WEBVTT

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 He's my sunshine in the morning.

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 He's my fireworks at the end of the day.

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 He's the warmest chord I ever heard.

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! Play that warm chord, play and stay, baby.

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 We don't need no piece of paper from the City Hall,

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 keeping us tied and true.

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 There's some of the lyrics from the song My Old Man,

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 released in 1971 in the album Blue by Johnny Mitchell.

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 The song was written by her very soon after her divorce

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 of her first marriage.

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 And the song was written about her new partner

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 living together in California, a guy named Graham Nash,

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 another musician.

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 And the song reflects their choice as a couple

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 to live together, bound together by a strong,

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 emotional passion and love for one another, connection,

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 rather than being bound together through legal marriage.

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 And so the words, we don't need a piece of paper

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 from City Hall to keep us together and true.

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 In other words, to keep our romance true.

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 And so that relationship lasted less than two years.

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 And she's famous for the multiple, multiple relationships

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 she had and failed relationships.

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 So if you've just joined us, we're partway through,

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 as Asha said, this series on what the Bible teaches

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 about marriage.

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 It's for everyone, whether you're married or whether you're not.

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 Ephesians 5, 21 to 33 is our text that we're using

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 throughout the term.

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 It's the longest, most famous, and most controversial passage

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 in the Bible about marriage.

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 What we've seen so far in the first two,

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 and we're building and building and building

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 throughout the course of this series,

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 is that the institution of marriage was invented by God

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 to be a picture to represent, if you like,

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 the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church.

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 And so there are things about the gospel,

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 things about the good news of Jesus Christ

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 that we would not know without the human institution,

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 the institution of marriage.

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 And there are things we would not know about marriage

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 were it not for the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.

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 That was the first week, and then we saw last week

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 that fundamentally that self-centeredness is the main problem

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 in every marriage and why we need the power of God's Spirit

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 in order to be selfless and how being selfless,

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 actually living a life of selflessness,

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 is in fact in line with God's design for humanity

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 because it reflects ultimate reality in God

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 and who God is, and we're being made in his image.

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 And so while selflessness feels entirely unnatural,

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 it's because of sin.

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 And so we're building on those two,

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 and we're now unpacking today

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 what therefore is the meaning of marriage

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 according to the Bible.

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 And so there's the three points.

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 It's on the St. Paul's app if you've got the app

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 and you can take some notes as you cruise along.

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 So first of all, marriage, law or love.

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 The biblical meaning of marriage, verse 31,

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 it's in there.

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 For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother

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 and be united to his wife,

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 and the two will become one flesh.

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 Now Paul is quoting there Genesis 2.24,

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 which we saw in the first message in this series.

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 It's the first ever marriage ceremony,

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 and it's officiated by God.

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 God brings the man and the woman together,

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 he officiates the coming together in marriage.

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 And the meaning of marriage,

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 from a biblical perspective,

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 is captured in that term,

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 united to his wife.

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 united to his wife.

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 Now that's a modern translation, if you like,

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 a version of a much more of an archaic English term,

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 but the archaic English term is much stronger

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 than united to his wife,

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 and it's much closer to what the Hebrew verb is

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 in Genesis 2.

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 It's the word cleaving.

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 Cleaving.

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 A man will cleave to his wife.

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 And so the Hebrew verb literally means

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 to be glued to something.

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 To be glued to something.

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 Elsewhere in the Bible,

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 the word cleave means to unite to someone

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 through a covenant.

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 And a covenant, in biblical terms,

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 a covenant is a public,

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 binding, legal contract between two parties.

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 And the Bible defines marriage

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 as a covenant relationship.

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 A binding, legal, public contract

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 between two parties.

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 And every Old Testament covenant

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 has four elements to it.

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 Firstly, the parties associated with the covenant

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 are identified.

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 Secondly, the stipulations of the covenant

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 are stated.

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 What are the ground rules, if you like?

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 Every contract has a set of conditions,

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 obligations, duties, and regulations

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 between the parties.

