WEBVTT 00:00:00.300 --> 00:00:08.199 Good morning. Good morning. My name is Chris. I'm one of the pastors here at Watermark. 00:00:08.259 --> 00:00:13.339 It's just really exciting to be here with you. I have a white shirt because it's the 00:00:13.339 --> 00:00:21.080 World Cup and England are going to be playing soon. So I will probably not wear it afterwards 00:00:21.080 --> 00:00:25.480 because I'll be too embarrassed. But at least before the World Cup, I can wear it with pride. 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:36.399 Let me pray for us before we start. Father, just thank you. Thank you that your word is living 00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:44.280 and active and powerful. Thank you that you want to speak to us. I pray, Lord, that you would take 00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:52.079 my feeble words and you would fill them with your power and your spirit so that you would just touch 00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:57.579 our hearts. Would we have hearts that want to hear from you, that don't just want to listen and turn 00:00:57.579 --> 00:01:03.920 away, but want to hear what you say and do what you call us to? I pray this in your name. Amen. 00:01:05.379 --> 00:01:15.340 Just lower this slightly. Great. One of the amazing things about being a pastor in the church is I get 00:01:15.340 --> 00:01:22.359 to do premarital counseling with some couples who are just so excited about spending the rest of their 00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:28.659 lives together. And then I get to spend time with couples who've been married for a number of years 00:01:28.659 --> 00:01:35.939 and they're sometimes saying, I don't know quite why I ever married this person. And then I get times 00:01:35.939 --> 00:01:41.879 to spend with people who are just ecstatic about they've just landed their dream job. They're leaving 00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:47.879 one job. They're just coming to their new job. And then I see them a few months later and they're 00:01:47.879 --> 00:01:54.539 six months in and they're like, I wish I'd never changed from my previous job. And it doesn't matter 00:01:54.539 --> 00:02:05.120 where you are in life. Work, family, relationships matter to us. They're significant. But even in the best 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:12.400 of these things, the best relationships, there's always something that's missing. There's something 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:20.599 that we were made for, which is more than what these things offer us. And today we're continuing 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:27.000 in our series in Colossians and we're going to see that Paul says, don't look to your marriage or to 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:34.580 family or to work to be what only Christ can be for you. Okay, that's where we're going. Don't look to 00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:40.640 these things to be anything that only Christ can be for you. And so what we've looked at so far, 00:02:40.660 --> 00:02:45.680 and I hope you have your passage open with you because we'll just kind of go through a little 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:51.040 bit together. We've looked in Colossians and Paul has said, when you become a Christian, 00:02:51.560 --> 00:02:59.080 you don't just get a kind of get out of jail free card. It's you actually gain Christ. You become 00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:06.780 united like in a marriage relationship with God, the creator of the universe himself. And Jesus' story 00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:13.620 of his death and resurrection becomes your story. So your old life where you used to live for yourself, 00:03:13.820 --> 00:03:19.160 a slave to your own desires, like a prisoner of war, as Kevin preached a couple of weeks ago, 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:25.600 that's died when Christ died. And you now have, when Jesus was raised from the dead, you have a new 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:33.840 life. Your life is hidden in him and you're liberated to live for him. And so we saw last 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:41.219 week how this new identity in Jesus, it changes everything, even within the church. We saw outside 00:03:41.219 --> 00:03:47.459 people are valued according to their race, socioeconomic status, if they've double eyelids or 00:03:47.459 --> 00:03:54.479 drive a Maserati. But inside the church, your value comes from your identity as a child of God, 00:03:54.479 --> 00:04:01.859 regardless of any of those other things. That's why Paul says, there's no Greek, Jew, circumcised, 00:04:01.939 --> 00:04:07.219 uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free. In Christ, you now have value. 00:04:08.959 --> 00:04:18.719 But today, what Paul is going to say is what you truly believe is not just seen on Sunday, 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:25.680 where we kind of sing nice songs together and we say, yeah, Jesus, we love you. But then if you want 00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:33.440 to see how the gospel is working in your life, go through the keyhole into your home. Go into the 00:04:33.440 --> 00:04:39.560 workplace because the gospel is not just for Sunday. The gospel is to come not just into your living room, 00:04:39.640 --> 00:04:44.080 it's to come into your kitchen, into your bedroom, into your office. The gospel is to shape everything. 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:51.639 Okay. So that's what we're going to look at today. And I want to say just a couple of things before we 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:57.079 dive into this passage, because there's a few things in this passage which we as 21st century 00:04:57.079 --> 00:05:05.680 people have got to get through to really understand what Paul is saying. So this part of the passage 00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:10.839 that we're looking at is what's called a household code. And that was very common in those days. It's a 00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:15.599 form of writing where people often used to say, okay, this is how you guys should deal with 00:05:15.599 --> 00:05:21.139 relationships in marriage, family, and work. And actually, all of these things in their culture 00:05:21.139 --> 00:05:26.299 would take place in the home. Slightly different for us, but it would all be in the home. So writers 00:05:26.299 --> 00:05:31.599 came up with things that they thought would keep order for how to make sure things didn't get out of 00:05:31.599 --> 00:05:37.699 control. And so you have things which in our culture we struggle with. You have things like 00:05:37.699 --> 00:05:42.139 submission of wives. You've got slavery. And we look at these kind of things and we go, 00:05:42.719 --> 00:05:48.459 ooh, that's a bit backward and repressive. But the thing is, when Paul was writing, 00:05:49.420 --> 00:05:54.500 people would have heard what Paul was writing and said, oh, what you're writing is a little bit 00:05:54.500 --> 00:06:01.759 offensive, but not for the reasons that we think it's offensive, for other things. So we mentioned 00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:09.899 last week, Josephus, a Jewish historian, he says, the woman, says the law, is in all things inferior to 00:06:09.899 --> 00:06:16.079 the man. Let her accordingly be submissive. That's what first century people around thought. 00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:22.759 Another guy called Plutarch in the first century, he said, a virtuous woman ought to be most visible 00:06:22.759 --> 00:06:28.860 in her husband's company and to stay in the house and hide herself when he's away. 00:06:28.860 --> 00:06:36.300 That's what people were teaching at those times. In other words, for them, submission meant a woman 00:06:36.300 --> 00:06:43.100 is inferior, her identity and value only comes from her husband. And actually, when most of us hear 00:06:43.100 --> 00:06:49.300 that, that's often historically what people have meant by submission. And then with slaves, 00:06:49.980 --> 00:06:56.240 Aristotle, who really influenced first century, he said a slave is a living tool and some people are 00:06:56.240 --> 00:07:04.519 just born to be slaves. It's the same idea. Your worth and your value is found in your position in 00:07:04.519 --> 00:07:12.480 society. You're inferior. And Paul, as we've said, has said, no, no, no, no, no. That is not where your 00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:18.900 value is found. Your value is found in Christ. You know, and from what I've just shared before about 00:07:18.899 --> 00:07:24.560 what he says, there's no slave or free. In Galatians 3, 28, he also says in Jesus, there's no male or 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:30.639 female. There's no inferiority or superiority. In fact, if in the church you start doing that, you've 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:36.899 missed what Christ is all about. No one has any right to look down on anyone else. And in the first 00:07:36.899 --> 00:07:43.959 century culture, that would have been radical. But then you've got to ask, well, why does Paul 00:07:43.959 --> 00:07:50.919 still call wives to submit and slaves still to obey? Is he affirming these institutions? 00:07:52.459 --> 00:07:58.539 So let's just start with slavery. Because many people think, how can the Bible justify slavery? 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:04.899 And they look at these kind of passages. And what we've got to understand is, Paul is speaking to 00:08:04.899 --> 00:08:10.620 people in this church who are slaves, many of them. And do you know how you became a slave? 00:08:10.620 --> 00:08:17.639 Many of the times, you were actually kidnapped by pirates, or you were a prisoner of war, or your 00:08:17.639 --> 00:08:24.959 family had been so poor that they'd had to sell you into slavery. And some slaves were actually highly 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:32.779 educated. Some even attained some top jobs. Some even owned their own slaves. But the point was this, 00:08:32.820 --> 00:08:39.220 that if you were a slave, if you started a revolution to kind of rise up against slavery, 00:08:39.220 --> 00:08:44.460 slavery, you would almost certainly, and we know from the first century people tried to do it, 00:08:44.519 --> 00:08:47.899 you would be killed, or you'd be thrown out on the street with no support. 00:08:49.220 --> 00:08:54.200 Basically, Paul, when he's writing to slaves, he's not trying to overturn the institution of slavery, 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:58.420 because what he's trying to do, he's facing the reality of where these Christians were. 00:08:58.820 --> 00:09:03.660 And he's saying, the gospel is to reshape you where you are. 00:09:03.659 --> 00:09:08.980 Now, in 1 Corinthians 7, he actually says, if you can get free, get free. 00:09:09.899 --> 00:09:15.779 But if you can't, many of you are so trapped in these situations, here's how the gospel is going to reshape you. 00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:21.839 So that's the context of the slavery, context of marriage and family. 00:09:22.539 --> 00:09:28.459 And here is a biblical context, where in verse 9 and 10, which we didn't read today, 00:09:28.460 --> 00:09:33.080 Paul talks about us being renewed in the image of our creator. 