WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.419 Well, a few weeks ago, we started a series looking at an Old Testament book called The 00:00:07.419 --> 00:00:08.400 Song of Songs. 00:00:08.740 --> 00:00:10.000 It's right in the middle of the Bible. 00:00:10.540 --> 00:00:15.519 It's in a section of Scripture we call Wisdom Literature alongside Psalms and Proverbs, 00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:16.300 Ecclesiastes. 00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:22.559 And it's an old book, but I think that we found over the last few weeks that it's extremely 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:26.560 relevant to our world today, to the culture that we live in. 00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:34.420 And it's a book written by and about a man named Solomon, King Solomon. 00:00:35.339 --> 00:00:43.480 And Solomon is someone who lived a long time ago, but very much embodies our modern sensibilities, 00:00:44.200 --> 00:00:46.200 especially our modern sexual ethic. 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:56.140 This is a man who was able to have as much sex as he wanted with the most beautiful women 00:00:56.140 --> 00:00:59.420 of the land anytime he wanted. 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:03.060 He was very much like a Harvey Weinstein. 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:08.500 This was possible because he had all the power, and so he could do what he wanted. 00:01:08.500 --> 00:01:12.900 And we look at 1 Kings 11. 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:15.340 It tells us that he had 700 wives. 00:01:15.459 --> 00:01:17.960 He had an additional 300 concubines. 00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:24.539 And Ecclesiastes, which is also written by Solomon, there he says in chapter 2 that over 00:01:24.539 --> 00:01:28.700 the course of his life, he withheld himself from no pleasure. 00:01:28.840 --> 00:01:34.760 In other words, this is a man who indulged completely in whatever his heart desired. 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:38.760 Over and over and over, all through his adult life, he indulged. 00:01:39.980 --> 00:01:44.719 And so it's interesting to follow Solomon and to see him come to the end of his life. 00:01:45.700 --> 00:01:51.760 And he doesn't come to the end of this life and say, I'm now fulfilled, I'm satisfied, 00:01:52.240 --> 00:01:57.880 I look back with great joy at the way that I lived my life, this is what everybody should 00:01:57.880 --> 00:01:58.240 be doing. 00:01:58.260 --> 00:01:59.439 He doesn't say any of that. 00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:05.640 In fact, as we see in Ecclesiastes, he gets to the end of his life and he's depressed, 00:02:06.459 --> 00:02:09.979 he's empty, he's lonely. 00:02:10.639 --> 00:02:12.759 He says, all of it was meaningless. 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:15.180 I was chasing the wind. 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:26.360 And at the very end of the book of Ecclesiastes, he concludes, essentially, he says, I spent my 00:02:26.360 --> 00:02:32.540 life trying to find meaning and fulfillment apart from God and it was completely pointless. 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:34.300 It was completely pointless. 00:02:35.200 --> 00:02:39.620 And so the conclusion of that book, he says, my final word is this. 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:40.740 Here's what I've realized. 00:02:41.740 --> 00:02:44.380 Fear God and obey his commandments. 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:49.740 Essentially, he's saying, I look back at my life and I realize I've tried things my way, 00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:51.140 I've tried everything I know. 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:52.080 None of it works. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:55.380 The only thing that works is God's way. 00:02:56.500 --> 00:02:57.380 So that's his conclusion. 00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:02.820 So my belief, as we look at the Song of Songs, which is also a book that Solomon wrote at 00:03:02.820 --> 00:03:08.200 the end of his life, my belief is that that realization, my way doesn't work, it has to 00:03:08.200 --> 00:03:13.680 be God's way, that that's what led him to eventually write the Song of Songs, which is not about his 00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:20.780 actual life, but it's a vision of what Solomon came to realize is God's way for intimacy. 00:03:20.780 --> 00:03:27.680 It's a song about a marriage, an idealized marriage between Solomon and the Shulamite 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:29.699 woman, but it's about much more than that. 00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:32.979 In fact, we've come to see that this is a book ultimately about intimacy. 00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:38.000 It's about the kind of intimacy that we are meant to have with one another. 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:43.560 So marriage, but also friendships, community, like a church community. 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:48.620 So it's about that kind of intimacy, but ultimately it's also a book about the kind of intimacy 00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:50.200 that we are made to have with God. 00:03:51.159 --> 00:03:53.939 So that's what we've been doing each week in this series. 00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:57.700 We've been using this as a guide to teach us about intimacy. 00:03:58.140 --> 00:04:04.460 And today we come to the very heart of the song, chapter 3, verse 6, through chapter 5, 00:04:04.539 --> 00:04:10.879 verse 1, where we see the actual wedding take place between Solomon and his bride. 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:15.299 And so what we're going to do this evening, as we've done each week during this series, 00:04:15.460 --> 00:04:20.379 it's going to be a little more technical than we normally do here at Advent, 00:04:20.500 --> 00:04:22.899 and that's because it's Hebrew poetry. 00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:27.439 And I really want you to understand what's happening here and see the connections to the 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:28.319 points that we're making. 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:30.120 So we're going to be putting it up on the screen. 00:04:30.379 --> 00:04:33.839 We're going to read through it together, and then I'm just going to make one point tonight. 00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:37.699 So we're going to read through the text, and then we'll just draw out one point that I think 00:04:37.699 --> 00:04:40.259 is the central message of this section of the song. 00:04:40.860 --> 00:04:41.620 So let's pray. 00:04:44.740 --> 00:04:49.219 Our Father, we know that even now as we sit in this room, you are present. 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:51.199 Your Holy Spirit is here. 00:04:52.019 --> 00:04:52.879 You're in us. 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:53.759 You're in our midst. 00:04:54.860 --> 00:04:58.899 And that you're a God who has promised across the ages to speak to your people, 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:01.639 and you have fulfilled that promise again and again and again. 00:05:02.099 --> 00:05:07.219 And so, Lord, this evening as we gather around your word, we ask that you would speak. 00:05:08.500 --> 00:05:11.659 That your Holy Spirit would illuminate these words. 00:05:12.519 --> 00:05:17.279 That we would hear the voice of the living word, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:18.920 And it's in his name that we pray. 00:05:19.259 --> 00:05:19.599 Amen. 00:05:21.099 --> 00:05:27.039 So before we dive into the actual text, I want to take a moment to help you understand the 00:05:27.039 --> 00:05:29.659 overall structure of the Song of Songs. 00:05:29.659 --> 00:05:34.120 And this will help you learn a little bit about how to understand Hebrew poetry in general. 00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:38.920 If you read Song of Songs, if you just, you know, went home after the first week and picked 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:42.500 it up and started reading, or those of you who read the Bible, you know, just kind of 00:05:42.500 --> 00:05:46.439 in order, when you get to Song of Songs and you start reading it, it's very confusing. 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:50.300 You read, and at one point it seems like right off the bat, in the first four verses, 00:05:50.699 --> 00:05:52.480 this couple is having sex. 00:05:52.480 --> 00:05:56.819 And then just a few verses later, it seems like they're really trying not to have sex. 00:05:57.040 --> 00:05:59.200 And then a few verses later, it seems like they're married. 00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:01.540 And then a few verses later, it seems like they're courting. 00:06:01.580 --> 00:06:04.100 And a few verses later, there's a weird chase scene. 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:06.080 And they don't know, they've lost each other. 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:08.560 And then a few verses later, they're having sex again. 00:06:08.780 --> 00:06:12.759 And there's this big question as to how to make sense of this book. 00:06:12.819 --> 00:06:17.259 And if you read it, just chapter one, two, three, expecting a linear story, it's not going 00:06:17.259 --> 00:06:17.959 to make any sense. 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:23.039 It's not meant to be read in the way that a lot of modern prose and poetry would be read 00:06:23.039 --> 00:06:23.420 today. 00:06:23.860 --> 00:06:28.719 It's ancient Hebrew poetry, and it has a specific structure to it, which is called chiastic 00:06:28.719 --> 00:06:30.620 structure, or a chiastic pattern. 00:06:31.319 --> 00:06:34.719 A chiastic pattern in poetry looks like this. 00:06:35.259 --> 00:06:39.079 As you begin reading, you're introduced to the first theme, what we'll call theme A. 00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:42.539 And then you keep reading, and it shifts, and there'll be a different theme, theme B. 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:45.139 And then you come to maybe a third theme, theme C. 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:47.159 And this can just keep going and going and going. 00:06:47.259 --> 00:06:49.039 But for our purposes, A, B, and C. 