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 The third thing is,

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 there's a list of blessings and curses

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 depending on your faithfulness or unfaithfulness

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 to those duties and obligations and regulations.

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 And fourthly, there are public vows,

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 declarations, and signs given to each other

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 as signs of commitment.

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 And so, in various ways,

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 the parties would publicly agree to the covenant

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 in front of witnesses,

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 and then they would do things like exchange vows,

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 sorry, exchange sandals,

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 or something like that.

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 You know?

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 One of the main ways that covenants happen in the Bible,

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 particularly covenants with God and people,

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 were that there were sacrifices were made.

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 You know?

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 Animals were cut in half,

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 and they'd walk between the two animals,

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 that sort of stuff.

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 It's a little extreme nowadays,

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 and a little bit messy for wedding ceremonies.

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 Too much white, too much carpet,

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 that sort of stuff.

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 And so, we've gone for rings instead.

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 In the end, it doesn't really matter.

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 Now, you know, it doesn't really matter,

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 you know, whether you jump over a broom,

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 or you stump on a glass,

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 or you exchange rings.

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 What makes a covenant a covenant

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 is all of those elements together,

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 and primarily that it is a public declaration.

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 Public declaration.

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 The couple are standing in front of family,

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 friends, witnesses,

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 and they are publicly declaring.

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 There's no such thing as a covenant

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 in the back seat of a car.

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 At all.

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 There are covenants everywhere in the Bible,

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 covenants between human beings,

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 you know, horizontal covenants.

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 But the most prominent covenants

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 are the covenants that are,

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 if you like, vertical,

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 the covenants between God

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 and individuals,

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 or God and families,

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 or nations, communities.

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 And the marriage covenant,

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 as the Bible sees it,

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 is unique

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 because it has

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 very strong

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 aspects

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 of both horizontal

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 and vertical.

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 That's what makes it unique

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 as a covenant.

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 So Proverbs 2,

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 17,

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 describes a wayward wife

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 who has

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 left the partner

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 of her youth

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 and ignored

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 the covenant

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 she has

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 made before God.

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 In other words,

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 she's broken

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 relationship

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 with

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 her spouse

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 and

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 God.

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 The covenant

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 made between

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 a husband

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 and a wife

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 is done

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 before God

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 and therefore

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 with God

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 as well as

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 the spouse.

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 And to break faith

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 with your spouse

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 is to break faith

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 with God

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 at the same time.

00:09:42.740 --> 00:09:42.980
 Now,

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 I'm

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 assuming that

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 maybe

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 I should make this assumption

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 that you've been

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 to a wedding before

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 and

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 maybe

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 traditional,

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 if you like,

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 Christian weddings

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 are becoming

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 less and less

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 and less

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 in our society.

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 There are only

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 a small portion

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 nowadays

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 of weddings

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 in our society.

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 But

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 the biblical idea

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 of covenant

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 is reflected

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 in the traditional

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 wedding service

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 in that it has

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 both questions

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 and vows.

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 I'm not sure

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 if you've ever

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 noticed that before.

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 Let me just

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 take you through it

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 as a celebrant.

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 I

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 first of all

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 ask

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 the gathering

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 of people

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 that are there

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 whether there is

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 any

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 legal

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 reason

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 as to why

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 this marriage

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 should not proceed.

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 That's the first

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 question that's asked.

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 Not asking you

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 anyone got a personal

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 opinion about this

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 whether it should

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 happen or not.

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 It's a legal

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 reason.

