast, being not proud. 00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:29.579 I was like, God, I'm really, really far away from love. 00:30:29.900 --> 00:30:33.420 And then when James was telling us to study it, I was like, whoa. 00:30:34.759 --> 00:30:37.940 So if I'm saying, like, Danny is patient, he is patient. 00:30:38.460 --> 00:30:39.400 Is Danny kind? 00:30:39.799 --> 00:30:40.720 He is kind. 00:30:41.420 --> 00:30:42.559 He's not envy. 00:30:42.900 --> 00:30:43.240 Yes. 00:30:43.579 --> 00:30:44.920 He does not boast. 00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:46.140 He is not proud. 00:30:46.140 --> 00:30:48.560 I was like, bro, you, you. 00:30:50.560 --> 00:30:51.759 He is not rude. 00:30:52.360 --> 00:30:53.980 He is not self-seeking. 00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:57.460 He's not easily angered. 00:30:57.700 --> 00:30:59.820 I don't know if he keeps no record wrongs. 00:30:59.980 --> 00:31:02.440 But we all work on that. 00:31:02.520 --> 00:31:03.440 Yeah, we need to work on that. 00:31:03.800 --> 00:31:08.920 I was like, babe, you're like, you accomplished like half of 1 Corinthians 13. 00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:10.779 I was in shock. 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:13.220 I was like, besides myself. 00:31:13.340 --> 00:31:16.160 And then like the second half, I was like, oh, you need to work on this. 00:31:17.660 --> 00:31:20.620 But then I found that I was quite weak on the first half. 00:31:20.700 --> 00:31:22.980 But then second half, I was a bit stronger. 00:31:22.980 --> 00:31:24.539 Like, I don't delight in evil. 00:31:24.920 --> 00:31:26.360 I rejoice with the truth. 00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:27.379 I protect. 00:31:27.639 --> 00:31:28.539 I try to trust. 00:31:28.699 --> 00:31:29.519 I always hope. 00:31:29.639 --> 00:31:31.359 I also always persevere. 00:31:31.979 --> 00:31:33.159 And then I looked at him. 00:31:33.219 --> 00:31:34.179 I think we looked at each other. 00:31:34.259 --> 00:31:34.959 We're like, wow. 00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:42.479 So God has put two people that are very different in their components of love. 00:31:42.519 --> 00:31:43.779 I don't know how you say this. 00:31:44.459 --> 00:31:48.479 And he has put us together so that we can learn from each other. 00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:51.639 So that was like, whoa. 00:31:53.459 --> 00:31:54.459 What she said. 00:31:54.459 --> 00:31:55.479 What she said. 00:31:56.359 --> 00:32:01.719 That was like a epitome. 00:32:02.159 --> 00:32:02.859 Is it epitome? 00:32:03.179 --> 00:32:03.619 Epiphany. 00:32:03.959 --> 00:32:04.299 It's true. 00:32:04.379 --> 00:32:06.019 Well, they say opposites attract, right? 00:32:06.059 --> 00:32:11.359 And I think we are almost probably polar opposites, which is great. 00:32:11.439 --> 00:32:14.179 But it also brings many of its own difficulties. 00:32:14.419 --> 00:32:16.119 So can you tell us how you're polar opposites? 00:32:16.219 --> 00:32:17.019 Just like an example. 00:32:17.019 --> 00:32:26.220 Simple, creatively artsy. 00:32:26.279 --> 00:32:29.420 Rebecca is like super gifted musically and artistically. 00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:34.740 I do not touch anything with the arts or anything with the music whatsoever. 00:32:34.740 --> 00:32:38.180 You don't want me to touch it. 00:32:40.819 --> 00:32:45.000 I think emotionally we express ourselves in two different ways. 00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.380 I'm very, I've got a lot of words. 00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:49.500 And Aaron has a lot of like, hmm. 00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:50.079 Yeah. 00:32:50.279 --> 00:32:50.660 Hmm. 00:32:51.059 --> 00:32:51.400 Hmm. 00:32:51.400 --> 00:32:52.400 Yeah. 00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:53.540 I feel that too, babe. 00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:53.960 Hmm. 00:32:54.519 --> 00:32:58.120 Whereas I'm like, let me tell you in all the ways I feel it. 00:32:58.119 --> 00:33:10.799 And so even in how we seek after God, our relationship with Him, I think are very different in how it looks and how we spend time with God. 00:33:11.379 --> 00:33:13.679 Just everything is completely different. 