WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.960
 Thank you, Alex.

00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:11.880
 Sorry, actually, last week I started sharing, and it was about fair weather men, right?

00:00:11.939 --> 00:00:18.600
! I said there's something about the faith that if we truly believe what we say we believe,

00:00:18.600 --> 00:00:22.339
! then we should be built different. There should be something different about the way we go about life.

00:00:22.339 --> 00:00:26.679
 And of course, I didn't know the Lord was going to give me an opportunity to exercise that.

00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:35.079
 And actually, if I'm honest, just before Alex and Cara and Dari came, I had a low moment.

00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:40.079
 I was like, man, this is it. I can't play in the NBA anymore.

00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:45.359
 Like, at least not this season, but maybe next season.

00:00:47.939 --> 00:00:52.879
 And actually, I'd got off the bed because, again, I was a troublemaker to the nurses, by the way.

00:00:53.100 --> 00:00:56.100
 If there's ever any nurses, I apologise. I don't repent.

00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:59.460
 Because I couldn't sit still.

00:01:00.219 --> 00:01:02.820
 And they needed me to do my business in the bed.

00:01:03.200 --> 00:01:05.480
 And I did not want to do my business in the bed.

00:01:06.120 --> 00:01:08.379
 So as they snuck off, I, like, hobbled.

00:01:08.539 --> 00:01:10.519
 And I was like, I want to get to the toilet before you can catch me.

00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:13.879
 And I hope I don't die in the process.

00:01:16.379 --> 00:01:18.500
 But actually, I got off the bed because I was just...

00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:21.939
 I actually knelt down. I was like, Lord, what is it that you want to teach me in this?

00:01:21.939 --> 00:01:25.599
 What is it that is pleasing to you?

00:01:26.219 --> 00:01:27.500
 How I go about this?

00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:32.319
 If I truly am different, set apart, built different, what does that actually mean?

00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:33.200
 What does that look like?

00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:37.799
 And I was in 2 Corinthians 4, and he talks about these jars of clay.

00:01:38.479 --> 00:01:42.620
 Like, we are jars of clay, which are common household items back then, but brittle.

00:01:42.819 --> 00:01:44.200
 And if you dropped it, it would smash.

00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:47.260
 But the whole point of it is that...

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 And there was just this...

00:01:49.340 --> 00:01:50.719
 Of course, there's the encouraging part, which says,

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 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed.

00:01:52.859 --> 00:01:54.340
 Perplexed, but not driven to despair.

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 Persecuted, but not forsaken.

00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:57.600
 Struck down, but not destroyed.

00:01:58.120 --> 00:02:01.240
 Always carrying in the body the death of Jesus,

00:02:01.520 --> 00:02:05.920
 so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

00:02:06.920 --> 00:02:11.420
 In me, I'm carrying the death of Jesus,

00:02:11.419 --> 00:02:16.979
 but also then the life of Jesus that is displayed through this.

00:02:17.939 --> 00:02:20.359
 And then later, it's the passage that is one of my favorites.

00:02:20.519 --> 00:02:20.739
 It says,

00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:24.579
 So we do not lose heart, for our outer selves may be wasting away,

00:02:24.679 --> 00:02:27.259
 but our inner selves are being renewed day by day,

00:02:27.459 --> 00:02:30.519
 so that the light momentary afflictions that we're experiencing now

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 are nothing compared to the eternal weight of glory that awaits us.

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 And I was like, man, that's it, Lord.

00:02:36.979 --> 00:02:38.739
 There's something that you want to show me here.

00:02:39.539 --> 00:02:41.000
 There's something about this time.

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 I'm going to look back on it and go,

00:02:42.020 --> 00:02:43.520
 I'm not going to regret this at all.

00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:45.060
 In fact, I'm not going to change it for the world.

00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:46.280
 And I've told you this before.

00:02:46.539 --> 00:02:48.599
 My hospital visits, and it's not my first rodeo.

00:02:48.659 --> 00:02:50.719
 I've been in plenty of hospital moments.

00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:52.560
 They've always been my favorite ones,

00:02:52.580 --> 00:02:54.520
 because at some point, I get my act together.

00:02:54.659 --> 00:02:56.379
 I change my mindset, and I realize, man,

00:02:56.659 --> 00:02:58.759
 this is what it means to be human.

00:02:59.780 --> 00:03:03.000
 This is what reliving truly is.

00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:06.960
 And actually, my daughter reminded me of 2 Corinthians 5, 7.

00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:10.879
 You know, for we walk by faith and not by sight or by might.

00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:15.939
 And I realize we can't walk a step without God at all anyway.

00:03:16.980 --> 00:03:19.120
 And so for me, that's been the encouragement.

00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:23.200
 And so I feel as though, man, I can't have a fair-weathered kind of faith,

00:03:23.900 --> 00:03:25.700
 because that's not really a kind of faith.

00:03:26.379 --> 00:03:28.560
 But maybe just to tie into what we're going to be talking about today,

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 the reason why I don't think I have a fair-weathered kind of faith by the grace of God,

00:03:32.599 --> 00:03:35.560
 and it's his gift, is also because I don't have fair-weathered friends.

00:03:36.919 --> 00:03:38.400
 Because we're going to talk about friends today.

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 And I even just look back on this week.

00:03:41.060 --> 00:03:45.379
 From the moment it happened last Sunday, when I dunked on that guy,

00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:51.019
 and then to the Monday morning, I went to go find Wes,

00:03:51.180 --> 00:03:52.519
 who offered me his expertise.

00:03:52.699 --> 00:03:55.719
 And well, because I was hoping Wes would tell me that everything was going to be okay,

00:03:55.900 --> 00:03:59.379
 and he'd do a little Jesus thing, and maybe he'll heal.

00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:00.979
 But he's like, no, dude, you've got to go see a doctor.

00:04:02.599 --> 00:04:05.879
 And then we called Lusanda, who's an orthopedist.

00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:09.680
 She was like, because I was supposed to go on a trip with Aaron to Cambodia on Tuesdays.

00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:10.900
 I was like, Lusanda, can I still go?

00:04:11.599 --> 00:04:14.879
 She was like, Pastor James, you should not go.

00:04:16.159 --> 00:04:20.579
 Anyway, I go to the doctors, and I asked the doctor, can I still go?

00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:22.459
 And maybe we'll come back and do the stuff afterwards.

00:04:22.819 --> 00:04:25.819
 He's like, forget Cambodia, you're not going home, you're staying here.

00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:31.019
 I was like, oh, oh, so no, what about the airport?

00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:35.120
 I don't have fair-weathered friends.

00:04:35.280 --> 00:04:37.100
 After that, I had Jay and Emily.

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 They came and dropped off things, a jacket and some macadamia.

00:04:41.420 --> 00:04:42.500
 No, that was you, Teresa.

00:04:43.340 --> 00:04:45.400
 And Trevor, Terrence.

00:04:46.400 --> 00:04:47.100
 Hi, Terrence.

00:04:48.520 --> 00:04:50.100
 I'm on some pretty heavy meds.

00:04:52.680 --> 00:04:54.920
 But no, don't worry, Trevor, she did not come with Terrence.

00:04:54.920 --> 00:05:02.259
 But man, no fair-weathered friends here.

00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:03.800
 You know what Trevor did?

00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:06.360
 He had annual leave, he had Wednesday, Thursday, Friday half.

00:05:06.740 --> 00:05:12.939
 Every morning, he drove to my house to pick up my kids at 7am to take them to school in

00:05:12.939 --> 00:05:15.460
 Laiji Kok, and then drive back home again.

00:05:16.540 --> 00:05:19.319
 And still had the energy to go to Shenzhen for a massage afterwards.

00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:24.519
 No fair way through.

00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:25.719
 I had Dr. Alex come.

00:05:25.779 --> 00:05:28.379
 So I wasn't allowed down to the canteen.

00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:33.180
 And if you've heard that the hospital canteen is pretty famous for its high-lam gay van.

00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.899
 But it wasn't delivering up to my room.

00:05:36.180 --> 00:05:38.399
 And I was like, well, the nurses, can I go down?

00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:40.180
 She's like, that's a stupid question.

00:05:40.180 --> 00:05:45.920
 But then, but then, Dr. Alex comes to visit.

00:05:46.699 --> 00:05:51.480
 And Dr. Alex, who's actually a big deal in the hospital, I was surprised by that, if I'm honest.

00:05:52.699 --> 00:05:54.120
 They were like, oh, Dr. Alex, Dr. Alex.

00:05:54.139 --> 00:05:55.620
 I was like, oh, they know you, Dr. Alex.

00:05:55.819 --> 00:05:57.319
 Can you take me down to the canteen?

00:05:58.340 --> 00:05:59.780
 And he was like, no problem.

00:05:59.980 --> 00:06:02.620
 He got a wheelchair and he pushed me down to the canteen.

00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:05.740
 No fair-weathered friends here.

00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:07.280
 No fair-weathered friends.

00:06:08.060 --> 00:06:08.840
 Just blessed.

00:06:10.180 --> 00:06:12.459
 And it made me experience a little bit.

00:06:12.540 --> 00:06:14.959
 And maybe that's what the Lord had in store for me, a little bit.

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:16.819
 I think there's loads more that I still need to download.

00:06:17.840 --> 00:06:19.600
 But that's what a community should be.

00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:23.920
 And I remember when our friend and their child got sick.

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 And suddenly there's people around going, how can we help?

00:06:27.420 --> 00:06:29.079
 Because we're not here just for the fair weather.

00:06:29.180 --> 00:06:31.960
 We're not just here for the beach volleyball when it's sunny.

00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:34.120
 We're here to go and play when it's raining.

00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:37.460
 We're here to just, we're here with you.

00:06:37.459 --> 00:06:40.359
 Do we have those kind of friends?

00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:44.719
 And I think that's something that I'm learning and experiencing myself.

00:06:45.659 --> 00:06:51.139
 And as we talk about when we gather for a relationship, first and foremost is we gather for friendship.

00:06:51.279 --> 00:06:58.039
 We talked about last week the Live to 100 show or the old ladies that Jojo goes to Yamcha with now because she's a ripe old age.

00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:02.819
 Why do people live to 100?

00:07:03.200 --> 00:07:04.900
 It's because they have community.

00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:06.540
 And what is community really?

00:07:07.100 --> 00:07:08.000
 It's friends.

00:07:09.020 --> 00:07:10.000
 It's friends.

00:07:11.080 --> 00:07:17.220
 It's friends who will be there with you through all the times because we can't do life alone.

00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:22.900
 African theologian St. Augustine says this,

00:07:22.899 --> 00:07:43.719
 Friendship is one of those interesting things that I think we don't put that much value on anymore.

