WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.839 Would you open up your Bibles now to Colossians chapter 3? 00:00:06.640 --> 00:00:09.240 It's on page 1170. 00:00:10.700 --> 00:00:15.740 I'm going to start by reading Colossians chapter 3. 00:00:17.379 --> 00:00:22.859 I'm going to be preaching on 18 and 19, the roles of men and women in marriage. 00:00:23.539 --> 00:00:25.760 But I'm going to start in verse 12 in the reading. 00:00:26.580 --> 00:00:28.460 And I'll read through verse 19. 00:00:28.460 --> 00:00:33.219 May God bless the hearing of His Word. 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:42.980 Put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 00:00:43.939 --> 00:00:52.719 Bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 00:00:53.780 --> 00:00:56.820 And above all these, put on love, the love. 00:00:58.460 --> 00:01:00.420 Which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 00:01:00.539 --> 00:01:05.260 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called into one body. 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:06.320 And be thankful. 00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:10.879 Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. 00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:13.960 Singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:18.379 And with thankfulness in your hearts to God in whatever you do, in word or deed. 00:01:18.479 --> 00:01:23.199 Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. 00:01:23.459 --> 00:01:28.959 Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. 00:01:30.379 --> 00:01:33.159 Husbands, love your wives. 00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:35.819 And do not be harsh with them. 00:01:36.379 --> 00:01:40.780 May God bless the hearing and now preaching of His Word. 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:46.920 There's this one particular scene in the Princess Bride. 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:54.500 Princess Buttercup and the evil Prince Humperdinck are kneeling at the altar. 00:01:55.719 --> 00:01:57.780 And the priest has his back turned. 00:01:57.939 --> 00:02:01.060 And the priest turns and he signals them to rise. 00:02:01.060 --> 00:02:03.819 And then the priest says, 00:02:03.819 --> 00:02:06.540 Marriage. 00:02:08.599 --> 00:02:16.520 Marriage is what brings us together today. 00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:23.039 It's quite a scene. 00:02:24.780 --> 00:02:37.759 You have a incompetent religious professional making a mockery of the institution of marriage. 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:44.159 We live in a culture that is terribly confused about marriage. 00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:49.900 Not just the nature of marriage, but the roles of men and women in marriage. 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:58.780 There's even confusion within the church about the roles of men and women within a Christian marriage. 00:02:59.659 --> 00:03:01.859 Brothers and sisters, we need clarity. 00:03:01.860 --> 00:03:07.720 And God's Word gives us clarity. 00:03:07.719 --> 00:03:20.579 Biblically speaking, marriage is an exclusive commitment between one man, one woman, to each other, for life, before God. 00:03:20.580 --> 00:03:33.200 And we've reached a point in the book of Colossians where Paul has moved from addressing the church to now addressing households. 00:03:34.500 --> 00:03:38.780 And what we have in 3.18-4.1 is what's called a household code. 00:03:38.780 --> 00:03:39.780 A household code. 00:03:39.780 --> 00:03:51.520 It's hard to talk about. 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:52.860 It's even hard to say from the pulpit. 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:55.319 Household slaves and masters. 00:03:55.319 --> 00:04:05.519 A household code is actually a spelling out of the authority structure within a household. 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:16.120 And Paul begins the household code section with instructions to wives and husbands in marriage. 00:04:18.259 --> 00:04:22.279 Marriage is not why we've come together today. 00:04:23.459 --> 00:04:24.480 Christ is. 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:25.300 Christ is. 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:32.879 And so what I'm going to argue for this morning from the Bible, from this text that we're going to read that many of us are wondering about. 00:04:34.939 --> 00:04:42.539 Christ must be the controlling center of our marriages, brothers and sisters. 00:04:43.659 --> 00:04:45.639 Christ must be the controlling center. 00:04:47.019 --> 00:04:49.000 So here's how we're going to proceed. 00:04:50.459 --> 00:04:54.779 I just want to help you think about Christian household codes. 00:04:55.319 --> 00:04:56.839 And the nature of authority. 00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:00.399 And then we're going to look at the call to Christian husbands. 00:05:00.819 --> 00:05:02.360 And then the call to Christian wives. 00:05:02.879 --> 00:05:05.139 And then I'm calling you out to the dance floor. 00:05:05.139 --> 00:05:12.699 Christ must be the controlling center of our marriages. 00:05:12.699 --> 00:05:14.199 Of our marriages, brothers and sisters. 00:05:14.199 --> 00:05:20.860 We will experience Christocentric resonance in our marriages. 00:05:20.860 --> 00:05:21.860 The peace of Christ. 00:05:21.860 --> 00:05:24.439 The peace of Christ ruling our hearts. 00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:28.300 The word of Christ dwelling richly among husband and wife. 00:05:28.420 --> 00:05:31.280 And we're doing everything in word and deed. 00:05:31.420 --> 00:05:34.160 Our roles played out in the name of Jesus. 00:05:34.420 --> 00:05:34.920 Do I have an amen? 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:35.920 Amen. 00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:36.160 Amen. 00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:40.640 So regarding household codes and authority. 00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:51.879 Back in the first century, a household code provided clarity to the relationships within a household. 00:05:51.980 --> 00:05:59.280 And at that time, it regarded marriage in terms of, and as well as parenting children, as well as relationships with household slaves. 00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:04.399 This past week, I read three household codes. 00:06:05.159 --> 00:06:06.619 One written by Aristotle. 00:06:06.759 --> 00:06:08.119 The other written by Philo. 00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:09.819 The other written by Josephus. 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:12.579 And all three had two things in common. 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:12.879 You ready? 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:23.279 These non-Christian household codes, they made the man, the head of the home, the controlling center of the household. 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:26.219 These non-Christian codes did. 00:06:27.599 --> 00:06:34.659 And secondly, these non-Christian household codes, they demeaned those who were in an inferior position. 00:06:34.919 --> 00:06:36.199 They were in a subordinate role. 00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:45.519 And so, all three of the codes, they obviously valued wives, children, and slaves less than the man of the home. 00:06:45.519 --> 00:07:00.759 But then when you look at Christian household codes, like we have in Colossians 3, Ephesians 5 and 6, 1 Peter chapter 3, they are revolutionary. 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:11.000 A Christian household code insists on Christ being the controlling center of a household. 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:13.859 You can see it in our passage. 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:18.539 Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting to the Lord. 00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:24.579 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:31.500 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, fearing the Lord, in verse 22. 00:07:31.659 --> 00:07:37.859 Whatever you do, as do it as the Lord, you're serving the Lord Christ, in verse 24. 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.039 And then finally, he turns to masters. 00:07:40.040 --> 00:07:45.740 And masters of the first century household would have been the fathers and husbands as well. 00:07:45.879 --> 00:07:46.780 So, one man. 00:07:47.640 --> 00:07:48.780 He says to them, 00:07:49.660 --> 00:07:54.840 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a master in heaven. 00:07:55.840 --> 00:07:56.820 Reverence to the Lord Jesus. 00:07:56.819 --> 00:08:04.079 Every person in a household is called to make Jesus the controlling center of their life. 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:06.920 It's revolutionary. 00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:11.379 All the members, here's another difference. 00:08:11.719 --> 00:08:15.159 All the members of a Christian household are to be dignified. 00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:20.760 Despite their role, they're to be dignified as having equal value. 00:08:23.900 --> 00:08:30.640 A husband who leads his home isn't, in God's eyes, more valuable than his wife or his children. 00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:33.960 No, we're all image bearers. 00:08:34.800 --> 00:08:37.340 We are all equally in need of being saved. 00:08:37.340 --> 00:08:44.019 But one of the things I also want you to notice, and this is debatable within the Christian church, 00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:52.680 Paul preserves an authority structure that is grounded in the order of creation. 00:08:54.040 --> 00:09:02.300 And so, he looks to husbands and fathers to be the unique leader of the home. 00:09:03.280 --> 00:09:05.100 Having a unique responsibility. 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:08.040 I'm going to come back to that in a little bit. 00:09:08.840 --> 00:09:15.680 But I just want you to help you see that the purpose of a household code is to bring priests in order to a household. 00:09:17.500 --> 00:09:20.639 And we're to do this in a Christocentric way. 00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:25.340 In a way that dignifies everyone in our home. 00:09:27.159 --> 00:09:29.320 Now, let me just speak a word about authority. 00:09:31.259 --> 00:09:33.100 I'm guessing when you hear the word authority, 00:09:33.100 --> 00:09:36.620 authority, you think power. 