00:33:14.500 --> 00:33:19.159 And just to carry on with you guys for a second, you've been married for a good amount of time. 00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:26.479 Do you ever need to remind yourself of the decision right from the very beginning of why you're here? 00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:29.500 Like, is that something that crosses your mind often? 00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:30.000 What's that? 00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:31.500 Like the choice to marry each other? 00:33:32.220 --> 00:33:32.620 Yeah. 00:33:32.680 --> 00:33:37.279 I think sometimes when you get along in it, sometimes you forget you actually chose to marry each other. 00:33:37.740 --> 00:33:39.039 Like it was a choice. 00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:41.539 Like we wanted to marry each other. 00:33:41.620 --> 00:33:42.819 We were excited about it. 00:33:42.940 --> 00:33:45.279 There were all of those feelings along with it. 00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:48.380 And it's like, we chose this for ourselves. 00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:52.380 But as you get further along, life throws curveballs at you. 00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:54.140 You go through the hard stuff and all of that. 00:33:54.140 --> 00:33:58.340 Yeah, it is important to look back and be like, oh yeah, we chose to be together. 00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:01.580 There was something we saw in each other that attracted us to each other. 00:34:03.400 --> 00:34:05.360 And so, yeah, we need to remind ourselves of that. 00:34:05.500 --> 00:34:05.600 Yeah. 00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:06.180 Nice. 00:34:06.180 --> 00:34:12.360 And I think that choice, because I don't want to give marriage a bad name, like, oh. 00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:29.860 But I think that choice genuinely shows up after 15 years of marriage when my mother passes away and I'm in the depths of despair trying to figure out what does it mean to be completely on my own in life in my late 30s. 00:34:29.860 --> 00:34:35.940 That choice shows up when Aaron comes beside me and helps, you know, pick up the broken pieces of my life. 00:34:36.200 --> 00:34:38.120 And sure, it's not so romantic. 00:34:38.420 --> 00:34:39.680 It's not a dozen roses. 00:34:39.980 --> 00:34:41.039 It's not all the butterflies. 00:34:41.240 --> 00:34:48.099 But it's a true, genuine commitment of, hey, we chose that back when it was butterflies and roses. 00:34:48.099 --> 00:34:51.880 But I choose it now when you're suffering depression. 00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:53.839 I choose it now when you're grieving. 00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:57.019 And that's something that is just so much more powerful. 00:34:57.380 --> 00:35:00.319 So we sit here and we say, oh, we've been married forever. 00:35:00.599 --> 00:35:01.339 It's hard. 00:35:01.759 --> 00:35:02.360 Yeah, it is. 00:35:02.460 --> 00:35:07.699 But it's also just such a really beautiful thing if you allow it to grow over the years. 00:35:07.940 --> 00:35:08.539 It's beautiful. 00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:09.819 And that's what it says. 00:35:09.940 --> 00:35:10.900 Yeah, round of applause for that. 00:35:10.900 --> 00:35:19.119 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 00:35:19.639 --> 00:35:20.840 It's a choice. 00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:28.000 The most romantic thing that Christina and I did this last week, we've had quite a lot of things happen to us. 00:35:28.340 --> 00:35:31.980 But we had this moment where I had one leg and she had one arm because she was breastfeeding. 00:35:32.660 --> 00:35:34.019 And we needed to do the laundry. 00:35:34.920 --> 00:35:36.340 And I was like, I've got to help somehow. 00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:37.200 I'm literally useless. 00:35:37.780 --> 00:35:39.340 So she was like, how are you going to do it? 00:35:39.340 --> 00:35:39.960 I'm like, I don't know. 00:35:40.059 --> 00:35:40.840 We'll figure it out. 00:35:41.260 --> 00:35:41.980 So I crawled to the washroom. 