He's my sunshine in the morning.
He's my fireworks at the end of the day.
He's the warmest chord I ever heard.
! Play that warm chord, play and stay, baby.
We don't need no piece of paper from the City Hall,
keeping us tied and true.
There's some of the lyrics from the song My Old Man,
released in 1971 in the album Blue by Johnny Mitchell.
The song was written by her very soon after her divorce
of her first marriage.
And the song was written about her new partner
living together in California, a guy named Graham Nash,
another musician.
And the song reflects their choice as a couple
to live together, bound together by a strong,
emotional passion and love for one another, connection,
rather than being bound together through legal marriage.
And so the words, we don't need a piece of paper
from City Hall to keep us together and true.
In other words, to keep our romance true.
And so that relationship lasted less than two years.
And she's famous for the multiple, multiple relationships
she had and failed relationships.
So if you've just joined us, we're partway through,
as Asha said, this series on what the Bible teaches
about marriage.
It's for everyone, whether you're married or whether you're not.
Ephesians 5, 21 to 33 is our text that we're using
throughout the term.
It's the longest, most famous, and most controversial passage
in the Bible about marriage.
What we've seen so far in the first two,
and we're building and building and building
throughout the course of this series,
is that the institution of marriage was invented by God
to be a picture to represent, if you like,
the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church.
And so there are things about the gospel,
things about the good news of Jesus Christ
that we would not know without the human institution,
the institution of marriage.
And there are things we would not know about marriage
were it not for the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.
That was the first week, and then we saw last week
that fundamentally that self-centeredness is the main problem
in every marriage and why we need the power of God's Spirit
in order to be selfless and how being selfless,
actually living a life of selflessness,
is in fact in line with God's design for humanity
because it reflects ultimate reality in God
and who God is, and we're being made in his image.
And so while selflessness feels entirely unnatural,
it's because of sin.
And so we're building on those two,
and we're now unpacking today
what therefore is the meaning of marriage
according to the Bible.
And so there's the three points.
It's on the St. Paul's app if you've got the app
and you can take some notes as you cruise along.
So first of all, marriage, law or love.
The biblical meaning of marriage, verse 31,
it's in there.
For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.
Now Paul is quoting there Genesis 2.24,
which we saw in the first message in this series.
It's the first ever marriage ceremony,
and it's officiated by God.
God brings the man and the woman together,
he officiates the coming together in marriage.
And the meaning of marriage,
from a biblical perspective,
is captured in that term,
united to his wife.
Now that's a modern translation, if you like,
a version of a much more of an archaic English term,
but the archaic English term is much stronger
than united to his wife,
and it's much closer to what the Hebrew verb is
in Genesis 2.
It's the word cleaving.
Cleaving.
A man will cleave to his wife.
And so the Hebrew verb literally means
to be glued to something.
To be glued to something.
Elsewhere in the Bible,
the word cleave means to unite to someone
through a covenant.
And a covenant, in biblical terms,
a covenant is a public,
binding, legal contract between two parties.
And the Bible defines marriage
as a covenant relationship.
A binding, legal, public contract
between two parties.
And every Old Testament covenant
has four elements to it.
Firstly, the parties associated with the covenant
are identified.
Secondly, the stipulations of the covenant
are stated.
What are the ground rules, if you like?
Every contract has a set of conditions,
obligations, duties, and regulations
between the parties.
The third thing is,
there's a list of blessings and curses
depending on your faithfulness or unfaithfulness
to those duties and obligations and regulations.
And fourthly, there are public vows,
declarations, and signs given to each other
as signs of commitment.
And so, in various ways,
the parties would publicly agree to the covenant
in front of witnesses,
and then they would do things like exchange vows,
sorry, exchange sandals,
or something like that.
You know?
One of the main ways that covenants happen in the Bible,
particularly covenants with God and people,
were that there were sacrifices were made.
You know?
Animals were cut in half,
and they'd walk between the two animals,
that sort of stuff.