00:09:38.360 --> 00:09:41.220 The power to tell someone else what to do. 00:09:42.820 --> 00:09:49.759 Our culture isolates authority as something to be grasped for in order to get your agenda done. 00:09:51.259 --> 00:09:53.580 Here's how I want you to think about authority. 00:09:55.460 --> 00:09:57.980 Authority is the function of responsibility. 00:09:57.980 --> 00:10:03.279 Authority is an outworking of responsibility. 00:10:04.420 --> 00:10:09.740 When God entrusts people to another person, 00:10:09.899 --> 00:10:13.960 He grants them authority to act on their behalf. 00:10:14.820 --> 00:10:16.500 For their well-being. 00:10:17.500 --> 00:10:22.340 That's Christian authority operating in an understanding of Christian responsibility. 00:10:22.340 --> 00:10:28.360 We don't divorce authority from responsibility. 00:10:28.660 --> 00:10:31.360 We understand it as a necessary function of it. 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:39.680 And so the elders of a church are given authority to act on behalf of the members of the church 00:10:39.680 --> 00:10:42.360 because they have a responsibility before the Lord 00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:46.399 to oversee the church for the church's well-being. 00:10:47.740 --> 00:10:54.379 And God gives responsibility, a unique responsibility to husbands and fathers in Christian households 00:10:54.379 --> 00:10:56.700 for the well-being of their wives and children. 00:10:57.980 --> 00:11:00.480 And that's why He gives us a unique authority 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:04.840 to be used for the well-being of those in our homes. 00:11:04.840 --> 00:11:09.620 So we need to be thinking well about these things. 00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:14.780 A Christian household are to be Christ-centered and dignifying of all. 00:11:15.680 --> 00:11:18.920 And the God-given authority given to people with a responsibility 00:11:18.920 --> 00:11:22.560 is for the good of those in the household. 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:28.820 So now let's look at the call to Christian husbands. 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:31.920 Verse 19. 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:39.500 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:41.780 Let me just remind you of who's being addressed here. 00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:47.060 Because this is not a new start in the book of Colossians. 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:50.540 This is coming out of what we just read, 00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:52.800 what we've just been studying, 00:11:53.139 --> 00:11:54.740 what we've been seeking to apply. 00:11:55.860 --> 00:12:00.840 Brother, if you're a Christian married man in the room, 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:05.120 God is addressing you here clearly. 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:09.540 Husbands, love your wives. 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:14.960 These married men have been delivered from the domain of darkness 00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:17.860 and transferred into the kingdom of the beloved son. 00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:21.860 These married men have been given a new identity. 00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:28.139 They have been united with Christ in His death and His resurrection. 00:12:28.139 --> 00:12:33.120 Their identity is not so much in their manness 00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:36.139 as first and foremost in their being in Christ. 00:12:38.899 --> 00:12:39.919 They have a new aim. 00:12:41.019 --> 00:12:43.319 Seek the things that are above, where Christ is. 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:47.939 They have a new time frame. 00:12:48.139 --> 00:12:52.159 They are wanting to live out their lives, 00:12:52.340 --> 00:12:54.200 realizing they're in between the first coming 00:12:54.200 --> 00:12:55.560 and the second coming of Christ. 00:12:57.280 --> 00:12:58.460 They got a new wardrobe. 00:12:59.900 --> 00:13:01.020 These Christian men, 00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:04.440 they are to put off the old self 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:07.080 with all of their grave clothes 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:10.300 and put on the new self of Christ-likeness, 00:13:10.420 --> 00:13:11.520 compassionate hearts, 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:14.520 kindness, 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:17.040 humility, 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:19.960 meekness, 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:22.120 patience, 00:13:23.080 --> 00:13:24.259 and above all else, 00:13:24.340 --> 00:13:24.620 love. 00:13:27.560 --> 00:13:28.360 And so brothers, 00:13:28.460 --> 00:13:30.060 here's what you've got to understand at the forefront. 00:13:30.280 --> 00:13:31.680 I want you to feel the weight of this. 00:13:32.379 --> 00:13:34.560 We see it played out in Genesis 1, 2, and 3. 00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:38.340 Just as God held Adam accountable 00:13:38.340 --> 00:13:39.980 for his family 00:13:39.980 --> 00:13:42.040 in Genesis 3, 9, 00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:44.220 in a unique way, 00:13:44.220 --> 00:13:47.560 God is going to hold you accountable 00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:49.639 for your family 00:13:49.639 --> 00:13:51.080 in a unique way. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:53.460 It's a responsibility 00:13:53.460 --> 00:13:55.060 he's entrusted to you. 00:13:56.920 --> 00:13:57.980 Their well-being. 00:13:59.259 --> 00:13:59.740 And so brother, 00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:00.800 as the head of your home, 00:14:01.139 --> 00:14:03.040 you must love your wives. 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.259 The well-being of your wife 00:14:06.259 --> 00:14:09.340 is your top priority. 00:14:09.340 --> 00:14:12.440 And the way you 00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:14.660 show this responsibility, 00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:16.740 the way you show this commitment, 00:14:16.920 --> 00:14:18.759 the way you lead your wife, 00:14:18.860 --> 00:14:20.220 the way that you exercise 00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:21.120 this authority 00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:22.740 given to you by God 00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:26.340 is by loving your wife. 00:14:28.259 --> 00:14:28.980 That word love 00:14:28.980 --> 00:14:31.100 in verse 19 00:14:31.100 --> 00:14:33.360 follows on the heels 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.420 of the use of the word love 00:14:35.420 --> 00:14:36.460 in verse 14. 00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:38.680 And above all these, 00:14:38.820 --> 00:14:40.160 put on the love. 00:14:42.259 --> 00:14:44.560 The Christ-like love 00:14:44.560 --> 00:14:47.379 of John 13, 34, and 35. 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:49.540 It's the, 00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:51.400 you want to flip over 00:14:51.400 --> 00:14:53.180 to Ephesians chapter 5. 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:56.620 It's this kind of love. 00:14:57.420 --> 00:14:59.040 Husbands, love your wives 00:14:59.040 --> 00:15:00.759 as Christ loved the church 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:03.600 and gave himself up for her 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:05.280 that he might sanctify her, 00:15:05.340 --> 00:15:06.120 having cleansed her 00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:07.100 by the washing of water 00:15:07.100 --> 00:15:07.799 with the word. 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:10.799 This kind of love 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:12.259 that we're talking about here 00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:15.799 is not a domineering love. 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:17.379 It's not a tyrannical love. 00:15:17.500 --> 00:15:21.240 It's not an abdicating love. 00:15:22.700 --> 00:15:24.340 It's a self-sacrificing love. 00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:27.120 It's I'm going to lay my life down 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:28.399 for my wife, 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:30.100 for her well-being. 00:15:30.700 --> 00:15:31.899 All unto Christ. 00:15:32.659 --> 00:15:33.620 For the well-being 00:15:33.620 --> 00:15:35.519 of her physical body, 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:36.659 for the well-being 00:15:36.659 --> 00:15:38.299 of her mental health, 00:15:38.419 --> 00:15:39.600 of her emotional health, 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:41.139 of her relational health, 00:15:41.299 --> 00:15:42.080 and of course, 00:15:42.759 --> 00:15:43.899 her spiritual health. 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:47.519 I'm going to sacrifice myself 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:50.940 for her comprehensive well-being. 00:15:50.940 --> 00:15:54.380 You know what the result is? 00:15:56.180 --> 00:15:58.320 When a brother's loving his wife like that, 00:15:59.800 --> 00:16:00.440 do you know what happens? 00:16:02.620 --> 00:16:04.400 Your lady thrives. 00:16:06.400 --> 00:16:07.460 She blossoms. 00:16:07.460 --> 00:16:11.360 She experiences, 00:16:11.860 --> 00:16:13.200 through your loving leadership, 00:16:14.980 --> 00:16:15.400 joy, 00:16:17.019 --> 00:16:17.700 gladness, 00:16:18.560 --> 00:16:18.980 safety, 00:16:20.379 --> 00:16:20.840 support. 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:23.440 Brother, imagine this. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:24.160 You're at the judgment 00:16:24.160 --> 00:16:26.320 and your wife goes first. 00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:29.940 The Lord Jesus asks her, 00:16:31.460 --> 00:16:32.200 so how did Mike do? 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:36.420 Jenny's like, 00:16:36.860 --> 00:16:37.020 eh. 00:16:39.820 --> 00:16:41.300 I'm anticipating that time. 00:16:41.400 --> 00:16:42.500 Jesus is going to look at me 00:16:42.500 --> 00:16:42.940 and I'm going to, 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:43.300 hmm. 00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:47.360 But if Jenny says this, 00:16:47.540 --> 00:16:48.540 or your brother, 00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:49.600 your wife says this, 00:16:51.020 --> 00:16:52.000 Mike wasn't perfect. 