00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:48.240
 And it's probably Facebook's fault because now Facebook has told you what a friend is.

00:07:48.620 --> 00:07:52.280
 A friend is someone who unfollows you on Facebook so they don't get to see your news anymore.

00:07:53.340 --> 00:07:56.720
 But every now and again they may give you a little like and that's it.

00:07:56.780 --> 00:08:00.620
 But we have completely undersold what friendship truly, truly is.

00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:04.920
 C.S. Lewis, and I'll tell you a little bit about his friendship that he had that still inspires me.

00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:05.960
 He says this,

00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:22.539
 Friends, I think we need friendship more than anything in this day and age.

00:08:23.060 --> 00:08:26.859
 In this day and age where everything's private and COVID kind of highlighted all of this.

00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:28.859
 Everything's individualistic.

00:08:29.879 --> 00:08:33.199
 What we think our friends are actually just acquaintances.

00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:38.560
 What we think our brothers and sisters are actually just acquaintances and connections.

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 When we say we're making friends, we're actually just networking.

00:08:42.700 --> 00:08:47.920
 We're actually just trying to find people who when we need something from, we can get something from.

00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:51.400
 That's not the kind of friendship that we're talking about.

00:08:51.440 --> 00:08:55.480
 Because actually one of the biggest problems in the whole world right now is the loneliness epidemic.

00:08:56.640 --> 00:08:59.200
 Apparently over half the people that did a study on this in America,

00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:05.300
 Over half the people in the United States would say that they do not have three friends or more.

00:09:06.500 --> 00:09:11.000
 Just three friends that you can count on to talk about, to share about anything with.

00:09:12.920 --> 00:09:14.300
 This life is hard.

00:09:15.180 --> 00:09:15.920
 It's long.

00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:17.560
 But we do not lose heart.

00:09:17.879 --> 00:09:19.300
 Our outer selves are wasting away.

00:09:20.040 --> 00:09:21.940
 Because our inner selves are being renewed day by day.

00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:22.600
 How do we do that?

00:09:22.920 --> 00:09:23.500
 Hebrews 10.

00:09:23.600 --> 00:09:25.360
 Because we encourage one another.

00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:27.620
 Because we don't stop meeting.

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 Do you have those people?

00:09:30.259 --> 00:09:37.580
 Apparently they said within a church context, only one in five people would say they have one close friend within the church.

00:09:38.980 --> 00:09:40.379
 That's what we're trying to push back on.

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 Because we're like, no, we must.

00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:44.980
 Friendship is so key.

00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:46.700
 So key.

00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:48.620
 Adding value to survival.

00:09:48.620 --> 00:09:50.879
 So I want to encourage us today.

00:09:50.980 --> 00:09:52.600
 We're going to open up the word and we're going to look about that.

00:09:52.659 --> 00:09:56.440
 And I'm going to ask, maybe the first question is, how are you and your friends?

00:09:57.320 --> 00:09:58.620
 What friends do you have?

00:09:59.100 --> 00:10:02.659
 If friends are really that important, do you have any really good ones?

00:10:04.019 --> 00:10:06.600
 You might look at me and go, oh, but James, you don't need friends.

00:10:06.679 --> 00:10:07.700
 You've got Joe.

00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:08.639
 You've got Christina.

00:10:08.779 --> 00:10:09.139
 You're married.

00:10:10.039 --> 00:10:11.860
 How do you think my marriage even works?

00:10:12.700 --> 00:10:15.080
 My marriage works because my wife is my best friend.

00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:25.520
 Once the romantic side goes, once I stop looking like Achilles, it's going to be the friendship that remains.

00:10:27.940 --> 00:10:31.040
 Do you think we started the gathering, me and Joe, because we were brothers?

00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:35.020
 Which of you would start a church gathering with your sibling?

00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:38.360
 I started the gathering with Joe because he's my friend.

00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:47.060
 Because we believe there's a spirituality in our friendship that encourages us to spur each other on.

00:10:47.620 --> 00:10:51.240
 C.S. Lewis says this, a friendship is born when one person says to another, what?

00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:52.200
 You too?

00:10:52.580 --> 00:10:53.980
 I thought you were the only one.

00:10:55.800 --> 00:10:58.700
 Friends are people who look at each other and go, oh, you too.

00:10:58.860 --> 00:11:00.419
 You feel the same way too.

00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:01.940
 I look at my brother and go, wow.

00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:04.300
 You love God the same way that I do.

00:11:04.299 --> 00:11:09.819
 Oh, you're discipling people the way that I like to disciple people.

00:11:09.959 --> 00:11:10.299
 Wow.

00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:12.639
 We're friends.

00:11:14.740 --> 00:11:15.519
 What about you?

00:11:16.339 --> 00:11:21.959
 See, the interesting thing about friends, though, of course, is the ancients would call it the school of virtue.

00:11:22.539 --> 00:11:25.120
 It's basically where you learn all the good things.

00:11:25.579 --> 00:11:27.579
 But the truth is you can learn all the good things.

00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:32.459
 It can be a school of virtue, but it could also be the school of vice where you learn all the bad things.

00:11:32.460 --> 00:11:38.480
 There's a quote that I came across, which is basically friendship makes good men better and bad men worse.

00:11:39.259 --> 00:11:40.780
 Good men better and bad men worse.

00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:42.940
 And we talked about this maybe a year or two ago.

00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:44.960
 And Kuban was the one that taught me this.

00:11:45.540 --> 00:11:50.519
 You're an average of the five people that you spend time with, that spend the most time with.

00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:51.639
 Have a think.

00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:53.820
 Who are the five people you spend the most time with?

00:11:53.820 --> 00:12:00.780
 And if you're an average of those five people, does that terrify you or does that relieve you?

00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:01.960
 Does that comfort you?

00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:04.280
 Does that encourage you?

00:12:06.040 --> 00:12:11.100
 When Chandler Bing looks around at his five friends, that's the average.

00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:17.100
 And of course, you see they made a whole 10 series out of just what friendship looks like when everyone's around the same level,

00:12:17.180 --> 00:12:19.120
 thinking about the same things, doing the same things.

00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:23.200
 Friendship makes good men better and bad men worse.

00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:28.159
 I want to encourage us today to look a little bit about what that might look like.

00:12:28.220 --> 00:12:30.580
 And the beauty of the Christian life is friendship and family.

00:12:30.779 --> 00:12:33.879
 There's just this beautiful mix that comes together.

00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:36.139
 We have friends who are as close as family.

00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:37.600
 We have family who are friends.

00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:41.580
 Of course, this week during my less than fair weather week,

00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:47.740
 I've experienced the blessing of having friends around when maybe family can't get to me as easily.

00:12:47.740 --> 00:12:50.340
 There's the Chinese saying, I'm a yun chan, but you can don't.

00:12:50.919 --> 00:12:57.039
 Having people who are around you, who are friends, is better than having relatives who are far away.

00:12:58.120 --> 00:12:59.240
 Who are the friends that you have?

00:13:00.419 --> 00:13:04.560
 Of course, you always know that my favorite theologian is Dominic Toretto.

00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:12.439
 In his long series, The Fast and the Furious, he would say time and time again,

00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:14.539
 I don't have friends.

00:13:15.079 --> 00:13:17.000
 I got family.

00:13:17.739 --> 00:13:20.059
 It's the people right here, right now.

00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:21.939
 Man, love that guy.

00:13:24.739 --> 00:13:26.199
 I look like that guy now.

00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:31.420
 It's like a mini version.

00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:33.379
 Like his child.

00:13:36.180 --> 00:13:38.759
 The people right here, right now is what he says.

00:13:39.020 --> 00:13:42.240
 It reminds me a little bit of maybe what Jesus says in Matthew 12.

00:13:42.500 --> 00:13:45.620
 He says, they said, Jesus, your mother and your brother are looking for you.

00:13:45.660 --> 00:13:46.200
 What does he say?

00:13:46.780 --> 00:13:48.000
 Who are my mother and my brother?

00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:50.040
 It's you guys.

00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:53.800
 Those who do the will of God are my mother and my brother.

00:13:53.799 --> 00:13:57.879
 The beauty of the Christian life is the family and friendship mix.

00:13:58.199 --> 00:13:59.299
 Do you have that?

00:13:59.379 --> 00:14:01.439
 There's a quote that I just kept going on and on.

00:14:01.639 --> 00:14:02.740
 I think I read it from somewhere.

00:14:02.839 --> 00:14:05.079
 It was like, friends let you in, but they don't let you down.

00:14:06.500 --> 00:14:09.599
 Friends let you in, and they don't let you down.

00:14:10.719 --> 00:14:12.699
 And so I want to really go into scripture about that.

00:14:12.719 --> 00:14:18.679
 But before I go into scripture, in this series, I wanted to have other people come and share a little bit about their experience.

00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:20.719
 And here is I'm going to invite my friend.

00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:22.500
 I was once his boss.

00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:24.659
 Then I became his pastor.

00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:27.379
 But most of all, I am his friend.

00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:33.620
 We both hail from the Great Britain, the United Kingdom, where all the good things have come from in the past.

00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:37.059
 And I want to invite Gabs to come up.

00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:39.320
 Give him a round of applause.

00:14:42.200 --> 00:14:43.200
 Do you want to grab that mic?

00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.200
 So actually, Gabs and I were talking a little bit about that.

00:14:48.220 --> 00:14:49.320
 So he came over as well.

00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:50.680
 He came to visit me in the hospital.

00:14:50.860 --> 00:14:52.700
 But his main role was just to come and laugh at me.

00:14:53.400 --> 00:14:53.980
 And to get this.

00:14:54.280 --> 00:14:55.460
 And to steal my phone from me.

00:14:55.700 --> 00:14:56.560
 That's all you were doing.

00:14:56.560 --> 00:14:56.879
 Long story.

00:14:57.020 --> 00:14:57.460
 Long story.

00:14:57.460 --> 00:15:02.460
 But we were talking because we grew up in the UK in a much simpler place, I must say.

00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:06.340
 Because we had a group of friends, like separate groups of friends.

00:15:06.540 --> 00:15:07.580
 Mine were much smarter than his.

00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:14.460
 We'd have a group of friends.

00:15:15.940 --> 00:15:16.800
 And that would be it.

00:15:18.139 --> 00:15:19.900
 Because you only, Francis is just chuckling.

00:15:19.980 --> 00:15:20.759
 Because that's all you have.

00:15:20.800 --> 00:15:22.180
 You have no choice in your friendships.

00:15:23.540 --> 00:15:26.340
 Especially if you're in a church context or in school.

00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.160
 You're with the same group of friends all the time.

