WEBVTT

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 If you keep your Bibles open to Ephesians chapter 6 in particular,

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 that's where we'll be spending most of our time.

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 If you're visiting today, then you've joined us in the midst of a series

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 on gospel-shaped family.

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 We've looked at relationships and how we're called to actually live

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 with a gospel shape to our relationships in general.

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 Then we've gone and looked at fathers, or sorry, not fathers, husbands,

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 and then wives, and now children,

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 and that relationship between children and parents.

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 I want to say that it's an interesting thing to talk about relationships in this way

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 because when you split them up, I think in part,

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 one of the things that we want to do is we kind of want to think about

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 the commands that actually benefit us.

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 I don't know if you find this, but husbands, I found,

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 were particularly attentive to the talk about wives,

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 and wives about husbands.

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 Surprise, surprise.

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 Now, children, I'm sure, are very keen to hear what parents should be doing,

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 and parents are very keen that their kids today, of all days,

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 will not be colouring in or doing anything else

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 but listening completely to what we're saying.

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 Hey, Chelsea, yeah?

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 Watching you.

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 Yeah.

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 Man, it's the way we are, isn't it?

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 We do kind of focus on things in that way.

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 We look for the benefit in ourselves.

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 Friends, I want to share with you a story,

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 and hopefully it helps us start to open up what we should be doing.

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 You see, all of these commands benefit all of us,

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 and they're all commands that we should all be embracing for the goodness of them

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 because they're God's commands to us.

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 Do you remember when I was a child and thinking through my relationship with my father?

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 I remember as a child, I may have told some of you guys this story before,

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 but I had an older brother who was really, really good at cricket,

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 and he was so good at cricket that I couldn't lift.

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 I was quite small for my age, so I couldn't wield his bat.

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 I couldn't move it quick enough for the way he would bowl,

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 so I'd have to use a skinny little bat that made me even more at a disadvantage.

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 We'd play backyard cricket, and he'd bowl these balls,

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 and I could barely see them.

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 They were like a blur to me as a little kid.

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 And as I'd play cricket, I'd just be not wanting to be hit by the ball,

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 hoping that at some point the ball actually hit the bat,

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 and that I would last at least an over or so.

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 I couldn't get out first ball.

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 That was my one saving thing.

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 We had a rule.

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 You can't get out first ball.

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 But there was one time of the day when I actually enjoyed those cricket games,

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 and that was when my father got home.

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 You see, my father knew that there was an imbalance.

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 He could see what was going on.

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 And so what he would do is he'd actually come along.

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 He'd play with us for a little while,

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 and when it was my turn to bat, he'd come and help me.

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 And what he would do is, me as a little titchy little kid,

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 he'd lean over me and place his hands over my hands on the cricket bat.

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 And then, suddenly, what I had was the capacity of an adult

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 to actually engage in the game.

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 My father would anticipate my brother's bowling

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 and respond to it quicker than I could,

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 and with way more power than I could.

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 Sometimes, as he would see the ball coming,

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 he would just swing the bat so quickly and so hard

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 that he would lift me off my feet.

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 And as he pounded the ground,

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 as you do when you're waiting for the ball to come,

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 I could feel the vibration through my feet.

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 So much strength involved.

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 Now, friends, when that was happening,

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 when my father was leaning over me,

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 holding my hands and helping me to bat,

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 when I was scoring all of those runs,

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 who was it?

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 Who was it that was scoring those runs?

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 Who was it that was successfully batting?

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 Was it God?

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 Thinking in terms of our lives,

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 was it my father?

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 Or was it me?

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 I want to tell you, yes.

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 And when we apply this to God,

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 and when we think about our relationship with our parents,

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 I want you to think the same thing.

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 That as we approach this issue of parenting,

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 and as we think about who we are as God's precious children,

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 what we're seeing here is a picture of that dynamic unfolding

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 in our lives, in our relationships.

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 Father to childs.

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 Lending the strength.

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 Lending the strength.

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 Providing what we lack as children.

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 And enabling us to perform and to act in a way

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 that we never could on our own.

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 So with that in mind, with that image in mind,

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 let's actually sort of immerse ourselves in the passage here

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 and actually see how that unfolds.

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 See, Paul opens with a command to children.

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 He says,

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 Children, obey your parents.

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 Children, that is your immediate offspring.

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 It's not age or gender specific, this particular word.

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 And the implication in verse 4, at least,

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 is that they're still being shaped by the instruction of their parents.

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 Some of your parents will be saying,

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 well, when does that end?

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 John, you know.

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 You're still having to guide your children, don't you?

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 Yeah.

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 You're nodding.

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 They're nodding, by the way.

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 Yeah.

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 Good stuff.

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 Yeah.

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 Children, obey your parents.

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 Obey.

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 And this word obey means to pay attention to

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 with the intent of following their instruction.

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 It means to so value what your parents say.

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 To so value it that you seek their opinion.

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 You even ask for it.

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 And that when you do, you treat it as vital information.

