WEBVTT 00:00:00.300 --> 00:00:01.860 Good morning, my name's Tommy. 00:00:02.100 --> 00:00:04.020 I'm the rector of Church of the Advent. 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:05.820 I'm delighted to welcome you here. 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:08.519 Now that we have a bulletin once again, 00:00:08.620 --> 00:00:11.099 you'll see that the text that we'll be looking at 00:00:11.099 --> 00:00:12.700 is printed in full in the bulletin. 00:00:13.259 --> 00:00:15.080 And then after that, there's a section, 00:00:15.220 --> 00:00:17.039 for those of you, some people like to take notes, 00:00:17.500 --> 00:00:19.800 and we put a few reflection questions in 00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:22.300 in case that's helpful to you. 00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:27.740 We've been looking at this passage in Ephesians. 00:00:27.739 --> 00:00:30.000 We've been looking at Paul's letter to the Ephesians 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.140 and following along in this section 00:00:32.140 --> 00:00:35.000 where Paul talks about, in this letter, 00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:38.179 the fact that the gospel, the good news of Jesus, 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:41.179 changes every aspect of our lives. 00:00:41.799 --> 00:00:44.780 The good news of Jesus changes every aspect of our lives. 00:00:44.980 --> 00:00:46.980 And what we'll be focusing on this morning 00:00:46.980 --> 00:00:49.719 is the impact of that on our relationships 00:00:49.719 --> 00:00:51.959 with the closest people around us. 00:00:52.879 --> 00:00:55.659 The idea is this, if something this radical, 00:00:55.659 --> 00:00:58.319 this world changing has happened, 00:00:58.799 --> 00:01:01.239 and if that has happened to us, 00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:05.739 if we are now in relationship with the God of the universe, 00:01:06.039 --> 00:01:09.399 that that should spill out into all other relationships. 00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:12.239 And if it doesn't, we should be asking questions. 00:01:12.479 --> 00:01:14.120 So that's what we're gonna be looking at this morning. 00:01:14.219 --> 00:01:15.179 We're gonna see this text. 00:01:15.299 --> 00:01:16.159 It's a longer text. 00:01:16.259 --> 00:01:17.219 I'll tell you in a minute why. 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:18.599 We're looking at all of it. 00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:20.439 We're gonna see a principle here, 00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:21.879 and then we're gonna talk about 00:01:21.879 --> 00:01:23.699 what that principle means for us 00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:25.219 in our closest relationships. 00:01:25.659 --> 00:01:27.280 So let's pray, and then we'll be looking 00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:29.219 at Ephesians chapter 5, verse 15, 00:01:29.620 --> 00:01:32.060 through chapter 6, verse 9. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.040 Lord, our Heavenly Father, 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:38.140 we thank you for your presence with us this morning 00:01:38.140 --> 00:01:38.879 and your word. 00:01:39.320 --> 00:01:42.680 We pray for your Holy Spirit to guide us 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:44.260 as we seek to understand your word. 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:45.980 We know that we may be coming 00:01:45.980 --> 00:01:47.379 from very different places this morning. 00:01:48.359 --> 00:01:50.260 For some of us, a text like this 00:01:50.260 --> 00:01:53.500 might raise questions or even make us feel uncomfortable 00:01:53.500 --> 00:01:54.760 or be challenging to us. 00:01:55.120 --> 00:01:57.340 Lord, we know that you know what we need. 00:01:57.460 --> 00:01:59.859 And so there are some of us here who are complacent, 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:01.340 who need to be stirred to action. 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:05.900 There are some who are anxious and concerned, 00:02:06.140 --> 00:02:07.939 and we need to be reassured. 00:02:08.860 --> 00:02:12.460 There are some of us here who, Lord, need conviction. 00:02:12.900 --> 00:02:14.480 We need you to help illuminate areas 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:16.139 in our lives of rebellion. 00:02:17.079 --> 00:02:18.899 Lord, we all need you, 00:02:19.099 --> 00:02:21.419 and we all need your life in us, Lord. 00:02:21.519 --> 00:02:23.379 We all need the truth of the gospel. 00:02:23.899 --> 00:02:25.239 And so we pray that in whatever way 00:02:25.239 --> 00:02:26.439 that happens by your wisdom, 00:02:26.919 --> 00:02:28.339 that we would encounter you this morning. 00:02:28.579 --> 00:02:30.379 In Jesus' name we pray, amen. 00:02:31.839 --> 00:02:34.359 So first of all, let's look at the principle. 00:02:35.379 --> 00:02:37.299 This section of Ephesians, I would say, 00:02:37.359 --> 00:02:38.780 is very often misunderstood. 00:02:39.659 --> 00:02:41.219 And one of the reasons it's misunderstood 00:02:41.219 --> 00:02:44.060 is because of the way most of our Bibles are printed. 00:02:44.620 --> 00:02:46.840 When you open your Bible to this section, 00:02:46.939 --> 00:02:49.099 if you have your Bible with you, you can do that. 00:02:49.620 --> 00:02:53.159 Most Bibles break this section of Paul's letter 00:02:53.159 --> 00:02:54.300 into pieces. 00:02:55.020 --> 00:02:58.199 And so there is a section, verses 15 to 21, 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:01.020 that we see as a kind of a part 00:03:01.020 --> 00:03:02.460 sort of about the Holy Spirit 00:03:02.460 --> 00:03:05.159 and a list of things that Paul gives us 00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:07.860 that characterize the new life that we have in Christ. 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:10.060 And then there's a section break, 00:03:10.379 --> 00:03:11.599 and then there's a new section 00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:13.539 where Paul seems to switch topics 00:03:13.539 --> 00:03:15.659 and to start talking about relationships. 00:03:16.859 --> 00:03:19.039 But if you read this the way it's written, 00:03:19.159 --> 00:03:22.219 it is meant to all be held together. 00:03:22.959 --> 00:03:25.419 And if we read it that way, 00:03:25.539 --> 00:03:28.219 we see the whole flow of the argument 00:03:28.219 --> 00:03:30.180 that the Apostle Paul is making. 00:03:30.379 --> 00:03:32.620 And I would say that fundamentally changes 00:03:32.620 --> 00:03:34.299 not only how we read this text, 00:03:34.539 --> 00:03:37.159 but how we apply this passage to our lives. 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:42.240 Because this entire passage from verse 15 on 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:44.400 is all about the Holy Spirit. 00:03:45.419 --> 00:03:45.780 Right? 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:48.960 This is all about the ministry of the Holy Spirit 00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:52.479 and what that does in us and in our relationships. 00:03:52.740 --> 00:03:55.840 It's about being specifically filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:03:56.699 --> 00:03:58.060 Filled with the life of God. 00:03:58.300 --> 00:04:02.259 Now, all believers have the Holy Spirit. 00:04:03.079 --> 00:04:04.900 Paul has already made that clear earlier 00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:05.860 in this letter, in fact. 00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:08.280 But to be filled by the Spirit 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:10.920 means the Holy Spirit guides you. 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:14.560 The Holy Spirit directs every aspect of your life. 00:04:15.180 --> 00:04:18.160 It means you are deeply connected to God, 00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:20.259 and God is ministering through you 00:04:20.259 --> 00:04:22.439 in ways that are visible. 00:04:23.540 --> 00:04:25.240 So Paul is talking now 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:27.920 about believers being filled by the Holy Spirit. 00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:29.519 But that raises a question. 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:33.519 How exactly do we do that? 00:04:34.939 --> 00:04:36.259 Because the verb is passive. 00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:40.240 He doesn't say fill yourself with the Holy Spirit. 00:04:40.359 --> 00:04:43.639 He says be filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:04:43.740 --> 00:04:45.500 How do you do that? 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:46.919 It would be like saying to your kids, 00:04:47.299 --> 00:04:48.240 instead of saying, 00:04:48.439 --> 00:04:49.719 hey, go clean your room, 00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:51.719 let your room be cleaned. 00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:53.599 Right? 00:04:53.680 --> 00:04:54.740 Like in the first example, 00:04:54.799 --> 00:04:56.519 it's clear they need to go get at it. 00:04:56.579 --> 00:04:57.519 But in the second example, 00:04:57.519 --> 00:04:58.379 it's not so clear, 00:04:58.599 --> 00:04:59.680 do they have something to do, 00:04:59.740 --> 00:05:00.719 or should they just wait 00:05:00.719 --> 00:05:02.620 for the room to clean itself? 00:05:03.419 --> 00:05:04.560 Which is, I think, a mistake 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:07.019 that very often happens in our house. 00:05:07.339 --> 00:05:09.019 What's the role that we have 00:05:09.019 --> 00:05:11.799 in being filled by the Spirit? 00:05:13.060 --> 00:05:14.439 Is this something that we do 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:15.479 or something that God does? 00:05:15.539 --> 00:05:16.240 The answer is, 00:05:16.279 --> 00:05:17.959 as it is often in the Christian faith, 00:05:18.019 --> 00:05:18.899 the answer is yes. 00:05:20.159 --> 00:05:20.879 It's both. 00:05:22.159 --> 00:05:25.339 Think of the analogy of a sailboat. 00:05:25.339 --> 00:05:27.279 I heard this from a pastor 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:28.099 named Andrew Wilson. 00:05:28.199 --> 00:05:28.919 I find it helpful. 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:30.939 With a sailboat, 00:05:31.039 --> 00:05:33.459 the sail has to be filled with the wind 00:05:33.459 --> 00:05:34.979 in order to go anywhere. 00:05:36.039 --> 00:05:38.439 But the wind is an external force 00:05:38.439 --> 00:05:40.979 over which we have no control. 00:05:41.939 --> 00:05:44.500 So you can't fill the sail. 00:05:45.259 --> 00:05:45.379 Right? 00:05:45.539 --> 00:05:47.459 But there are things that you can do 00:05:47.459 --> 00:05:50.379 to make sure that when the wind blows, 00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:53.039 your sails will be filled. 