00:16:53.540 --> 00:16:54.660 He stepped on my toes a lot. 00:16:56.600 --> 00:16:56.980 But man, 00:16:56.980 --> 00:17:00.259 he helped me to thrive 00:17:00.259 --> 00:17:02.500 for you. 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:05.440 He helped me to treasure you, 00:17:05.900 --> 00:17:06.319 Lord Jesus. 00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:08.480 He gave himself 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:10.839 so that I could treasure you, 00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:11.640 Lord Jesus. 00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:15.039 I don't need to hear anything else. 00:17:17.180 --> 00:17:18.140 What a day. 00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:20.759 Brothers, 00:17:22.120 --> 00:17:24.160 ours is a high, 00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:26.180 Christ-like call. 00:17:26.980 --> 00:17:30.339 to love your wives. 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:31.220 There's a qualification. 00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:33.380 Don't be harsh with them. 00:17:34.900 --> 00:17:36.539 Let me just put in some other words. 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:38.980 Don't be domineering. 00:17:40.599 --> 00:17:41.519 Don't bully. 00:17:42.980 --> 00:17:44.019 Don't demean. 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.240 Don't despise. 00:17:47.019 --> 00:17:48.059 Don't be impatient. 00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:51.120 That word harsh 00:17:51.120 --> 00:17:53.480 literally means to become embittered. 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:55.860 So let's just say 00:17:55.860 --> 00:17:56.940 your wife comes up to you 00:17:56.940 --> 00:17:58.019 and she's like 00:17:58.019 --> 00:17:58.880 trying to help you 00:17:58.880 --> 00:17:59.579 not to sin. 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:01.799 You might become embittered. 00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:03.860 Don't be embittered 00:18:03.860 --> 00:18:04.380 because she's trying 00:18:04.380 --> 00:18:05.299 to help you follow Jesus. 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:06.240 Thank her. 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:13.099 This word harsh 00:18:13.099 --> 00:18:14.240 gives me an opportunity 00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:15.980 to talk about abuse. 00:18:15.980 --> 00:18:21.620 This rules out 00:18:21.620 --> 00:18:22.440 any 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:25.279 physical abuse. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:26.259 It rules out 00:18:26.259 --> 00:18:27.700 any emotional, 00:18:28.019 --> 00:18:28.299 verbal, 00:18:28.599 --> 00:18:29.640 sexual abuse. 00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:30.799 Brothers, 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:33.380 we may not 00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:34.740 abuse our wives. 00:18:34.900 --> 00:18:35.920 It's an abuse 00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:37.660 of your responsibility. 00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:40.120 God has not 00:18:40.120 --> 00:18:40.960 called you to that. 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:43.940 You're not to sin 00:18:43.940 --> 00:18:44.620 against your wives 00:18:44.619 --> 00:18:45.139 like that. 00:18:46.919 --> 00:18:48.059 It's the very opposite 00:18:48.059 --> 00:18:49.000 of laying your life 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:50.559 down for your wife's 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:52.039 good. 00:18:55.139 --> 00:18:56.559 I have another qualification. 00:18:57.339 --> 00:18:58.639 This isn't apostolic. 00:18:58.799 --> 00:18:59.579 This isn't written 00:18:59.579 --> 00:19:01.359 in holy script. 00:19:03.619 --> 00:19:04.719 I'd put it this way. 00:19:06.199 --> 00:19:06.759 Paul just said 00:19:06.759 --> 00:19:07.659 don't be harsh with them. 00:19:08.539 --> 00:19:09.419 I would say 00:19:09.419 --> 00:19:09.799 brothers, 00:19:09.919 --> 00:19:10.599 don't be hiding 00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:11.179 from them. 00:19:14.619 --> 00:19:15.859 Don't be checking out. 00:19:17.979 --> 00:19:19.299 Harshness is a distortion 00:19:19.299 --> 00:19:20.959 of your responsibility 00:19:20.959 --> 00:19:22.579 by way of tyranny. 00:19:23.959 --> 00:19:24.679 Checking out 00:19:24.679 --> 00:19:25.159 and hiding 00:19:25.159 --> 00:19:26.000 is a distortion 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:27.199 of your responsibility 00:19:27.199 --> 00:19:28.079 by abdication. 00:19:30.399 --> 00:19:31.359 It is 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:33.639 an abdicating 00:19:33.639 --> 00:19:34.500 of the responsibility 00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:35.359 given to you, 00:19:35.479 --> 00:19:35.579 brother, 00:19:35.659 --> 00:19:36.519 by God himself. 00:19:38.179 --> 00:19:39.379 You might say to me, 00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:39.759 oh Mike, 00:19:39.819 --> 00:19:40.739 she's more spiritual 00:19:40.739 --> 00:19:41.299 than I am. 00:19:41.379 --> 00:19:41.959 She's more mature 00:19:41.959 --> 00:19:42.339 than me. 00:19:43.099 --> 00:19:43.379 Okay, 00:19:43.720 --> 00:19:44.240 that's fine. 00:19:45.439 --> 00:19:46.579 That doesn't relieve you 00:19:46.579 --> 00:19:47.359 of the responsibility 00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:48.919 of laying your life 00:19:48.919 --> 00:19:49.720 down for her good. 00:19:51.959 --> 00:19:52.259 Mike, 00:19:52.339 --> 00:19:53.220 she's more effective 00:19:53.220 --> 00:19:54.319 than I am. 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:56.559 She gets things done. 00:19:57.639 --> 00:19:58.000 Great, 00:19:58.159 --> 00:19:58.740 utilize it. 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:00.279 That doesn't relieve you 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:01.099 of the responsibility 00:20:01.099 --> 00:20:02.039 God has given you. 00:20:03.919 --> 00:20:04.359 Mike, 00:20:04.779 --> 00:20:06.519 I'm compromised 00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:08.319 by my own sin. 00:20:09.959 --> 00:20:11.220 I've been hamstrung. 00:20:12.339 --> 00:20:15.279 I think 00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.319 that there's 00:20:16.319 --> 00:20:17.480 a wicked scheme 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:17.959 of the devil 00:20:17.959 --> 00:20:18.839 out there right now. 00:20:21.159 --> 00:20:22.139 Hamstringing men, 00:20:22.399 --> 00:20:23.539 Christian men 00:20:23.539 --> 00:20:25.699 from leading 00:20:25.699 --> 00:20:26.619 in their homes 00:20:26.619 --> 00:20:29.220 because they know 00:20:29.220 --> 00:20:30.139 they've disqualified 00:20:30.139 --> 00:20:30.779 themselves. 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:33.799 Brothers, 00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:36.639 whatever sin it may be, 00:20:37.639 --> 00:20:38.539 don't be hiding. 00:20:38.539 --> 00:20:40.920 don't be hiding 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:41.740 from your wife. 00:20:42.839 --> 00:20:43.519 She's part 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:44.940 of the solution 00:20:44.940 --> 00:20:47.259 to you 00:20:47.259 --> 00:20:47.680 living 00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:49.119 an uncompromised 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:49.619 life. 00:20:51.299 --> 00:20:52.059 A life 00:20:52.059 --> 00:20:52.639 of integrity. 00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:57.039 These are weighty 00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:57.319 issues, 00:20:57.399 --> 00:20:57.720 aren't they? 00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:00.659 But there's 00:21:00.659 --> 00:21:01.000 goodness 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:01.659 to this. 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:02.879 Brothers, 00:21:04.099 --> 00:21:04.759 responsibility 00:21:04.759 --> 00:21:05.579 is good. 00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:07.579 It's good. 00:21:07.579 --> 00:21:10.619 you might be 00:21:10.619 --> 00:21:11.460 asking right now, 00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:12.819 what do I do? 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:14.359 What do I do? 00:21:16.399 --> 00:21:17.319 Here's what you do. 00:21:19.859 --> 00:21:20.740 Treasure Jesus 00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:21.539 above all else. 00:21:23.299 --> 00:21:24.039 Treasure him. 00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:26.519 Make him center 00:21:26.519 --> 00:21:27.899 of all that you are 00:21:27.899 --> 00:21:28.639 and you bring 00:21:28.639 --> 00:21:30.199 that to your wife. 00:21:30.639 --> 00:21:31.199 You bring that 00:21:31.199 --> 00:21:32.039 to your marriage, 00:21:32.179 --> 00:21:32.399 brother. 00:21:33.799 --> 00:21:34.679 That's what you do. 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:37.580 I'm going to give you 00:21:37.580 --> 00:21:38.560 some dance instructions 00:21:38.560 --> 00:21:39.220 and a little bit 00:21:39.220 --> 00:21:39.660 of some steps 00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:40.160 you can take. 00:21:42.380 --> 00:21:43.220 The first thing 00:21:43.220 --> 00:21:44.640 is the most important 00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:44.940 thing 00:21:44.940 --> 00:21:46.420 and that is to make 00:21:46.420 --> 00:21:47.660 Jesus your first love. 00:21:49.080 --> 00:21:49.880 More than you love 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:50.259 yourself, 00:21:50.380 --> 00:21:50.960 more than you love 00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:51.480 your spouse. 00:21:54.220 --> 00:21:55.140 Having said that, 00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:56.180 the call to Christian 00:21:56.180 --> 00:21:57.580 husbands now look 00:21:57.580 --> 00:21:58.799 at the call 00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.560 to Christian wives. 00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:00.120 I know everybody 00:22:00.120 --> 00:22:00.779 in the room wants 00:22:00.779 --> 00:22:01.140 to know what 00:22:01.140 --> 00:22:01.799 submit means. 