00:35:42.700 --> 00:35:47.500 Anyway, the most romantic scene was the fact that I had one leg and she had one arm, but we did it together. 00:35:47.700 --> 00:35:49.019 And we lifted the clothes out. 00:35:49.420 --> 00:35:49.900 And you know what? 00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:51.680 There's so many. 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:53.960 It's not what you say yes to at the very beginning. 00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:56.000 But actually, this is what a yes looks like. 00:35:56.619 --> 00:35:56.820 Right? 00:35:56.980 --> 00:35:59.780 When you stand at the altar and you say, oh, through sickness and in hell. 00:36:00.300 --> 00:36:02.220 But actually, this is how it looks. 00:36:02.539 --> 00:36:03.500 This is what it looks like. 00:36:04.039 --> 00:36:05.840 Danny, I want to ask you something. 00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:08.460 You guys got together. 00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:12.360 But then you actually had a long distance relationship for how many years? 00:36:13.940 --> 00:36:14.300 Twelve. 00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:15.179 Twelve years. 00:36:15.179 --> 00:36:17.079 Where were you and where were you? 00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:19.619 I was in New York and Grace was over. 00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:22.159 Just being able to see each other physically. 00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:28.399 Back then, you know, just out of school, working, pretty entry-level job. 00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:31.839 Didn't really have many opportunities to go see Grace. 00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:36.500 So me and Grace would see each other maybe twice a year for like a week, a week and a half at a time. 00:36:36.899 --> 00:36:40.199 Because you only have like two weeks holidays and stuff and you got to travel and fly. 00:36:40.199 --> 00:36:46.619 So yeah, so just me seeing Grace twice a year, you know, for probably a good like almost like 10 years. 00:36:46.899 --> 00:36:47.019 Yeah. 00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:47.819 Yeah. 00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:54.480 And of course, given the work that Grace, you came here to do, it's an industry that's not easy. 00:36:54.619 --> 00:36:56.939 And it has lots of demands and pressures. 00:36:57.819 --> 00:36:59.659 You would often just temptations. 00:36:59.659 --> 00:37:02.559 And you would just see her on TV. 00:37:03.299 --> 00:37:09.639 Like how did you process all of those things? 00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:12.859 And how did you still have that sense of trust and assurance and peace? 00:37:13.279 --> 00:37:20.259 Yeah, I think trust played a really big factor in us being able to even get through that season. 00:37:21.219 --> 00:37:23.659 Because as you can imagine, we're both physically apart. 00:37:23.859 --> 00:37:26.139 You know, we all have our kind of own lives. 00:37:26.359 --> 00:37:28.819 Mine in New York, hers in Hong Kong. 00:37:28.820 --> 00:37:34.960 And outside of, you know, just being able to catch up every day or every other day, you know, when we talk on the phone, 00:37:35.180 --> 00:37:38.000 I really don't know what's going on in her life, nor does she for me. 00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:42.180 And I think that's where we also grew the closest together and just lean to God on it. 00:37:42.519 --> 00:37:47.559 I think for me, it was, and for her as well, it was just having faith in God and trusting in God. 00:37:48.100 --> 00:37:55.019 And also just reminding ourselves that, you know, that I could see how much Grace has grown during her time in Hong Kong, 00:37:55.019 --> 00:38:02.199 especially in her passion and her love for God that I find comfort in knowing that she doesn't answer to me. 00:38:02.259 --> 00:38:05.719 Because she could just be doing whatever she's doing in Hong Kong and I wouldn't know anyway. 00:38:06.219 --> 00:38:08.639 But she fears and trusts God. 00:38:09.059 --> 00:38:10.219 And she answers to God. 00:38:10.679 --> 00:38:16.259 And knowing that her relationship with God is growing and strong and she's committed to it, 00:38:16.260 --> 00:38:20.660 that gave me a lot of comfort, especially during the challenging times. 