WEBVTT 00:00:00.180 --> 00:00:06.160 just to see what it says, and to explain it, and to apply it, and to think about what it means in our lives, 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:12.560 which is really what we do Sunday after Sunday. We want to look at God's Word and see what He's saying to us. 00:00:14.660 --> 00:00:18.339 Ephesians 5, 22-33, page 978 in the Pew Bible. 00:00:20.339 --> 00:00:25.359 Now, in this section of Ephesians, we've been really asking this question. 00:00:26.219 --> 00:00:29.519 What difference does Christ make in our everyday lives? 00:00:30.980 --> 00:00:33.200 What difference does Christ make in our everyday lives? 00:00:34.079 --> 00:00:40.179 In chapters 1-3 of this book of Ephesians, we thought all about what God has done for us in Christ. 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:44.960 And now, in the second half of the book, we've been thinking, what difference does that make? 00:00:46.359 --> 00:00:50.439 Ephesians is a very beautiful book. It's very simply constructed, but it's very profound. 00:00:50.939 --> 00:00:56.140 And tonight, as Pastor Greg mentioned, we are looking at the topic of marriage. 00:00:56.140 --> 00:01:02.179 What difference does Christ make when it comes to marriage, to the relationship between husbands and wives? 00:01:03.179 --> 00:01:07.599 Now, I know that not all of us here tonight are married. 00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:13.780 So you're already thinking, oh my goodness, this whole sermon is going to have nothing to do with me. 00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:15.640 Turning off. 00:01:16.019 --> 00:01:20.739 But actually, I think that this passage is going to be helpful for all of us. 00:01:20.739 --> 00:01:23.780 It's not just for married people. 00:01:25.060 --> 00:01:27.619 In fact, if you are married, I think it'll be helpful. 00:01:27.780 --> 00:01:31.959 But if you're not married, I hope it's helpful to you on several levels. 00:01:31.959 --> 00:01:41.019 First, if you think you might want to be married someday, or be remarried someday, this will be a helpful text for you. 00:01:41.399 --> 00:01:47.319 To think about what kind of expectations, or what kind of goals, or priorities you should have as you seek a future spouse. 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:52.879 Second, I think this text can help us too. 00:01:52.939 --> 00:01:54.839 Because remember what Paul's been saying in this section. 00:01:54.840 --> 00:02:02.260 What he's been saying, and what he's been showing us, is that because of what Christ has done for us, we're a family in Christ. 00:02:02.420 --> 00:02:03.260 We're one body. 00:02:04.219 --> 00:02:06.980 And what it means to be one body is to encourage one another. 00:02:07.320 --> 00:02:09.280 To speak the truth and love to one another. 00:02:10.060 --> 00:02:18.379 So, here is a text that helps all of us know how to encourage and speak the truth and love to one another, to those people in our midst who are married. 00:02:18.620 --> 00:02:21.300 Maybe you're single, you don't have any first-hand experience, but you know what? 00:02:21.300 --> 00:02:24.439 You've got something better than first-hand experience to help your married friends. 00:02:24.439 --> 00:02:27.439 You've got the very word of God to help them out. 00:02:27.699 --> 00:02:29.159 So, we're going to look at this passage together. 00:02:29.340 --> 00:02:30.840 We're going to see what it teaches us. 00:02:30.939 --> 00:02:35.520 And we're all going to be equipped to pray for one another, encourage one another, and to live this stuff out together. 00:02:36.780 --> 00:02:38.740 Okay, so what difference does Christ make in marriage? 00:02:38.780 --> 00:02:42.000 We're going to read through Ephesians 5, 22 through 33, and we're going to see three things. 00:02:42.659 --> 00:02:49.900 That knowing Christ, that the gospel of Jesus Christ changes the point of marriage, it changes the pattern of marriage, 00:02:49.900 --> 00:02:51.860 and it changes the power for marriage. 00:02:52.780 --> 00:02:53.500 Here we go. 00:02:53.500 --> 00:02:55.080 Starting in verse 22. 00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:58.360 Wives, submit to your own husbands as the Lord. 00:02:58.659 --> 00:03:03.080 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. 00:03:03.719 --> 00:03:07.360 Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 00:03:08.259 --> 00:03:12.560 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 00:03:13.020 --> 00:03:16.400 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:21.580 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, 00:03:21.620 --> 00:03:23.300 that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:03:23.920 --> 00:03:26.840 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:31.259 He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, 00:03:31.259 --> 00:03:36.480 but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:40.239 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 00:03:40.399 --> 00:03:42.119 and the two shall become one flesh. 00:03:42.799 --> 00:03:44.620 This mystery is profound. 00:03:45.560 --> 00:03:48.539 And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:03:49.699 --> 00:03:51.899 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, 00:03:52.739 --> 00:03:54.859 and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:03:55.899 --> 00:03:56.719 Okay, let's pray. 00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.300 Lord Jesus, we need your help. 00:03:59.419 --> 00:04:02.659 We need your help to live out the great grace that you've given us, 00:04:02.680 --> 00:04:05.240 and we need your help to understand your word by your Holy Spirit. 00:04:05.319 --> 00:04:08.400 So help us tonight as we come to this passage about marriage. 00:04:08.539 --> 00:04:12.659 Lord, help us to see and help us to understand what you are teaching us in this passage. 00:04:12.659 --> 00:04:17.980 Lord, guide my words, guide all of our hearts to hear what your Spirit is saying to us in this text, 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:22.839 so that we might be built up, so that your church might live into what you call us to live into, 00:04:22.839 --> 00:04:26.919 so that we might display your goodness and your glory to the world around us. 00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:29.119 Father, we pray all this in Jesus' name. 00:04:29.339 --> 00:04:29.539 Amen. 00:04:31.039 --> 00:04:32.159 Okay, let's dive right in. 00:04:32.219 --> 00:04:33.919 Now, I'm going to give you guys a warning. 00:04:34.219 --> 00:04:39.299 If you're new here tonight, this sermon is going to be a little longer than our sermons normally are, 00:04:39.339 --> 00:04:40.599 because this is a big passage. 00:04:40.819 --> 00:04:42.359 But we're going to move quick. 00:04:42.459 --> 00:04:45.079 So that means you've got to keep your listening cap on, because we're going to fly. 00:04:45.239 --> 00:04:45.819 Okay, sound good? 00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:46.059 All right. 00:04:46.459 --> 00:04:48.620 So point number one, what's the point of marriage? 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:49.899 What is the point of marriage? 00:04:49.899 --> 00:04:53.659 I think if you ask most people throughout history, you'd get one of two answers. 00:04:53.759 --> 00:04:54.459 What's the point of marriage? 00:04:54.579 --> 00:04:59.759 I think most people would say that the point of marriage is either social stability or its personal fulfillment. 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:01.519 Here's what I mean. 00:05:01.919 --> 00:05:02.819 What is marriage for? 00:05:02.939 --> 00:05:07.000 Most traditional or conservative cultures would speak a lot about social stability when it comes to marriage. 00:05:07.139 --> 00:05:09.419 Marriage is the building block of a healthy society. 00:05:09.579 --> 00:05:11.679 If marriage goes, the culture goes to pot. 00:05:12.099 --> 00:05:14.879 Marriage is the context for raising the next generation of healthy children. 00:05:15.019 --> 00:05:15.919 That's good for society. 00:05:16.219 --> 00:05:19.859 Marriage is something that provides resilience for people, so they work hard and be productive. 00:05:19.899 --> 00:05:20.879 And make a stable society. 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:21.639 That's one answer. 00:05:21.819 --> 00:05:22.699 What's marriage for? 00:05:23.179 --> 00:05:24.439 It's making a stable society. 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:31.259 The other answer that people often give, and this one's a little more popular today, is that marriage is all about personal fulfillment. 00:05:32.219 --> 00:05:36.019 Marriage is the thing where you find someone who brings out your best. 00:05:36.939 --> 00:05:40.879 Marriage is the thing where you find someone, as Jerry Maguire said, who completes you. 00:05:41.299 --> 00:05:42.599 You find your soulmate. 00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:49.360 You find the person who just makes you sing and come out of your shell and find happiness, joy, and companionship forever. 00:05:50.920 --> 00:05:51.960 What's the point of marriage? 00:05:52.780 --> 00:05:56.220 Many would say it's social stability or personal fulfillment. 00:05:57.800 --> 00:06:00.240 Okay, now don't get me wrong as we think about those two answers. 00:06:00.379 --> 00:06:03.860 I actually think there's a good deal of truth in both of those answers. 00:06:03.860 --> 00:06:11.740 Both very broad statistical studies of married couples and also just personal anecdotes and stories support actually both of those things. 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:13.420 But here's what's very interesting. 00:06:14.280 --> 00:06:20.699 Neither of those things, according to our text tonight, is the ultimate point of marriage. 00:06:20.699 --> 00:06:23.979 Look again at verse 31. 00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:30.339 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:34.939 Now Paul is quoting there Genesis chapter 2 verse 24. 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:44.060 Genesis 2 verse 24 is sort of the key Old Testament verse that just defines marriage and shapes marriage for the rest of the biblical canon. 