Morning everyone. So today's reading is from Proverbs chapter 7.
My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you.
Keep my commandments and live.
Keep my teaching as the apple of your eye.
Find them on your fingers.
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Say to wisdom, you are my sister.
And call inside your intimate friend.
To keep you from the forbidden woman.
From the adulteress with her smooth words.
For at the window of my house I have looked out through the lattice.
And I have seen among the simple.
I have perceived among the youths.
A young man lacking sense.
Passing along the street near her corner.
Taking the road to her house in the twilight.
In the evening at the time of night and darkness.
And behold, the woman meets him dressed as a prostitute.
Wily of heart.
She is loud and wayward.
Her feet do not stay at home.
Now in the street.
Now in the market.
And at every corner she lies in wait.
She seizes him and kisses him.
And with bold face she says to him.
I had to offer sacrifices.
And today I have paid my vows.
So now I have come out to meet you.
To seek you eagerly.
And I have found you.
I have spread my couch with coverings.
Coloured linens from Egyptian linen.
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning.
Let us delight ourselves with love.
For my husband is not at home.
He has gone on a long journey.
He took a bag of money with him.
At full moon he will come home.
With much seductive speech she persuades him.
With her smooth talk she compels him.
All at once he follows her.
As an ox goes to the slaughter.
Or as a stag is caught fast.
Till an arrow pieces its liver.
As a bird rushes into a snare.
He does not know that it will cost him his life.
And now, O sons, listen to me.
And be attentive to the words of my mouth.
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways.
Do not stray into her paths.
For many a victim has she laid low.
And all her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is the way to Sheol.
Going down to the chambers of death.
Well, good morning everyone.
I'm really thankful to Simon for his introduction earlier on.
I guess it's actually true that I do spend a lot of time
talking to myself with nobody listening.
But I should point out, as you evaluate what Simon said about me,
that his response to one of those safety slides
where the guy was hanging out of the building cleaning the window
on the 32nd floor was that the only issue Simon could see
was the guy didn't have a shirt on, so he was going to get sunburned.
So, factor that in as you evaluate Simon's comment about me.
Question to get us going this morning
as we want to jump into this familiar and perhaps foreboding chapter.
Why do people find themselves doing that which they know is not good for them?
We would typically say, well, it's a bad habit.
And that's true.
But then the question becomes, why are habits so compulsive?
Especially when they're destructive.
To help us understand this, I want to introduce a personal thing.
I want to introduce you to my habit of comfort eating
or what I would like to see as the idol of comfort eating.
Now, we might think idols are images of a god
that some remote tribe might worship.
And that's true.
But idols are actually much more immediate and much more personal.
All of us, I believe, have idols.
We worship many idols.
Some of them we know about.
Some of them we haven't even discovered yet.
So, the question is then, personally, why do I overeat?
Well, again, I might just say, well, it's a habit.
It's a habit I've developed because it's been part of the culture of my family
or because I like food.
And I do.
But why do I continue to overeat when I see myself getting fat?
When I know it's bad for my health long term?
And when Alison constantly says, stop eating.
You don't need to eat.
Now, I've tried to tell myself, just say to myself, stop eating.
You don't need to eat.
But strangely, when I do that, it actually increases the craving for food.
It increases the craving to the point where I actually dominate.
I can't think of anything else except food.
It's really weird.
I can sit there watching TV thinking about what I could be getting to snack out of the cupboard.
That's how compulsive it is.
That's how dominating it is.
A couple of years ago, just in a random conversation, Rob Patterson made a comment to me
that totally opened up a new perspective on eating for me
and has helped me actually start breaking the habit of comfort eating.
He suggested to me that eating can be an idol.
That is, eating is something that can be done to achieve a goal buried deep in my thinking.
So the eating isn't for the eating's sake.
It's for what the eating promises to deliver to me.
So from that point, I was forced to admit I was a comfort eater.
My mom has been a comfort eater over her years,
and I always wanted to say I wasn't like my mom at that point.
But I was forced to say I was a comfort eater.
That is, eating for me is a coping strategy.
It's a go-to behavior because I think it will deliver a goal or an outcome
that I believe I need or want or desire.