00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:29.740 I think some examples were just, you know, when she's working with, you know, other actors or, you know, in her line of work and stuff like that. 00:38:29.820 --> 00:38:34.180 And then she would, like, openly tell me, like, oh, you know, this guy is quite attractive and stuff like that. 00:38:34.280 --> 00:38:37.180 And just sort of allowing that level of vulnerability. 00:38:37.179 --> 00:38:48.179 But also being honest and saying, like, what kind of safeguard she's going to put in place so she doesn't let any of those temptations kind of, like, you know, go astray and stuff. 00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:54.259 So that gave me, that also gave me more reassurance just to see how much effort she's putting into our relationship as well. 00:38:54.940 --> 00:38:55.059 Yeah. 00:38:55.219 --> 00:39:02.559 So you're saying the trust that you had wasn't necessarily trust in just Grace, but it was actually in the God that was behind her, the God that she was chasing. 00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:07.900 And actually, she's ultimately, if her eyes are on him, then you're okay. 00:39:08.400 --> 00:39:08.519 You know? 00:39:08.759 --> 00:39:08.900 Yeah. 00:39:09.179 --> 00:39:09.340 Yeah. 00:39:09.759 --> 00:39:10.400 No, that's huge. 00:39:10.460 --> 00:39:10.779 That's good. 00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:12.119 And you're very attractive. 00:39:18.860 --> 00:39:20.360 Rod, there's one final question. 00:39:20.440 --> 00:39:27.539 If I was to ask you what the purpose of your marriage is, what would you say? 00:39:27.799 --> 00:39:28.940 And then I'll ask you guys the same question. 00:39:28.940 --> 00:39:33.300 It's a good question. 00:39:33.440 --> 00:39:40.240 And I think when we got married, we probably would have said fulfillment and happiness and joy and happily ever after. 00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:51.000 And I think 16 and a half years in, I would actually say, I think the purpose of marriage is to make me become more like Christ. 00:39:54.300 --> 00:39:55.960 Because marriage is like a mirror. 00:39:55.960 --> 00:39:59.000 You find out all of the areas you're not good in. 00:40:00.019 --> 00:40:03.659 And it's a reflection of how much like Christ I'm not. 00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:11.559 And so as we look at 1 Corinthians 13, I believe that as God changes me and makes me more like him, it actually then affects my marriage. 00:40:11.679 --> 00:40:13.880 And our marriage becomes better because of that. 00:40:14.900 --> 00:40:19.000 And so, yeah, I would say it's ultimately not my happiness or my joy. 00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:20.179 It's to become more like God. 00:40:20.340 --> 00:40:20.460 Wow. 00:40:20.460 --> 00:40:24.500 And isn't that just the purpose of life full stop? 00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:26.539 Marriage is not about us. 00:40:26.920 --> 00:40:27.740 Grace, what about you guys? 00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:29.539 What's the purpose of your marriage, would you say? 00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:36.179 I think when we first, like right before we got married, we did premarital counseling. 00:40:36.179 --> 00:40:40.739 And then like our counselor asked us like, what do you think is marriage? 00:40:40.799 --> 00:40:42.319 And we're like, seriously? 00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:48.279 Like, isn't marriage just two people making each other happy, like for the rest of your lives and stuff? 00:40:48.940 --> 00:40:56.839 And then so when they spoke about a covenantal relationship, it really like it didn't dawn on me until then. 00:40:56.840 --> 00:41:05.760 And I was like, wait, so you mean that I need to do my half and do my part no matter what he does? 00:41:07.200 --> 00:41:12.280 Because contract is just like, if you screw up and you don't do your part, this contract is void, right? 00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:13.100 Right, right, Queenie? 00:41:13.200 --> 00:41:14.039 And all the barristers. 