00:09:34.379 --> 00:09:37.280 And the Bible story has this narrative where it says, 00:09:37.420 --> 00:09:43.000 God has set up certain institutions of government and of marriage and of parenting, 00:09:43.139 --> 00:09:44.940 and there is to be order in those. 00:09:45.400 --> 00:09:49.360 Just as it reflects order within the way that God himself works. 00:09:50.379 --> 00:09:53.879 Because God is both equal and a Trinitarian God, 00:09:53.920 --> 00:09:56.940 the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but there's diversity of roles. 00:09:56.940 --> 00:10:01.980 And so, what you see is, when you see Jesus, 00:10:02.420 --> 00:10:06.640 because as Christians, Jesus shapes who we're being made into. 00:10:07.180 --> 00:10:11.200 He is both equal to the Father, but when he goes into the Garden of Gethsemane, 00:10:11.420 --> 00:10:12.240 do you know what he says? 00:10:12.580 --> 00:10:16.020 He says, it's not my will, but yours be done. 00:10:16.560 --> 00:10:19.300 He submits to his Father, though he's equal to him. 00:10:20.140 --> 00:10:22.320 He's not repressed, he's not inferior, 00:10:22.560 --> 00:10:25.260 but he's offering a gift of love to honor his Father. 00:10:26.940 --> 00:10:29.720 And in Ephesians 5, Paul then says, 00:10:29.880 --> 00:10:32.140 just as Jesus submits to his Father, 00:10:32.540 --> 00:10:37.740 he also leads the church by laying down his life sacrificially for her, 00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:39.120 to love her. 00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:41.280 And Paul says, in marriage, 00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:45.220 God has set up the same way to reflect 00:10:45.220 --> 00:10:48.180 how Jesus and the Trinity work together. 00:10:48.179 --> 00:10:50.739 So, the husband is called to lead, 00:10:50.859 --> 00:10:51.719 as Jesus does, 00:10:51.899 --> 00:10:53.339 laying down his life for her, 00:10:53.699 --> 00:10:55.039 serving her for her good, 00:10:55.099 --> 00:10:56.139 not for his interest. 00:10:56.819 --> 00:10:58.059 Wives are called to submit, 00:10:58.179 --> 00:10:59.799 not as repressed or inferior, 00:11:00.319 --> 00:11:03.039 but as a voluntary gift of love to your husband. 00:11:04.179 --> 00:11:06.819 The wife is called to put his will before hers, 00:11:06.899 --> 00:11:09.979 the husband is called to put her interest before his. 00:11:10.620 --> 00:11:11.819 Because that's what images, 00:11:12.740 --> 00:11:16.059 Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit working together. 00:11:16.059 --> 00:11:20.119 So, we've got to kind of get through some of that. 00:11:20.199 --> 00:11:21.779 That's what Paul's talking about. 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:26.179 But let's kind of come and get into the text a little bit more. 00:11:26.979 --> 00:11:29.000 Because it doesn't matter if you're single, 00:11:29.619 --> 00:11:30.419 or if you're married, 00:11:30.500 --> 00:11:31.239 if you're a parent, 00:11:31.500 --> 00:11:33.859 or if you're a worker in the marketplace, 00:11:34.939 --> 00:11:36.879 there's principles here that Paul's going to say 00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:38.519 they apply to every single one of you, 00:11:38.599 --> 00:11:39.279 wherever you're up to. 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:42.279 But we're going to spend more time focusing on marriage 00:11:42.279 --> 00:11:43.879 and on parenting 00:11:43.879 --> 00:11:46.659 with just a short time at the end on work. 00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:47.299 Okay? 00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:48.220 You with us so far? 00:11:49.799 --> 00:11:50.319 Good. 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:51.199 Oscar is. 00:11:53.319 --> 00:11:53.839 Okay. 00:11:54.699 --> 00:11:54.959 So, 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.139 G.K. Chesterton, 00:11:58.819 --> 00:12:00.199 he's a fun guy, 00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:01.699 he once said, 00:12:02.019 --> 00:12:03.299 marriage is an adventure 00:12:03.299 --> 00:12:05.139 like going to war. 00:12:05.139 --> 00:12:08.500 And he's right. 00:12:09.659 --> 00:12:10.919 Marriage is war. 00:12:11.819 --> 00:12:13.279 Family is war. 00:12:13.699 --> 00:12:15.340 The workplace is war. 00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:18.779 But the enemy is not supposed to be the other person. 00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.379 Did you get that? 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:21.779 You see, 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:23.139 what often happens is 00:12:23.139 --> 00:12:25.039 all of these things do become war. 00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:27.840 But the way that we work is 00:12:27.840 --> 00:12:28.899 we want control. 00:12:29.220 --> 00:12:31.039 We want our desires to be met. 00:12:31.299 --> 00:12:32.659 We want our way. 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:33.559 And when we don't get it, 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:36.859 we go into verbal or mental, 00:12:37.019 --> 00:12:38.439 like passive-aggressive 00:12:38.439 --> 00:12:40.079 kind of war with each other. 00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:42.559 But Paul is going to say 00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:43.959 with all of these relationships, 00:12:44.799 --> 00:12:46.039 in these areas, 00:12:46.419 --> 00:12:47.839 these are arenas 00:12:47.839 --> 00:12:49.379 where God supplies them 00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:51.599 not primarily to make yourself happy, 00:12:51.699 --> 00:12:52.899 to get what you want 00:12:52.899 --> 00:12:55.379 and be fulfilled in a self-centered way. 00:12:55.639 --> 00:12:57.479 It's provide you with opportunities 00:12:57.479 --> 00:12:58.739 to put to death 00:12:58.739 --> 00:13:00.399 the areas of your life 00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:01.779 where you're still living for yourself. 00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:03.079 Did you get that? 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:05.839 And it's not just to provide you 00:13:05.839 --> 00:13:06.339 with opportunities 00:13:06.339 --> 00:13:07.659 to put yourself to death. 00:13:07.699 --> 00:13:08.879 It's also to provide you 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:09.679 with opportunities, 00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:11.359 like he's talked about in the passage, 00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:13.059 to grow in compassion, 00:13:13.439 --> 00:13:14.659 to grow in patience, 00:13:14.939 --> 00:13:16.099 to grow in meekness, 00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:18.139 to grow in humility and forgiveness 00:13:18.139 --> 00:13:19.939 in every area of your life. 00:13:20.419 --> 00:13:22.019 That's what your work is about. 00:13:22.379 --> 00:13:24.019 That's what your family is about. 00:13:24.339 --> 00:13:25.919 That's what your marriage is about. 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:30.500 So here's how the gospel shapes us 00:13:30.500 --> 00:13:31.399 in these things. 00:13:33.799 --> 00:13:35.979 The gospel shapes us 00:13:35.979 --> 00:13:37.699 because it turns us 00:13:37.699 --> 00:13:39.519 from ourself to others. 00:13:41.199 --> 00:13:42.199 Verse 18. 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:43.160 Wives, 00:13:43.680 --> 00:13:44.740 submit to your husbands 00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:46.500 as is fitting in the Lord. 00:13:47.180 --> 00:13:47.660 Husbands, 00:13:47.879 --> 00:13:49.040 love your wives 00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:50.840 and don't be harsh with them. 00:13:52.040 --> 00:13:53.180 Paul is saying, 00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:54.960 since you've died with Christ, 00:13:55.060 --> 00:13:56.540 you're no longer a prisoner to yourself. 00:13:56.540 --> 00:13:58.720 Your orientation of your marriage 00:13:58.720 --> 00:13:59.640 is going to shift 00:13:59.640 --> 00:14:00.720 from you 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:01.940 to the other person. 00:14:02.940 --> 00:14:04.200 So the wife, 00:14:04.520 --> 00:14:05.180 as I've said, 00:14:05.280 --> 00:14:06.880 puts his will before hers. 00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:08.860 Husband puts her interest 00:14:08.860 --> 00:14:09.560 before his 00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:10.940 and they're flourishing 00:14:10.940 --> 00:14:12.160 in together 00:14:12.160 --> 00:14:13.740 in a lifelong process 00:14:13.740 --> 00:14:14.760 of growing more and more 00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:15.420 like Jesus, 00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:16.800 glorifying him 00:14:16.800 --> 00:14:17.640 in your relationship. 00:14:18.500 --> 00:14:19.300 So for the husband, 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:20.280 it looks like this. 00:14:20.620 --> 00:14:21.540 Love your wives. 00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:22.740 Do you know, 00:14:22.920 --> 00:14:24.760 love is not a passive action. 00:14:25.860 --> 00:14:27.040 It's not active. 00:14:27.420 --> 00:14:28.580 Active love, 00:14:28.680 --> 00:14:30.000 because love is always active, 00:14:30.400 --> 00:14:31.900 is not sitting on the sofa 00:14:31.899 --> 00:14:33.240 just thinking about work. 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:35.439 Active love is not meditating 00:14:35.439 --> 00:14:36.100 on all the things 00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:37.439 that are wrong on your spouse. 00:14:38.340 --> 00:14:39.379 Active love 00:14:39.379 --> 00:14:40.879 is initiating, 00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:41.919 thinking of, 00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:43.659 and proactively doing 00:14:43.659 --> 00:14:44.360 what will enable 00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:45.759 the other person to flourish. 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:48.039 And to do that, 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:49.159 you have to get to know them. 00:14:49.659 --> 00:14:49.959 Right? 00:14:50.259 --> 00:14:51.620 You have to spend time with them. 00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:52.799 You have to listen to them. 00:14:53.539 --> 00:14:55.319 Because I've read books 00:14:55.319 --> 00:14:55.939 which tell me 00:14:55.939 --> 00:14:56.960 how to love my wife 00:14:56.960 --> 00:14:57.779 and they say things like 00:14:57.779 --> 00:14:58.860 take her out for meals 00:14:58.860 --> 00:15:00.379 and buy her flowers. 00:15:00.379 --> 00:15:02.139 But my wife 00:15:02.139 --> 00:15:03.460 is not that into 00:15:03.460 --> 00:15:04.740 just always going out for meals. 00:15:04.820 --> 00:15:05.779 She likes to eat at home. 00:15:06.279 --> 00:15:06.639 And actually, 00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:08.240 she's not really into flowers either. 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:09.799 So, 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:12.580 to lovingly lead her 00:15:12.580 --> 00:15:13.559 as God calls me to, 00:15:13.639 --> 00:15:14.700 I've got to spend time 00:15:14.700 --> 00:15:15.580 getting to know her. 00:15:16.580 --> 00:15:17.120 So that's why 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:18.019 you can't just take 00:15:18.019 --> 00:15:18.600 a principle 00:15:18.600 --> 00:15:20.240 from whatever anyone says 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:21.460 and just slap it 00:15:21.460 --> 00:15:22.419 on your own marriage. 