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 And if someone

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 in case you don't

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 realise this

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 if someone

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 stands up

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 and says

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 I've got a

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 legal reason

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 why they

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 should not

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 get married

00:10:53.740 --> 00:10:54.179
 or I've got

00:10:54.179 --> 00:10:54.579
 a reason

00:10:54.579 --> 00:10:54.919
 why they

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 shouldn't

00:10:55.059 --> 00:10:55.539
 get married

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 and then

00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:57.319
 I've actually

00:10:57.319 --> 00:10:57.779
 at that point

00:10:57.779 --> 00:10:58.459
 got to stop

00:10:58.459 --> 00:10:58.939
 the service

00:10:58.939 --> 00:10:59.240
 I've got to

00:10:59.240 --> 00:10:59.620
 pull that

00:10:59.620 --> 00:11:00.959
 person aside

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 with

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 not the bride

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 and the groom

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 but with the

00:11:04.959 --> 00:11:05.719
 parents of the

00:11:05.719 --> 00:11:06.079
 groom

00:11:06.079 --> 00:11:06.919
 pull them

00:11:06.919 --> 00:11:07.419
 aside

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 and say

00:11:08.439 --> 00:11:09.519
 please explain

00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:10.099
 your legal

00:11:10.099 --> 00:11:10.679
 reason

00:11:10.679 --> 00:11:11.579
 why it

00:11:11.579 --> 00:11:11.919
 should not

00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:12.439
 proceed.

00:11:12.440 --> 00:11:15.380
 if they've

00:11:15.380 --> 00:11:16.140
 got no

00:11:16.140 --> 00:11:17.340
 legal reason

00:11:17.340 --> 00:11:17.780
 why it

00:11:17.780 --> 00:11:18.000
 shouldn't

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 proceed

00:11:18.540 --> 00:11:19.380
 I

00:11:19.380 --> 00:11:19.740
 then

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 ask

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 the

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 parents

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 would you

00:11:23.180 --> 00:11:23.680
 like at

00:11:23.680 --> 00:11:24.260
 this moment

00:11:24.260 --> 00:11:24.800
 to press

00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:25.380
 charges

00:11:25.380 --> 00:11:27.700
 and the

00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:28.280
 police get

00:11:28.280 --> 00:11:28.660
 called.

00:11:31.660 --> 00:11:32.440
 It's a

00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:32.720
 legal

00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:33.280
 ceremony.