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:56.180 So you can put up your sail. 00:05:56.420 --> 00:05:58.740 You can pull the mainsail tight. 00:05:58.900 --> 00:06:00.160 You can adjust the jib. 00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:01.439 These are things that you do 00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:05.000 to align the sails with the wind 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.020 as it's blowing 00:06:06.020 --> 00:06:08.220 to ensure that the sails 00:06:08.220 --> 00:06:10.180 will be filled by the wind. 00:06:10.660 --> 00:06:12.259 And I believe this is a lot like 00:06:12.259 --> 00:06:13.800 what the Apostle Paul has in mind 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:15.300 when he calls us to be filled 00:06:15.300 --> 00:06:16.560 by the Holy Spirit. 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:18.160 We can't control the Spirit. 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:21.540 But there are things we can do 00:06:21.540 --> 00:06:23.760 to bring ourselves in alignment 00:06:23.760 --> 00:06:25.720 with the Holy Spirit. 00:06:26.020 --> 00:06:28.060 And I would say this is really 00:06:28.060 --> 00:06:29.780 what the Christian life is all about. 00:06:29.880 --> 00:06:31.500 It's about regularly, 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:33.540 continually adjusting 00:06:33.540 --> 00:06:35.340 the sails of our hearts, 00:06:36.580 --> 00:06:38.700 bringing them into alignment 00:06:38.700 --> 00:06:41.100 with the heart and the will of Christ 00:06:41.100 --> 00:06:43.420 so that we can be filled 00:06:43.420 --> 00:06:44.920 and guided by His Spirit. 00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:45.360 Right? 00:06:46.360 --> 00:06:47.540 The promise is that the Spirit 00:06:47.540 --> 00:06:48.060 is with us, 00:06:48.140 --> 00:06:49.160 the Spirit is moving. 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:51.879 Are we aligning ourselves 00:06:51.879 --> 00:06:54.460 such that we can be filled 00:06:54.460 --> 00:06:55.180 by the Spirit 00:06:55.180 --> 00:06:56.759 and guided by the Spirit? 00:06:56.920 --> 00:06:57.860 How do we do this? 00:06:59.140 --> 00:07:00.939 Paul gives us several ways 00:07:00.939 --> 00:07:02.680 to adjust the sails of our hearts. 00:07:02.860 --> 00:07:04.259 So he says, 00:07:04.360 --> 00:07:05.300 be filled by the Holy Spirit. 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:06.780 And then everything he says after that 00:07:06.780 --> 00:07:08.660 answers the question, 00:07:09.259 --> 00:07:11.280 how can we align the sails 00:07:11.280 --> 00:07:11.980 of our heart 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:13.939 so that that would happen? 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:16.120 The first way to do that 00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:17.000 is fairly obvious. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:17.740 Verse 19, 00:07:18.340 --> 00:07:19.080 we worship. 00:07:20.020 --> 00:07:21.900 Like what we're doing here right now. 00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:23.520 We gather together 00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:25.420 and we sing songs and hymns 00:07:25.420 --> 00:07:27.020 and spiritual songs. 00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:28.400 When we worship, 00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:30.100 that brings our hearts 00:07:30.100 --> 00:07:31.140 into alignment 00:07:31.140 --> 00:07:32.860 with the heart and will of Christ. 00:07:33.500 --> 00:07:35.500 We're opening ourselves up 00:07:35.500 --> 00:07:35.800 and saying, 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:37.060 I want to be filled by the Spirit 00:07:37.060 --> 00:07:38.600 just by being here and doing that. 00:07:38.600 --> 00:07:40.840 The second practice 00:07:40.840 --> 00:07:42.120 also makes sense. 00:07:42.939 --> 00:07:44.220 Prayers of thanksgiving. 00:07:44.379 --> 00:07:44.900 Verse 20, 00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:46.840 when you stop in your life 00:07:46.840 --> 00:07:48.400 and you reflect on the ways 00:07:48.400 --> 00:07:49.580 that God is blessing you, 00:07:50.020 --> 00:07:50.720 the ways that God 00:07:50.720 --> 00:07:51.900 is providing for you, 00:07:52.180 --> 00:07:53.480 when you recount stories 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:54.400 of powerful ways 00:07:54.400 --> 00:07:55.580 that God has answered prayer 00:07:55.580 --> 00:07:56.320 in your life, 00:07:57.439 --> 00:07:58.300 you're aligning 00:07:58.300 --> 00:08:00.260 the sails of your heart 00:08:00.260 --> 00:08:01.660 with the heart and will of Christ. 00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:03.300 You're opening yourself up 00:08:03.300 --> 00:08:04.120 to the Holy Spirit. 00:08:04.540 --> 00:08:06.800 Now, worship, gratitude, 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:08.460 you're opening yourself up 00:08:08.460 --> 00:08:08.980 to the Spirit. 00:08:09.400 --> 00:08:10.420 All makes sense. 00:08:10.680 --> 00:08:11.800 But then look what he says. 00:08:12.980 --> 00:08:13.400 The third, 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:14.860 this is a bit of a curveball. 00:08:15.939 --> 00:08:16.740 The third way 00:08:16.740 --> 00:08:18.160 that we align our hearts 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:20.800 in seeking to be filled 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:21.560 by the Holy Spirit, 00:08:21.660 --> 00:08:22.180 verse 21, 00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:24.319 submitting to one another 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.420 out of reverence for Christ. 00:08:28.080 --> 00:08:30.040 So worship, gratitude, 00:08:31.220 --> 00:08:32.120 mutual submission. 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:35.120 Now, the word submission 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.019 has all kinds of negative connotations 00:08:37.019 --> 00:08:37.720 in our culture 00:08:37.720 --> 00:08:39.659 and some for very good reason. 00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:41.860 The Greek word for submission 00:08:41.860 --> 00:08:42.860 literally means 00:08:42.860 --> 00:08:44.980 to align oneself 00:08:44.980 --> 00:08:48.279 below others in rank. 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:50.659 To perceive yourself 00:08:50.659 --> 00:08:53.159 as being lesser in rank 00:08:53.159 --> 00:08:55.620 for the benefit of the other. 00:08:55.740 --> 00:08:56.700 So it was originally 00:08:56.700 --> 00:08:57.899 a military term. 00:08:59.019 --> 00:09:01.039 To behave as though 00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:02.679 you are of a lower rank 00:09:02.679 --> 00:09:05.259 than the others. 00:09:06.079 --> 00:09:07.319 So it means being willing 00:09:07.319 --> 00:09:08.919 to set aside your preferences 00:09:08.919 --> 00:09:11.000 and to set aside your desires. 00:09:11.319 --> 00:09:12.139 It's a willingness 00:09:12.139 --> 00:09:13.759 to put yourself second 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:15.899 and prioritize 00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:18.079 the well-being of others, 00:09:18.860 --> 00:09:20.299 maybe at your own expense. 00:09:20.899 --> 00:09:22.000 That's what it means. 00:09:22.839 --> 00:09:23.579 In other words, 00:09:23.639 --> 00:09:25.339 it means following the example 00:09:25.339 --> 00:09:26.219 that we see 00:09:26.219 --> 00:09:28.099 in Jesus Christ Himself. 00:09:28.100 --> 00:09:31.100 Paul shares a very similar idea 00:09:31.100 --> 00:09:32.379 in Philippians chapter 2. 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:33.980 He says to believers, 00:09:34.460 --> 00:09:36.540 have this mind among yourselves. 00:09:36.659 --> 00:09:37.019 In other words, 00:09:37.139 --> 00:09:39.200 align yourself in this way, 00:09:39.560 --> 00:09:41.300 which is yours in Christ Jesus, 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:43.159 who though he was 00:09:43.159 --> 00:09:44.500 in the form of God, 00:09:44.820 --> 00:09:46.639 did not count equality with God 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:47.899 a thing to be grasped, 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:50.120 but emptied himself 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:53.120 by taking the form of a servant. 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:55.240 Paul says, 00:09:55.519 --> 00:09:56.920 have that mind among yourselves. 00:09:56.919 --> 00:09:57.439 In other words, 00:09:57.819 --> 00:09:58.439 submission, 00:09:58.620 --> 00:09:59.319 mutual submission, 00:09:59.620 --> 00:10:01.419 is about becoming a servant 00:10:01.419 --> 00:10:03.240 the way Jesus Christ 00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:04.399 became a servant. 00:10:06.139 --> 00:10:07.959 That means having a heart 00:10:07.959 --> 00:10:09.799 that is properly aligned 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:11.979 toward Christ 00:10:11.979 --> 00:10:14.779 and toward other people. 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:16.860 Now, I told you 00:10:16.860 --> 00:10:18.059 that we were going to arrive 00:10:18.059 --> 00:10:18.979 at a principle, 00:10:19.219 --> 00:10:20.459 and here it is. 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:23.699 Your heart cannot be 00:10:23.699 --> 00:10:26.059 properly aligned with Christ 00:10:26.059 --> 00:10:27.979 if it is not also 00:10:27.979 --> 00:10:29.339 properly aligned 00:10:29.339 --> 00:10:30.739 toward the other people 00:10:30.739 --> 00:10:31.779 who are closest to you 00:10:31.779 --> 00:10:32.319 in your life. 00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:34.359 Right? 00:10:34.459 --> 00:10:35.839 If you live your life 00:10:35.839 --> 00:10:37.779 as though most of the time 00:10:37.779 --> 00:10:39.299 you are the most important person 00:10:39.299 --> 00:10:39.759 in the room, 00:10:40.539 --> 00:10:42.039 that your needs and preferences 00:10:42.039 --> 00:10:44.039 and desires should come first, 00:10:44.599 --> 00:10:46.939 you're never going to have 00:10:46.939 --> 00:10:48.139 a deep sense of intimacy 00:10:48.139 --> 00:10:49.739 and connection with God. 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:50.339 There's going to be 00:10:50.339 --> 00:10:51.419 something out of whack. 00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:53.879 Your sails are not properly aligned 00:10:53.879 --> 00:10:55.120 with the heart 00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:56.000 and the will of Christ. 00:10:57.639 --> 00:10:58.220 There's going to be 00:10:58.220 --> 00:10:58.620 a disconnect. 00:10:59.480 --> 00:11:00.500 So that's the principle. 00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:01.439 Now, let's look at 00:11:01.439 --> 00:11:03.019 what this means for us, 00:11:03.500 --> 00:11:04.340 for those of us here 00:11:04.340 --> 00:11:05.240 who follow Jesus. 