I bet I'm recording right now. Look at that. But I want to stop.
Good morning.
Well, I am starting late today, but I'm going to try and start anyway.
And let me remind myself where we were last week.
We started on a series of lessons about restoring damaged relationships.
And if you don't have a handout, let me offer you one.
In fact, let me just give those to you and hand them out as you see fit.
And you can put them back over there.
There are some more handouts in the back, too.
And last week, we covered some introductory material.
I started looking at the story of Joseph and his brothers.
And I spoke of four steps in restoring damaged relationships.
And suggested that, though you could talk about that subject of restoring damaged relationships in various ways from a biblical perspective,
that this was one way to try and put all the material together.
And...
Hey! Hi, Ben!
Hello!
Uh...
You got the recorder. That's good.
I got the recorder from Matt.
Excuse me just a moment.
And...
Shortly, we may have some video.
Video.
Uh...
Just a visual.
Cool.
And...
So we started talking about what I call a first step in restoring damaged relationships.
And that is dealing with the anger that people almost always feel when they're in a meaningful relationship
and some other person in a relationship hurts them.
Uh...
It is natural, and I think not necessarily sinful, to get angry as a result.
Um...
But, I suggested that, uh...
We should not stay angry.
The Bible tells us to, uh...
Renounce anger against, uh...
Others.
And that that's a first step that we can take ourselves.
Whatever the other people are.
We can take that step.
Now, I didn't provide any opportunity for, uh...
Questions last week.
Uh...
But, two people did ask me questions during the week.
Um...
And, in fact,
The two people both asked the same question.
So I thought it would be good to start off with that question
and, uh...
Give those of you who want to a chance to ask questions at the beginning.
And, uh...
We'll go on from there.
So...
The, uh...
One person emailed me a question, and I'll read it to you.
Um...
I did wonder about renouncing anger.
What about the case of repeated offenses?
Is there a distinction between godly indignation and unrighteous anger?
Should godly indignation be, uh...
Dispersed with after a few days in all cases?
And that statement may be up on the screen sometime soon.
Um...
Whereas I had said something like this.
If you are angry with someone for more than a few days
and are not in the process of renouncing anger,
then you are probably sinning.
Ah, I think we're getting really close.
Um...
So...
Uh...
I'll repeat those more or less if you want.
If you need it.
But what do you think?
Uh...
Is the statement that I just made again...
Uh...
Do you think that's biblical?
Or do you think it's missing something?
Uh...
Once again, the person said,
I wonder about your treatment of renouncing anger.
Um...
Is...
I'm going to put a cable on your map.
Thank you.
I'll try not to trick over it.
Okay.
Uh...
I'm going to need that closer, I think.
Well, um...
If you have any thoughts,
you can share those.
You know what I'm saying.
Uh...
Or, uh...
If you have a different question,
you could ask that too.
And I'll give you a moment to think.
And you know what?
Let's pray.
Heavenly Father,
as we get started this morning,
and as we deal with technology,
above all, Lord,
we want to meet with you.
We want to know you better
and experience your love
and grow up more
as your sons and daughters.
Help us to follow your example
of loving others
and being involved in it.
reconciling with us.
Help us now, Lord,
we ask.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Boy, things went so smoothly
with this last week.
But, uh...
That's no guarantee, is it?
You know, I would say
from one of those questions,
you said,
biblically,
we know that that's what
we should do,
is reconciliation.
But personally, for me,
what we should biblically do
isn't always what's easiest to do
or what my very sinful nature
wants to do.
So it's one of the hardest things
I struggle with
because I want to stay indignant
that I've been wronged
in a relationship.
And that person should make
the first move,
right?
The first move
to come to me
and say,
gee, I'm sorry I wronged you.
And so it's a really hard thing
for me to truly say,
I give it up to the Lord
and let it go.
So,
I know I should do it,
so it isn't.
I know
reconciliation
is a biblical
command,
so to speak,
but
my nature just doesn't
want to go there.
And
I'm just,
I think,
Kirsten was using
the term
reconciliation
in a certain way.
Well,
maybe including
a whole process
which I call
forgiveness
and repentance
and sin.
For restoring
the relationship.
If,
once again,
if you have a handout,
you can look
and see this here,
or if you don't have one,
we can certainly
get you one.
I suggest
thinking of
the restoration
of the relationship
process
in terms of
four steps,
and I call
the third one
reconciliation.
But,
you know,
it's just
however you define it.