00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:38.699
 So that's

00:11:38.699 --> 00:11:39.039
 the first

00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:39.240
 thing

00:11:39.240 --> 00:11:40.120
 and to

00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:40.439
 date

00:11:40.439 --> 00:11:40.919
 no one's

00:11:40.919 --> 00:11:41.339
 done that

00:11:41.339 --> 00:11:41.679
 by the

00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:41.959
 way

00:11:41.959 --> 00:11:46.519
 and then

00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:47.799
 I ask

00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:48.839
 the couple

00:11:48.839 --> 00:11:52.039
 a set

00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:52.860
 of questions

00:11:52.860 --> 00:11:53.799
 each

00:11:53.799 --> 00:11:54.559
 individually

00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:54.919
 the bride

00:11:54.919 --> 00:11:55.079
 and the

00:11:55.079 --> 00:11:55.539
 bridegroom

00:11:55.539 --> 00:11:56.299
 will you

00:11:56.299 --> 00:11:56.740
 take

00:11:56.740 --> 00:11:57.720
 to be

00:11:57.720 --> 00:11:58.480
 your spouse

00:11:58.480 --> 00:11:59.220
 to live

00:11:59.220 --> 00:11:59.579
 together

00:11:59.579 --> 00:12:00.059
 according

00:12:00.059 --> 00:12:00.579
 to God's

00:12:00.579 --> 00:12:00.759
 law

00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:01.139
 will you

00:12:01.139 --> 00:12:01.559
 give them

00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:01.899
 the honour

00:12:01.899 --> 00:12:02.319
 due to

00:12:02.319 --> 00:12:02.679
 them as

00:12:02.679 --> 00:12:03.199
 your spouse

00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:03.980
 and forsaking

00:12:03.980 --> 00:12:04.560
 all others

00:12:04.560 --> 00:12:04.879
 love and

00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:05.400
 protect them

00:12:05.400 --> 00:12:05.960
 as long

00:12:05.960 --> 00:12:06.160
 as your

00:12:06.160 --> 00:12:06.340
 spouse

00:12:06.340 --> 00:12:06.820
 shall live

00:12:06.820 --> 00:12:07.620
 and each

00:12:07.620 --> 00:12:07.900
 spouse

00:12:07.900 --> 00:12:08.720
 says I

00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:09.060
 will

00:12:09.060 --> 00:12:10.759
 hopefully

00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:11.879
 if they

00:12:11.879 --> 00:12:12.420
 don't we

00:12:12.420 --> 00:12:13.080
 don't proceed

00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:15.120
 now up to

00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:15.759
 this point

00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:16.200
 in the

00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:16.700
 service

00:12:16.700 --> 00:12:17.960
 they're not

00:12:17.960 --> 00:12:18.680
 facing each

00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:18.980
 other

00:12:18.980 --> 00:12:21.600
 they're facing

00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:22.020
 me

00:12:22.020 --> 00:12:25.620
 and

00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:26.180
 traditionally

00:12:26.180 --> 00:12:26.680
 the

00:12:26.680 --> 00:12:27.720
 father of

00:12:27.720 --> 00:12:28.140
 the bride

00:12:28.140 --> 00:12:29.340
 is normally

00:12:29.340 --> 00:12:30.120
 standing between

00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:30.820
 them still

00:12:30.820 --> 00:12:31.200
 last

00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:32.040
 hang on to

00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:32.620
 those last

00:12:32.620 --> 00:12:33.220
 moments

00:12:33.220 --> 00:12:36.600
 they're

00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:36.820
 actually

00:12:36.820 --> 00:12:37.720
 looking at

00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:38.320
 the minister

00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:40.139
 as I

00:12:40.139 --> 00:12:40.759
 ask them

00:12:40.759 --> 00:12:41.700
 the questions

00:12:41.700 --> 00:12:43.000
 because I

00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:43.799
 am not just

00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:44.299
 a witness

00:12:44.299 --> 00:12:45.139
 of their

00:12:45.139 --> 00:12:46.519
 promise

00:12:46.519 --> 00:12:47.080
 at this

00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:47.519
 point

00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:49.740
 I am

00:12:49.740 --> 00:12:50.220
 representing

00:12:50.220 --> 00:12:51.000
 God

00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:51.779
 and the

00:12:51.779 --> 00:12:52.379
 state

00:12:52.379 --> 00:12:53.940
 in this

00:12:53.940 --> 00:12:54.259
 legal

00:12:54.259 --> 00:12:54.759
 ceremony

00:12:54.759 --> 00:12:57.060
 and so

00:12:57.060 --> 00:12:57.799
 what happens

00:12:57.799 --> 00:12:58.120
 at the

00:12:58.120 --> 00:12:58.759
 very first

00:12:58.759 --> 00:12:59.139
 thing

00:12:59.139 --> 00:13:01.779
 is that

00:13:01.779 --> 00:13:02.319
 the couple

00:13:02.319 --> 00:13:03.159
 make a

00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:03.480
 promise

00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:04.179
 to God

00:13:04.179 --> 00:13:06.399
 before they

00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:07.159
 turn to

00:13:07.159 --> 00:13:07.620
 each other

00:13:07.620 --> 00:13:10.740
 and each

00:13:10.740 --> 00:13:11.039
 of them

00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:11.559
 gets to

00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:12.059
 hear

00:13:12.059 --> 00:13:13.159
 each other

00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:13.799