00:41:14.840 --> 00:41:15.880 Oh, no, never mind. 00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:34.940 But in a confidential relationship, it's almost like whatever happens on the other side, I'm going to keep going with this side of the agreement, which is I have to choose Danny over any other person for the rest of my life. 00:41:34.940 --> 00:41:38.300 I have to choose him every single day, and I have to lay my life down for him. 00:41:38.300 --> 00:41:47.960 And that really changed us, especially when things get tough, because we're so different in personality and passions and speed and everything. 00:41:49.380 --> 00:41:57.720 I really feel like every time the thoughts come, we're like, I don't know if you guys ask, like, oh, did I marry the right person? 00:41:57.940 --> 00:42:03.480 Sometimes when things get tough, you're like, could I have married someone that was a bit more compatible and this and that? 00:42:03.480 --> 00:42:19.039 But then you remember on your wedding day, like, the things that you promised to the other person, which is, you know, I'm going to be here for you no matter what, you know, through rich, through poor, through sickness and death even. 00:42:20.920 --> 00:42:24.960 Yeah, and that really helped us to be there for each other. 00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:33.300 And also, I think for us, even though we love God, we have different experiences with God. 00:42:33.579 --> 00:42:41.019 I really feel like, oh, I need to go evangelize and do the Great Commission, and I'm really passionate to share Jesus with everyone. 00:42:41.199 --> 00:42:43.260 Danny just wants to love people around him. 00:42:43.940 --> 00:42:52.000 So even in the midst of all that, sometimes it's like we don't force each other to go the other person's speed. 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:58.539 And in the tough seasons, it's like we kind of just pray and like, Lord, would you humble me? 00:42:58.639 --> 00:43:00.239 Would you help me? 00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:09.320 You know, or just praying for the other person, but separately and not wanting to change him and not wanting him to be this and that for you or whatever. 00:43:10.679 --> 00:43:17.280 Just, yeah, just sacrificial love, learning what is unconditional and sacrificial love. 00:43:17.280 --> 00:43:23.540 And actually, if that's the purpose of marriage, then the question of, oh, did I marry the right person or is this the person to marry, almost goes out the window. 00:43:23.660 --> 00:43:28.100 Because it's almost, actually, the whole point of this arrangement that I have with this person is about him. 00:43:28.680 --> 00:43:33.640 So it's not about how I'm going to be completely satisfied in having all my needs met. 00:43:33.980 --> 00:43:38.420 But it's about, actually, and actually, I've seen this in all four of you. 00:43:38.420 --> 00:43:44.119 It's just when two people are focused on God and getting closer to God, they inevitably get closer to each other. 00:43:44.599 --> 00:43:46.519 And I've had it described to me that it's like a triangle, right? 00:43:46.940 --> 00:43:51.079 Like when two people are getting closer to God themselves, they actually end up being closer together. 00:43:51.599 --> 00:43:56.840 And just seeing that and just thanking God for that and knowing that you definitely don't have all the answers. 00:43:57.099 --> 00:43:58.840 We're still figuring all of that stuff out. 00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:01.619 But our marriages are not about us. 00:44:02.300 --> 00:44:05.360 It's a metaphor for God's love to make us more like him as well. 00:44:05.980 --> 00:44:06.900 Thank you, the four of you. 00:44:06.900 --> 00:44:07.900 Can we give them a round of applause? 00:44:09.420 --> 00:44:10.240 Thank you, Danny. 00:44:15.380 --> 00:44:18.280 Can I say that this is like sacrificial love right now? 00:44:18.860 --> 00:44:21.260 Danny's actually wearing like a T-shirt with Jordans. 00:44:24.380 --> 00:44:27.760 Grace and I give Danny a lot of trouble with his fashion sense. 00:44:28.139 --> 00:44:30.559 But he's been getting better. 00:44:34.079 --> 00:44:35.480 I want to finish with this. 00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:42.340 Again, 1 Corinthians 13 is not exclusively applied to marriage. 00:44:42.740 --> 00:44:45.079 That was not the purpose and context of this passage. 