In Titus chapter 2.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine.
! Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love and in steadfastness.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.
They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be reviled.
Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works,
and in your teaching show integrity, dignity and sound speech that cannot be condemned,
so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
Bond servants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything.
They are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith,
so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour.
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people,
training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions,
and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age,
waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ,
who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness,
and to purify for himself a people for his own possession,
who are zealous for good works.
My name's Dave, I'm the pastor here, if you're visiting.
You're joining us on the last of a five-week series on men and women,
so I'm sorry I won't be able to give full context,
but just to give you a little bit of bearing of what we're doing today.
All right, well, why don't we come to God's Word?
Let's pray before we do that.
Lord, with everything going on in the world,
and whatever's going on in our personal lives,
we thank you for the truth that we just sang about,
that you are reigning,
and that your agenda for the world will prevail in the end.
You guarantee it.
You've guaranteed it by your blood and your resurrection.
So we praise you for that.
Lord, as we come to your Word,
help us trust that your agenda for our lives is good
and is working towards that same goal
of all of us knowing and being like you.
So give us humility and understanding as we come to your Word.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Well, there is a pattern of life.
I'm going to get rid of this.
Hold on.
I've just got this alien staring at me with these little lights.
There is a pattern of life as men and women that is fitting,
that is the fruit of healthy doctrine or truth.
In our passage, Titus 2, verse 1,
teach what accords with sound doctrine.
There is a way of life that goes with Jesus is Lord, believing that.
And these character qualities, Titus is told to teach.
In his own day,
that's right, little Albie,
in his own day,
if Titus didn't teach it,
they would just conform to their society in Crete.
In our own day,
if we don't listen to what this pattern of life is,
our society will teach us.
We need to hear this.
These descriptions that we're going to look at this morning,
they're not premium add-ons
that you can add to your Christian walk.
They're not extras.
These are things for all of us.
They're grace in Jesus, belonging to him.
They don't just make these character qualities possible,
but we're being urged they're necessary.
We're to strive for them.
Now, just to confuse you all,
I'm going to turn to a completely different passage.
I want to start a bit more broadly,
a few pages back,
in 1 Timothy 2,
verses 8 to 10,
because it speaks to women and men more generally.
And then we're going to come back to Titus,
where it gets a bit more age-specific even.
So, 1 Timothy 2, 8 to 10.
I desire then that in every place
the men should pray,
lifting holy hands without anger or quarrelling.
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves
in respectable apparel,
with modesty and self-control,
not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,
but with what is proper for women who profess godliness,
with good works.
Our society has some sort of gender stereotype
of a real man,
probably physical strength,
into sports,
got a bunch of mates,
job titles, money.
Our society can even go a bit deeper and go,
there's such a thing as a good man.
He sacrifices for his family.
He gives back to the community.
But Scripture is calling us to something deeper,
not just good men,
godly men.
There's a focus in here on hands.
Godly men's hands aren't clenched to fight,
whether literally or metaphorically.
So there's something about the nature of men
that we're prone to fight,
to argue with each other.
Men's hands aren't clisped.
They're lifted up.
Now, there's lots of postures of prayer in the Bible,
but they're lifted up,
holy hands in prayer.
Now, there's something very vulnerable about that.
You're not defending yourself as a man.
There's something very humble about that.
It's not self in your own ego.
You're saying there's someone greater.
There's something that creates peace and unity about that.
Men aren't jostling for position
and that their will prevails in a certain situation.
They're praying for God's will to prevail,
his power to manifest.
The older I get, the more...
This is my observation.
See if you agree with me or not.
Reputation means a lot to us men, the older I get.
And look out.
If you slightly offend a man that they're somehow weak
or they're wrong,
it's very easy to slight a man's reputation
and we just get into arguments,
even in churches, even in elderships.
I think our eldership is healthy at the moment, by the way.
That wasn't a subtle jab at our eldership.
The sinful desires for our own reputation
are to be replaced with wanting God's name,
his reputation to be known.
Godly men are men of prayer.
I love King Jehoshaphat.
I don't know if that's how you say his name.
His prayer...
Jerusalem was surrounded by an army
and he was overwhelmed.
He's just like, I don't know what to do.
And he doesn't withdraw from that.
He doesn't crumble.
He leads his people.
He leads his people,
but he does it by praying.
And I love his prayer.
We do not know what to do.
Our eyes are on you.
That's godly male leadership.
I'm not self-reliant here.
I don't know what I'm doing,
but my eyes are on you.
Your will be done.