00:06:45.180 --> 00:06:47.620 But according to Paul, what's the point of marriage? 00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:49.039 Verse 32. 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:52.480 This mystery is profound. 00:06:53.319 --> 00:07:00.379 And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:07:01.320 --> 00:07:06.220 Paul says marriage is a profound mystery. 00:07:08.280 --> 00:07:16.000 Now, by saying that marriage is a profound mystery, Paul does not mean that it's baffling and confusing. 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:26.000 Although many of us, both married and single, often find married life or thinking about married life baffling and confusing, that's not what he means by profound mystery here. 00:07:26.740 --> 00:07:34.420 Actually, when Paul says that marriage is a mystery and it's profound, mystery is actually a technical term for Paul. 00:07:34.420 --> 00:07:38.560 It's sort of a special part of Paul's vocabulary for talking about what? 00:07:38.699 --> 00:07:40.699 Talking about the gospel. 00:07:40.699 --> 00:07:49.539 For Paul, a mystery is something that's been unveiled that we didn't see before. 00:07:50.259 --> 00:07:58.980 It's an element of what God has done in Christ or it's what God has done in Christ that wasn't so clear before, but now it's crystal clear because Christ has come. 00:07:58.980 --> 00:08:02.040 That's what a mystery is for Paul. 00:08:02.040 --> 00:08:06.000 Something that's been unveiled and now we see it for the first time and we never saw it before. 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:12.379 And Paul says marriage is a profound mystery that refers to Christ in the church. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:21.439 In other words, the point of marriage all along from the very first marriage of Adam and Eve back in Genesis 2 all the way down through human history. 00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:27.579 What marriage has always been about, even though we didn't always see it at first as humans. 00:08:27.579 --> 00:08:37.340 The point of marriage has always been to display, to refer, to give a tangible picture right here in our creaturely midst. 00:08:37.419 --> 00:08:43.100 It's always meant to refer and to point to Christ's love for his church. 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:54.259 So you see the point of marriage, the ultimate point of marriage, why God made marriage in the first place above all the other reasons, 00:08:54.259 --> 00:09:01.039 more than social stability, more than personal fulfillment, the point has always been to show us, 00:09:01.419 --> 00:09:07.419 to give us a picture and a pointer and a sign of Jesus' faithful love for his people. 00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:17.080 Now, of course, as we said, marriage does bring a measure of those things, fulfillment and stability. 00:09:17.259 --> 00:09:21.159 But, you know, if you think about it, it can't actually deliver those things, can it? 00:09:21.159 --> 00:09:28.079 Marriage isn't strong enough by itself to make you fulfilled, right? 00:09:29.379 --> 00:09:34.000 Marriage is not strong enough by itself to keep society from crumbling apart. 00:09:36.039 --> 00:09:37.579 Paul's showing us here something more profound. 00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:42.219 He's saying that marriage isn't something we were meant to look to. 00:09:43.500 --> 00:09:45.539 It was something we were meant to look through. 00:09:45.539 --> 00:09:51.039 It wasn't something we were meant to look to for fulfillment, for stability. 00:09:51.219 --> 00:09:54.639 We were meant to look through it to the one who actually can bring us those things. 00:09:56.240 --> 00:10:03.459 Too often we look to marriage to actually save us when we're supposed to look through marriage to the one who can, to the Savior. 00:10:06.459 --> 00:10:09.879 So the point of marriage is to display Christ. 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:14.460 Okay, let's take a couple minutes and let's apply that before we move on to the other things. 00:10:15.059 --> 00:10:16.860 Let's apply it first to those of us who are single. 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:19.159 Think about it. 00:10:19.179 --> 00:10:23.840 What are you looking for or hoping for or praying for maybe in a potential marriage partner? 00:10:26.200 --> 00:10:29.679 My guess is that social stability might not be the sort of top thing on your list. 00:10:29.820 --> 00:10:33.919 I'm really looking for a marriage partner so we can cure the ills of society together. 00:10:34.059 --> 00:10:34.679 Probably not. 00:10:34.799 --> 00:10:39.700 However, you're probably thinking about someone who's actually going to bring you a measure of personal fulfillment. 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:45.700 And don't hear me saying that that's not part of it, right? 00:10:45.820 --> 00:10:48.939 You should find a spouse who you can be friends with. 00:10:49.220 --> 00:10:50.840 You should find someone that you like. 00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:53.000 You should find someone who brings out the best in you. 00:10:53.139 --> 00:10:55.039 All of those things are true and good in their place. 00:10:55.220 --> 00:11:03.120 But at the end of the day, is it someone that you can display Christ with? 00:11:04.759 --> 00:11:05.639 That's the question. 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:14.879 What matters most isn't whether your spouse is your type, physically speaking, guys. 00:11:14.879 --> 00:11:22.139 What matters most isn't whether your future spouse has a fabulous career and makes lots of money and is very socially connected. 00:11:23.939 --> 00:11:28.000 What matters most isn't that your spouse laughs at all your jokes and thinks that you're the cat meow. 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:40.240 What matters most is whether that future potential spouse loves Christ and whether together you can picture the love of Christ in your married life. 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:52.960 And as a sidebar, do you see now why the Bible is so adamant that believers only marry believers and not unbelievers? 00:11:52.960 --> 00:12:04.280 If the point of your marriage is ultimately this richly spiritual one to radiate out into the world a picture, a pointer of who Christ is and his deep love for the church, 00:12:04.420 --> 00:12:10.400 you're going to need someone that you're on the same page with spiritually to make that marriage really shine. 00:12:11.980 --> 00:12:14.940 Is this someone you can display Christ with? 00:12:14.940 --> 00:12:24.260 There's another way I think this point about marriage applies to us when we're single. 00:12:25.920 --> 00:12:26.800 And it's this. 00:12:27.400 --> 00:12:31.600 When we see that the point of marriage is actually to display the love of Christ for the church, 00:12:32.380 --> 00:12:37.740 it's a good reminder to us that if that's the point of marriage, then ultimately speaking, 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:43.120 ultimately speaking, we're not missing out in our singleness. 00:12:44.940 --> 00:12:45.800 This is what I mean. 00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:51.140 If the point of marriage is to point away from itself to the love of Christ for his church, 00:12:51.180 --> 00:12:53.800 if it's meant to refer us to that, to point us to that, 00:12:54.160 --> 00:12:56.560 then whether we're single or whether we're married, 00:12:57.160 --> 00:13:00.760 if we're in a relationship with Christ and the fellowship of his church, 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:06.280 then we already have what marriage is meant to be all about. 00:13:07.820 --> 00:13:11.180 We've already got the thing that it's pointing us to. 00:13:11.179 --> 00:13:17.479 So being single doesn't mean that you're a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God. 00:13:18.079 --> 00:13:22.219 Being single doesn't consign you to like the B team of church life and ministry. 00:13:22.579 --> 00:13:24.279 Now, I will be the first one to say, 00:13:24.459 --> 00:13:27.159 I know there are a lot of churches that can make people feel that way. 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:34.500 You know, a friend just the other week was visiting a church where I won't mention where. 00:13:34.659 --> 00:13:36.159 It was far away from here in the Midwest. 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:39.319 You know, and she said the first thing that they asked her when she walked in was, 00:13:39.839 --> 00:13:40.819 Hi, how are you? 00:13:41.199 --> 00:13:41.879 Are you married? 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:42.539 Do you have kids? 00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:48.240 It's like suddenly it was like, whoa, like who am I? 00:13:48.319 --> 00:13:49.639 It's just my marital status. 00:13:50.079 --> 00:13:53.579 Interestingly, if you read the New Testament, it blows that to smithereens. 00:13:55.019 --> 00:13:58.399 No, married, a fine way to serve Christ. 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:01.139 Single, a fine way to serve Christ. 00:14:01.139 --> 00:14:06.259 Christ, both of them relish in what we've got, which is everything in Christ. 00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:07.580 That's what it's all about. 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:14.259 Some of my heroes, actually, spiritually speaking, were never married. 00:14:15.399 --> 00:14:16.819 One of them is John Stott. 00:14:17.220 --> 00:14:19.019 I don't know if that's a name that's familiar to you all. 00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:23.259 He was a great 20th century British pastor and evangelist. 00:14:23.259 --> 00:14:28.939 He wrote something called the Lausanne Covenant, which was a very important evangelical statement 00:14:28.939 --> 00:14:31.080 of faith and mission in the 20th century. 00:14:31.299 --> 00:14:35.759 He published dozens and dozens of books on the faith and commentaries on the Bible. 00:14:35.899 --> 00:14:39.059 In fact, one of the best short commentaries on the book of Ephesians is written by John 00:14:39.059 --> 00:14:39.399 Stott. 