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:55.060 Well, then what happens is after you pass the middle of the text, you see a recurrence of 00:06:55.060 --> 00:07:00.800 theme C, and then another recurrence of theme B, and then another recurrence of theme A. 00:07:01.019 --> 00:07:07.379 And so you have these thematic pairs as you come closer and closer and closer to the center 00:07:07.379 --> 00:07:07.980 of the poem. 00:07:09.300 --> 00:07:15.199 In other words, if you want to know the point of a chiastic structure, a poem with this kind 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:19.479 of structure, the point does not come at the beginning or the end, like much of our writing, 00:07:19.620 --> 00:07:20.939 the point comes right in the middle. 00:07:21.899 --> 00:07:23.159 That's the place of emphasis. 00:07:23.339 --> 00:07:27.339 It's the hinge on which the entire work swings. 00:07:27.539 --> 00:07:31.980 And all of the other themes are simply variations or riffs off that central theme. 00:07:31.980 --> 00:07:36.939 So as you can see, this loose breakdown of the Song of Songs, theme A is the theme of love 00:07:36.939 --> 00:07:38.879 and longing, desire for intimacy. 00:07:39.420 --> 00:07:41.580 Let him kiss me with the kisses of my mouth. 00:07:42.040 --> 00:07:46.720 And then when we get to theme B, there's this interesting scene of losing and finding where 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:50.780 she wakes up and he's nowhere to be found and she goes out into the streets looking for him. 00:07:51.420 --> 00:07:57.500 And then we come to our section this evening and we see the third theme, the theme of marriage, 00:07:57.500 --> 00:07:59.660 and then the theme of consummation. 00:07:59.779 --> 00:08:00.540 Those go together. 00:08:01.259 --> 00:08:05.459 But if we keep reading as we will next week, we see another interesting chase scene. 00:08:05.560 --> 00:08:09.500 Very similar to the first one where she goes out, searches the streets, goes to the watchman. 00:08:10.100 --> 00:08:12.019 Very similar to what we've already seen. 00:08:12.259 --> 00:08:16.420 And then as we keep going, we again see the recurrence of the themes of love and longing. 00:08:16.420 --> 00:08:21.879 And so we have these pairs and right in the very middle, the point of the entire song, 00:08:22.620 --> 00:08:24.639 marriage and consummation. 00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:30.879 So this is how we know that the entire song is actually about marriage and marital intimacy. 00:08:31.259 --> 00:08:34.199 And we're going to talk a little bit more about that in a little while. 00:08:34.279 --> 00:08:38.120 But I wanted to orient you to that so you know that we are now in the very heart of 00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:40.919 and the central theme of the Song of Songs. 00:08:41.879 --> 00:08:43.279 So now we're going to jump into it. 00:08:43.860 --> 00:08:45.779 This is where we ended last week. 00:08:45.860 --> 00:08:50.299 It's the very last verse of that passage where the Shulamite woman is warning the daughters 00:08:50.299 --> 00:08:55.679 of Jerusalem, by the gazelles of the does of the field, do not stir up or awaken love until 00:08:55.679 --> 00:08:56.179 it pleases. 00:08:56.979 --> 00:09:02.019 This is her warning and it's a refrain that happens throughout the poem. 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:03.659 We're going to explain that in a little while. 00:09:03.939 --> 00:09:07.699 As we move forward to the next verse, she shifts her focus. 00:09:07.859 --> 00:09:09.059 A new theme begins. 00:09:09.699 --> 00:09:11.399 What is that coming up from the wilderness? 00:09:11.819 --> 00:09:12.979 Like columns of smoke. 00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:16.980 She's looking down the road and she sees dust rising, right? 00:09:17.019 --> 00:09:21.879 And some commentators say this evokes the column of smoke that led the Israelites through 00:09:21.879 --> 00:09:23.320 the wilderness in the desert, right? 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:25.120 What is that coming up from the wilderness? 00:09:25.259 --> 00:09:30.120 Like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders 00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:30.519 of a merchant. 00:09:30.620 --> 00:09:31.159 Well, what is it? 00:09:31.180 --> 00:09:36.320 As it gets closer and she's looking down the road, she realizes, behold, it's the litter 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:36.940 of Solomon. 00:09:37.480 --> 00:09:40.399 Around it are 60 mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel. 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:46.159 All of them wearing swords and expert in war, each with his sword at his thigh against terror 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:47.079 by night. 00:09:47.159 --> 00:09:53.699 This is a formidable force of men all leading the way for this great processional at the 00:09:53.699 --> 00:09:57.720 center of which is Solomon in his palanquin or his carriage. 00:09:58.659 --> 00:10:01.899 King Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon. 00:10:02.500 --> 00:10:07.620 He made its posts of silver, its back of gold, its seat of purple, its interior was inlaid 00:10:07.620 --> 00:10:10.199 with love by the daughters of Jerusalem. 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:12.120 Solomon spared no expense. 00:10:13.259 --> 00:10:20.019 This is the nicest of nice and it's the Cadillac of carriages and he's done it with the full 00:10:20.019 --> 00:10:22.360 support and excitement of the community. 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:26.459 The daughters of Jerusalem enthusiastically helped pull this together. 00:10:27.899 --> 00:10:30.079 Go out, she says to all of her friends. 00:10:30.220 --> 00:10:33.220 Go out, O daughters of Zion, and look upon King Solomon. 00:10:33.340 --> 00:10:35.919 She's essentially saying, everybody come, look, he's here. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:41.379 Look upon King Solomon with the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his 00:10:41.379 --> 00:10:41.699 wedding. 00:10:42.279 --> 00:10:43.459 The time has come. 00:10:43.799 --> 00:10:44.759 It's the wedding day. 00:10:45.199 --> 00:10:47.139 The day of the gladness of his heart. 00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:49.599 This is the happiest day of Solomon's life. 00:10:50.319 --> 00:10:52.799 So what's happening here in this first section? 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:58.039 Well, I think it's pretty clear from the language that this is a royal wedding procession. 00:10:59.059 --> 00:11:00.299 This is the wedding day. 00:11:01.139 --> 00:11:05.120 Now let me explain a little something about weddings back in this time period. 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:07.179 They weren't quite like our weddings today. 00:11:07.659 --> 00:11:10.519 An ancient Jewish wedding had two phases. 00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:12.939 First, there was the betrothal. 00:11:13.620 --> 00:11:15.159 The families would get together. 00:11:15.319 --> 00:11:17.319 They would agree on a bride and groom. 00:11:17.699 --> 00:11:20.240 Sometimes the bride and groom had a say, many times not. 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:25.379 And they would agree on all of the things that needed to be worked out. 00:11:25.439 --> 00:11:26.559 And they would agree on a time frame. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:29.799 And the couple would be formally betrothed to one another. 00:11:30.299 --> 00:11:32.899 Now once that happened, they were essentially married. 00:11:33.019 --> 00:11:34.419 So this is not like an engagement. 00:11:35.199 --> 00:11:36.480 They were essentially married. 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:42.820 The only thing that hadn't taken place was they were not cohabiting together. 00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:45.460 And so what would happen is they would get betrothed. 00:11:45.519 --> 00:11:46.960 The families would work out the timeline. 00:11:47.300 --> 00:11:53.860 And then the groom would say goodbye to his wife and would go away to prepare their home. 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:58.980 And often that meant he would go to his father's house and he would build an addition on the house. 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:03.639 And so if you go to Israel today, you can see lots of houses that have additions sticking out. 00:12:03.720 --> 00:12:05.600 Because the groom would go and build an addition. 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:12.259 So when they finally consummated the marriage, they would come live in the groom's father's house. 00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:16.800 And so the groom would leave and the wife-to-be would wait. 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:17.920 The betrothed would wait. 00:12:18.460 --> 00:12:21.740 And it could be a period of six months up to maybe even two years. 00:12:22.680 --> 00:12:24.759 And she's waiting on this to happen. 00:12:24.920 --> 00:12:27.320 And they're not living together, maybe not even seeing each other. 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:32.640 And then all of a sudden, unannounced, one day, the groom would come. 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:34.420 And so the bride would be waiting. 00:12:34.580 --> 00:12:35.580 She walks outside. 00:12:35.680 --> 00:12:36.440 She hears a commotion. 00:12:36.540 --> 00:12:36.860 She looks. 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:38.680 She sees in the distance dust rising. 00:12:38.760 --> 00:12:39.340 Who's that coming? 00:12:39.560 --> 00:12:40.300 She hears music. 00:12:40.379 --> 00:12:41.000 She hears shouting. 00:12:41.280 --> 00:12:45.580 She hears the friends who are going out ahead of the groom shouting that he's coming. 00:12:45.700 --> 00:12:47.700 And she realizes, the time has come. 00:12:48.520 --> 00:12:49.580 It's my wedding day. 00:12:50.400 --> 00:12:52.120 And so he would come in the carriage. 00:12:52.520 --> 00:12:55.340 And he would take his bride up into the carriage. 00:12:56.160 --> 00:13:01.540 And then the great processional would go from her house to his house, their new home that they were going to share together. 00:13:01.980 --> 00:13:02.800 And they would get down. 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:07.480 And they would go into the room, their bed chamber that he had prepared. 00:13:07.660 --> 00:13:08.780 And they would close the doors. 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:13.920 And everybody would hopefully mind their own business for a little while while they consummated their relationship. 