00:15:22.620 --> 00:15:23.620 You've got to know each other. 00:15:23.700 --> 00:15:24.340 It's relationship. 00:15:24.340 --> 00:15:24.580 relationship. 00:15:26.580 --> 00:15:26.940 But, 00:15:27.100 --> 00:15:27.920 you know in Genesis, 00:15:28.700 --> 00:15:30.340 God calls Adam 00:15:30.340 --> 00:15:31.899 to be the leader 00:15:31.899 --> 00:15:32.560 in the relationship 00:15:32.560 --> 00:15:33.639 and he gives a command 00:15:33.639 --> 00:15:34.060 to Adam. 00:15:34.160 --> 00:15:34.480 He says, 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:36.120 don't eat from the tree 00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:37.100 of knowledge of good and evil 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:37.879 or you'll die. 00:15:39.899 --> 00:15:40.320 Okay? 00:15:40.379 --> 00:15:41.019 It's pretty clear. 00:15:42.040 --> 00:15:42.240 Now, 00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:43.480 who eats from the tree? 00:15:45.180 --> 00:15:45.580 First. 00:15:47.019 --> 00:15:47.780 Eve does. 00:15:48.560 --> 00:15:50.040 What was Adam doing? 00:15:50.039 --> 00:15:52.860 Do you know what it says? 00:15:52.939 --> 00:15:53.919 It says he was right there 00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:54.419 with her. 00:15:55.379 --> 00:15:55.620 You think, 00:15:55.759 --> 00:15:57.439 I think if he'd had an iPhone, 00:15:57.579 --> 00:15:58.000 he would have been 00:15:58.000 --> 00:15:58.679 on his iPhone 00:15:58.679 --> 00:16:00.179 just watching YouTube videos. 00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:01.639 Watching to see, 00:16:01.939 --> 00:16:02.179 okay, 00:16:02.319 --> 00:16:03.659 what's going to happen to her? 00:16:04.139 --> 00:16:04.679 God said, 00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:05.839 we're going to die 00:16:05.839 --> 00:16:06.459 if we eat this, 00:16:06.579 --> 00:16:07.679 but let's see. 00:16:08.339 --> 00:16:09.719 Because if she doesn't eat, 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:10.399 then maybe 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:11.579 I'll have some afterwards. 00:16:13.339 --> 00:16:13.659 But, 00:16:14.219 --> 00:16:15.299 is Adam 00:16:15.299 --> 00:16:16.959 taking leadership? 00:16:18.139 --> 00:16:19.259 Is he loving his wife? 00:16:19.339 --> 00:16:19.519 No, 00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:20.480 because you know what happens? 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:21.939 God comes straight to him afterwards 00:16:21.939 --> 00:16:22.679 and says to him, 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:23.240 okay, 00:16:23.460 --> 00:16:23.699 Adam, 00:16:23.779 --> 00:16:24.939 why did you eat from the tree? 00:16:25.100 --> 00:16:25.759 And he goes, 00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:26.980 it was her, 00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:28.220 not me. 00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:30.500 And you see, 00:16:30.740 --> 00:16:32.980 when God has called Adam 00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:34.500 to take leadership, 00:16:34.699 --> 00:16:35.579 he's not doing that 00:16:35.579 --> 00:16:36.799 because he's not loving his wife. 00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:37.819 He's only being passive 00:16:37.819 --> 00:16:38.779 and thinking of himself. 00:16:40.019 --> 00:16:40.399 And actually, 00:16:40.460 --> 00:16:42.460 I was talking with my wife this week 00:16:42.460 --> 00:16:43.139 and just convicted 00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:44.480 I'm so much more like Adam 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:45.120 sometimes 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:46.319 in my life. 00:16:47.779 --> 00:16:47.980 But, 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:48.179 you know, 00:16:48.259 --> 00:16:49.179 Pastor John Piper, 00:16:49.179 --> 00:16:50.139 he says something like, 00:16:50.319 --> 00:16:51.139 he says something 00:16:51.139 --> 00:16:52.539 that actually has convicted me. 00:16:53.419 --> 00:16:53.739 He says, 00:16:53.819 --> 00:16:54.519 do you want to know 00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:55.799 who's leading 00:16:55.799 --> 00:16:57.039 out of love 00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:57.899 in your marriage? 00:16:58.379 --> 00:16:59.319 He says this, 00:16:59.659 --> 00:17:01.179 who says let's more? 00:17:02.199 --> 00:17:03.079 Who says let's more? 00:17:03.219 --> 00:17:04.559 Let's go out to eat tonight. 00:17:04.899 --> 00:17:06.559 Let's get our finances in order. 00:17:06.899 --> 00:17:08.500 Let's get to CG together. 00:17:08.700 --> 00:17:09.720 Let's pray together. 00:17:09.819 --> 00:17:11.419 Let's work on our marriage together. 00:17:11.420 --> 00:17:13.380 And it's not just, 00:17:13.880 --> 00:17:15.000 let's watch football every night 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:16.240 because that's what I want to do. 00:17:17.800 --> 00:17:18.200 Right? 00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:19.240 And he says, 00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:20.480 as a generalization 00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:21.539 and there's exceptions, 00:17:21.800 --> 00:17:23.220 but if the wife is saying 00:17:23.220 --> 00:17:25.200 let's far more than the guy, 00:17:25.800 --> 00:17:27.460 that's both a burden on the wife 00:17:27.460 --> 00:17:29.060 and it's a problem with the guy 00:17:29.060 --> 00:17:30.620 because he's not doing 00:17:30.620 --> 00:17:31.800 what God has called him to do, 00:17:31.840 --> 00:17:33.240 which is to lay down his life 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:34.400 and lead her, 00:17:35.140 --> 00:17:36.200 flourishing her. 00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:38.299 So guys, 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:40.100 how are we doing? 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:41.940 How are we doing 00:17:41.940 --> 00:17:43.259 with leading 00:17:43.259 --> 00:17:45.160 and flourishing our wives 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:46.360 so that they spiritually 00:17:46.360 --> 00:17:47.279 grow in Christ 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:48.200 so that our marriage 00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:49.700 is wanting to be centered on him? 00:17:49.900 --> 00:17:51.279 Are you saying let's? 00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:55.519 And notice, 00:17:55.980 --> 00:17:56.860 he doesn't say 00:17:56.860 --> 00:17:58.799 love your wives 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:00.980 when they're giving you sex. 00:18:01.860 --> 00:18:02.640 He doesn't say 00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:03.500 love your wives 00:18:03.500 --> 00:18:04.799 when they're prioritizing you 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:05.740 above their kids. 00:18:06.200 --> 00:18:06.980 He doesn't say 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:07.980 love your wives 00:18:07.980 --> 00:18:09.440 when you feel respected by them. 00:18:10.279 --> 00:18:10.660 He says, 00:18:10.860 --> 00:18:11.580 love your wives 00:18:11.580 --> 00:18:13.759 and don't be harsh with them. 00:18:14.840 --> 00:18:15.420 Do you know what that means? 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:16.259 That means literally 00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:18.180 don't be embittered by them. 00:18:19.460 --> 00:18:19.700 You see, 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:21.340 precisely when you feel 00:18:21.340 --> 00:18:23.180 they're not meeting 00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:24.220 your needs for 00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:25.039 and desires 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:26.080 for sex 00:18:26.080 --> 00:18:26.799 and respect 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:27.380 and time, 00:18:27.460 --> 00:18:28.360 that's precisely 00:18:28.360 --> 00:18:30.140 the time 00:18:30.140 --> 00:18:31.259 where God has called you 00:18:31.259 --> 00:18:32.240 to still keep loving. 00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:34.720 It's tough. 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:36.100 You know, 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.360 there's a book called 00:18:37.360 --> 00:18:38.100 His Needs, 00:18:38.200 --> 00:18:38.759 Her Needs. 00:18:39.059 --> 00:18:39.779 Has anyone read that? 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:41.860 It's a good book. 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:42.839 I recommend it. 00:18:43.860 --> 00:18:44.960 And what it says is 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:46.759 men have needs 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:47.779 and women have needs 00:18:47.779 --> 00:18:49.100 and it's like a love tank. 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:49.380 You know, 00:18:49.420 --> 00:18:50.779 you kind of fill each other up 00:18:50.779 --> 00:18:51.039 and you, 00:18:51.380 --> 00:18:51.819 you know, 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:53.059 men have needs for sex 00:18:53.059 --> 00:18:53.660 and respect 00:18:53.660 --> 00:18:55.380 and women have needs 00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:56.600 for like to be listened to 00:18:56.600 --> 00:18:57.539 and to be cherished 00:18:57.539 --> 00:18:58.460 and for conversation. 00:18:58.460 --> 00:18:58.860 So, 00:18:59.220 --> 00:18:59.779 wives, 00:18:59.960 --> 00:19:00.799 give him what he needs. 00:19:01.220 --> 00:19:01.700 Men, 00:19:01.860 --> 00:19:03.500 give them what your wife needs 00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:04.519 and it will be great. 00:19:06.140 --> 00:19:07.700 And there's a lot of wisdom in it. 00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:09.079 There's just one problem. 00:19:10.380 --> 00:19:11.700 If you look back 00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:16.559 in verse 13, 00:19:18.019 --> 00:19:19.579 Paul tells us, 00:19:20.380 --> 00:19:20.880 everyone, 00:19:21.420 --> 00:19:22.799 but in the context of marriage, 00:19:22.860 --> 00:19:23.819 he's applying it here, 00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:25.879 bear with one another in love. 00:19:26.379 --> 00:19:27.359 Forgive each other. 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:28.980 If you have a complaint, 00:19:29.939 --> 00:19:31.059 and this includes your spouse, 00:19:31.779 --> 00:19:32.839 if you're having a complaint, 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:35.859 forgive and walk with each other in this. 00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:38.559 Why does he say this? 00:19:41.179 --> 00:19:42.019 He says it, 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:42.919 when you get married, 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:43.679 who do you marry? 00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:46.039 And if you're not single, 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:47.119 if you're single, 00:19:47.939 --> 00:19:48.799 listen carefully. 