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:06.740 And Paul shows us 00:11:06.740 --> 00:11:07.539 what it looks like 00:11:07.539 --> 00:11:09.120 when mutual submission 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:10.059 is lived out 00:11:10.059 --> 00:11:11.340 in three of the most 00:11:11.340 --> 00:11:12.139 common types 00:11:12.139 --> 00:11:12.799 of relationships. 00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:14.139 All of these would have been 00:11:14.139 --> 00:11:14.840 found in the home 00:11:14.840 --> 00:11:15.679 in the first century, 00:11:15.939 --> 00:11:17.019 and they're still today 00:11:17.019 --> 00:11:17.860 probably three of our 00:11:17.860 --> 00:11:18.500 most common. 00:11:18.659 --> 00:11:19.080 If you think about 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:20.259 the people that you spend 00:11:20.259 --> 00:11:21.159 the most time with, 00:11:21.159 --> 00:11:23.759 it's probably in your marriage 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:24.379 if you're married, 00:11:25.500 --> 00:11:26.939 parenting if you have kids, 00:11:27.299 --> 00:11:28.360 and the workplace. 00:11:29.579 --> 00:11:30.779 And he gives, listen, 00:11:30.899 --> 00:11:32.879 he gives different exhortations 00:11:32.879 --> 00:11:34.659 from one person to the next. 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:36.959 He gives specific instructions 00:11:36.959 --> 00:11:39.000 depending on what roles we play. 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:40.399 But the thing we need 00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:41.079 to understand 00:11:41.079 --> 00:11:42.799 is that these are all 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:43.679 different ways 00:11:43.679 --> 00:11:45.039 of doing the same thing. 00:11:45.939 --> 00:11:46.159 Right? 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:47.120 They're different ways 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:48.240 of doing the same thing, 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.000 which is becoming a servant. 00:11:51.159 --> 00:11:52.319 Putting aside our needs 00:11:52.319 --> 00:11:52.919 and preferences 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:54.799 and prioritizing 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:56.159 the well-being of another 00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:57.339 at our own expense. 00:11:57.500 --> 00:11:58.120 Different ways 00:11:58.120 --> 00:11:59.079 of doing the same thing. 00:12:00.620 --> 00:12:01.559 So first of all, 00:12:01.620 --> 00:12:02.740 we want to look at marriage. 00:12:02.860 --> 00:12:03.740 Now, of course, 00:12:03.860 --> 00:12:05.639 in this passage in general, 00:12:06.019 --> 00:12:07.399 this tends to be 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:08.360 the most contentious 00:12:08.360 --> 00:12:08.939 of the three. 00:12:10.819 --> 00:12:11.319 You know, 00:12:11.379 --> 00:12:12.439 I've had ways of reading 00:12:12.439 --> 00:12:13.319 this when I was younger, 00:12:13.439 --> 00:12:13.980 ways of reading 00:12:13.980 --> 00:12:14.919 now that I've gotten 00:12:14.919 --> 00:12:15.600 a little bit older. 00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:16.500 I would say, 00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:18.740 I think most people 00:12:18.740 --> 00:12:19.339 who struggle 00:12:19.339 --> 00:12:20.220 with this passage 00:12:20.220 --> 00:12:22.100 I would say, 00:12:22.379 --> 00:12:24.279 get married if you can 00:12:24.279 --> 00:12:25.899 and be married for 10 years. 00:12:27.019 --> 00:12:28.860 And be married for 15 years. 00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:30.540 And I guarantee you 00:12:30.540 --> 00:12:31.259 it will start to shift 00:12:31.259 --> 00:12:32.060 how you read it 00:12:32.060 --> 00:12:34.460 in some pretty fundamental ways. 00:12:36.360 --> 00:12:37.360 It has, of course, 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:38.899 been used as a justification 00:12:38.899 --> 00:12:40.220 for the subjugation 00:12:40.220 --> 00:12:41.060 and abuse of women, 00:12:41.160 --> 00:12:42.000 which is an absolute 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:43.100 perversion of this text. 00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:44.700 On the other hand, 00:12:44.740 --> 00:12:46.300 we do live in a society now, 00:12:46.420 --> 00:12:47.840 a kind of postmodern society, 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:49.680 where all distinctions 00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:52.280 are broken down, 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:53.480 where any distinctions 00:12:53.480 --> 00:12:54.560 are seen as problematic 00:12:54.560 --> 00:12:56.019 or oppressive. 00:12:56.840 --> 00:12:58.019 And neither approach 00:12:58.019 --> 00:12:59.040 can really be supported 00:12:59.040 --> 00:12:59.820 by the text. 00:13:00.060 --> 00:13:01.120 And both, frankly, 00:13:01.259 --> 00:13:02.340 obscure the beauty 00:13:02.340 --> 00:13:03.200 and the brilliance 00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:04.620 of what Paul 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:05.780 is actually saying here. 00:13:06.820 --> 00:13:07.500 Now, Ephesus 00:13:07.500 --> 00:13:09.340 was a patriarchal society, 00:13:09.340 --> 00:13:10.379 and there were 00:13:10.379 --> 00:13:11.900 various household codes 00:13:11.900 --> 00:13:12.680 that were already 00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:13.460 in circulation. 00:13:13.680 --> 00:13:14.940 The Stoic philosophers, 00:13:15.160 --> 00:13:15.680 for example, 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:17.620 had written instructions 00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:19.819 for how to order your home. 00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:22.599 And in this society, 00:13:22.779 --> 00:13:23.959 all these household codes 00:13:23.959 --> 00:13:25.739 strongly emphasized 00:13:25.739 --> 00:13:27.519 power dynamics in the home. 00:13:27.620 --> 00:13:28.339 They were all about 00:13:28.339 --> 00:13:30.339 authority and obedience 00:13:30.339 --> 00:13:32.139 and keeping everybody in line. 00:13:32.779 --> 00:13:33.819 The paterfamilias, 00:13:33.939 --> 00:13:35.379 the male head of the house, 00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:37.039 had a very high degree 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:37.979 and in some cases, 00:13:38.359 --> 00:13:39.659 absolute authority 00:13:39.659 --> 00:13:41.639 over the people 00:13:41.639 --> 00:13:42.120 in their home. 00:13:42.199 --> 00:13:43.039 They had a very high degree 00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:43.399 of authority 00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:44.559 over their wife, 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:45.619 over the children, 00:13:45.779 --> 00:13:46.439 over the servants. 00:13:46.579 --> 00:13:48.479 They even had legal authority 00:13:48.479 --> 00:13:50.699 over people in their home. 00:13:51.739 --> 00:13:53.079 And women and children 00:13:53.079 --> 00:13:53.699 and servants 00:13:53.699 --> 00:13:55.039 were typically seen 00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:55.559 in society 00:13:55.559 --> 00:13:56.419 as being inferior, 00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:57.479 as being less than. 00:13:58.819 --> 00:14:00.239 But then the gospel 00:14:00.239 --> 00:14:01.619 changed everything. 00:14:02.500 --> 00:14:02.699 Right? 00:14:02.739 --> 00:14:04.259 The gospel comes and says, 00:14:04.599 --> 00:14:06.019 all people are equal 00:14:06.019 --> 00:14:07.039 in the eyes of God. 00:14:07.099 --> 00:14:08.059 They have equal value. 00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:09.039 They have equal dignity. 00:14:09.339 --> 00:14:10.399 They have equal worth. 00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:12.079 They're equally filled by 00:14:12.079 --> 00:14:13.559 and gifted by the Holy Spirit. 00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:16.399 And the example of Jesus Christ 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:18.659 begins to turn hierarchies 00:14:18.659 --> 00:14:19.879 upside down. 00:14:19.959 --> 00:14:20.759 As he says, 00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:22.259 the greatest among you 00:14:22.259 --> 00:14:23.239 shall be your servant. 00:14:24.139 --> 00:14:24.659 So you see, 00:14:24.939 --> 00:14:26.399 he's turning things upside down. 00:14:26.659 --> 00:14:27.799 Whoever exalts himself 00:14:27.799 --> 00:14:28.539 will be humbled. 00:14:28.699 --> 00:14:29.899 Whoever humbles himself 00:14:29.899 --> 00:14:31.159 will be exalted. 00:14:31.239 --> 00:14:32.359 He begins to turn things 00:14:32.359 --> 00:14:33.359 upside down. 00:14:33.439 --> 00:14:34.759 And so what Paul does here 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:37.699 is to take a familiar form, 00:14:38.199 --> 00:14:39.099 the household code, 00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:41.300 and he subverts it. 00:14:41.980 --> 00:14:43.659 He shows what it looks like 00:14:43.659 --> 00:14:44.540 for the principle 00:14:44.540 --> 00:14:46.500 of Christ-centered 00:14:46.500 --> 00:14:47.620 mutual submission, 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:49.000 submitting to one another 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:50.440 out of reverence for Christ. 00:14:51.500 --> 00:14:53.120 And he shows how that begins 00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:54.139 to redefine 00:14:54.139 --> 00:14:55.279 all of these relationships. 00:14:56.980 --> 00:14:58.540 Now some people criticized 00:14:58.540 --> 00:14:59.220 the early Christians 00:14:59.220 --> 00:14:59.740 and said, 00:14:59.980 --> 00:15:00.720 well now you're just, 00:15:01.040 --> 00:15:03.200 you're breaking everything down 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:03.759 in society. 00:15:03.899 --> 00:15:04.660 There's going to be disorder. 00:15:04.779 --> 00:15:05.620 There's going to be chaos. 00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:06.960 And this is Paul's way 00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:07.820 of saying no, no, no. 00:15:08.659 --> 00:15:10.080 But it does change everything. 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:11.799 For example, 00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:13.840 he says that the husband 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:15.120 is the head of the wife. 00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:17.340 Now you read that far 00:15:17.340 --> 00:15:18.039 and that would sound 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:19.259 just like all of the other 00:15:19.259 --> 00:15:20.580 pagan household codes. 