WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.000
 Okay, so we're going to look this evening at the themes that parents and children from Proverbs,

00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:13.000
 as I've said, it's a book that does almost exclusively in many ways deal with that,

00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:21.000
 and it reminds us and brings to mind the significance of at least four things when we think of families

00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:25.000
 and we think of parents and children. The first is wisdom, and that's very obvious, isn't it?

00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:32.000
 Proverbs, we've spoken about this again and again, Proverbs is the book of wisdom, God's wisdom for us

00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:37.000
 in giving us the parameters in life that allow us to make the decisions.

00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:47.000
 It doesn't give us black and white decisions on most things, but it speaks of the wisdom that we look for in our lives,

00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:51.000
 and therefore it's for all of us because we need the wisdom of God.

00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:58.000
 It is also hugely important for us as parents as we seek to impart wisdom to our children.

00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:02.000
 It's important for children, even as we grow up and become big children,

00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:07.000
 that we are constantly learning the wisdom of God in our lives.

00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:12.000
 So tonight I'm not really going to be giving many answers to children or parents,

00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:21.000
 but simply give some pointers towards King Jesus and the ethics of King Jesus,

00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:25.000
 the wisdom of his kingdom that comes through from Proverbs.

00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:32.000
 So it speaks about the importance of wisdom. It also highlights the importance of society.

00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:36.000
 Proverbs makes that clear that community is hugely significant

00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:41.000
 and it's speaking into people who will be living their lives in community.

00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:45.000
 That community that flows from the Trinity of God himself,

00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:53.000
 and therefore is reflected also within the church, the centrality of the church family

00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:56.000
 and the commitment to the church family,

00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:00.000
 and a recognition that the whole second table of the law,

00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:08.000
 the second half of the Ten Commandments is written into society,

00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:12.000
 written into how we act with one another, how we treat each other,

00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:19.000
 and that can be a powerful apologetic in the world in which we live.

00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:24.000
 So society is highlighted in being significant in Proverbs, as is family.

00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:27.000
 Family is very important in Proverbs,

00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:35.000
 and what we're reminded of in Proverbs is not only our nature, the way that we're born,

00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:41.000
 and the way that we're born into a broken and divided and dysfunctional world,

00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:48.000
 which is true, but also the reality of nurture and the importance of nurture.

00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:52.000
 We see in the world in which we live that brokenness,

00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:56.000
 but get it's brokenness, doesn't it? We recognize that.

00:02:56.000 --> 00:03:00.000
 We're always saying that, oh well, the world's getting what, you know,

00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:03.000
 they're getting what they sowed, they're reaping what they sowed,

00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:07.000
 and we recognize that, don't we, that brokenness begets brokenness.

00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:11.000
 But God's word also reminds us that grace begets grace,

00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:13.000
 and blessing begets blessing.

00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:19.000
 So, nurture and how we nurture our children is hugely significant,

00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:23.000
 because it has such a great influence on their lives,

00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.000
 and we recognize and we see that.

00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:30.000
 And family is such a crucial part of all of our lives,

00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:38.000
 because probably it is the part of life for many of us that harbours most regrets,

00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:46.000
 most joys, that paralyzes or influences us and others for good or for bad,

00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.000
 that exposes stability or instability in our lives,

00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:56.000
 and for us as Christians reflects our understanding of the fatherhood of God,

00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:01.000
 the gospel community, the nature of grace and our own hearts.

00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:06.000
 So family comes across very significantly and is significant in Proverbs.

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:11.000
 And the fourth thing that's significant, which feeds into this in Proverbs,

00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:15.000
 is the importance of forgiveness.

00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:19.000
 The importance of forgiveness in terms of the family.

00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:28.000
 And that's hugely important as we will go on and look at it.

00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.000
 The times we feel guilty for lazy parenting,

00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:35.000
 or for leaving obedience to Christ,

00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:40.000
 and our responsibility to serve Christ at the front door of our homes,

00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:42.000
 and not take it in.