 stand up

00:13:13.799 --> 00:13:14.419
 before God

00:13:14.419 --> 00:13:15.620
 before their

00:13:15.620 --> 00:13:16.379
 families and

00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:16.939
 friends and

00:13:16.939 --> 00:13:17.519
 before the

00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:18.480
 authorities of

00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:19.600
 structures of

00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:20.419
 church and

00:13:20.419 --> 00:13:21.340
 state and

00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:22.080
 they swear

00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:23.259
 loyalty and

00:13:23.259 --> 00:13:24.500
 faithfulness

00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:26.899
 things to

00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:27.500
 the covenant

00:13:27.500 --> 00:13:29.799
 not to

00:13:29.799 --> 00:13:30.440
 each other

00:13:30.440 --> 00:13:32.340
 to the

00:13:32.340 --> 00:13:32.700
 covenant

00:13:32.700 --> 00:13:37.320
 and it's

00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:38.320
 not until

00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:38.799
 they've done

00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:39.840
 that do

00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:40.179
 they then

00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:40.659
 take one

00:13:40.659 --> 00:13:41.139
 another by

00:13:41.139 --> 00:13:41.779
 the hand

00:13:41.779 --> 00:13:43.600
 and stumble

00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:44.159
 through the

00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:44.799
 rest of it

00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:45.720
 and faint

00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:46.620
 and all

00:13:46.620 --> 00:13:47.279
 in the

00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:47.759
 presence of

00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:48.139
 God I

00:13:48.139 --> 00:13:48.580
 take you

00:13:48.580 --> 00:13:49.300
 to be my

00:13:49.300 --> 00:13:49.899
 husband and

00:13:49.899 --> 00:13:50.320
 wife to

00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:50.700
 have and

00:13:50.700 --> 00:13:51.120
 to hold

00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:51.759
 from this

00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:52.399
 day forward

00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:52.779
 for better

00:13:52.779 --> 00:13:53.240
 for worse

00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:53.639
 for rich

00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:54.019
 and poor

00:13:54.019 --> 00:13:54.379
 in sickness

00:13:54.379 --> 00:13:54.879
 and health

00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:55.440
 to love

00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:55.820
 and cherish

00:13:55.820 --> 00:13:56.160
 as long

00:13:56.160 --> 00:13:56.340
 as the

00:13:56.340 --> 00:13:56.639
 best shall

00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:56.920
 live

00:13:56.920 --> 00:13:58.680
 this is

00:13:58.680 --> 00:13:59.259
 my

00:13:59.259 --> 00:14:00.000
 solemn

00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:00.879
 vow

00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:02.120
 and promise

00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:05.379
 legal

00:14:05.379 --> 00:14:06.180
 declaration

00:14:06.180 --> 00:14:10.360
 now I've

00:14:10.360 --> 00:14:10.779
 been to a

00:14:10.779 --> 00:14:11.139
 few

00:14:11.139 --> 00:14:12.360
 secular

00:14:12.360 --> 00:14:12.759
 weddings

00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:13.279
 and they're

00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:13.460
 a little

00:14:13.460 --> 00:14:13.940
 bit different

00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:16.880
 I remember

00:14:16.880 --> 00:14:17.680
 one wedding

00:14:17.680 --> 00:14:18.380
 where the

00:14:18.380 --> 00:14:19.280
 celebrant said

00:14:19.280 --> 00:14:20.640
 everything

00:14:20.640 --> 00:14:22.200
 today is

00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:23.620
 about love

00:14:23.620 --> 00:14:24.360
 this whole

00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:25.240
 ceremony

00:14:25.240 --> 00:14:26.060
 our gathering

00:14:26.060 --> 00:14:28.060
 is a

00:14:28.060 --> 00:14:28.800
 celebration

00:14:28.800 --> 00:14:30.020
 of love

00:14:30.020 --> 00:14:32.120
 and I

00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:32.360
 went

00:14:32.360 --> 00:14:33.700
 in my mind

00:14:33.700 --> 00:14:34.080
 of course

00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:37.880
 yes and

00:14:37.880 --> 00:14:38.260
 no

00:14:38.260 --> 00:14:38.900
 actually

00:14:38.900 --> 00:14:40.020
 no

00:14:40.020 --> 00:14:40.840
 really it's

00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:41.300
 not what

00:14:41.300 --> 00:14:41.700
 we're gathered

00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:42.120
 here today

00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:42.520
 we're actually

00:14:42.520 --> 00:14:43.180
 here gathered

00:14:43.180 --> 00:14:43.880
 publicly for

00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:44.340
 a legal

00:14:44.340 --> 00:14:44.939
 service

00:14:44.939 --> 00:14:46.919
 that's why

00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:47.379
 we're gathered

00:14:47.379 --> 00:14:49.759
 and then I

00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:50.419
 noticed something