It's a little extreme nowadays,
and a little bit messy for wedding ceremonies.
Too much white, too much carpet,
that sort of stuff.
And so, we've gone for rings instead.
In the end, it doesn't really matter.
Now, you know, it doesn't really matter,
you know, whether you jump over a broom,
or you stump on a glass,
or you exchange rings.
What makes a covenant a covenant
is all of those elements together,
and primarily that it is a public declaration.
Public declaration.
The couple are standing in front of family,
friends, witnesses,
and they are publicly declaring.
There's no such thing as a covenant
in the back seat of a car.
At all.
There are covenants everywhere in the Bible,
covenants between human beings,
you know, horizontal covenants.
But the most prominent covenants
are the covenants that are,
if you like, vertical,
the covenants between God
and individuals,
or God and families,
or nations, communities.
And the marriage covenant,
as the Bible sees it,
is unique
because it has
very strong
aspects
of both horizontal
and vertical.
That's what makes it unique
as a covenant.
So Proverbs 2,
17,
describes a wayward wife
who has
left the partner
of her youth
and ignored
the covenant
she has
made before God.
In other words,
she's broken
relationship
with
her spouse
and
God.
The covenant
made between
a husband
and a wife
is done
before God
and therefore
with God
as well as
the spouse.
And to break faith
with your spouse
is to break faith
with God
at the same time.
Now,
I'm
assuming that
maybe
I should make this assumption
that you've been
to a wedding before
and
maybe
traditional,
if you like,
Christian weddings
are becoming
less and less
and less
in our society.
There are only
a small portion
nowadays
of weddings
in our society.
But
the biblical idea
of covenant
is reflected
in the traditional
wedding service
in that it has
both questions
and vows.
I'm not sure
if you've ever
noticed that before.
Let me just
take you through it
as a celebrant.
I
first of all
ask
the gathering
of people
that are there
whether there is
any
legal
reason
as to why
this marriage
should not proceed.
That's the first
question that's asked.
Not asking you
anyone got a personal
opinion about this
whether it should
happen or not.
It's a legal
reason.
And if someone
in case you don't
realise this
if someone
stands up
and says
I've got a
legal reason
why they
should not
get married
or I've got
a reason
why they
shouldn't
get married
and then
I've actually
at that point
got to stop
the service
I've got to
pull that
person aside
with
not the bride
and the groom
but with the
parents of the
groom
pull them
aside
and say
please explain
your legal
reason
why it
should not
proceed.
if they've
got no
legal reason
why it
shouldn't
proceed
I
then
ask
the
parents
would you
like at
this moment
to press
charges
and the
police get
called.
It's a
legal
ceremony.
So that's
the first
thing
and to
date
no one's
done that
by the
way
and then
I ask
the couple
a set
of questions
each
individually
the bride
and the
bridegroom
will you
take
to be
your spouse
to live
together
according
to God's
law
will you
give them
the honour
due to
them as
your spouse
and forsaking
all others
love and
protect them
as long
as your
spouse
shall live
and each
spouse
says I
will
hopefully
if they
don't we
don't proceed
now up to
this point
in the
service
they're not
facing each
other
they're facing
me
and
traditionally
the
father of
the bride
is normally
standing between
them still
last
hang on to
those last
moments
they're
actually
looking at
the minister
as I
ask them
the questions
because I
am not just
a witness
of their
promise
at this
point
I am
representing
God
and the
state
in this
legal
ceremony
and so
what happens
at the
very first
thing
is that
the couple
make a
promise
to God
before they
turn to