00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.000
 Where often our true colours have been exposed,

00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:49.000
 and our hypocrisy are an indiscipline,

00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:54.000
 where we've let our kids run wild and do whatever they like,

00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:59.000
 where we have done things that are hugely regretful,

00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:04.000
 and where we've judged others and everyone else's parenting skills,

00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:07.000
 and sometimes when as children,

00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:11.000
 we have great guilt over how we treated our parents.

00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:14.000
 So forgiveness within the whole concept of Proverbs

00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:17.000
 and our understanding of what Proverbs is teaching,

00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.000
 I think is very important.

00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:30.000
 So I'm just going to speak briefly about three proverbial truths for parents,

00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:35.000
 and then mention some proverbial truths for children.

00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:40.000
 So what Proverbs is to say, not exclusively and not exhaustively, of course,

00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:45.000
 but one or two things that I think are important from Proverbs for parents and children.

00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:49.000
 So the first is for parents, and this really is broader than just for parents,

00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:51.000
 it would apply to us all.

00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:57.000
 The first thing in terms of our privileges and responsibility as parents this evening,

00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:00.000
 the first, what does Proverbs say?

00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.000
 Well, I would argue the three most important things that Proverbs says,

00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:09.000
 principally, for how we are to live our lives as parents with our children,

00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:15.000
 the first is for, guard your hearts, okay?

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:20.000
 From Proverbs 4, 23, keep your heart, and of course this applies to us all,

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:24.000
 with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life,

00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:27.000
 and then verse 20, verse 9,

00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:32.000
 who can say, I have made my heart pure, I am clean from my sin.

00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:36.000
 So there's this recognition in Proverbs that for parents,

00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:42.000
 the most important thing we can do for our children is to guard our own hearts.

00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:45.000
 And that goes for us all, doesn't it?

00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:51.000
 The wisdom of Proverbs, the first source of wisdom of Proverbs is respecting,

00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:55.000
 is worshiping, is fearing the Lord, is coming to our recognition

00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:59.000
 that no one is righteous, that we haven't kept our hearts pure,

00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:02.000
 and that we need to come to the Lord Jesus,

00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:08.000
 and we need to have our hearts cleansed, and we need to guard our hearts.

00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:14.000
 And we recognize that as of supreme importance in our parenting.

00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:18.000
 In other words, as a parent, the most important thing for you to do for your children

00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:21.000
 isn't to consider their material comfort,

00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:27.000
 isn't to give them a great home or splendid holidays, or a strong education,

00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:30.000
 which are all important things, of course,

00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:34.000
 but what is most important for you as a parent and for me is to,

00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:41.000
 your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ stands tall above all these things.

00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:45.000
 However significant these things might seem to us,

00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:49.000
 the way you live your life, the relationship you have with Jesus Christ

00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:53.000
 is by far the most important thing.

00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:58.000
 The fact that you are learning and praying and growing in relationship with Christ,

00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:02.000
 that you have the spiritual disciplines worked out,

00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:07.000
 I'm not saying that we always act on them all the time,

00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:11.000
 but that we have this routine of spiritual discipline

00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:17.000
 that our children know and see as significant in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:23.000
 And therefore as parents, it's vital that we take our relationship of grace

00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:26.000
 into how we parent.

00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:29.000
 We parent from our own heart's experience.

00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:33.000
 It's a bit similar to what we were talking about this morning with Barnabas,

00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:37.000
 that he knew his own heart, therefore he was a son of encouragement.

00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:40.000
 And as parents when we know our own hearts,

00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:46.000
 therefore that is the foundation of being patient,

00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:50.000
 being sacrificial, understanding priorities,

00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:58.000
 unconditional love, being controlled and gracious in our discipline and in our lives.

00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:02.000
 So it all stems from our heart relationship with God.

00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:06.000
 There's no greater parent than the parent who understands that

00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:10.000
 and who practices it in his or her life.