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 And even as he speaks about this obeying your parents,

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 Paul kind of explodes out into the concept of,

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 or into the command of honouring your parents.

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 You see, Paul sees this concept of obedience

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 as just one application of the larger concept

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 of honouring our parents.

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 Where honour means to respect,

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 to hold in high regard.

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 In the original Hebrew,

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 this word had the sense of weight,

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 heaviness.

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 No fat jokes about your parents, kids.

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 Right?

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 But it's weight in the sense of worth.

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 This command to obey our parents

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 is a command to our hearts

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 to see them as worthy of our honour.

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 Our parents are to be precious to us.

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 Their words are to carry weight in our youth,

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 but to listen to them.

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 In their old age,

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 where to care for them.

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 Maybe some of you are thinking,

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 do you, does he know

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 how much my parents lecture me already?

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 And he's telling me to ask them to do it?

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 Friends, I'm saying a lot more than that.

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 I'm saying, ask your parents.

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 I'm saying, listen to their every word.

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 And I'm saying, love it.

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 Treat it like it's the best thing you've heard all day.

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 As they begin to speak to you,

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 be thinking, you know,

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 I was going to play some Xbox,

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 but this is way better.

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 Or, oh, look, on your phone,

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 you get your phone,

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 oh, look, my best friend,

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 my BFF has just messaged me.

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 Well, they can wait,

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 because this is way too important.

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 This is what's going on here.

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 This is what Paul is trying to say

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 to the children of the church in Ephesus.

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 Now, honouring your parents,

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 which involves obeying them,

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 is an important command.

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 It's so important that Paul makes this,

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 lets us know how important it is in two ways.

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 First, he says it's an act of worship.

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 And then he points out

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 how central it is to God's design.

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 So firstly, in verse 1, Paul says this,

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 Obey your parents in the Lord.

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 In the Lord, for this is right.

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 In the Lord?

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 Well, the act of obeying your parents,

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 this tells us,

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 is primarily an act of obedience to God.

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 It's an act of righteousness.

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 It's primarily an act of worship.

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 It gives the glory to God.

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 Obeying parents is right,

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 not because of first century social norms

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 or the desires of your parents

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 sitting next to you,

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 but because of our relationship

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 to God through Christ.

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 This command is a theological issue.

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 Now, some of you will be thinking,

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 does this mean we have to do everything they say?

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 No.

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 But be careful here

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 that you're not just looking for an excuse to rebel.

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 Take what your parents say.

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 Weigh it up.

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 See the value in it.

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 Apply their wisdom to your life.

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 And as you get older,

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 you'll become more independent in this process.

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 You'll learn to take the wisdom of their advice

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 and use it or set it aside,

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 given the circumstances.

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 But even when you set it aside,

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 see that you do it in a way that honours them,

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 that lifts them up

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 and shows how much you value them.

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 Friends, hearts tuned to worshipping God

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 will seek to obey their parents.

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 So first, it's an act of worship.

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 The second, it's central to God's design.

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 As I've already said,

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 Paul ties his command to obey

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 to the Ten Commandments.

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 And he does that in verse 2.

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 And he says this,

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 honour your father and mother,

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 which is the first command with a promise,

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 so that it may go well with you

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 and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

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 Now, the Ten Commandments were important

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 in Israel's history.

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 They represented the commands

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 that Israel was to live by

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 as they entered into the Promised Lands.

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 Commands that the rest of the world would see.

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 And as they saw them,

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 they would know that the God of this people

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 was a good God.

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 But it was more than that.

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 It was commands that taught God's people

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 what they had forgotten,

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 which was how to be truly human

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 as God had originally designed us to be.

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 So the fact that

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 if this is what the Ten Commandments do

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 and that this command is actually in the top ten,

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 that's a big deal.

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 And then within these Ten Commandments,

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 it's the first horizontal commandments.

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 The first four are vertical,

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 and you can look them up in Exodus 20.

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 The first four relate to how we relate to God.

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 And then this command to honour your parents.

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 The first command that guides us

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 to understanding what it means

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 to be truly human,

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 and it relates to children and parents.

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 Why is this important?

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 Well,

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 first because it restores the family unit

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 to what it was intended to be.

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 And then,

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 as it restores the family,

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 the family begins to show us something of God again.

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 To reveal God's relationship to his beloved children.

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 To reveal God's glory.

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 There's no stronger image than family in the Bible

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 in terms of relationship between God and his people.

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 And so as family is restored,

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 so is our understanding of who God is.

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 That's why this command has a promise attached to us.

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 Friends, our parents are to be precious to us.

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 They're words that carry weight.

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 In our youth, we are to listen to them.

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 And in their old age,

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 we're to care for them.

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 Friends, Paul doesn't finish there.

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 He goes on to address the way parents care for their children.

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 And if children are to obey their parents,

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 parents are to actually say something worth obeying.

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 They're to lead their children in the Lord.

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 In verse 4, Paul explains it.