00:22:01.799 --> 00:22:01.860 Submit means. 00:22:02.940 --> 00:22:03.000 Submit means. 00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:05.960 But let me just 00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:06.500 remind you, 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:06.900 sister, 00:22:07.660 --> 00:22:08.279 of who you are. 00:22:09.360 --> 00:22:10.060 If you're a married 00:22:10.060 --> 00:22:10.900 Christian woman, 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:12.539 God is addressing 00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:13.320 you directly. 00:22:16.360 --> 00:22:16.840 Wives, 00:22:16.940 --> 00:22:17.860 submit to your husbands 00:22:17.860 --> 00:22:19.980 as is fitting 00:22:19.980 --> 00:22:20.600 in the Lord. 00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:26.320 The women being 00:22:26.320 --> 00:22:26.980 addressed here 00:22:26.980 --> 00:22:28.519 are married women 00:22:28.519 --> 00:22:29.360 who've been transferred 00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:30.000 from the domain 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.500 of darkness 00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:32.039 into the kingdom 00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:32.860 of the beloved son. 00:22:32.859 --> 00:22:34.859 The women 00:22:34.859 --> 00:22:35.519 that he's addressing 00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:36.799 here are women 00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:37.719 with a new identity. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:39.619 These women 00:22:39.619 --> 00:22:40.399 have been united 00:22:40.399 --> 00:22:41.039 with Christ 00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:41.599 in his death 00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:42.159 and resurrection. 00:22:43.259 --> 00:22:44.359 So their identity 00:22:44.359 --> 00:22:45.319 is not being 00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:45.839 in a wife 00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:46.719 or being the wife 00:22:46.719 --> 00:22:47.799 of this particular man. 00:22:48.139 --> 00:22:49.019 First and foremost, 00:22:49.399 --> 00:22:50.579 their controlling identity 00:22:50.579 --> 00:22:51.579 is that they've been 00:22:51.579 --> 00:22:52.479 united with Christ 00:22:52.479 --> 00:22:53.000 in his death 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:53.559 and resurrection. 00:22:54.039 --> 00:22:54.259 Ladies, 00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:54.939 do I have an amen? 00:22:54.939 --> 00:22:55.079 Amen. 00:22:58.539 --> 00:22:59.519 They have a new aim 00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:01.559 to seek the things 00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:02.079 that are above 00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:02.920 where Christ is. 00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:04.539 It's Christ 00:23:04.539 --> 00:23:05.319 that you serve. 00:23:07.339 --> 00:23:08.379 New time frame. 00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:11.400 You live 00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:12.619 in between 00:23:12.619 --> 00:23:13.819 the first coming 00:23:13.819 --> 00:23:14.700 and second coming 00:23:14.700 --> 00:23:15.579 of Jesus. 00:23:15.779 --> 00:23:16.019 Church, 00:23:16.099 --> 00:23:16.879 what time is it? 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:19.039 It's Christ time. 00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:20.920 Ladies, 00:23:21.059 --> 00:23:21.920 you've got a new attire. 00:23:22.099 --> 00:23:22.839 It just so happens 00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:23.940 to be the same attire 00:23:23.940 --> 00:23:24.799 as your husband's. 00:23:25.700 --> 00:23:26.220 To put off 00:23:26.220 --> 00:23:26.799 the old self 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:27.599 and to put on 00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:29.019 new Christ-likeness, 00:23:29.919 --> 00:23:30.680 compassionate hearts, 00:23:30.819 --> 00:23:31.039 kindness, 00:23:31.220 --> 00:23:31.519 humility, 00:23:31.700 --> 00:23:32.079 meekness, 00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:32.779 patience, 00:23:32.899 --> 00:23:33.079 love. 00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:33.619 Did you hear 00:23:33.619 --> 00:23:34.319 what's going on here? 00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:36.200 We've got husband 00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:37.059 and wife 00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:39.059 adorned in Christ 00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:42.819 dancing the dance 00:23:42.819 --> 00:23:43.339 of marriage. 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:46.399 So now we come 00:23:46.399 --> 00:23:47.379 to this word submit. 00:23:51.220 --> 00:23:51.619 Sister, 00:23:53.460 --> 00:23:54.279 when you read 00:23:54.279 --> 00:23:54.980 that word submit, 00:23:54.980 --> 00:23:56.160 that despite what 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:57.660 our culture may say 00:23:57.660 --> 00:23:58.680 and despite 00:23:58.680 --> 00:24:00.299 what you may feel, 00:24:01.819 --> 00:24:02.519 that word submit 00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:03.079 doesn't mean 00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:03.640 you're inferior. 00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:05.799 That's not what 00:24:05.799 --> 00:24:07.279 it's getting at. 00:24:08.539 --> 00:24:10.319 We fully embrace 00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:11.779 the equal value 00:24:11.779 --> 00:24:12.460 of men and women 00:24:12.460 --> 00:24:13.099 in our church. 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:14.880 God's given 00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:15.700 different roles. 00:24:17.099 --> 00:24:17.480 That's why 00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:18.279 this word is here. 00:24:20.360 --> 00:24:20.839 But you need 00:24:20.839 --> 00:24:21.440 not fear it. 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:22.400 You're not inferior. 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.120 Kevin DeYoung 00:24:24.120 --> 00:24:25.780 is one of my 00:24:25.780 --> 00:24:26.620 favorite preachers 00:24:26.620 --> 00:24:27.100 and one of my 00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:28.140 favorite thinkers. 00:24:29.080 --> 00:24:30.200 He wrote an article. 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:31.160 I got it somewhere. 00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:32.140 Here. 00:24:32.600 --> 00:24:33.340 Here it is. 00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:35.800 Let us reason 00:24:35.800 --> 00:24:36.460 together about 00:24:36.460 --> 00:24:37.680 complementarianism. 00:24:37.860 --> 00:24:38.860 That's a huge word. 00:24:39.580 --> 00:24:40.080 But that's 00:24:40.080 --> 00:24:41.259 kind of what's behind 00:24:41.259 --> 00:24:42.000 what we're talking about. 00:24:42.060 --> 00:24:42.840 If you want to learn 00:24:42.840 --> 00:24:43.400 about this, 00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:44.460 there are 30 copies 00:24:44.460 --> 00:24:45.780 of this article 00:24:45.780 --> 00:24:46.440 outside 00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:47.360 in the 00:24:47.360 --> 00:24:48.220 Connect Desk. 00:24:48.280 --> 00:24:48.920 Grab one. 00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:50.539 But in this article, 00:24:50.680 --> 00:24:51.500 he makes a case 00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:53.519 that the 38 times 00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:54.519 this word submit, 00:24:54.660 --> 00:24:55.500 hypotasso, 00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:56.840 is used 00:24:56.840 --> 00:24:57.680 in the New Testament, 00:24:58.140 --> 00:24:59.259 it's always referring 00:24:59.259 --> 00:25:01.420 to one party, 00:25:02.900 --> 00:25:06.140 always in a relationship 00:25:06.140 --> 00:25:08.840 with one party 00:25:08.840 --> 00:25:09.440 in authority 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:10.180 over another. 00:25:13.060 --> 00:25:14.100 The party 00:25:14.100 --> 00:25:14.840 in the subordinate 00:25:14.840 --> 00:25:16.019 role is called 00:25:16.019 --> 00:25:16.440 to submit. 00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:19.559 to the authority 00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:20.160 of the one 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:21.160 who has a responsibility. 00:25:22.259 --> 00:25:22.460 So, 00:25:22.860 --> 00:25:24.259 here's how to think 00:25:24.259 --> 00:25:25.160 about submission. 00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:27.740 Submission 00:25:27.740 --> 00:25:28.480 is a willing 00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:29.519 coming under, 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:30.539 a willing 00:25:30.539 --> 00:25:31.519 coming under 00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:33.320 the God-given 00:25:33.320 --> 00:25:33.980 authority 00:25:33.980 --> 00:25:34.920 and responsibility 00:25:34.920 --> 00:25:35.960 of someone else. 00:25:36.860 --> 00:25:37.120 That's what 00:25:37.120 --> 00:25:37.740 submission is. 00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:39.279 Willingly coming 00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:40.400 under God's 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:40.960 good design 00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:41.400 of something. 00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:43.539 It's a wife 00:25:43.539 --> 00:25:43.840 saying, 00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:44.340 my husband 00:25:44.340 --> 00:25:45.559 has a God-given 00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:46.259 responsibility, 00:25:46.440 --> 00:25:47.519 for me, 00:25:47.820 --> 00:25:48.900 and I will 00:25:48.900 --> 00:25:49.700 entrust myself 00:25:49.700 --> 00:25:50.180 to him. 00:25:51.700 --> 00:25:52.200 That's what 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:52.799 submission is. 00:25:55.299 --> 00:25:55.700 Now, 00:25:55.759 --> 00:25:56.279 this isn't done 00:25:56.279 --> 00:25:56.660 blindly, 00:25:57.340 --> 00:25:58.600 because I'm guessing 00:25:58.600 --> 00:25:59.220 in many of your 00:25:59.220 --> 00:25:59.920 minds right now, 00:25:59.980 --> 00:26:00.200 you're saying, 00:26:00.299 --> 00:26:00.340 well, 00:26:00.420 --> 00:26:01.259 what about this? 