00:13:13.920 --> 00:13:14.840 They had sex. 00:13:14.840 --> 00:13:17.399 And then once that was done, they would come out. 00:13:17.780 --> 00:13:20.240 They would announce that it's official. 00:13:21.460 --> 00:13:22.899 You know, we've done the deed. 00:13:23.540 --> 00:13:26.320 And then they would, a big celebration would break out. 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:31.139 And they would, and there would be a week of feasting and singing and merriment. 00:13:31.259 --> 00:13:33.360 And the bride and groom would be treated like a king and queen. 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:34.720 They would do very little work. 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:36.379 And they would do a lot of celebrating. 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:40.600 I think in many ways, this is a fantastic way to have a wedding. 00:13:40.780 --> 00:13:43.220 You know, minus the, we just had sex announcement. 00:13:43.379 --> 00:13:44.780 I don't think many people would like that. 00:13:44.840 --> 00:13:47.220 But I think that the rest of it is really great. 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:49.120 This big week-long celebration. 00:13:49.680 --> 00:13:53.060 This is very clearly what's happening in this section. 00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:54.420 The wedding day has come. 00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:56.899 The Shulamite woman was the betrothed. 00:13:57.480 --> 00:13:58.879 And now the wedding day has come. 00:13:58.980 --> 00:14:01.720 And they've gone to consummate their relationship. 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.820 And here we see, beginning in chapter 4, verse 1, here's the consummation. 00:14:05.940 --> 00:14:06.780 So imagine this. 00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:10.360 And imagine that the processional has arrived. 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:11.240 They've gotten down. 00:14:11.300 --> 00:14:12.160 They've gone into the bedroom. 00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:13.320 They've closed the door. 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:15.600 Everybody's kind of off getting ready for the party. 00:14:15.760 --> 00:14:17.100 And they have some time alone. 00:14:17.260 --> 00:14:19.080 And maybe they haven't seen each other in a long time. 00:14:19.580 --> 00:14:22.540 And imagine Solomon beholding his bride. 00:14:23.540 --> 00:14:23.740 Right? 00:14:23.860 --> 00:14:25.780 I mean, it might sound a little illicit. 00:14:25.879 --> 00:14:28.920 But imagine that she disrobes. 00:14:28.980 --> 00:14:32.900 And he's beholding her in this incredibly intimate moment for the first time. 00:14:32.899 --> 00:14:34.120 And look at what he does. 00:14:36.179 --> 00:14:38.220 Behold, you are beautiful, my love. 00:14:38.919 --> 00:14:39.959 Behold, you are beautiful. 00:14:40.659 --> 00:14:42.159 And then it begins with her eyes. 00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:44.919 Your eyes are doves behind your veil. 00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:50.019 Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. 00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:55.240 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing, all of which bear twins. 00:14:55.340 --> 00:14:57.360 And not one of them has lost its young. 00:14:57.460 --> 00:14:58.439 She has nice teeth. 00:15:00.740 --> 00:15:01.100 Obviously. 00:15:01.100 --> 00:15:05.920 Your lips are like a scarlet thread. 00:15:06.659 --> 00:15:07.680 Your mouth is lovely. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.340 Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. 00:15:10.899 --> 00:15:14.159 Your neck is like the Tower of David built in rows of stone. 00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:15.940 On it hang a thousand shields. 00:15:16.019 --> 00:15:17.560 All of them shields of warriors. 00:15:17.720 --> 00:15:21.800 Imagine a necklace with a lot of metal plates hanging down like this. 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:23.040 It looks like a thousand shields. 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:27.600 Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle that graze among the lilies. 00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:33.379 And then he, in verse 6, begins to issue this invitation. 00:15:34.300 --> 00:15:35.779 I can't wait to share life with you. 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:37.659 I can't wait. 00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:41.540 I'm so excited that we are now going to share life together. 00:15:41.820 --> 00:15:43.100 But do you see what he's doing there? 00:15:43.180 --> 00:15:48.300 As he goes, as he encounters this woman, he's specifically starting with her eyes, 00:15:48.460 --> 00:15:52.820 going to each part of her body and proclaiming it beautiful. 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:55.240 Each part of her. 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:58.320 However, he's stating, I love this part of you. 00:15:58.500 --> 00:16:00.220 And we can imagine, I love your ears. 00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:02.139 You know, I love your earlobes. 00:16:02.539 --> 00:16:03.740 You know, I love your neck. 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:04.779 I love your chin. 00:16:04.899 --> 00:16:06.100 I love your dimples. 00:16:06.299 --> 00:16:08.620 You know, I love the hollow of your neck. 00:16:08.680 --> 00:16:09.840 I love your collarbones. 00:16:09.940 --> 00:16:10.680 I love your shoulders. 00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:12.759 You can imagine just every single part. 00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:15.240 He pauses to praise it. 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:17.659 To tell her how beautiful she is. 00:16:17.659 --> 00:16:23.819 And then it changes, and in verse 9, if we go to verse 9, he says, 00:16:23.899 --> 00:16:26.679 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride. 00:16:26.819 --> 00:16:28.000 That sounds weird to us. 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:29.899 She's not actually his sister. 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:33.919 This is an ancient Near Eastern term of endearment. 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:37.120 We can translate it sister, but it had a broader meaning back then. 00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:42.339 So very intimately connected people would often use that language as a kind of term of affection. 00:16:42.340 --> 00:16:44.680 So he begins to use that language. 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:46.440 Bride very much means bride. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:49.540 You've captivated my heart, my sister, my bride. 00:16:49.700 --> 00:16:53.740 You've captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. 00:16:54.820 --> 00:16:55.480 And then we go on. 00:16:55.540 --> 00:16:57.700 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride. 00:16:57.899 --> 00:16:59.540 How much better is your love than wine. 00:16:59.740 --> 00:17:05.620 And what we see here is he's now using the language of captivation, and he's pledging himself. 00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:07.620 I'm totally yours. 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:09.340 I'm captivated by you. 00:17:09.460 --> 00:17:10.480 I'm not going anywhere. 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:14.059 The fragrance of your oils better than any spice. 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:14.740 Your lips drip. 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:15.599 Nectar, my bride. 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:17.059 Honey and milk are under your tongue. 00:17:17.380 --> 00:17:19.740 The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. 00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:21.880 Keep going. 00:17:23.380 --> 00:17:24.920 And now he says in verse 12, 00:17:25.680 --> 00:17:28.099 A garden locked is my sister, my bride. 00:17:28.339 --> 00:17:29.360 A spring locked. 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:30.660 A fountain sealed. 00:17:31.220 --> 00:17:35.900 And obviously this language of garden and fountain, this is referring to female anatomy. 00:17:35.900 --> 00:17:41.440 And by saying that she is a garden locked or a fountain sealed, he's essentially saying, 00:17:41.840 --> 00:17:42.519 You're a virgin. 00:17:42.860 --> 00:17:46.960 You have kept yourself until this night, until the night of our wedding. 00:17:47.460 --> 00:17:51.220 And your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all the choicest fruits, 00:17:51.700 --> 00:17:54.960 henna with nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, 00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:58.160 with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all choice spices, 00:17:58.600 --> 00:18:02.120 in a garden fountain, a well of living water, and flowing streams from Lebanon. 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:11.000 So he's essentially asking her, asking her if she will allow him to make love to her. 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:15.359 This is his, he's entreating her, but he's waiting for her invitation. 00:18:15.699 --> 00:18:16.659 He's not being pushy. 00:18:16.899 --> 00:18:17.979 He's not being forceful. 00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:18.939 He's not being manipulative. 00:18:19.159 --> 00:18:20.419 He's praising her beauty. 00:18:21.399 --> 00:18:27.899 He's, he's, and he's essentially putting the ball in her court, if you will, 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:30.319 to invite him to be intimate with her. 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:34.359 And so we go to the next verse, and here she is speaking, and she says, 00:18:34.740 --> 00:18:37.019 Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind. 00:18:37.299 --> 00:18:39.439 Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. 00:18:39.740 --> 00:18:43.339 Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its choicest fruits. 00:18:44.099 --> 00:18:46.179 I think it's safe to assume she says yes. 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.259 And then he says to us, 00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:51.639 I came to my garden, my sister, my bride. 00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:53.799 I gathered my myrrh with my spice. 00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:55.439 I ate my honeycomb with my honey. 