00:14:50.419 --> 00:14:50.899
 else

00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:52.960
 the couples

00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:53.679
 basically

00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:54.860
 express

00:14:54.860 --> 00:14:55.759
 because they

00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:56.259
 get to write

00:14:56.259 --> 00:14:56.820
 their own

00:14:56.820 --> 00:14:57.220
 vows

00:14:57.220 --> 00:14:59.299
 they basically

00:14:59.299 --> 00:15:00.139
 express

00:15:00.139 --> 00:15:01.820
 their current

00:15:01.820 --> 00:15:02.419
 love

00:15:02.419 --> 00:15:03.779
 for each

00:15:03.779 --> 00:15:04.080
 other

00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.360
 and it's

00:15:06.360 --> 00:15:07.299
 because I

00:15:07.299 --> 00:15:08.600
 currently love

00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:09.019
 you

00:15:09.019 --> 00:15:10.320
 I desire

00:15:10.320 --> 00:15:10.919
 to be with

00:15:10.919 --> 00:15:11.240
 you

00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:15.019
 in one

00:15:15.019 --> 00:15:15.560
 case

00:15:15.560 --> 00:15:17.039
 the promise

00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:18.919
 where the

00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:19.620
 couples

00:15:19.620 --> 00:15:20.039
 express

00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:20.960
 this is

00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:21.440
 what I

00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:21.759
 like

00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:22.080
 about

00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:22.340
 you

00:15:22.340 --> 00:15:22.740
 this is

00:15:22.740 --> 00:15:23.100
 what I

00:15:23.100 --> 00:15:23.620
 enjoy

00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:24.360
 being

00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:24.580
 with

00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:24.960
 you

00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:26.620
 and

00:15:26.620 --> 00:15:27.379
 then

00:15:27.379 --> 00:15:29.139
 and then

00:15:29.139 --> 00:15:29.860
 at the end

00:15:29.860 --> 00:15:30.200
 of it

00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:30.840
 was

00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:32.240
 the promise

00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:32.720
 was

00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:33.779
 I will

00:15:33.779 --> 00:15:34.539
 love

00:15:34.539 --> 00:15:35.080
 you

00:15:35.080 --> 00:15:36.139
 for

00:15:36.139 --> 00:15:36.540
 however

00:15:36.540 --> 00:15:37.280
 long

00:15:37.280 --> 00:15:37.660
 we

00:15:37.660 --> 00:15:37.920
 are

00:15:37.920 --> 00:15:38.379
 together

00:15:38.379 --> 00:15:41.220
 what the

00:15:41.220 --> 00:15:41.379
 hell

00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:41.700
 does that

00:15:41.700 --> 00:15:42.160
 mean

00:15:42.160 --> 00:15:46.060
 until tomorrow

00:15:46.060 --> 00:15:46.580
 morning

00:15:46.580 --> 00:15:47.040
 the next

00:15:47.040 --> 00:15:47.580
 day

00:15:47.580 --> 00:15:47.980
 I mean

00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:48.379
 until I

00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:49.200
 will love

00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:49.320
 you

00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:49.639
 and then

00:15:49.639 --> 00:15:50.060
 once we're

00:15:50.060 --> 00:15:50.560
 not together

00:15:50.560 --> 00:15:50.900
 I don't

00:15:50.900 --> 00:15:51.200
 need to

00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:51.600
 love you

00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:52.080
 or once

00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:52.440
 I fall

00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:52.700
 out of

00:15:52.700 --> 00:15:52.860
 love

00:15:52.860 --> 00:15:53.120
 I don't

00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:53.340
 need to