00:14:39.740 --> 00:14:43.860 If you want to read one book on Ephesians, read what John Stott wrote because it's awesome. 00:14:44.439 --> 00:14:48.240 In fact, I was reading a newer commentary this week and they kept referring to his commentary 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:49.200 from like 20 years ago. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:50.080 That's how good it is. 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:55.759 This guy led countless men and women to Christ through his ministry and it was actually international. 00:14:56.020 --> 00:14:59.620 He was one of the first international evangelists, him and Billy Graham, actually. 00:15:00.580 --> 00:15:05.840 John Stott went to Australia and to Germany and to America, all over preaching Christ and 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.340 God gave great fruit to his ministry. 00:15:07.500 --> 00:15:11.600 He trained scores and scores of men and women for full-time Christian work and you know what? 00:15:13.520 --> 00:15:15.160 He was single an entire life. 00:15:16.680 --> 00:15:17.400 Never married. 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:25.560 Being single doesn't put you on the B team in the church. 00:15:27.320 --> 00:15:29.740 Now that's not to say that single life is easy. 00:15:29.820 --> 00:15:31.120 I'm not trying to make light of that. 00:15:31.680 --> 00:15:36.020 But I think what Paul's showing us here is that if you're in a relationship with Christ, 00:15:37.020 --> 00:15:40.540 you already have the substance of which marriage is the shadow. 00:15:40.539 --> 00:15:50.099 And perhaps what God is calling you to know and to experience tonight is how much you really do have in Christ. 00:15:51.199 --> 00:15:53.339 That you've got the thing in him. 00:15:55.439 --> 00:15:58.939 Because one day, after all, marriage as an institution, friends, is going to fade away. 00:15:58.940 --> 00:16:06.600 When Christ returns and presents the church to himself without spot, without blemish in the new creation, human marriage is going to be no more. 00:16:07.280 --> 00:16:10.900 Greg used a great illustration this morning of a candle and the sun rising. 00:16:11.640 --> 00:16:13.760 Look, you don't need a candle when the sun comes up. 00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:17.040 And we're not going to need marriage when the sun comes back. 00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:18.000 Trust me. 00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:24.020 Because on that day, if you're already in Christ, if you're a part of his church, there's going to be a bigger marriage that you're a part of. 00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:27.139 And we're all going to experience that. 00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:28.600 We're all going to be a part of that. 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.620 And that's already guaranteed to you. 00:16:34.299 --> 00:16:40.460 You know, whether you have the poster on your wall or not, you've already got a ticket to the big event if you're in Christ. 00:16:42.519 --> 00:16:43.679 Okay, application number three. 00:16:43.779 --> 00:16:45.120 How about for us married folks? 00:16:45.899 --> 00:16:48.240 How does this point of marriage apply? 00:16:49.439 --> 00:16:52.199 Well, look, if the point of marriage is to picture Christ, 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:57.220 then doesn't it seem obvious that we should look to Christ to learn how marriage is supposed to work? 00:16:57.940 --> 00:17:02.360 After all, when you dump all the puzzle pieces out on the box onto the table, what's the first thing you do? 00:17:03.020 --> 00:17:09.039 You grab the top of the box, you prop it up, and then you start putting all the pieces together according to the picture that's on the box. 00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:11.920 This is the picture these pieces are supposed to make. 00:17:12.340 --> 00:17:19.620 How silly would it be to dump all the puzzle pieces onto the table and start flipping through your smartphone to look for a cute picture to start making out of these pieces? 00:17:19.619 --> 00:17:22.299 Oh, look, let's build this one. 00:17:22.979 --> 00:17:23.679 It's not going to work. 00:17:24.039 --> 00:17:31.479 No matter how much you want that puzzle of the Eiffel Tower to look like your kids eating an ice cream cone, it's not going to get put together that way, right? 00:17:33.879 --> 00:17:42.099 In the same way, how silly is it for us to try to put our marriages together according to some other picture than the person of Christ? 00:17:42.099 --> 00:17:50.199 So, in other words, we look to Christ not only to find the point of marriage, what it's all about, but also to see the pattern of marriage. 00:17:51.419 --> 00:17:53.359 And that's the next big point that Paul shows us. 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:55.159 What's the pattern of marriage? 00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:55.819 So, that's the point. 00:17:55.919 --> 00:17:56.379 What's the pattern? 00:17:56.439 --> 00:17:57.219 Look at verse 33. 00:17:58.259 --> 00:18:00.039 Paul says, however, he's kind of wrapping up here. 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:01.059 Okay, here's my big point. 00:18:01.419 --> 00:18:06.919 Let each one of you, that is husbands, love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:15.100 Okay, that's Paul's own summary of verses 22 through 30, where he gives extended instructions to both husbands and wives. 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:17.039 Husbands, love your wives as yourself. 00:18:17.500 --> 00:18:18.920 Wives, respect your husbands. 00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:21.240 There's the pattern in summary. 00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:28.160 But let's follow, let's follow Paul's order in his summary statement and let's consider more in detail. 00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:30.900 So, let's follow his order and let's talk about husbands first. 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:32.360 He says, husbands, love your wives. 00:18:32.740 --> 00:18:33.960 So, let's look at husbands first. 00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:35.259 That starts in verse 25. 00:18:35.259 --> 00:18:38.299 How are husbands to love their wives? 00:18:38.900 --> 00:18:39.619 Verse 25. 00:18:39.740 --> 00:18:45.400 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:18:47.059 --> 00:18:48.740 That's how husbands should love their wives. 00:18:50.220 --> 00:18:53.720 On the cross, Jesus gave himself up. 00:18:55.099 --> 00:18:56.339 Gave up his rights. 00:18:57.180 --> 00:18:58.119 Gave up his reputation. 00:18:58.980 --> 00:18:59.859 Gave up his comfort. 00:19:00.500 --> 00:19:01.700 Gave up his very life. 00:19:01.700 --> 00:19:05.220 So that you and I, his beloved, would flourish. 00:19:05.660 --> 00:19:07.059 So that we could know life. 00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:11.100 And friends, that's how it's supposed to be with husbands. 00:19:12.220 --> 00:19:15.759 They must lay down their lives for the flourishing of their wives. 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:19.339 And Christ did this with our ultimate future in mind. 00:19:19.660 --> 00:19:21.059 Look at verses 26 and 27. 00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:23.519 Why did Christ lay down his life for us? 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:24.279 Verse 26. 00:19:24.759 --> 00:19:26.359 That he might sanctify her. 00:19:26.740 --> 00:19:28.960 That is, that he might set apart the church for God. 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:31.859 Take her out of darkness and put her into light. 00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:33.759 That he might sanctify her. 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:37.259 Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. 00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:39.279 Now, the word here is the word of the gospel. 00:19:39.420 --> 00:19:41.220 The good news of Jesus' death and resurrection. 00:19:41.220 --> 00:19:44.460 And Paul says, the gospel is like water for our souls. 00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:45.980 Washing us clean. 00:19:47.940 --> 00:19:51.079 So Christ died to wash us clean and to set us apart for God. 00:19:51.140 --> 00:19:52.259 But there's a future in mind. 00:19:53.019 --> 00:19:56.420 Looking ahead to the age to come, Paul says, Christ died, verse 27. 00:19:56.980 --> 00:19:59.759 So that he might present the church to himself in splendor. 00:20:00.059 --> 00:20:04.240 Without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:09.200 And so, you see, husbands are to love their wives. 00:20:09.779 --> 00:20:12.200 Not with this life in view, but with eternity in view. 00:20:14.420 --> 00:20:17.440 One day, your spouse will be presented to Jesus. 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:25.200 Have husbands done everything in your power to get her to that last day? 00:20:25.940 --> 00:20:28.460 As spotless, as wrinkle-free as possible. 00:20:30.900 --> 00:20:33.039 Now, of course, you're not Jesus, husbands. 00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:34.940 You can't wash away her sins. 00:20:35.259 --> 00:20:37.180 You can't sanctify her on your own strength. 00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:38.420 So how do you go about doing this? 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:41.720 What does it look like to lay down your life to present her spotless on that last day? 00:20:41.740 --> 00:20:43.940 To be a part of what Jesus is doing in your spouse? 00:20:44.659 --> 00:20:46.000 Look at verse 28 through 30. 00:20:47.079 --> 00:20:50.240 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:52.799 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:56.960 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. 00:20:57.159 --> 00:21:00.379 Just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. 00:21:00.380 --> 00:21:05.320 Now, I want to zero in on those two verbs in verse 29. 00:21:06.040 --> 00:21:07.780 Nourish and cherish. 