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 He says this,

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 I've said it out on their PowerPoint, if you can see it.

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 It's a not-but argument.

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 Not provoking to anger on the one hand,

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 but training in the Lord on the other.

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 As we go into this verse,

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 and it begins with fathers,

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 and the word there is fathers in Greek,

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 but it's likely to mean parents.

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 In verses 1 to 3, we've already seen,

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 actually refer to parents.

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 The commands and the words are actually all related to parents.

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 The fifth commandment refers to parents.

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 And in Greek, fathers can actually be used as a collective for parents.

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 So it makes sense to take the word this way.

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 So parents, don't provoke to anger.

00:13:38.379 --> 00:13:39.800
 We're provoking to anger,

00:13:40.340 --> 00:13:42.360
 or some of your passages,

00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:44.840
 versions might have a different word.

00:13:45.660 --> 00:13:46.640
 Is there a different word in yours?

00:13:47.260 --> 00:13:47.879
 Anyone got the N-A-V?

00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:48.140
 Yep.

00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:50.100
 Exasperate.

00:13:50.160 --> 00:13:50.560
 There we go.

00:13:50.640 --> 00:13:51.060
 Thanks, Harry.

00:13:51.820 --> 00:13:52.340
 Exasperate.

00:13:53.540 --> 00:13:53.940
 Yeah.

00:13:53.940 --> 00:13:54.500
 Anger.

00:13:55.220 --> 00:13:55.660
 Enrage.

00:13:56.560 --> 00:13:57.420
 Is what it means.

00:13:58.500 --> 00:14:00.180
 Now, anger's not always bad,

00:14:00.400 --> 00:14:02.760
 but this idea of provoking someone to anger,

00:14:03.060 --> 00:14:04.020
 that is bad.

00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:06.360
 In chapter 4, verse 26,

00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:07.400
 Paul acknowledges anger,

00:14:08.060 --> 00:14:11.400
 but promotes control and the speedy resolution of it.

00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:13.200
 He says, don't let the sun go down on your anger.

00:14:14.940 --> 00:14:16.720
 And in chapter 4, verse 31,

00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:19.520
 Paul condemns unresolved anger.

00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:22.660
 He says,

00:14:22.659 --> 00:14:25.339
 get rid of all bitterness,

00:14:25.899 --> 00:14:26.779
 rage and anger,

00:14:26.939 --> 00:14:27.919
 brawling and slander,

00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:29.839
 along with every form of malice,

00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.100
 where bitterness is anger that's left to ferment.

00:14:33.899 --> 00:14:35.459
 Rage is anger out of control.

00:14:35.899 --> 00:14:38.139
 Brawling and slander are anger that seeks to harm.

00:14:39.659 --> 00:14:41.319
 And malice is a heart.

00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:43.519
 It's set on harming another.

00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:46.299
 Parents,

00:14:47.159 --> 00:14:48.399
 provoking your children to anger

00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:49.360
 is winding them up

00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:51.839
 and setting them in the direction of harming others.

00:14:52.659 --> 00:14:55.500
 This kind of anger breaks down relationships,

00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:57.279
 community.

00:14:57.279 --> 00:15:01.959
 So,

00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:02.879
 in this,

00:15:03.139 --> 00:15:04.779
 in those verses,

00:15:05.779 --> 00:15:07.799
 so in chapter 4, verse 31,

00:15:08.659 --> 00:15:09.600
 this kind of anger,

00:15:09.699 --> 00:15:10.919
 this kind of uncontrolled anger,

00:15:11.339 --> 00:15:12.799
 is placed in contrast,

00:15:13.019 --> 00:15:13.779
 on the other hand,

00:15:13.839 --> 00:15:14.480
 to grace

00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:15.839
 and kindness.

00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:18.839
 In our passage,

00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:20.720
 it's contrasted

00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:21.939
 with discipline

00:15:21.939 --> 00:15:23.480
 and instruction.

00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:26.820
 Now,

00:15:26.940 --> 00:15:27.820
 there's an important point

00:15:27.820 --> 00:15:28.659
 to be made here.

00:15:30.500 --> 00:15:32.460
 To borrow a phrase

00:15:32.460 --> 00:15:33.940
 that I learned from Andrew,

00:15:34.180 --> 00:15:35.159
 Andrew Wilco,

00:15:35.399 --> 00:15:36.259
 this week.

00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:37.820
 Parents,

00:15:38.539 --> 00:15:39.740
 you have your hand

00:15:39.740 --> 00:15:40.639
 on the thermostat.

00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:43.759
 You control the temperature.

00:15:45.080 --> 00:15:45.360
 Parents,

00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:46.600
 you have the authority,

00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:48.379
 but how are you using it?

00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:50.899
 You have the mature brain.

00:15:52.179 --> 00:15:53.379
 You have the maturity,

00:15:53.539 --> 00:15:54.080
 the stability,

00:15:54.259 --> 00:15:54.860
 the capacity

00:15:54.860 --> 00:15:56.039
 to control yourself.