00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:13.000
 Guard your heart, that would be what I say essentially.

00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:18.000
 The second thing following from that is watch therefore your life.

00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:21.000
 Guard your heart, your relationship with Jesus,

00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:22.000
 and then watch your life.

00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.000
 Proverbs 20 verse 7,

00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:27.000
 the righteous who walks in his integrity,

00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:30.000
 blessed are his children after him.

00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:34.000
 And 31, 28, speaking about the noble wife,

00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:38.000
 her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, he praises her.

00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:43.000
 So both of these verses speak about the blessedness of the husband

00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:51.000
 or the wife, the father or mother, and the blessing that follows

00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:55.000
 because of the life that they have led.

00:09:55.000 --> 00:10:00.000
 The emphasis being on a blessing that follows good example.

00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.000
 We need as parents and as believers generally

00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.000
 to be consistent in our godliness.

00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:10.000
 Now that, if you're a parent here,

00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:17.000
 you know your godliness or not will be exposed in the family home.

00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:20.000
 That's what it will be noticed most.

00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:26.000
 Children will see quicker than anyone else, hypocrisy or double standards.

00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:31.000
 They'll see when you let your guard down in private

00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:36.000
 and you act differently with or speak differently about people in private

00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:41.000
 as you do in public with others or with these individuals.

00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:45.000
 They'll understand the purity of your language

00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:48.000
 or otherwise behind closed doors.

00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:53.000
 They will know and grasp quickly how important Jesus is to you

00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:56.000
 and how important obedience is to you.

00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:00.000
 They will quickly grasp the difference between humility and pride

00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.000
 and between those who have control of their emotions

00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:08.000
 and those who lash out in anger and in rage.

00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:14.000
 And most importantly, the way you deal with mistakes and failure,

00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:20.000
 that will transform a parental child relationship.

00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:23.000
 That you're willing to acknowledge mistakes,

00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:26.000
 you're willing to be forgiven and ask for forgiveness

00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:33.000
 and give forgiveness the walk of life that you have,

00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:37.000
 your use of time, your use of leisure and pleasure,

00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:43.000
 the way you spend your private life with your children,

00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:47.000
 they will see and know and understand Christ in that.

00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:53.000
 As you express your love to them and your commitment to them,

00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.000
 as you share with them your priorities,

00:11:56.000 --> 00:12:04.000
 these are all important marks that we need to watch for as Christian parents.

00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:10.000
 Children are the sharpest mimics and learners

00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:17.000
 and they will learn our bad habits just as quickly as they learn our good ones.

00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:22.000
 And they will share our bad temper and they will share our judgmental spirit

00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:27.000
 and they will share our miserliness and they will share many of the things

00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:33.000
 if we allow ourselves to live inconsistently.

00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:42.000
 So watch our hearts, watch our lives and then thirdly, teach what you live.

00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:47.000
 So parents have this great, Proverbs 1 verses 7 and 8 speak about that.

00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:49.000
 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.000
 those despise wisdom and instruction.

00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:57.000
 Hear my son, your father's instruction for Satan, not your mother's teaching.

00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:03.000
 So kind of following on from the life we live and the relationship we have with Christ,

00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:08.000
 we are teachers, we are educators in their lives.

00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:14.000
 Now I would argue here that in St. Columba's all of you are educators of the children.

00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:18.000
 You may not want this but you are all locus parentis

00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.000
 of the children in this church.

00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:25.000
 You all have a role to play in teaching and we have to educate.

00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:31.000
 We are teachers of our children and we have the incredible influence

00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:34.000
 of teaching them the commands of God.

00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:38.000
 Now how I would say that differently, the laws of love.

00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:43.000
 We are teaching them to love God and to love one another.

00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:47.000
 The only place we can do that is at the foot of the cross.

00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.000
 Teach them just morality.

00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:51.000
 Don't just teach them the Ten Commandments.