each other
and each
of them
gets to
hear
each other
stand up
before God
before their
families and
friends and
before the
authorities of
structures of
church and
state and
they swear
loyalty and
faithfulness
things to
the covenant
not to
each other
to the
covenant
and it's
not until
they've done
that do
they then
take one
another by
the hand
and stumble
through the
rest of it
and faint
and all
in the
presence of
God I
take you
to be my
husband and
wife to
have and
to hold
from this
day forward
for better
for worse
for rich
and poor
in sickness
and health
to love
and cherish
as long
as the
best shall
live
this is
my
solemn
vow
and promise
legal
declaration
now I've
been to a
few
secular
weddings
and they're
a little
bit different
I remember
one wedding
where the
celebrant said
everything
today is
about love
this whole
ceremony
our gathering
is a
celebration
of love
and I
went
in my mind
of course
yes and
no
actually
no
really it's
not what
we're gathered
here today
we're actually
here gathered
publicly for
a legal
service
that's why
we're gathered
and then I
noticed something
else
the couples
basically
express
because they
get to write
their own
vows
they basically
express
their current
love
for each
other
and it's
because I
currently love
you
I desire
to be with
you
in one
case
the promise
where the
couples
express
this is
what I
like
about
you
this is
what I
enjoy
being
with
you
and
then
and then
at the end
of it
was
the promise
was
I will
love
you
for
however
long
we
are
together
what the
hell
does that
mean
until tomorrow
morning
the next
day
I mean
until I
will love
you
and then
once we're
not together
I don't
need to
love you
or once
I fall
out of
love
I don't
need to
be with
you
anymore
there were
no words
through sickness
in health
richer or
poorer
until
one or
both of
us are
dead
now
traditionally
a wedding
is not
primarily
a celebration
of how
much you
love
or you
feel
loving
right now
that's
not it
wedding
vows
are not
a declaration
of present
love
they are
mutual
binding
promise
of future
love
current
love
I'm
assumed
it should
be assumed
I think
on the
day
in a
wedding
the couple
stand before
God
family
friends
the institutions
of state
and church
in a
Christian
one
and they
promise
to be
loving
faithful
and true
to their
spouse
in the
future
through
all the
ups and
downs
through
all the
ups and
downs
particularly
of internal
feelings
of whether
I feel
loving
or passionate
or not
and every
single
external
circumstance
in life
biblically
marriage
is a
covenant
relationship
that is
public
binding
and legal
people
it's not
the
building
it's not
the
service
it's not
the dress
it's not
the rings
that makes
a person
married
what makes
them married
is a
permanent
exclusive
public
legal
commitment
to share
all aspects
of their
life together
and the
marriage
is
official
the
moment
I say
I
declare
you
to be
husband
and
wife
on
behalf
of God
and the
state
did you
know
that you
can run
most of
a wedding
service
as a
celebrant
but you
cannot say
those words
legally
unless
you're
licensed
and the
moment
I declare
them to
be
married
they're
married
marriage
is
not a
five by
five
renewable
options
contract
even a
prenuptial
agreement
radically
cuts
into the
biblical
definition
of marriage
and the
Bible's
teaching
of marriage
is why
the Bible
says
that you
should not
give yourself
to someone
without
them giving
you this
kind of
commitment
or you
giving them
this kind
of commitment
that's why
the Bible's
teaching on
marriage
is really
on a
collision
course
with the
modern
mindset
the modern
concept
of covenant
it just
seems so
oppressive
to the
modern
person
and which
is why
the idea
of covenant
relationships
is almost
non-existence
in western
civilization
at the
moment
marriage
as discipline
as service
as commitment
as obligation