00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:57.679 I drank my wine with my milk. 00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:03.060 Those, those double pairings of words essentially mean I held nothing back. 00:19:04.279 --> 00:19:05.779 I've praised your beauty. 00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:08.680 We're in this context of our bedchamber together. 00:19:09.220 --> 00:19:10.539 I've beheld you. 00:19:10.900 --> 00:19:12.299 I've waited for an invitation. 00:19:12.460 --> 00:19:13.440 You've invited me. 00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:17.759 And now, now that they are intimate, they're holding nothing back, nothing in reserve. 00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:19.380 They're, they're all in. 00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:21.380 Completely giving themselves to one another. 00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:23.300 So this is our passage. 00:19:23.800 --> 00:19:27.900 And so what we see, the first part, we see the kind of great day of the wedding, 00:19:28.020 --> 00:19:30.920 where the wedding, the great wedding processional. 00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:34.740 And then we see the couple alone together where he praises her beauty 00:19:34.740 --> 00:19:38.160 and they consummate their union in sexual intimacy. 00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:43.040 So they're clearly describing this Jewish wedding day. 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:47.740 And so there's only one real main point I want to draw out from this passage 00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:49.079 that we'll spend the rest of our time on. 00:19:49.339 --> 00:19:50.099 And that is this. 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.740 Intimacy only thrives within covenant relationships. 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:01.039 Intimacy only thrives within covenant relationships. 00:20:01.319 --> 00:20:04.119 You can have the beginnings of intimacy. 00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:08.099 You can begin to experience it with, in many different contexts. 00:20:08.099 --> 00:20:13.959 But it will not last, it will not sustain, it will not grow, it will not thrive 00:20:13.959 --> 00:20:17.500 unless it is protected by a covenant. 00:20:17.659 --> 00:20:20.359 It will eventually fade and wither and die. 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:23.779 Intimacy can only thrive in covenant relationships. 00:20:24.679 --> 00:20:27.339 So what we see here at the very heart of the Song of Songs 00:20:27.339 --> 00:20:30.079 is this formal wedding celebration. 00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:35.059 But I want to make sure you know that the entire song encompasses their marriage. 00:20:35.059 --> 00:20:38.399 If you go all the way back to chapter 2, all the way in the very beginning, 00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:41.440 she says, my beloved is mine and I am his. 00:20:42.019 --> 00:20:44.839 And if you go all the way to the end, chapter 8, she says, 00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:47.099 set me as a seal upon your heart. 00:20:47.539 --> 00:20:49.419 And that's very clearly covenant language. 00:20:49.539 --> 00:20:55.899 And so the entire song is meant to be understood in the context of a marriage. 00:20:56.059 --> 00:20:58.720 Sometimes they're reflecting back on the early days of their relationship. 00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:01.839 And as we'll see in a little while, in another week, 00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:06.619 sometimes they're thinking about major problems and difficulties and arguments that they had. 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:09.019 But this is covenant language. 00:21:09.959 --> 00:21:14.019 So whatever intimacy we have in our relationships, it's not going to last, 00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:17.819 it cannot last, it cannot thrive unless we make a covenant. 00:21:18.039 --> 00:21:22.359 And this is why, by the way, she repeatedly warns throughout the song, 00:21:23.339 --> 00:21:25.159 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, 00:21:25.539 --> 00:21:29.319 that you not stir up or awaken love before it pleases. 00:21:29.319 --> 00:21:32.319 What she's essentially saying is, now that I'm feeling this, 00:21:32.419 --> 00:21:33.919 now that I'm in this relationship, 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:40.099 I realize that love and desire are powerful and sometimes dangerous things. 00:21:40.539 --> 00:21:42.519 And she says at one point early on, 00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:43.980 I'm sick with love. 00:21:44.179 --> 00:21:45.839 I'm emotionally exhausted. 00:21:46.399 --> 00:21:49.220 I had no idea that it would wreak such havoc on me. 00:21:49.899 --> 00:21:52.519 And so she's saying, this is not the kind of thing you want to play around with. 00:21:52.579 --> 00:21:54.419 It's not the kind of thing you want to mess with. 00:21:54.420 --> 00:22:00.000 And she's realizing how precious and how fragile and how sometimes completely irrational 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:05.460 it can be to be deeply in love with somebody. 00:22:05.779 --> 00:22:08.820 And so she's saying, don't rush into this. 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:10.860 It needs to be the right time. 00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:12.420 It needs to be the right circumstances. 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:13.120 Right? 00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:15.920 So that's her warning that she says throughout the song. 00:22:16.180 --> 00:22:19.500 And then on the other hand, the other refrain that we hear is, 00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:23.079 I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. 00:22:23.259 --> 00:22:26.859 So she's essentially saying, don't awaken this until you're ready. 00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:29.960 And then once you're ready and you enter into a covenant, then you're all in. 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:31.460 You're all in. 00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:32.880 I'm his, he's mine. 00:22:33.059 --> 00:22:34.259 We belong to one another. 00:22:34.779 --> 00:22:37.200 So she's saying, this really needs to be all or none. 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:39.740 It can't be halfway. 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:40.599 Right? 00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:44.500 And that's why we see that the Bible is filled with covenant relationships. 00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:50.640 You know, of course we see the covenant of marriage, which doesn't just turn up in the 00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:51.180 Song of Songs. 00:22:51.259 --> 00:22:57.400 We actually see that all the way back in creation in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24, where after 00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:02.099 Adam and Eve have met for the first time, God says, therefore a man shall leave his father 00:23:02.099 --> 00:23:06.279 and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. 00:23:06.740 --> 00:23:06.900 Right? 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:12.839 Two whole selves, whole lives, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually becoming one. 00:23:12.839 --> 00:23:14.160 The two shall become one. 00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:15.220 That's a covenant. 00:23:16.359 --> 00:23:16.740 Right? 00:23:16.779 --> 00:23:21.259 We also see this show up in the form of a friendship, covenant friendship. 00:23:22.099 --> 00:23:28.940 You see in 1 Samuel 18, Jonathan pledges himself to David, gives what he has to David, says, 00:23:29.059 --> 00:23:31.319 for the rest of our lives, I am yours. 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:32.240 I want to love you. 00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:33.119 I want to be with you. 00:23:33.180 --> 00:23:34.200 I want to spend life with you. 00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:37.140 And we, in our modern ears, hear that. 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:41.140 And the only way we can make sense of it is to assume that this is a same-sex relationship. 00:23:41.140 --> 00:23:48.160 But what's actually happening is this is a covenant friendship made of deep, intimate love between two men. 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:52.180 And we don't have a context for that anymore. 00:23:52.180 --> 00:23:54.000 And I think that's a huge issue. 00:23:54.540 --> 00:23:59.860 I think that we're missing something vital in terms of what it means to be human. 00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:05.980 Because especially for men, we have no idea how to have that kind of relationship unless it's sexual. 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:07.240 We have no idea. 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:11.859 And likewise, we see the same thing between two women, Ruth and Naomi. 00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:14.240 We see them in Ruth 1. 00:24:15.079 --> 00:24:19.339 After terrible tragedy, Naomi tries to send her daughter-in-law back home. 00:24:19.380 --> 00:24:21.920 And her daughter-in-law says, no, don't send me away. 00:24:21.980 --> 00:24:22.839 Don't you understand? 00:24:23.339 --> 00:24:25.599 And she says, for where you go, I will go. 00:24:26.099 --> 00:24:27.819 Where you lodge, I will lodge. 00:24:28.299 --> 00:24:29.980 Your people shall be my people. 00:24:30.279 --> 00:24:31.480 Your God, my God. 00:24:32.059 --> 00:24:33.579 Where you die, I will die. 00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:34.900 And there I will be buried. 00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:37.800 May the Lord do so to me and more. 00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:41.720 Also, if anything but death parts me from you. 00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:42.320 Right? 00:24:42.420 --> 00:24:43.960 From death, us do part. 00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:45.460 Till death, us do part. 00:24:46.280 --> 00:24:47.420 Covenant language. 00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:48.300 Right? 00:24:48.360 --> 00:24:50.200 She's pledging herself to her mother-in-law. 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:54.400 So we see covenant friendship as well as the covenant of marriage. 