00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:54.000
 Remember the Ten Commandments are given to the people of God

00:13:54.000 --> 00:14:00.000
 in relationship with God because He had already redeemed them.

00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:06.000
 And it's easy to develop knowledge within our children,

00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:11.000
 even biblical knowledge, but we are teaching them to relate to a person.

00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:15.000
 The person that they must come to for salvation.

00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:20.000
 We need to know that they are sinners that will come to Jesus Christ for salvation.

00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:25.000
 And the foot of the cross will be the best place that we can teach them.

00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:30.000
 And if they find that identity in Christ, they will find their freedom

00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:37.000
 and individuality and belonging and security and adventure and ambition.

00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.000
 So we need to know the Bible.

00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:45.000
 Know its stories. We are starting at the end of August.

00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:49.000
 A series in the morning worship of the great Bible stories.

00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:51.000
 It's going to take us right up to Christmas.

00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:57.000
 I think sometimes we've stopped preaching or talking about the great Bible stories.

00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:00.000
 Maybe we are not teaching our children that very much either.

00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.000
 But teach them the great Bible stories.

00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:04.000
 Teach them the ethics of God's word,

00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:09.000
 but teach them in the context of grace and relationship.

00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.000
 Teach them in a way that we are open with our hearts and honest

00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:19.000
 and confess our own need for forgiveness and the boundaries and the vistas of grace.

00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.000
 And it takes time.

00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:24.000
 It takes energy and it takes effort.

00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:29.000
 And it takes intentionality to do that with our children.

00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.000
 Now the Proverbs are full of God's wisdom.

00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:38.000
 It has lots to say about children and about teaching children about obedience,

00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:41.000
 about loving others, about guarding our minds,

00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:44.000
 about watching, about listening, about selecting friends,

00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:47.000
 about self-control, about watching how we speak,

00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:51.000
 about how we use our money, how we use our resources.

00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:55.000
 It speaks about hard work, it speaks about laziness, it speaks about marriage,

00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:57.000
 the kind of people you should marry.

00:15:57.000 --> 00:16:00.000
 It gives lots of different advice from God's word.

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.000
 And why they are beyond Proverbs.

00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:07.000
 There's all kinds of things that are principally taught in Scripture

00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:12.000
 about sex and about imaging, about ambition and about drink and about drugs.

00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:19.000
 And we need to equip our children to understand the power of God's living word

00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:22.000
 that applies into all of their lives.

00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:25.000
 So we need to teach them that.

00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:32.000
 But we also need to, the dirty word, we need to discipline them.

00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:37.000
 Proverbs 22 verse 6,

00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:41.000
 train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old,

00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:46.000
 he will not depart from it, or 29, 17.

00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:51.000
 Discipline your son and he will give you rest, he will give delight to your heart.

00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:57.000
 Important role for children that we warn them, we correct them, we rebuke them,

00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:05.000
 we do so in a prayerful, controlled, wise, loving, but firm way.

00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:08.000
 And when we lose the heed, we ask for forgiveness.

00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:15.000
 And we make sure that we are careful to learn the significance of being in control of our own lives.

00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.000
 You need to know, children need to know, and they love to know what's right and wrong.

00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:22.000
 They know and love to know parameters.

00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:26.000
 They want to know what's acceptable and what's not acceptable.

00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:33.000
 And it's vital that we discipline our children and we tell them what's right and wrong,

00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:42.000
 because we believe in truth and we believe in God's word and we believe in God's parameters.

00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:50.000
 There's nothing worse, is there, than thankless, rude, uncontrolled, spoiled kids.

00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:52.000
 Nobody wants them.

00:17:52.000 --> 00:18:00.000
 Nobody wants to see children growing up that way, because we recognize their responsibility to teach them.

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:06.000
 And as we teach them, it reminds us of the importance of prayer.

00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:14.000
 That we need prayer because we want to set parameters for our children, not walls, principles, not prisons.