as accountability
is so
foreign
to
deeply
held
values
of
self
excuse me
self-fulfillment
and self
actualization
now if I
left it
there
you'd go
hang on
a bit
it sounds
very
mechanical
formal
where's the
passion
where's the
romance
where's the
love
and I
suppose
on one
level
this is
the main
thing
that many
secular
the modern
person
brings
to the
idea
of
marriage
it's
just
about
love
one
of the
most
widely
held
beliefs
in our
culture
today
is that
the
foundation
of
marriage
is
romantic
love
so you
can
you can
buy
any
number
of books
and go
to courses
and stuff
and articles
about how
to keep
the sparks
alive
in your
80s
and
in that
sense
romantic
love
as it's
described
in our
culture
is it's
a feeling
romantic
love
according to
our culture
is like a
ditch
you fall
into it
it's
passive
it's
subjective
it just
happens
to you
it just
sort of
came on
me
and there's
also wide
agreement
that
romantic
love
waxes
and wanes
and it
fades
over time
and then
you got
that
combined
with another
widely held
belief
that
romantic
love
and
sexual
fulfillment
are
absolutely
important
in order
to have
a long
and fulfilled
and happy
personal
existence
in other
words
sexual
expression
is
attached
to my
self
actualization
now those
two
convictions
that I
need to
have
romantic
love
to be
truly
me
and
express
that
sexually
but the
fact that
romantic
love
waxes
and wanes
marriage
is
just
in
with
those
two
ideas
so the
institution
of marriage
while we
think it's
declining
actually
isn't
what's
happening
is
people
are
cohabitating
up to
85%
I think
at the
moment
cohabitate
before
marriage
try
before
you
buy
kind
of
a
thing
and it's
because of
those
ideas
a married
man gave
me some
advice
not long
before
Nat
and I
are
married
he said
that over
the years
the partnership
in life
was still
there
but the
romance
and the
passion
it just
dies
off
but that's
okay
sort of
another
one
told me
that if
you put
a jelly
bean
in a
jar
every time
you had
sex
in the
first
year
of
marriage
and then
took one
out every
time you
had sex
after the
first year
of marriage
the jar
would never
become
empty
joke's
on him
I'm a
diabetic
I
have
jelly
beans
all
the
time
I'm
not
don't
read
any more
into that
than that
I'm
just
you see
what it's
saying
there is
the
modern
view
understands
love
as a
feeling
it's about
passion
it's about
something
that
happens
to me
I feel
romantic
passion
for you
and I
don't
need
a piece
of paper
to make
how I
feel
any better
and that
is absolutely
correct
if love
is about
romantic
passion
no piece
of paper
is going
to help
with that
for sure
but the
Bible sees
love
primarily
as much
about
giving
love
rather than
so much
as feeling
love
or receiving
love
love is
about giving
yourself to
another person
how much
you're willing
to lose
for the
sake of
another
person
how much
you're willing
to invest
in the
other
person
and in
that sense
when someone
says I
don't need
a piece
of paper
to show
you how
much
I
love
you
what
they
could
potentially
also
be
meaning
is
I
don't
love
you
enough
to give
myself
to you
completely
you see
the Bible
sees
marriage
as a
relationship
that is
far more
durable
and binding
and unconditional
than one
that is based
on mere
feeling
and affection
and at
the same
time
it sees
marriage
as far
more
intimate
and personal
than
merely
a
legal
business
relationship
that's
convenient
for
economic
gain
or something
like that
so the
Bible
actually
sees
marriage
as a
covenant
relationship
that has
a stunning
blend
of law
and love
and that's
what I want
to unpack
now
it was
British
philosopher
Bertrand
Russell
he made
an early
20th century
argument
for the
expression
of sexual
love
outside of
marriage
he said
it was
the preferred
option
if you like
he was
an atheist
and he
argued
that sexual
activity
should be
marked
and therefore
sexual activity
should be