00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:31.600
 Coming to Hong Kong was the biggest shift for us.

00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.639
 Because suddenly, everyone's moving around.

00:15:35.019 --> 00:15:36.159
 Everyone's changing churches.

00:15:36.580 --> 00:15:37.700
 Everyone's changing cities.

00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:41.040
 And so all your friendships are just constantly swirling.

00:15:41.680 --> 00:15:44.320
 And so, mate, why don't you share with us the first thing.

00:15:44.460 --> 00:15:49.820
 Which is just kind of, what's been your experience of friendship coming from the UK to Hong Kong?

00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:54.740
 I would boil it down to two things.

00:15:54.940 --> 00:15:57.680
 So, in the UK, I think it's very much proximity.

00:15:58.100 --> 00:15:59.279
 And I'm sure it's like this in a lot of places.

00:15:59.399 --> 00:16:01.000
 It's just, who is around you?

00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:04.940
 Like, who are the closest four people that you see the most often?

00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:06.519
 Those are going to be your closest friends.

00:16:06.740 --> 00:16:10.379
 That is basically the description of my friendships in the UK.

00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:14.039
 You know, so when I was growing up, in the first area I lived,

00:16:14.299 --> 00:16:19.600
 I literally had a group of three friends who I don't keep in contact with.

00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:22.340
 But because I lived in that area, those were my best friends.

00:16:22.659 --> 00:16:23.360
 And then I moved.

00:16:23.740 --> 00:16:24.860
 Didn't talk to those friends anymore.

00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.259
 And I made friends with the people around me in this new area.

00:16:28.620 --> 00:16:30.519
 So, it really was just based on proximity.

00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:32.939
 And I think about, like, what did we have in common?

00:16:33.379 --> 00:16:35.439
 Other than the fact that we grew up in the same area, not much.

00:16:35.980 --> 00:16:38.159
 We did the same things, but it's because we grew up in the same area.

00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:44.019
 So, it really was just a case of proximity as opposed to any other deeper meaning.

00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:44.539
 Yeah.

00:16:44.740 --> 00:16:44.899
 Yeah.

00:16:44.899 --> 00:16:46.860
 And I've talked about that, actually.

00:16:46.959 --> 00:16:49.819
 Sometimes we confuse community with proximity.

00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:52.759
 There's the people, oh, just the people who are close enough to you.

00:16:52.779 --> 00:16:53.480
 Oh, that's your community.

00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:57.379
 No, actually, there's a couple more steps you need to get to in order to have real community.

00:16:57.779 --> 00:16:59.159
 But in the UK, that's all you had.

00:16:59.240 --> 00:16:59.919
 And you made do.

00:17:00.220 --> 00:17:00.340
 Yeah.

00:17:00.340 --> 00:17:00.879
 And that was it, right?

00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:01.079
 Yeah.

00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:01.600
 And it was fine.

00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:03.639
 So, what was the shock then when you came to Hong Kong?

00:17:04.099 --> 00:17:04.400
 Okay.

00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:04.660
 Yeah.

00:17:04.660 --> 00:17:08.779
 So, a bit of context, I came to Hong Kong on exchange in 2015.

00:17:09.160 --> 00:17:10.279
 I was at HKU for a year.

00:17:10.740 --> 00:17:14.620
 And obviously, the city itself was a huge experience for me.

00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:16.820
 It was like taking London.

00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:17.440
 So, I grew up in London.

00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:21.200
 I was taking London, condensing it, turning the heat up, and everything was just intense,

00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:21.840
 that's what it felt like.

00:17:22.580 --> 00:17:27.779
 And I remember feeling kind of out of place, feeling quite lost, feeling kind of confused.

00:17:27.860 --> 00:17:28.660
 It was kind of overwhelming.

00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:36.040
 But what I realized quite quickly is that because of the intensity of this city, I think you

00:17:36.040 --> 00:17:37.420
 can go both ways with friendships.

00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:41.480
 I think you can have very surface-level friendships that kind of just stay, okay, I'm never going

00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:42.000
 to see you again.

00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:43.000
 Have a great time.

00:17:43.060 --> 00:17:43.400
 See you later.

00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:45.040
 And that could happen very easily.

00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:49.580
 But then on the other side of the spectrum, I think there was a lot of opportunity for depth.

00:17:49.840 --> 00:17:52.700
 It was almost like, I don't know how long this will last.

00:17:52.840 --> 00:17:53.860
 So, let's go all in.

00:17:53.859 --> 00:17:59.000
 And I think I was blessed to have a lot of those experiences in my first year.

00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:02.359
 And it's quite cool because, funnily enough, a lot of the people I met that year are in

00:18:02.359 --> 00:18:02.859
 our church now.

00:18:03.339 --> 00:18:04.779
 So, it's kind of cool to think about.

00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:07.219
 I met them eight, nine years ago.

00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:08.299
 Trevor's one of them.

00:18:08.719 --> 00:18:09.379
 Josh is one of them.

00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:13.319
 But people who I met all those years ago, and I'm still connected to now because there

00:18:13.319 --> 00:18:16.679
 was this intentionality where I was like, let's go all in.

00:18:17.019 --> 00:18:18.059
 Let's be close.

00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:21.899
 Let's find out what doing life together looks like in this season because we don't know how

00:18:21.899 --> 00:18:22.379
 long that will be.

00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:22.859
 Yeah.

00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:23.500
 No, that's good.

00:18:23.500 --> 00:18:26.759
 And we've all been in those kind of gatherings where you talk to people.

00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:27.539
 You're like, hey, hey, hey.

00:18:27.579 --> 00:18:29.259
 You're like, I'm never going to speak to you ever again.

00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:31.640
 Let's try to get out of this conversation as quick as we can.

00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:34.240
 But then there's other ones where you're like, actually, no, there's something that I need

00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:34.480
 to do.

00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:36.079
 You mentioned the word intentionality.

00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:36.619
 Yes.

00:18:37.619 --> 00:18:42.180
 Actually, we were going to bring one of his best friends up, Josh Shum, to come up to share

00:18:42.180 --> 00:18:43.019
 about it together.

00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:46.619
 But then we got our dates wrong and he's in Australia right now.

00:18:47.660 --> 00:18:48.900
 So, he let us down.

00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:50.660
 Josh, if you're listening, you let us down.

00:18:50.660 --> 00:18:51.680
 I'm not going to talk about you, Josh.

00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:54.740
 You say intentionality.

00:18:54.940 --> 00:18:56.340
 Tell us what that means.

00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:59.259
 Why are you still friends with Josh and why are you still friends with Trevor?

00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:04.220
 What steps did you take to actually go to the next level?

00:19:04.220 --> 00:19:09.740
 So, Josh and I had a very interesting start to our friendship.

00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:11.839
 We were both in the same university dorm.

00:19:12.620 --> 00:19:17.279
 And I remember we were waiting for the dorm initiation where they do something weird to

00:19:17.279 --> 00:19:18.559
 initiate you into the floor.

00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:20.420
 So, I was waiting in the pantry.

00:19:21.079 --> 00:19:22.480
 And Josh was also waiting in the pantry.

00:19:23.019 --> 00:19:25.120
 And it was just us two in the pantry sitting there.

00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:25.900
 We weren't talking to each other.

00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:29.259
 And then he looks over at me and he's like, hey, what's your name?

00:19:30.120 --> 00:19:31.480
 And I'm like, okay, weird start.

00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:32.000
 Gabriel.

00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:37.080
 And then he asked me, I don't know what prompted him to ask me this.

00:19:37.280 --> 00:19:38.660
 And I'm sure there was some stuff in the middle.

00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:43.360
 But from what I can remember, the next question, one of the next few questions was, hey, are you a Christian?

00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:47.759
 And I was like, what a strange thing to jump into, Josh.

00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:49.159
 I didn't know his name at this point.

00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:52.599
 But thinking back, I'm like, what an interesting thing to jump into at this point.

00:19:53.139 --> 00:19:57.419
 Bear in mind, I'd been in Hong Kong maybe three months at this point.

00:19:57.819 --> 00:19:59.139
 I was sitting in this pantry.

00:19:59.859 --> 00:20:02.159
 I hadn't really connected with anyone else on my floor.

00:20:02.519 --> 00:20:05.899
 My roommate was this other, you know, guy from France.

00:20:06.339 --> 00:20:08.459
 Everyone else on the floor was kind of local students.

00:20:09.199 --> 00:20:10.359
 So, I hadn't really connected with anyone.

00:20:10.359 --> 00:20:15.099
 But as I sat there and Josh asked me this question, we ended up having this really deep conversation.

00:20:15.639 --> 00:20:16.839
 And it was about life.

00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:17.879
 It was about my background.

00:20:18.059 --> 00:20:19.459
 It was about my experiences growing up.

00:20:19.539 --> 00:20:24.199
 It was about the answer I gave him to if I was a Christian at that point was, yeah.

00:20:25.079 --> 00:20:27.279
 And there was a lot of story behind that.

00:20:27.339 --> 00:20:28.019
 But it was like, yeah.

00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:29.579
 And we ended up going into that.

00:20:29.699 --> 00:20:33.959
 But I think that was a big step of the intentionality that he showed on his side.

00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.299
 It was just this willingness to step in and to ask those hard questions.

00:20:37.299 --> 00:20:42.379
 And I think it was just from that point where a lot of it was actually on his side.

00:20:42.539 --> 00:20:44.319
 He was pursuing.

00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.059
 You know, there was a sense of pursuit in this friendship.

00:20:47.159 --> 00:20:49.119
 There was a sense of pursuit in this intentionality.

00:20:49.419 --> 00:20:53.419
 And it was reciprocated on my side because I was thinking to myself, hadn't been connected to anyone.

00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:55.500
 And I was really valuing this depth.

00:20:55.659 --> 00:21:00.200
 I was really valuing, wow, the conversations I'm having with this guy, I haven't had with anyone else.

00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:09.100
 You know, so I think there was just a lot of experiences that I hadn't had before that were beginning to sort of cultivate with this relationship with Josh.

00:21:09.420 --> 00:21:09.559
 Yeah.

00:21:09.980 --> 00:21:15.220
 And it just requires someone to start asking questions to actually take it to the next level.

00:21:15.600 --> 00:21:21.779
 I think Joe and Jay probably met around the same time, too, maybe a little bit earlier than you guys.

00:21:21.779 --> 00:21:23.559
 And again, it was a Young Life thing.

00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:25.859
 And then they just shared a bus ride together.

00:21:26.059 --> 00:21:29.379
 And now they're leading a midweek group together.

00:21:30.259 --> 00:21:32.039
 So maybe one more thing.