00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:19.000
 That we want to equip them. It's the hardest thing to do and we don't have any training for it.

00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:26.000
 But we want to equip them to what we are doing, what we do, we're equipping them towards independence and maturity.

00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:30.000
 Isn't that the hardest thing for the people you love most in the world?

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:38.000
 You want them to become strong enough to fly free and safe on the currents of grace.

00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:41.000
 That's what you want for your children.

00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:47.000
 You want to entrust them to the Heavenly Father in towards independence, which is what we're called to do.

00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:52.000
 We're not called to smother them. We're not called to keep them by our side.

00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:59.000
 To flick them out of the nest. To let them swim. We're let them fly. Let them grow. Let them go.

00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:01.000
 That's what we're encouraged to do.

00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:11.000
 And as we pray, praying for forgiveness that will not be paralyzed by regret, but that we will be able to prioritize love.

00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:19.000
 So, one or two things. And very briefly, some proverbial truth for children.

00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:23.000
 And there are some children here, so no sleeping at this point.

00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:30.000
 You've got to listen well. I'm going to come at the end of the service and check that you've listened to what Proverbs says for children.

00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:36.000
 Love your parents. That's what you're asked to do. You're asked to love your parents.

00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:41.000
 Proverbs 3 verse 3, I think it says that. I'm not sure if I asked. Yeah.

00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:44.000
 Let not steadfast loving and faithfulness forsake you.

00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:47.000
 Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart.

00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:51.000
 Right, your parents, I know, they're boring. They stop your fun.

00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.000
 They make you do your homework. They're grumpy.

00:19:54.000 --> 00:20:00.000
 They take social media off you when you're just most wanting to speak to your friend.

00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.000
 They make you do exercise when you don't want to and eat green beans, which is desperate.

00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:10.000
 They make you go to bed when you want to stay up. They're unreasonable.

00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.000
 They don't understand you. They're unfair. They're old and ancient.

00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:22.000
 But love them because they would die for you.

00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:26.000
 They would die for you. Love them.

00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:32.000
 And love Jesus because he did die for you. And remember that.

00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:37.000
 So love your parents and listen to them. Listen to your parents.

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:40.000
 One verse 8, I think we've maybe done that before.

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.000
 Hear my son, your father's instruction, forsake not your mother's teaching and his son and daughter.

00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:50.000
 It goes for all children here, of course. Listen to them because they're older than you.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:52.000
 You know that. They're much older than you.

00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:59.000
 But they've been there and they've made the kind of mistakes that they want to keep you from making.

00:20:59.000 --> 00:21:04.000
 So just listen to them and what they have to say.

00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:10.000
 Then, this is much harder. You've got to respect them and obey them.

00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:19.000
 Proverbs 6, 20, my son, my daughter, keep your father's commandant, forsake not your mother's teaching.

00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:28.000
 There, your God's given them to you and you're to obey them as children.

00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:34.000
 They'll shepherd you. They'll love you. They'll protect you and they'll guide you.

00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:40.000
 Do what they ask and not after they have to ask you 45 times.

00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:49.000
 Do it maybe the first time they ask you and do it willingly and even sometimes with a smile.

00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:57.000
 Dishes, bed, tidy up your room, do your homework, all the things that you don't want.

00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:01.000
 They do it because they want you to learn and grow and understand.

00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:07.000
 And when you struggle with that, ask Jesus to help you.

00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:15.000
 Just pray to Him and ask Him to help you to do what your mums and dad want you to do.

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:24.000
 And I speak to some of the grown-up kids here who maybe have older parents who they no longer live with.

00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:29.000
 Proverbs 23, verse 22, listen to your father who gave you life.

00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:32.000
 Do not despise your mother when she is old.

00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:40.000
 So, remember older young children, it's payback time.

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:51.000
 It's time for you to give back all the years of sacrifice and commitment and love and blood and sweat and tears for your children, for your parents.