00:15:57.200 --> 00:15:57.960
 You are there

00:15:57.960 --> 00:15:59.179
 to provide this stability

00:15:59.179 --> 00:16:00.159
 for your children

00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:00.860
 as they grow.

00:16:01.379 --> 00:16:02.399
 Children can be rebellious

00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:03.700
 beyond reason at times.

00:16:04.700 --> 00:16:05.240
 They're going through

00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:05.899
 a lot of changes

00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:06.639
 as they mature.

00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:07.519
 It's not easy

00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:08.639
 to exist in their bodies.

00:16:08.740 --> 00:16:09.120
 Their brains

00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:10.019
 don't reach maturity

00:16:10.019 --> 00:16:11.220
 until the age of 25.

00:16:12.299 --> 00:16:13.200
 Did you know that?

00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:15.800
 Their bodies

00:16:15.800 --> 00:16:17.060
 are coursing with hormones

00:16:17.060 --> 00:16:18.420
 that aren't familiar

00:16:18.420 --> 00:16:18.940
 to them.

00:16:19.660 --> 00:16:20.840
 Desires and impulses

00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:21.580
 that they haven't yet

00:16:21.580 --> 00:16:22.560
 learned to control.

00:16:23.660 --> 00:16:24.220
 I'm sure,

00:16:25.280 --> 00:16:25.780
 well,

00:16:26.100 --> 00:16:27.280
 I remember the experience.

00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:28.340
 I'm sure you do too.

00:16:30.620 --> 00:16:31.120
 And yet parents

00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:31.720
 so often say,

00:16:31.820 --> 00:16:31.960
 look,

00:16:32.140 --> 00:16:33.220
 we're doing the best

00:16:33.220 --> 00:16:33.600
 we can,

00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:35.000
 but it's my child

00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:35.740
 that's the problem.

00:16:36.620 --> 00:16:37.180
 He or she

00:16:37.180 --> 00:16:38.040
 is so immature.

00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:41.000
 Parents,

00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:43.120
 that's exactly

00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.240
 why we are there.

00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:47.759
 So,

00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:50.139
 given that truth,

00:16:51.340 --> 00:16:52.159
 what is your

00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:53.200
 disposition?

00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.279
 What is your attitude?

00:16:57.759 --> 00:16:58.659
 What is your action

00:16:58.659 --> 00:17:00.240
 when they lose control?

00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:02.220
 Do you seek

00:17:02.220 --> 00:17:02.779
 to guide them

00:17:02.779 --> 00:17:03.240
 through it?

00:17:04.660 --> 00:17:05.599
 That's our job.

00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:07.380
 Not engaging with them

00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:08.880
 in fights and battles,

00:17:09.819 --> 00:17:10.359
 guiding them

00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:10.859
 through it.

00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:14.160
 not provoking

00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:14.680
 to anger,

00:17:16.059 --> 00:17:17.420
 but promoting

00:17:17.420 --> 00:17:18.319
 the instruction

00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:18.960
 of the Lord.

00:17:19.720 --> 00:17:20.019
 Remember,

00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:20.819
 this is a not,

00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:22.099
 but argument.

00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:23.759
 Again,

00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:24.299
 I'll remind you,

00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:24.980
 he says it like this,

00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:26.259
 fathers do not

00:17:26.259 --> 00:17:27.079
 provoke your children

00:17:27.079 --> 00:17:27.559
 to anger,

00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:29.480
 but bring them up

00:17:29.480 --> 00:17:30.240
 in the discipline

00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:30.839
 of the Lord,

00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:32.279
 instruction of the Lord.

00:17:33.339 --> 00:17:34.440
 Not provoking

00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:34.920
 to anger,

00:17:35.779 --> 00:17:37.279
 but promoting

00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:37.920
 godliness.

00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:40.079
 Bring them up,

00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:41.399
 raised to maturity.

00:17:42.599 --> 00:17:43.419
 It includes

00:17:43.419 --> 00:17:44.059
 providing all

00:17:44.059 --> 00:17:44.599
 the nourishment

00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:45.059
 and care

00:17:45.059 --> 00:17:45.939
 a person needs

00:17:45.939 --> 00:17:46.419
 to grow.

00:17:47.399 --> 00:17:47.919
 It's a word

00:17:47.919 --> 00:17:48.879
 with a warm,

00:17:49.079 --> 00:17:49.839
 nurturing tone

00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:50.259
 to it.

00:17:52.099 --> 00:17:53.000
 But remember this,

00:17:53.539 --> 00:17:54.500
 it's in the discipline

00:17:54.500 --> 00:17:55.240
 and instruction

00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:55.919
 of the Lord.

00:17:55.919 --> 00:17:57.099
 Not into your hopes

00:17:57.099 --> 00:17:57.539
 and dreams

00:17:57.539 --> 00:17:58.199
 for your child,

00:17:58.299 --> 00:17:59.139
 but God's.