You talk about
the whole thing
is reconciliation
or forgiveness.
things.
But,
what
Kirsten
is saying
accurately
is that
many times
when we've
been hurt
and
we're angry,
yeah,
righteous,
we think
it's righteous
indignation,
we think
we have a
right
to be angry.
We are,
we're hurt,
and yes,
let the other
person take
the first step.
And,
what I'm
suggesting
is,
and I haven't
said this point
clearly yet,
is that the
first two steps,
renouncing anger
and responding
in love,
are things
that we can
do
whatever
the attitude
or will
of the other
person is.
the step
that I call
reconciliation
involves
interaction,
discussion,
honesty,
asking for
forgiveness,
being forgiven,
those kinds
of things,
which you need
two willing
parties to
do well.
But,
I'm suggesting
right in line
with what
Kirsten said
that,
yes,
a first step
that God
calls us
to take
when a
relationship's
been damaged
and we're
angry,
is to
say,
Lord,
help me,
I'm going
to,
help me get
over this
and I
tried to
make clear
last week
that that
isn't necessarily
going to be
an instantaneous
thing.
Lord,
take this
anger away.
Ah,
and you'll
never be
angry about
what happened
again.
Rather,
I'm suggesting
that's the
start of a
process.
That's right.
All right.
Now,
let me say
one more
thing.
Because,
the only
question I
got following
last week's
lesson was
about this.
I decided
to talk to
somebody,
they weren't
in the
class,
but to
talk to
somebody
about it.
And they
had a lot
to tell me.
And part
of what they
were telling
me is this.
what about
the steps
a person
needs to
take if
they've
been hurt
for their
own protection?
And maybe
as I talked
about it with
them, I was
coming across
as saying,
well, let's
just say this.
You're in an
abusive relationship
at work,
at home,
hopefully not
a church,
but wherever
it's been.
And,
I think they
were saying
to me,
well, Matt,
the first
step is,
you know,
get safe
yourself.
Get out
of the
abuse.
Can I
regroup
your forgiveness?
I'm sorry,
I'm laughing,
because I
had this
lousy
experience
yesterday.
I was
working on
preparing my
lesson for
today,
and all
of a sudden
Windows says,
we are doing
an update.
We are
reconfiguring
your computer.
And so,
for an
hour or
two, I
couldn't
work on
my computer
while it
reconfigured
things.
And last
night, it
was done,
and I got
back to
work, and
everything
seemed fine.
But maybe
not everything
is quite
fine.
Worked last
week, but
with this
new
configuration of
Windows 10,
who knows
what's
happening.
But it's
all right.
You can
keep working,
I'll try and
ignore you.
So, hi.
Hi, Sam.
Hi.
What's your
name?
My name's
Matt.
Hi, Matt.
If you'd like,
you can have a
handout.
help.
And so, the
approach I was
taking kind
of assumed
that you
weren't being
abused, you
know, and the
hurt wasn't
actively
on a regular
basis.
If you're
assuming that,
yes, then
get safe,
and then
you can
look to
God and
ask for
help in
doing what
he wants
you to do
to restore
the relationship,
which may
never happen
if the
other person
isn't living.
But,
yeah.
Any other
follow-up
comments on
that?
Yeah.
Any other
questions at
this point?
So, I'll
try one.
Yeah.
Thank you
for doing
this class.
And again,
I thought you
did a good
job last
week.
The part
that left
me uncomfortable
last week is
that, you
know, we
called Jacob's
relationship
broken, we
called even
Joseph's
relationship
broken, and
I understand
why.
But it
just didn't
sit well
with me
because through
Jacob and
the twelve
tribes of
Israel, through
Joseph, a
whole nation
was saved.
So, even
while we
consider it
broken, God
was doing
something good.
So, I
constantly go
back to
Peter's
dream, don't
call it
broken what
God has
used for
good.
So, I
just, I
don't know, it
didn't sit
well with me.
Okay, yeah,
yeah.
So, God
had a
purpose, that
he used the
sin of
Joseph's
brothers, and
I think the
sin of Joseph,
and the sin
of Jacob.
You know, God
used that, just
like he used
the sin of the
religious and
Roman authorities
in the day of
Jesus, you
know, so
that Jesus
ended up being
crucified and
dying for our
sins.
So, God
at least
uses good
for his
purposes, and
he's not
surprised by
it.
In fact, he
knows the
future.