00:21:09.760 --> 00:21:11.240 To nourish, what's that mean? 00:21:11.860 --> 00:21:14.000 It's to make sure you get what you need, right? 00:21:14.180 --> 00:21:14.980 What do you need? 00:21:15.220 --> 00:21:15.760 You need to eat. 00:21:15.840 --> 00:21:16.560 Make sure you're well-fed. 00:21:16.680 --> 00:21:17.300 Nourish something. 00:21:17.580 --> 00:21:18.400 You give it what it needs. 00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:20.380 What about cherish? 00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:21.360 What does that mean? 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:24.600 To prize and delight in something. 00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:27.879 To treat it as worthy and valuable. 00:21:30.179 --> 00:21:31.859 Now, husbands, think about your wife. 00:21:33.339 --> 00:21:35.179 Think about all the aspects of her life. 00:21:35.919 --> 00:21:40.799 Think about her life physically, emotionally, relationally, vocationally, spiritually. 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:43.859 Are you nourishing her? 00:21:45.159 --> 00:21:49.059 Are you doing all that's in your power to make sure that her basic needs are met in all these areas? 00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:51.639 But not just that, are you cherishing her? 00:21:52.379 --> 00:21:57.299 Are you celebrating, delighting in the person God made her to be in all these areas? 00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:01.019 Take an example physically. 00:22:02.019 --> 00:22:04.980 Husbands, are you doing all that's in your power to nourish your wife physically? 00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:08.000 Are you working hard to provide food and shelter and clothing? 00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.279 Are you giving her the time and the space to exercise and take care of herself? 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:14.940 Do you put enough money in the monthly budget so she can actually get a haircut every once in a while 00:22:14.940 --> 00:22:16.180 and replace some of her old clothes? 00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:21.779 The reason I say that is because the first time Beth and I made a budget when we were engaged, 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:25.259 I was the nerd in the relationship, so I was hammering out all the numbers. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.660 I was crunching the numbers in our budget. 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:27.519 I was like, this is going to be great. 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:29.339 You know, here will be the budget for when we finally get married. 00:22:29.619 --> 00:22:34.319 And I think I put something like $10 in the budget for toiletries and haircuts and that sort of stuff. 00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:38.139 I probably spent like $10 a quarter. 00:22:38.299 --> 00:22:39.419 So I'm like, $10 a month. 00:22:39.559 --> 00:22:39.879 Boom. 00:22:40.399 --> 00:22:41.500 And I was living at home at the time. 00:22:41.579 --> 00:22:42.139 We were still engaged. 00:22:42.179 --> 00:22:42.839 I was living at home at the time. 00:22:42.919 --> 00:22:46.619 And my mom peeked over my shoulder as I was working on this one afternoon. 00:22:46.619 --> 00:22:49.419 And she said, Nick, yeah, $10. 00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:50.559 That's not going to cut it. 00:22:50.779 --> 00:22:52.279 She's going to need a little more than that for a haircut. 00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:53.500 I'm like, come on. 00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:59.679 Obviously, I was setting myself up for failure to nourish my wife physically, right? 00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.299 But Paul pushes us a little further. 00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:06.279 He says, more than that, do you cherish your wife physically? 00:23:06.860 --> 00:23:08.340 Do you prize how God made her? 00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:09.660 Do you delight in it? 00:23:10.220 --> 00:23:13.420 Do you call attention to it appropriately and praise how God made her? 00:23:14.680 --> 00:23:16.140 Not just nourish, but cherish. 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:19.180 Now start thinking through all the dimensions of your wife's life. 00:23:19.340 --> 00:23:21.180 How can I nourish her relationally? 00:23:21.420 --> 00:23:26.600 Am I interacting with her, talking with her, sharing my heart with her, making sure she has time to build good relationships? 00:23:26.600 --> 00:23:28.400 Am I nourishing her that way relationally? 00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:31.340 How do I cherish her relationally? 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.500 Do I praise her friendship with me? 00:23:34.560 --> 00:23:36.660 Do I value her insights, her humor? 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:40.120 Do I let her know that they're good and they're delightful? 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:43.200 Do I lift up the way that she's a faithful friend to others? 00:23:43.259 --> 00:23:49.060 Do I point her to that and say, wow, you did such a good job interacting with that person. 00:23:50.040 --> 00:23:52.160 You've been such a faithful friend to so-and-so. 00:23:54.340 --> 00:23:55.660 You get the picture, right? 00:23:55.660 --> 00:24:00.900 Now hash that out spiritually, vocationally. 00:24:01.720 --> 00:24:02.740 All of the dimensions. 00:24:04.980 --> 00:24:08.519 And if you start doing that, you realize that you need to lay down your life. 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:12.580 And you need to put your agenda on hold. 00:24:13.240 --> 00:24:18.480 Because all of us naturally just, our minds run wild with how we can nourish and cherish ourselves. 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:21.960 But Paul's saying, no, no, no, no, no. 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:24.160 Christ died for the church. 00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:27.460 You lay down your life for your spouse, for your wife. 00:24:30.860 --> 00:24:32.920 And that will be loving her with a Christ-like love. 00:24:34.539 --> 00:24:35.960 Okay, that's the pattern for husbands. 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:37.860 Now let's look at wives. 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:41.660 Wives, respect your husbands, Paul says in verse 33. 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:44.019 Well, what does that look like? 00:24:44.759 --> 00:24:46.059 Jump back to verse 22. 00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:51.100 Wives, submit to your own husbands as the Lord. 00:24:53.120 --> 00:24:55.840 Okay, let's talk about the big fat elephant in the room. 00:24:57.019 --> 00:24:59.720 Submission is not a popular idea today, right? 00:24:59.720 --> 00:25:05.900 In fact, I don't think it's an overstatement to say that submission is actually a hated idea today. 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:09.299 We don't like the idea of submission at all. 00:25:10.660 --> 00:25:14.779 And you know, in fact, I can actually understand why we don't like it. 00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:20.900 Because on the one hand, human history, and even in the history of the church, 00:25:21.740 --> 00:25:28.120 there has been a lot of ungodly oppression and injustice and downright evil done in the name of submission. 00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:36.799 And if you've experienced that, then let me say tonight, I am sorry that that has been your experience. 00:25:39.180 --> 00:25:43.600 And I'm actually glad you're here, giving Christianity a second chance. 00:25:45.860 --> 00:25:52.559 Because that's not all, not at all, what Christ intends when he gives this message to wives. 00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:57.519 Whatever that experience might have been, try to bracket that out for a second. 00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:00.200 And realize that's not what Christ had in mind. 00:26:01.879 --> 00:26:03.339 And let's see what he does have in mind. 00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.480 And to do that, I want to put this call to submission in context. 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:12.359 I want to sort of sketch out what's around it so that we understand what Paul's actually saying. 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:17.299 And to do that, I want to make four clarifying points about submission in this context. 00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.579 First, first clarifying point about a wife's submission. 00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:24.839 Look first at verse 21, right before our passage. 00:26:25.899 --> 00:26:30.199 There, Paul is ending some instructions to all Christians in the church. 00:26:31.539 --> 00:26:35.619 And Paul says that Christians are meant to be practicing mutual submission. 00:26:37.199 --> 00:26:41.779 Because we've all, men and women, been made in the image of God in creation. 00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:46.460 And we've all, men and women, been made co-heirs with Christ in redemption. 00:26:46.460 --> 00:26:54.940 So you see, in creation and in redemption, according to the New Testament, there is equality of dignity and purpose and value. 00:26:56.019 --> 00:27:01.819 And in that equality, we are to practice submission, deference, and respect to one another. 00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:12.460 And that mutual submission, that mutual dignity and respect is the soil out of which this particular submission of wives to husband grows. 00:27:12.460 --> 00:27:18.740 That mutual submission, that mutual dignity and respect, it doesn't go away in marriage. 00:27:19.100 --> 00:27:20.039 It stays. 00:27:20.600 --> 00:27:25.000 And out of that soil grows this particular dance of marriage. 00:27:27.100 --> 00:27:27.660 Second. 00:27:28.200 --> 00:27:28.960 That's the first point. 00:27:29.019 --> 00:27:29.400 Second point. 