00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:01.220
 Do I need

00:18:01.220 --> 00:18:01.940
 to say this?

00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:03.860
 If it's not

00:18:03.860 --> 00:18:04.440
 in the Bible,

00:18:05.360 --> 00:18:06.079
 it's not

00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:06.960
 as important

00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:07.799
 as you think

00:18:07.799 --> 00:18:08.259
 it is.

00:18:11.339 --> 00:18:12.100
 You know,

00:18:12.220 --> 00:18:12.920
 we have a tendency

00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:13.440
 to impose

00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:13.920
 our values

00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:14.600
 and expectations

00:18:14.600 --> 00:18:15.299
 on our children.

00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:16.360
 We want them

00:18:16.360 --> 00:18:16.839
 to achieve

00:18:16.839 --> 00:18:17.299
 at school.

00:18:17.559 --> 00:18:18.039
 We'll introduce

00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:18.880
 them to our sports,

00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:19.559
 our hobbies,

00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:20.799
 our interests.

00:18:21.360 --> 00:18:22.120
 We want our kids

00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:22.819
 to be attractive,

00:18:23.059 --> 00:18:23.559
 successful,

00:18:23.799 --> 00:18:24.220
 admired.

00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:28.519
 We want our children

00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:30.400
 to bring us

00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:31.180
 a reputation.

00:18:33.700 --> 00:18:34.480
 But as much

00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:35.299
 as you value

00:18:35.299 --> 00:18:38.380
 these things

00:18:38.380 --> 00:18:40.240
 and as much

00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:40.720
 as you seek

00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:41.559
 to promote them,

00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:43.860
 if it's not

00:18:43.860 --> 00:18:44.519
 about godliness,

00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:46.019
 if it's not

00:18:46.019 --> 00:18:46.680
 about the discipline

00:18:46.680 --> 00:18:47.240
 and instruction

00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:47.900
 of the Lord,

00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:48.980
 then it doesn't

00:18:48.980 --> 00:18:49.839
 make God's list

00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:50.640
 of importance.

00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:52.680
 Frankly,

00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:53.400
 it just isn't

00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:54.160
 that important.

00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:54.720
 in raising

00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:55.100
 a child

00:18:55.100 --> 00:18:55.660
 to maturity.

00:18:57.220 --> 00:18:58.059
 What is important?

00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:00.019
 The discipline

00:19:00.019 --> 00:19:01.059
 and instruction

00:19:01.059 --> 00:19:02.100
 of the Lord.

00:19:04.019 --> 00:19:04.579
 Discipline,

00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:05.660
 to train

00:19:05.660 --> 00:19:06.100
 in the proper

00:19:06.100 --> 00:19:07.079
 rules of behaviour.

00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:08.799
 Instruction,

00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:10.000
 to impart

00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:10.860
 understanding,

00:19:11.100 --> 00:19:11.400
 wisdom,

00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:12.279
 knowledge.

00:19:15.180 --> 00:19:15.740
 In terms

00:19:15.740 --> 00:19:16.220
 of explaining

00:19:16.220 --> 00:19:16.420
 these,

00:19:16.539 --> 00:19:16.740
 think,

00:19:17.019 --> 00:19:17.460
 for example,

00:19:17.559 --> 00:19:18.200
 think boundaries.

00:19:19.660 --> 00:19:20.279
 You know

00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:21.000
 how your child

00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:22.299
 struggles to know

00:19:22.299 --> 00:19:23.259
 what is right.

00:19:24.220 --> 00:19:25.660
 So teach them.

00:19:26.740 --> 00:19:27.500
 Explain what's

00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:28.100
 appropriate,

00:19:28.220 --> 00:19:28.940
 what's inappropriate.

00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:30.200
 Help them

00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:31.079
 to understand.

00:19:32.579 --> 00:19:33.539
 Think boundaries.

00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:36.180
 Think self-discipline.

00:19:36.660 --> 00:19:37.019
 You know

00:19:37.019 --> 00:19:37.500
 your child,

00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:38.180
 well,

00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:38.640
 they struggle

00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:39.380
 with their emotions.

00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:40.500
 You've seen that.

00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:41.680
 You see what happens

00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:42.600
 when they fall over

00:19:42.600 --> 00:19:44.019
 and the wellspring

00:19:44.019 --> 00:19:44.579
 of emotions

00:19:44.579 --> 00:19:45.460
 that bursts out.

00:19:45.460 --> 00:19:47.180
 you probably

00:19:47.180 --> 00:19:48.019
 have already

00:19:48.019 --> 00:19:48.440
 noticed

00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:49.700
 that your reaction

00:19:49.700 --> 00:19:50.019
 to them

00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:50.680
 in that time

00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:52.140
 either feeds

00:19:52.140 --> 00:19:52.779
 that or

00:19:52.779 --> 00:19:53.799
 calms it down.

00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:56.259
 So teach

00:19:56.259 --> 00:19:57.000
 your children

00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:57.840
 to express

00:19:57.840 --> 00:19:59.059
 emotions appropriately.