Some would
say he
ordains all
the sin to
be happened,
or that's a
big question I
have a hard
time dealing
with.
But,
yes, God
used it.
But, I
think we'll
see that
Joseph, by
some years
later, both
knew that
God was
using him
for his
purposes, and
yet, he, I
believe, worked
really hard to
restore the
relationship with
his brothers.
He wanted a
good relationship
with them again.
people.
And so, God,
you know, can
use bad
things in our
lives, including
broken, damaged
relationships, for
good.
Oh, my, he's
used them in
my life over
and over again
to get my
attention
about
something.
good.
I've worked in
the New Haven
school system
for 11 years.
I taught
science, a
career in my
school.
And, uh, uh,
yeah.
And, um, but
I retired a
year ago.
But last
week, as
Debbie and I
were driving
through New
Haven, I
drove by my
old high
school, and
anger came
up with
anything.
and, as
best as I
can discern, it
had to do
with a
long-standing
resentment
that I had
against the
New Haven
public school
system.
Rightly or
wrongly, I
think a lot
of their
policies and
decisions
actually hurt
students instead
of helping
them.
And I, you
know, saw
things that I
thought were
bad to be
done over and
over again in
my 11 years.
You know, half
the faculty means
I went to, you
know, I go
away, oh, no,
you know, ah!
But I never
realized until
last week that
the anger I
was feeling about
those bad
policies, the
developed into
a resentment
against some
individuals and
the system as
a whole.
And then I
could remember,
you know, my
wife saying,
ah, Matt, you
know, in social
sense, whenever
education comes
up, you know,
you go on your
rampage, you
know, about what
should be done
and what's being
done wrong.
And, you
know, obviously
she was
implying I
did it in an
unhelpful,
inappropriate way.
And, you
know, I was
just passionate
about doing
what was right
for students,
right?
Well, that was
a piece of it.
But a piece of
it was that I
had not dealt
with my
righteous anger,
assuming some
of it was
righteous.
And instead
of dealing
with it, you
know, I got
angry this
time, angry
that time,
angry this
time, to the
point where
this resentment
built up that
not only affected
me at work,
but affected me
outside of work,
affected my
social
relationships
with other
people,
provided a
foothold for
safety.
So, I
pray, Lord,
help me,
let go of
that anger
and resentment
that had been
percolating in me
all these years.
so this
class has been
good for at
least one
person.
Now,
this wasn't,
this isn't as
clear as the
story of Joseph
and his
brothers,
but my
anger,
staying angry,
not dealing
with it,
leading to
resentment,
was wrong.
But God
eventually used
it to get
my attention
after I'd
learned some
more things
and did
another step
of his work
in my heart
making me a
little bit
more like
Jesus.
So,
yeah?
Is there a
particular passage
in the Bible
that you could
use when we
can't feel
like that?
Wow,
what a great
segue.
Yes,
do you have
the handout
there,
Chuck?
Okay,
so,
last week
in renouncing
anger,
I think there
were scriptures
over the five
how-tos under
there,
right?
Okay,
so the first
one,
you know,
I believe
suggests,
hey,
when you
stay angry
with someone
or a group
of people,
a system,
whatever it
is,
one,
realize,
ah,
God doesn't
want me to
stay angry
with these
people.
world,
and maybe
I'll focus
on that,
on people.
God,
I believe,
does not
want us
to stay
angry with
individuals
or groups.
So,
first acknowledge
that and
say,
God,
help me
let go
of this.
So,
that's the
first step.
Second step
is,
you know,
don't keep
going over
it in your
mind.
And I
give,
you know,
references
to the
love chapter,
1 Corinthians
13,
that suggests
that love
doesn't do
that.
And love
doesn't,
love hopes
that things
can be better.
There's no
guarantee that
things will be
better in our
broken relationships,
but we can at
least hope that.
So we don't
have to say,
oh,
they did that
to me before,
and they're
going to do
it again.
Rather,
oh,
Lord,
change me,
change that.
Step four
is,
remember that
I've sinned
too.
In a damaged
relationship,
in any
relationship,
you know,
there's,
being sinners,
you know,
it's almost
guaranteed that
there's fault
on both sides.
And God
calls us
to forgive
others
as he
forgives us.
And forgiveness
can mean a lot
of different things,
but,
here,
in that
context,
I think it
at least
means,
you know,
not staying
angry with
them.
And Matthew,
the,
Chuck,
there's a
reference to
Matthew there
with step,
or how to
for,
also.