00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:36.180 The submission of wives to husbands is not saying that every woman should submit to every man in this way. 00:27:37.140 --> 00:27:41.180 Paul's not saying every woman should submit to every man. 00:27:41.380 --> 00:27:42.180 Not at all, right? 00:27:42.180 --> 00:27:42.500 No. 00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:46.779 He is giving a very specific pattern for marriage. 00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:52.360 Not a pattern for everything and everywhere and everyone and every relationship. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:54.740 This is a marriage reality between husbands and wives. 00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:54.980 Okay. 00:27:55.580 --> 00:27:55.900 Third. 00:27:57.340 --> 00:28:03.700 Though wives are called to a particular role in marriage, it doesn't mean they have lesser value in marriage. 00:28:06.340 --> 00:28:08.440 And you know, in fact, it can't mean that. 00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:18.140 Paul calling wives to submit to husbands in marriage cannot mean that he thinks wives are of lesser worth or value than husbands. 00:28:19.340 --> 00:28:20.140 Here's why. 00:28:20.140 --> 00:28:25.420 When Jesus came to earth, what was his relationship to the father like? 00:28:27.700 --> 00:28:28.660 Perfect submission. 00:28:29.940 --> 00:28:32.500 Jesus submitted perfectly to his father. 00:28:32.500 --> 00:28:35.759 What do we know about Jesus' identity? 00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:42.099 Was Jesus, God the son, less God than God the father? 00:28:42.099 --> 00:28:46.339 Was his role in redemption of less value? 00:28:46.699 --> 00:28:49.299 Or did it make him of less value than the father? 00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:54.539 And the answer to those questions, friends, is a resounding, utter, and complete no. 00:28:54.539 --> 00:29:02.559 Jesus, God the son, and God the father, and God the holy spirit are completely equal in their deity. 00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:07.480 Their roles in redemption are all of equal value and worth. 00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:12.599 In fact, what Jesus showed us was that submission could actually be a form of strength. 00:29:13.019 --> 00:29:17.559 That he brought all of his eternal deity to bear on the mission that the father had laid out for him. 00:29:17.740 --> 00:29:20.420 And it wasn't a sign of weakness or a sign of inferiority. 00:29:20.420 --> 00:29:24.440 But it was actually a sign and a particular dignity and glory that he had. 00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:27.400 Okay? 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:28.800 So third thing. 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:34.580 Calling wives to submit does not mean that wives are of lesser importance or value than husbands. 00:29:36.259 --> 00:29:36.740 Fourth. 00:29:37.820 --> 00:29:42.860 A wife's submission to her husband is obviously limited by what's pleasing to God. 00:29:43.560 --> 00:29:47.440 If a husband asks a wife to do something that's against God's will or displeasing to God, 00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:50.140 then she has a duty to obey God rather than man. 00:29:50.420 --> 00:29:51.660 And not submit to that. 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:53.900 Now maybe that seems pretty obvious to us. 00:29:53.960 --> 00:29:55.320 But it's worth saying, right? 00:29:55.800 --> 00:30:00.720 This is a sort of a finite submission under our total submission to God. 00:30:01.800 --> 00:30:02.240 Okay? 00:30:03.080 --> 00:30:04.560 So this isn't a carte blanche. 00:30:04.600 --> 00:30:06.860 A sort of blank check between husbands and wives. 00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:07.680 No, no, no, no, no. 00:30:08.060 --> 00:30:11.039 We're still mutually submitting to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. 00:30:11.140 --> 00:30:13.080 We're still absolutely submitting to God. 00:30:13.220 --> 00:30:15.140 And this thing grows up in between it. 00:30:15.140 --> 00:30:15.580 Okay. 00:30:17.620 --> 00:30:21.240 There are the four clarifying points to put this kind of submission in context. 00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:22.840 But what does it mean practically? 00:30:22.940 --> 00:30:23.800 What does it mean positively? 00:30:24.020 --> 00:30:25.320 What does this submission mean? 00:30:26.300 --> 00:30:27.259 What does it look like? 00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:31.000 Here's the best way I think I can get at this. 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:37.579 Paul says, think about your husband like a head. 00:30:37.579 --> 00:30:42.299 And this is what he means by that, I think. 00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:46.379 If Christ were to personally show up at your door tonight, 00:30:46.859 --> 00:30:50.639 and he would want a full report of how things are going, 00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:54.819 of how things are being done in your marriage in line with his kingdom and his grace, 00:30:55.220 --> 00:30:58.119 if Christ were to come knocking and he were to say, 00:30:58.220 --> 00:30:59.119 it's time to give an account, 00:30:59.960 --> 00:31:01.199 who would he look at first? 00:31:02.879 --> 00:31:03.500 The husband. 00:31:03.500 --> 00:31:07.579 That's what it means to be the head. 00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:15.200 The husband carries the weight of the responsibility before God of how that marriage is being lived out. 00:31:16.740 --> 00:31:18.539 The buck stops with him. 00:31:21.339 --> 00:31:23.920 Now, that doesn't mean that the wife has no responsibility. 00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:24.859 Of course she does. 00:31:25.079 --> 00:31:25.460 Of course. 00:31:26.380 --> 00:31:28.380 But in God's ordering of the relationship, 00:31:28.519 --> 00:31:32.400 the husband is held to account first for the health of that marriage. 00:31:33.500 --> 00:31:34.819 That's what it means to be the head. 00:31:36.839 --> 00:31:37.759 So wives, 00:31:38.819 --> 00:31:40.460 as you think of submission, 00:31:41.619 --> 00:31:42.599 think of it this way. 00:31:44.420 --> 00:31:46.900 Are you for your husband? 00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:54.680 Are you doing your best to help him carry out that responsibility well? 00:31:55.779 --> 00:31:58.859 Are you bringing your gifts and your talents to bear, 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:00.019 to build him up, 00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:01.920 to call forth his best? 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:05.200 Because here's the thing. 00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:08.079 Your husband needs your strengths. 00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:12.099 And he needs you to be on his team. 00:32:14.519 --> 00:32:16.359 Submission is not passivity. 00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:20.240 If there's anything we learn from Genesis 1 and 2, 00:32:20.380 --> 00:32:23.640 it's that the wife needs to bring her strengths to bear 00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:25.539 because God gives that couple a mission 00:32:25.539 --> 00:32:29.500 to multiply and create culture 00:32:29.500 --> 00:32:30.960 and do it all together. 00:32:31.859 --> 00:32:32.500 And he says, 00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:33.940 you're going to need each other to do that. 00:32:35.619 --> 00:32:37.000 Submission isn't passivity. 00:32:37.140 --> 00:32:37.579 It's not saying, 00:32:37.700 --> 00:32:38.039 yes, dear, 00:32:38.119 --> 00:32:38.900 whatever you say. 00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:39.539 No, 00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:40.220 this is submission. 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:40.579 It's saying, 00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:40.960 okay, 00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:42.819 tell me where we're going 00:32:42.819 --> 00:32:45.019 and I'm going to do my best to help us get there. 00:32:45.660 --> 00:32:46.519 I'm in this. 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:47.640 We're in this together 00:32:47.640 --> 00:32:48.720 and I'm for you 00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:50.460 and we're going to make this happen. 00:32:50.460 --> 00:32:53.700 I'm not going to hold back 00:32:53.700 --> 00:32:55.940 and I'm not going to have one foot for you 00:32:55.940 --> 00:32:57.319 and one foot against you. 00:32:58.600 --> 00:32:59.860 That's what Paul means by saying 00:32:59.860 --> 00:33:02.039 that wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 00:33:02.500 --> 00:33:05.019 Not that wives should have no mind of their own, 00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:06.980 but that they should be all in. 00:33:07.960 --> 00:33:10.840 Just as the husband loves the wife in a comprehensive way, 00:33:10.920 --> 00:33:12.740 so the wife respects and supports 00:33:12.740 --> 00:33:15.360 and submits in a comprehensive way. 00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:18.500 Now look, 00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:21.359 if your husband is planning to do something that's foolish, 00:33:22.159 --> 00:33:23.819 like spend all of your retirement money 00:33:23.819 --> 00:33:25.259 on some get rich quick scheme, 00:33:25.719 --> 00:33:26.899 what does submission look like? 00:33:28.419 --> 00:33:30.979 I think it looks like bringing all of your best gifts to bear 00:33:30.979 --> 00:33:31.679 to help him see 00:33:31.679 --> 00:33:33.179 that that's probably not the right thing to do. 00:33:34.159 --> 00:33:36.359 That's what real strong submission looks like 00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:37.139 in that moment. 00:33:37.399 --> 00:33:38.759 You're still for him, right? 