And that associated with eating is a sense of feeling as if I've got a space to unwind,
to feel relaxed, to feel sort of comfortable and safe,
to feel satisfied in the midst of a day when there might have been turmoil all around me.
I withdraw and I eat.
And so it's no surprise then, I can also detect in my life,
that the greater the stress in my life or work or relationships,
the more likely I am to overeat.
And so I want to say it in these terms,
that the idol of overeating demands ever-increasing sacrifices from me.
That is, I find over the years that I've had to eat more and more to get the same outcome,
to get the same results, to get the same level of satisfaction.
And so it becomes a habit.
But it's more than a habit.
It's an idol.
It's something I worship.
It controls me.
And it controlled me regardless.
I sacrificed that idol,
regardless of the cost to my overall health and a growing belly.
And so as a Christian then,
I realized that I was trying to find in food
something that I could only properly find in God.
And so my idol ended up being a cheap substitute
for real satisfaction.
And that was obvious.
It didn't give me lasting satisfaction.
Now, this process of thinking,
these idols exist in so many areas of life.
And if you're not an overeater like me,
perhaps you're a binge alcohol drinker.
Perhaps you're a binge Netflix user.
Perhaps you binge social media.
Perhaps you binge electronic gaming.
Or perhaps you binge at the shops and shopping.
Perhaps for you it's work.
Or being outstanding in your career.
Maybe that's your idol.
Maybe that's the thing that you sacrifice everything for.
Because you hope it will deliver the outcome of satisfaction and fulfillment.
Perhaps your idol is simply being happy.
Being married.
Being beautiful.
Being needed.
Being liked.
All of these things can get a hold of us
and cause us to sacrifice again and again
at ever more increasing cost.
Simply to get that which that thing promises delivered to us.
And we push aside or sacrifice whatever we need to sacrifice.
And that might be people.
At one point.
It might be relationships.
At another point.
It might be money.
It might be time.
It might be our health.
All of which will be sacrificed as we chase the goal
which the habit or action promises to deliver to us.
Now, coming closer to the passage.
I want to suggest this morning
that sex easily becomes an idol.
We ask the question,
why do people keep doing wrong things?
Keep showing unfaithfulness in this realm of how we use our sexuality
when we know so jolly well
that the results are destructive?
Very destructive.
I suggest it's much more than just saying to ourselves,
well, don't do that.
Do this.
We've got to see sex and sexuality from a new perspective.
I suggest this morning we've got to see it
as the potential of being an idol
which we're serving.
Because it promises something
that we think we need.
Now, sex, of course, is a good thing.
Make that, hear that very clearly.
Sex is God's idea.
It's built into the very fabric of every single one of us
in all its pleasure.
But it easily becomes an idol.
Something we crave
because we believe it delivers something
we think we need or want or desire.
That is, in the case of sex,
it promises to deliver intimacy.
And intimacy is something we all desperately want.
And intimacy is a feeling of being loved.
A feeling of being valued.
A feeling of fulfillment.
A feeling of being loved.
All of those things are built into the idea of intimacy.
And as people, as individuals,
we desperately crave that.
And so if we're not careful,
then sex can become that idol
and the desire for sex
can start to dominate us
like an addiction.
And that addiction can happen
whether you're married
or in a de facto relationship
or whether you're in a serial monogamy situation
where you say faithfulness is really important
but you don't mind changing partners every 18 months.
or the classic affair
having sex with someone you're not married to
or just one night stand
or pornography
whether it's male pornography visual
or female pornography emotionally driven.
In any of these situations,
sex can become an idol.
That is something that takes a hold of you
and starts to dominate your whole pattern of thinking.
It's a demanding idol.
Pushing a person to sacrifice
whatever is required
to achieve the outcome
it promises
and the person desires.
even though all the evidence says
that it actually delivers destruction and hurt.
Not true intimacy.
Not a lasting reality
of being loved and valued
and happy.
Now, with that perspective
on craving intimacy
and the alternatives
of true and false intimacy
which Martin opened up last week
from chapter 6
and those
that true and false intimacy
correspond with wisdom and foolishness
and with the importance of talking to myself
about the temptation
to settle for false intimacy
let's, with all that in mind
let's jump into chapter 7
with what I hope is a new perspective
this morning
focused on what I'm now wanting to call
the idol of sex.