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:02.740 What about that? 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:06.640 I'm not trying 00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.700 to be Pollyanna here. 00:26:08.539 --> 00:26:08.920 I'm not trying 00:26:08.920 --> 00:26:09.519 to see things 00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:10.120 in rose-colored 00:26:10.120 --> 00:26:10.600 glasses. 00:26:11.080 --> 00:26:11.880 What we do need 00:26:11.880 --> 00:26:12.519 to hear clearly, 00:26:12.620 --> 00:26:12.720 though, 00:26:12.740 --> 00:26:13.200 is what God 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:13.980 is saying to you. 00:26:13.980 --> 00:26:14.980 What God 00:26:16.440 --> 00:26:16.940 is, 00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:19.039 just imagine 00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:19.420 this. 00:26:22.980 --> 00:26:24.980 If a Christian 00:26:24.980 --> 00:26:25.460 wife 00:26:25.460 --> 00:26:28.920 is thoroughly 00:26:28.920 --> 00:26:29.600 convinced 00:26:29.600 --> 00:26:33.180 by her husband's 00:26:33.180 --> 00:26:34.519 actions 00:26:34.519 --> 00:26:37.240 that he is 00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:38.580 sacrificing himself 00:26:38.580 --> 00:26:39.920 for her well-being, 00:26:41.360 --> 00:26:41.900 do you know 00:26:41.900 --> 00:26:42.400 what that does? 00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:42.480 Do you know 00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:44.400 what that does? 00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:47.580 that makes 00:26:47.580 --> 00:26:48.380 submission a joy? 00:26:52.040 --> 00:26:53.060 That positions 00:26:53.060 --> 00:26:54.019 her to respond 00:26:54.019 --> 00:26:54.420 well. 00:26:56.380 --> 00:26:57.620 She has confidence 00:26:57.620 --> 00:26:58.259 in you, 00:26:58.420 --> 00:26:58.680 brothers. 00:26:59.180 --> 00:26:59.640 At the heart 00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:00.440 of responsibility 00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:01.980 is trustworthiness, 00:27:02.180 --> 00:27:02.700 and at the heart 00:27:02.700 --> 00:27:03.500 of trustworthiness 00:27:03.500 --> 00:27:04.640 is character, 00:27:05.780 --> 00:27:06.320 integrity. 00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:14.179 If you want 00:27:14.179 --> 00:27:14.619 to look at 00:27:14.619 --> 00:27:15.059 Ephesians 00:27:15.059 --> 00:27:15.960 chapter 5, 00:27:17.799 --> 00:27:18.740 22 00:27:18.740 --> 00:27:20.339 through 24, 00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:21.179 we read this. 00:27:22.339 --> 00:27:22.659 Wives, 00:27:22.779 --> 00:27:23.359 submit to your 00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:24.139 own husbands, 00:27:24.579 --> 00:27:26.019 not to somebody 00:27:26.019 --> 00:27:26.599 else's husband. 00:27:29.399 --> 00:27:29.879 Wives, 00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:30.359 submit to your 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:30.939 own husbands 00:27:30.939 --> 00:27:33.319 as to the 00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:33.740 Lord, 00:27:33.740 --> 00:27:35.980 for the 00:27:35.980 --> 00:27:36.420 husband is 00:27:36.420 --> 00:27:36.660 the head 00:27:36.660 --> 00:27:36.880 of the 00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:37.160 wife, 00:27:37.220 --> 00:27:37.599 even as 00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:38.160 Christ is 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.420 the head 00:27:38.420 --> 00:27:38.660 of the 00:27:38.660 --> 00:27:39.000 church, 00:27:39.420 --> 00:27:39.960 his body 00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:40.799 and himself 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:41.259 as Savior. 00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:41.740 That's an 00:27:41.740 --> 00:27:42.500 actual argument 00:27:42.500 --> 00:27:42.980 from the 00:27:42.980 --> 00:27:43.539 order of 00:27:43.539 --> 00:27:43.940 creation. 00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:46.420 Now as 00:27:46.420 --> 00:27:46.779 the church 00:27:46.779 --> 00:27:47.359 submits to 00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:47.799 Christ, 00:27:47.940 --> 00:27:48.440 so also 00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:49.359 wives should 00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:50.500 submit in 00:27:50.500 --> 00:27:51.180 everything to 00:27:51.180 --> 00:27:51.700 their husbands. 00:27:51.819 --> 00:27:52.079 Husbands, 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:52.460 love your 00:27:52.460 --> 00:27:53.099 wives as 00:27:53.099 --> 00:27:53.620 Christ loved 00:27:53.620 --> 00:27:54.019 the church 00:27:54.019 --> 00:27:54.339 and gave 00:27:54.339 --> 00:27:55.039 himself up 00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:55.660 for her. 00:27:55.660 --> 00:27:55.960 Do you 00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:56.460 see what's 00:27:56.460 --> 00:27:57.000 going on 00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:57.240 here? 00:27:58.940 --> 00:27:59.220 Our 00:27:59.220 --> 00:27:59.900 marriages 00:27:59.900 --> 00:28:00.839 are living 00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:01.660 parables 00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:03.300 of Christ's 00:28:03.300 --> 00:28:03.840 relationship 00:28:03.840 --> 00:28:04.320 to the 00:28:04.320 --> 00:28:04.759 church. 00:28:05.779 --> 00:28:06.420 It's a 00:28:06.420 --> 00:28:07.019 dance we 00:28:07.019 --> 00:28:07.320 get to 00:28:07.320 --> 00:28:07.660 dance, 00:28:07.779 --> 00:28:08.200 brothers and 00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:08.519 sisters. 00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:11.600 Some of 00:28:11.600 --> 00:28:12.240 us husbands, 00:28:12.560 --> 00:28:12.960 we are 00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:14.640 demonstrating 00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:15.360 Christ-like 00:28:15.360 --> 00:28:15.960 love and 00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:16.720 initiating with 00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:17.200 our wives in 00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:17.480 a certain 00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:17.960 way and 00:28:17.960 --> 00:28:18.960 our wives 00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:19.580 are demonstrating 00:28:19.580 --> 00:28:21.060 a church-like 00:28:21.060 --> 00:28:21.840 response. 00:28:23.560 --> 00:28:24.180 It's a 00:28:24.180 --> 00:28:24.500 beautiful 00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:24.960 dance. 00:28:26.259 --> 00:28:26.500 And when 00:28:26.500 --> 00:28:27.220 Jesus Christ 00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:27.640 is the 00:28:27.640 --> 00:28:27.980 functional 00:28:27.980 --> 00:28:29.279 center of 00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:29.940 a marriage, 00:28:29.940 --> 00:28:29.980 marriage, 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:31.940 this dance 00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:33.039 has a 00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:34.380 Christocentric 00:28:34.380 --> 00:28:35.519 resonance to 00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:35.779 it. 00:28:37.299 --> 00:28:38.140 The peace 00:28:38.140 --> 00:28:38.640 of Christ 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:39.580 ruling hearts, 00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:40.259 the word of 00:28:40.259 --> 00:28:40.980 Christ dwelling 00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:41.779 richly among 00:28:41.779 --> 00:28:42.259 them, 00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:43.920 and the name 00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:44.360 of Christ 00:28:44.360 --> 00:28:45.180 being exalted 00:28:45.180 --> 00:28:45.740 in all that 00:28:45.740 --> 00:28:46.180 they do. 00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:48.440 That's what 00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:48.740 we're being 00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:49.240 called to. 00:28:51.259 --> 00:28:52.140 Don't settle 00:28:52.140 --> 00:28:52.779 for less. 00:28:54.279 --> 00:28:54.559 Let's aim 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:55.019 for more. 00:28:57.240 --> 00:28:57.880 There's a 00:28:57.880 --> 00:28:58.420 qualification. 00:28:59.940 --> 00:29:01.519 to this 00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:02.519 wives, 00:29:02.820 --> 00:29:03.240 submit to 00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:03.880 your husbands 00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:05.360 as is 00:29:05.360 --> 00:29:05.799 fitting in 00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:06.240 the Lord. 00:29:09.320 --> 00:29:10.080 Christian 00:29:10.080 --> 00:29:10.480 wife, 00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:13.779 there is 00:29:13.779 --> 00:29:14.680 only one 00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:15.220 person in 00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:15.720 your life 00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:18.920 who has 00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:19.680 unconditional, 00:29:21.840 --> 00:29:22.400 unilateral, 00:29:25.500 --> 00:29:26.299 indefinite, 00:29:26.299 --> 00:29:30.139 authority over 00:29:30.139 --> 00:29:31.659 every aspect of 00:29:31.659 --> 00:29:32.119 your life. 00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:32.440 Do you know 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:32.940 who it is? 00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:34.619 It's not your 00:29:34.619 --> 00:29:34.879 husband. 00:29:36.399 --> 00:29:37.319 It's the Lord 00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:37.980 Jesus Christ. 00:29:40.019 --> 00:29:41.359 Your husband's 00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:42.259 authority is a 00:29:42.259 --> 00:29:43.139 derived authority 00:29:43.139 --> 00:29:43.619 from God 00:29:43.619 --> 00:29:44.659 himself, and he 00:29:44.659 --> 00:29:45.480 is to exercise 00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:46.740 that authority out 00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:47.539 of his responsibility 00:29:47.539 --> 00:29:49.619 for you, for 00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:50.379 your well-being 00:29:50.379 --> 00:29:52.579 in Christ. 