00:24:54.960 --> 00:25:00.100 But then ultimately in Scripture, our understanding of covenant is rooted in God himself. 00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:07.480 It's rooted in the character of God and the kind of relationship God desires to have with us. 00:25:08.139 --> 00:25:12.259 You know, in our culture, I think it's safe to say that most of us assume it works like this. 00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:13.259 You meet somebody. 00:25:13.379 --> 00:25:14.119 You start hanging out. 00:25:14.199 --> 00:25:15.679 You have a lot in common. 00:25:15.819 --> 00:25:16.579 You enjoy each other. 00:25:16.719 --> 00:25:17.859 And you begin to build intimacy. 00:25:17.859 --> 00:25:25.479 And if the intimacy works and there's chemistry and connection and the intimacy continues to build and you fall deeper and deeper and deeper in love, 00:25:25.579 --> 00:25:31.819 then somewhere way down the line you say we have enough intimacy now and enough feeling and enough connection that we should make a covenant. 00:25:32.979 --> 00:25:35.659 So intimacy first and then covenant. 00:25:35.660 --> 00:25:40.180 And the thing that we need to realize is that God works in the exact opposite direction. 00:25:40.700 --> 00:25:48.060 God comes to somebody and says, the first thing that we need to do, if we want intimacy, we have to make a covenant. 00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:51.180 Covenant has to come first. 00:25:51.840 --> 00:25:55.019 And then in that context, we can build intimacy. 00:25:55.620 --> 00:25:58.019 So he creates Adam and Eve and makes a covenant with them. 00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.840 He comes to Noah, introduces himself to Noah in person and then makes a covenant with Noah. 00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:06.459 He comes to Abram and introduces himself to Abram. 00:26:06.539 --> 00:26:09.279 And the first thing he does is he makes a covenant with Abram and all his descendants. 00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:17.359 And then after he sets his people free from slavery in Egypt, he makes a covenant with Moses and the people through Moses. 00:26:17.699 --> 00:26:19.980 And you see God in every case saying, I want you to be my people. 00:26:20.059 --> 00:26:20.799 I want to be your God. 00:26:20.899 --> 00:26:22.819 But the first thing we have to do is make a covenant. 00:26:23.139 --> 00:26:23.899 You'll be my people. 00:26:24.019 --> 00:26:24.740 I'll be your God. 00:26:24.879 --> 00:26:27.119 And in that context, we can have intimacy. 00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:32.939 And then, of course, ultimately, in Jesus Christ, God has made a covenant with all of us. 00:26:33.619 --> 00:26:34.239 His church. 00:26:34.959 --> 00:26:35.119 Right? 00:26:35.419 --> 00:26:40.439 But the first thing that had to happen is God had to cut a covenant, which is literally the Hebrew word. 00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:41.759 You cut a covenant. 00:26:42.219 --> 00:26:49.019 God had to cut a covenant in the flesh of Jesus Christ in order to make possible intimacy with us. 00:26:49.399 --> 00:26:51.500 So again and again and again, you see this pattern. 00:26:51.500 --> 00:26:57.200 And the reason is because intimacy can only thrive inside a covenant relationship. 00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:00.400 Let me give you three reasons why that's true. 00:27:00.519 --> 00:27:04.400 Three reasons why intimacy requires a covenant in order to grow and thrive. 00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:17.460 Number one, a covenant means that you pledge to love every part of someone even if you haven't yet seen it. 00:27:17.460 --> 00:27:28.200 Making a covenant means you're pledging that you will accept and love every part of a person, whether you've seen it or not. 00:27:28.860 --> 00:27:35.900 You're saying, even if, even if I see something that I don't like, even if I see something that I didn't expect, 00:27:36.420 --> 00:27:40.980 I'm committing already to loving that part of you because it's you. 00:27:42.279 --> 00:27:42.420 Right? 00:27:42.420 --> 00:27:50.600 So our deepest need as human beings, our deepest need is to be fully known and fully loved. 00:27:51.400 --> 00:27:53.279 Fully known and fully loved. 00:27:53.740 --> 00:27:55.019 That's the heart of intimacy. 00:27:56.340 --> 00:28:03.380 But our great fear, at least my great fear, if you're anything like me, our greatest fear is the more somebody gets to know me, 00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:10.440 the more they see, the more likelihood there is that they will see something that will cause them to reject me. 00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:10.920 Right? 00:28:12.039 --> 00:28:19.880 So, you know, the more you get to know me, and it starts with the physical things like, oh gosh, what if they see that my, you know, 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:27.860 that my belly hangs over my waistband or what if they see my cellulite or what if they realize that I burp a lot or what if they realize, you know, 00:28:27.900 --> 00:28:29.500 and it's the little things, right? 00:28:30.340 --> 00:28:32.160 But then it gets more and more and more personal. 00:28:32.420 --> 00:28:36.160 What, you know, well, what about when you see the way I act when I'm frustrated? 00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:41.040 Or what about when you see the way I treat people when I'm in traffic and the kind of things I yell at other cars? 00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:45.580 Or what if you begin to see what I'm like when I haven't gotten a lot of sleep or what I'm like at 3 o'clock in the morning? 00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:48.900 Or what I'm like when I feel insecure or what I'm like when I feel threatened? 00:28:48.980 --> 00:28:52.840 Or what I'm like when our kids are driving us crazy and I lose my temper and I blow up at my kids? 00:28:52.940 --> 00:28:56.880 And what if you, when you see that for the first time that I'm screaming at our kids at 3 o'clock in the morning? 00:28:57.160 --> 00:29:01.259 Or what if you see how nasty I can get when you come at me and you make me feel little? 00:29:01.560 --> 00:29:03.180 What if you see how nasty I can get? 00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:08.160 What if you see that passive-aggressive side of me that has only ever come out around my family? 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:11.720 But now that we're together and now that we've been together for 10 years, now that's coming out at you. 00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:16.320 What if you see that I fake that I'm compassionate but I'm not really that compassionate? 00:29:16.420 --> 00:29:19.600 What if you see the way I actually don't care about people the way I pretend to? 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:26.080 What if you see, right, and the burps and the cellulite feel like ancient history? 00:29:27.120 --> 00:29:28.799 What if you see that part of me? 00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:35.059 What are you going to do when you realize I'm not at all the person that you thought you were marrying? 00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:37.500 What are you going to do? 00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:42.200 A covenant says you're safe with me. 00:29:44.379 --> 00:29:49.639 It says no matter what I see, I pledge myself. 00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:52.060 I pledge myself to love you. 00:29:52.600 --> 00:29:53.380 No matter what. 00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:55.060 Right? 00:29:55.300 --> 00:29:59.980 King Solomon goes from body part to body part praising his bride for her beauty. 00:30:00.280 --> 00:30:04.700 Imagine if somebody were to do that for us not only physically but psychologically and emotionally. 00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:06.440 Imagine that. 00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:12.880 So the first thing is a covenant means you pledge to love every part of a person even before you've seen it. 00:30:13.140 --> 00:30:16.440 The second reason we need a covenant for intimacy is connected to the first. 00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:20.019 A covenant protects your relationship from its biggest threat. 00:30:20.360 --> 00:30:22.000 It protects it from its biggest threat. 00:30:22.180 --> 00:30:22.860 You know what that is? 00:30:24.100 --> 00:30:24.799 It's you. 00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:28.600 You are the biggest threat to most of your relationships. 00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:32.539 I'm the biggest threat to most of my relationships. 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:34.519 You're the biggest threat. 00:30:34.519 --> 00:30:40.139 Because if you try to love anyone long enough, some of you are very loving people. 00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:45.619 You're sweet, wonderful, amazing, deep hearted, compassionate, rich people. 00:30:45.900 --> 00:30:47.259 You're good at loving others. 00:30:47.579 --> 00:30:54.180 But if you try to love anyone long enough, the time will come when you want to walk. 00:30:54.859 --> 00:30:56.700 I don't care how good a person you are. 00:30:57.220 --> 00:30:58.319 You will reach that point. 00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:02.759 You will reach that point where your heart is no longer in it. 00:31:02.819 --> 00:31:04.160 You no longer want to be there. 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.540 You're burned to a crisp. 00:31:05.660 --> 00:31:06.460 You're dried out. 00:31:06.580 --> 00:31:07.680 You've got empathy fatigue. 00:31:08.140 --> 00:31:09.180 You can't do it. 00:31:10.340 --> 00:31:10.560 You know? 00:31:11.320 --> 00:31:12.480 And you reach that point. 00:31:12.900 --> 00:31:15.840 Maybe 5, 10, 15, 20 years into the relationship. 00:31:15.980 --> 00:31:16.700 But you'll hit it. 00:31:17.300 --> 00:31:18.759 Where you say, I'm out of here. 00:31:18.800 --> 00:31:19.900 I can't take it anymore. 00:31:23.460 --> 00:31:24.360 But you made a covenant. 00:31:25.740 --> 00:31:26.940 And you know why you made a covenant? 00:31:26.940 --> 00:31:29.340 Because you knew that day would come. 00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:30.820 You didn't know when. 00:31:30.940 --> 00:31:32.680 But you knew the limits of your own heart. 00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:37.120 You knew that if you relied only on your feelings and only on your emotions, that wouldn't be enough. 