I think that's the kind of posture of prayer
that we're called to here in Timothy.
Not self-reliant men who use prayer as a last resort.
And I'm talking to myself here.
Don't you try everything and then,
okay, all right, I suppose I should pray.
Imagine if we became men who go to prayer
as a first resort and then decide what steps to take.
Now, I'm not saying we don't do it.
We do do this.
Let's do it more and more.
I'm guessing we're all feeling pretty convicted
about our prayer life.
But I think that's the beauty of friendships in the church,
of being older and younger all together.
because we can just copy you older guys.
You older guys who have years of learning how to pray,
just copy their prayers.
Copy their phrases.
They're usually just copying Scripture in their prayers anyway.
There's no problem plagiarizing them.
Let's follow the godly examples
and learn to be praying like this.
Make us men of prayer.
Please, Lord.
And our society has gender stereotypes
around beauty for women still.
Still today, all those celebrities and fashion magazines,
I don't think they're aimed at us men.
They're aimed at you women to be competing with one another.
Society still puts huge pressure on women.
You don't have to just be talented and skilled.
You've got to be wearing a great outfit
while you are talented and pretty.
What are teenage girls learning?
You walk down the street and your nostrils are just assaulted by perfume.
Girls, don't you know?
What are we teaching the next generation?
Don't they know their value in the image of God?
The message at school and those ads where you've got the competent woman on her own
who's climbed a mountain and looks stunning.
She can do anything.
She's a self-reliant woman.
There's a message in our society, I think, today that you can be anything.
You can have that great career.
You can be prime minister while juggling the children
and you have to look beautiful while doing it all.
I think it's a huge burden that is placed on women today.
Well, I suppose it's all the time, isn't it?
Because even back in Paul's day.
Now, I don't think this is saying that you can't enjoy wearing clothes
that actually coordinate.
You don't have to...
Maybe I shouldn't...
I keep pulling out of things, don't I?
I was going to say...
Everyone was curious last time.
I was going to say denim on denim.
So I'm really nervous if someone's wearing denim on denim today.
You're very welcome.
Who cares what you're wearing?
Look, similar to men who are prone to jostling for position and power,
I think this is speaking into women not jostling for competition
of that ideal picture of the beautiful woman.
In the end, if you strive for the external only,
it really reveals an internal restlessness,
a restless soul that doesn't know its worth.
But Jesus can tell the soul of women,
you are desired as you are so much
that I gave up my life to have you.
Now, if that doesn't fill the soul of you women,
clothes aren't going to do it.
Jesus' good works, I think,
then replace the idea of what is really stunning.
It fills the imagination of godly women,
of what your life should be filled with,
not spending so much money on fashion and things,
but clothing with good works,
compassion for the helpless and sacrificial day in,
day out, unappreciated service.
His good works become,
that's the stunning woman.
So there we have a portrait of godly men and godly women.
So turning back to Titus chapter 2,
we get a portrait for older men and women
and younger men and women.
I think these descriptions
are explaining the same principle for all of us.
In chapter 2, verse 12,
that we are to say no to ungodliness
and worldly desires
and learn to live self-controlled,
upright, godly lives in this present age.
I think there's a principle implied in this whole section.
We don't grow in godliness on our own.
Just learning doctrine,
as important as that is,
isn't enough to grow in godliness.
We actually grow in community.
There is an enormous power
of being in community
to shape us and mould us.
We need the influence of older saints
to set an example
and teach the younger.
I think that's why
older women are to teach the younger women.
There's a calling there.
It's probably not that younger men
can only handle one thing.
Like, young guys, come on,
just try and be self-controlled.
That's all you can hear.
I think it's more
older men
in the church,
if they are
demonstrating faith
and love
and endurance,
that's going to benefit the younger men
to learn from their example.
It may explain,
this principle of the older teaching the younger
might explain
why the older women
are singled out
for don't be addicted
to wine
and slander
because
same for elder qualifications
earlier in chapter one,
you're a role model.
You're an example.
You have a great position
of influence.
We need that older,
younger
relationship in the church.
That's why we're so committed
to it
as a church,
that intergenerational
churching.
It's how we thrive.
I think it challenges
our,
a bit of our
evangelical church
professionalism.
By all means,
come and talk
to Chez and I
when you want
to,
want help in life,
but actually,
it's a call
on all of us
to be involved
in each other's lives.
We need the older
with the younger.
It's assuming
friendship
and involvement,
serving
side by side
and you,
so getting into
some of the instructions
then,
some of the,
I think it's a portrait
that he's painting.