00:33:39.679 --> 00:33:41.319 And being for him in that moment 00:33:41.319 --> 00:33:42.439 looks like pleading with him, 00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:43.279 respecting him, 00:33:43.339 --> 00:33:44.359 not calling him an idiot, 00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:46.500 not saying you always do this with the money, 00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:47.199 but saying, look, 00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:49.079 I'm for you and I'm for us in this. 00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:50.379 I want us to flourish. 00:33:50.740 --> 00:33:52.519 Can we think about the best thing to do here? 00:33:53.419 --> 00:33:55.459 Doing all that's in your power in that moment 00:33:55.459 --> 00:33:57.359 to help him not do something foolish, 00:33:57.779 --> 00:33:59.479 but to live into his calling 00:33:59.479 --> 00:34:02.639 as the one who bears the responsibility, 00:34:03.139 --> 00:34:03.519 ultimately, 00:34:03.939 --> 00:34:04.719 for that marriage 00:34:04.719 --> 00:34:06.139 to help him live that out well. 00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:09.199 But you know, 00:34:09.219 --> 00:34:10.279 the reality is for most of us, 00:34:10.339 --> 00:34:11.199 day in and day out, 00:34:11.880 --> 00:34:12.799 the danger isn't, 00:34:12.799 --> 00:34:13.539 oh my goodness, 00:34:13.539 --> 00:34:15.059 my husband's going to do something really foolish, 00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:15.860 how do I stop him? 00:34:17.860 --> 00:34:19.759 I think the danger for most of us, 00:34:19.800 --> 00:34:20.400 day in and day out, 00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:21.079 is competition. 00:34:23.699 --> 00:34:24.179 That is, 00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:25.139 we're always second guessing, 00:34:25.860 --> 00:34:27.000 we're always doubting, 00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:29.719 we're always maybe even undermining, 00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:32.159 we're always sort of one foot in, 00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:32.800 one foot out. 00:34:33.340 --> 00:34:34.119 And Paul's saying, 00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:34.920 no, no, no, no, no. 00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:37.079 Respect. 00:34:38.039 --> 00:34:38.440 Submit. 00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:42.760 Bring your best to bear in support. 00:34:44.019 --> 00:34:46.099 That's what strong submission looks like. 00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.179 Okay, so there's the pattern. 00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:51.260 Love and respect. 00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:55.940 Now imagine if that's what our marriages were like. 00:34:56.980 --> 00:34:58.800 What if people looked at marriages in the church 00:34:58.800 --> 00:34:59.679 and here's what they saw. 00:34:59.679 --> 00:35:02.779 They saw this dance 00:35:02.779 --> 00:35:05.519 where husbands 00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:09.319 were just constantly laying down their lives 00:35:09.319 --> 00:35:12.599 and thinking of ways that they could creatively, 00:35:13.159 --> 00:35:14.059 sacrificially, 00:35:14.199 --> 00:35:16.599 allow their wives to flourish. 00:35:18.179 --> 00:35:18.859 And wives, 00:35:18.960 --> 00:35:21.139 sort of meeting that self-sacrificial love, 00:35:21.359 --> 00:35:23.739 were doing everything in their power and strength 00:35:23.739 --> 00:35:25.759 to help the husband 00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:27.040 lead well, 00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:28.160 guide well, 00:35:28.460 --> 00:35:29.580 set a vision well, 00:35:30.180 --> 00:35:32.600 carry that responsibility of headship well. 00:35:34.640 --> 00:35:37.040 What if that's what people saw in marriages? 00:35:38.060 --> 00:35:38.660 Not fighting, 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:39.600 not bickering, 00:35:39.900 --> 00:35:40.740 not me versus you, 00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:41.860 not 50-50, 00:35:42.120 --> 00:35:42.720 you do this, 00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:43.340 I do this, 00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:44.280 ooh, you didn't do that, 00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:45.400 and now I'm not doing this. 00:35:45.620 --> 00:35:46.720 No, what if they saw 00:35:46.720 --> 00:35:48.940 a marriage where it was all in? 00:35:50.540 --> 00:35:53.060 And that self-giving love 00:35:53.060 --> 00:35:54.800 and that strong submission 00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:57.060 actually wasn't contingent 00:35:57.060 --> 00:35:58.700 on the other person doing their part, 00:35:59.260 --> 00:36:01.400 but it was given unconditionally. 00:36:03.160 --> 00:36:04.560 Notice that what Paul says here, 00:36:05.260 --> 00:36:06.300 he doesn't say to the husbands, 00:36:06.440 --> 00:36:06.940 hey husbands, 00:36:07.420 --> 00:36:08.860 this gives you the right 00:36:08.860 --> 00:36:09.660 to turn around 00:36:09.660 --> 00:36:11.019 and wail your wife 00:36:11.019 --> 00:36:11.740 every time, 00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:12.260 you know, 00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:13.039 she's not submitting. 00:36:13.260 --> 00:36:14.620 Why aren't you submitting better? 00:36:15.140 --> 00:36:16.140 And it doesn't give the wife 00:36:16.140 --> 00:36:16.880 the right to turn around and say, 00:36:16.980 --> 00:36:18.080 why aren't you loving me 00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:18.740 sacrificial better? 00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:19.420 No, he's saying, 00:36:19.700 --> 00:36:21.539 focus on your own part of the dance. 00:36:23.640 --> 00:36:24.039 Husbands, 00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:25.739 don't think about how well 00:36:25.739 --> 00:36:27.119 your wife is submitting to you. 00:36:27.239 --> 00:36:29.139 You've got enough to do 00:36:29.139 --> 00:36:31.039 by just loving your wife well. 00:36:31.779 --> 00:36:32.159 Wives, 00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:33.880 don't keep score 00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:35.019 with how well he's loving you. 00:36:35.059 --> 00:36:35.880 You've got enough to do 00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:37.539 to bring all your gifts to bear 00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:40.019 to make sure that he succeeds. 00:36:41.179 --> 00:36:43.000 You focus on doing your own jobs. 00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:44.500 And you know, 00:36:45.539 --> 00:36:46.779 99% of the time, 00:36:47.619 --> 00:36:48.639 it's going to work itself out. 00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:52.619 What if that's what people saw? 00:36:54.119 --> 00:36:54.460 Friends, 00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:55.420 I think they'd see a picture 00:36:55.420 --> 00:36:56.639 of Christ's love for his church. 00:36:57.059 --> 00:36:58.079 They'd see the mystery. 00:36:59.379 --> 00:37:00.400 They'd see the beauty 00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:02.119 of how faithful 00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:02.920 and unconditional 00:37:02.920 --> 00:37:05.460 and loving Christ is for us. 00:37:09.159 --> 00:37:09.799 But of course, 00:37:09.859 --> 00:37:10.559 you don't need me 00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:11.339 to tell you 00:37:11.339 --> 00:37:13.079 that that pattern 00:37:13.079 --> 00:37:14.519 that we just sketched out 00:37:14.519 --> 00:37:15.599 for the last 15 minutes 00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:17.460 is immensely hard. 00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:20.420 Where do we get the power 00:37:20.420 --> 00:37:21.819 to actually do that? 00:37:23.460 --> 00:37:24.319 Do we just sort of 00:37:24.319 --> 00:37:25.039 pull ourselves up 00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:25.860 by our bootstraps 00:37:25.860 --> 00:37:26.199 and say, 00:37:26.299 --> 00:37:26.980 I'm going to love 00:37:26.980 --> 00:37:27.839 like Christ today. 00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:29.259 I'm going to submit today. 00:37:30.880 --> 00:37:32.139 That'll last for a little while, 00:37:32.699 --> 00:37:33.619 but it'll run out. 00:37:35.099 --> 00:37:36.619 Paul's got a better answer for us. 00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:37.940 And it's actually 00:37:37.940 --> 00:37:40.019 right before our passage. 00:37:41.759 --> 00:37:43.039 Look at verse 18. 00:37:46.599 --> 00:37:47.299 Verse 18. 00:37:47.400 --> 00:37:48.239 This is the context. 00:37:48.319 --> 00:37:49.500 This is what leads up 00:37:49.500 --> 00:37:50.319 into Paul talking 00:37:50.319 --> 00:37:51.079 about husbands and wives. 00:37:51.159 --> 00:37:52.360 This is the precursor. 00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:53.639 This is the precondition 00:37:53.639 --> 00:37:55.079 of what's going to make 00:37:55.079 --> 00:37:55.739 this possible. 00:37:56.420 --> 00:37:56.639 He says, 00:37:56.759 --> 00:37:57.539 don't get drunk with wine 00:37:57.539 --> 00:37:58.319 for that is a botry, 00:37:58.420 --> 00:37:59.420 but be filled 00:37:59.420 --> 00:38:00.860 with the spirit. 00:38:02.199 --> 00:38:03.199 Be filled 00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:04.420 with the spirit. 00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:07.420 How are you going to live out 00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:08.539 this kind of marriage? 00:38:09.139 --> 00:38:09.639 Paul's saying, 00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:10.539 here's what you need. 00:38:11.460 --> 00:38:12.679 You need God himself 00:38:12.679 --> 00:38:14.119 living inside of you, 00:38:14.380 --> 00:38:15.039 working in you, 00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:15.840 filling you 00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:16.860 so that you can do this. 00:38:20.099 --> 00:38:20.659 Tim Keller, 00:38:20.759 --> 00:38:22.259 who wrote a really great book 00:38:22.259 --> 00:38:22.880 on marriage, 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:23.619 which is really just 00:38:23.619 --> 00:38:25.059 an exposition of this text, 00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:25.900 has a whole chapter 00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:27.380 called The Power for Marriage. 