00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:40.420 And you knew the day would come when your feet were already headed out the door. 00:31:40.500 --> 00:31:50.680 And the only thing that would keep you there, the only thing that would keep you in that home, or in that friendship, or in that church, the only thing that will keep you there is the covenant that you made. 00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:52.640 And you knew that. 00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:54.779 And so you made the covenant before it all happened. 00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:59.200 Because you knew you needed something stronger than your emotions. 00:32:00.560 --> 00:32:01.920 Because you know that it's worth it. 00:32:02.539 --> 00:32:04.700 Because this is the kind of intimacy you were made for. 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:06.799 Right? 00:32:06.900 --> 00:32:15.120 So many people think that love, just to focus on marriage for a second, many people think that love is what sustains a marriage. 00:32:15.500 --> 00:32:18.779 I've got to wait, marry the right person, and make sure we really fall in love. 00:32:18.840 --> 00:32:20.200 And there's a lot of desire there. 00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:25.000 And I've got to make sure that the love stays in the marriage. 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:30.460 And if our love dies, if we fall out of love, we've got to panic. 00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:34.220 And maybe that means we've got to rethink this marriage. 00:32:34.340 --> 00:32:34.519 Right? 00:32:35.120 --> 00:32:36.860 But we have it entirely backwards. 00:32:38.299 --> 00:32:39.740 Love doesn't sustain marriage. 00:32:40.120 --> 00:32:41.640 Marriage sustains love. 00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:43.460 That's how it works. 00:32:44.340 --> 00:32:45.519 Marriage sustains love. 00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:49.100 The marital covenant is like a hard protective armor. 00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:55.000 Because all of these forces are slamming down on you over the course of your life. 00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:59.240 And the covenant protects what's inside. 00:32:59.460 --> 00:33:01.080 And what's inside is your love and intimacy. 00:33:02.200 --> 00:33:05.000 But that love and intimacy, it can't withstand anything. 00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:06.340 Right? 00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:08.080 All those forces would destroy it. 00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:09.179 So you need that armor. 00:33:09.679 --> 00:33:17.799 That love that you feel, that's a fragile, effervescent, often completely irrational, unpredictable thing. 00:33:19.179 --> 00:33:21.099 Sometimes it's like the tiniest little ember. 00:33:22.099 --> 00:33:23.559 And the covenant protects it. 00:33:24.019 --> 00:33:28.720 It keeps it from getting completely destroyed by the things that life throws at you. 00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:33.839 So we need a covenant to protect our relationship from its biggest threat, which is very often us. 00:33:34.900 --> 00:33:42.180 And the third thing that we need, the third reason that we need a covenant is a covenant can actually increase the satisfaction that you feel for the one that you love. 00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:42.779 Did you know that? 00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:50.019 There was an interesting study done, interesting research done a few years ago, where researchers created an art class. 00:33:50.019 --> 00:33:53.299 And they created two groups, group A and group B. 00:33:54.019 --> 00:33:59.720 And group A was told, everybody was told, we want you to create over the course of the class two paintings. 00:34:00.539 --> 00:34:06.819 And at the end of the class, group A was told, we want you to choose one of the paintings to take home and we'll keep the other one. 00:34:07.139 --> 00:34:12.420 But once you make your choice, it's irrevocable and you will be stuck with that painting. 00:34:12.500 --> 00:34:13.199 So choose wisely. 00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:17.579 Group B was told, we want you to pick one of your two paintings, take it home. 00:34:17.579 --> 00:34:22.719 But if at any point you change your mind and want to come back, you can come back and we'll make the exchange, no problem. 00:34:23.420 --> 00:34:26.880 Then they waited six months and a year and five years, eight years. 00:34:27.079 --> 00:34:32.699 And they followed up with these people and they asked about their level of satisfaction with the choice that they made. 00:34:32.779 --> 00:34:35.719 Are you happy and satisfied with the painting that you have? 00:34:36.139 --> 00:34:39.539 Guess which group was significantly happier with their choice? 00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:41.000 It was group A. 00:34:42.139 --> 00:34:44.179 Group A said, yeah, I love this painting. 00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:45.699 I've thoroughly enjoyed it. 00:34:46.019 --> 00:34:47.059 Have you ever had any second thoughts? 00:34:47.059 --> 00:34:48.039 No, I really haven't. 00:34:48.099 --> 00:34:49.259 This is a great painting. 00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:50.119 This is the one I want. 00:34:50.599 --> 00:34:51.639 We've so enjoyed it. 00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:56.340 Group B, on the other hand, when they asked group B, group B people said, you know, I don't know. 00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.380 I kind of like it, but I kind of like the other one. 00:34:58.460 --> 00:34:59.619 And maybe I made a mistake. 00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:02.900 And a number of them had gone and swapped it out a couple of times. 00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:04.139 And I just really don't know. 00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:06.699 And there's markedly different reactions, right? 00:35:06.860 --> 00:35:07.920 Well, what does that tell us? 00:35:09.820 --> 00:35:14.340 Well, we live in a society where we assume that happiness is connected to choice. 00:35:14.340 --> 00:35:16.660 That the more choices I have, the happier I'm going to be. 00:35:17.680 --> 00:35:23.200 But what this research shows us is happiness is not about the number of choices. 00:35:24.100 --> 00:35:27.920 Happiness and satisfaction is much more about the depth of your commitment. 00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:31.120 It's not the number of choices. 00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:32.620 It's not knowing that you have an out. 00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:34.000 Not knowing that you have a back door. 00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.619 Satisfaction comes when you're all in. 00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:38.619 When you're committed. 00:35:39.739 --> 00:35:40.139 Irrevocably. 00:35:41.699 --> 00:35:43.059 That's the power of a covenant. 00:35:44.559 --> 00:35:44.780 Right? 00:35:44.860 --> 00:35:48.099 So intimacy can only thrive inside a covenant relationship. 00:35:48.619 --> 00:35:51.400 But this is something our culture, frankly, does not understand. 00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:53.480 We don't understand this. 00:35:54.260 --> 00:35:56.519 And I think one of the main reasons, and this is just me, 00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:00.860 but I think one of the main reasons our society is so starved for intimacy 00:36:00.860 --> 00:36:04.699 is because we have largely done away with the whole idea of covenant. 00:36:05.539 --> 00:36:07.840 It really does not play a big part in our life anymore. 00:36:08.699 --> 00:36:08.820 Right? 00:36:08.860 --> 00:36:10.980 So people say, well, we still have marriage, right? 00:36:11.019 --> 00:36:11.759 That still happens. 00:36:12.840 --> 00:36:15.940 Well, we no longer have a covenantal understanding of marriage. 00:36:16.019 --> 00:36:20.940 Most people think of marriage not as a covenant, but as a contract. 00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:23.139 They're two very different things. 00:36:23.780 --> 00:36:25.780 A covenant says, I'm all in 100%. 00:36:25.780 --> 00:36:29.120 I'm pledging myself as a person to you as a person regardless. 00:36:29.320 --> 00:36:29.920 That's a covenant. 00:36:31.019 --> 00:36:32.340 A contract is very different. 00:36:32.420 --> 00:36:34.240 A contract is 50-50. 00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:38.140 It's an agreement of an exchange of goods and services. 00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:40.720 A contract says, I'll uphold my end of the bargain. 00:36:40.840 --> 00:36:42.360 If you uphold your end of the bargain. 00:36:42.500 --> 00:36:46.760 But if you fail to meet my needs or uphold your end of the agreement, I'm out. 00:36:47.340 --> 00:36:49.340 If my needs get met, I'll stay in it. 00:36:49.340 --> 00:36:50.820 But once my needs aren't getting met anymore, 00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:54.420 once you're not fulfilling your obligations to me, 00:36:54.420 --> 00:36:57.260 the contract is rendered null and void. 00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:00.860 It's a very different understanding of marriage. 00:37:01.019 --> 00:37:02.920 And because of this shift in our society, 00:37:03.579 --> 00:37:06.539 Stephanie Kuntz, who's a historian who studies marriage, 00:37:07.159 --> 00:37:08.760 says that, quote, 00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:12.860 everywhere, marriage is becoming more optional and more fragile. 00:37:13.860 --> 00:37:17.840 Everywhere, the once predictable link between marriage and child rearing is fraying. 00:37:19.080 --> 00:37:21.400 So marriage, we no longer think of it as a covenant. 00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:22.580 We think of it as a contract. 00:37:23.240 --> 00:37:25.340 One more example I'll give you for the sake of time 00:37:25.340 --> 00:37:27.800 is in the area of sexual ethics. 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:30.140 Got to talk about that. 00:37:31.100 --> 00:37:31.400 Right? 00:37:31.400 --> 00:37:38.860 Because of the idea that sex should be contained and reserved for the covenant of marriage, 00:37:39.619 --> 00:37:42.460 that idea of sex happening in the covenant of marriage, 00:37:42.780 --> 00:37:44.920 most people today, even most Christians, 00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:47.860 consider to be completely antiquated, 00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:48.920 obsolete, 00:37:49.700 --> 00:37:50.260 unrealistic. 