Now, another question
to step up your thinking.
Why do people opt for sexual unfaithfulness
and betrayal
even when they know
from the experience all around them
that it's so destructive
self-destructive
and destructive to everyone
who's betrayed?
Make the question personal.
Proverbs warned repeatedly
about the awfulness
of unfaithfulness
and betrayal.
But I wonder how you've been
engaging with that
over past weeks
as we work through this series.
Is it something that you think
well that's a problem
for somebody else
and you might actually
have names in your mind
but it's not an issue for me.
It's not something
you're going to get caught
or I'm going to get caught in.
Is it a temptation
that you think
you're immune to?
Or even worse perhaps
is it a temptation
that you recognize
but you think
you're strong enough
to resist
without too much fuss?
C.S. Lewis
I come across
an interesting quote
from C.S. Lewis
and it says this
we often say
that a man
and you could read
a woman in there as well
because it works in reverse
we often say
that a man
driven by lust
wants a woman
but strictly speaking
he does not
want a woman.
What he wants
is a pleasure
to achieve
his inner goal
of being loved
or happy
for which
a beautiful woman
is simply
a necessary piece
of apparatus.
In some ways
it's a confronting statement
isn't it?
And it's profound.
So I'll read it again.
We often say
that a man
driven by lust
wants a woman
but strictly speaking
he does not want a woman
he wants a pleasure
to achieve
his inner goal
of being loved
or happy
for which
a beautiful woman
is simply
a necessary
piece of apparatus.
He would lose
his sin
he's saying
the idol
of sex
has got a hold
of this person
and it's the pleasure
that they're craving
and seeking
in a sense
the woman's irrelevant
or at best
just a tool.
Now of course
as I said before
the reverse
may be said
for a woman.
Lust for both
men and women
is the expression
of a heart idol
a genuine craving
for true intimacy
of being loved
and accepted
and valued
while settling
for a false
or substitute
intimacy
through sex.
and again
it has to be
a false intimacy
because true
and lasting
intimacy
can only be
found in God.
So
when we come
into this picture
here
and we're about
to look into
the details of it
so in practice
adultery
that's talked
about here
and right
through it
Proverbs
adultery
is both
a picture
of unfaithfulness
and betrayal
in practical
relationships
marriage relationship
that's spoken
about here
it's immediate
and earthy
and real
and human
it's both
that
and
simultaneously
a picture
of unfaithfulness
and betrayal
in our relationship
with God
that the two
are essentially
and fundamentally
the same
because each
situation
of unfaithfulness
is chasing
what something
else other
than God
offers us
chasing
after love
and acceptance
and validation
in things
or relationships
other than
that which we
have with God
this passage
is incredibly
confronting
in its description
of what I'm
calling the
slippery slope
the slippery
slide
of seduction
in verses
6 through
to 23
and here's
the point
you see
adultery
doesn't happen
randomly
in a vacuum
there is
always a
process
of small
steps
that are
taken
sometimes
the process
as a whole
unit
happens
fairly quickly
sometimes
and most
often
I would
venture
to suggest
most often
that process
happens rather
slowly
over a long
period of time
but it is
a process
and the
scenario here
is that
of a young
bloke
he's
depicted here
the term
as being
simple
and that
in Proverbs
is a sort
of poetic
descriptive
term
it doesn't
mean he's
lacking intellect
far from it
it means
he's naive
he's
inexperienced
in life
and yet
at the same
time
willful
unwilling
to accept
instruction
in life
and he
drifts
into temptation
here
led by
his thinking
and feelings
convinced
that he
is in
control
of events
when all
the time
this woman
has him
in her
hands
and
moulding
him
like
putty
and the
process
is this
working
through the
verses
fairly
quickly
here
the first
thing
is
verses
8 and
9
imagining
what is
on offer
is what
he's doing
and so
he
that imagination
takes him
to hang