00:38:27.920 --> 00:38:29.460 And he makes the same point. 00:38:30.099 --> 00:38:30.639 And he says, 00:38:30.699 --> 00:38:31.599 what does the spirit do? 00:38:31.759 --> 00:38:32.420 What's the ministry 00:38:32.420 --> 00:38:32.900 of the spirit? 00:38:33.079 --> 00:38:33.519 What does it look like 00:38:33.519 --> 00:38:34.579 to be filled with the spirit? 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:36.860 And he says something 00:38:36.860 --> 00:38:37.559 really straightforward 00:38:37.559 --> 00:38:38.679 to help us understand it. 00:38:38.779 --> 00:38:39.099 He says, 00:38:39.099 --> 00:38:40.239 what the spirit does 00:38:40.239 --> 00:38:41.579 is that he makes 00:38:41.579 --> 00:38:42.679 the truth of Christ 00:38:42.679 --> 00:38:44.059 clear to our minds 00:38:44.059 --> 00:38:45.619 and real to our hearts. 00:38:46.739 --> 00:38:48.219 The ministry of the Holy Spirit 00:38:48.219 --> 00:38:49.359 is to take the truth 00:38:49.359 --> 00:38:50.500 of who Christ is 00:38:50.500 --> 00:38:52.000 and what Christ has done 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:53.279 and to make it clear 00:38:53.279 --> 00:38:53.899 to your mind 00:38:53.899 --> 00:38:54.859 so you understand it 00:38:54.859 --> 00:38:56.319 and to make it real 00:38:56.319 --> 00:38:56.859 to your heart 00:38:56.859 --> 00:38:58.399 so it burns inside of you. 00:39:01.099 --> 00:39:02.099 And Paul's saying here, 00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:03.199 that's what we need. 00:39:03.199 --> 00:39:05.839 in order to step out 00:39:05.839 --> 00:39:06.639 of ourselves 00:39:06.639 --> 00:39:08.939 for our spouse, 00:39:09.739 --> 00:39:10.799 we need to see 00:39:10.799 --> 00:39:11.859 that Christ stepped out 00:39:11.859 --> 00:39:12.939 of himself for us. 00:39:13.839 --> 00:39:14.579 We need the spirit 00:39:14.579 --> 00:39:15.419 to take that truth 00:39:15.419 --> 00:39:16.439 and light it aflame 00:39:16.439 --> 00:39:17.079 in our hearts. 00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:21.359 We need to see 00:39:21.359 --> 00:39:23.239 that this is what 00:39:23.239 --> 00:39:24.379 Jesus has done for us. 00:39:26.339 --> 00:39:27.419 And we need to see 00:39:27.419 --> 00:39:28.079 that in Christ 00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:28.980 there's an even greater 00:39:28.980 --> 00:39:29.699 wedding to come. 00:39:30.019 --> 00:39:30.939 This is what we talked about 00:39:30.939 --> 00:39:32.119 at the very beginning. 00:39:33.199 --> 00:39:34.119 Because you know, friends, 00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:35.719 if every wedding, 00:39:35.819 --> 00:39:36.819 if every marriage 00:39:36.819 --> 00:39:38.119 is about the history 00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:38.559 of redemption, 00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:40.879 if every marriage 00:39:40.879 --> 00:39:41.899 points to Christ, 00:39:43.159 --> 00:39:43.399 you know, 00:39:43.439 --> 00:39:44.219 the history of redemption 00:39:44.219 --> 00:39:46.099 is also about a marriage. 00:39:47.319 --> 00:39:48.039 Think about it. 00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:50.519 God creates a human couple 00:39:50.519 --> 00:39:51.500 in the garden. 00:39:52.099 --> 00:39:53.039 Why does he create them? 00:39:53.419 --> 00:39:54.219 To bear his image, 00:39:54.319 --> 00:39:54.939 but ultimately 00:39:54.939 --> 00:39:56.219 so that he would have 00:39:56.219 --> 00:39:57.019 fellowship with them. 00:39:57.980 --> 00:39:59.079 So they would walk with him 00:39:59.079 --> 00:39:59.579 and know him 00:39:59.579 --> 00:40:00.339 in the cool of the day 00:40:00.339 --> 00:40:01.759 and so that he could say to them, 00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:02.980 I'll be your God. 00:40:03.199 --> 00:40:04.379 And you be my people. 00:40:05.219 --> 00:40:06.219 And then when that goes 00:40:06.219 --> 00:40:07.460 totally awry, 00:40:08.119 --> 00:40:09.359 when they decide 00:40:09.359 --> 00:40:10.619 that they'd rather 00:40:10.619 --> 00:40:11.480 serve themselves 00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:12.379 and serve other gods 00:40:12.379 --> 00:40:12.839 than him, 00:40:13.279 --> 00:40:14.159 what does God do? 00:40:15.199 --> 00:40:17.019 Like a faithful spouse, 00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:18.039 he comes after them. 00:40:19.879 --> 00:40:21.339 And he comes after them first 00:40:21.339 --> 00:40:22.219 in the person of Abraham. 00:40:22.399 --> 00:40:22.559 He says, 00:40:22.619 --> 00:40:22.859 Abraham, 00:40:23.059 --> 00:40:23.859 I'm going to bless your family 00:40:23.859 --> 00:40:24.399 and through your family 00:40:24.399 --> 00:40:25.399 I'm going to bless everyone else. 00:40:25.619 --> 00:40:26.839 And the family that crops up 00:40:26.839 --> 00:40:27.119 is what? 00:40:27.179 --> 00:40:27.599 Is Israel. 00:40:27.839 --> 00:40:28.719 And you know how God 00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:29.460 relates to Israel, 00:40:29.539 --> 00:40:30.319 how he calls himself 00:40:30.319 --> 00:40:31.799 in relationship to Israel 00:40:31.799 --> 00:40:32.579 throughout the Old Testament? 00:40:33.340 --> 00:40:33.699 He says, 00:40:33.739 --> 00:40:34.279 I'm your husband 00:40:34.279 --> 00:40:35.719 and you're my lover 00:40:35.719 --> 00:40:37.279 and I love you 00:40:37.279 --> 00:40:38.519 with an undying love 00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:40.039 and I'm going to be your God 00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:41.460 and you're going to be my people. 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:43.579 And you know what happens 00:40:43.579 --> 00:40:44.360 throughout the Old Testament? 00:40:45.460 --> 00:40:46.619 They choose other lovers 00:40:46.619 --> 00:40:47.880 and they turn away 00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:49.699 and like a wayward spouse 00:40:49.699 --> 00:40:50.259 they just keep 00:40:50.259 --> 00:40:51.980 fleeing after other lovers. 00:40:51.980 --> 00:40:54.900 And then there's this prophet 00:40:54.900 --> 00:40:55.619 that comes along 00:40:55.619 --> 00:40:57.440 in the 8th century 00:40:57.440 --> 00:40:58.940 named Hosea. 00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:00.380 And God says, 00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:00.940 okay Hosea, 00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:01.920 here's what I want you to do. 00:41:02.699 --> 00:41:03.420 I want you to go out 00:41:03.420 --> 00:41:05.260 and I want you to marry someone 00:41:05.260 --> 00:41:07.000 and she's going to cheat on you 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:08.000 and she's going to run from you 00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:08.780 and she's going to give herself 00:41:08.780 --> 00:41:09.500 to prostitution 00:41:09.500 --> 00:41:10.719 and then here's what I want you to do. 00:41:10.900 --> 00:41:11.639 I want you to go 00:41:11.639 --> 00:41:12.639 and I want you to buy her back 00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:13.980 and I want you to keep loving her. 00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:16.079 And I want you to keep 00:41:16.079 --> 00:41:17.179 being faithful to her. 00:41:17.179 --> 00:41:19.679 because I want my people 00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:21.139 to see through you 00:41:21.139 --> 00:41:22.319 what I'm like. 00:41:24.519 --> 00:41:25.699 And God says in Hosea, 00:41:25.799 --> 00:41:26.779 here's what I'm going to do to you. 00:41:27.019 --> 00:41:28.059 I'm going to woo you, 00:41:28.139 --> 00:41:28.500 my people, 00:41:28.639 --> 00:41:29.699 back out into the wilderness 00:41:29.699 --> 00:41:31.379 and I'm going to reaffirm 00:41:31.379 --> 00:41:32.239 my love for you. 00:41:33.739 --> 00:41:34.859 And about 800 years 00:41:34.859 --> 00:41:35.559 after Hosea, 00:41:35.639 --> 00:41:36.299 you know what happens? 00:41:36.980 --> 00:41:38.079 A prophet shows up 00:41:38.079 --> 00:41:39.000 in the middle of the wilderness 00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:39.779 screaming, 00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:41.339 repent for the kingdom of God 00:41:41.339 --> 00:41:41.899 is at hand. 00:41:42.739 --> 00:41:43.779 And then who comes 00:41:43.779 --> 00:41:44.579 after John the Baptist? 00:41:44.739 --> 00:41:45.039 Jesus. 00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:46.099 You know how Jesus 00:41:46.099 --> 00:41:47.000 talks about himself? 00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:48.519 He says, 00:41:48.559 --> 00:41:49.319 I'm a bridegroom 00:41:49.319 --> 00:41:50.839 and I've come for my bride. 00:41:51.919 --> 00:41:52.859 And he dies. 00:41:54.259 --> 00:41:54.659 Yeah. 00:41:57.539 --> 00:41:58.699 And he cleanses 00:41:58.699 --> 00:41:59.579 all of our sin. 00:42:01.879 --> 00:42:02.919 He brings us home. 00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:07.199 And then Jesus says, 00:42:07.359 --> 00:42:07.639 ah, 00:42:07.980 --> 00:42:08.859 I've got something 00:42:08.859 --> 00:42:10.119 even better in store for you 00:42:10.119 --> 00:42:12.099 because when I come back, 00:42:12.239 --> 00:42:13.659 I'm going to put all this sin 00:42:13.659 --> 00:42:15.159 and all this death away. 00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:16.960 And at that moment, 00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:18.599 even though you've been wandering 00:42:18.599 --> 00:42:19.659 through the wilderness church 00:42:19.659 --> 00:42:20.820 and even though you've wondered 00:42:20.820 --> 00:42:21.539 where I am 00:42:21.539 --> 00:42:22.440 and even though you've 00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:23.559 constantly questioned 00:42:23.559 --> 00:42:25.179 whether I will really be your God 00:42:25.179 --> 00:42:26.420 and whether you will 00:42:26.420 --> 00:42:27.340 really be my people, 00:42:27.539 --> 00:42:28.760 when I come back, 00:42:29.059 --> 00:42:30.199 we're going to throw a party. 