This isn't
an exhaustive list.
We could add to it.
We could go elsewhere
in scripture
and add things
to this list.
It's not exhaustive.
It's just a portrait here.
Notice that
these qualities
go deeper
than gender stereotypes,
cultural gender stereotypes.
Like for men,
Jesus probably
wasn't into sports.
like,
who cares
if he was or not?
It doesn't matter
if he was into sports.
King David
loved poetry.
It goes much deeper
than cultural
pictures
of men and women.
So for the older men,
despite the many
hardships
faced
over a lifespan,
they're not
indulging
in pleasure
in their retirement.
It's my time.
They're not bitter
and angry
at the world.
they've got a controlled
mind.
Despite
declining capabilities
in older age,
there's still
this deep
inner sense
of
worth,
dignified.
They're worthy
of respect.
respect.
These characteristics,
they've been formed
by years
of learning
faith,
trusting God
in every situation
and learning
love,
what it means
to put another
first,
and learning
steadfastness
because
the hope
of the gospel
gives you
endurance.
these kind
of qualities
come from
faith,
love,
and hope.
And then we've
got older women
now to be
reverent
in their behaviour.
Reverent is
describing
a holy
person.
Some
described it
as she's
to act
like a
priestess
in the
temple.
Reverent
in that
she's
aware
of
God's
presence
in
everything
in
life.
There's
something
about
an
older
woman's
behaviour
that
is
just
so
conscious
of
the
presence
of
God
and
it
gets
into
everything
in
life.
Now
the
negative
instructions
perhaps
we're
to
picture
these
together.
Not
indulging
in
slander
while
drinking.
An
older
woman
doesn't
start
a
sentence
with
this
might
be
gossip
but
I
just
want
you
to
pray
for
this
but
please
don't
share
it.
Can
you
let me
tell you
about
an
older
woman?
No.
She's
using
her
mouth
not
for
destructive
empty
things
like
slander
and
drink
but
she's
using
her
mouth
to
teach
what
is
good.
So
if
you're
an
empty
nester
in the
room
or
you're
approaching
retirement
I
think
the
call
here
is
look
around
this
room
God
has
lots
of
work
for
you
to
do
investing
in the
next
generation
teach
what
is
good.
For
the
younger
women
there's
an
assumption
that it's
not
straightforward
to
love
your
husband
now
that
one
probably
isn't
a
shock
it's
not
straightforward
to
love
your
children
how
much
of a
shock
is
that
it's
not
naturally
speaking
you don't
have to
be a
Christian
for
this
you
die
for
your
children
I
know
you
would
but
sometimes
they
push
every
single
button
that
you've
got
you
have
nothing
left
in the
emotional
and
mental
and
spiritual
tank
you've
got
nothing
left
you
don't
know
what
to
do
disciplining
a
children
what's
the
right
thing
to
do
!
calling
on
older
women
to
help
younger
women
in
guidance
in
support
in
prayer
some
look
to
the
phrase
working
at
home
to
prohibit
secular
work
I
think
our
interpretation
here
depends
on what
Paul
is
combating
what's
the
situation
there
is
he
emphasising
the
word
working
or
is
he
emphasising
the
word
home
in
ancient
world
there
was
few
avenues
for
work
it's
more
likely
that
we
find
in
other
passages
it's
about
not
being
idle
but
being
busy
at
home
Proverbs
31
woman
is
busy
looking
after
the
home
but
also
running
a
business
at
the
same
time
so
I
don't
think
there's
a
strong
restriction
here
I
think
there's
a
positive
call
to
be
busy
even
if
you
do
have
an
employment
if
you
if
you've
chosen
marriage
and
if
God
has
given
you
children
there
is
a
call
to
prioritise
and
love
and
embrace
the
good
things
God
has
called
you
in
the
home
so
I
don't
think
there's
a
restriction
but
there
is
a
positive
call
as we
saw in
Genesis
Eve
was
helper
in that
she
supplied
everything
that Adam
lacked
the power
he lacked
together
they ought to
have
dominion
over the
world
I
remember
going to
a
friend's
house
as a
teenager
and
it
was
unbelievably
awkward
when
the
dad
gave
a
score
out
of
10
for
the
dinner
to
the
wife
I
think
it
was
seven
I
can
still
imagine
this
now
I
was
shocked
to
find
out
he
did
it
every
night
now
that's
an
extreme
I
know
it's
an
extreme
the
reaction
tells
me
it's
an
extreme
but
I
think
there
is
a
really
awful
burden
placed
on
women
when
their
godliness
is
evaluated
by
cooking
and
cleaning
and
things
like
that
you
guys
work
out
how
to
order
your
home
just
don't
call
it
theology
don't
put
the
weight
of
God
onto
cooking
and
cleaning
is
what
I'm
arguing
for
you
might
have
learned
good
things
from
your
parents
of
how
to
set
up
things
just
don't
evaluate
a
woman's
efforts
as
a
godliness
at
the
same
time
dealing
with
the
tantrum
of
a
young
kid
or
the
rebellion
of
a
teenager
that's
a
high
calling
you're
disciplining
not
discipline
well you
might be
disciplining
you're
disciplining
the next
generation
of the
church
it's
a
high
calling
now
I'm
not
sure
why
husbands
loving
their
wives
isn't
addressed
here
it's
another
indication
that this
isn't
the
full
picture
there's
a
huge
call
we've
already
looked
at
that
I
know
huge
call
on
husbands
laying
your
lives
down
but
perhaps
the
instructions
to
young
men
overlap
!