00:44:45.340 --> 00:44:47.240 It was for relationships full stop. 00:44:47.860 --> 00:44:53.820 It's just that it so happens that it's used for marriage because marriage relationships are the hardest ones, at least in my personal experience. 00:44:53.820 --> 00:45:03.180 And as we all look at 1 Corinthians 13, whether you're married or not, you look at it and you go, man, do I have this kind of love? 00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:04.480 And I am the same. 00:45:05.120 --> 00:45:11.580 Actually, before I tried to memorize this, I could mumble my way through all the different ones in the wrong order because I never got past patience either. 00:45:11.579 --> 00:45:16.259 Christina would be the first to tell you, I don't have patience. 00:45:16.380 --> 00:45:17.480 Patience is long suffering. 00:45:17.699 --> 00:45:21.539 Can you walk alongside someone who is really slow? 00:45:22.139 --> 00:45:23.279 That's something that you would prefer. 00:45:23.380 --> 00:45:26.579 Now, the Lord is teaching me many lessons about patience right now. 00:45:26.579 --> 00:45:31.960 But as you go through this, as you look, you actually, love is patient and kind. 00:45:32.099 --> 00:45:33.880 Love does not envy and boast. 00:45:33.980 --> 00:45:35.059 It is not arrogant or rude. 00:45:36.019 --> 00:45:37.719 It does not insist on its own way. 00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:38.900 It is not irritable. 00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:39.840 It is not resentful. 00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:41.239 It does not rejoice at wrongdoing. 00:45:41.360 --> 00:45:42.400 It rejoices with the truth. 00:45:43.559 --> 00:45:46.799 Do I have that kind of love for the people around me? 00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:52.620 Do our marriages in this church have that kind of love? 00:45:52.660 --> 00:45:54.220 And the answer is, man, it's hard. 00:45:54.660 --> 00:45:57.920 And it is actually impossible. 00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:05.019 Because if you think about why the Apostle Paul writes this passage, it's not to tell you, hey, you must be patient. 00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:06.220 You must be kind. 00:46:06.460 --> 00:46:07.280 You must not envy. 00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:08.160 You must not boast. 00:46:08.260 --> 00:46:09.340 You must not insist on your way. 00:46:09.460 --> 00:46:11.560 Because he knows that's exactly what we do. 00:46:11.680 --> 00:46:12.620 It's human nature. 00:46:12.619 --> 00:46:20.980 The purpose of him writing this to remind the church of Corinth is not that you must be these things, is that God is these things. 00:46:22.339 --> 00:46:27.380 That it is no longer you who should live, but Christ who lives in you. 00:46:29.019 --> 00:46:32.279 If we want this kind of love, there is only one way to get it. 00:46:32.319 --> 00:46:35.019 And it is not through sheer will and motivation. 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:42.480 The only way we can get this kind of love is if we stick close to the source of love or the one who is love. 00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:45.099 God is love. 00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.480 Can we be a group? 00:46:48.679 --> 00:46:49.719 Can we be a church? 00:46:49.800 --> 00:47:00.139 Can we be a family that shows this kind of love, not through our own actions, not just through our own actions, but because we all in unison are pointing to the one who has that kind of love. 00:47:00.260 --> 00:47:03.260 Because there was one who gave all that he had. 00:47:03.260 --> 00:47:09.340 There was one who delivered up his body up to the cross so that we could gain everything. 00:47:10.820 --> 00:47:11.860 That is why we love. 00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:16.639 Because Jesus, he could speak in the tongues of men and of angels. 00:47:16.780 --> 00:47:18.500 He had prophetic powers. 00:47:18.599 --> 00:47:21.059 He understood all mysteries and all knowledge. 00:47:21.340 --> 00:47:22.800 He could move mountains. 00:47:22.980 --> 00:47:24.260 He gave away all that he had. 00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:28.199 He delivered up his body so that we would gain everything. 