00:21:32.119 --> 00:21:36.599
 Tell us about how you and Josh work in the sense that how do you spur each other on?

00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:41.279
 Like, what does the spirituality of your friendship look like?

00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:44.200
 And how do you guys kind of encourage one another?

00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:45.000
 Right.

00:21:45.559 --> 00:21:52.779
 So, you know, the Proverbs 27, 17 verse, as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

00:21:54.019 --> 00:21:59.460
 I think that verse, as I've often listened to it, it's very like, yeah, we're going to sharpen each other.

00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:00.059
 Let's go.

00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.759
 You know, it feels like very, yeah, let's sharpen each other.

00:22:03.819 --> 00:22:04.440
 Let's be strong.

00:22:04.740 --> 00:22:09.879
 But actually, when I think about that verse, I think about the discomfort.

00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:11.520
 I think about the pain.

00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:12.540
 I think about the chipping.

00:22:12.780 --> 00:22:15.280
 You know, for something to be sharpened, there's a grating.

00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:17.140
 It's like pushing against each other.

00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:18.320
 Sometimes it's not always comfortable.

00:22:18.500 --> 00:22:21.980
 The sound that it creates, a lot of that experience isn't actually comfortable.

00:22:22.700 --> 00:22:28.300
 And I think that's something I've really valued about my friendships with Josh, but also with a lot of the brothers I have here.

00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:29.480
 And I'm blessed to say that I have here.

00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:31.140
 It's not always easy.

00:22:31.220 --> 00:22:32.800
 And that's a part of why it's so great.

00:22:33.660 --> 00:22:36.160
 I think what we do see is that there's a commitment.

00:22:37.020 --> 00:22:38.820
 There's a loyalty and there's a trust to one another.

00:22:38.819 --> 00:22:42.379
 Especially as we look at each other and we say, I see that you love God.

00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:43.899
 And that's the direction you're going.

00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:45.339
 And you know that that's my desire.

00:22:45.939 --> 00:22:47.679
 We know that we're both on the same path.

00:22:47.740 --> 00:22:51.439
 So when these situations come up, I know I can trust what you're saying to me.

00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:53.240
 And I hope you can trust what I'm saying to you.

00:22:53.579 --> 00:22:56.639
 But that doesn't take away from the fact that sometimes it's hard.

00:22:57.059 --> 00:22:57.879
 Sometimes it's difficult.

00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.019
 Sometimes it grates you.

00:22:59.539 --> 00:23:03.099
 But that's what I think is the refining part of it.

00:23:03.099 --> 00:23:04.839
 You know, that's what I can look at.

00:23:04.939 --> 00:23:07.519
 And there's been various moments I've had with a lot of the brothers here.

00:23:07.699 --> 00:23:12.480
 But specifically talking about Josh, we've had moments where it's just like, we are so different, dude.

00:23:12.859 --> 00:23:13.859
 Like, why are we friends?

00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:19.299
 But like in the best way, it's just like, what about us makes us close?

00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:21.699
 What about us makes us want to commit this to this friendship?

00:23:21.819 --> 00:23:23.339
 Because we're so different in so many ways.

00:23:23.959 --> 00:23:27.899
 But time and time again, there's always these moments where it's just like, man, he's got my back.

00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:32.639
 And I know that he will call me out and I can call him out and we're going to be there for each other.

00:23:33.139 --> 00:23:36.879
 You know, I've like lived at his house so many times for various reasons.

00:23:37.259 --> 00:23:43.379
 You know, I'm like very integrated into his family just because of the case of him bringing me in, his parents bringing me in.

00:23:43.379 --> 00:23:45.339
 But I know that he's always got my back.

00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.480
 So even when those moments come where it's like there's some grating and there's some difficulty.

00:23:49.199 --> 00:23:51.659
 And I just trust that he cares about me.

00:23:51.660 --> 00:23:54.640
 He's loyal to me, but he's also more importantly loyal to God.

00:23:54.779 --> 00:24:00.279
 And that's where his love for me and his care for me is coming from, which is true for all of the brothers I can say that I have here, which I'm very blessed to.

00:24:00.540 --> 00:24:01.279
 So, yeah.

00:24:01.880 --> 00:24:02.259
 That's good.

00:24:02.340 --> 00:24:03.220
 Hey, one final question.

00:24:03.320 --> 00:24:12.460
 As we figure out what it means together for a relationship with him and with each other, there's no doubt people sat here who are like, you know what?

00:24:13.259 --> 00:24:18.460
 Actually, I'm the four out of the five who don't have a close friend in this place right now.

00:24:18.460 --> 00:24:23.480
 So what's I mean, again, it's not as simple and easy of this and it's not as universal as this.

00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:32.380
 But what's what are what's some thoughts that come to your mind as to actually what encouragement would you give or what tips would you might give to people who are trying to find meaningful friendships here?

00:24:33.259 --> 00:24:33.420
 Yeah.

00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:40.380
 I think firstly, I would say trusting that God has something for you here.

00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.220
 Trusting that God does desire for you to have these close relationships.

00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:45.680
 You know, I think it's easy.

00:24:45.820 --> 00:24:47.620
 I don't know what your backgrounds are, where you're coming from.

00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:53.180
 I think it might be easy to step into an environment and feel like, ah, I don't know what's really going to be here for me.

00:24:53.539 --> 00:24:54.420
 Let me just coast.

00:24:54.800 --> 00:24:55.800
 Let me stay at this level.

00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:58.359
 And whatever happens, happens.

00:24:58.539 --> 00:24:59.180
 I'm fine with it.

00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:02.680
 But almost expecting that God wants depth for you.

00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:08.019
 He wants these relationships to be at this level where it's not just surface level, because that's where the growth comes from.

00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:12.799
 So I'd say it's almost just like a heart posture where you're expecting that from the Lord.

00:25:13.940 --> 00:25:15.039
 I'd say showing up.

00:25:16.419 --> 00:25:20.399
 Showing up in the spaces where God can show up through people for you.

00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:24.620
 I think a big part of my story is not trusting, actually.

00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:28.660
 It's not knowing how to trust community, not knowing how to trust people.

00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:43.759
 And I think a big shift and perspective change for me came in vulnerability and allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of bros, in front of the people that God had put around me, and letting them into that space, which I wouldn't usually let people into.

00:25:43.860 --> 00:25:46.280
 That's not my normal way of functioning.

00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:49.500
 So I think that was a big step for me as well.

00:25:49.500 --> 00:25:55.019
 It was letting people into that vulnerability and saying, it's okay, because God has something for me in this space.

00:25:55.880 --> 00:25:59.039
 But then, final thing, I would say it's on your side as well.

00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:01.500
 It's you sometimes taking that initiation.

00:26:01.779 --> 00:26:05.819
 You taking that initiative to step into a relationship and saying, hey, what's going on?

00:26:06.259 --> 00:26:08.039
 Like, I want to build something here.

00:26:08.140 --> 00:26:10.339
 I desire to know you the way God knows you.

00:26:10.460 --> 00:26:12.940
 I desire to be a part of how he's building you up.

00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:18.559
 And taking that step of initiative can do so much for, not just for you, but for the people around you.

00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:18.819
 Yeah.

00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:19.980
 Thank you.

00:26:20.139 --> 00:26:20.940
 Thank you very much.

00:26:21.099 --> 00:26:21.539
 Thanks, Gabs.

00:26:21.799 --> 00:26:22.700
 Round of applause for Gabs.

00:26:26.419 --> 00:26:31.220
 I remember I was having lunch with Danny the other week, and we were like, hey, how do we build friendships?

00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:33.460
 And I was like, you know what I think the main thing is?

00:26:33.879 --> 00:26:38.619
 It's hanging out with people outside of the times that you're supposed to be hanging out.

00:26:39.339 --> 00:26:40.179
 Does that make sense?

00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:47.259
 Like, if you just use this time on Sundays to meet people and make friends, that's going to be hard.

00:26:47.460 --> 00:26:51.539
 If you take one step and go, okay, well, I'll go and join a midweek, that's better.

00:26:51.820 --> 00:26:53.160
 But actually, that's still going to be hard.

00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:58.039
 The best way to really make friends is to hang out in all the dead space, in all the dead time.

00:26:58.560 --> 00:27:00.420
 Or just go around to each other's houses for dinner.

00:27:01.019 --> 00:27:05.500
 That's seriously, it's the times where you don't need to be together, but you're still together.

00:27:05.500 --> 00:27:07.319
 That's how friendship is really born.

00:27:07.819 --> 00:27:10.680
 And Gab said something interesting there, which is him and Shum are so different.

00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:11.220
 And they are.

00:27:11.619 --> 00:27:12.339
 They're so different.

00:27:12.940 --> 00:27:15.319
 And that's one of the key things that you have to remember here.

00:27:15.740 --> 00:27:21.799
 The world has not cracked what a differentiated friendship system looks like, but the church must.

00:27:22.779 --> 00:27:27.960
 The church must be a place where you can be friends with people who are so different from you.

00:27:28.940 --> 00:27:30.200
 That's the nature of the gospel.

00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:36.920
 So we have to be a type of people where we're like, we're going to be friends with people who are so different from us.

00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:37.240
 Why?

00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:40.100
 Because we, what, you too, you love Jesus too?

00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:43.279
 Wow, the way you love Jesus looks different to the way I love Jesus.

00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:45.319
 But that's encouraging to me.

00:27:45.940 --> 00:27:49.160
 And as a pastor, one thing that's super encouraging to me is people have often said,

00:27:49.420 --> 00:27:51.680
 people go to church for many reasons.

00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:52.700
 Some go for worship.

00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:54.420
 Some go for the sermon.

00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:58.460
 Some go for the convenience or wherever it is, or the time, wherever it is.

00:27:58.460 --> 00:28:01.019
 But most people stay because of friends.

00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:03.819
 That's why you stay in a church.

00:28:04.299 --> 00:28:06.740
 So finding friends is really that important.

00:28:06.860 --> 00:28:08.759
 I'm going to jump in to scripture now.

00:28:08.860 --> 00:28:13.120
 And I want you to have a think and maybe give you a little bit of a panic moment just to kind of raise your heart rate a little bit.

00:28:13.140 --> 00:28:15.340
 I want to ask you, I'm talking about friendship.

00:28:15.500 --> 00:28:17.720
 And I was looking for examples in the Bible about friendship.

00:28:19.500 --> 00:28:25.400
 Prize to the person who can guess which friendship I was, I'm going to be talking about.

00:28:27.299 --> 00:28:27.539
 Huh?

00:28:27.539 --> 00:28:28.579
 Jonathan and David.

00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:31.440
 Oh, Jonathan and David.

00:28:31.700 --> 00:28:32.460
 Jonathan and David.