00:19:49.079 --> 00:19:49.859 Who do you marry? 00:19:50.919 --> 00:19:52.139 You marry a sinner. 00:19:52.140 --> 00:19:52.820 Right? 00:19:54.700 --> 00:19:55.700 Every time. 00:19:56.020 --> 00:19:57.040 And who did they marry? 00:19:58.360 --> 00:19:59.800 They married a sinner too, 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:00.420 and that's you. 00:20:02.680 --> 00:20:03.160 Now, 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:04.220 through sin 00:20:04.220 --> 00:20:05.620 or through circumstances, 00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:07.259 there will be times 00:20:07.259 --> 00:20:07.820 where your spouse 00:20:08.380 --> 00:20:10.259 will not fill your love tank, 00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:12.820 will not meet all your needs. 00:20:13.520 --> 00:20:14.320 And as guys, 00:20:14.420 --> 00:20:15.740 and actually in both senses, 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:16.660 for men and women, 00:20:16.759 --> 00:20:18.640 we can end up looking elsewhere 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:21.580 into work, 00:20:21.579 --> 00:20:22.379 into other women, 00:20:22.579 --> 00:20:23.279 into pornography, 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:25.139 even if it's just in your mind, 00:20:25.199 --> 00:20:26.679 and we get resentful and bitter 00:20:26.679 --> 00:20:28.299 because we're not getting what we want, 00:20:28.539 --> 00:20:30.279 and we're not getting what we want 00:20:30.279 --> 00:20:32.099 at that moment 00:20:32.099 --> 00:20:33.539 because we've failed also 00:20:33.539 --> 00:20:35.139 to see that Jesus says, 00:20:35.859 --> 00:20:36.500 you've died, 00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:39.379 and your life is hidden with Christ. 00:20:40.019 --> 00:20:41.000 He's your life, 00:20:41.099 --> 00:20:41.919 not your wife. 00:20:42.659 --> 00:20:44.619 Your wife cannot justify you, 00:20:44.679 --> 00:20:45.779 only Jesus can. 00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.019 Your wife cannot fulfill you, 00:20:48.139 --> 00:20:49.500 only Jesus can. 00:20:49.500 --> 00:20:51.180 That can free you 00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:52.279 if you realize 00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:53.680 that in a relationship, 00:20:54.539 --> 00:20:56.579 each other is at some point or other 00:20:56.579 --> 00:20:58.099 going to disappoint you, 00:20:58.220 --> 00:20:59.380 and the only place 00:20:59.380 --> 00:21:00.440 for your salvation 00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:02.339 is not in each other, 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:03.720 it's in Jesus. 00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:05.859 That frees you to be thankful. 00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:07.680 That frees you to be patient, 00:21:08.099 --> 00:21:09.099 and it frees you to say, 00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:10.519 let's talk about this, 00:21:10.900 --> 00:21:11.500 but without demands, 00:21:12.259 --> 00:21:13.200 without accusations, 00:21:13.539 --> 00:21:14.480 but with patience, 00:21:14.940 --> 00:21:15.480 compassion, 00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:16.859 and gentleness. 00:21:16.859 --> 00:21:17.859 husbands, 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:19.319 love your wives. 00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:22.119 I've spent more time on that, 00:21:22.939 --> 00:21:26.359 but that is every single guy here. 00:21:26.439 --> 00:21:27.659 Whether you're married or not, 00:21:27.979 --> 00:21:28.799 God has called you 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:29.979 to be active in love. 00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:31.479 How are we doing? 00:21:33.139 --> 00:21:33.839 But wives, 00:21:35.399 --> 00:21:36.479 submit to your husbands. 00:21:38.039 --> 00:21:39.039 Notice he says, 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:39.939 not to all men, 00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:41.539 just to your husband. 00:21:42.219 --> 00:21:42.919 He doesn't say, 00:21:43.139 --> 00:21:43.539 husbands, 00:21:43.659 --> 00:21:44.719 make your wives submit. 00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:46.019 He doesn't say that. 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:47.079 He says, 00:21:47.420 --> 00:21:49.400 submit in the Lord. 00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:50.140 In other words, 00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:52.440 you're submitting with Jesus 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:54.059 as your highest authority. 00:21:55.140 --> 00:21:56.240 Your husband is not 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:57.319 your highest authority. 00:21:57.600 --> 00:21:58.259 Jesus is. 00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:59.519 So you submit only 00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:00.779 in matters of preference, 00:22:00.900 --> 00:22:02.039 not in matters of sin. 00:22:03.579 --> 00:22:05.000 And submission doesn't mean 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:06.279 wives be a doormat. 00:22:06.380 --> 00:22:07.140 It doesn't mean 00:22:07.140 --> 00:22:08.180 be a punch bag. 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:08.759 It doesn't mean 00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:09.880 give up your own opinions. 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:10.880 It doesn't mean 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.600 give up the ways to influence. 00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:13.259 It's not about 00:22:13.259 --> 00:22:14.279 who earns more money. 00:22:14.459 --> 00:22:15.159 It's not about 00:22:15.159 --> 00:22:16.259 who washes the dishes. 00:22:16.459 --> 00:22:17.819 It's none of those things. 00:22:18.179 --> 00:22:19.240 Because God wants 00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:20.659 strong and godly women 00:22:20.659 --> 00:22:22.480 who know and think 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:23.219 and influence 00:22:23.219 --> 00:22:24.459 for the cause of Christ. 00:22:25.980 --> 00:22:27.579 Jesus and Paul's ministry 00:22:27.579 --> 00:22:29.379 is filled with women 00:22:29.379 --> 00:22:31.059 who are playing key roles 00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:32.319 advancing the gospel 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:34.439 in a male-dominated society. 00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:37.679 But here's what submission is. 00:22:38.919 --> 00:22:40.559 Again, I'm using John Piper. 00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.799 Submission is the defined calling 00:22:42.799 --> 00:22:43.960 of a wife to honor 00:22:43.960 --> 00:22:46.179 and affirm her husband's leadership 00:22:46.179 --> 00:22:48.539 and so help to carry it through 00:22:48.539 --> 00:22:49.799 according to her gifts. 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.099 It's to honor and affirm 00:22:54.099 --> 00:22:55.159 her husband's leadership. 00:22:55.679 --> 00:22:57.740 It's a voluntary gift of love 00:22:57.740 --> 00:22:59.740 you give to your husband. 00:23:00.339 --> 00:23:02.099 It's being willing to yield to him 00:23:02.099 --> 00:23:03.299 the casting vote 00:23:03.299 --> 00:23:04.480 when after discussion 00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:05.779 you still can't agree. 00:23:06.599 --> 00:23:08.379 It's making space for him to lead 00:23:08.379 --> 00:23:09.740 so he can flourish in that. 00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:12.399 It's making space to honor 00:23:12.399 --> 00:23:13.839 and affirm his leadership. 00:23:15.299 --> 00:23:17.099 So how do you do that? 00:23:17.740 --> 00:23:18.799 How do you do that well 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.019 so there's a healthiness? 00:23:21.539 --> 00:23:22.819 Well, here's how you don't do it. 00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:23.399 Okay? 00:23:24.059 --> 00:23:26.119 You don't affirm someone's leadership 00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:28.019 when you focus on all the things 00:23:28.019 --> 00:23:28.740 he doesn't do 00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:29.720 rather than all the thinking 00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:30.879 of all the things he does do. 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:31.720 Okay? 00:23:32.819 --> 00:23:34.659 You know, he agreed to go shopping for you. 00:23:34.660 --> 00:23:36.759 And he comes back 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:37.420 having forgotten 00:23:37.420 --> 00:23:39.380 seven of the ten items 00:23:39.380 --> 00:23:40.100 you asked him 00:23:40.100 --> 00:23:41.400 and having bought a drone 00:23:41.400 --> 00:23:42.000 on the way 00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:43.160 for himself. 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:45.180 Now, 00:23:46.040 --> 00:23:47.259 women who are not affirming 00:23:47.259 --> 00:23:47.660 their husband's 00:23:48.900 --> 00:23:49.660 leadership 00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:50.980 say things like, 00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:53.060 you never remember 00:23:53.060 --> 00:23:54.420 things I want. 00:23:54.800 --> 00:23:56.700 You always think of yourself. 00:23:57.660 --> 00:23:59.460 Now, that may be 90% true. 00:23:59.460 --> 00:24:00.019 But, 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.140 it doesn't work 00:24:03.140 --> 00:24:04.000 in a relationship. 00:24:05.460 --> 00:24:06.640 But those who are looking 00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:07.299 to affirm 00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:08.460 their husband's leadership, 00:24:08.660 --> 00:24:09.360 do you know what they do? 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:10.380 They say they point out 00:24:10.380 --> 00:24:11.299 what he's doing well. 00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:13.539 So they build this culture 00:24:13.539 --> 00:24:15.140 of gospel affirmation. 00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:15.980 They say, 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:17.340 thank you for serving me 00:24:17.340 --> 00:24:18.920 by shopping for our family. 00:24:19.120 --> 00:24:20.340 I really appreciate you 00:24:20.340 --> 00:24:21.640 taking the time to do that. 00:24:22.220 --> 00:24:22.860 Is there any way 00:24:22.860 --> 00:24:23.880 I can help you remember 00:24:23.880 --> 00:24:25.240 the other items next time? 00:24:25.240 --> 00:24:28.000 And you know what? 00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:29.960 When you try that, 00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:31.640 you see what happens. 00:24:32.539 --> 00:24:34.079 When my wife does that to me, 00:24:34.180 --> 00:24:34.859 I kind of go, 00:24:35.500 --> 00:24:36.519 I was quite selfish, 00:24:36.660 --> 00:24:37.099 wasn't I? 00:24:37.900 --> 00:24:39.000 It doesn't work 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:39.700 when you're actually 00:24:39.700 --> 00:24:40.960 so focused 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.079 on trying to undermine 00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:43.420 whether Christ calls us 00:24:43.420 --> 00:24:44.880 to affirm and honor. 