00:15:21.720 --> 00:15:23.639 But then look how he defines 00:15:23.639 --> 00:15:24.820 what that means. 00:15:25.860 --> 00:15:27.159 See, pagan household codes 00:15:27.159 --> 00:15:28.299 might go on to talk about 00:15:28.299 --> 00:15:30.419 the importance for the husband 00:15:30.419 --> 00:15:32.360 to rule with a firm hand, 00:15:32.419 --> 00:15:33.480 to keep everybody 00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:34.820 under him in line. 00:15:35.620 --> 00:15:36.760 But there's no mention 00:15:36.760 --> 00:15:37.400 of that here. 00:15:37.660 --> 00:15:38.560 There's actually no mention 00:15:38.560 --> 00:15:39.879 of the word authority here. 00:15:40.700 --> 00:15:41.760 Because Jesus Christ 00:15:41.760 --> 00:15:43.500 has redefined what this means. 00:15:44.260 --> 00:15:45.580 So in a Christian marriage, 00:15:46.040 --> 00:15:47.200 being the head doesn't mean 00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:47.900 you get to make 00:15:47.900 --> 00:15:48.960 unilateral decisions. 00:15:50.220 --> 00:15:50.340 Right? 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:51.800 Being a head doesn't mean 00:15:51.800 --> 00:15:53.420 that your wife stays home 00:15:53.420 --> 00:15:54.120 and you're the one 00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:54.960 who goes to work. 00:15:56.280 --> 00:15:57.400 Being the head doesn't mean 00:15:57.400 --> 00:15:58.080 that you're the one 00:15:58.080 --> 00:15:59.200 who manages the finances 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:00.520 and she's the one who cooks. 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:02.240 Right? 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:03.879 A Christian marriage, 00:16:04.860 --> 00:16:06.240 in a Christian marriage, 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:08.080 playing this role means 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.120 you're going out of your way 00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:12.080 to love and to cherish your wife. 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:13.000 That's what he says. 00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:15.440 To love and to nourish 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:16.680 and to cherish your wife. 00:16:17.159 --> 00:16:18.419 It means, as he says, 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:21.480 being so attuned to her needs 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.100 that it is as though 00:16:23.100 --> 00:16:24.480 you are dealing with 00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:25.680 a part of your own body, 00:16:25.940 --> 00:16:28.039 that you're as familiar with 00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:29.560 and as attuned to her needs 00:16:29.559 --> 00:16:31.219 as you would be your own body. 00:16:31.899 --> 00:16:32.579 And it means, 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:33.500 as he says very clearly, 00:16:33.619 --> 00:16:35.279 a willingness to lay down your life, 00:16:35.339 --> 00:16:36.979 a willingness to pour yourself out 00:16:36.979 --> 00:16:39.319 for the sake of your wife 00:16:39.319 --> 00:16:40.419 to see her flourish. 00:16:41.779 --> 00:16:43.419 And the point we need to see here 00:16:43.419 --> 00:16:44.959 is there's nothing like that 00:16:44.959 --> 00:16:47.479 in the pagan household codes. 00:16:48.579 --> 00:16:50.599 Jesus completely redefines 00:16:50.599 --> 00:16:52.000 these relationships. 00:16:53.559 --> 00:16:53.859 Right? 00:16:53.939 --> 00:16:55.179 So in a Christian marriage 00:16:55.179 --> 00:16:56.399 that is defined 00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:57.919 by mutual submission, 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:00.319 the husband prioritizes 00:17:00.319 --> 00:17:01.579 his wife's well-being 00:17:01.579 --> 00:17:03.000 through his love 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:04.539 and self-sacrifice for her. 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:07.119 The wife prioritizes 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:08.480 her husband's well-being 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:09.819 through her respect 00:17:09.819 --> 00:17:10.879 and support for him. 00:17:11.980 --> 00:17:13.500 Now, it does not mean 00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:15.899 that we shouldn't all love 00:17:15.899 --> 00:17:16.980 and respect and support 00:17:16.980 --> 00:17:17.940 one another, right? 00:17:18.639 --> 00:17:19.899 But there is wisdom, 00:17:20.019 --> 00:17:21.079 and this is why I come back 00:17:21.079 --> 00:17:21.839 to say, you know, 00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:23.539 the longer I've been married, 00:17:23.539 --> 00:17:25.339 the more I read this 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:27.079 in a way that recognizes 00:17:27.079 --> 00:17:29.459 that there is deep wisdom 00:17:29.459 --> 00:17:30.559 that I need to hear. 00:17:31.579 --> 00:17:32.539 And instead of getting 00:17:32.539 --> 00:17:33.299 bent out of shape 00:17:33.299 --> 00:17:35.559 about what Paul says to whom, 00:17:36.019 --> 00:17:37.699 I have benefited far more 00:17:37.699 --> 00:17:38.939 from simply reading it 00:17:38.939 --> 00:17:40.839 as a pastoral letter to me, 00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:43.439 giving me an opportunity 00:17:43.439 --> 00:17:46.919 to adjust the sails of my heart 00:17:46.919 --> 00:17:48.699 in ways that I might need to do 00:17:48.699 --> 00:17:50.619 for the sake of my marriage 00:17:50.619 --> 00:17:51.939 and my relationship with Christ. 00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:52.440 Right? 00:17:53.299 --> 00:17:54.340 So, for example, 00:17:54.940 --> 00:17:57.220 if I'm not loving 00:17:57.220 --> 00:17:59.660 and prioritizing my wife's needs, 00:18:00.340 --> 00:18:02.240 I need to become aware of that. 00:18:02.320 --> 00:18:02.480 Right? 00:18:02.539 --> 00:18:03.120 So, for example, 00:18:03.340 --> 00:18:05.420 if I'm expecting physical intimacy, 00:18:05.980 --> 00:18:08.559 but I'm not doing the work 00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:09.440 of making sure 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:11.000 there is emotional intimacy, 00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:13.000 right, 00:18:13.600 --> 00:18:14.620 where she feels safe 00:18:14.620 --> 00:18:15.460 and cared for, 00:18:16.360 --> 00:18:17.960 if I'm out of touch 00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:19.279 with the mental load 00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:20.259 that she's carrying, 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:21.660 you know, it's amazing. 00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:22.779 I will talk to the most 00:18:22.779 --> 00:18:24.640 radically militantly 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:27.700 theologically egalitarian couples. 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:29.820 You know, it's been 17 years 00:18:29.820 --> 00:18:30.259 of marriage 00:18:30.259 --> 00:18:32.160 and a lot of time spent 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:33.000 counseling couples, 00:18:33.620 --> 00:18:35.420 running the whole spectrum 00:18:35.420 --> 00:18:36.360 from complementarian 00:18:36.360 --> 00:18:37.160 to egalitarian. 00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:39.700 And I will meet with 00:18:39.700 --> 00:18:41.720 the most radically egalitarian people 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:43.360 and still, almost always, 00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:44.660 the wife carries 00:18:44.660 --> 00:18:46.259 the massive majority 00:18:46.259 --> 00:18:47.120 of the mental load 00:18:47.120 --> 00:18:47.600 for the family. 00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:49.759 It's simply a reality. 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:51.299 Right? 00:18:51.379 --> 00:18:51.839 So, for instance, 00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:52.779 if I'm out of touch 00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:53.339 with the fact 00:18:53.339 --> 00:18:54.660 that my wife did 00:18:54.660 --> 00:18:56.099 all of the making 00:18:56.099 --> 00:18:56.740 of appointments, 00:18:57.660 --> 00:18:58.759 all of the buying 00:18:58.759 --> 00:18:59.720 of school supplies, 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:01.480 and everything necessary 00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:02.440 for back to school, 00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:04.299 and I didn't even know 00:19:04.299 --> 00:19:05.559 the date of the first day 00:19:05.559 --> 00:19:05.900 of school. 00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:07.400 Right? 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:08.379 If I'm out of touch 00:19:08.379 --> 00:19:09.700 with what that's like 00:19:09.700 --> 00:19:11.579 for her, 00:19:11.720 --> 00:19:12.640 I need to adjust 00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:13.440 my sales. 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:14.940 You know, 00:19:15.259 --> 00:19:17.120 that's not only going 00:19:17.120 --> 00:19:18.019 to hurt my relationship 00:19:18.019 --> 00:19:18.740 with her, 00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:19.080 it's, 00:19:19.380 --> 00:19:20.200 what this is saying is, 00:19:20.360 --> 00:19:20.980 that's going to hurt 00:19:20.980 --> 00:19:21.700 my relationship 00:19:21.700 --> 00:19:23.400 with Christ. 00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:25.700 There's a disconnect there. 00:19:26.140 --> 00:19:26.340 Right? 00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:27.799 Or if I'm a wife 00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:29.600 and I go out 00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:30.299 with my friends 00:19:30.299 --> 00:19:32.480 and I spend the whole time 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:33.759 complaining about my husband, 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:36.880 that's not only going 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:37.660 to hurt my relationship 00:19:37.660 --> 00:19:38.100 with him, 00:19:38.140 --> 00:19:38.660 that's going to hurt 00:19:38.660 --> 00:19:39.320 my relationship 00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:39.920 with Christ. 00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:41.580 Right? 00:19:41.579 --> 00:19:42.259 I need to adjust 00:19:42.259 --> 00:19:42.859 my sales. 00:19:44.699 --> 00:19:44.919 Right? 