00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:32.839
 Absolutely.

00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:37.920
 It's a fascinating friendship that I want to uncrack and just open up a little bit.

00:28:38.379 --> 00:28:40.740
 So it's in 1 Samuel 18.

00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:43.119
 And again, this is a little interval here.

00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:46.819
 It's only going to be a short passage, but I want to, but it's just so rich.

00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:55.220
 There's just, even in the short few verses, there's something here for us that tells us a little bit about how God designed friendship and what it's used for.

00:28:55.220 --> 00:28:57.860
 So as always, can I invite you to stand for the word of God?

00:28:57.859 --> 00:29:11.579
 God, as we're talking about friendship, we open up your word now.

00:29:11.579 --> 00:29:15.720
 Your word has so much power and truth.

00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:21.799
 And as we look at the words here written in 1 Samuel, we ask that you would speak.

00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:24.360
 You would move.

00:29:24.420 --> 00:29:30.819
 Your Holy Spirit would move in our hearts and you would show us your heart for what friendship is.

00:29:30.819 --> 00:29:32.980
 Thank you, Lord, for these words.

00:29:33.819 --> 00:29:37.259
 1 Samuel chapter 18, verse 1 to 4.

00:29:38.539 --> 00:29:40.079
 David and Jonathan's friendship.

00:29:40.700 --> 00:29:45.439
 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.

00:29:46.039 --> 00:29:48.220
 And Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

00:29:48.759 --> 00:29:52.859
 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house.

00:29:52.859 --> 00:29:57.240
 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul.

00:29:57.659 --> 00:30:06.179
 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David and his armor and even his sword and his bow and his belt.

00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:08.279
 This is the word of the Lord.

00:30:09.399 --> 00:30:10.259
 Please take a seat.

00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:14.659
 It's fascinating.

00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:19.240
 So when we talk about friendship and we talk about the Bible, we've got these two examples right here.

00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:21.880
 Jonathan and David, these bros.

00:30:22.339 --> 00:30:23.880
 Just a little bit of context here.

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:26.480
 1 Samuel 17, something important has happened.

00:30:27.259 --> 00:30:29.740
 Friendship has happened because of what?

00:30:29.940 --> 00:30:31.380
 It came through battle.

00:30:31.700 --> 00:30:33.920
 The chapter just before is about Goliath.

00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:34.680
 Okay?

00:30:34.980 --> 00:30:40.319
 So David, the shepherd boy, kills Goliath, rescues the Israelites, beats the Philistines.

00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:44.779
 And then chapter 18, we jump straight into the response.

00:30:45.099 --> 00:30:48.539
 And there's a couple of interesting things that happen in this response here.

00:30:48.539 --> 00:30:53.059
 The crowd are just in awe of David.

00:30:53.220 --> 00:30:54.159
 They even sing a song.

00:30:54.379 --> 00:30:57.819
 They sing a song that maybe football hooligans would sing in the stadium.

00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:00.720
 Saul has struck down his thousands and David his ten thousands.

00:31:01.259 --> 00:31:01.659
 And they're singing.

00:31:01.819 --> 00:31:05.899
 Now, unfortunately, that little song right there, that little chant right there, gets Saul jealous.

00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:09.279
 Now, they're just singing it just because it rhymes and because it's a nice song to sing.

00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:10.799
 But Saul's like, what?

00:31:11.579 --> 00:31:14.579
 You're saying that I only did thousands and David did ten thousands?

00:31:14.579 --> 00:31:17.599
 So then Saul starts to feel this jealousy in his heart.

00:31:17.779 --> 00:31:22.619
 And this starts a whole journey, epic journey, where ultimately Saul is trying to kill David.

00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:29.740
 But Jonathan, but Jonathan, Saul's son, reacts completely differently.

00:31:30.460 --> 00:31:34.839
 He sees this young man and loves him in a way.

00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:38.779
 The soul of Jonathan is knit to the soul of David.

00:31:38.879 --> 00:31:41.720
 Something interesting here is just a bit about Jonathan.

00:31:43.439 --> 00:31:45.619
 Actually, if you think about Jonathan and David, what do you think?

00:31:45.779 --> 00:31:48.579
 I'm thinking a little bit, maybe an image like Gabs and Shum.

00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.619
 Just two guys, maybe similar age, similar hellbees, similar things.

00:31:52.980 --> 00:31:54.039
 This was not the case.

00:31:54.759 --> 00:31:56.799
 Jonathan was a prince.

00:31:57.619 --> 00:31:58.579
 He was going to be king.

00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:03.139
 And he was actually, if the scholars have looked at this and have kind of broken down the timeline,

00:32:03.899 --> 00:32:08.960
 most people think that actually Jonathan was about probably 20 to 30 years older than David.

00:32:09.779 --> 00:32:14.039
 So this wasn't just two bros hanging out doing fist bumps and all that kind of stuff.

00:32:14.859 --> 00:32:19.519
 This was an older man who actually was a prince, who was going to be king,

00:32:20.179 --> 00:32:25.980
 looks at this young man, looks at this shepherd and goes, man, I love this kid.

00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:28.019
 Why does he love this kid?

00:32:28.019 --> 00:32:34.299
 Because he just saw this little kid face up to this giant when all the other warriors were scared.

00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:39.440
 And out of his love for God, out of his trust for God that comes with the courage from that,

00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:40.559
 kills this giant.

00:32:41.160 --> 00:32:44.339
 And Jonathan's like, man, that's cool.

00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:46.079
 I love that.

00:32:46.639 --> 00:32:47.839
 What I see in him.

00:32:48.319 --> 00:32:52.259
 Am I painting a different picture as to what Jonathan and David look like?

00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:54.639
 Only a couple of chapters before in 1 Samuel 14.

00:32:54.640 --> 00:33:00.140
 Actually, Jonathan himself, him and his armor bearer, just the two guys, they kill 20 Philistines.

00:33:00.540 --> 00:33:01.880
 So the ratio is 1 to 10.

00:33:02.780 --> 00:33:03.560
 He's like, it, man.

00:33:04.259 --> 00:33:05.280
 So he kills.

00:33:05.660 --> 00:33:06.460
 Yeah, God, that's up, God.

00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:08.100
 Maybe his armor bearer.

00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:08.420
 I don't know who.

00:33:08.700 --> 00:33:10.480
 Like, Jonathan is a warrior.

00:33:12.100 --> 00:33:14.080
 He's going to be king.

00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:20.539
 And yet he looks at this young shepherd boy and goes, man, I love the heart of this young man.

00:33:21.460 --> 00:33:23.879
 That's the context, which at least tells me one thing.

00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:27.760
 We can have friends across different age groups.

00:33:28.580 --> 00:33:32.960
 We don't have to have friends who are exactly the same as us, who like the same things as us.

00:33:34.260 --> 00:33:35.600
 Those are called sports teams.

00:33:36.080 --> 00:33:37.140
 Those are called chess clubs.

00:33:38.580 --> 00:33:39.620
 Church is not that.

00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:42.100
 Church is where we hang out.

00:33:42.940 --> 00:33:43.160
 It's okay.

00:33:43.240 --> 00:33:44.380
 Juju's still learning what friends are.

00:33:44.380 --> 00:33:59.360
 So churches where there are intergenerational friendships that exist because of a joint focus and a love for something else.

00:34:00.340 --> 00:34:01.400
 Does that make sense?

00:34:02.280 --> 00:34:09.780
 Some of my closest friends, actually two of my closest friends in Hong Kong that I've had the pleasure of making are two people who are a fair bit older than me.

00:34:09.860 --> 00:34:10.960
 Their names are Jonathan and David.

00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:15.079
 And actually, I find they are of encouragement to me.

00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:17.420
 And we have no business being together.

00:34:17.500 --> 00:34:19.539
 Yet because of the gospel, we are.

00:34:20.420 --> 00:34:21.639
 So there's something about that.

00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:22.440
 And there's something more.

00:34:22.579 --> 00:34:23.960
 This is a prince.

00:34:24.940 --> 00:34:27.740
 I want you to understand the political nature of this.

00:34:28.260 --> 00:34:31.559
 And he takes off his robe and he puts it around David.

00:34:32.019 --> 00:34:33.820
 This isn't, oh, the air con is quite cold.

00:34:33.900 --> 00:34:35.980
 Hey, here, you're still in your fighting vest.

00:34:37.460 --> 00:34:38.280
 It's not that.

00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:41.060
 Do you know what that robe meant?

00:34:42.680 --> 00:34:43.480
 Jonathan looks.

00:34:43.740 --> 00:34:50.180
 He himself, who can kill many soldiers, many Philistines, says, I see God's hand on you.

00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:52.100
 I see God's favor on you.

00:34:52.140 --> 00:34:53.320
 I see your love for God.

00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:58.460
 And even though I should be king, I know you are going to be king.

00:34:59.260 --> 00:35:00.640
 And I'm going to take that off.

00:35:01.100 --> 00:35:01.820
 And I'm going to put it around.

00:35:01.860 --> 00:35:04.100
 Can you see how significant that step is?

00:35:05.080 --> 00:35:06.580
 And I don't know what the equivalent is.

00:35:06.579 --> 00:35:12.519
 Maybe it's two presidential candidates gunning for the presidency in the U.S.

00:35:12.519 --> 00:35:13.819
 And then one of them going, you know what?

00:35:14.179 --> 00:35:16.699
 I want the job, but you're better at the job.

00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:18.860
 I resign.

00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:19.299
 I quit.

00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:20.500
 I'm going to give the job to you.

00:35:21.940 --> 00:35:24.920
 Can you see how preposterous it is what Jonathan did?

00:35:25.539 --> 00:35:26.659
 And that friendship cost him.

00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:30.019
 And ultimately, it ends up costing him his life.

00:35:30.019 --> 00:35:34.840
 The world has no answer for that kind of friendship.

00:35:34.980 --> 00:35:36.079
 And then he gives him his sword.

00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:42.039
 So he gives him his robe and says, hey, I should be king, but you should be king.

00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:53.320
 Imagine you fighting for a role in your company and you look at someone else and you're like, okay, I think God wants that person to take the job that I want.

00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:56.660
 And you say, I'm going to, how hard that is.

00:35:56.680 --> 00:35:59.620
 And then he gives him his sword, which is saying, I'm going to be completely vulnerable to you.

00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:02.300
 I'm going to serve you to the death, which is what he does.

00:36:02.300 --> 00:36:10.660
 This kind of friendship is not just a cool, lighthearted bromance with fist bumps.

00:36:11.700 --> 00:36:15.400
 This one is one of intentionality and it costs him.