00:37:50.680 --> 00:37:51.880 It's a relic of the past. 00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:54.720 It's like, that's like an idea that you go see in a museum somewhere, 00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:56.139 back when people actually did that. 00:37:56.139 --> 00:37:56.859 Right? 00:37:57.179 --> 00:38:01.379 And so, instead of an ethics built around covenant, 00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:04.039 we now have the ethic of consent. 00:38:05.059 --> 00:38:06.500 That's what's replaced it. 00:38:07.259 --> 00:38:10.579 And all you have to do is read the news on any given day these days 00:38:10.579 --> 00:38:13.480 to see story after story after story 00:38:13.480 --> 00:38:15.679 that will hopefully show you 00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:18.219 that consent is insufficient. 00:38:19.500 --> 00:38:20.839 It's insufficient. 00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:24.579 It's absolutely an important idea. 00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:25.519 Right? 00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:27.059 It's better to have that than nothing. 00:38:27.699 --> 00:38:28.840 But it's not enough. 00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:30.239 It's anemic. 00:38:30.699 --> 00:38:31.940 It's virtually powerless 00:38:31.940 --> 00:38:33.800 to protect people 00:38:33.800 --> 00:38:35.079 from the kind of evil 00:38:35.079 --> 00:38:37.280 that is occurring on a daily basis. 00:38:38.259 --> 00:38:39.759 But that's what we have. 00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:41.500 And it begs the question, 00:38:41.699 --> 00:38:44.639 why would we insist on this ethic 00:38:44.639 --> 00:38:47.980 when we see time and time and time again 00:38:47.980 --> 00:38:50.119 it fails? 00:38:50.759 --> 00:38:51.940 It fails. 00:38:51.940 --> 00:38:55.500 And the reason I think that we insist on consent 00:38:55.500 --> 00:38:57.800 as the sum total of our sexual ethics, 00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:00.400 the reason that we're not willing to rethink this, 00:39:01.400 --> 00:39:03.200 I think it's pretty clear. 00:39:03.579 --> 00:39:05.780 I think that it's because more than anything else, 00:39:05.880 --> 00:39:07.740 even the well-being of the victims, 00:39:08.200 --> 00:39:10.860 we want to be able to do what we want, 00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:11.519 when we want, 00:39:11.940 --> 00:39:13.000 with whomever we want. 00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:17.579 And consent is the minimum standard 00:39:17.579 --> 00:39:20.260 that is the least invasive. 00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:23.400 Consent is an ethical standard 00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:28.619 that impinges least on my freedom. 00:39:29.380 --> 00:39:29.820 Right? 00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:30.800 Because consent says, 00:39:31.179 --> 00:39:32.679 you can do whatever you want. 00:39:33.179 --> 00:39:33.400 You know, 00:39:33.659 --> 00:39:34.179 office, 00:39:34.539 --> 00:39:34.739 you know, 00:39:34.780 --> 00:39:36.900 kind of having an affair in your office 00:39:36.900 --> 00:39:38.019 between boss and employee, 00:39:38.400 --> 00:39:39.000 totally fine. 00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:40.000 Extramarital affair, 00:39:40.159 --> 00:39:40.820 totally fine. 00:39:41.539 --> 00:39:41.719 You know, 00:39:41.800 --> 00:39:43.519 drunken late night hookup sex, 00:39:43.579 --> 00:39:44.119 one night stand, 00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:44.940 totally fine. 00:39:45.059 --> 00:39:45.840 You can do whatever you want, 00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:46.900 as long as you have consent. 00:39:48.139 --> 00:39:50.699 But sex is considered amoral. 00:39:51.460 --> 00:39:51.860 Right? 00:39:51.940 --> 00:39:54.199 There's no moral dimension to it, 00:39:54.219 --> 00:39:55.199 as long as there's consent. 00:39:55.239 --> 00:39:56.099 That's the only measure. 00:39:57.139 --> 00:39:57.880 Anything goes. 00:39:58.739 --> 00:40:00.159 And I think that we love this idea 00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:02.599 because it's minimally invasive 00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:04.440 to the kind of life that I want to live. 00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:07.480 And I honestly think that this is the elephant in the room 00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:09.219 that nobody seems to be talking about. 00:40:09.579 --> 00:40:11.139 We are more devoted 00:40:11.139 --> 00:40:13.940 to the idol of sexual freedom 00:40:13.940 --> 00:40:16.780 than we are the safety and welfare of our people. 00:40:18.179 --> 00:40:20.400 We're more devoted to the idol of sexual freedom 00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:23.400 than we are the safety and welfare of our people. 00:40:23.519 --> 00:40:26.260 We don't ultimately want to change anything, 00:40:26.539 --> 00:40:27.920 even if there are casualties. 00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:30.019 Because to us, 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:30.679 it's worth it. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:32.659 And at the core of this 00:40:32.659 --> 00:40:33.579 is a distorted, 00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:35.619 twisted definition of freedom 00:40:35.619 --> 00:40:38.199 that has become an idol in our culture. 00:40:38.659 --> 00:40:38.799 You know, 00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:40.239 we think that freedom 00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:42.819 means the ability to do what I want. 00:40:43.299 --> 00:40:44.420 More choices, the better. 00:40:44.659 --> 00:40:46.339 That's how we think freedom works. 00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:47.920 But in Scripture, 00:40:48.559 --> 00:40:50.299 when God liberates his people 00:40:50.299 --> 00:40:52.159 from generations of slavery, 00:40:52.359 --> 00:40:52.519 right? 00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:53.359 Imagine that. 00:40:54.219 --> 00:40:55.679 Your parents and your grandparents 00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:56.359 and their parents, 00:40:56.440 --> 00:40:57.519 they all grew up slaves. 00:40:59.019 --> 00:40:59.719 It's a people who, 00:40:59.779 --> 00:41:01.420 they've forgotten what freedom is. 00:41:01.480 --> 00:41:03.219 They have no idea how to live as free people 00:41:03.219 --> 00:41:04.759 because all they can remember is slavery. 00:41:05.419 --> 00:41:07.359 And God finally liberates them from Egypt, 00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:08.539 brings them into wilderness. 00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:09.299 And what does he do? 00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:10.699 Does he say, 00:41:10.779 --> 00:41:11.319 you're free, 00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:11.799 go, 00:41:12.059 --> 00:41:12.859 do whatever you want. 00:41:13.099 --> 00:41:14.259 Fly away, little birds. 00:41:14.599 --> 00:41:14.879 Go, 00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:15.939 live your lives. 00:41:16.059 --> 00:41:16.459 Be free, 00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:17.000 be free. 00:41:17.139 --> 00:41:17.439 No. 00:41:18.099 --> 00:41:19.959 They have no idea how to be free. 00:41:20.959 --> 00:41:22.719 God has to teach them how to be free. 00:41:22.980 --> 00:41:23.799 You know how he does it? 00:41:25.059 --> 00:41:25.459 Covenant. 00:41:26.659 --> 00:41:27.519 Through Moses. 00:41:28.500 --> 00:41:30.139 I'm going to teach you how to be free. 00:41:30.139 --> 00:41:33.900 Because the definition of true, 00:41:34.119 --> 00:41:35.460 real freedom is very different 00:41:35.460 --> 00:41:36.920 than what we think it is. 00:41:38.039 --> 00:41:40.460 Freedom is not just the ability to choose. 00:41:41.420 --> 00:41:42.500 Anybody can do that. 00:41:43.359 --> 00:41:44.900 It's the ability to choose well. 00:41:46.460 --> 00:41:48.599 Freedom is not getting what we want 00:41:48.599 --> 00:41:49.339 when we want it. 00:41:50.980 --> 00:41:53.639 Freedom is being able to want 00:41:53.639 --> 00:41:55.759 that for which we were made. 00:41:55.760 --> 00:41:58.300 That is what sets you free. 00:41:58.560 --> 00:42:01.700 To want that for which you were made. 00:42:02.620 --> 00:42:04.580 And we were made for intimacy 00:42:04.580 --> 00:42:07.580 with God and with God's people. 00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:10.200 And freedom then 00:42:10.200 --> 00:42:12.160 means desiring that 00:42:12.160 --> 00:42:13.900 more than anything else. 00:42:14.060 --> 00:42:15.480 That is what will set you free. 00:42:16.520 --> 00:42:19.040 So this is why as a church 00:42:19.040 --> 00:42:21.640 we understand that covenants 00:42:21.640 --> 00:42:23.240 are extremely important 00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:24.479 and that that is the road 00:42:24.479 --> 00:42:26.259 to the vehicle of freedom 00:42:26.259 --> 00:42:27.319 in the Christian life. 00:42:27.619 --> 00:42:29.659 So we take marriages very seriously. 00:42:30.039 --> 00:42:31.899 And we treat marriages as covenants. 00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:33.359 And we put a lot of work 00:42:33.359 --> 00:42:33.839 and thought 00:42:33.839 --> 00:42:35.439 as much as we can 00:42:35.439 --> 00:42:37.559 into helping people 00:42:37.559 --> 00:42:38.459 make good decisions. 00:42:38.919 --> 00:42:39.519 Into making sure 00:42:39.519 --> 00:42:40.879 they get good premarital counseling. 00:42:41.019 --> 00:42:41.519 Into making sure 00:42:41.519 --> 00:42:43.279 that the community is involved. 00:42:43.439 --> 00:42:44.219 Whenever we do a wedding 00:42:44.219 --> 00:42:45.079 whenever I do a wedding 00:42:45.079 --> 00:42:46.539 we announce it from up front. 00:42:46.659 --> 00:42:47.799 We announce the bans of marriage 00:42:47.799 --> 00:42:48.500 just to let you know 00:42:48.500 --> 00:42:49.159 this is happening. 00:42:49.439 --> 00:42:50.179 We want the community 00:42:50.179 --> 00:42:50.939 to be a part of it. 00:42:50.940 --> 00:42:52.139 We encourage people 00:42:52.139 --> 00:42:52.980 who get married in D.C. 00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:54.099 to invite the whole church. 00:42:55.139 --> 00:42:56.679 And then once people are married 00:42:56.679 --> 00:42:58.119 we fight for those marriages. 