Yeah,
so that's the
parable of the
unforgiving servant.
And if you,
you're a person,
you know,
who kind of
delights in getting
angry,
you know,
feeling that
righteous
sanctification,
you might
want to
read that
over,
because it's
kind of like
a real
negative
warning about
don't do
that.
God doesn't
like it.
It's not
good.
And then,
how to's,
four and five,
are positive
things.
last week I
would have
projected this
on the screen
for you.
Today I
can't.
And so,
Is the
projector
broken?
They're not
communicating well.
Oh,
wow.
The computer,
yes,
these things
happen sometimes.
But,
step four is,
oh yes,
forgive as
God has
forgiven you.
How to
is pray
for those
who have
treated you
badly.
And for me,
this has been
the most
practical,
positive step.
When I've
been in the
process of
letting go of
my anger
against somebody,
when I
start
replaying,
you know,
what they
did to me,
being committed
not to do
that,
and when I'm
aware of it,
saying,
ah,
yes,
God wants
me instead
to pray
for these
people.
Well,
one,
that brings
God into
the picture.
Not just
what they
did against
me,
it's,
yeah,
my relationship
with them,
me,
them,
and God.
And that
changes things.
So,
praying for
them in a
positive way
is,
I think,
one of the
most helpful
things.
Long answer.
Did that?
Yeah.
Okay.
So,
by God's
grace,
even when
we've been
badly hurt
by someone,
we can get
to the point
where,
you know,
we're not
getting angry
with them
every time
we think
of them.
but that's
only,
I would say,
a first step
in restoring
the relationship.
I want to
tell you a
story.
I used to
live in
Stanford,
Connecticut,
and on
one occasion,
I,
I want to
hold off on
that for a
moment.
instead,
let's pick
up with
the story
of Joseph
and his
brothers.
Last week,
we looked
at Genesis
37,
and you'll
find this
on,
you're using
one of the
Pew Bibles,
not one of
the Pew
Bibles,
one of the
downstairs
Bibles,
which are
different than
the Pew
Bibles,
but they're
probably not
out here
today.
So,
if you have
a Bible,
I'd encourage
you to turn
to Genesis
37,
um,
hi Sam,
can I,
I'm looking
for a Bible.
Yeah.
Over there?
On the
bottom shelf.
That shelf
over there?
By the
way,
maybe some
of you
haven't been
able to
hear me,
but now
that we
have this
help,
and I'll
try and
stand here,
if you
still can't
hear me,
let me
know.
Any
comments
on sound?
Sound?
Yeah,
yeah,
and looking
at,
somebody who
knows about
this thing,
I just
hit it,
maybe I
turned it
off,
I was
trying to
locate it
in a place
where it
would pick
me up
from now
on.
So in
Genesis 37,
we read
how many
things
contributed
to Joseph's
brothers,
his ten
older brothers,
getting angry
with him,
and coming
to hate
him.
And then
saw how that
erupted in
violence,
they were,
they grabbed
him,
tore his
special clothing
off,
it was a
special robe
that was a
sign that
his father
loved him
more than
any of his
other brothers.
And she
proudly wore
around and
rubbed it in
their faces,
I believe,
and threw
him into a
pit,
either to
kill him
or to
let him
die,
but as
we read
at the
end of
chapter 37,
what they
ended up
doing was
selling
Joseph as
a slave,
a caravan
came by
bringing
various
goods,
it was
on its
way to
Egypt,
and
Judah,
one of
the brothers
said,
hey,
let's get
some money
out of
this,
and let's
sell him
as a
slave,
which they
did.
And off
Joseph has
taken Egypt.
And the
brothers are
thinking,
yes,
this thing
that has
made our
lives
miserable,
this person
who's
made our
lives
miserable,
is out
of the
picture
forever.
But,
they had
to convince
their father
that Joseph
was out
of the
picture
forever
and not
just
missing.
So,
I would
like it
if somebody
would
read
Genesis,
oh,
I can read
it,
I have
it here,
Genesis
37,
starting
with verse
31.
Then they
took
Joseph's
robe
and
slaughtered
a goat
and dipped
the robe
in the
blood.
And they
sent the
robe of
many colors
and brought
it to
their father
and said,
this we
have found,
please identify
whether it is
your son's
robe or
not.
And he
identified it
and said,
it is my
son's robe.
A fierce
animal has
devoured
him.