00:36:16.240 --> 00:36:24.140
 And then the next two chapters, what happens is Saul, Jonathan's dad, is trying to chase him down, trying to kill David because he's jealous.

00:36:24.680 --> 00:36:25.440
 And what does Jonathan do?

00:36:25.720 --> 00:36:29.440
 He actually, he does this great thing, which he's trying to stay in between both.

00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:32.679
 He's still honoring his dad, but then he's also trying to protect his friend.

00:36:33.599 --> 00:36:41.980
 And so 1 Samuel 19 to 20, he's basically talking to David about how he can protect him, how he's going to receive intel and help him and protect him and those kinds of things.

00:36:42.200 --> 00:36:44.900
 And then there's this passage later on, 1 Samuel 23.

00:36:45.059 --> 00:36:47.960
 If you're just in your Bibles, I want you just to follow along with me.

00:36:48.360 --> 00:36:51.400
 1 Samuel 20, they make a covenant with each other.

00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:58.820
 So chapter 20, verse 4, Jonathan says to David, whatever you say, I will do for you.

00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:00.720
 Man, having that kind of friend.

00:37:01.099 --> 00:37:04.480
 And we've had so many of those friends even this week.

00:37:04.539 --> 00:37:05.260
 Hey, what do you need?

00:37:05.700 --> 00:37:06.139
 I'll come.

00:37:07.179 --> 00:37:09.380
 6.30, I need to wake up to come and get your kids.

00:37:09.460 --> 00:37:09.800
 I'll come.

00:37:10.579 --> 00:37:12.539
 I need to come pick you up from the hospital.

00:37:12.659 --> 00:37:12.980
 I'll come.

00:37:13.820 --> 00:37:14.960
 Whatever you say, I'll do for you.

00:37:15.099 --> 00:37:17.059
 Can we be those kinds of friends to each other?

00:37:17.059 --> 00:37:21.840
 And can we actually build that kind of relationship here?

00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:26.720
 And then chapter 20, verse 15, they make a covenant with each other.

00:37:26.840 --> 00:37:31.519
 And Jonathan says, hey, if I'm still alive, show me the steadfast love of the Lord that I may not die.

00:37:31.700 --> 00:37:39.240
 And do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever when the Lord cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth.

00:37:39.340 --> 00:37:40.460
 So they make a covenant together.

00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:43.740
 Jonathan's like, hey, hey, don't forget me when I die.

00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:48.140
 If I die, doing whatever I'm doing, don't cut off my house.

00:37:48.139 --> 00:37:54.279
 And actually what's going to happen is if my dad dies and my kingdom falls and David, you're going to be king.

00:37:54.500 --> 00:38:03.779
 Actually, the next thing that you should be doing that every king before you has done is to hunt down all of my family and kill all of my family to make sure that no one comes to fight against you.

00:38:04.679 --> 00:38:06.079
 But don't cut off the steadfast love.

00:38:06.139 --> 00:38:07.900
 That's the covenant that they make together.

00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:11.159
 And chapter 23, David's in the wilderness.

00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:12.920
 He's in the wilderness.

00:38:13.219 --> 00:38:14.619
 He's running away from Saul.

00:38:15.379 --> 00:38:17.699
 And actually people are betraying him left, right and center.

00:38:17.699 --> 00:38:19.239
 They're telling Saul where David is.

00:38:19.879 --> 00:38:21.960
 And then Jonathan does this incredible thing.

00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:25.199
 1 Samuel 23 verse 15.

00:38:27.500 --> 00:38:28.819
 23 verse 15.

00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:31.399
 David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life.

00:38:32.259 --> 00:38:34.500
 David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh.

00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:42.059
 And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh and strengthened his hand in God.

00:38:43.859 --> 00:38:45.099
 And strengthened his hand.

00:38:45.099 --> 00:38:46.619
 So David's on the run.

00:38:46.619 --> 00:38:48.480
 People are betraying him.

00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:50.719
 He doesn't know who to trust anymore.

00:38:51.679 --> 00:39:03.980
 Jonathan in the palace hears about this and leaves and rises and goes to the wilderness to find David and strengthens his hand in God and encourages him and points him to God.

00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:05.739
 What a friend that is.

00:39:05.739 --> 00:39:14.099
 Who's had a friend that has gone out of their way when you were in the wilderness has come to find you in the wilderness and to strengthen your hand in God.

00:39:14.319 --> 00:39:14.779
 Put your hand up.

00:39:14.979 --> 00:39:16.159
 Put your hand up if you've had that friend.

00:39:17.359 --> 00:39:19.739
 Man, those are good friends.

00:39:19.739 --> 00:39:28.019
 Those are essential for us on this journey of life because we are all in the wilderness at some point.

00:39:28.899 --> 00:39:36.899
 And yet we have this friend who left the comfort of his palace and goes out of his way to find you and to strengthen you.

00:39:37.079 --> 00:39:38.019
 And what does he say?

00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:38.979
 Do not fear.

00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:39.599
 Verse 17.

00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:42.400
 For the hand of Saul, my father, shall not find you.

00:39:43.019 --> 00:39:46.460
 You shall be king over Israel and I shall be next to you.

00:39:47.139 --> 00:39:48.380
 Doesn't that blow your mind?

00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:51.079
 I'm supposed to be king.

00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:56.279
 Actually, if I just stayed in my palace, I could be king because my dad could kill you.

00:39:56.460 --> 00:40:01.920
 And actually, whatever promises we made back then, whatever hand signs we made back then, we can forget about that because I can be king now.

00:40:02.980 --> 00:40:03.699
 But yeah, he says, no.

00:40:03.699 --> 00:40:06.379
 No, I'm going to go out of my way.

00:40:06.439 --> 00:40:08.519
 I'm going to come and find you myself in the wilderness.

00:40:08.879 --> 00:40:11.159
 I'm going to remind you, do not fear.

00:40:11.879 --> 00:40:14.399
 You shall be king over Israel and I shall be next to you.

00:40:14.779 --> 00:40:15.559
 I won't be king.

00:40:15.899 --> 00:40:16.439
 You will be king.

00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:17.919
 He reminds David of the truth.

00:40:18.199 --> 00:40:21.159
 He reminds David of what God has promised him.

00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:27.259
 Do you have that friend who reminds you of God's promises on your life?

00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:31.000
 Some of you are here, even in Hong Kong, you're pursuing a dream.

00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:36.820
 You're pursuing something and actually you have landmarks so you remember why God has brought you here.

00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:37.780
 But sometimes you forget.

00:40:37.880 --> 00:40:38.619
 Sometimes I forget.

00:40:39.099 --> 00:40:42.039
 Do you have that friend who reminds you, hey, this was God's truth.

00:40:42.260 --> 00:40:44.519
 This remains to be God's truth on your life.

00:40:44.860 --> 00:40:47.079
 And because you need that friend.

00:40:47.260 --> 00:40:49.559
 And if you don't have that friend, you need to ask for that friend.

00:40:49.679 --> 00:40:56.300
 You can actually, just like Sean, reach out to God and go, hey, we need to be more than just acquaintances here.

00:40:56.980 --> 00:40:57.960
 I want to hold you accountable.

00:40:58.039 --> 00:40:59.840
 I want to remind you of the truths of God.

00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:04.720
 Do you have that friend who strengthens you, strengthens his hand in God?

00:41:05.160 --> 00:41:06.180
 It's just this beautiful thing.

00:41:06.280 --> 00:41:09.660
 Proverbs 17, 17 says, a friend loves at all times.

00:41:09.940 --> 00:41:11.980
 A brother is born for adversity.

00:41:12.740 --> 00:41:14.600
 He goes out of his way.

00:41:14.920 --> 00:41:17.660
 Because unfortunately, friendship costs something.

00:41:18.900 --> 00:41:19.620
 It costs something.

00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:21.480
 Most of all, often it costs time.

00:41:23.079 --> 00:41:26.280
 Those of you who came to visit me in the hospital, you didn't need to come to the hospital.

00:41:26.280 --> 00:41:31.120
 And the sanatorium is an inconvenient place to try and find your way there.

00:41:31.740 --> 00:41:33.880
 Unless you have a doctor's parking space like Dr. Alex.

00:41:34.980 --> 00:41:35.780
 Then you're all good.

00:41:37.560 --> 00:41:38.320
 Friendship costs.

00:41:39.700 --> 00:41:40.960
 Because we say we want friendship.

00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:43.420
 And we say we want these things.

00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:45.060
 And we want these people who would do these things for us.

00:41:45.059 --> 00:41:46.559
 But often we're like, oh, but I'm tired.

00:41:48.039 --> 00:41:48.739
 And that's what Gav said.

00:41:48.799 --> 00:41:49.259
 Showing up.

00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:50.960
 Showing up is important.

00:41:51.059 --> 00:41:53.079
 Even when you don't feel like, you know, no, I'm going to show up.

00:41:53.139 --> 00:41:57.679
 Because, well, this is what I want friends to do for me too.

00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:00.219
 But you don't do it from that idea.

00:42:00.279 --> 00:42:02.659
 And you see, this is the idea that actually the world has lost.

00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:04.320
 This covenantal relationship.

00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:10.120
 We have these user-based relationships where we will network with one another.

00:42:10.260 --> 00:42:16.580
 And we will keep going on this merry-go-round with people who we think can help us in some way to further something, to get somewhere.

00:42:17.539 --> 00:42:18.700
 But those will change.

00:42:19.380 --> 00:42:23.039
 But a covenantal one is going, hey, I see your love for God.

00:42:24.200 --> 00:42:25.360
 And I want to be part of that.

00:42:26.460 --> 00:42:29.340
 And I want to be the one that helps you when you're in the wilderness.

00:42:29.980 --> 00:42:31.140
 Even if you're God's chosen one.

00:42:31.140 --> 00:42:33.840
 Can you imagine David being God's chosen one?

00:42:34.539 --> 00:42:35.640
 I feel this sometimes.

00:42:35.720 --> 00:42:37.920
 I'm like, oh, man, God, why did you ask me to do all these things?

00:42:38.059 --> 00:42:40.120
 And with all these things come all these challenges.

00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:43.360
 Like, maybe it's better to just be a lukewarm Christian.

00:42:44.500 --> 00:42:50.300
 Maybe it's better if I just keep my head low and just kind of pretend to follow Jesus but not.

00:42:50.380 --> 00:42:53.940
 Then the enemy won't really pay me much attention.

00:42:54.760 --> 00:42:56.580
 I can imagine David just going, I don't want to be king.

00:42:56.680 --> 00:42:57.000
 You know what?

00:42:57.019 --> 00:42:57.300
 I'm done.

00:42:58.180 --> 00:42:59.480
 I don't want to be the chosen one.