00:47:28.340 --> 00:47:31.780 By losing his life, we gained ours. 00:47:33.260 --> 00:47:33.800 Our love. 00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:37.880 And then he tells us, look around you. 00:47:40.160 --> 00:47:41.300 How I loved you. 00:47:42.220 --> 00:47:44.100 Now you love each other. 00:47:46.019 --> 00:47:47.539 Marriage is just one of those ways. 00:47:47.600 --> 00:47:48.760 Let us not idolize marriage. 00:47:48.840 --> 00:47:50.060 Let us not trample down on marriage. 00:47:50.059 --> 00:47:53.239 Because I know society is actually turning away from marriage itself. 00:47:55.079 --> 00:47:56.639 Singleness, marriage, friendship. 00:47:56.739 --> 00:47:57.759 They're all just gifts. 00:47:59.579 --> 00:48:02.599 So that we could all point to him together. 00:48:03.079 --> 00:48:04.599 That's the only point of all of this. 00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:07.799 We're finishing here now. 00:48:08.759 --> 00:48:11.539 And again, I've run out of time. 00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:14.199 But can I just finish this with a word of prayer? 00:48:15.420 --> 00:48:21.940 And can I ask you, as you hear those words, those famous words that you've heard a million times, 00:48:21.940 --> 00:48:26.360 Can you ask the Lord, how must I love? 00:48:27.200 --> 00:48:30.400 What would love have me do now? 00:48:30.619 --> 00:48:34.740 Whether it's in my marriage, whether it's in my friendships and my relationships, 00:48:35.039 --> 00:48:36.240 what would love have us do? 00:48:36.639 --> 00:48:37.019 Let's pray. 00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:51.539 Father, Lord, we know when the perfect comes. 00:48:52.679 --> 00:48:54.039 The partial will pass away. 00:48:54.300 --> 00:48:59.579 For now we know in part, but soon we shall know fully, even as we are fully known. 00:49:00.260 --> 00:49:02.860 Lord, you know us. 00:49:04.200 --> 00:49:05.820 You know the sickness within us. 00:49:06.159 --> 00:49:07.840 You know the sin within us. 00:49:08.900 --> 00:49:12.460 You see us through and through, and yet you loved us. 00:49:14.340 --> 00:49:15.900 And you laid down your life for us. 00:49:18.860 --> 00:49:19.820 And you are patient. 00:49:21.940 --> 00:49:23.039 And you are kind. 00:49:27.539 --> 00:49:28.960 You do not envy and boast. 00:49:29.139 --> 00:49:30.200 You are not arrogant and rude. 00:49:33.079 --> 00:49:34.780 You did not insist on your own way. 00:49:34.780 --> 00:49:42.900 And you wiped our record of wrongs clean. 00:49:42.900 --> 00:49:56.680 So would you show us how to have that kind of love, that mature, selfless, sacrificial, covenantal kind of love? 00:49:56.679 --> 00:50:00.639 And we can say right now, we can't do it by ourselves. 00:50:01.579 --> 00:50:03.519 There are colleagues that are so hard to love. 00:50:04.980 --> 00:50:07.179 There are spouses that are so hard to love. 00:50:07.179 --> 00:50:11.899 There are friends that are so hard to love. 00:50:15.779 --> 00:50:24.239 But thank you that it is not just by our own power and might that we love them, but we love them through your love for us. 00:50:24.239 --> 00:50:29.839 We love because you loved us first. 00:50:29.839 --> 00:50:33.159 How beautiful is that truth? 00:50:34.279 --> 00:50:35.299 So we thank you. 00:50:35.300 --> 00:50:40.900 And as a community, we ask you, can you show us who else that we can love? 00:50:41.780 --> 00:50:43.340 The people who are not in this room. 00:50:45.180 --> 00:50:48.320 Maybe people who annoy us the most outside. 00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:56.860 Can you remind us tomorrow morning or this afternoon to love us and to love them in the way that you want us to? 00:50:59.700 --> 00:51:00.340 Thank you, Lord. 00:51:00.780 --> 00:51:02.039 We thank you for the sunshine. 00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:03.980 We thank you for the rain. 00:51:05.900 --> 00:51:07.280 We thank you most of all for you. 00:51:07.460 --> 00:51:07.920 We love you. 00:51:09.100 --> 00:51:09.940 We trust you. 00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:11.260 We worship you. 00:51:12.460 --> 00:51:13.480 In your name we pray. 00:51:14.700 --> 00:51:15.000 Amen. 00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:25.280 Hey, after a moment of just quiet reflection and enjoy lunch and grab lunch and let's all go have lunch with Aaron today. 00:51:25.679 --> 00:51:26.099 Enjoy.