Joseph
is without
doubt torn
to pieces.
Then Jacob
tore his
garments and
put sackcloth
on his
loins and
mourned for
his son
many days.
Well,
it seemed
that Joseph
was out of
the picture,
even so he
was casting
a long
shadow in
the family.
But,
well,
he was out
of the
picture.
Now,
I believe
that the
story of
Joseph and
his brothers
is a
wonderful
biblical
story and
illustration
of restoring
a damaged
relationship.
But it
does not
give us
information
about every
step in
the process.
And one
of the
things we
don't see
directly
is the
brothers
getting over
their anger
towards
Joseph.
And
Joseph, I
bet, was
angry with
his brothers
after they
beat him
up and
sold him
as a
slave.
It doesn't
tell us
directly about
him getting
over that.
but the
Bible does
give us
a lot of,
I think,
indirect and
clear evidence
that Joseph
did that.
That he
eventually
followed
step one,
renouncing
anger,
and secondly,
came to the
point where he
really loved his
brothers again and
wanted a good
relationship with
them.
So, on
your handout,
you'll see
right down
around here
a number of
passages from
Genesis that
I present as
evidence that
Joseph trusted
and obeyed
God and
that God
blessed him.
And we're
going to read
just the first
one, which
is in
Genesis 39.
Again, with
the downstairs
Bible, I
think it's
page 33.
Genesis
chapter 39,
and I'll
read verses
1 through
10.
Now,
Joseph had
been brought
down to
Egypt, and
Potiphar, the
officer of
Pharaoh, the
captain of the
guard, an
Egyptian, had
bought him
from the
Ishmaelites,
who had
brought him
down there.
The Lord
was with
Joseph, and
he became
a successful
man, and
he was in
the house of
his Egyptian
master.
His master
saw that the
Lord was with
him, and
that the
Lord caused
all that he
did to
succeed in
his hands.
So, Joseph
found favor in
his sight, and
attended him,
and he
made him,
Potiphar made
Joseph, overseer
of his
house, and
put him in
charge of
all that he
had.
From the
time that he
made him
overseer in
his house, and
over all he
had, the
Lord blessed
the Egyptian's
house for
Joseph's sake.
The blessing
of the Lord
was on all
that he
had, in
the house, and
in the field.
So, he
left all that
he had in
Joseph's charge,
and because
of him, he
had no
concern about
anything but
the food he
ate.
Now, Joseph
was handsome
in form and
appearance, and
after a time, his
master's wife cast
her eyes on
Joseph and said,
Lie with me.
But, he
refused, and
said to his
master's wife,
Behold, because
of me, my
master has no
concern about
anything in the
house, and he
has put everything
that he has in
my charge.
He is not
greater in this
house than I
am, nor has
he kept back
anything from
me, except
you, because
you are his
wife.
How, then, can
I do this great
wickedness and
sin against
God?
And, as she
spoke to Joseph
day after day,
he would not
listen to her, to
lie beside her, or
to be with
her.
Joseph saw
what God was
doing in
blessing him, so
that probably
made it easy for
him to trust him
on some level,
trust God.
He obeyed God,
and God
blessed him.
And, as you
read those other
passages listed
there, you see
this over and
over again.
now, here's my
conclusion from
that indirect
evidence.
I do not
believe that
God would have
blessed Joseph in
this way if
Joseph had
been, you
know, seething
with anger
against his
brothers all
this year, all
those years.
others.
Now, I can't
prove that, but
let me ask you
to turn to
a psalm.
Psalm 37.
And, I'd
ask somebody to
read verses 4
through 9,
because...
I can read
verses.
You can.
Okay.
Are you there?
I am.
Great.
Psalm 37,
4 through 9.
Delight yourselves
in the Lord,
and he will
give you the
desires of your
heart.
Commit your
way to the
Lord.
Trust in him,
and he will
act.
He will bring
forth your
righteousness as
the light,
and your
justice as
the noonday.
be still
before the
Lord, and
wait patiently
for him.
Threat
not yourself
over the
one who
prospers in
his way,
over the
man who
carries out
evil devices.
Refrain
from anger,
and forsake
wrath.
Threat
not yourself,
it tends
only to
evil.
For the
evildoers
shall be
cut off,
but those
who wait
for the
Lord,
shall
inherit
the
land.
Thank
you.
No
problem.
Refrain
from anger,
or in
the language
I would
use,
renounce,
what did
I say?