out
near where
she lives
and he
takes
him there
after dark
his
imagining
is already
driving
his
actions
to move
towards
this
woman
he's
already
moving
towards
her
physically
and
verse
10
it says
behold
in other
words
it means
surprise
he moves
here
and he
hangs out
near her
house
and guess
what
oh he
bumps
into her
just
randomly
and
they're
off
and
running
and
when
they
do
meet
she's
dressed
really
provocatively
and her
body
language
is saying
hey
I'm
available
with
an
overpowering
sexuality
and
at
the
very
first
stage
whatever
he
might
think
she
has
taken
control
compartmentalizing
verse 13
is the
next
stage
and by
the way
this isn't
absolute
I'm
just
trying to
put words
in here
to help
us see
how this
process
works
compartmentalizing
verse 13
they embrace
and kiss
the first
movement
of a
monorail
that will
end
in
sexual
intercourse
and
in
the
same
moment
in
verse
14
she
presents
herself
as
being
a
godly
person
and
a
genuine
worshipper
of
God
so
picture
the
moment
she
embraces
this
guy
and
kisses
him
and
he
embraces
her
and
kisses
her
so
it's
a
mutual
thing
and
then
what's
the
conversation
well
actually
you should
know
I've
just
been
to
the
temple
I've
just
actually
done
my
duty
as a
worshipper
of
God
I've
offered
my
sacrifices
compartmentalizing
is
living
with a
massive
disconnect
in life
between
our
what we
would call
our
ordinary
life
or my
life
and my
spiritual
life
thinking
that
one
offsets
the other
because
I
go to
church
because
I
say
my
prayers
because
I
read
my
Bible
because
I
do
all
these
things
well
I'm
obviously
an
obedient
servant
of the
Lord
and so
over
here
I
can
find
space
to do
and find
my
satisfaction
in a
different
way
now
that's
a
really
shocking
reveal
but
it's a
very
common
position
for
people
to
find
themselves
in
because
it
allows
them
next
thing
to
rationalize
or
normalize
their
intentions
and so
they can
say
in the
same
breath
with
no
apparent
conflict
in their
minds
that
okay
I'm a
serious
minded
obedient
servant
of God
now
let's
plan
to have
illicit
sex
together
and then
there's
personalizing
verse
15
and you
can just
hear these
words
so now
I have
come out
to meet
you
to seek
you
eagerly
and I
have
found
you
you are
the person
I've been
looking for
all my
life
only you
can meet
my needs
and give
me the
satisfaction
I've
craved
all my
life
and you
can feel
the bloke
going weak
at the
knees
and it
resonates
with both
their
idols
both of
them are
craving
intimacy
she wants
him
values him
delights in
him
and in
turn
he believes
that only
he can
make her
happy
and then
there's one
more which
I actually
missed out
I don't
know if
it's
Freudian
slip or
the Lord
trying to
tell me
something
but the
next one
I have
in my
notes
here
is
titillation
verses
16 to
18
if you
don't
understand
if you
don't
know
the
word
you'll
know
the
practice
and she
says
I spread
my
couch
with
coverings
and then
she
starts
to
describe
the
situation
come
let us
take
her
fill
of
love
till
morning
let us
delight
ourselves
titillation
is
in her
flirtation
and I
can tell
you now
that all
logic has
gone
from this
guy's
brain
because
in his
senses
he's already
there
he's already
in her
bed
he can
smell it
he can
see it
he can
feel it
because
she's
described
it for
him
and her
words
are
fanning
into
flame
his
sexual
urges
the
train
is
running
at
100
miles
an
hour
and
there's
no
stopping
it
now
and
then
finally
minimizing
verses
16
17
and
18
well
actually
we can
do
this
I'm
on top
of this
and nobody
will know
we won't
get caught
all the
details have
been covered
but verses
22 and 23
in reality
there's always
a huge
cost
but by
this stage
this guy
is so
driven
by his
senses
that he
just walks
into our
bed
falls
into our
bed
like a
dumb
animal
it's a
shocking
reveal
isn't it
and it's a
wonderful
portrayal
of how
an idol
takes hold
of us
and causes
us to
sacrifice
whatever we
need to
sacrifice
to get
what it
promises
us
so what's
the secret
of staying
on the
track
of wisdom
and true
intimacy
well again
I've just
got three or
four headings
here trying
to gather
together the
text
and remember
the text
is poetry
it's picture