00:42:58.280 --> 00:42:58.820 At their wedding 00:42:58.820 --> 00:42:59.500 we tell people 00:42:59.500 --> 00:43:00.480 we're going to make you 00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:02.320 agree publicly here 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:03.920 to support and uphold this marriage. 00:43:04.179 --> 00:43:05.320 Everybody has to say that 00:43:05.320 --> 00:43:06.760 if you come to one of our weddings. 00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:08.360 And then we make sure 00:43:08.360 --> 00:43:09.099 we do all that we can 00:43:09.099 --> 00:43:10.440 to support and fight for marriages. 00:43:10.539 --> 00:43:11.659 And we do everything we can 00:43:11.659 --> 00:43:12.619 to make sure that divorce 00:43:12.619 --> 00:43:13.559 is not even an option. 00:43:14.420 --> 00:43:15.559 To fight against it 00:43:15.559 --> 00:43:17.039 as long as we possibly can. 00:43:18.440 --> 00:43:18.599 Right? 00:43:18.860 --> 00:43:19.639 This means 00:43:19.639 --> 00:43:20.779 even more than that 00:43:20.779 --> 00:43:21.639 that I think 00:43:21.639 --> 00:43:22.819 that we also need to recover 00:43:22.819 --> 00:43:24.039 the lost practice 00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:25.079 of covenant friendships. 00:43:25.980 --> 00:43:27.099 Like David and Jonathan 00:43:27.099 --> 00:43:28.500 like Ruth and Naomi. 00:43:28.659 --> 00:43:29.259 We need to create 00:43:29.259 --> 00:43:30.900 a context in the church 00:43:30.900 --> 00:43:32.719 where people can pledge themselves 00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:34.900 to long term friendship. 00:43:35.059 --> 00:43:35.619 There are a lot of people 00:43:35.619 --> 00:43:36.519 in the community 00:43:36.519 --> 00:43:37.980 who may for whatever reason 00:43:37.980 --> 00:43:39.239 never have a nuclear family 00:43:39.239 --> 00:43:40.019 never get married 00:43:40.019 --> 00:43:40.879 never have kids. 00:43:42.019 --> 00:43:43.099 We need to recover 00:43:43.099 --> 00:43:44.839 the construct 00:43:44.839 --> 00:43:45.980 of covenant 00:43:45.980 --> 00:43:46.579 deep 00:43:46.579 --> 00:43:47.440 spiritual 00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:48.719 intimate friendships. 00:43:48.719 --> 00:43:50.559 that needs to become 00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:51.179 normative 00:43:51.179 --> 00:43:52.000 in the church 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:52.759 I think. 00:43:53.019 --> 00:43:53.919 We've got a lot of work to do 00:43:53.919 --> 00:43:55.779 but I'm very convicted 00:43:55.779 --> 00:43:56.359 about that. 00:43:57.179 --> 00:43:57.919 Another thing it means 00:43:57.919 --> 00:43:59.019 is it means that we practice 00:43:59.019 --> 00:43:59.859 covenant membership 00:43:59.859 --> 00:44:00.459 in our church. 00:44:00.619 --> 00:44:01.819 We strongly encourage people 00:44:01.819 --> 00:44:02.500 once they've been a part 00:44:02.500 --> 00:44:03.279 of our church for a while 00:44:03.279 --> 00:44:04.719 make a covenant 00:44:04.719 --> 00:44:05.539 with this community. 00:44:05.819 --> 00:44:06.439 Commit yourself 00:44:06.439 --> 00:44:07.599 to love and intimacy 00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:08.599 in this community. 00:44:08.739 --> 00:44:09.539 Become a stakeholder 00:44:09.539 --> 00:44:10.699 in the life of this community. 00:44:11.980 --> 00:44:13.179 So it means those things 00:44:13.179 --> 00:44:13.859 and last 00:44:13.859 --> 00:44:14.839 and most importantly 00:44:14.839 --> 00:44:17.000 if we understand 00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:17.880 what this is saying 00:44:17.880 --> 00:44:19.139 which I think we do 00:44:19.139 --> 00:44:20.960 it means that ultimately 00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:22.480 we don't put all of our hope 00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:23.579 in great marriages 00:44:23.579 --> 00:44:24.840 or great friendships 00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:26.659 or even great church membership 00:44:26.659 --> 00:44:29.199 that we put all of our hope 00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:29.760 ultimately 00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:30.460 in the covenant 00:44:30.460 --> 00:44:31.760 that we have in Jesus Christ. 00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:33.420 That we as a church 00:44:33.420 --> 00:44:34.219 understand 00:44:34.219 --> 00:44:35.739 that ultimately 00:44:35.739 --> 00:44:36.760 that is the greatest 00:44:36.760 --> 00:44:37.539 source of hope 00:44:37.539 --> 00:44:38.559 for any human being. 00:44:38.980 --> 00:44:40.360 Because all Christians 00:44:40.360 --> 00:44:41.760 who have believed 00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:42.239 the gospel 00:44:42.239 --> 00:44:42.880 and repented 00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:43.820 and come to Jesus 00:44:43.820 --> 00:44:45.139 desiring his grace 00:44:45.139 --> 00:44:45.699 and forgiveness 00:44:45.699 --> 00:44:47.099 all Christians are 00:44:47.099 --> 00:44:47.779 in a way 00:44:47.779 --> 00:44:49.659 betrothed to Jesus. 00:44:50.440 --> 00:44:51.319 If you're a Christian 00:44:51.319 --> 00:44:52.379 you're betrothed 00:44:52.379 --> 00:44:53.259 to Jesus. 00:44:53.900 --> 00:44:54.460 Now you don't have 00:44:54.460 --> 00:44:55.079 a wedding ring 00:44:55.079 --> 00:44:56.000 but what do you have? 00:44:56.960 --> 00:44:58.199 You have your baptism. 00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:00.379 Your baptism. 00:45:00.900 --> 00:45:01.519 Your baptism 00:45:01.519 --> 00:45:02.879 is the symbol 00:45:02.879 --> 00:45:03.739 of the covenant 00:45:03.739 --> 00:45:04.719 that exists 00:45:04.719 --> 00:45:05.480 between you 00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:06.699 and Jesus Christ. 00:45:07.619 --> 00:45:08.839 And just as Jesus 00:45:08.839 --> 00:45:10.019 tells his disciples 00:45:10.019 --> 00:45:11.739 in John chapter 14 00:45:11.739 --> 00:45:13.039 don't worry 00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:13.839 I'm going away 00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:15.240 but I'm going to prepare 00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:16.519 a place for you 00:45:16.519 --> 00:45:17.860 in my father's house. 00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:18.780 Did you ever understand 00:45:18.780 --> 00:45:19.620 why he said that? 00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:22.039 That's wedding language. 00:45:23.059 --> 00:45:23.980 You're my bride. 00:45:24.500 --> 00:45:25.579 I'm going to prepare 00:45:25.579 --> 00:45:26.480 a place for you 00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:28.220 in my father's house 00:45:28.220 --> 00:45:29.039 and when it's ready 00:45:29.039 --> 00:45:29.900 and when the time is right 00:45:29.900 --> 00:45:31.039 I will come for you. 00:45:32.019 --> 00:45:32.740 And we see 00:45:32.740 --> 00:45:33.340 what that day 00:45:33.340 --> 00:45:33.880 will look like 00:45:33.880 --> 00:45:35.160 in Revelation chapter 19 00:45:35.160 --> 00:45:36.280 that the day will come 00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:37.420 when we're going 00:45:37.420 --> 00:45:38.120 about our business 00:45:38.120 --> 00:45:38.740 and all of a sudden 00:45:38.740 --> 00:45:39.380 we look up 00:45:39.380 --> 00:45:40.260 and we see 00:45:40.260 --> 00:45:41.579 maybe dust 00:45:41.579 --> 00:45:42.640 rising in the distance 00:45:42.640 --> 00:45:43.000 and we say 00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:43.660 what is that? 00:45:44.120 --> 00:45:44.900 And then we realize 00:45:44.900 --> 00:45:45.840 it's the great 00:45:45.840 --> 00:45:47.059 wedding processional 00:45:47.059 --> 00:45:48.680 that Jesus has come again 00:45:48.680 --> 00:45:50.760 and he's coming for us 00:45:50.760 --> 00:45:52.380 and Jesus will 00:45:52.380 --> 00:45:54.800 draw up to us 00:45:54.800 --> 00:45:56.000 and he will reach out 00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:57.120 and he will draw us 00:45:57.120 --> 00:45:58.059 to himself 00:45:58.059 --> 00:46:01.240 and we will become one. 00:46:01.340 --> 00:46:02.240 The two shall become 00:46:02.240 --> 00:46:03.240 one flesh 00:46:03.240 --> 00:46:04.860 and then Jesus 00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:05.820 in that intimacy 00:46:05.820 --> 00:46:07.240 will behold us. 00:46:07.340 --> 00:46:07.800 He will look at 00:46:07.800 --> 00:46:08.820 all that we are 00:46:08.820 --> 00:46:09.980 all that we've done 00:46:09.980 --> 00:46:11.079 everything that we've 00:46:11.079 --> 00:46:12.079 all of the mistakes 00:46:12.079 --> 00:46:12.640 that we've made 00:46:12.640 --> 00:46:13.360 all of our flaws 00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:14.200 all of the things 00:46:14.200 --> 00:46:14.640 that we hid 00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:16.200 even from our spouse 00:46:16.200 --> 00:46:17.820 even from our best friends 00:46:17.820 --> 00:46:18.519 all of the things 00:46:18.519 --> 00:46:19.160 that we hoped 00:46:19.160 --> 00:46:20.160 nobody would ever see 00:46:20.160 --> 00:46:20.860 and he will look 00:46:20.860 --> 00:46:21.780 at all of those things 00:46:21.780 --> 00:46:22.860 and because of his grace 00:46:22.860 --> 00:46:24.840 he will look at each part 00:46:24.840 --> 00:46:25.340 and say 00:46:25.340 --> 00:46:26.140 behold 00:46:26.140 --> 00:46:27.880 you are beautiful 00:46:27.880 --> 00:46:28.460 my love 00:46:28.460 --> 00:46:29.860 you are beautiful 00:46:29.860 --> 00:46:32.280 and once he's done that 00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:33.460 the celebration 00:46:33.460 --> 00:46:34.079 will begin 00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:36.460 and the streets 00:46:36.460 --> 00:46:37.659 of the new Jerusalem 00:46:37.659 --> 00:46:38.460 will be filled 00:46:38.460 --> 00:46:39.079 with singing 00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:41.920 but the singing 00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:42.840 won't just last 00:46:42.840 --> 00:46:43.960 seven days 00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:46.659 at this wedding celebration 00:46:46.659 --> 00:46:48.440 the singing will last 00:46:48.440 --> 00:46:49.400 for all of eternity 00:46:49.400 --> 00:46:51.219 and that is the great promise 00:46:51.219 --> 00:46:52.079 and hope of the gospel 00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:53.779 let's pray 00:46:53.780 --> 00:46:55.700 and pray 00:46:55.700 --> 00:46:56.480 five 00:46:56.480 --> 00:46:57.060 and 00:46:57.060 --> 00:46:57.280 you 00:46:57.280 --> 00:46:59.200 you 00:46:59.200 --> 00:46:59.480 to 00:46:59.480 --> 00:46:59.920 and 00:47:00.620 --> 00:47:01.200 you 00:47:01.200 --> 00:47:02.540 and 00:47:02.540 --> 00:47:02.640 it 00:47:02.640 --> 00:47:03.300 will