to
young
marriage
as
well
the
self
control
for
young
men
I
think
this
could
look
like
not
being
swept
along
with
the
world's
message
of
career
ambition
just
jumping
at
any
job
or
any
promotion
or
needing
money
to
validate
yourself
but
self
control
weighing
up
maybe
the
self
control
in terms
of your
tongue
and your
temper
self
control
with
sexual
desire
where
your
eyes
are
looking
the
self
control
of
keeping
your
commitments
even
when
it
hurts
maybe
the
spiritual
discipline
self
control
I
know
one
guy
he's
given
himself
the
rule
no
bible
no
breakfast
I
can't
go a
day
without
God's
word
I
think
this
will
help
all
people
self
control
I
wonder
if
by
this
point
you're
hearing
all
these
things
and
you're
thinking
why
what's
the
reason
what
maybe
this
whole
series
there
could
be
this
lurking
question
what's
the
goal
what's
the
goal
in
all
this
now
obviously
we
trust
God's
word
that
he
gives
it
for
our
good
for
our
flourishing
well
we
should
trust
God's
word
that
he's
giving
to
us
for
our
good
and
our
flourishing
but
God's
made
us
rational
creatures
that
we
want
to
know
the
why
and
we
don't
have
to
invent
the
why
we're
given
it
here
in
Titus
we
find
it
most
clearly
stated
in
verse
10
so
that
in
everything
they
may
adorn
the
doctrine
of
God
our
Saviour
this
whole
section
is
bracketed
teach
what
is
fitting
with
sound
doctrine
and
what
is
that
doctrine
of
God
our
Saviour
we
want
to
adorn
the
message
of
God
our
Saviour
permeates
this
whole
letter
the
goal
of
all
this
series
is
that
individually
whether
single
or
married
together
as a
family
of
God
is
that
we
adorn
the
doctrine
of
God
our
Saviour
adorning
is to
make
something
more
beautiful
or to
arrange
it
so that
the
beauty
comes
out
we
can't
make
the
gospel
more
beautiful
that's
not
possible
we
can't
make
it
more
beautiful
it's
like
this
precious
diamond
a
jewel
and
our
lives
are
like
a
necklace
that
is
the
setting
that
holds
this
jewel
how
we
live
can
bring
the
gospel
into
disrepute
or
it
can
make
this
wonderful
backdrop
so that
the
diamond
shines
and people
see it
and go
what
created
that
life
love
I
listen to
this
podcast
where
someone
asked
the
top
hundred
christian
evangelists
of their
best
evidence
for the
existence
of god
and one
of the
answers
is the
power
of the
gospel
to
transform
a
person's
life
how we
live
can
adorn
the
gospel
and make
it look
as beautiful
as it
is
I
think
an
example
is this
there was
a man
describing
why he
had such
a strong
faith
as an
adult
and the
thing he
looked back
on
is the
model of
his dad
was a
strong
he wasn't
a pushover
he was
saying
but
to see
a competent
man
on his
knees
every
Sunday
in
worship
had a
profound
impact
on him
how we
live as
men and
women
can
either
tarnish
the jewel
or hide
the jewel
or it
can
let it
shine
make it
beautiful
make it
seen as
beautiful
as it
already
is
that's
why
I think
that's the
reason
why
for this
whole
series
we want
to live
in a way
that draws
attention
to the
changing
power
of the
gospel
but where
does the
power come
from
to change
I don't
think knowing
our callings
on us
as men
and women
as singles
and married
as a church
family
ministry
knowing
all these
things
knowing
that they're
profitable
knowing
that our
goal is
to
adorn
the gospel
I don't
think it's
enough
we need
power
where is
the power
to not
just acknowledge
that God's
ways are
good
God's
design
is good
but to
love it
where is
the power
in the
hardships
of being
single
where does
the power
come from
where does
the power
come from
when marriage
is really
hard
where does
power come
from when
the beauty
of these
truths
actually
expose
our failure
even more
I'm not
living up
to being a
prayerful
man
where's
the power
to overcome
where's the
power to
overcome
deep hurts
in our
past
verses
11 to
14
show us
where the
power
come from
for the
grace
of God
has
appeared
bringing
salvation
for all
people
training
us to
renounce
ungodliness