language
so none
of this
is meant
to be
taken
in absolute
sense
including
the word
death
it's not
as if
the bible
is saying
anybody
who commits
adultery
automatically
is guaranteed
to death
and go to
hell
it's a
picture
of how
serious
it is
in God's
economy
and persisted
in it
will lead
to death
actual death
and destruction
and hell
but it's a
picture of
see the
seriousness
of it
see that
you're standing
on the abyss
and move
away from
it
so what's
the secret
of staying
on the track
of wisdom
and true
intimacy
well the
first one
I'm suggesting
here is
talk to
yourself
talk to
yourself
about what
is really
important
and true
now it's
commonly said
that talking
to yourself
is the first
sign of
madness
that's
ridiculous
firstly
because we're
always talking
to ourselves
it's just
that sometimes
when we talk
to ourselves
we just
fill our
mind
that we
talk to
ourselves
rubbish
but we're
always talking
to ourselves
in Proverbs
talking to
yourself
is the
first sign
of wisdom
when you're
talking to
yourself
about God's
commands
the key
is to speak
wisdom
to ourselves
or as
Martin Lloyd
John
says it
the key
is to
preach
God's
word
to
ourselves
to our
own
hearts
verses 4
and 5
say to
wisdom
you are
my sister
and call
insight
your intimate
friend
and then
verse 5
that will
keep you
from the
forbidden
woman
from the
adulteress
with their
smooth
idols
fruits
or smooth
words
what will
keep you
from idols
of any
sort
valuing
and that's
the picture
of verse 4
valuing God's
wisdom
like you
would a
loving
sister
who's not
afraid
to look you
in the eye
and call you
out and say
you've been
an absolute
idiot
I've
thankfully
only got
one sister
for that
reason
three brothers
but only one
sister
and one
I think
is enough
for any
family
but I
can have
that discussion
with you
later
so
yeah
or at least
one of my
sisters
anyway
I'll just
stop
now
okay
value
wisdom
like a
loving
sister
value
wisdom
like a
close
friend
and again
a close
friend
is a
picture
of somebody
who will
actually speak
the truth
in love
to you
who will
call you
out
when you're
being an
idiot
who will
say look
you're not
thinking straight
you need to
say it like
this
second strategy
put a fire
awareness plan
in place
now
we're very
much in
tune with
fire awareness
plans
we all
the bushfires
last year
and the
devastation
of it
last week
in chapter
6
verse 27
Martin
talked about
the verse
can a man
carry fire
next to his
chest
and his
clothes
not be
burned
playing with
false intimacy
is like
playing with
fire
it's like
lighting a
fire in a
dry bushland
setting on a
hot windy
day
it's just
not going to
end well
it will get
out of control
and it will
consume you
and so
verses 1
and 2
and 4
the time
to prepare
for a
wildfire
is now
ahead of
time
when you're
calm
when you're
in control
of your
senses
when your
passions
are under
control
when you're
saying things
straight
when you can
actually read
God's word
and see the
implications
and feel the
import of it
that's the
time to put
your fire
plan in
place
not when
the fire
is licking
at your
door
not when
in this
situation
when you're
actually in
the embrace
of this
woman and
kissing her
passionately
that ain't no
time to try
and formulate
a plan
well what
should I
do now
hmm
keep your
inner landscape
fixed and
healthy
verse 25
again this
repeated thing
through Proverbs
let not
your heart
and that
includes your
attitudes
your thinking
and all those
sort of things
let not
your heart
turn aside
to her
way
do not
stray
do not
just
endlessly
wander
into her
path
because
you've not
maintained a
healthy inner
landscape
you've not
guarded your
attitudes and
your thinking
make the
Lord
cultivate a
healthy
heart
make the
Lord
the object
of your
desire
and source
of delight
don't
overestimate
your ability
to resist
temptation
don't
underestimate
the power
of sex
and seduction
you can't
play with it
without getting
burnt
don't
allow yourself
to wander
aimlessly
in life
but lastly
and this is a
bit of a
negative one
this is one
from Eeyore
if nothing
else works
use fear
as a
motivation
fear of
the carnage
verses 26
and 27