00:29:52.579 --> 00:29:52.659 Christ. 00:29:53.859 --> 00:29:54.539 So here's 00:29:54.539 --> 00:29:54.819 what that 00:29:54.819 --> 00:29:55.139 means. 00:29:59.019 --> 00:29:59.500 Your 00:29:59.500 --> 00:29:59.859 willing 00:29:59.859 --> 00:30:00.559 submission to 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:01.139 your husband 00:30:01.139 --> 00:30:03.960 is a 00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:04.439 means to 00:30:04.439 --> 00:30:05.000 magnifying 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:05.500 Christ. 00:30:07.199 --> 00:30:07.859 It's for 00:30:07.859 --> 00:30:08.079 him. 00:30:09.740 --> 00:30:10.359 He's your 00:30:10.359 --> 00:30:10.779 new aim. 00:30:12.779 --> 00:30:13.279 Your 00:30:13.279 --> 00:30:14.159 husband must 00:30:14.159 --> 00:30:14.899 not take the 00:30:14.899 --> 00:30:15.519 place of Jesus 00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:16.139 Christ in your 00:30:16.139 --> 00:30:16.399 life. 00:30:16.980 --> 00:30:17.439 He can't. 00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:19.519 but you 00:30:19.519 --> 00:30:20.860 can follow 00:30:20.860 --> 00:30:22.240 him in a 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:23.420 way that is 00:30:23.420 --> 00:30:24.080 for Christ. 00:30:25.580 --> 00:30:26.380 He's seated 00:30:26.380 --> 00:30:26.860 in the 00:30:26.860 --> 00:30:27.380 heavenlies 00:30:27.380 --> 00:30:28.019 right now. 00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:29.980 Set your 00:30:29.980 --> 00:30:30.960 sights on 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:31.240 what is 00:30:31.240 --> 00:30:31.620 above. 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:35.140 Here's another 00:30:35.140 --> 00:30:35.680 thing that this 00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:36.380 means, this 00:30:36.380 --> 00:30:38.080 qualification as 00:30:38.080 --> 00:30:38.580 is fitting in 00:30:38.580 --> 00:30:38.900 the Lord. 00:30:40.820 --> 00:30:41.340 Sister, you 00:30:41.340 --> 00:30:42.100 willingly submit 00:30:42.100 --> 00:30:42.480 to your 00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:43.240 husband in 00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:44.460 so far as 00:30:44.460 --> 00:30:44.920 it pleases 00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:45.420 Christ. 00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:48.420 if your 00:30:48.420 --> 00:30:49.380 husband is 00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:50.400 demanding you 00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:50.900 to do 00:30:50.900 --> 00:30:51.940 something that 00:30:51.940 --> 00:30:52.800 grieves the 00:30:52.800 --> 00:30:53.820 Lord Jesus to 00:30:53.820 --> 00:30:54.519 lie in a tax 00:30:54.519 --> 00:30:56.300 form, to 00:30:56.300 --> 00:30:56.779 go rob a 00:30:56.779 --> 00:30:58.880 bank, you 00:30:58.880 --> 00:30:59.680 say no. 00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:02.100 With full 00:31:02.100 --> 00:31:02.880 authority knowing 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:03.320 it doesn't 00:31:03.320 --> 00:31:04.000 please Christ 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:04.440 and it's 00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:04.880 Christ who 00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:05.620 matters most. 00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:11.640 Now you 00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:12.120 may be able 00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:14.180 to have to 00:31:14.180 --> 00:31:14.640 say something 00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:15.240 like this, 00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:17.200 honey, I'm 00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:17.599 happy to 00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:18.140 follow you 00:31:18.140 --> 00:31:19.539 as long as 00:31:19.539 --> 00:31:19.980 Christ is 00:31:19.980 --> 00:31:20.640 exalted but 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:22.680 I will not 00:31:22.680 --> 00:31:23.240 lie for you. 00:31:24.980 --> 00:31:25.779 I will not 00:31:25.779 --> 00:31:26.339 deceive others 00:31:26.339 --> 00:31:26.700 for you. 00:31:27.700 --> 00:31:28.319 I can't. 00:31:30.140 --> 00:31:30.880 Jesus Christ 00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.240 is your 00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:31.880 ultimate Lord 00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:32.240 sister. 00:31:33.559 --> 00:31:33.980 Brothers, are 00:31:33.980 --> 00:31:34.319 you hearing 00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:34.579 me? 00:31:34.579 --> 00:31:34.680 Are you 00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:34.700 hearing me? 00:31:39.859 --> 00:31:40.539 Sister, here's 00:31:40.539 --> 00:31:40.960 something else 00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:41.380 this means. 00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:42.880 You're not 00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:44.579 trapped in 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.180 your husband 00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:48.620 has been 00:31:48.620 --> 00:31:49.779 given a 00:31:49.779 --> 00:31:50.460 God-given 00:31:50.460 --> 00:31:51.480 responsibility 00:31:51.480 --> 00:31:52.099 and authority 00:31:52.099 --> 00:31:52.599 for you, 00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:54.819 yes, but 00:31:54.819 --> 00:31:54.980 he's 00:31:54.980 --> 00:31:55.359 accountable. 00:31:57.120 --> 00:31:57.660 He's 00:31:57.660 --> 00:31:58.640 accountable to 00:31:58.640 --> 00:31:59.259 God himself 00:31:59.259 --> 00:32:01.400 and to the 00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:02.000 elders of our 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:02.319 church. 00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:02.379 church. 00:32:05.379 --> 00:32:06.019 We're not 00:32:06.019 --> 00:32:06.240 going to 00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:06.599 tolerate 00:32:06.599 --> 00:32:08.759 abuse in 00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:09.099 Christ the 00:32:09.099 --> 00:32:09.240 King 00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:09.579 church. 00:32:10.339 --> 00:32:10.919 You know 00:32:10.919 --> 00:32:11.179 why? 00:32:11.480 --> 00:32:11.879 It's not 00:32:11.879 --> 00:32:12.439 Christ-like. 00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:17.319 In all of 00:32:17.319 --> 00:32:17.799 this, I would 00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:18.500 say one thing, 00:32:18.619 --> 00:32:18.919 sisters. 00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:22.039 Don't grab 00:32:22.039 --> 00:32:22.519 the reins. 00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:25.159 Let your 00:32:25.159 --> 00:32:25.720 husband lead. 00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:28.419 With all this 00:32:28.419 --> 00:32:29.059 said, let your 00:32:29.059 --> 00:32:29.619 husband lead. 00:32:29.619 --> 00:32:31.299 In fact, 00:32:31.879 --> 00:32:32.619 encourage him. 00:32:34.199 --> 00:32:34.779 Say, you go 00:32:34.779 --> 00:32:35.159 brother. 00:32:36.219 --> 00:32:36.859 Lead us unto 00:32:36.859 --> 00:32:37.419 Christ. 00:32:38.719 --> 00:32:39.399 How can I 00:32:39.399 --> 00:32:39.639 help? 00:32:41.819 --> 00:32:42.599 Now you may be 00:32:42.599 --> 00:32:43.079 asking this 00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:43.599 question, what 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:44.299 if I'm married 00:32:44.299 --> 00:32:44.599 to an 00:32:44.599 --> 00:32:45.199 unbeliever? 00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:47.619 Non-Christian. 00:32:47.739 --> 00:32:47.899 Do you know 00:32:47.899 --> 00:32:48.259 what you do? 00:32:49.339 --> 00:32:50.439 You submit to 00:32:50.439 --> 00:32:51.159 your non-Christian 00:32:51.159 --> 00:32:52.179 husband in what 00:32:52.179 --> 00:32:53.319 you can as unto 00:32:53.319 --> 00:32:53.859 the Lord. 00:32:57.479 --> 00:32:58.179 And look at 00:32:58.179 --> 00:32:58.879 1 Peter 3. 00:32:59.619 --> 00:33:03.219 Now, if 00:33:03.219 --> 00:33:03.479 you're a 00:33:03.479 --> 00:33:03.959 sister in the 00:33:03.959 --> 00:33:04.359 room who's 00:33:04.359 --> 00:33:04.919 married and 00:33:04.919 --> 00:33:05.919 you sense God 00:33:05.919 --> 00:33:06.679 addressing you and 00:33:06.679 --> 00:33:07.159 now you're asking 00:33:07.159 --> 00:33:07.719 the question, what 00:33:07.719 --> 00:33:08.439 do I do, Mike? 00:33:08.799 --> 00:33:09.299 How do I 00:33:09.299 --> 00:33:09.799 respond? 00:33:10.619 --> 00:33:10.759 Do you 00:33:10.759 --> 00:33:11.199 remember what I 00:33:11.199 --> 00:33:11.699 told the 00:33:11.699 --> 00:33:11.979 husbands? 00:33:13.659 --> 00:33:14.599 Treasure Christ 00:33:14.599 --> 00:33:15.699 above all else. 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:18.139 Make him central 00:33:18.139 --> 00:33:18.879 to all that you 00:33:18.879 --> 00:33:20.339 are and walk in a 00:33:20.339 --> 00:33:22.000 manner worthy of 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.099 the Lord and what 00:33:23.099 --> 00:33:23.859 he's called you to 00:33:23.859 --> 00:33:24.539 as a wife. 00:33:26.459 --> 00:33:26.959 And then we 00:33:26.959 --> 00:33:28.479 bring in this 00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:29.240 Christ-like 00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:31.759 wardrobe into 00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:33.259 our marriages. 00:33:35.620 --> 00:33:36.559 Which now brings 00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:40.019 me to the 00:33:40.019 --> 00:33:40.640 call to the 00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:41.339 dance floor. 00:33:45.579 --> 00:33:46.360 Next month, I 00:33:46.360 --> 00:33:47.019 told you this last 00:33:47.019 --> 00:33:47.440 week, the 00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:48.059 Salvati's are 00:33:48.059 --> 00:33:48.599 heading out to 00:33:48.599 --> 00:33:49.660 Iowa City, Iowa. 00:33:51.019 --> 00:33:51.940 I don't think we 00:33:51.940 --> 00:33:52.700 would go there for 00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:53.539 any other reason 00:33:53.539 --> 00:33:55.980 other than my 00:33:55.980 --> 00:33:56.480 nephews getting 00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:56.799 married. 