00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:08.940
 And then his friend comes, seeks him out in the wilderness, goes out of his way and says, you will be king and I will be next to you.

00:43:10.619 --> 00:43:14.480
 There's a friend that we all need who can remind us of that.

00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:18.639
 And it's a covenantal friendship and it's not a user-based one.

00:43:19.320 --> 00:43:23.099
 The other thing is for a friendship to really work, it can't just be about the friendship.

00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:24.460
 It can't just be about them two.

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.659
 The reason why a spiritual, godly, biblical friendship works is because there's something bigger.

00:43:30.599 --> 00:43:31.420
 C.S. Lewis says this.

00:43:31.480 --> 00:43:34.000
 And C.S. Lewis is fascinating because he had a great friendship.

00:43:34.760 --> 00:43:35.360
 Who was his friend?

00:43:35.420 --> 00:43:35.860
 Does anyone know?

00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:37.120
 Tolkien.

00:43:38.200 --> 00:43:44.120
 So Tolkien actually went to my school back in Birmingham and he was a Christ follower.

00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:45.820
 And of course he wrote The Lord of the Rings.

00:43:46.519 --> 00:43:50.640
 And then he meets Clive Staples Lewis.

00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:52.980
 And actually he's an atheist.

00:43:53.720 --> 00:43:55.000
 And then they spend time talking.

00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:58.880
 The two of them completely change the fantasy genre in literature, right?

00:43:59.140 --> 00:43:59.539
 Completely.

00:43:59.539 --> 00:44:03.059
 And so these two end up starting to talk.

00:44:03.480 --> 00:44:08.900
 And then what happens is Tolkien starts to answer a lot of the questions that C.S. Lewis had.

00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:13.300
 And of course C.S. Lewis becomes one of the prominent writers of Christian literature here.

00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:16.619
 And he says this interesting thing, which sounds a little bit harsh, so bear with me.

00:44:16.699 --> 00:44:21.019
 But I promise you it has a somewhat encouraging reminder at the end.

00:44:21.279 --> 00:44:21.820
 He says this.

00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:27.739
 That is why those pathetic people who simply want friends can never make any.

00:44:27.739 --> 00:44:33.000
 The very condition of having friends is that we should want something else besides friends.

00:44:33.619 --> 00:44:38.859
 Where the truthful answer to the question, do you see the same truth, would be, I see nothing and I don't care about the truth.

00:44:38.919 --> 00:44:39.739
 I only want friendship.

00:44:40.739 --> 00:44:42.259
 No real friendship can arise.

00:44:42.959 --> 00:44:45.039
 There would be nothing for the friendship to be about.

00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:47.439
 Those who have nothing can share nothing.

00:44:48.059 --> 00:44:51.259
 Those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers.

00:44:51.260 --> 00:44:58.480
 Those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers.

00:45:01.220 --> 00:45:08.500
 The kind of friendship we're going for here isn't the type of friend who watches Brooklyn Nine-Nine with you,

00:45:08.580 --> 00:45:10.580
 so has the same kind of sense of humor as you.

00:45:10.579 --> 00:45:17.940
 It's the kind of friendship where we are all sojourning together towards God and like, man, I want to go with you.

00:45:18.139 --> 00:45:19.960
 I need to go with you.

00:45:20.159 --> 00:45:22.639
 That's the kind of friendship that we're looking for here.

00:45:22.659 --> 00:45:26.739
 And your friendship has to be bigger than just the two of you.

00:45:27.420 --> 00:45:28.159
 That's what it is.

00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:30.159
 Friends let you in, but they won't let you down.

00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:33.759
 Now, when I say don't let you down, it doesn't mean they're perfect.

00:45:34.220 --> 00:45:38.400
 We all have friends and we all know people who have let us down in some way.

00:45:38.660 --> 00:45:39.620
 It's not about that.

00:45:39.720 --> 00:45:41.220
 We are not looking for perfect friendships.

00:45:41.520 --> 00:45:47.740
 Every person, every single person you meet here will not be perfect and will let you down and will annoy you in some way.

00:45:48.340 --> 00:45:52.300
 When I say friends let you in and they don't let you down, it's that they are there for you.

00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:55.280
 It's, hey, I may not be perfect.

00:45:55.420 --> 00:45:56.540
 I may not even know what to say.

00:45:57.880 --> 00:45:58.800
 But I'm going to be there.

00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:01.360
 I'm just going to be there.

00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:02.920
 I might be speechless.

00:46:02.920 --> 00:46:06.000
 I might only be able to take you out for lunch because there's nothing else I can do here.

00:46:06.240 --> 00:46:08.480
 I can't help you, but I'm just going to be there.

00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:14.659
 We're not looking for perfect friendships, but we're looking for friends who let you in and do not let you down.

00:46:14.700 --> 00:46:15.840
 I want to finish with this story here.

00:46:15.980 --> 00:46:18.119
 And this is the bit that really blew my mind.

00:46:18.760 --> 00:46:20.159
 Maybe part of it was the meds as well.

00:46:20.380 --> 00:46:24.619
 But so Jonathan makes David promise.

00:46:24.740 --> 00:46:28.240
 Hey, when you're king, look after my family.

00:46:29.700 --> 00:46:31.180
 Years later, Saul dies.

00:46:31.179 --> 00:46:33.119
 Jonathan dies.

00:46:34.259 --> 00:46:35.099
 David is king.

00:46:36.639 --> 00:46:38.799
 And there's this fascinating passage.

00:46:38.919 --> 00:46:40.179
 If you jump to 2 Samuel now.

00:46:40.739 --> 00:46:41.259
 2 Samuel.

00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:43.839
 Chapter 9.

00:46:44.460 --> 00:46:45.559
 2 Samuel chapter 9.

00:46:46.879 --> 00:46:47.980
 David says this.

00:46:47.980 --> 00:47:04.619
 Again, David actually can hunt all of Saul's descendants down and say, I'm going to kill you all because I don't want any uprising to come back.

00:47:04.619 --> 00:47:10.279
 You see this in all the Chinese TVB shows of the ancient times where it's all about just revenge.

00:47:10.579 --> 00:47:12.960
 He's saying, actually, if there's one way I can stop this, I'm going to kill all of you.

00:47:14.039 --> 00:47:23.339
 But David here remembers his covenant to Jonathan, remembers his friendship, and he says, is there still anyone left of the house of Saul that I may show him kindness for Jonathan's sake?

00:47:23.340 --> 00:47:24.960
 And there was.

00:47:25.600 --> 00:47:26.780
 Jonathan had a son.

00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:29.920
 Jonathan had a son that was in hiding.

00:47:30.620 --> 00:47:32.380
 His name was Mephibosheth.

00:47:33.019 --> 00:47:33.539
 Mephibosheth.

00:47:33.620 --> 00:47:35.000
 We're just going to call him M from now on.

00:47:38.039 --> 00:47:39.460
 M was in hiding.

00:47:40.500 --> 00:47:44.620
 M heard about his dad dying on the battlefield.

00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:46.660
 Heard about his grandfather Saul dying.

00:47:47.559 --> 00:47:51.519
 Surely everyone around M is like, dude, you best get away.

00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:53.379
 It's not looking good for you.

00:47:53.859 --> 00:47:56.539
 What's worse, M was a cripple.

00:47:57.879 --> 00:48:02.399
 M's like, I want to get away, but I'm not going to be able to get away.

00:48:03.440 --> 00:48:11.079
 It's kind of like when Ellen was putting cake on my face last night in the cake fight and attacking the defenseless.

00:48:11.079 --> 00:48:17.239
 He was like, I can't get away.

00:48:18.460 --> 00:48:19.679
 And anyway, David's summoning me.

00:48:19.799 --> 00:48:20.900
 And so David finds him.

00:48:21.159 --> 00:48:22.319
 And then he finds him.

00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:24.299
 And verse four says this.

00:48:24.460 --> 00:48:26.219
 David says, the king said to him, where is he?

00:48:26.860 --> 00:48:30.699
 And then he replied, he's in the house of Machia, the son of Amiel at Lodabar.

00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:31.840
 So they get him.

00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:39.319
 And verse six, and Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage.

00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:41.440
 And David said, Mephibosheth.

00:48:41.700 --> 00:48:43.340
 And he answered, behold, I am your servant.

00:48:43.460 --> 00:48:48.760
 And then David said to him, verse seven, do not fear for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father, Jonathan.

00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:54.320
 And I will restore to you all the land of Saul, your father, and you shall eat at my table always.

00:48:55.780 --> 00:49:00.700
 And he paid homage and said, what is your servant that you should show regard for a dead dog such as this?

00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:03.840
 Can you imagine what M is going through?

00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:06.180
 Hey, King David is looking for you.

00:49:06.600 --> 00:49:07.120
 Crap.

00:49:07.119 --> 00:49:10.480
 He's going to find, okay, he's found me.

00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:12.039
 He takes me to him.

00:49:12.519 --> 00:49:15.639
 First thing I'll do is fall flat on my face because I'm like, this guy's going to kill me.

00:49:17.799 --> 00:49:21.199
 And then David says, hey, you're safe here.

00:49:22.779 --> 00:49:23.679
 I was your dad's friend.

00:49:25.359 --> 00:49:30.019
 And actually, all the land that your grandfather and your dad had, I'm going to give to you.

00:49:30.539 --> 00:49:31.559
 I'm not going to kill you.

00:49:31.559 --> 00:49:33.420
 In fact, it's quite the opposite.

00:49:34.219 --> 00:49:36.079
 You're going to have a seat at my table.

00:49:37.119 --> 00:49:37.440
 Always.

00:49:40.239 --> 00:49:40.639
 Always.

00:49:42.159 --> 00:49:46.199
 And then M just, he doesn't even know what he said, but I'm just a dead dog.

00:49:46.539 --> 00:49:47.799
 Why would you do this?

00:49:48.799 --> 00:49:50.360
 Why would you do this for me?

00:49:50.360 --> 00:49:56.960
 It's because of the covenant relationship that Jonathan and David had.

00:49:58.579 --> 00:50:01.920
 That's the kind of friendship that David isn't afraid of what might happen.

00:50:01.920 --> 00:50:06.099
 But he had a promise to his friend, to his bro.

00:50:07.680 --> 00:50:11.619
 And now this son who could threaten his kingdom, he's like, no, you're going to eat at my table always.

00:50:11.700 --> 00:50:13.659
 And I want to give you what is yours.

00:50:15.240 --> 00:50:16.119
 That's the kind of friendship.

00:50:16.220 --> 00:50:20.680
 The problem is, I don't think many of us, I definitely am not capable of this kind of friendship.