marked
by intense
passion
and romantic
delight
and that
can flourish
to quote
him
as long
as it
is free
and spontaneous
he said
that romantic
passion
and love
and sex
tends to be
killed
by the
thought
of duty
it's an
obligation
and that
thinking
from Bertrand
Russell
is
considered
that makes
a lot of
sense
in our
day and
age
right now
and the
Bible
fundamentally
disagrees
with that
the Bible
sees
love
needs
a
framework
of a
binding
obligation
to make
it fully
what it
should be
it's a
relationship
that is
more
intimate
because
it is
legal
and that
actually
makes
common
sense
too
to make
a
for example
to make
a binding
public vow
love
commitment
to give
yourself
to another
person
be committed
to that
person
through
every single
thing that
life will
throw at
you
is an
enormous
act of
love
in itself
an enormous
act of
love
the
willingness
to make
that kind
of commitment
actually enhances
love
another way
and it
builds on
this
is why
marriage is
more intimate
because it
is legally
binding
is the
security
that it
provides
you see
when
if you
can wind
your mind
back for
those who
have been
married for
a while
but when
dating
or for
instance
if you're
a couple
living
together
what you
have to
do in
that moment
in that
relationship
at that
stage
is you
have to
constantly
prove
your value
daily
to your
partner
by impressing
and enticing
and so the
relationship
at that
point
is really
a consumer
orientated
relationship
I need
to give
you a
cost benefit
analysis
as to why
we should
stay together
you see
when we
first fall
in love
we think
we love
that person
but we
actually
don't
really
it takes
years
to truly
love
a person
what
happens
when we
fall into
the ditch
of love
and we
feel love
we fall
in love
with our
idea
of that
person
that's what
we fall
in love
with
there is
an emotional
high that
comes to
us
when someone
thinks that
we're so
wonderful
and we're
so beautiful
or so
handsome
or so
talented
or so
funny
and that
is part
of what
fuels
the early
passion
and the
electricity
of falling
in love
the other
side of
this
is that
the other
person
who you
think is
captivated
by you
does not
really know
you either
and that's
somewhat more
troubling
underneath
and which is
why we have
to try so
hard
we have to
put on our
best versions
of ourselves
there are
things about
oneself
that
about
ourselves
that we're
ashamed of
that we're
afraid of
and we
could not
possibly allow
those things
to come out
at this
point
otherwise
it'll be
over
and we
don't let
the other
person see
our flaws
because
fundamentally
what our
hearts
can't cope
with
is the
possibility
of rejection
because we
want love
is what
we want
even
deeper
still
we can't
reveal
those parts
of our
character
that we
can't in
fact see
ourselves
and which
will only be
revealed to
us in the
course
of a
long
marriage
so the
dilemma
is this
the
person
doesn't
really
know
us
and
therefore
doesn't
really
love
us
not yet
anyway
what
they
love
is
their
version
of
us
what
we
think
of
as
being
head
over
heels
in
love
is
in
large
part
a
gusto
of
ego
gratification
and it's
not
until
you've
been
together
for a
period
of
time
where
the
all the
veils
and the
barriers
start to
be removed
and they
start to
see you
over
time
that
the
real
you
comes
out
and the
challenges
start
so it's
not in
your notes
but did
you know
that
75%
of couples
who cohabitate
before marriage
last
less than
five years
last
less than
five years
75%
the other
25%
get married
and
their
divorce
rate
is
slightly
higher
than those
who don't
cohabitate
before
marriage
cohabitation
before
marriage
increases
the
likelihood
of
divorce
I'll
get to
that
in a
moment
unbeknownst
to most
people
that's
actual
statistic
fact
did you
know
that
couples
who
marry
their
unhappiness
levels
before
marriage
exactly
the
same
as
a
couple
who
cohabitate
before