if nothing
else works
just try and
fill your mind
with a fear
of the carnage
that unfaithfulness
brings
it's not
the best
motivation
but it's
far better
than none
because fear
makes even
the most
self-reliant
self-confident
and that's
what this
young man
is here
as he's
depicted here
that's what
the foolish
man is
he's
self-reliant
he's
self-confident
he thinks
I'm in
control
I can
do this
I can
go to
this
point
and stop
safely
and enjoy
it up
to this
point
but not
get myself
into
danger
fear
makes
even the
most
self-confident
willful
people
more
cautious
and therefore
hopefully
more thoughtful
in their
life actions
life decisions
so friends
as always
and as always
as is always
the conclusion
in proverbs
experiencing
the slippery
slope of
foolishness
and destruction
or
staying on
the track
of true
intimacy
comes down
to a very
simple
factor
a very
simple
choice
and that
is
who
is your
standard
of beauty
of desirability
of delight
of love
of satisfaction
proverbs
and the
scripture
generally
tell us
that wisdom
equals
getting
Jesus
because
Jesus
is the
wisdom
and righteousness
of God
1 Corinthians
getting
Jesus
is to
get
true
intimacy
full
acceptance
with God
steadfast
love
eternal
love
total
validation
and that
all results
in expressing
wisdom
in our
life decisions
expressing
the mind
of Christ
in all
points
in all
facets
in all
categories
of life
including
our
sexuality
now at
first glance
wisdom
may not
look as
appealing
as the
picture
portrayed
in this
chapter
of a
woman who's
dressed to
kill
as we say
dressed
provocatively
and just
oozing
sex
and sexuality
that
seems to
grab our
attention
that looks
so appealing
but man
it's
poison
wisdom
may not
at first glance
look that
appealing
but it
delivers
it delivers
true intimacy
it delivers
the acceptance
value
and love
we crave
unfaithfulness
on the other
hand
or foolishness
is chasing
our own
form of
wisdom
and it's
settling
for the
false
intimacy
of idols
they promise
delight
but ultimately
deliver destruction
it may seem
more attractive
but it
embodies
everything
that is
against
how God's
people are
defined
and from
here I think
I'll finish
with this
from here I
think
we can see
our best
defense
against
temptation
to unfaithfulness
you see
when we think
of the Lord
Jesus
it was
our
unfaithfulness
at every
point in
life
which
forced the
father to
put him
on the
cross
and kill
him
it doesn't
get any
more
the carnage
doesn't get
any bigger
than that
does it
he
experienced
the
ultimate
carnage
of
unfaithfulness
he lost
everything
because of
our
unfaithfulness
he
suffered
everything
because of
our
unfaithfulness
he
he bore
the
brunt
of the
anger
of God
who is
our
aggrieved
lover
because we
betrayed him
in unfaithfulness
repeatedly
he bore
the shame
and the
judgment
of all
our
unfaithfulness
smeared
onto him
and quite
literally
he went
down to
the pit
of hell
because of
our
unfaithfulness
why
to free
us from
our sin
to set
us free
from a
lifetime
of
unfaithfulness
to set
us free
to
righteousness
so
the best
temptation
the best
motivation
to avoid
temptation
to unfaithfulness
I keep
saying to
myself
now
as of
a
temptation
to
eat
again
look
to
Jesus
for that
which
you're
craving
at the
moment
don't
think
food's
going to
give it
to you
and
remember
the
cost
the
carnage
that
Jesus
has
endured
because
of
your
previous
unfaithfulness
and
Calderwood
don't
trample
on his
costly
love
Lord
help me
never
to give
in to
the
temptation
to
unfaithfulness
let me
pray
Lord
unfaithfulness
just defines
our
response
to you
even
Lord
now
as
Christians
when we
have
the
reality
and the
joy
of knowing
we've
been
renewed
from the
inside
out
and that
we have
your
Holy
Spirit
specifically
given
to help
us
express
the
mind
of
Christ
even
then
Lord
we
find
ourselves
I
find
myself
just
going
back
to
the
old
promises
the
old
empty
promises
that
there
is
a
delight
and
a
satisfaction
in
things
or
places
other
than
you
Lord
forgive
us
Lord
forgive
me
and help
us
Lord
to
find
you
to
make
you
our
source
of
delight
and
satisfaction
and
joy
and to
make
you
the
standard
of
beauty
in
Jesus
name
I
pray
Amen