00:19:44.980 --> 00:19:45.659 So the point we need 00:19:45.659 --> 00:19:46.220 to see is, 00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:47.519 the way our hearts 00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:48.139 are aligned 00:19:48.139 --> 00:19:49.259 toward those people 00:19:49.259 --> 00:19:50.039 in our lives 00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:51.079 is connected 00:19:51.079 --> 00:19:51.779 to the way 00:19:51.779 --> 00:19:52.319 they're aligned 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:52.919 with Christ. 00:19:53.159 --> 00:19:54.099 If we want to be filled 00:19:54.099 --> 00:19:54.919 by the Holy Spirit, 00:19:55.439 --> 00:19:56.319 it's not just about 00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:56.859 our relationship 00:19:56.859 --> 00:19:57.379 with Jesus 00:19:57.379 --> 00:19:57.899 and how much 00:19:57.899 --> 00:19:58.319 we're praying, 00:19:58.480 --> 00:19:59.500 it's how am I 00:19:59.500 --> 00:20:00.579 orienting myself 00:20:00.579 --> 00:20:01.779 and aligning myself 00:20:01.779 --> 00:20:02.699 toward the people 00:20:02.699 --> 00:20:03.480 closest to me. 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:05.039 We have another example 00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:05.779 here in parenting. 00:20:07.379 --> 00:20:08.439 Paul calls children 00:20:08.439 --> 00:20:09.899 to obey their parents 00:20:09.899 --> 00:20:10.939 and to honor them. 00:20:11.579 --> 00:20:12.439 And then he says 00:20:12.439 --> 00:20:12.980 to fathers, 00:20:13.079 --> 00:20:13.539 and this word 00:20:13.539 --> 00:20:14.599 could also be translated 00:20:14.599 --> 00:20:15.259 as parents, 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:17.819 not to exasperate 00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:18.339 their children 00:20:18.339 --> 00:20:19.279 but to bring them up 00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:19.980 in the discipline 00:20:19.980 --> 00:20:21.079 and instruction 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:22.199 of the Lord. 00:20:22.259 --> 00:20:22.619 And again, 00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:23.819 we have to appreciate 00:20:23.819 --> 00:20:25.079 how countercultural 00:20:25.079 --> 00:20:26.799 this was and is. 00:20:27.679 --> 00:20:28.799 In the ancient world, 00:20:29.159 --> 00:20:31.019 fathers had absolute authority 00:20:31.019 --> 00:20:32.079 over their children. 00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:33.740 They could be as harsh 00:20:33.740 --> 00:20:34.539 or abusive 00:20:34.539 --> 00:20:35.460 as they wanted 00:20:35.460 --> 00:20:36.720 and there was really 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:37.619 no protection 00:20:37.619 --> 00:20:39.259 for the child 00:20:39.259 --> 00:20:39.980 in that case. 00:20:39.980 --> 00:20:42.000 In our society, 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:42.740 I would say, 00:20:43.620 --> 00:20:44.579 to a large degree, 00:20:44.660 --> 00:20:46.180 for probably most of us, 00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:47.759 the pendulum has swung 00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:48.400 pretty far 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:49.519 in the opposite direction. 00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:51.680 So it's not uncommon, 00:20:52.220 --> 00:20:52.420 right? 00:20:52.460 --> 00:20:53.259 We do have 00:20:53.259 --> 00:20:55.000 abusive, 00:20:55.220 --> 00:20:56.299 controlling parents, 00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:56.920 absolutely, 00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:57.460 and some of us 00:20:57.460 --> 00:20:58.099 grew up in houses 00:20:58.099 --> 00:20:58.539 like that. 00:20:58.579 --> 00:20:59.059 So not saying 00:20:59.059 --> 00:20:59.660 it's not there, 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:01.420 but it's also not uncommon 00:21:01.420 --> 00:21:02.240 to see parents 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:03.819 who believe their role 00:21:03.819 --> 00:21:05.160 is to be highly responsive 00:21:05.160 --> 00:21:06.380 to their children's needs 00:21:06.380 --> 00:21:08.140 and their desires, 00:21:08.340 --> 00:21:09.120 but to provide 00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:10.020 little guidance 00:21:10.020 --> 00:21:11.240 or rule or discipline. 00:21:12.380 --> 00:21:12.520 Right? 00:21:12.600 --> 00:21:13.540 Parents who sort of 00:21:13.540 --> 00:21:15.120 have this underlying assumption 00:21:15.120 --> 00:21:16.580 that children know 00:21:16.580 --> 00:21:17.580 what's best for them 00:21:17.580 --> 00:21:19.080 and that children 00:21:19.080 --> 00:21:19.780 should be free 00:21:19.780 --> 00:21:20.800 to make their own choices 00:21:20.800 --> 00:21:22.240 without much interference 00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:23.220 from their parents. 00:21:23.780 --> 00:21:25.220 I remember growing up 00:21:25.220 --> 00:21:26.160 and when I was young, 00:21:26.260 --> 00:21:27.260 I remember a, 00:21:28.300 --> 00:21:29.820 beginning to watch 00:21:29.820 --> 00:21:31.080 the Nickelodeon channel. 00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:33.120 And it was like a new thing 00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:33.920 when we were young 00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:34.980 and what was new about it 00:21:34.980 --> 00:21:36.320 is that for the first time 00:21:36.320 --> 00:21:37.200 there was programming, 00:21:38.060 --> 00:21:38.220 you know, 00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:39.019 before that you had 00:21:39.019 --> 00:21:40.400 had shows with kids, 00:21:40.500 --> 00:21:41.539 but the parents were right. 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:42.620 The adults were generally 00:21:42.620 --> 00:21:43.440 good people, 00:21:43.860 --> 00:21:44.140 right? 00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:44.720 And they were doing 00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:45.380 the right thing 00:21:45.380 --> 00:21:46.400 in the lives of their children. 00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:47.680 And generally, 00:21:47.820 --> 00:21:48.360 it was the children 00:21:48.360 --> 00:21:49.140 who needed to learn 00:21:49.140 --> 00:21:49.620 the lessons. 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:50.720 But the thing that was 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:51.900 different about Nickelodeon 00:21:51.900 --> 00:21:53.100 is that Nickelodeon 00:21:53.100 --> 00:21:54.019 turned that upside down 00:21:54.019 --> 00:21:54.660 and all of a sudden 00:21:54.660 --> 00:21:57.100 you have a child-centered 00:21:57.100 --> 00:21:57.640 perspective 00:21:57.640 --> 00:21:59.200 and the children 00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:00.259 are the ones who are right 00:22:00.259 --> 00:22:01.140 and the parents 00:22:01.140 --> 00:22:01.740 are the ones 00:22:01.740 --> 00:22:03.019 who need correction. 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:03.880 Right? 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:04.920 And it's been interesting 00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:05.820 to see a shift 00:22:05.820 --> 00:22:07.039 in how we as a culture 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:08.039 think about parenting 00:22:08.039 --> 00:22:09.880 that really has gone 00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:11.160 very far in that direction. 00:22:11.900 --> 00:22:13.100 That our job as parents 00:22:13.100 --> 00:22:13.920 is to figure out 00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:15.060 how to get in line with 00:22:15.060 --> 00:22:16.039 and meet the needs 00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:16.560 of our children 00:22:16.560 --> 00:22:18.060 and let them guide themselves. 00:22:19.060 --> 00:22:19.360 And see, 00:22:19.460 --> 00:22:20.100 Christian parenting 00:22:20.100 --> 00:22:20.820 doesn't resemble 00:22:20.820 --> 00:22:21.480 either of these. 00:22:21.560 --> 00:22:22.220 It doesn't resemble 00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:24.500 the abusive patriarchal society 00:22:24.500 --> 00:22:25.880 that this was written in, 00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:27.019 nor does it resemble 00:22:27.019 --> 00:22:27.759 where we are now 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:28.860 in the postmodern West. 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:31.500 Children don't know 00:22:31.500 --> 00:22:32.300 what's best for them. 00:22:32.299 --> 00:22:34.139 Simply put, 00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:35.819 they need parents 00:22:35.819 --> 00:22:37.200 who will not only love them 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:38.039 and meet their needs, 00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:39.299 but guide them 00:22:39.299 --> 00:22:40.159 and prepare them 00:22:40.159 --> 00:22:41.500 for life as mature 00:22:41.500 --> 00:22:43.339 Christ-following adults. 00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:45.139 And so, 00:22:45.419 --> 00:22:46.460 the instructions 00:22:46.460 --> 00:22:47.339 that Paul gives 00:22:47.339 --> 00:22:48.079 are different 00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:48.960 to parents 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.000 than they are children. 00:22:50.659 --> 00:22:51.859 For Christian children, 00:22:53.139 --> 00:22:53.700 submission, 00:22:54.619 --> 00:22:55.119 in other words, 00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:56.519 ranking myself below, 00:22:56.879 --> 00:22:57.079 right, 00:22:57.299 --> 00:22:57.839 prioritize, 00:22:57.839 --> 00:22:59.740 that means obedience. 00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:01.679 Submission means 00:23:01.679 --> 00:23:02.299 putting aside 00:23:02.299 --> 00:23:03.659 what you think is best, 00:23:04.939 --> 00:23:06.159 obeying your parents 00:23:06.159 --> 00:23:07.319 in the Lord. 00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:08.639 Right? 00:23:08.679 --> 00:23:09.399 And it's very important 00:23:09.399 --> 00:23:10.199 that he says that. 00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:11.699 Obeying your parents, 00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:12.359 if you're a kid, 00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:13.119 obeying your parents 00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:14.599 is a way of obeying Jesus. 00:23:16.019 --> 00:23:17.439 It's a way of obeying Jesus. 00:23:18.439 --> 00:23:19.799 It's about recognizing 00:23:19.799 --> 00:23:21.139 the role that God 00:23:21.139 --> 00:23:22.179 has given the parents 00:23:22.179 --> 00:23:22.899 that you have 00:23:22.899 --> 00:23:23.619 in your life. 00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:24.740 And it's about honoring 00:23:24.740 --> 00:23:25.459 the fact that even 00:23:25.459 --> 00:23:25.919 if your parents 00:23:25.919 --> 00:23:26.519 aren't perfect, 00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:27.480 and we know they're not. 00:23:28.119 --> 00:23:29.139 No parents are perfect. 