marriage
however
every
couple
that
describes
their
marriage
as
unhappy
if they
stick
with
it
those
same
two
thirds
of those
relationships
will
self
describe
as
happy
beyond
the
six
year
mark
there
is
nothing
quite
like
the
profound
satisfaction
of being
known
and
loved
when
over
many
years
someone
has
seen
us
at
our
worst
and
knows
our
strengths
and
our
flaws
and
still
commits
wholly
to
you
that
is
deeply
satisfying
to
be
loved
but
not
known
is
gratifying
thrilling
but
it's
superficial
to
be
known
and
not
loved
that
is
our
greatest
fear
but
to
be
fully
known
and
fully
loved
is
the
deepest
of
all
loves
and
that's
what
every
human
heart
needs
more
than
anything
else
and
that
kind
of
love
is
not
killed
by
legal
commitment
legal
commitment
in fact
provides
the
environment
for
that
love
to
grow
in
his
book
the
marriage
builder
Larry
crab
recounts
an
experience
in
fact
as
he
was
writing
the
book
he's
in
a
plane
and
he
you
know
notepad
in
front
of
him
and
the
airline
steward
notice
that
something
about
marriage
and
she
asked
what
he
was
doing
told
he
was
writing
a
book
on
marriage
and
her
words
to
him
were
I
really
believe
in
marriage
after
six
years
of
living
with
a
man
I
decided
that
I
wanted
to
be
married
since
the
guy
I
was
living
with
liked
our
no
strings
attached
agrangement
I
found
somebody
else
who
was
willing
to
tie
the
knot
and
we
got
married
two
months
ago
I
asked
her
why
she
preferred
a
marriage
commitment
to
merely
living
together
she
said
I
think
it's
the
commitment
part
I
wanted
I
married
a
man
who
seems
to be
really
committed
to
loving
me
and
working
on
our
relationship
I
never
felt
secure
enough
to
really
open
up
and
try
to
get
close
with
a
man
who
wouldn't
make
any
promises
that
is
the
value
of
the
marriage
covenant
the
legal
bond
of
marriage
creates
a
space
for
security
where
we
can
open
up
and
reveal
our
true
selves
we
can
be
vulnerable
no
longer
having
to
keep
up
facades
we
don't
have
to
keep
selling
ourselves
we
can
lay
the
last
layer
of
our
defenses
down
and
be
completely
naked
not
just
physically
but
in a
much
deeper
way
of
a
nakedness
of
heart
and
soul
of
deep
vulnerability
with
one
another
you
see
marriage
actually
enhances
romantic
love
it
doesn't
kill
it
by
nature
as
Diogenes
Allen
put it
the
ethical
!
commitment
to
another
person
in
marriage
is
precisely
what
enables
the
spontaneity
of
romantic
love
to
achieve
the
stability
and
longevity
that
it
longs
for
but
is
unable
to
provide
by
itself
in
other
words
romantic
love
cannot
provide
the
stability
and
the
longevity
that
every
heart
desires
it
is
the
covenantal
commitment
that
enables
married
people
to
become
people
who
love
each
other
what
does
that
look
like
in
practice
here
it
is
if
our
this is my
yeah
there we
go
if
our
definition
of
love
stresses
affectionate
feelings
more than
unselfish
actions
we
will
in
fact
cripple
our
ability
to
maintain
and
grow
a
great
marriage
let
alone
any
love
relationship
including
parenting
if
however
we
stress
the
action
of
love
over
the
feeling
we
enhance
and
establish
the
feelings
of
love
that
is
the
crucial
secret
of a
life
of
love
and
of a
great
marriage
and
so
Ephesians
5
28
Paul
says
husbands
ought to
love
their
wives
love
their
wives
in
verse
25
but
here
he
uses
a
verb
that
very
strongly
stresses
obligation
he
commands
husbands
to
love
their
wives
not
to
feel
love
for
your
wife
but
to
love
that's
because
you
cannot
command
an
emotion
you
can't
command
a
feeling
you
can
only
command
an
obligation
you
can
only
command
an
action
and
Paul
here
is
commanding
acts
of
love
he
doesn't
care
how
you
feel
on
a
given
day
he
doesn't
care
whether
the
heart's
racing
and
the
blood's
flowing
he
says
you
must
love
your
wives
Action!
and
when
we
do
we
give
love
a
chance
I
don't
think
many
have
made
this
point
much
clearer
and
better
than
C.S.