00:33:58.240 --> 00:33:59.119 And I know what 00:33:59.119 --> 00:33:59.500 awaits. 00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:02.819 What awaits in 00:34:02.819 --> 00:34:03.720 Iowa City is a 00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:04.240 dance floor. 00:34:05.879 --> 00:34:06.659 And I'm planning 00:34:06.659 --> 00:34:07.319 on bringing Jenny 00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:07.960 out on the dance 00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:08.179 floor. 00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:11.019 I'm going to draw 00:34:11.019 --> 00:34:11.800 her close and 00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:12.179 we're going to 00:34:12.179 --> 00:34:16.059 lead her as the 00:34:16.059 --> 00:34:16.940 music plays and 00:34:16.940 --> 00:34:17.259 we're going to 00:34:17.259 --> 00:34:17.800 work together. 00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:19.119 I am a lousy 00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:19.440 dancer. 00:34:20.039 --> 00:34:20.960 I am a boring 00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:21.340 dancer. 00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:22.279 I know that's 00:34:22.279 --> 00:34:22.719 hard to believe. 00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:23.139 It's true. 00:34:24.859 --> 00:34:25.739 Here's the 00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:26.399 mistake I make. 00:34:27.579 --> 00:34:28.419 I just start 00:34:28.419 --> 00:34:29.059 doing a circle 00:34:29.059 --> 00:34:29.419 move. 00:34:33.359 --> 00:34:34.099 I think I'm 00:34:34.099 --> 00:34:34.739 doing pretty good 00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:35.399 and then Jenny's 00:34:35.399 --> 00:34:36.219 like, oh. 00:34:42.879 --> 00:34:44.059 I also step on 00:34:44.059 --> 00:34:44.639 Jenny's toes. 00:34:48.879 --> 00:34:49.699 And I love it 00:34:49.699 --> 00:34:50.619 when she tells me, 00:34:51.699 --> 00:34:52.299 Mike, you're 00:34:52.300 --> 00:34:52.980 dancing in circles. 00:34:53.220 --> 00:34:53.440 Okay. 00:34:55.500 --> 00:34:55.960 Mike, you're 00:34:55.960 --> 00:34:56.420 stepping on my 00:34:56.420 --> 00:34:56.539 toes. 00:34:56.620 --> 00:34:57.019 Oh, I'm sorry, 00:34:57.100 --> 00:34:57.300 sorry. 00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:04.180 Brothers, take 00:35:04.180 --> 00:35:05.920 your wives out on 00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:06.580 the dance floor. 00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:10.180 Dance, brother. 00:35:11.320 --> 00:35:12.360 Bring them out. 00:35:13.160 --> 00:35:13.820 Lead them. 00:35:14.100 --> 00:35:14.620 It's okay you 00:35:14.620 --> 00:35:15.260 dance in circles. 00:35:15.340 --> 00:35:15.840 She'll tell you. 00:35:15.900 --> 00:35:16.320 It's okay you 00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:17.100 dance on her toes. 00:35:17.220 --> 00:35:17.780 Dance on her toes. 00:35:17.780 --> 00:35:18.460 She'll let you 00:35:18.460 --> 00:35:18.740 know. 00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:21.460 But better that 00:35:21.460 --> 00:35:22.680 than do nothing. 00:35:24.200 --> 00:35:25.000 So let me give you 00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:25.620 five steps. 00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:26.140 You ready? 00:35:27.940 --> 00:35:28.380 Christocentric 00:35:28.380 --> 00:35:31.080 resonantial dance moves. 00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:33.920 The first three 00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:36.519 happens before you 00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:37.300 even greet your wife 00:35:37.300 --> 00:35:37.780 in the morning 00:35:37.780 --> 00:35:39.620 and wife before you 00:35:39.620 --> 00:35:40.220 greet your husband. 00:35:41.740 --> 00:35:42.700 Move number one. 00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:45.040 Treasure Christ 00:35:45.040 --> 00:35:45.780 above all else. 00:35:45.780 --> 00:35:48.060 every day. 00:35:50.120 --> 00:35:50.940 Seek him. 00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:52.060 Behold him. 00:35:52.380 --> 00:35:53.200 And your beholding 00:35:53.200 --> 00:35:53.820 of him become 00:35:53.820 --> 00:35:54.660 like him. 00:35:55.160 --> 00:35:56.440 Put off the old 00:35:56.440 --> 00:35:57.040 grave clothes. 00:35:57.200 --> 00:35:58.480 Put on Christ 00:35:58.480 --> 00:35:59.040 like this. 00:35:59.420 --> 00:36:00.240 That's where we 00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:00.580 start. 00:36:01.040 --> 00:36:01.860 Treasure Jesus 00:36:01.860 --> 00:36:03.000 more than yourself, 00:36:03.320 --> 00:36:03.800 more than your 00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:04.220 spouse. 00:36:04.920 --> 00:36:05.840 It will go well 00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:06.640 with your marriage. 00:36:08.140 --> 00:36:09.280 Second, this is 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:09.840 before you get out 00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:10.420 on the dance floor. 00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:12.040 Kind of warming up. 00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:14.980 Thank God. 00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:17.219 Thank God for your 00:36:17.219 --> 00:36:17.699 spouse. 00:36:18.779 --> 00:36:19.699 Thank God for this 00:36:19.699 --> 00:36:20.599 calling on you. 00:36:21.179 --> 00:36:21.920 Thank God for your 00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:22.320 marriage. 00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:24.460 When you are 00:36:24.460 --> 00:36:25.279 thanking God for 00:36:25.279 --> 00:36:25.759 these things, 00:36:25.860 --> 00:36:26.420 there's this 00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:27.320 goodness. 00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:29.059 It's this 00:36:29.059 --> 00:36:31.320 graciousness 00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:32.539 that brings into, 00:36:32.659 --> 00:36:33.460 God brings into a 00:36:33.460 --> 00:36:33.900 marriage. 00:36:35.059 --> 00:36:35.779 God, thank you so 00:36:35.779 --> 00:36:36.420 much for Jenny. 00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:37.340 Thank you, God, 00:36:37.380 --> 00:36:38.519 for calling me to be 00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:39.000 her husband. 00:36:39.460 --> 00:36:40.099 Thank you for the 00:36:40.099 --> 00:36:41.079 responsibility you've 00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:41.579 given me. 00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:42.639 Thank you, God, 00:36:42.699 --> 00:36:43.539 for this marriage. 00:36:47.219 --> 00:36:47.699 Third, 00:36:49.699 --> 00:36:51.119 ask God for help. 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:54.880 For yourself first, 00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:57.319 before your spouse. 00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:02.639 God, would you 00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:04.940 please, please help 00:37:04.940 --> 00:37:07.539 me lead Jenny in 00:37:07.539 --> 00:37:08.739 such a way that 00:37:08.739 --> 00:37:10.000 Christ is exalted. 00:37:10.099 --> 00:37:10.980 Help me to lead 00:37:10.980 --> 00:37:11.799 her to you, 00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:12.420 Lord Jesus, 00:37:12.699 --> 00:37:13.559 that she would 00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:14.480 treasure you more. 00:37:15.099 --> 00:37:15.559 And then you start 00:37:15.559 --> 00:37:16.239 asking questions. 00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:17.420 God, would you 00:37:17.420 --> 00:37:17.960 show me if I'm 00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:18.699 being irresponsible? 00:37:19.099 --> 00:37:19.699 Would you show me 00:37:19.699 --> 00:37:20.539 if I'm being harsh? 00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:22.179 Would you show me 00:37:22.179 --> 00:37:23.319 if I'm hiding out 00:37:23.319 --> 00:37:25.099 so that I can step 00:37:25.099 --> 00:37:26.199 back in for the 00:37:26.199 --> 00:37:26.960 glory of your name? 00:37:30.219 --> 00:37:31.119 And then I'll pray, 00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:32.159 oh, God, help 00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:33.219 Jenny follow me 00:37:33.219 --> 00:37:37.219 as is fitting to you. 00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:39.299 That's just for 00:37:39.299 --> 00:37:39.880 husbands, wives. 00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:40.360 We're praying 00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:41.660 something similar. 00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:43.400 And so what we're 00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:44.220 doing here is we're 00:37:44.220 --> 00:37:45.160 getting ready to step 00:37:45.160 --> 00:37:45.820 out on the dance 00:37:45.820 --> 00:37:46.059 floor. 00:37:46.180 --> 00:37:47.140 So now number four, 00:37:48.140 --> 00:37:50.780 this is how you can 00:37:50.780 --> 00:37:53.360 actually play it out, 00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:54.559 dance it out. 00:37:54.700 --> 00:37:57.160 Husbands, I want to 00:37:57.160 --> 00:37:57.960 help you think about 00:37:57.960 --> 00:37:58.780 leading your wives 00:37:58.780 --> 00:37:59.800 conversationally. 00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:01.119 And here's what that 00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:01.599 looks like. 00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:02.960 This looks like taking 00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:03.820 her on the dance floor 00:38:03.820 --> 00:38:04.680 and you're going to 00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:05.619 lead her in a certain 00:38:05.619 --> 00:38:05.900 way. 00:38:06.140 --> 00:38:06.680 It's going to be 00:38:06.680 --> 00:38:07.480 conversational. 00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:08.880 Here's what you do. 00:38:09.320 --> 00:38:10.340 First, one of the 00:38:10.340 --> 00:38:10.860 things you can raise 00:38:10.860 --> 00:38:12.179 with her is, you're 00:38:12.179 --> 00:38:12.579 like on the dance 00:38:12.579 --> 00:38:12.699 floor. 00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:14.719 Honey, how are we 00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:14.920 doing? 00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:16.920 Are we at peace? 00:38:19.559 --> 00:38:20.719 You're treasuring Jesus. 