00:22:51.000 --> 00:23:05.000
 And remember sometimes, interestingly, if they, for example, suffer from dementia, they will return to being like children in their behaviour.

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:12.000
 And you'll need a renewed patience and you will see the kind of hassle you cause them.

00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.000
 And you'll be asked to be patient.

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:26.000
 I'm really disappointed, none of my kids are here, so I can get them to, you know, feel a sense of spiritual guilt and look after me when I become demented.

00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:33.000
 But take time with them, love them, care for them, remember who they are.

00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:46.000
 And as a church, we should remember people who are looking after parents, particularly those who have a great burden to do so.

00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:48.000
 And we should support and love and pray for them.

00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:55.000
 So very briefly, for Saint See's, remember to support parents in the church.

00:23:55.000 --> 00:24:06.000
 We need to do that in our preaching and our teaching, we need to encourage families and marriage, the longings, the fears, the insecurities, the false expectations.

00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:10.000
 We need to speak to one another about these things, it can't all be done from the pulpit.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:15.000
 But in the same context, we need to value singleness within the church, in and of itself.

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:23.000
 You're single, you're not second best, you're not just there to support the nuclear families in the church, you're not there just to be babysitters.

00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:27.000
 You have your own gifts, your own battles, your own needs, your own opportunities.

00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:34.000
 But we are all part of a family together and we need to remember to support and pray for one another.

00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:36.000
 Support the children in the church.

00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:43.000
 I'm really keen to develop that, it seems strange maybe after 16 years, but things develop within the church.

00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:51.000
 We have so many children, develop links with parents, links with kids' church, involve them more in the service.

00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:59.000
 We invite them to come more in the evening, have tables at the back and have worksheets for them so that they get used to being under the word.

00:24:59.000 --> 00:25:10.000
 There's lots of things we can do, maybe have a buddy systems for our baptised children so that one or two people are always praying for one or two of the children in the church beyond their families.

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:23.000
 And may we seek to encourage that family spirit within the congregation in all that we do, which we've sought to do, the importance of rising up in godliness together.

00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:36.000
 And recognising the mission of the church, which is into a broken world with many broken homes and great dysfunction, and some of that within the Christian community.

00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:51.000
 And as we reach out, we recognise all kinds of alternative families, that there are alternative models that are in many cases reaping a whirlwind and a harvest of chaos.

00:25:51.000 --> 00:26:00.000
 But may we love and seek the healing of the gospel into these situations, which will take time and commitment and love.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:05.000
 And may God's grace be with us as we do so.

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:11.000
 I mean, I'm going to close with a prayer, which is also a song, which I'm not going to sing, you'll be pleased to know.

00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:20.000
 But it's called a mother's prayer, and it is a beautiful prayer to make, particularly for our children.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:28.000
 So let's bow our heads and pray.

00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:41.000
 Before you close your eyes to sleep, I have a promise still to keep.

00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:50.000
 As I hold you in my arms, I pray your little frame grows strong and faith take hold while you are young.

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:55.000
 This is my prayer for you.

00:26:55.000 --> 00:27:01.000
 Hold my hand, I'll teach you the way to go through the joys and through the tears, the journey of these years.

00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:04.000
 May you trust him till the end.

00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:11.000
 The world is not as it should be, but the Savior opens eyes to see all that's beautiful and true.

00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:17.000
 Oh, may his light fill all you are and the jewel of wisdom crown your heart.

00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:20.000
 This is my prayer for you.

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:27.000
 You'll travel where my arms won't reach as the road will rise and lead your feet on a journey of your own.

00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:37.000
 May my mistakes not hinder you, but his grace remain and guide you through.

00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:41.000
 This is my prayer for you.

00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:48.000
 Take his hand and go where he calls you, and whatever comes, seek him with all your heart.

00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:50.000
 This will be my prayer for you.

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.000
 Father, hear my ceaseless prayer.

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:58.000
 O keep them in your care.

00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:22.000
 Amen.