Lewis
he
captures
it a
bit
in
his
book
Mere
Christianity
but
during
World War
II
he
did
a
whole
heap
of
broadcasts
on
BBC
radio
and
he
made
the
point
that
in
one
of
those
broadcasts
that
despite
feelings
of
indifference
and
even
contempt
for
another
person
you
can
in
fact
change
your
heart
over
the
long
haul
through
your
actions
of
love
towards
that
person
he
says
though
natural
likings
should
normally
be
encouraged
it
would
be
quite
wrong
to
think
that
the
way
to
become
loving
is
to
sit
trying
to
manufacture
affectionate
feelings
the
rule
for
all
of
us
is
perfectly
simple
do
not
waste
time
bothering
whether
you
love
your
neighbour
act
as if
you
do
as
soon
as
we
do
this
we
find
one
of
the
great
secrets
when
you
are
behaving
as
if
you
loved
someone
you
will
presently
come
to
love
them
if
you
injure
someone
you
dislike
you
will
find
yourself
disliking
them
more
he
made
the
point
controversially
in
world
war
ii
he
said
the
nazis
did
not
begin
did
not
begin
with
feelings
of
hatred
towards
the
jews
they
had
they
began
with
actions
of
hatred
towards
the
jews
which
grew
more
in
feelings
towards
the
jews
which
grew
more
in
actions
of
hatred
towards
the
jews
which
grew
even
more
in
despising
them
and
calling
them
less
than
human
beings
the
actions
shape
the
heart
and
the
heart
shape
the
actions
our
culture
says
that
feelings
of
love
are
the
basis
for
actions
of
love
and
that
can
be
true
but
it
is
true
to
say
that
actions
of
love
can
lead
consistently
to
feelings
of
love
between
two
people
must
not
be
identified
simply
with
emotion
or
simply
with
dutiful
action
because
the
marriage
covenant
is a
complex
mixture
of both
but it
is the
action
of love
husbands
wives
the
unmarried
it
is the
actions
of
love
that
you
have
control
over
you
don't
fall
into
the
ditch
of
the
actions
of
love
you
determine
to
make
them
commit
to
them
you
don't
have
control
over
your
feelings
of
love
and so
in the
marriage
ceremony
we
promise
to
maintain
the
actions
of
love
every
day
so
how
do we
do
that
how
do we
do
that
when
we
don't
feel
like
it
notice
again
what
he
says
husbands
love
your
this is
verse
25
husbands
love
your
wives
as
Christ
loved
the
church
and
gave
himself
up
for
her
Paul
doesn't
just
say
look
be
all
stoic
pull
up
your
socks
and
just
get
on
with
actions
of
love
just
do
the
actions
he
says
think
while
you
do
think
while
you
do
think
this
Jesus
is
on
the
cross
dying
for
you
as
the
atonal
death
atoning
for
your
sin
and
it
was
totally
unconditional
it
is
the
ultimate
act
of
love
and
on
the
cross
he
didn't
he
didn't
say
I'm
not
gonna
love
you
by
giving
my
life
for
your
life
because
frankly
you
are
you
don't
deserve
it
you
are
so
unattractive
to
me
you
don't
love
me
you're
not
my
body
type
you
put on
a few
pounds
you got a few
wrinkles
he
was
in
agony
and
he
looked
down
at
humanity
he
looked
down
at
you
he
looked
down
at
me
he
looked
down
at
you
husband
and
you
wife
and
looked
down
on
me
and
he
sees
us
denying
him
and
abandoning
him
and
rejecting
him
and
betraying
him
and
in
the
greatest
act
of
love
in
history
he
surrendered
his
life
he
stayed
even
while they
cursed
him
on the
cross
he
stayed
and
he
loved
he
said
father
forgive
them
they
don't
know
what
they're
doing
he
stayed
and
he
loved
not
because
we
were
lovely
to
him
but
he
stayed
to
make
us
lovely
and
that
is
the
power
to
keep
you
need
to
be
thinking
about
not
just
acting
but
thinking
about
and
pushing
that
down
into
your
hearts
to
keep
loving
your
spouse
even
when
you
think
they
are
unlovable
it
is
only
the
gospel
speaking
into
our
hearts
like
that
which
will give
us
the
power
to
fulfill
the
promises
and to
stay
that
have