00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:45.900 That's what it means, 00:24:46.039 --> 00:24:47.200 submit leadership. 00:24:48.620 --> 00:24:49.259 And you know, 00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:51.319 how do we do that? 00:24:52.140 --> 00:24:53.039 Because he says, 00:24:53.339 --> 00:24:54.620 we died with Christ 00:24:54.619 --> 00:24:56.959 we're putting to death anger. 00:24:57.299 --> 00:24:58.899 We're putting on compassion, 00:24:59.439 --> 00:25:00.679 putting on patience, 00:25:00.979 --> 00:25:02.439 putting on meekness. 00:25:02.679 --> 00:25:03.819 That's a strength 00:25:03.819 --> 00:25:04.699 that is gentle. 00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:07.039 And the only way 00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:08.759 that husbands can love, 00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:09.879 the only way that wives 00:25:09.879 --> 00:25:10.759 can submit 00:25:10.759 --> 00:25:12.119 is if you realize 00:25:12.119 --> 00:25:13.839 that Christ is your life, 00:25:13.979 --> 00:25:14.779 not your spouse. 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:17.339 Only Christ is your life, 00:25:17.439 --> 00:25:18.219 not your spouse. 00:25:19.619 --> 00:25:20.779 That's the first thing. 00:25:21.500 --> 00:25:22.819 The gospel changes us. 00:25:23.179 --> 00:25:23.879 And if you're dating 00:25:23.880 --> 00:25:24.820 or single, 00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:25.480 by the way, 00:25:26.420 --> 00:25:27.580 don't settle 00:25:27.580 --> 00:25:28.720 for someone 00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:30.180 who is not 00:25:30.180 --> 00:25:32.100 seeking to lead you 00:25:32.100 --> 00:25:33.300 towards Christ 00:25:33.300 --> 00:25:34.940 if you're a woman. 00:25:35.220 --> 00:25:36.220 And if you're a guy, 00:25:36.360 --> 00:25:37.220 don't settle 00:25:37.220 --> 00:25:38.140 for someone 00:25:38.140 --> 00:25:39.220 who is not 00:25:39.220 --> 00:25:40.460 wanting you 00:25:40.460 --> 00:25:41.100 to lead them 00:25:41.100 --> 00:25:42.120 towards Christ 00:25:42.120 --> 00:25:44.300 because your marriage 00:25:44.300 --> 00:25:45.280 will not picture 00:25:45.280 --> 00:25:45.900 what Christ 00:25:45.900 --> 00:25:46.980 has called you to be. 00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:48.599 God 00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:49.279 is not 00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:49.920 so that's 00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:50.860 from self 00:25:50.860 --> 00:25:51.640 to others. 00:25:51.740 --> 00:25:52.660 That's what the gospel does. 00:25:52.759 --> 00:25:53.360 The second thing 00:25:53.360 --> 00:25:54.200 the gospel does, 00:25:54.779 --> 00:25:55.299 it takes us 00:25:55.299 --> 00:25:56.400 from provocation 00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:00.059 to hopeful confidence. 00:26:00.660 --> 00:26:00.920 And again, 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:01.400 I'm going to spend 00:26:01.400 --> 00:26:02.120 less time 00:26:02.120 --> 00:26:03.740 on the next two points 00:26:03.740 --> 00:26:05.319 just in case 00:26:05.319 --> 00:26:06.160 you were kind of wondering. 00:26:08.360 --> 00:26:08.920 Children, 00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:11.279 obey your parents 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:12.559 for this pleases 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:13.099 the Lord. 00:26:14.059 --> 00:26:14.539 Fathers, 00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:15.319 don't provoke 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:15.980 your children 00:26:15.980 --> 00:26:17.119 lest they be discouraged. 00:26:19.019 --> 00:26:19.779 Notice Paul, 00:26:20.059 --> 00:26:21.579 he values children 00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:22.619 by speaking to them. 00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:23.319 That was unusual. 00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:24.279 That didn't happen 00:26:24.279 --> 00:26:25.279 in their culture. 00:26:25.740 --> 00:26:26.559 And he speaks to them 00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:27.680 as those who can know 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:29.139 and please Jesus. 00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:30.440 As those who can have 00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:31.099 a relationship 00:26:31.099 --> 00:26:31.740 with Jesus 00:26:31.740 --> 00:26:32.759 even when they're young. 00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:35.019 But I'm going to focus 00:26:35.019 --> 00:26:36.220 on the parents here. 00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:36.799 And notice 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:38.539 that in this 00:26:38.539 --> 00:26:40.640 first part of the verse 00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:41.660 he focuses 00:26:41.660 --> 00:26:42.519 and mentions 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:43.500 both parents, 00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:44.519 mothers and fathers. 00:26:45.099 --> 00:26:46.099 But then in the second 00:26:46.099 --> 00:26:46.619 he says 00:26:46.619 --> 00:26:47.740 to fathers 00:26:47.740 --> 00:26:48.799 specifically 00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:50.059 because they were called 00:26:50.059 --> 00:26:51.579 to be the spiritual heads 00:26:51.579 --> 00:26:52.339 of the household. 00:26:52.900 --> 00:26:53.359 And he says 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:54.220 don't provoke 00:26:54.220 --> 00:26:54.940 your children. 00:26:55.859 --> 00:26:56.579 And that literally 00:26:56.579 --> 00:26:57.460 provoke means 00:26:57.460 --> 00:26:58.579 to stir up, 00:26:58.819 --> 00:26:59.920 to irritate them 00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:01.980 lest they be discouraged. 00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:04.960 And you can see 00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:05.660 from what he calls 00:27:05.660 --> 00:27:06.700 the children to be 00:27:06.700 --> 00:27:07.779 to obey parents 00:27:07.779 --> 00:27:09.619 so that it pleases God 00:27:09.619 --> 00:27:10.660 that actually 00:27:10.660 --> 00:27:11.299 he's saying 00:27:11.299 --> 00:27:12.279 don't act 00:27:12.279 --> 00:27:13.460 in such a way 00:27:13.460 --> 00:27:14.680 that they're going 00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:15.799 to be irritated 00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:17.059 to the point 00:27:17.059 --> 00:27:17.779 of losing 00:27:17.779 --> 00:27:18.879 courage 00:27:18.879 --> 00:27:19.839 and motivation 00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:21.359 to please Christ 00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:23.019 and to obey you. 00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:24.140 Okay? 00:27:24.279 --> 00:27:25.359 Don't act in a way 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:26.059 that does that. 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:27.740 Now you cannot 00:27:27.740 --> 00:27:28.740 make your children 00:27:28.740 --> 00:27:29.559 love Jesus 00:27:29.559 --> 00:27:31.160 but you can provide 00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:32.379 a gospel soil 00:27:32.380 --> 00:27:33.780 for them to experience 00:27:33.780 --> 00:27:34.460 the goodness 00:27:34.460 --> 00:27:35.340 and love 00:27:35.340 --> 00:27:36.100 of Jesus 00:27:36.100 --> 00:27:37.320 through your parenting. 00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:40.440 So I want to take 00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:41.780 this particular angle 00:27:41.780 --> 00:27:42.540 here today. 00:27:42.620 --> 00:27:43.300 There's so many things 00:27:43.300 --> 00:27:43.740 we can say. 00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.580 Simon has said 00:27:45.580 --> 00:27:46.380 most of the things 00:27:46.380 --> 00:27:46.940 already. 00:27:47.560 --> 00:27:48.080 But I want to just 00:27:48.080 --> 00:27:48.620 talk about 00:27:48.620 --> 00:27:49.260 it's alright 00:27:49.260 --> 00:27:50.020 Simon can preach 00:27:50.020 --> 00:27:50.640 next week. 00:27:51.380 --> 00:27:52.360 But I want to talk 00:27:52.360 --> 00:27:53.480 about a couple of things. 00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:54.460 What is the opposite 00:27:54.460 --> 00:27:55.560 of discouragement? 00:27:56.680 --> 00:27:57.380 What's the opposite? 00:27:57.380 --> 00:28:00.040 it's being filled 00:28:00.040 --> 00:28:00.940 with confidence 00:28:00.940 --> 00:28:01.940 and hope. 00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:05.060 Gospel parenting 00:28:05.060 --> 00:28:06.620 builds a household 00:28:06.620 --> 00:28:08.120 filled with confidence 00:28:08.120 --> 00:28:09.340 and hope. 00:28:10.520 --> 00:28:11.060 And he's saying 00:28:11.060 --> 00:28:12.400 don't undermine that 00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:12.880 by bringing 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:14.020 discouragement. 00:28:15.100 --> 00:28:16.100 Now here's the difference 00:28:16.100 --> 00:28:17.380 between secular thinking 00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:18.480 and Christian thinking. 00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:20.960 Secular thinking 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:21.660 the world says 00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:22.780 build your child's 00:28:22.780 --> 00:28:23.680 self-confidence. 00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:23.920 confidence. 00:28:24.759 --> 00:28:25.840 The gospel says 00:28:25.840 --> 00:28:26.799 build your child's 00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:27.560 God confidence. 00:28:28.600 --> 00:28:29.360 The world says 00:28:29.360 --> 00:28:30.360 build your child's 00:28:30.360 --> 00:28:31.259 hope in their 00:28:31.259 --> 00:28:32.080 school achievements 00:28:32.080 --> 00:28:33.160 in their career 00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:34.080 in their ability 00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:34.900 to have a secure 00:28:34.900 --> 00:28:36.000 financial future. 00:28:36.620 --> 00:28:37.440 The gospel says 00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:38.740 build your hope 00:28:38.740 --> 00:28:40.259 your child's hope 00:28:40.259 --> 00:28:41.080 in Jesus 00:28:41.080 --> 00:28:42.060 in whom your life 00:28:42.060 --> 00:28:42.620 is hidden. 00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:44.140 Because jobs 00:28:44.140 --> 00:28:44.779 will come 00:28:44.779 --> 00:28:46.140 jobs will go 00:28:46.140 --> 00:28:47.700 but only in Christ 00:28:47.700 --> 00:28:48.180 will they have 00:28:48.180 --> 00:28:48.799 confidence 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:49.620 regardless of 00:28:49.620 --> 00:28:50.400 any circumstance. 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:52.240 It's the greatest 00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:52.960 thing you can give 00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:53.560 your children. 00:28:54.560 --> 00:28:55.539 And so how can we 00:28:55.539 --> 00:28:56.680 provoke our children 00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:57.759 to lose 00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:58.820 or not have 00:28:58.820 --> 00:28:59.840 that kind of confidence? 