00:23:30.019 --> 00:23:31.299 Even though your parents 00:23:31.299 --> 00:23:32.480 are far from perfect, 00:23:33.059 --> 00:23:34.619 God uses your parents 00:23:34.619 --> 00:23:35.960 most of the time. 00:23:36.279 --> 00:23:37.379 Now, there are outliers, 00:23:37.539 --> 00:23:38.539 there are cases of abuse 00:23:38.539 --> 00:23:38.960 and neglect 00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:39.779 and all of those things. 00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:40.960 We're obviously not talking 00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:41.700 about those things. 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:43.539 In most cases, 00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:45.440 with Christian parents 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:46.480 and Christian children, 00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:48.319 obedience is about 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:49.160 honoring the fact 00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:49.960 that even though 00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:50.980 your parents are imperfect, 00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:52.379 God uses them 00:23:52.379 --> 00:23:53.319 to form you 00:23:53.319 --> 00:23:54.839 into the people 00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:56.079 that he's created you to be. 00:23:56.519 --> 00:23:57.859 that God works 00:23:57.859 --> 00:23:58.680 through your parents. 00:23:59.859 --> 00:24:01.200 For Christian parents, 00:24:01.559 --> 00:24:02.200 submission means 00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:03.039 putting aside 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.339 what is most easy. 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:05.480 It means putting aside 00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:06.799 what is most convenient, 00:24:07.220 --> 00:24:07.900 and it means 00:24:07.900 --> 00:24:09.259 doing the hard work 00:24:09.259 --> 00:24:10.339 of discipling 00:24:10.339 --> 00:24:11.180 your children. 00:24:12.299 --> 00:24:13.279 And that is 00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:14.740 extraordinarily hard. 00:24:14.859 --> 00:24:16.480 It is so much easier 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:18.019 to just give in 00:24:18.019 --> 00:24:20.759 than it is to set limits 00:24:20.759 --> 00:24:23.099 and give consequences 00:24:23.099 --> 00:24:25.099 and hold your ground 00:24:25.099 --> 00:24:26.099 when they push back, 00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:27.319 which they will. 00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:29.719 It is so much easier 00:24:29.719 --> 00:24:30.719 when you're exhausted 00:24:30.719 --> 00:24:31.819 at the end of the day, 00:24:31.859 --> 00:24:32.980 it is so much easier 00:24:32.980 --> 00:24:35.480 to veg out on your phone 00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:37.539 than to engage your child 00:24:37.539 --> 00:24:40.379 and to pray with them, 00:24:40.719 --> 00:24:43.039 to read Scripture with them, 00:24:43.139 --> 00:24:45.000 to have meaningful conversations 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:45.480 with them. 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:46.459 It's so much easier 00:24:46.459 --> 00:24:47.500 just to let them 00:24:47.500 --> 00:24:48.740 watch something on TV 00:24:48.740 --> 00:24:49.919 so that you can watch 00:24:49.919 --> 00:24:50.919 something on your phone 00:24:50.920 --> 00:24:52.100 because you're exhausted. 00:24:52.259 --> 00:24:53.300 And we've all been there 00:24:53.300 --> 00:24:54.120 and we all do it 00:24:54.120 --> 00:24:54.980 and we all get it. 00:24:55.960 --> 00:24:57.420 It is so much easier 00:24:57.420 --> 00:24:58.740 to stay home on Sundays 00:24:58.740 --> 00:25:00.400 than to bring your kids 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:01.860 to church consistently 00:25:01.860 --> 00:25:02.740 because it's hard 00:25:02.740 --> 00:25:03.440 to come to church. 00:25:03.700 --> 00:25:04.420 It's hard to come 00:25:04.420 --> 00:25:05.039 to Sunday school. 00:25:05.380 --> 00:25:06.800 It's hard to proactively 00:25:06.800 --> 00:25:08.420 find programs 00:25:08.420 --> 00:25:09.320 and opportunities 00:25:09.320 --> 00:25:10.580 that your kids 00:25:10.580 --> 00:25:11.480 can participate in 00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:11.880 that are going to 00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:12.720 form their faith. 00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:13.940 It is so much easier 00:25:13.940 --> 00:25:14.580 to take the path 00:25:14.580 --> 00:25:15.340 of least resistance 00:25:15.340 --> 00:25:16.560 because we all work 00:25:16.560 --> 00:25:17.279 full-time jobs, 00:25:17.400 --> 00:25:18.360 we're all stressed, 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:19.440 we're all exhausted, 00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:24.059 the most important aspect 00:25:24.059 --> 00:25:24.980 of Christian parenting 00:25:24.980 --> 00:25:27.220 is not what you're 00:25:27.220 --> 00:25:28.120 signing them up for 00:25:28.120 --> 00:25:28.960 or even what you're 00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:29.660 doing with them. 00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:31.080 It's what they see 00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:31.640 in you. 00:25:32.340 --> 00:25:34.299 It's what they see 00:25:34.299 --> 00:25:35.460 in your relationship 00:25:35.460 --> 00:25:36.059 with Jesus. 00:25:37.980 --> 00:25:39.580 What does mom look like 00:25:39.580 --> 00:25:41.019 when she's worried? 00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:42.220 What does mom look like 00:25:42.220 --> 00:25:42.900 when she's stressed? 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:43.880 What does dad do 00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:44.840 when he's angry? 00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:46.240 Right? 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:48.360 It's not about being perfect, 00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:49.459 it's not about being sinless, 00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:50.000 absolutely. 00:25:50.159 --> 00:25:50.519 What does it mean 00:25:50.519 --> 00:25:51.219 to follow Jesus? 00:25:51.339 --> 00:25:52.079 It means you're the kind 00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:52.779 of person who admits 00:25:52.779 --> 00:25:53.259 you're wrong. 00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:54.039 You're the kind of person 00:25:54.039 --> 00:25:55.459 who admits when you yelled 00:25:55.459 --> 00:25:56.279 and you shouldn't have yelled. 00:25:56.399 --> 00:25:57.699 It means you're the kind 00:25:57.699 --> 00:25:59.039 of person who's regularly, 00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:00.399 consistently coming back 00:26:00.399 --> 00:26:01.619 to Christ to give you 00:26:01.619 --> 00:26:02.819 what only Christ can give you. 00:26:03.219 --> 00:26:04.139 It means you're modeling 00:26:04.139 --> 00:26:05.859 repentance on a daily basis. 00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:08.779 Setting an example 00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:10.559 for your children is hard. 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:12.219 It is so much easier 00:26:12.219 --> 00:26:13.439 to try to outsource it, 00:26:14.539 --> 00:26:15.379 right, to a program 00:26:15.379 --> 00:26:16.179 or to a ministry 00:26:16.180 --> 00:26:16.700 or something. 00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:18.660 But this is the role 00:26:18.660 --> 00:26:19.759 that God has given you. 00:26:20.039 --> 00:26:20.700 And submission, 00:26:21.120 --> 00:26:21.960 in this case, 00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:23.039 means putting aside 00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:24.519 what is easy and expedient 00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:26.340 and doing the hard work 00:26:26.340 --> 00:26:27.480 of fulfilling that calling. 00:26:28.860 --> 00:26:29.720 When we do that, 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:30.480 we align our hearts 00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:30.980 with Christ. 00:26:32.140 --> 00:26:33.019 And then finally, 00:26:33.140 --> 00:26:34.100 he gives us the example 00:26:34.100 --> 00:26:34.779 of the workplace. 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:35.880 He uses the language 00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:36.759 of bondservant 00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:37.279 or servant 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:38.279 or even slave 00:26:38.279 --> 00:26:39.279 and master. 00:26:40.580 --> 00:26:41.019 Certainly, 00:26:41.180 --> 00:26:42.180 there was that 00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:43.380 and in many ways, 00:26:43.500 --> 00:26:43.759 this was, 00:26:44.700 --> 00:26:45.180 you know, 00:26:45.259 --> 00:26:46.039 it was not, 00:26:46.340 --> 00:26:47.920 it's not an institution 00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:49.920 that resembles 00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:51.360 what we think of as slavery 00:26:51.360 --> 00:26:52.240 on the one hand, 00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:52.900 but it's also not 00:26:52.900 --> 00:26:53.380 an institution 00:26:53.380 --> 00:26:54.440 that we want to have today 00:26:54.440 --> 00:26:54.860 in any way, 00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:55.480 shape, or form. 00:26:56.039 --> 00:26:56.940 There were a lot of people 00:26:56.940 --> 00:26:58.240 for whom this was a way 00:26:58.240 --> 00:26:59.340 that they voluntarily 00:26:59.340 --> 00:27:00.019 entered into 00:27:00.019 --> 00:27:01.000 being a bondservant 00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:02.000 in order to try 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:02.539 to make money 00:27:02.539 --> 00:27:03.340 and get an education 00:27:03.340 --> 00:27:05.080 and climb a ladder. 00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:05.960 And so, 00:27:06.080 --> 00:27:07.660 it was employment 00:27:07.660 --> 00:27:08.620 for many people 00:27:08.620 --> 00:27:10.100 in the ancient world. 