00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:31.800 And in that moment, 00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:33.000 you're going to be roped in white 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:34.340 with my own righteousness 00:42:34.340 --> 00:42:36.119 and you're going to know 00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:38.280 that you have been the thing 00:42:38.280 --> 00:42:40.280 that's driven me from day one 00:42:40.280 --> 00:42:41.539 to have you, 00:42:41.800 --> 00:42:42.360 my church, 00:42:42.420 --> 00:42:43.699 with me for eternity. 00:42:43.699 --> 00:42:46.480 And at the marriage supper 00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:47.119 of the Lamb, 00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:48.559 we're going to feast 00:42:48.559 --> 00:42:49.599 and we're going to be 00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:50.439 with Christ forever 00:42:50.439 --> 00:42:51.079 and then you know 00:42:51.079 --> 00:42:51.639 what's going to happen? 00:42:52.199 --> 00:42:52.859 We're going to rule 00:42:52.859 --> 00:42:53.579 and reign with him. 00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:55.619 That's how the book 00:42:55.619 --> 00:42:56.439 of Revelation ends. 00:42:57.259 --> 00:42:58.519 We're going to see his face 00:42:58.519 --> 00:43:00.279 and they reign with him forever. 00:43:01.219 --> 00:43:02.359 That Christ is going to have 00:43:02.359 --> 00:43:02.960 his bride 00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:03.839 and together 00:43:03.839 --> 00:43:06.299 we're going to shine 00:43:06.299 --> 00:43:07.139 the image of God 00:43:07.139 --> 00:43:08.159 throughout the new creation 00:43:08.159 --> 00:43:10.239 and we're going to create culture 00:43:10.239 --> 00:43:12.819 and we're going to see peace 00:43:12.819 --> 00:43:13.619 and we're going to see 00:43:13.619 --> 00:43:14.359 God's glory 00:43:14.359 --> 00:43:16.039 cover the world 00:43:16.039 --> 00:43:17.279 like the waters cover the sea. 00:43:18.579 --> 00:43:19.659 That through that man, 00:43:19.839 --> 00:43:20.500 Jesus Christ, 00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:21.480 and through that woman, 00:43:21.579 --> 00:43:22.139 his bride, 00:43:22.619 --> 00:43:23.239 God's purposes 00:43:23.239 --> 00:43:24.179 are going to be fulfilled. 00:43:26.179 --> 00:43:26.599 Friends, 00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:27.399 that's what marriage 00:43:27.399 --> 00:43:27.960 is all about. 00:43:28.339 --> 00:43:29.000 That's what the history 00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:29.480 of redemption 00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:30.099 is all about. 00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:31.339 That's the story 00:43:31.339 --> 00:43:32.139 you're a part of. 00:43:33.839 --> 00:43:35.480 So when Christ asks you 00:43:35.480 --> 00:43:36.319 to say, 00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:36.720 hey, 00:43:37.300 --> 00:43:38.840 stay single for me. 00:43:40.059 --> 00:43:40.440 Wait, 00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:41.200 be patient. 00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:42.640 Do you know 00:43:42.640 --> 00:43:43.800 what you have in store for you? 00:43:44.240 --> 00:43:45.039 A wedding 00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:45.820 and a feast 00:43:45.820 --> 00:43:47.200 that will blow your mind. 00:43:48.200 --> 00:43:49.280 And when Christ says to you, 00:43:49.340 --> 00:43:49.480 hey, 00:43:49.539 --> 00:43:50.320 I want you to lay down 00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:51.740 your life for your wife. 00:43:51.820 --> 00:43:52.340 I want you to, 00:43:52.400 --> 00:43:53.519 I want you to lay down 00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:54.720 your life for your husband. 00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:56.600 Okay, 00:43:56.680 --> 00:43:56.920 Lord, 00:43:57.860 --> 00:43:59.240 what you've done for me 00:43:59.240 --> 00:44:01.340 can't even touch 00:44:01.340 --> 00:44:02.380 what you're asking me to do 00:44:02.380 --> 00:44:03.039 for my husband, 00:44:03.420 --> 00:44:04.200 for my wife. 00:44:04.660 --> 00:44:05.700 Gladly I will do it. 00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:07.300 Because I know 00:44:07.300 --> 00:44:07.900 what's in store 00:44:07.900 --> 00:44:08.420 and I know 00:44:08.420 --> 00:44:09.220 what you promise. 00:44:10.019 --> 00:44:10.780 And all your ways 00:44:10.780 --> 00:44:11.220 are good. 00:44:14.500 --> 00:44:15.059 So friends, 00:44:15.120 --> 00:44:15.559 when the Spirit 00:44:15.559 --> 00:44:16.280 takes that 00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:17.700 truth of the Bible, 00:44:18.240 --> 00:44:18.880 when he lights 00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:19.800 that up in your heart, 00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:21.980 that's what it means 00:44:21.980 --> 00:44:22.380 to be filled 00:44:22.380 --> 00:44:22.920 with the Spirit. 00:44:24.460 --> 00:44:25.260 When in prayer, 00:44:25.580 --> 00:44:26.260 when in worship, 00:44:26.600 --> 00:44:27.220 when in the hearing 00:44:27.220 --> 00:44:27.940 of his word, 00:44:29.240 --> 00:44:30.280 when the Spirit 00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:31.100 takes that 00:44:31.100 --> 00:44:33.260 and lights it up 00:44:33.260 --> 00:44:33.960 inside of you, 00:44:34.100 --> 00:44:34.800 then you can live out 00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:35.240 the pattern, 00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:36.440 whether married 00:44:36.440 --> 00:44:36.920 or single, 00:44:37.680 --> 00:44:38.360 and then we start 00:44:38.360 --> 00:44:39.300 to display the point 00:44:39.300 --> 00:44:40.620 of this whole thing. 00:44:41.660 --> 00:44:42.340 Then the mystery 00:44:42.340 --> 00:44:43.200 starts to get seen. 00:44:44.720 --> 00:44:45.320 Let's pray. 00:44:48.260 --> 00:44:48.860 Lord Jesus, 00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:49.720 thank you so much 00:44:49.720 --> 00:44:51.860 for the gift 00:44:51.860 --> 00:44:52.660 of marriage. 00:44:53.380 --> 00:44:53.960 And Lord, 00:44:54.039 --> 00:44:54.600 thank you 00:44:54.600 --> 00:44:55.539 for your word 00:44:55.539 --> 00:44:56.220 that teaches us 00:44:56.220 --> 00:44:57.200 what marriage is all about. 00:44:57.720 --> 00:44:58.300 And God, 00:44:58.380 --> 00:44:59.360 thank you so much 00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:00.120 that you give us 00:45:00.120 --> 00:45:00.620 your Spirit 00:45:00.620 --> 00:45:01.180 so that we can 00:45:01.180 --> 00:45:02.180 live out these things. 00:45:03.159 --> 00:45:03.599 And Lord, 00:45:03.639 --> 00:45:04.199 now as we come 00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:04.799 to your table, 00:45:05.019 --> 00:45:05.839 as we remember 00:45:05.839 --> 00:45:07.000 all that you've done 00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:07.539 for us, 00:45:08.359 --> 00:45:08.759 God, 00:45:08.859 --> 00:45:09.239 we pray, 00:45:09.319 --> 00:45:09.460 Jesus, 00:45:09.579 --> 00:45:10.339 we pray that your Spirit 00:45:10.339 --> 00:45:10.879 would come 00:45:10.879 --> 00:45:12.519 and take these elements 00:45:12.519 --> 00:45:14.079 and make the gospel 00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:14.859 real to our hearts. 00:45:16.059 --> 00:45:17.000 We need you to do this, 00:45:17.099 --> 00:45:17.159 Lord, 00:45:17.219 --> 00:45:17.639 for us. 00:45:17.980 --> 00:45:18.199 Amen. 00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:21.719 Well, 00:45:21.739 --> 00:45:21.859 friends, 00:45:21.879 --> 00:45:22.379 we're going to go ahead 00:45:22.379 --> 00:45:22.819 and we're going to move 00:45:22.819 --> 00:45:23.500 to communion now. 00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:24.119 We're going to take 00:45:24.119 --> 00:45:25.599 the Lord's Supper together. 00:45:26.919 --> 00:45:27.480 One of the things 00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:28.259 we've decided to do 00:45:28.259 --> 00:45:28.699 as a church 00:45:28.699 --> 00:45:29.259 is to celebrate 00:45:29.259 --> 00:45:29.759 the Lord's Supper 00:45:29.759 --> 00:45:30.460 more regularly. 00:45:30.460 --> 00:45:31.260 So if you're thinking 00:45:31.260 --> 00:45:31.720 to yourself, 00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:32.240 wait a second, 00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:33.280 it's not the first Sunday 00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:33.679 of the month. 00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:34.679 Why are we doing communion? 00:45:34.980 --> 00:45:36.059 Did someone make a mistake? 00:45:36.579 --> 00:45:36.900 No, 00:45:36.980 --> 00:45:37.380 we're going to start 00:45:37.380 --> 00:45:38.179 doing it twice a month 00:45:38.179 --> 00:45:39.380 because we think 00:45:39.380 --> 00:45:40.220 that these are gifts 00:45:40.220 --> 00:45:41.179 that Christ gave 00:45:41.179 --> 00:45:41.579 to his church, 00:45:41.599 --> 00:45:42.320 not because they're magic 00:45:42.320 --> 00:45:42.699 or anything, 00:45:42.699 --> 00:45:43.420 but because this is 00:45:43.420 --> 00:45:44.119 a tangible way 00:45:44.119 --> 00:45:44.800 for you to remember 00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:45.340 all that Jesus 00:45:45.340 --> 00:45:46.039 has done for you. 00:45:46.980 --> 00:45:47.220 Right? 00:45:47.300 --> 00:45:47.980 We talked a lot 00:45:47.980 --> 00:45:48.780 about Jesus being 00:45:48.780 --> 00:45:51.199 the true bride, 00:45:51.300 --> 00:45:52.139 the true groom, 00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:53.559 the true bridegroom, 00:45:54.019 --> 00:45:54.980 the true spouse. 00:45:55.659 --> 00:45:56.360 And look what he's done 00:45:56.360 --> 00:45:56.740 for you. 00:45:57.500 --> 00:45:58.480 His body's been broken 00:45:58.480 --> 00:45:58.840 for you. 00:45:58.920 --> 00:45:59.780 His blood has been 00:45:59.780 --> 00:46:00.420 shed for you. 00:46:00.780 --> 00:46:01.760 He's risen again. 00:46:03.199 --> 00:46:04.039 This is what Paul says 00:46:04.039 --> 00:46:04.960 in 1 Corinthians.