00:29:01.860 --> 00:29:02.580 Well I want to 00:29:02.580 --> 00:29:03.440 just give you one 00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:05.299 specifically. 00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:07.500 It's when your own 00:29:07.500 --> 00:29:09.100 confidence and hope 00:29:09.100 --> 00:29:12.039 is in your performance 00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:13.039 it's in other things 00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:13.900 other than Jesus. 00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:15.620 It's in when you 00:29:15.620 --> 00:29:16.299 as parents 00:29:16.299 --> 00:29:17.160 it's in things 00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:18.019 other than Jesus. 00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:19.039 You know 00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:20.900 you can give 00:29:20.900 --> 00:29:21.600 your children 00:29:21.600 --> 00:29:22.720 moral principles. 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:23.759 Christian moral 00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:24.299 principles. 00:29:24.740 --> 00:29:25.559 You can discipline 00:29:25.559 --> 00:29:26.539 them with the law 00:29:26.539 --> 00:29:27.720 to make them 00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:28.360 good people 00:29:28.360 --> 00:29:29.100 on the outside 00:29:29.100 --> 00:29:30.200 but if you 00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:30.740 yourself 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:31.240 are not 00:29:31.240 --> 00:29:31.960 delighting 00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:32.620 in the grace 00:29:32.620 --> 00:29:33.220 and the love 00:29:33.220 --> 00:29:33.819 and the forgiveness 00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:34.519 of Jesus 00:29:34.519 --> 00:29:37.140 it will provoke 00:29:37.140 --> 00:29:38.100 and discourage 00:29:38.100 --> 00:29:38.400 them. 00:29:40.779 --> 00:29:41.039 You know 00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:41.620 when I was 00:29:41.620 --> 00:29:42.319 when I was 00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:42.720 at school 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.299 we had a 00:29:43.299 --> 00:29:44.299 Christian assembly. 00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:45.960 I hated 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:47.180 Christian assembly. 00:29:47.860 --> 00:29:48.319 There was in my 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:49.019 school there were 00:29:49.019 --> 00:29:50.180 two Christians 00:29:50.180 --> 00:29:51.059 out of 1500 00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:51.720 people 00:29:51.720 --> 00:29:52.799 and so 00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:53.940 but we had to do 00:29:53.940 --> 00:29:55.660 we had Christian 00:29:55.660 --> 00:29:56.460 moral teaching 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:56.940 the teachers 00:29:56.940 --> 00:29:57.420 would give us 00:29:57.420 --> 00:29:58.339 Christian moral 00:29:58.339 --> 00:29:58.740 teaching 00:29:58.740 --> 00:30:00.759 and I knew 00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:02.619 that none of the 00:30:02.619 --> 00:30:03.539 teachers believed it 00:30:03.539 --> 00:30:05.319 and then we were 00:30:05.319 --> 00:30:05.839 made to sing 00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:07.279 these hymns 00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:08.379 and 00:30:08.379 --> 00:30:10.379 I knew 00:30:10.379 --> 00:30:11.359 none of the 00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:11.680 teachers 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:13.059 really delighted 00:30:13.059 --> 00:30:13.539 in what they 00:30:13.539 --> 00:30:13.980 were singing. 00:30:13.980 --> 00:30:15.960 it was words 00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:16.519 to them 00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:18.500 and even 00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:19.120 now 00:30:19.120 --> 00:30:19.940 I just 00:30:19.940 --> 00:30:20.940 despise it 00:30:20.940 --> 00:30:21.500 it made me 00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:22.559 just irritated 00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:23.400 and angry 00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:24.839 because the 00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:25.640 hypocrisy 00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:26.400 that I saw 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:28.240 and actually 00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:28.740 if I hadn't 00:30:28.740 --> 00:30:29.400 had a great 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:30.059 example 00:30:30.059 --> 00:30:30.660 from my 00:30:30.660 --> 00:30:31.440 parents 00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:32.740 of the 00:30:32.740 --> 00:30:33.099 gospel 00:30:33.099 --> 00:30:33.680 I would have 00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:34.319 despised 00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:35.019 Christianity. 00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:38.860 John Piper 00:30:38.860 --> 00:30:39.380 again says 00:30:39.380 --> 00:30:39.819 this 00:30:39.819 --> 00:30:42.240 some parents 00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:43.019 fail to be 00:30:43.019 --> 00:30:43.819 happy and 00:30:43.819 --> 00:30:44.639 hopeful and 00:30:44.639 --> 00:30:45.359 confident in 00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:45.700 God. 00:30:46.539 --> 00:30:47.259 Mothers and 00:30:47.259 --> 00:30:47.539 fathers 00:30:47.539 --> 00:30:48.039 what you 00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:48.720 are in 00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:49.359 relation to 00:30:49.359 --> 00:30:49.779 God is 00:30:49.779 --> 00:30:50.339 far more 00:30:50.339 --> 00:30:50.919 important than 00:30:50.919 --> 00:30:51.579 any particular 00:30:51.579 --> 00:30:52.559 parenting technique 00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:53.119 you try and 00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:53.480 employ. 00:30:54.519 --> 00:30:54.899 Will your 00:30:54.899 --> 00:30:55.839 children hope 00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:56.299 in God 00:30:56.299 --> 00:30:56.919 if you hope 00:30:56.919 --> 00:30:57.359 in money? 00:30:57.939 --> 00:30:58.419 Will your 00:30:58.419 --> 00:30:58.960 children be 00:30:58.960 --> 00:30:59.579 happy in 00:30:59.579 --> 00:31:00.319 God if 00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:00.720 they see 00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:01.039 that your 00:31:01.039 --> 00:31:01.619 phone or 00:31:01.619 --> 00:31:02.079 your work 00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:02.419 is a 00:31:02.419 --> 00:31:02.759 happier 00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:03.480 experience 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:04.200 for you 00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:04.819 than worship? 00:31:05.500 --> 00:31:06.000 Will your 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:06.559 children be 00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:07.339 confident in 00:31:07.339 --> 00:31:08.139 God if 00:31:08.139 --> 00:31:08.679 your whole 00:31:08.679 --> 00:31:09.139 demeanor 00:31:09.139 --> 00:31:09.939 communicates 00:31:09.939 --> 00:31:10.700 the desire 00:31:10.700 --> 00:31:11.700 to be seen 00:31:11.700 --> 00:31:12.339 as self 00:31:12.339 --> 00:31:13.039 confident? 00:31:13.819 --> 00:31:14.439 God 00:31:14.439 --> 00:31:17.700 this is the 00:31:17.700 --> 00:31:18.339 challenge of 00:31:18.339 --> 00:31:18.839 the gospel 00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:19.779 for all of 00:31:19.779 --> 00:31:20.200 us. 00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:21.960 You know 00:31:21.960 --> 00:31:22.480 you can come 00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:23.019 to church 00:31:23.019 --> 00:31:23.399 and then you 00:31:23.399 --> 00:31:23.720 get that 00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:24.339 dreaded call 00:31:24.339 --> 00:31:24.859 from kids 00:31:24.859 --> 00:31:25.299 ministry 00:31:25.299 --> 00:31:25.919 that your 00:31:25.919 --> 00:31:26.839 kids are 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:27.200 the one 00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:27.519 who are 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:27.839 causing 00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:28.259 all the 00:31:28.259 --> 00:31:28.639 trouble. 00:31:29.700 --> 00:31:30.480 What goes 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:30.879 through your 00:31:30.879 --> 00:31:31.439 minds? 00:31:32.439 --> 00:31:32.939 Are we 00:31:32.939 --> 00:31:33.939 confident in 00:31:33.939 --> 00:31:34.500 the love of 00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:35.700 Jesus to 00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:36.720 say okay 00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:37.200 this is not 00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:37.799 about me 00:31:37.799 --> 00:31:38.379 what an 00:31:38.379 --> 00:31:38.879 amazing 00:31:38.879 --> 00:31:39.539 teachable 00:31:39.539 --> 00:31:40.119 moment to 00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:40.480 help my 00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:41.279 child understand 00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:41.720 the gospel 00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:42.059 better? 00:31:43.399 --> 00:31:45.139 Or are 00:31:45.139 --> 00:31:45.460 we so 00:31:45.460 --> 00:31:45.980 worried about 00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:46.399 what everyone 00:31:46.399 --> 00:31:46.960 else is going 00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:47.899 to think that 00:31:47.899 --> 00:31:48.500 we come down 00:31:48.500 --> 00:31:49.160 harder on our 00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:49.700 kids than we 00:31:49.700 --> 00:31:50.359 normally would? 00:31:51.680 --> 00:31:52.319 Our kids 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:53.259 know your 00:31:53.259 --> 00:31:54.339 relationship with 00:31:54.339 --> 00:31:54.859 God is the 00:31:54.859 --> 00:31:55.660 most important 00:31:55.660 --> 00:31:56.440 gift you will 00:31:56.440 --> 00:31:57.160 ever give to 00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:57.799 your children. 00:31:58.799 --> 00:31:59.240 So are you 00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:00.039 investing in 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:00.639 that gift? 00:32:01.660 --> 00:32:02.019 Are you 00:32:02.019 --> 00:32:02.799 investing in 00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:03.399 that gift? 00:32:04.500 --> 00:32:05.220 Paul Tripp 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:06.740 says this, 00:32:06.740 --> 00:32:08.279 I have 00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:08.799 never seen 00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:09.319 a particular 00:32:09.319 --> 00:32:09.859 sin, 00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:10.779 weakness, 00:32:11.200 --> 00:32:11.980 or fear 00:32:11.980 --> 00:32:12.559 in my 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:13.660 child that 00:32:13.660 --> 00:32:14.259 I couldn't 00:32:14.259 --> 00:32:15.539 identify or 00:32:15.539 --> 00:32:16.019 see its 00:32:16.019 --> 00:32:16.700 effects in 00:32:16.700 --> 00:32:17.059 my own 00:32:17.059 --> 00:32:17.420 heart. 