00:50:20.679 --> 00:50:25.639
 His grandfather chased me into the wilderness for years trying to kill me.

00:50:26.139 --> 00:50:28.199
 Now I have a chance to cut it all off completely.

00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:29.440
 And this guy is deflensis.

00:50:29.839 --> 00:50:31.059
 He's not going to give me any problems.

00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:33.039
 Actually, if he dies, no one will even remember.

00:50:34.839 --> 00:50:36.679
 And yet he's going to eat at my table always.

00:50:38.139 --> 00:50:39.799
 How do you have that kind of friendship?

00:50:40.019 --> 00:50:42.739
 How do we be those kind of friends to each other?

00:50:42.779 --> 00:50:43.399
 I'll tell you why.

00:50:43.719 --> 00:50:44.359
 I'll tell you how.

00:50:45.099 --> 00:50:47.559
 When we realize that we are all M.

00:50:47.559 --> 00:50:49.299
 We are all Mephibosheth.

00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:54.359
 We are all people who cannot save ourselves.

00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:57.159
 We are all lame and crippled.

00:50:57.719 --> 00:50:59.299
 We are all in hiding.

00:50:59.599 --> 00:51:02.039
 We are all separated from the king.

00:51:02.279 --> 00:51:07.960
 Yet Jesus comes to us and says, you will have a seat at my table.

00:51:08.699 --> 00:51:10.059
 You don't deserve it.

00:51:11.399 --> 00:51:14.359
 But you will have a seat at my table because I paid for it.

00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:19.299
 If that doesn't move your heart, I pray.

00:51:20.679 --> 00:51:23.179
 You'll mull over this and pray over this this next week.

00:51:23.579 --> 00:51:26.519
 How do we become the friends that the Bible talks about?

00:51:27.519 --> 00:51:31.440
 By remembering that we weren't supposed to be friends with God.

00:51:32.199 --> 00:51:34.379
 And yet he invited us to our table.

00:51:34.460 --> 00:51:38.339
 And if he invited us to his table, we'll invite anyone to our table.

00:51:39.599 --> 00:51:40.379
 That's the gospel.

00:51:40.380 --> 00:51:42.780
 That's the gospel right there.

00:51:42.900 --> 00:51:44.360
 We are all Mephibosheth.

00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:52.340
 But because of a friendship, because of a covenant made, because a prince took off his robe and put it around us.

00:51:54.119 --> 00:51:56.660
 Because he subjected himself to the sword.

00:51:57.760 --> 00:51:58.980
 We get to be princes.

00:51:59.599 --> 00:52:00.940
 We get to sit at the table.

00:52:01.140 --> 00:52:01.599
 We don't deserve it.

00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:02.920
 We need help sitting at the table.

00:52:03.260 --> 00:52:05.160
 Mephibosheth was crippled in both legs.

00:52:05.159 --> 00:52:06.519
 He needed help to get to the table.

00:52:06.940 --> 00:52:11.039
 And yet Jesus scooped down and does it for us in the same way.

00:52:12.339 --> 00:52:17.719
 I hope that inspires you to go out and reach out to the people who need friends.

00:52:18.659 --> 00:52:20.079
 That we gather and then we scatter.

00:52:20.219 --> 00:52:22.659
 Because we are recipients of that.

00:52:22.739 --> 00:52:23.339
 John 15.

00:52:23.859 --> 00:52:25.639
 Jesus says, there is no greater love than this.

00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:28.239
 That someone would lay down their lives for their friends.

00:52:28.239 --> 00:52:30.459
 And then he says, I have chosen you.

00:52:31.299 --> 00:52:32.599
 I have chosen you.

00:52:34.199 --> 00:52:39.019
 And it makes me think, maybe that's why we're here.

00:52:39.899 --> 00:52:47.079
 Maybe in this time, the Lord has chosen us to be the kind of friends that we're supposed to be.

00:52:47.479 --> 00:52:48.679
 I'll finish with one last quote.

00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:52.099
 Again, it's C.S. Lewis.

00:52:53.639 --> 00:52:55.979
 In friendship, we think we have chosen our peers.

00:52:55.980 --> 00:53:01.579
 In reality, a few years difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses,

00:53:02.039 --> 00:53:04.380
 the choice of one university instead of another,

00:53:04.820 --> 00:53:08.199
 the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting,

00:53:08.619 --> 00:53:11.880
 any of these chances might have kept us apart.

00:53:12.360 --> 00:53:17.139
 But for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances.

00:53:18.219 --> 00:53:20.679
 A secret master of ceremonies has been at work.

00:53:21.099 --> 00:53:24.940
 Christ, who said to the disciples, you have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,

00:53:24.940 --> 00:53:27.860
 can truly say to every group of Christian friends,

00:53:28.079 --> 00:53:32.940
 you have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.

00:53:34.679 --> 00:53:37.400
 Do you realize that just, it's not a coincidence.

00:53:37.559 --> 00:53:41.320
 Do you realize that we're all sat here because God has chosen us to be a community,

00:53:41.599 --> 00:53:43.320
 to be his body together?

00:53:43.320 --> 00:53:47.800
 Can we have the heart for one another where we look at each other and go,

00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:49.260
 actually, if you're hurting, I'm with you.

00:53:50.120 --> 00:53:53.740
 I'll tell you right now, my left Achilles is in pain because it's not,

00:53:54.559 --> 00:53:58.240
 it's only just been repaired, but that's affected every part of my body.

00:53:58.320 --> 00:54:00.519
 I've got a wristband because I'm doing this.

00:54:00.680 --> 00:54:02.440
 My knee on my right, I'm putting here.

00:54:02.640 --> 00:54:05.600
 I've got an ankle support on my right because I'm overcompensating

00:54:05.600 --> 00:54:07.539
 because of the weakness of this left Achilles.

00:54:07.539 --> 00:54:13.139
 As we, as a body, can we look at each other and go, okay, you're hurting.

00:54:14.400 --> 00:54:16.300
 I'm going to come around you.

00:54:17.659 --> 00:54:18.519
 I'm going to support you.

00:54:18.559 --> 00:54:22.340
 I'm going to go out of my way to support you.

00:54:23.920 --> 00:54:25.719
 That's the kind of friendship that we're praying for.

00:54:26.480 --> 00:54:28.860
 That's the kind of community that we wish to be.

00:54:31.400 --> 00:54:32.960
 Once again, I've ran out of time here.

00:54:32.960 --> 00:54:35.679
 Can I just finish this in a word of prayer?

00:54:37.360 --> 00:54:39.280
 Actually, can I ask you to ask God yourself?

00:54:40.659 --> 00:54:44.220
 Who are the people that he's placed in front of you right here, right now?

00:54:45.539 --> 00:54:47.760
 I mean, maybe just do a look now.

00:54:47.820 --> 00:54:48.619
 Just look around you.

00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:51.199
 Who are the people who are right here, right now?

00:54:51.460 --> 00:54:51.980
 Well, okay.

00:54:52.840 --> 00:54:55.720
 It would have been one change and we would not even be here.

00:54:56.760 --> 00:54:57.960
 That you and I would not be friends.

00:54:57.960 --> 00:55:04.079
 Look at John and think about the things that happen for us to be friends,

00:55:04.260 --> 00:55:05.559
 for us to be friends.

00:55:06.500 --> 00:55:07.340
 And yet we're here.

00:55:09.240 --> 00:55:10.659
 And we have no choice in the matter.

00:55:12.300 --> 00:55:14.780
 But we can choose how we respond to each other.

00:55:15.340 --> 00:55:17.559
 How we become friends to one another.

00:55:18.760 --> 00:55:20.980
 Can we spend 60 seconds?

00:55:21.760 --> 00:55:23.079
 It's not enough, but God is powerful.

00:55:23.079 --> 00:55:28.059
 Lord, who are the people that you've placed around me right here, right now,

00:55:28.819 --> 00:55:30.179
 who I need to take that step with?

00:55:32.139 --> 00:55:33.239
 Who do I need to let in?

00:55:35.739 --> 00:55:37.039
 And who can I not let down?

00:55:45.099 --> 00:55:47.920
 Lord, we all come to you as Mephibosheth.

00:55:50.920 --> 00:55:52.619
 Unable to get to you, cripple.

00:55:53.819 --> 00:55:55.960
 Fearful, hiding, separated.

00:56:06.880 --> 00:56:09.380
 Singing the song yesterday, goodness of God on that bridge,

00:56:10.039 --> 00:56:12.840
 that your goodness is running after us.

00:56:14.420 --> 00:56:20.460
 It was beautiful in the sense that it reminded me

00:56:20.460 --> 00:56:25.400
 that we've been invited to your table and then we were helped up there.

00:56:25.900 --> 00:56:28.159
 We have no business being there.

00:56:28.539 --> 00:56:32.639
 Yet you said we are no longer your servants, but we are your friends.

00:56:33.059 --> 00:56:34.500
 And you laid down your life for us.

00:56:35.360 --> 00:56:38.240
 And so we are forever grateful because we should be as dead dogs.

00:56:38.900 --> 00:56:39.780
 And yet we are not.

00:56:39.860 --> 00:56:42.199
 We have a seat at the king's table.

00:56:42.199 --> 00:56:47.139
 Surely your goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives,

00:56:47.159 --> 00:56:48.960
 even when we can't pursue you.

00:56:50.259 --> 00:56:51.419
 Thank you for that good news.

00:56:52.460 --> 00:56:55.739
 And now show us how to be friends to one another.

00:56:55.739 --> 00:57:00.159
 Show us how to love one another as we have been loved by you.

00:57:06.899 --> 00:57:08.119
 What do you have for us here?

00:57:08.219 --> 00:57:09.839
 As Gab said, what do you have for us here?

00:57:11.479 --> 00:57:12.339
 Would you show us, Lord?

00:57:12.979 --> 00:57:15.399
 Would you remove any fear or anxiety or laziness?

00:57:15.400 --> 00:57:18.800
 What do you have for us here?

00:57:18.860 --> 00:57:19.820
 We make room for you.

00:57:21.380 --> 00:57:23.059
 And for the friendships that you ordain.

00:57:26.019 --> 00:57:26.660
 Thank you, Lord.

00:57:32.760 --> 00:57:36.019
 Show us and let us not just be hearers of the word.

00:57:36.099 --> 00:57:36.680
 Let us be doers.

00:57:36.760 --> 00:57:37.660
 Let us act right now.

00:57:37.660 --> 00:57:45.000
 Let us be laser focused in how we make friends.

00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:49.280
 Thank you, Lord.

00:57:49.960 --> 00:57:50.740
 In your name we pray.

00:57:51.740 --> 00:57:52.059
 Amen.