00:27:10.099 --> 00:27:11.059 And so, 00:27:11.179 --> 00:27:12.039 it is applicable, 00:27:12.219 --> 00:27:12.719 what he says 00:27:12.719 --> 00:27:13.339 is applicable 00:27:13.339 --> 00:27:15.819 to all of us 00:27:15.819 --> 00:27:16.199 who work 00:27:16.199 --> 00:27:17.119 and have bosses 00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:17.740 and jobs 00:27:17.740 --> 00:27:19.439 in some ways. 00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:20.359 So, 00:27:20.439 --> 00:27:21.579 for Christian employees, 00:27:22.740 --> 00:27:23.159 Paul says, 00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:23.879 submission means 00:27:23.879 --> 00:27:24.519 putting aside 00:27:24.519 --> 00:27:25.139 the temptation 00:27:25.139 --> 00:27:27.139 to do the bare minimum 00:27:27.139 --> 00:27:29.039 just because 00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:29.879 you don't like your boss. 00:27:31.079 --> 00:27:31.299 Right? 00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:32.759 It means putting aside 00:27:32.759 --> 00:27:34.219 the temptation 00:27:34.219 --> 00:27:36.099 to sort of fake it. 00:27:36.619 --> 00:27:37.079 Right? 00:27:37.139 --> 00:27:37.799 To phone it in. 00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:39.299 It means 00:27:39.299 --> 00:27:40.539 pouring ourselves 00:27:40.539 --> 00:27:41.759 into our work. 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:43.799 It means doing our work 00:27:43.799 --> 00:27:44.639 with integrity, 00:27:44.899 --> 00:27:45.480 doing our work 00:27:45.480 --> 00:27:46.299 with sincerity, 00:27:47.059 --> 00:27:48.240 working from the heart. 00:27:49.319 --> 00:27:50.139 And the reason 00:27:50.139 --> 00:27:50.899 is not necessarily 00:27:50.899 --> 00:27:51.619 because your boss 00:27:51.619 --> 00:27:52.200 deserves it. 00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:55.139 The reason is 00:27:55.139 --> 00:27:56.039 because there's somebody 00:27:56.039 --> 00:27:57.240 that you're working for 00:27:57.240 --> 00:27:58.480 other than your boss. 00:27:59.399 --> 00:28:00.419 The true person 00:28:00.419 --> 00:28:01.139 that you're serving 00:28:01.139 --> 00:28:01.980 in your job 00:28:01.980 --> 00:28:03.319 is Jesus Christ himself. 00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:04.960 And so, 00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:05.339 he says, 00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:06.319 in everything that you do, 00:28:06.379 --> 00:28:06.899 work as though 00:28:06.899 --> 00:28:07.460 you were working 00:28:07.460 --> 00:28:08.460 for Christ himself 00:28:08.460 --> 00:28:09.220 because that's 00:28:09.220 --> 00:28:10.120 who you're working for. 00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:13.500 And for Christian bosses, 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:15.240 submission means 00:28:15.240 --> 00:28:15.860 putting aside 00:28:15.860 --> 00:28:16.500 the temptation 00:28:16.500 --> 00:28:18.279 to treat 00:28:18.279 --> 00:28:19.140 your employees 00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:19.900 unjustly, 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:20.759 which may be cheaper 00:28:20.759 --> 00:28:21.440 for the company. 00:28:22.100 --> 00:28:22.200 Right? 00:28:23.400 --> 00:28:24.819 Behaving in unethical ways 00:28:24.819 --> 00:28:26.019 may help your bottom line. 00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:28.200 Right? 00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:29.799 Expecting them to come in 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:30.700 and work on the weekends. 00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:31.240 That may, 00:28:31.420 --> 00:28:32.259 you may need to get 00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:33.120 that project done 00:28:33.120 --> 00:28:33.880 and you may need them 00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:34.840 working all through the weekend 00:28:34.840 --> 00:28:35.400 to get it done 00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:36.100 and that might actually 00:28:36.100 --> 00:28:36.960 make you look better. 00:28:38.740 --> 00:28:39.460 But it means 00:28:39.460 --> 00:28:40.120 putting aside 00:28:40.120 --> 00:28:40.680 the temptation 00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:41.800 to abuse your power, 00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:43.019 to treat your employees 00:28:43.019 --> 00:28:43.720 unjustly. 00:28:44.380 --> 00:28:46.019 And very countercultural, 00:28:46.180 --> 00:28:46.720 very radical, 00:28:46.860 --> 00:28:47.340 it says, 00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:49.800 to all masters, 00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:50.580 to all bosses, 00:28:50.680 --> 00:28:51.380 to all employers, 00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:53.940 you need to lead 00:28:53.940 --> 00:28:54.780 your people knowing 00:28:54.780 --> 00:28:55.440 that one day 00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:56.220 Jesus is going 00:28:56.220 --> 00:28:57.080 to hold you accountable. 00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:59.000 And when you stand 00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:59.720 before him, 00:29:00.259 --> 00:29:01.200 whatever distinctions 00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:02.100 you had here, 00:29:02.380 --> 00:29:02.800 master, 00:29:03.340 --> 00:29:03.900 bond servant, 00:29:03.900 --> 00:29:05.519 those don't matter to him. 00:29:05.980 --> 00:29:06.200 It says, 00:29:06.280 --> 00:29:06.759 with him there is 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:07.680 no partiality 00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:08.860 and you will be 00:29:08.860 --> 00:29:09.460 held accountable 00:29:09.460 --> 00:29:10.680 for the way you treated 00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:11.780 those who worked for you. 00:29:13.320 --> 00:29:14.360 So we want to pull 00:29:14.360 --> 00:29:15.480 all this together. 00:29:15.580 --> 00:29:16.019 I want to pull 00:29:16.019 --> 00:29:16.700 all of it together 00:29:16.700 --> 00:29:17.860 because I know it's a lot 00:29:17.860 --> 00:29:19.440 but we need to see 00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:20.200 the whole flow 00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:20.759 of the argument. 00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:23.680 You are, 00:29:23.840 --> 00:29:24.540 if you're a Christian, 00:29:24.860 --> 00:29:25.540 someone who now 00:29:25.540 --> 00:29:26.240 has access 00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:27.740 to the life of God 00:29:27.740 --> 00:29:29.280 and God's desire 00:29:29.280 --> 00:29:29.900 and promise 00:29:29.900 --> 00:29:31.220 is to fill you 00:29:31.220 --> 00:29:33.019 so that you radiate 00:29:33.019 --> 00:29:33.860 with the Holy Spirit 00:29:33.859 --> 00:29:34.740 so that it spills 00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:35.399 out of you 00:29:35.399 --> 00:29:36.719 into every aspect 00:29:36.719 --> 00:29:37.679 of your life. 00:29:38.059 --> 00:29:39.819 God is going about 00:29:39.819 --> 00:29:40.439 the renewal 00:29:40.439 --> 00:29:41.679 of all things 00:29:41.679 --> 00:29:42.799 and he does that 00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:44.500 through spirit-filled people. 00:29:45.859 --> 00:29:47.759 If we want to participate 00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:49.139 in the life of God, 00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:50.359 we need to regularly 00:29:50.359 --> 00:29:51.279 ask ourselves, 00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:52.779 how do I need to adjust 00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:53.679 the sails 00:29:53.679 --> 00:29:54.859 of my heart? 00:29:54.939 --> 00:29:56.059 Am I aligned 00:29:56.059 --> 00:29:57.000 with the heart 00:29:57.000 --> 00:29:57.779 and will of Christ? 00:29:58.479 --> 00:29:59.439 Am I regularly 00:29:59.439 --> 00:30:00.719 putting myself second? 00:30:00.859 --> 00:30:01.379 Am I regularly 00:30:01.380 --> 00:30:02.920 prioritizing the well-being 00:30:02.920 --> 00:30:04.400 of those around me? 00:30:05.900 --> 00:30:06.660 And of course, 00:30:06.760 --> 00:30:07.440 this will always 00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:09.060 be a work in progress. 00:30:10.020 --> 00:30:11.040 This will always 00:30:11.040 --> 00:30:11.600 be something 00:30:11.600 --> 00:30:12.400 that we do 00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:14.120 very imperfectly 00:30:14.120 --> 00:30:15.000 and we will fail 00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:15.760 as often 00:30:15.760 --> 00:30:16.420 or more 00:30:16.420 --> 00:30:17.400 than we succeed. 00:30:18.120 --> 00:30:18.940 So if you're sitting 00:30:18.940 --> 00:30:19.680 here right now 00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:20.720 feeling that tension 00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:21.260 as you think 00:30:21.260 --> 00:30:22.260 about your relationships, 00:30:22.660 --> 00:30:23.680 you're in good company. 00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:25.320 We will fail 00:30:25.320 --> 00:30:26.720 more than we succeed. 00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:28.839 That raises 00:30:28.839 --> 00:30:30.200 one final question though. 00:30:31.380 --> 00:30:32.339 What happens 00:30:32.339 --> 00:30:33.640 if I'm in relationship 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:35.000 with someone 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:36.980 and I'm doing my best 00:30:36.980 --> 00:30:37.700 to prioritize 00:30:37.700 --> 00:30:39.819 their well-being 00:30:39.819 --> 00:30:41.960 but they don't reciprocate? 00:30:42.620 --> 00:30:44.059 What do I do with that? 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:46.620 And on the one hand, 00:30:47.120 --> 00:30:48.880 this passage clearly shows 00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.059 how wrong that is. 00:30:50.900 --> 00:30:52.079 It shows that 00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:53.460 even if your life 00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:55.220 feels greatly unfair, 00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:56.680 deeply unfair right now, 00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:57.740 in whatever relationship 00:30:57.740 --> 00:30:59.059 you're thinking of. 00:30:59.860 --> 00:31:01.140 It means there is 00:31:01.140 --> 00:31:02.799 someone who sees that. 00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:05.140 I think chapter 6, 00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:05.640 verse 9 00:31:05.640 --> 00:31:06.259 can be applied 00:31:06.259 --> 00:31:07.319 to the whole passage. 00:31:08.140 --> 00:31:10.000 Your master in heaven sees 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:11.059 and with him 00:31:11.059 --> 00:31:12.279 there is no partiality. 00:31:13.799 --> 00:31:14.680 So on the one hand, 00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:15.500 we have to recognize 00:31:15.500 --> 00:31:17.299 you can't control 00:31:17.299 --> 00:31:19.100 anyone else. 00:31:20.059 --> 00:31:21.519 You can't manage 00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:22.440 how they treat you. 