00:19:59.620 --> 00:20:00.259
 Explain what

00:20:00.259 --> 00:20:00.819
 their emotions

00:20:00.819 --> 00:20:01.340
 are for.

00:20:01.740 --> 00:20:02.039
 Show them

00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:02.660
 how to express

00:20:02.660 --> 00:20:03.420
 emotion in a way

00:20:03.420 --> 00:20:03.920
 that reflects

00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:04.720
 God's character.

00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:06.680
 Model

00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:08.220
 how to control

00:20:08.220 --> 00:20:09.519
 impulses.

00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:12.799
 man,

00:20:12.879 --> 00:20:13.240
 how can we

00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:13.519
 do that

00:20:13.519 --> 00:20:13.940
 as parents

00:20:13.940 --> 00:20:14.339
 if we're

00:20:14.339 --> 00:20:14.960
 just so

00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:15.740
 ill-disciplined

00:20:15.740 --> 00:20:16.160
 ourselves

00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:16.539
 that we're

00:20:16.539 --> 00:20:17.660
 just responding

00:20:17.660 --> 00:20:18.160
 to every

00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:18.799
 impulse and

00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.240
 thought and

00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:19.799
 emotion that

00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:20.180
 comes into

00:20:20.180 --> 00:20:20.779
 our minds.

00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:22.660
 Think

00:20:22.660 --> 00:20:23.619
 self-discipline

00:20:23.619 --> 00:20:26.359
 and think

00:20:26.359 --> 00:20:26.940
 knowledge.

00:20:28.660 --> 00:20:28.819
 Parents,

00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:29.460
 your lives

00:20:29.460 --> 00:20:30.819
 are lived

00:20:30.819 --> 00:20:31.960
 with the benefit

00:20:31.960 --> 00:20:32.579
 of mature

00:20:32.579 --> 00:20:33.119
 brains.

00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:35.259
 So help

00:20:35.259 --> 00:20:35.699
 your children

00:20:35.699 --> 00:20:36.019
 where they

00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:36.339
 lack.

00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:37.959
 Share your

00:20:37.959 --> 00:20:38.379
 knowledge with

00:20:38.379 --> 00:20:38.579
 them.

00:20:40.339 --> 00:20:40.539
 Think

00:20:40.539 --> 00:20:41.000
 knowledge.

00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:42.479
 But above

00:20:42.479 --> 00:20:42.719
 all,

00:20:42.859 --> 00:20:43.599
 think gospel.

00:20:44.299 --> 00:20:44.799
 Above all

00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:45.559
 these things,

00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:46.859
 show them

00:20:46.859 --> 00:20:47.439
 the gospel.

00:20:49.099 --> 00:20:49.479
 Ground

00:20:49.479 --> 00:20:49.899
 them in

00:20:49.899 --> 00:20:50.439
 God's love

00:20:50.439 --> 00:20:50.959
 for them.

00:20:51.379 --> 00:20:52.059
 That love

00:20:52.059 --> 00:20:53.619
 far surpasses

00:20:53.619 --> 00:20:54.039
 your love

00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:54.319
 for your

00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:54.679
 children,

00:20:55.299 --> 00:20:55.679
 no matter

00:20:55.679 --> 00:20:56.179
 how much

00:20:56.179 --> 00:20:56.479
 you think

00:20:56.479 --> 00:20:56.739
 you love

00:20:56.739 --> 00:20:57.139
 your children.

00:20:58.500 --> 00:20:59.079
 So teach

00:20:59.079 --> 00:20:59.399
 them how

00:20:59.399 --> 00:20:59.899
 to apply

00:20:59.899 --> 00:21:00.699
 this gospel

00:21:00.699 --> 00:21:01.039
 to their

00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:01.519
 lives.

00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:03.019
 Loving,

00:21:03.319 --> 00:21:03.839
 forgiving,

00:21:04.439 --> 00:21:04.779
 seeking

00:21:04.779 --> 00:21:05.359
 forgiveness,

00:21:06.239 --> 00:21:06.919
 delighting

00:21:06.919 --> 00:21:07.239
 in their

00:21:07.239 --> 00:21:07.579
 Lord.

00:21:11.179 --> 00:21:11.879
 In all

00:21:11.879 --> 00:21:12.099
 of this,

00:21:12.219 --> 00:21:12.379
 parents,

00:21:12.500 --> 00:21:13.119
 it's a

00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:13.879
 time-consuming

00:21:13.879 --> 00:21:14.399
 and challenging

00:21:14.399 --> 00:21:15.019
 task.

00:21:16.059 --> 00:21:16.539
 Because we

00:21:16.539 --> 00:21:16.919
 actually need

00:21:16.919 --> 00:21:17.259
 to know

00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:17.679
 our children

00:21:17.679 --> 00:21:18.559
 so well

00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:19.779
 that we

00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:20.639
 know exactly

00:21:20.639 --> 00:21:21.399
 what to

00:21:21.399 --> 00:21:21.899
 speak into

00:21:21.899 --> 00:21:22.500
 their lives.