No,
refrain
from anger
is what
it says,
or renounce
anger.
And I
think
actually,
not
renouncing
anger is
incompatible
with really
trusting the
Lord.
It's
another
command
repeated
several
times in
the Bible
is don't
seek
revenge.
Leave it
to the
Lord.
He will
take care
of it.
So,
I
conclude,
you know,
from what
we've looked
at,
that Joseph
came to
the place
where he
trusted God,
obeyed God,
God blessed
him,
and that
he did
what this
psalm tells
us to
do,
which is
don't fret
about what
the evil
things people
have done,
refrain from
anger,
and
trust me
to take
care of
it.
There,
I am
done with
step one,
renouncing
anger.
Questions at
this point,
or comments?
All right.
When I was
living in
Stanford,
one time
I had a
cookout with
some neighbors,
and I will
call the
neighbors,
one of the
neighbors,
Rich.
Now,
as we
talked,
you know,
it came out
that another
neighbor who
lived right
next to us
too,
George,
wasn't there.
And part of
the reason is
that Rich and
George had
not talked
to each
other for
years.
And this
is the
back story.
Rich had
had a
drainage
problem in
his yard,
he had
somebody come
in and
regrade the
yard,
and his
water problem
was over,
but unfortunately
now the
water was
causing
problems for
George.
And whereas
Rich and
George had,
you know,
a good
neighborly
relationship
in the
past,
sometime
after that,
they were
both out
in their
yards,
and Rich,
you know,
said hi to
George,
and George
just turned
around,
walked away.
And Rich
concluded,
well,
sorry for
George,
but if he
doesn't want
to talk to
me,
I can live
with that.
I'm not going
to talk to
him.
now I
didn't
detect any
anger on
Rich's
part,
but there
was no
love there
either.
Rich was
content,
you know,
he hadn't
been hurt
badly,
except snubbed
a little bit,
but he was
okay with
that.
He wasn't
angry,
but wasn't
going to
take any
steps of
love.
To use
Kirsten's
example before,
you know,
somebody
treats me
badly,
I'll let
them take
the first
step.
You know,
I'm not
going to
let the
anger
simmer
inside me
and tear
me apart.
No,
I'm over
that,
but they
want to
deal with
the problem,
it's in
balls in
their court,
I'll live
without them.
Now,
that's
not great
in a
neighborhood.
But,
when you
have that
kind of
a situation
in a
family or
in a
church,
it's
deadly.
The
relationship's
been damaged,
it's not
growing.
As this
goes on,
the relationship
is dying.
is
good.
And,
as we
talked about
last week,
the goal
that God
has for us
in our
relationships
with others
is not
just that
they don't
have
hostility,
but that
the relationship
be good
and loving
and growing
and a
place where
God's
grace
is demonstrated
to the people
in the
relationship
and to the
world as a
whole.
So,
the next
step,
I suggest,
or a
next step
in restoring
a damaged
relationship
is to
respond
in love.
passage.
So,
once again,
I'm going
to need
people to
read
some
passages.
And,
would
somebody
be willing
to turn
to
Matthew
5,
verse
43?
And,
I'll ask
you a little
bit later
to read
that.
But,
could somebody
be ready
to do
that for
me?
Raise
your hand
if you'll
thank you.
And,
the second
passage,
1 John
3.16.
Not John
3.16,
but 1 John
3.16.
Would somebody
be willing
to read
that for us
in a little
bit?
Thank you,
Sam.
Sam E.
Thank you.
And,
the third
passage is
Luke
6.32.
2.
Would
somebody
be ready
and thank
you,
John?
Okay.
So,
as some
of you
are juggling
your Bibles
there,
I want
to draw
your attention
to this
section
of the
handout.
Responding
in love.
And,
I'd like
you to
look at
those three
aspects.
I affirm
that you
are loved
by God
and worthy
of my
love,
too.
I choose
to act
lovingly
towards you
and I
feel affection,
concern,
appreciation
for you.
Now,
normally,
in relationships
with other
people,
what order
do you
think
those three
aspects
of love
usually
come in?
For
example,
imagine
a one-year-old
child.
They're
growing
to love.
their
mother.
Do you
think the
first step
in their
growing to
love them
is,
mom,
I affirm
that you
are loved
by God
and I
want what
is best
for you.
I think
generally,
in our
experience,
the reverse
order is
what happens.
Somebody
acts lovingly
towards us.