00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:19.200 No parent 00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:20.319 gives mercy 00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:21.259 better than 00:32:21.259 --> 00:32:22.059 one who is 00:32:22.059 --> 00:32:22.779 convinced that 00:32:22.779 --> 00:32:23.359 he desperately 00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:23.920 needs it 00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:24.440 himself. 00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:26.599 You see 00:32:26.599 --> 00:32:26.960 there's so 00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:27.620 much pressure, 00:32:27.779 --> 00:32:28.059 there's so 00:32:28.059 --> 00:32:28.980 much expectation 00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:29.519 in Hong 00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:30.519 Kong on 00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:31.019 parents, 00:32:31.180 --> 00:32:31.839 on kids, 00:32:32.259 --> 00:32:33.839 but if you 00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:34.380 as a 00:32:34.380 --> 00:32:36.039 parent know 00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:36.440 that your 00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:37.039 confidence 00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:38.399 rests not 00:32:38.399 --> 00:32:38.700 in how 00:32:38.700 --> 00:32:39.319 great you've 00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:39.619 been as 00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:40.019 a parent, 00:32:40.139 --> 00:32:40.460 not in 00:32:40.460 --> 00:32:40.879 whether you've 00:32:40.879 --> 00:32:41.399 done everything 00:32:41.399 --> 00:32:42.039 correctly, 00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:42.980 but in the 00:32:42.980 --> 00:32:43.720 grace and 00:32:43.720 --> 00:32:44.059 mercy, 00:32:44.180 --> 00:32:44.879 the compassion, 00:32:45.059 --> 00:32:45.879 the patience, 00:32:46.180 --> 00:32:47.039 the kindness 00:32:47.039 --> 00:32:47.539 that Paul 00:32:47.539 --> 00:32:48.359 talks about 00:32:48.359 --> 00:32:49.519 that is all 00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:50.460 characteristic of 00:32:50.460 --> 00:32:51.480 God's love 00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:52.319 for us. 00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:55.019 Then when we 00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:55.500 discipline, 00:32:55.619 --> 00:32:56.139 we discipline 00:32:56.139 --> 00:32:57.259 out of firmness 00:32:57.259 --> 00:32:57.759 but out of 00:32:57.759 --> 00:32:58.460 patience and 00:32:58.460 --> 00:32:58.899 grace, 00:32:59.180 --> 00:32:59.619 and your 00:32:59.619 --> 00:33:00.159 kids will 00:33:00.159 --> 00:33:01.440 experience a 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:02.259 goodness of 00:33:02.259 --> 00:33:02.619 God, 00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:03.359 not just 00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:04.240 moral teaching 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:05.299 but delighting 00:33:05.299 --> 00:33:05.579 in who 00:33:05.579 --> 00:33:06.379 Jesus is. 00:33:09.119 --> 00:33:10.039 The gospel 00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:10.679 changes you 00:33:10.679 --> 00:33:11.199 from self 00:33:11.199 --> 00:33:11.779 to others. 00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:12.919 The gospel 00:33:12.919 --> 00:33:13.639 changes you 00:33:13.639 --> 00:33:14.460 from provoking 00:33:14.460 --> 00:33:15.319 to hopeful 00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:16.279 confidence for 00:33:16.279 --> 00:33:17.460 yourself and 00:33:17.460 --> 00:33:17.779 for your 00:33:17.779 --> 00:33:18.179 kids. 00:33:19.139 --> 00:33:20.079 Last thing, 00:33:20.519 --> 00:33:21.000 and this is 00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:21.299 going to be 00:33:21.299 --> 00:33:21.619 short, 00:33:24.679 --> 00:33:25.019 and this 00:33:25.019 --> 00:33:25.299 actually, 00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:25.960 all of these 00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:26.980 things apply 00:33:26.980 --> 00:33:27.980 in every 00:33:27.980 --> 00:33:29.139 relationship in 00:33:29.139 --> 00:33:29.919 different ways. 00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:31.639 And this 00:33:31.639 --> 00:33:32.539 one, the 00:33:32.539 --> 00:33:33.019 last thing I'm 00:33:33.019 --> 00:33:33.399 going to say 00:33:33.399 --> 00:33:35.419 is the gospel 00:33:35.420 --> 00:33:36.279 changes us 00:33:36.279 --> 00:33:37.000 from present 00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:37.720 reward to 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:38.320 worship of 00:33:38.320 --> 00:33:38.759 Christ. 00:33:39.380 --> 00:33:39.740 And Paul 00:33:39.740 --> 00:33:40.500 applies this 00:33:40.500 --> 00:33:41.060 to work, 00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:41.759 and we'll 00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:42.180 spend more 00:33:42.180 --> 00:33:42.660 time looking 00:33:42.660 --> 00:33:43.940 at work 00:33:43.940 --> 00:33:44.300 and things 00:33:44.300 --> 00:33:44.779 later on, 00:33:44.820 --> 00:33:45.180 but I just 00:33:45.180 --> 00:33:45.740 want to talk 00:33:45.740 --> 00:33:46.180 about two 00:33:46.180 --> 00:33:46.539 things. 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:48.900 Paul goes 00:33:48.900 --> 00:33:49.620 on to say, 00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:50.740 slaves, 00:33:51.140 --> 00:33:51.940 obey your 00:33:51.940 --> 00:33:53.060 earthly masters, 00:33:53.840 --> 00:33:54.480 not out of 00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:55.320 eye service, 00:33:55.580 --> 00:33:56.200 not just when 00:33:56.200 --> 00:33:56.840 they're looking, 00:33:57.360 --> 00:33:58.420 not just when 00:33:58.420 --> 00:33:59.519 they're there 00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:00.160 in front of 00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:00.380 you, and 00:34:00.380 --> 00:34:00.620 then when 00:34:00.620 --> 00:34:01.000 they're not 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:01.640 there, you 00:34:01.640 --> 00:34:01.940 go on 00:34:01.940 --> 00:34:02.420 Facebook, 00:34:03.620 --> 00:34:04.220 but with 00:34:04.220 --> 00:34:05.200 sincerity of 00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:06.519 heart, fearing 00:34:06.519 --> 00:34:07.019 the Lord. 00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:08.159 And then he 00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:08.480 says, you 00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:10.539 know, knowing 00:34:10.539 --> 00:34:11.360 that from the 00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:12.179 Lord, you're 00:34:12.179 --> 00:34:12.360 going to 00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:13.460 receive the 00:34:13.460 --> 00:34:14.579 inheritance as 00:34:14.579 --> 00:34:15.159 a reward. 00:34:16.900 --> 00:34:17.940 Throughout every 00:34:17.940 --> 00:34:19.159 relationship, where 00:34:19.159 --> 00:34:19.940 is your reward 00:34:19.940 --> 00:34:20.320 from? 00:34:21.380 --> 00:34:22.200 Who is your 00:34:22.200 --> 00:34:22.700 master? 00:34:24.659 --> 00:34:25.700 If you think 00:34:25.700 --> 00:34:26.639 you're stuck in 00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:27.800 a work situation, 00:34:28.260 --> 00:34:29.000 a relationship, 00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:29.860 if you think 00:34:29.860 --> 00:34:30.400 you're stuck 00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:31.220 struggling with 00:34:31.220 --> 00:34:32.880 your boss, the 00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:33.860 slave had no 00:34:33.860 --> 00:34:34.599 choice as to 00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:35.260 which workplace 00:34:35.260 --> 00:34:35.680 they were going 00:34:35.680 --> 00:34:36.079 to be in. 00:34:36.900 --> 00:34:37.940 He was stuck. 00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:40.200 The only choice 00:34:40.200 --> 00:34:41.559 he had or she 00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:43.079 had was this. 00:34:43.680 --> 00:34:44.740 I can do what 00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:45.559 I'm going to do 00:34:45.559 --> 00:34:46.760 out of just fear 00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:47.980 of my boss or 00:34:47.980 --> 00:34:48.539 out of worship 00:34:48.539 --> 00:34:49.079 to Jesus. 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:51.059 I can do what 00:34:51.059 --> 00:34:51.800 he says just 00:34:51.800 --> 00:34:52.340 when his eye 00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:53.039 is on me, 00:34:53.599 --> 00:34:55.160 and then do my 00:34:55.160 --> 00:34:55.900 work holiday 00:34:55.900 --> 00:34:56.760 planning when 00:34:56.760 --> 00:34:57.480 he's not there. 00:34:57.900 --> 00:34:59.800 Or I can see 00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:00.440 that my boss 00:35:00.440 --> 00:35:01.039 is always 00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:01.820 watching me, 00:35:02.039 --> 00:35:02.960 and my heart 00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:03.640 is that I'm 00:35:03.640 --> 00:35:04.360 not just working 00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:05.039 for an earthly 00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:05.820 master, I have 00:35:05.820 --> 00:35:06.300 a heavenly 00:35:06.300 --> 00:35:07.740 master, and I 00:35:07.740 --> 00:35:08.940 want to please 00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:09.640 him more than 00:35:09.640 --> 00:35:10.460 anyone else. 00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:12.080 And this is 00:35:12.080 --> 00:35:13.700 hard, because 00:35:13.700 --> 00:35:14.960 the prize we're 00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:15.860 often looking for 00:35:15.860 --> 00:35:17.340 in our lives is 00:35:17.340 --> 00:35:17.760 this. 00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:18.840 I want a fully 00:35:18.840 --> 00:35:19.880 fulfilling, 00:35:20.200 --> 00:35:20.760 satisfying, 00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:22.060 meaningful job 00:35:22.060 --> 00:35:22.860 where my boss 00:35:22.860 --> 00:35:23.940 and my colleagues 00:35:23.940 --> 00:35:25.039 appreciate me 00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:26.420 and feel like I'm 00:35:26.420 --> 00:35:27.060 doing something 00:35:27.060 --> 00:35:28.320 purposeful in life. 00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:29.440 Isn't that what 00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:30.080 we want from 00:35:30.080 --> 00:35:30.500 our work? 00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:31.100 Actually, work 00:35:31.100 --> 00:35:32.000 is made to be 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:32.880 fulfilling and 00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:33.519 satisfying. 00:35:34.580 --> 00:35:35.700 But just as in 00:35:35.700 --> 00:35:36.600 marriage and in 00:35:36.600 --> 00:35:38.940 family, it doesn't 00:35:38.940 --> 00:35:41.240 always satisfy us 00:35:41.240 --> 00:35:41.980 the way it should. 