00:21:23.639 --> 00:21:24.619
 So well

00:21:24.619 --> 00:21:25.639
 that we

00:21:25.639 --> 00:21:26.799
 know when

00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:27.279
 a soft

00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:27.719
 word is

00:21:27.719 --> 00:21:28.019
 needed,

00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:29.479
 when a

00:21:29.479 --> 00:21:29.859
 boundary

00:21:29.859 --> 00:21:30.299
 needs to

00:21:30.299 --> 00:21:30.939
 be enforced.

00:21:30.940 --> 00:21:33.059
 when you

00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:33.400
 just need

00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:34.039
 to stop

00:21:34.039 --> 00:21:35.320
 and put

00:21:35.320 --> 00:21:35.660
 your arm

00:21:35.660 --> 00:21:36.180
 around them

00:21:36.180 --> 00:21:38.220
 and when

00:21:38.220 --> 00:21:38.420
 you need

00:21:38.420 --> 00:21:38.779
 to speak

00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:39.200
 words of

00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:39.720
 grace into

00:21:39.720 --> 00:21:40.320
 their lives,

00:21:41.320 --> 00:21:43.039
 always

00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:44.440
 modeled on

00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:45.039
 your heavenly

00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:45.660
 father's love

00:21:45.660 --> 00:21:46.039
 for you.

00:21:48.840 --> 00:21:49.460
 This kind

00:21:49.460 --> 00:21:50.059
 of relationship

00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:50.600
 with our

00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:51.180
 children takes

00:21:51.180 --> 00:21:51.600
 time to

00:21:51.600 --> 00:21:52.019
 develop.

00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:54.220
 But friends,

00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:54.759
 there's nothing

00:21:54.759 --> 00:21:56.100
 more important

00:21:56.099 --> 00:21:57.039
 that you

00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:57.319
 can be

00:21:57.319 --> 00:21:57.679
 doing with

00:21:57.679 --> 00:21:58.099
 your time.

00:21:59.919 --> 00:22:00.559
 You say

00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:01.039
 I'm time

00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:01.500
 poor,

00:22:02.019 --> 00:22:03.019
 work demands,

00:22:03.179 --> 00:22:03.599
 when I get

00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:04.099
 home I'm

00:22:04.099 --> 00:22:04.539
 tired.

00:22:06.539 --> 00:22:07.019
 Friends,

00:22:07.219 --> 00:22:08.419
 if that's a

00:22:08.419 --> 00:22:08.759
 problem,

00:22:08.899 --> 00:22:09.259
 parents,

00:22:09.419 --> 00:22:09.699
 fathers,

00:22:09.819 --> 00:22:10.219
 if that's a

00:22:10.219 --> 00:22:10.559
 problem,

00:22:11.159 --> 00:22:12.119
 change jobs.

00:22:13.459 --> 00:22:14.000
 Get a job

00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:14.439
 with less

00:22:14.439 --> 00:22:15.679
 time involvement.

00:22:16.059 --> 00:22:16.439
 Get a job

00:22:16.439 --> 00:22:17.039
 that leaves

00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:17.759
 you with

00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:18.459
 the reserves

00:22:18.459 --> 00:22:18.819
 that you

00:22:18.819 --> 00:22:19.679
 need to

00:22:19.679 --> 00:22:20.219
 bring your

00:22:20.219 --> 00:22:20.859
 A game

00:22:20.859 --> 00:22:21.240
 to your

00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:21.639
 family,

00:22:22.219 --> 00:22:23.279
 not what's

00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:23.879
 left at

00:22:23.879 --> 00:22:24.039
 the end

00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:24.299
 of each

00:22:24.299 --> 00:22:24.599
 day.

00:22:26.099 --> 00:22:27.699
 Parents,

00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:28.699
 raise your

00:22:28.699 --> 00:22:30.000
 children so

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.259
 that when

00:22:30.259 --> 00:22:30.879
 you introduce

00:22:30.879 --> 00:22:31.539
 your children

00:22:31.539 --> 00:22:31.919
 to their

00:22:31.919 --> 00:22:32.719
 heavenly father

00:22:32.719 --> 00:22:33.859
 it's perceived

00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:34.859
 as a good

00:22:34.859 --> 00:22:35.299
 thing.

00:22:36.839 --> 00:22:37.439
 Not,

00:22:37.619 --> 00:22:38.119
 oh no,

00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:39.039
 another parent,

00:22:39.419 --> 00:22:40.480
 but wow,

00:22:40.879 --> 00:22:41.659
 God's my

00:22:41.659 --> 00:22:42.339
 father too?

00:22:43.919 --> 00:22:44.639
 And you

00:22:44.639 --> 00:22:44.939
 say,

00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:46.439
 no,

00:22:47.099 --> 00:22:48.500
 no child,

00:22:49.500 --> 00:22:50.500
 he's your

00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:51.419
 true father.