00:38:21.300 --> 00:38:22.240 You're thanking God. 00:38:22.340 --> 00:38:23.000 You're asking for help. 00:38:23.260 --> 00:38:23.900 Are we at peace, 00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:24.159 sweetheart? 00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:26.219 And if she says no, 00:38:26.699 --> 00:38:27.780 you're dancing. 00:38:29.159 --> 00:38:29.699 You just didn't, 00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:31.679 you're no longer, 00:38:32.639 --> 00:38:33.139 it's not like you're 00:38:33.139 --> 00:38:33.679 not dancing. 00:38:33.759 --> 00:38:34.480 Now you're dancing 00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:35.419 because you're going 00:38:35.419 --> 00:38:36.139 to make peace. 00:38:36.919 --> 00:38:37.579 You're going to forgive 00:38:37.579 --> 00:38:38.359 one another as God 00:38:38.359 --> 00:38:39.259 and Christ forgave you. 00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:40.719 You work it out. 00:38:41.319 --> 00:38:41.859 That's part of the 00:38:41.859 --> 00:38:42.279 dance. 00:38:46.019 --> 00:38:47.099 Or maybe you ask a 00:38:47.099 --> 00:38:48.119 spiritual question like, 00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:49.939 honey, how are you 00:38:49.939 --> 00:38:50.139 doing? 00:38:50.500 --> 00:38:51.119 What are you reading 00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:51.519 in your Bible? 00:38:51.859 --> 00:38:52.759 Can you share it with 00:38:52.759 --> 00:38:52.919 me? 00:38:54.139 --> 00:38:55.139 What's God teaching you? 00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:56.960 How's he growing you? 00:38:57.419 --> 00:38:58.919 Are you being tempted 00:38:58.920 --> 00:38:59.320 anywhere? 00:38:59.480 --> 00:38:59.980 Are you struggling 00:38:59.980 --> 00:39:00.519 with anything? 00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:01.780 You will know your 00:39:01.780 --> 00:39:02.519 wife well enough to 00:39:02.519 --> 00:39:03.159 know what she struggles 00:39:03.159 --> 00:39:03.440 with. 00:39:04.059 --> 00:39:05.019 Ask her about it. 00:39:08.380 --> 00:39:09.340 And sisters, when he 00:39:09.340 --> 00:39:12.039 does, be honest, 00:39:13.099 --> 00:39:14.500 lovingly, kindly, 00:39:15.139 --> 00:39:16.000 humbly honest. 00:39:22.039 --> 00:39:22.860 Brothers, one of the 00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:23.780 most important things 00:39:23.780 --> 00:39:25.800 here is a principle 00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:29.320 of integrity. 00:39:31.720 --> 00:39:32.700 You don't want to be 00:39:32.700 --> 00:39:34.080 asking your wife about 00:39:34.080 --> 00:39:35.140 her spiritual life 00:39:35.140 --> 00:39:36.539 without tending to 00:39:36.539 --> 00:39:37.000 your own. 00:39:38.860 --> 00:39:40.420 And so, ask her these 00:39:40.420 --> 00:39:43.220 questions having been 00:39:43.220 --> 00:39:44.380 pursuant of Jesus 00:39:44.380 --> 00:39:44.920 yourself. 00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:50.280 Brothers, you can take 00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:50.820 another step. 00:39:51.600 --> 00:39:52.760 You can be leading her 00:39:52.760 --> 00:39:53.660 in a step like this. 00:39:53.980 --> 00:39:55.300 Sweetheart, hey, how 00:39:55.300 --> 00:39:56.800 can we use more of our 00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:58.060 financial resources to 00:39:58.060 --> 00:39:58.800 advance the kingdom? 00:40:00.280 --> 00:40:02.780 And if she says, you 00:40:02.780 --> 00:40:07.880 can stop gambling, you 00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:08.960 need to receive it as, oh, 00:40:09.020 --> 00:40:09.620 thank you, sweetheart. 00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:11.180 Totally right. 00:40:12.020 --> 00:40:13.080 This is you leading, 00:40:13.960 --> 00:40:14.920 opening yourself up. 00:40:15.140 --> 00:40:16.380 When you ask these kinds 00:40:16.380 --> 00:40:17.360 of questions and start 00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:17.960 these kinds of 00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:19.440 conversations, you're 00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:20.720 obligating yourself to 00:40:20.720 --> 00:40:21.480 follow through on it, 00:40:21.520 --> 00:40:21.720 brothers. 00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:23.299 That's why guys hide 00:40:23.299 --> 00:40:24.119 from these kinds of 00:40:24.119 --> 00:40:24.500 things. 00:40:25.899 --> 00:40:26.839 Step in. 00:40:28.059 --> 00:40:29.179 Be willing to follow 00:40:29.179 --> 00:40:29.599 through. 00:40:30.939 --> 00:40:31.859 There's more we can say. 00:40:31.939 --> 00:40:32.559 I'm out of time. 00:40:33.739 --> 00:40:35.939 But number five, dance 00:40:35.939 --> 00:40:36.439 camp. 00:40:38.939 --> 00:40:41.839 The Tipmans, they have a 00:40:41.839 --> 00:40:43.259 ministry called Family 00:40:43.259 --> 00:40:44.339 Life, and they put on 00:40:44.339 --> 00:40:46.239 these weekend conferences 00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:47.239 called Weekends to 00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:47.659 Remember. 00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:49.179 It's a marriage dance 00:40:49.179 --> 00:40:49.519 camp. 00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:52.300 And the next one that's 00:40:52.300 --> 00:40:53.539 coming up that you 00:40:53.539 --> 00:40:54.500 should know about is in 00:40:54.500 --> 00:40:54.900 Madison. 00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:56.840 It's next year, March 00:40:56.840 --> 00:40:59.079 3rd, March 14th through 00:40:59.079 --> 00:40:59.940 the 16th. 00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:01.239 I think we should go to 00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:02.119 dance camp together, 00:41:02.380 --> 00:41:03.099 brothers and sisters. 00:41:08.039 --> 00:41:08.980 Christian marriage is 00:41:08.980 --> 00:41:09.599 like a dance. 00:41:11.300 --> 00:41:12.400 Between a Christian 00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:13.519 husband and a Christian 00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:16.559 wife, the husband is 00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:17.980 lovingly leading, the wife 00:41:17.980 --> 00:41:21.139 is wisely following with 00:41:21.139 --> 00:41:22.119 Christ as their 00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:22.980 controlling center. 00:41:23.139 --> 00:41:23.639 And you know what the 00:41:23.639 --> 00:41:24.300 result is? 00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:26.000 Christocentric 00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:26.440 resonance. 00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:27.920 Peace. 00:41:29.179 --> 00:41:30.260 The word of Christ, the 00:41:30.260 --> 00:41:32.400 name of Christ, ruling. 00:41:34.119 --> 00:41:35.320 Marriage becomes a living 00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:36.780 parable of the relationship 00:41:36.780 --> 00:41:37.800 between Christ and the 00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:38.099 church. 00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:39.820 It's a great place to 00:41:39.820 --> 00:41:40.420 raise children. 00:41:40.420 --> 00:41:41.420 marriage. 00:41:41.420 --> 00:41:50.460 Marriage is why we've come 00:41:50.460 --> 00:41:51.800 together today. 00:41:53.260 --> 00:41:54.260 It's not. 00:41:55.900 --> 00:41:56.940 Christ is. 00:41:59.119 --> 00:42:00.559 And Christ must be the 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:01.960 controlling center of our 00:42:01.960 --> 00:42:02.380 marriages. 00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:03.880 Do I have an amen? 00:42:05.460 --> 00:42:06.500 Let me pray. 00:42:06.500 --> 00:42:06.539 Amen. 00:42:06.539 --> 00:42:06.599 Amen. 00:42:06.599 --> 00:42:06.639 Amen. 00:42:06.639 --> 00:42:06.659 Amen. 00:42:06.659 --> 00:42:06.720 Amen. 00:42:06.720 --> 00:42:06.740 Amen. 00:42:06.740 --> 00:42:06.800 Amen. 00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:06.820 Amen. 00:42:06.820 --> 00:42:06.860 Amen. 00:42:06.860 --> 00:42:06.880 Amen. 00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:06.900 Amen. 00:42:06.900 --> 00:42:10.400 Amen. 00:42:10.420 --> 00:42:11.519 Lord, help us. 00:42:13.780 --> 00:42:16.000 We are men and women, yes, 00:42:16.300 --> 00:42:18.139 redeemed by your blood, yes, 00:42:18.340 --> 00:42:20.180 filled by your spirit, yes, 00:42:20.680 --> 00:42:22.880 we delight in your word, and 00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:24.119 yes, we need help. 00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:26.380 We need help, Lord. 00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:29.260 Give us strength. 00:42:29.619 --> 00:42:30.360 Give us wisdom. 00:42:31.099 --> 00:42:32.940 I pray for the husbands of 00:42:32.940 --> 00:42:35.619 our church that they would 00:42:35.619 --> 00:42:37.380 delight in the responsibility 00:42:37.380 --> 00:42:38.280 you've given them. 00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:39.559 They would delight in it. 00:42:40.420 --> 00:42:42.460 And love their wives as you, 00:42:42.539 --> 00:42:43.559 Lord Jesus, has loved your 00:42:43.559 --> 00:42:43.940 church. 00:42:44.280 --> 00:42:46.400 And I pray for the wives of 00:42:46.400 --> 00:42:48.240 our church that they would 00:42:48.240 --> 00:42:51.500 gladly come under the loving 00:42:51.500 --> 00:42:52.639 leadership of their husbands. 00:42:54.599 --> 00:42:57.240 All for the glory of your name, 00:42:57.340 --> 00:42:57.539 Jesus. 00:42:58.820 --> 00:42:59.099 Amen. 00:42:59.099 --> 00:42:59.220 Amen. 00:42:59.220 --> 00:42:59.280 Amen. 00:42:59.280 --> 00:42:59.320 Amen. 00:42:59.320 --> 00:42:59.340 Amen. 00:42:59.340 --> 00:42:59.360 Amen. 00:42:59.360 --> 00:42:59.420 Amen. 00:42:59.420 --> 00:42:59.440 Amen. 00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:01.360 Amen. 00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:01.380 Amen. 00:43:01.380 --> 00:43:03.360 Amen. 00:43:03.360 --> 00:43:03.519 Amen. 00:43:03.519 --> 00:43:03.559 Amen. 00:43:03.559 --> 00:43:03.579 Amen. 00:43:03.579 --> 00:43:03.599 Amen. 00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:05.519 Amen. 00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:05.599 Amen. 00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:07.539 Amen. 00:43:07.539 --> 00:43:07.599 Amen. 00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:07.659 Amen. 00:43:07.659 --> 00:43:07.700 Amen. 00:43:07.700 --> 00:43:09.659 Amen. 00:43:09.659 --> 00:43:10.400 Amen.