00:35:43.059 --> 00:35:44.019 I don't think many 00:35:44.019 --> 00:35:45.660 slaves had any of 00:35:45.660 --> 00:35:46.340 those things. 00:35:47.240 --> 00:35:47.840 But in the 00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:49.000 gospel, Paul says, 00:35:49.140 --> 00:35:49.760 your workplace, 00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:50.320 whether it's 00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:51.220 fulfilling or not, 00:35:51.600 --> 00:35:52.059 whether you're 00:35:52.059 --> 00:35:53.260 appreciated or not, 00:35:53.260 --> 00:35:55.059 if you've died and 00:35:55.059 --> 00:35:56.059 Jesus has given you 00:35:56.059 --> 00:35:57.400 a new life and is 00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:58.639 your new boss, you 00:35:58.639 --> 00:35:59.740 have a new reward 00:35:59.740 --> 00:36:00.820 and your purpose is 00:36:00.820 --> 00:36:01.619 to please him. 00:36:05.019 --> 00:36:07.619 Tim Keller, I'm 00:36:07.619 --> 00:36:08.059 going to finish 00:36:08.059 --> 00:36:10.160 with this, tells the 00:36:10.160 --> 00:36:11.260 story of Chariots of 00:36:11.260 --> 00:36:12.900 Fire, where two 00:36:12.900 --> 00:36:14.000 runners, Harold 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.119 Abrahams and Eric 00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:16.300 Little, were running 00:36:16.300 --> 00:36:17.400 in the 1924 00:36:17.400 --> 00:36:18.000 Olympics. 00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:20.880 Abrahams was 00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:21.860 obsessed with 00:36:21.860 --> 00:36:22.220 winning. 00:36:23.180 --> 00:36:24.360 He loved the sport 00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:25.480 and before his 00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:27.140 final race, he 00:36:27.140 --> 00:36:27.880 says this, he 00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:28.740 says, and now in 00:36:28.740 --> 00:36:30.220 one hour's time, I 00:36:30.220 --> 00:36:30.980 will be out there 00:36:30.980 --> 00:36:32.220 again, I will raise 00:36:32.220 --> 00:36:33.519 my eyes, I will look 00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:34.460 down that corridor 00:36:34.460 --> 00:36:35.940 four feet wide with 00:36:35.940 --> 00:36:37.559 ten lonely seconds to 00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:38.840 justify my whole 00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:39.360 existence. 00:36:40.380 --> 00:36:41.200 But will I? 00:36:42.539 --> 00:36:43.320 But will I? 00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:46.180 Little loved running, 00:36:46.360 --> 00:36:47.079 but he did it to 00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:47.880 worship and please 00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:48.240 God. 00:36:49.099 --> 00:36:50.380 And he says, I 00:36:50.380 --> 00:36:51.559 believe that God made 00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:52.519 me for a purpose, 00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:53.799 but he also made 00:36:53.799 --> 00:36:54.480 me fast. 00:36:55.059 --> 00:36:56.779 And when I run, I 00:36:56.779 --> 00:36:58.119 feel his pleasure. 00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:00.739 Abrahams thought his 00:37:00.739 --> 00:37:01.880 ultimate reward was 00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:02.699 in the gold medal. 00:37:03.380 --> 00:37:04.519 That medal was his 00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:05.039 life. 00:37:05.860 --> 00:37:06.679 And so he lived 00:37:06.679 --> 00:37:07.840 constantly fearful 00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:08.699 that he might miss 00:37:08.699 --> 00:37:09.519 out, that if he 00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:10.400 couldn't get everything 00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:11.320 he wanted in his 00:37:11.320 --> 00:37:12.659 work, in his time, 00:37:12.820 --> 00:37:13.699 then he might not 00:37:13.699 --> 00:37:15.320 have life. 00:37:16.820 --> 00:37:17.699 Little wanted to 00:37:17.699 --> 00:37:18.679 win equally, but he 00:37:18.679 --> 00:37:19.500 knew Jesus had 00:37:19.500 --> 00:37:20.579 already died to 00:37:20.579 --> 00:37:21.440 justify him. 00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:22.440 His life was 00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:23.159 hidden now in 00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:23.659 Christ. 00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:25.119 A new identity, he 00:37:25.119 --> 00:37:25.739 had nothing to 00:37:25.739 --> 00:37:26.159 prove. 00:37:26.279 --> 00:37:27.840 Jesus' pleasure was 00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:28.659 his reward. 00:37:29.579 --> 00:37:30.599 So he could go out 00:37:30.599 --> 00:37:31.960 and run hard and 00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:33.619 run well, but afterwards 00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:35.539 he could rest secure 00:37:35.539 --> 00:37:36.840 knowing whether he 00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:38.619 won or not, knowing 00:37:38.619 --> 00:37:39.619 whether your family 00:37:39.619 --> 00:37:40.699 is going well or 00:37:40.699 --> 00:37:41.659 not, knowing whether 00:37:41.659 --> 00:37:42.500 your marriage is 00:37:42.500 --> 00:37:43.880 going well or not. 00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:45.840 But when Christ is 00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:48.159 your reward, you look 00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:49.319 to him as your life. 00:37:49.320 --> 00:37:51.059 You look to him as 00:37:51.059 --> 00:37:51.720 your hope. 00:37:52.160 --> 00:37:53.039 You look to him as 00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:53.760 your confidence. 00:37:54.420 --> 00:37:55.640 You look to him as 00:37:55.640 --> 00:37:56.380 the one who's going to 00:37:56.380 --> 00:37:57.860 satisfy you in a way 00:37:57.860 --> 00:37:59.039 that no matter how 00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:00.340 good your marriage, 00:38:00.460 --> 00:38:01.580 your parenting, your 00:38:01.580 --> 00:38:03.039 family, your work life 00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:04.620 is, whatever any of 00:38:04.620 --> 00:38:08.220 those things, Jesus is 00:38:08.220 --> 00:38:09.460 everything you need. 00:38:11.180 --> 00:38:12.380 So preach it to 00:38:12.380 --> 00:38:12.940 yourself. 00:38:13.740 --> 00:38:14.539 Preach it to each 00:38:14.539 --> 00:38:14.860 other. 00:38:15.380 --> 00:38:16.420 Preach it to your CG. 00:38:16.420 --> 00:38:18.139 Every day we need 00:38:18.139 --> 00:38:19.180 help to remember 00:38:19.180 --> 00:38:21.780 my hope is not 00:38:21.780 --> 00:38:24.260 found in myself. 00:38:24.820 --> 00:38:25.800 My hope is not 00:38:25.800 --> 00:38:26.599 found in getting what 00:38:26.599 --> 00:38:27.079 I need. 00:38:27.539 --> 00:38:28.460 My hope, my 00:38:28.460 --> 00:38:29.720 confidence, my life 00:38:29.720 --> 00:38:31.260 is in Jesus alone. 00:38:31.900 --> 00:38:32.659 Let me pray. 00:38:32.659 --> 00:38:43.139 Maybe you just want to 00:38:43.139 --> 00:38:46.619 stop and just think 00:38:46.619 --> 00:38:47.139 at the moment. 00:38:50.339 --> 00:38:58.940 Am I living with my 00:38:58.940 --> 00:39:00.699 eyes set on that prize 00:39:00.699 --> 00:39:01.699 of the pleasure of 00:39:01.699 --> 00:39:02.159 Christ? 00:39:03.179 --> 00:39:05.639 Am I living, turning 00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:07.139 with the responsibility 00:39:07.139 --> 00:39:08.819 that God has given me, 00:39:09.039 --> 00:39:09.960 whether it's your 00:39:09.960 --> 00:39:11.319 husband or wife, 00:39:11.739 --> 00:39:12.460 whether it's your 00:39:12.460 --> 00:39:13.919 single, whether it's 00:39:13.919 --> 00:39:16.000 you are a parent or 00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:17.460 not, whether it's 00:39:17.460 --> 00:39:18.619 you're a child of 00:39:18.619 --> 00:39:20.239 your father and 00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:21.460 mother, whether it's 00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:22.579 you're an employee or 00:39:22.579 --> 00:39:23.259 an employer? 00:39:23.260 --> 00:39:28.820 where is my life? 00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:33.220 Because you died, I 00:39:33.220 --> 00:39:35.040 died, and our lives 00:39:35.040 --> 00:39:35.760 are hidden with 00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:36.720 Christ in God. 00:39:37.660 --> 00:39:38.840 I pray, Father, this 00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:39.740 week you would help us 00:39:39.740 --> 00:39:40.440 to see you. 00:39:41.240 --> 00:39:42.400 I pray this week you'd 00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:43.300 help us to see with 00:39:43.300 --> 00:39:45.620 confidence that you are 00:39:45.620 --> 00:39:47.260 with us, that you 00:39:47.260 --> 00:39:49.180 challenge us, that you're 00:39:49.180 --> 00:39:49.840 going to move us 00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:50.400 forward. 00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:52.559 Lord, your grace and 00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:53.599 your compassion and 00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:54.639 your mercy is what we 00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:55.760 need every single day. 00:39:58.340 --> 00:39:59.760 I pray that you would 00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:00.960 open our eyes to see 00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:01.680 our need of you. 00:40:03.160 --> 00:40:04.019 Don't let us be 00:40:04.019 --> 00:40:05.099 satisfied with just 00:40:05.099 --> 00:40:06.119 living for ourselves, 00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:08.039 because we've died, 00:40:08.720 --> 00:40:09.800 and our lives are in 00:40:09.800 --> 00:40:10.019 you. 00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:11.960 Thank you, Jesus. 00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:13.079 Amen. 00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:13.599 Amen. 00:40:13.599 --> 00:40:13.920 Amen. 00:40:14.079 --> 00:40:14.599 Amen. 00:40:16.980 --> 00:40:17.440 Amen. 00:40:25.619 --> 00:40:26.019 Amen. 00:40:26.019 --> 00:40:26.079 Amen. 00:40:30.119 --> 00:40:30.159 Amen. 00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:30.860 Amen. 00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:31.019 Amen. 00:40:31.219 --> 00:40:31.400 Amen. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:31.679 Amen. 00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:31.920 Amen. 00:40:32.299 --> 00:40:32.819 Amen. 00:40:32.819 --> 00:40:33.099 Amen. 00:40:33.099 --> 00:40:34.099 Amen. 00:40:34.219 --> 00:40:34.480 Amen. 00:40:34.519 --> 00:40:34.699 Amen. 00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:35.940 Amen. 00:40:35.940 --> 00:40:36.199 Amen. 00:40:36.659 --> 00:40:36.940 Amen. 00:40:37.259 --> 00:40:38.139 Amen. 00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:38.840 Amen. 00:40:38.920 --> 00:40:39.219 Amen. 00:40:39.219 --> 00:40:39.239 Amen. 00:40:39.340 --> 00:40:39.799 Amen. 00:40:39.819 --> 00:40:40.139 Yes. 00:40:40.139 --> 00:40:40.860 Amen. 00:40:40.860 --> 00:40:41.519 Amen. 00:40:41.519 --> 00:40:42.039 Amen. 00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:42.659 Amen.