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:23.339 You can't manage 00:31:23.339 --> 00:31:24.440 how they think about you. 00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:25.620 You can't control. 00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:26.420 It's not you. 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:27.779 You're crossing 00:31:27.779 --> 00:31:28.500 a boundary 00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:29.519 that you can't cross 00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:30.440 if you try to control 00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:30.920 and manage 00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:31.960 how another person 00:31:31.960 --> 00:31:32.460 treats you. 00:31:32.580 --> 00:31:33.539 If you try to manipulate 00:31:33.539 --> 00:31:34.620 them into doing 00:31:34.620 --> 00:31:35.740 what you want them to do, 00:31:35.840 --> 00:31:36.720 you can't do that. 00:31:36.779 --> 00:31:37.460 The only person 00:31:37.460 --> 00:31:38.120 that you're responsible 00:31:38.120 --> 00:31:39.019 for is yourself. 00:31:39.580 --> 00:31:40.600 So you have to recognize 00:31:40.600 --> 00:31:41.060 that. 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:43.380 You can only be responsible 00:31:43.380 --> 00:31:44.460 for your own heart 00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:45.440 and your own posture 00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:46.180 toward them. 00:31:46.759 --> 00:31:48.140 But you can take comfort 00:31:48.140 --> 00:31:49.200 in knowing that one day 00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:49.920 God will hold 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:50.759 that person accountable 00:31:50.759 --> 00:31:51.620 if there are things 00:31:51.620 --> 00:31:52.039 they need to be 00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:52.840 held accountable for. 00:31:52.839 --> 00:31:54.839 On the other hand, 00:31:55.259 --> 00:31:57.419 if you are in relationship 00:31:57.419 --> 00:31:58.199 with someone 00:31:58.199 --> 00:31:59.039 who you think 00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:00.299 is not reciprocating, 00:32:00.959 --> 00:32:01.359 you say, 00:32:01.439 --> 00:32:02.119 I'm doing all of this 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:02.459 for them. 00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:03.439 I feel like I constantly 00:32:03.439 --> 00:32:04.079 put them first. 00:32:04.139 --> 00:32:05.220 I've constantly put my stuff 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:05.699 to the side. 00:32:05.919 --> 00:32:06.899 I'm constantly making sure 00:32:06.899 --> 00:32:07.339 they're okay. 00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:08.659 And they never reciprocate. 00:32:09.199 --> 00:32:09.959 They're just happy 00:32:09.959 --> 00:32:10.599 for me to do that. 00:32:10.639 --> 00:32:11.039 I feel like they're 00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:12.099 taking advantage of me. 00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:13.240 That happens. 00:32:13.399 --> 00:32:14.299 I know it happens. 00:32:14.299 --> 00:32:16.899 On the other hand, 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:18.099 there is someone 00:32:18.099 --> 00:32:19.000 who understands 00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:19.899 what that's like 00:32:19.899 --> 00:32:22.440 better than anyone 00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:23.279 else in existence. 00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:26.740 Jesus Christ knows 00:32:26.740 --> 00:32:28.139 better than anyone 00:32:28.139 --> 00:32:29.539 what it's like 00:32:29.539 --> 00:32:30.839 to lay his life down, 00:32:31.460 --> 00:32:33.379 to love and to serve people 00:32:33.379 --> 00:32:34.899 who refuse to love 00:32:34.899 --> 00:32:36.059 and serve him in return. 00:32:37.059 --> 00:32:37.740 In other words, 00:32:37.799 --> 00:32:38.639 he knows what it's like 00:32:38.639 --> 00:32:39.659 to love and serve 00:32:39.659 --> 00:32:41.200 people like me, 00:32:42.379 --> 00:32:43.399 people like us, 00:32:44.299 --> 00:32:46.519 but what we see in Jesus 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:48.819 and what the gospel tells us 00:32:48.819 --> 00:32:51.559 is that that does not stop him 00:32:51.559 --> 00:32:52.899 from pouring his life 00:32:52.899 --> 00:32:54.240 out for us. 00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:55.200 In fact, 00:32:55.259 --> 00:32:56.399 it's the very reason 00:32:56.399 --> 00:32:57.099 he does it. 00:32:57.819 --> 00:32:59.359 He knows the only thing 00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:00.480 that will ever change 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:01.419 people like us, 00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:02.859 help us become more loving, 00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:04.379 help us become more serving, 00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:06.659 is for him to pour his life 00:33:06.659 --> 00:33:08.000 into ours. 00:33:08.659 --> 00:33:09.619 And when you begin 00:33:09.619 --> 00:33:11.000 to realize the depth 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:12.200 of Jesus' commitment 00:33:12.200 --> 00:33:13.079 to love you 00:33:13.079 --> 00:33:14.519 and to serve you 00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:15.179 and to become 00:33:15.179 --> 00:33:16.399 a servant for you, 00:33:17.079 --> 00:33:18.519 even in the face 00:33:18.519 --> 00:33:19.519 of your rebellion 00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:20.359 against him, 00:33:21.119 --> 00:33:22.720 that humbles you. 00:33:22.899 --> 00:33:25.019 That softens your heart. 00:33:25.460 --> 00:33:26.899 It strengthens you 00:33:26.899 --> 00:33:27.599 to love 00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:28.980 and to serve others 00:33:28.980 --> 00:33:30.119 in your life, 00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:32.399 not for their sake necessarily, 00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:34.319 but for Jesus' sake. 00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:36.539 As Christians, 00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:37.299 we are called 00:33:37.299 --> 00:33:38.259 to treat people 00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:39.699 not the way 00:33:39.699 --> 00:33:40.899 they treat us. 00:33:40.900 --> 00:33:42.500 We are not called 00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:43.220 to treat people 00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:44.480 the way they treat us. 00:33:45.280 --> 00:33:46.220 We are called 00:33:46.220 --> 00:33:47.060 to treat people 00:33:47.060 --> 00:33:48.620 the way Jesus 00:33:48.620 --> 00:33:49.940 treats us. 00:33:50.980 --> 00:33:51.720 Let's pray. 00:33:55.340 --> 00:33:55.860 Lord, 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:57.740 may these truths 00:33:57.740 --> 00:33:58.660 in your Scripture 00:33:58.660 --> 00:33:59.920 do their work in us, 00:34:00.019 --> 00:34:01.120 and may your Spirit 00:34:01.120 --> 00:34:02.120 do in us 00:34:02.120 --> 00:34:03.920 what no mere words 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:04.400 can do. 00:34:05.080 --> 00:34:05.540 Lord, 00:34:05.539 --> 00:34:06.299 we desire 00:34:06.299 --> 00:34:06.980 to be 00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:08.360 your people, 00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.079 and that your mark 00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:11.059 would be on us, 00:34:11.559 --> 00:34:13.059 and that your life 00:34:13.059 --> 00:34:13.539 in us 00:34:13.539 --> 00:34:14.519 would be evident 00:34:14.519 --> 00:34:16.119 because our relationships 00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:17.619 look so different 00:34:17.619 --> 00:34:19.079 from the other kinds 00:34:19.079 --> 00:34:19.659 of relationships 00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:20.719 we see in the world. 00:34:21.420 --> 00:34:21.659 Lord, 00:34:21.739 --> 00:34:23.219 we long for the way 00:34:23.219 --> 00:34:24.460 we love one another 00:34:24.460 --> 00:34:27.480 as in marriage, 00:34:27.739 --> 00:34:27.940 Lord, 00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:29.079 in friendship, 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:30.300 Lord, 00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:31.659 between parents 00:34:31.659 --> 00:34:32.579 and children, 00:34:33.379 --> 00:34:33.599 Lord, 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.299 on ministry teams 00:34:35.299 --> 00:34:36.319 that we serve on, 00:34:36.599 --> 00:34:36.779 Lord, 00:34:36.859 --> 00:34:37.879 with our neighbors, 00:34:38.799 --> 00:34:39.039 Lord, 00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:40.699 in our workplace 00:34:40.699 --> 00:34:41.460 relationships, 00:34:41.839 --> 00:34:41.940 Lord, 00:34:42.019 --> 00:34:43.159 the way we respond 00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:44.199 to angry, 00:34:44.359 --> 00:34:45.859 unjust bosses, 00:34:46.219 --> 00:34:46.359 Lord, 00:34:46.420 --> 00:34:47.460 the way we respond 00:34:47.460 --> 00:34:48.000 to people 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:49.599 who criticize us 00:34:49.599 --> 00:34:50.440 or mistreat us, 00:34:50.579 --> 00:34:50.739 Lord. 00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:52.079 In all these ways, 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:52.839 we pray that we would 00:34:52.839 --> 00:34:54.199 put your glory 00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:54.859 on display, 00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:56.539 and we pray 00:34:56.539 --> 00:34:57.739 that as we do this, 00:34:57.799 --> 00:34:58.559 we would open ourselves 00:34:58.559 --> 00:34:59.359 up to your Spirit, 00:34:59.360 --> 00:35:01.000 and then as we are 00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:01.900 filled by your Spirit, 00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:02.720 that that would become 00:35:02.720 --> 00:35:03.280 the motivation 00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:04.579 for us to do this 00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:05.019 even more. 00:35:05.860 --> 00:35:06.820 We pray for more 00:35:06.820 --> 00:35:07.360 of your Spirit 00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:07.720 in us, 00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:07.960 Lord. 00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:09.860 Help us align 00:35:09.860 --> 00:35:11.160 the sails of our hearts 00:35:11.160 --> 00:35:13.099 to receive you fully. 00:35:13.780 --> 00:35:14.360 We pray this 00:35:14.360 --> 00:35:15.200 in Jesus' name. 00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:15.660 Amen.