00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:53.279
 He's the

00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:53.859
 one I've

00:22:53.859 --> 00:22:54.480
 been representing

00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:55.059
 all along.

00:22:55.059 --> 00:22:55.879
 he's the

00:22:55.879 --> 00:22:56.839
 one I've

00:22:56.839 --> 00:22:57.200
 wanted to

00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:57.899
 introduce you

00:22:57.899 --> 00:22:58.619
 to all

00:22:58.619 --> 00:22:59.200
 your life.

00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:04.859
 Children,

00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:05.779
 obey your

00:23:05.779 --> 00:23:06.259
 parents.

00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:08.659
 Parents,

00:23:09.379 --> 00:23:09.940
 lead your

00:23:09.940 --> 00:23:10.700
 children in

00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:11.059
 the Lord.

00:23:12.639 --> 00:23:13.319
 Let me

00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:13.539
 pray.

00:23:13.539 --> 00:23:13.619
 Amen.

00:23:20.619 --> 00:23:21.259
 Father God,

00:23:21.419 --> 00:23:22.799
 even as I

00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:23.220
 say these

00:23:23.220 --> 00:23:23.400
 words,

00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:23.759
 I know

00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:24.120
 there are

00:23:24.120 --> 00:23:24.559
 so many

00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:24.940
 ways that

00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:25.319
 I fail

00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:25.720
 at this.

00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:32.559
 I'm a

00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:32.980
 poor

00:23:32.980 --> 00:23:33.700
 reflection of

00:23:33.700 --> 00:23:33.880
 your

00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:34.279
 character.

00:23:36.140 --> 00:23:36.480
 And I

00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:36.779
 think as

00:23:36.779 --> 00:23:37.360
 parents here,

00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:38.079
 we know the

00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:38.519
 truth of that

00:23:38.519 --> 00:23:38.920
 ourselves.

00:23:39.420 --> 00:23:40.120
 As children

00:23:40.120 --> 00:23:40.620
 here, we know

00:23:40.620 --> 00:23:40.920
 that our

00:23:40.920 --> 00:23:41.500
 parents too

00:23:41.500 --> 00:23:41.920
 have failed

00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.720
 us in so

00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:44.180
 many different

00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:44.600
 ways.

00:23:45.880 --> 00:23:46.420
 Some of us

00:23:46.420 --> 00:23:46.839
 here, our

00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:47.259
 parents have

00:23:47.259 --> 00:23:47.740
 failed us so

00:23:47.740 --> 00:23:48.400
 badly that we

00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:50.220
 just cringe

00:23:50.220 --> 00:23:50.660
 from the

00:23:50.660 --> 00:23:51.940
 thought and

00:23:51.940 --> 00:23:53.140
 the analogy

00:23:53.140 --> 00:23:54.700
 of you being

00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:55.620
 like our

00:23:55.620 --> 00:23:56.140
 Father, our

00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:56.400
 Heavenly

00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:56.800
 Father.

00:23:59.300 --> 00:24:00.019
 But Lord, I

00:24:00.019 --> 00:24:01.840
 pray that

00:24:01.840 --> 00:24:02.440
 we as a

00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:03.160
 group of

00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:03.700
 people who

00:24:03.700 --> 00:24:04.040
 have come

00:24:04.040 --> 00:24:04.620
 to know and

00:24:04.620 --> 00:24:05.100
 love you as

00:24:05.100 --> 00:24:05.580
 our Lord and

00:24:05.580 --> 00:24:06.120
 Saviour would

00:24:06.120 --> 00:24:07.280
 see the

00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:07.980
 goodness of

00:24:07.980 --> 00:24:08.480
 this command.

00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:11.200
 Primarily

00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:11.640
 because we

00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:12.180
 see the

00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:13.019
 overwhelming

00:24:13.019 --> 00:24:13.720
 goodness of

00:24:13.720 --> 00:24:13.980
 you.

00:24:13.980 --> 00:24:15.799
 and that

00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:16.339
 as parents

00:24:16.339 --> 00:24:16.720
 we'd be

00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:17.400
 inspired

00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:20.240
 afresh to

00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:20.920
 reflect your

00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:21.400
 goodness in

00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:21.860
 the lives of

00:24:21.860 --> 00:24:22.420
 our families.

00:24:23.779 --> 00:24:24.360
 And as

00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:25.079
 children, Lord,

00:24:25.940 --> 00:24:26.839
 we'd be

00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:28.200
 inspired to

00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:28.700
 entrust

00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:29.319
 ourselves to

00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:30.420
 your care as

00:24:30.420 --> 00:24:30.960
 we seek to

00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:31.339
 honour our

00:24:31.339 --> 00:24:31.799
 parents.

00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:33.559
 We pray

00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:34.160
 these things in

00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:34.720
 Jesus' name.

00:24:35.819 --> 00:24:36.120
 Amen.