and worldly
passions
and to
live
self-controlled
upright
and godly
lives
in this
present
age
waiting
for our
blessed
hope
the
appearing
of the
glory
of our
great
God
and
saviour
Jesus
Christ
who gave
himself
for us
to redeem
us from
all lawlessness
and to
purify for
himself a
people for
his own
possession
who was
zealous
for good
works
this passage
is saying
the grace
of the
cross
not only
forgives
and that
is wonderful
news
the grace
of the
cross
teaches
it
trains
I love
Colin
Buchanan's
song
live in
the gospel
it's not
this thing
that you
leave behind
it's
we
we preach
it to
ourselves
every day
or as
someone else
put it
Christians
are learners
in the
school of
grace
this passage
is saying
in a sense
to live
well now
whether you're
single
married
as a
church
family
for us
to live
well now
your eyes
need to
just be
not on the
present
but
looking back
looking forward
so
it'll be
anyway
I don't know
how you do
that
but spiritually
we're called
to
the power
comes from
with one
eye
looking back
and that
this great
and glorious
God
didn't
treat us
according to
our
ungodliness
he died
to make us
his own
possession
he's that
true husband
who died
for his
bride
that kind
of grace
can put us
back on our
feet
whenever we
fail
that kind
grace can
heal the
deepest
of wounds
but we
also have
one eye
looking
forward
to the
hope
that this
present life
isn't
enough
even if we
were to
live up
more and
more to
what we're
called to
as men
and women
it wouldn't
be enough
we're
got one
eye on
our hope
I think
Sam
Aubrey
touches
into this
point in
his book
Seven Myths
About
Singleness
so he's a
pastor in
the UK
he's reflecting
on the
goodness of
friendships in
the church
family as a
single man
but then he
says I
realise that
even if I
had the best
kind of
friends this
world could
offer it
wouldn't be
enough
it never
could be
and then he
speaks of a
married friend
of his who
said his
marriage is
much better
than I ever
expected or
deserved it
to be
but it's
not enough
he was
recognising the
limits of
even the
best kind
of intimacy
whether in
friendship or
marriage it's
not enough
then I like
how Sam
draws the
conclusion
the key to
contentment as
a single
person is
not trying to
make singleness
into something
that will
satisfy us
it is find
contentment in
Christ as a
single person
and the key to
contentment as a
married person is
not trying to
build a marriage
that can make us
content
it's to find
contentment in
Christ as a
married person
it's learning
grace that we
are bought by
him and that
our present
life actually
can't fully
satisfy
we've got hope
of glory
he's coming
that blessed
glory
blessed is that
state of pure
joy and it's
coming when we
see him
so that's
how we get
power to
adorn the
gospel
you've got to
be cross-eyed
something shocking
and looking back
and looking forward
not looking at the
present
to be the men
and women and
the singles and
marrieds God
calls us to be
we've got to be
learners in this
grace and preach
the gospel to our
hearts
looking back
looking forward
and then
then as men
and women
we'll adorn
the gospel
so that that
jewel shines
will you pray
with me
let's pray
father forgive us
for
when we don't
live up
to being the
men and the
women you
call us to
be
father I pray
that those
failures will
make us go
deeper into
the riches
of your
blood shed
for us
that we
will know
your love
more and
more
lord I
pray that
you might
give us
power to
live up
to what
you're calling
us to
help us be
men who
pray
and women
who are
reverent
in their
behaviour
and lord I
pray that
you make
us a
church
family
who
even if
people
really hate
what we're
teaching about
men and
women even
may they
see the
way we
relate as
a church
family and
just say
something good
and different
is there
lord we
pray this
so that the
gospel will
be honoured
by our
lives and
seen
for the
beauty that
it is
so in
jesus name
i ask
it
amen