We feel
affection for
them and
if that
happens often
enough,
it grows
into love
for them.
And then,
hopefully,
we not only
feel love
for them,
but we
start acting
lovingly
towards them
as well.
And then,
once we get
theologically
sophisticated,
we may
come to
say,
yes,
love
and just
as God
loves me,
he loves
them.
And I
should love
the people
I already
love and
as I have
opportunity,
love others.
But,
when you've
been in a
relationship
and it's
been damaged,
this,
I think,
is the
typical order
by which we
start to
respond in
love once
again.
Once we've
at least
started the
process of
renouncing
anger,
God may
bring to
mind,
you know,
I love
you and
I love
them too.
And you
should act
lovingly
towards them.
I don't
know if
Kirsten's
still here,
but I'm
so glad she
said that,
you know.
at the
beginning.
And so,
we might
hear God
saying,
and I
want you
to take
this step.
But,
that's the
second thing,
acting in
love.
First thing
is,
you know,
God speaking
to us and
saying,
I love
them,
I want
the best
for them.
Will you
join me
in that?
Would
somebody
please read
the Matthew
passage?
Matthew
5,
43,
through
48.
You have
heard that
it was
said,
you shall
love your
neighbor and
hate your
enemy.
But I
say to you,
love your
enemies and
pray for those
who persecute
you,
so that you
may be sons
of your
father who
is in
heaven.
For he
makes his
son rise
on the evil
and on the
good,
and sends
rain on the
just and on
the unjust.
For if you
love those who
love you,
what reward
do you have?
Do not even
the tax collectors
do the same?
And if you
greet only your
brothers,
what more are
you doing than
others?
Do not even
the Gentiles do
the same?
You therefore
must be perfect
as your heavenly
father is
perfect.
Thank you.
So,
as children
of God,
God calls us
to love
others,
even those
who treat us
badly,
just as
God so
loved the
world that he
sent Jesus
to die
for the
world while
we were
still his
enemies.
And,
let's say
you get to
the point,
okay,
yes,
Lord,
I want what's
best for them.
I want to
have a good
relationship with
them again,
but I don't
feel like
doing it,
doing anything.
I don't feel
maybe he's,
God's led you
to do something,
take another
step.
I don't feel
like doing
that.
Thank you,
those who
are going
to read
the other
passages.
I'll leave
you if
you generally
want to
read those
later.
But,
I want to
finish with
this
illustration.
Some of
you have
heard the
name
Corrie
Ten Boom.
She was
a Christian
woman who
helped a
number of
Jews escape
from the
Nazis during
World War
II.
But,
eventually,
they discovered
her and
her family
doing this
and she,
her father,
and her
sister were
taken off to
a concentration
camp themselves.
Her father and
sister died there,
but she
survived.
And,
there's a book
written about her
experience by her,
The Hiding
Place,
and there was a
movie some
years ago made
about,
based on the
book.
Really good
movie.
story.
But,
after she
wrote the
book,
she became
a speaker
and she
went around
the churches
and other
places telling
about her
experience and
preaching the
gospel.
On one
occasion,
she came
face to
face with
one of the
cruelest guards
in the
concentration
camp who
had abused
her and
her sister
terribly.
And,
he came
up to
her and
held out
his hand
and said,
will you
forgive me?
And,
this is what
she wrote.
I stood
there with
coldness
clutching at
my heart,
but I knew
that the
will can
function
regardless of
the temperature
of the
heart.
I prayed,
Jesus,
help me.
Woodenly,
mechanically,
I thrust
my hand
into the
one stretched
out to
me and
I experienced
an incredible
thing.
The current
started in
my shoulder,
ran down
my arm,
and sprang
into our
clutched
hands.
Then,
this warm
reconciliation
seemed to
flood my
whole being,
bringing tears
to my
eyes.
I forgive
you,
brother,
I cried
with my
whole heart.
For a
long moment,
we grasped
each other's
hands,
the former
guard,
the former
prisoner.
I have
never known
the love
of God
so intensely
as I did
at that
moment.
Point being,
in a
situation like
a damaged
relationship,
it is
usually
that
by God's
grace we
act lovingly
first,
and then
the feelings
follow.
So don't
wait
to feel
loving in a
situation like
that.
heavenly
father,
help us
to apply
your
word,
guided by
your
spirit,
that we
may live
this week
as your
sons and
daughters,
in love
and in
peace.
Amen.
We are
dismissed.