00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:53.620
 be with

00:15:53.620 --> 00:15:53.720
 you

00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:54.139
 anymore

00:15:54.139 --> 00:15:57.000
 there were

00:15:57.000 --> 00:15:57.840
 no words

00:15:57.840 --> 00:15:58.480
 through sickness

00:15:58.480 --> 00:15:59.000
 in health

00:15:59.000 --> 00:15:59.540
 richer or

00:15:59.540 --> 00:15:59.879
 poorer

00:15:59.879 --> 00:16:01.259
 until

00:16:01.259 --> 00:16:03.180
 one or

00:16:03.180 --> 00:16:03.680
 both of

00:16:03.680 --> 00:16:03.980
 us are

00:16:03.980 --> 00:16:04.340
 dead

00:16:04.340 --> 00:16:08.980
 now

00:16:08.980 --> 00:16:09.720
 traditionally

00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:10.620
 a wedding

00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:11.399
 is not

00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:12.200
 primarily

00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:13.360
 a celebration

00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:15.180
 of how

00:16:15.180 --> 00:16:15.740
 much you

00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:16.300
 love

00:16:16.300 --> 00:16:16.759
 or you

00:16:16.759 --> 00:16:17.240
 feel

00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:17.660
 loving

00:16:17.660 --> 00:16:18.500
 right now

00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:19.680
 that's

00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:20.180
 not it

00:16:20.179 --> 00:16:21.339
 wedding

00:16:21.339 --> 00:16:22.159
 vows

00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:22.699
 are not

00:16:22.699 --> 00:16:23.559
 a declaration

00:16:23.559 --> 00:16:24.359
 of present

00:16:24.359 --> 00:16:24.859
 love

00:16:24.859 --> 00:16:25.779
 they are

00:16:25.779 --> 00:16:26.419
 mutual

00:16:26.419 --> 00:16:27.199
 binding

00:16:27.199 --> 00:16:28.039
 promise

00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:29.599
 of future

00:16:29.599 --> 00:16:30.120
 love

00:16:30.120 --> 00:16:33.799
 current

00:16:33.799 --> 00:16:34.159
 love

00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:34.539
 I'm

00:16:34.539 --> 00:16:35.059
 assumed

00:16:35.059 --> 00:16:35.599
 it should

00:16:35.599 --> 00:16:36.359
 be assumed

00:16:36.359 --> 00:16:36.939
 I think

00:16:36.939 --> 00:16:37.239
 on the

00:16:37.239 --> 00:16:37.579
 day

00:16:37.579 --> 00:16:40.899
 in a

00:16:40.899 --> 00:16:41.199
 wedding

00:16:41.199 --> 00:16:41.739
 the couple

00:16:41.739 --> 00:16:42.500
 stand before

00:16:42.500 --> 00:16:42.919
 God

00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:43.379
 family

00:16:43.379 --> 00:16:44.000
 friends

00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:44.839
 the institutions

00:16:44.839 --> 00:16:45.399
 of state

00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:45.959
 and church

00:16:45.959 --> 00:16:47.039
 in a

00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:47.299
 Christian

00:16:47.299 --> 00:16:47.620
 one

00:16:47.620 --> 00:16:48.259
 and they

00:16:48.259 --> 00:16:48.719
 promise

00:16:48.719 --> 00:16:49.240
 to be

00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:49.579
 loving

00:16:49.579 --> 00:16:50.079
 faithful

00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:50.700
 and true

00:16:50.700 --> 00:16:51.220
 to their

00:16:51.220 --> 00:16:51.660
 spouse

00:16:51.660 --> 00:16:52.400
 in the

00:16:52.400 --> 00:16:52.820
 future

00:16:52.820 --> 00:16:53.800
 through

00:16:53.800 --> 00:16:54.560
 all the

00:16:54.560 --> 00:16:55.080
 ups and

00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:55.660
 downs

00:16:55.660 --> 00:16:56.280
 through

00:16:56.280 --> 00:16:57.139
 all the

00:16:57.139 --> 00:16:58.000
 ups and

00:16:58.000 --> 00:16:58.400
 downs

00:16:58.400 --> 00:16:59.220
 particularly

00:16:59.220 --> 00:17:00.420
 of internal

00:17:00.420 --> 00:17:01.020
 feelings

00:17:01.020 --> 00:17:01.400
 of whether

00:17:01.400 --> 00:17:02.620
 I feel

00:17:02.620 --> 00:17:03.100
 loving

00:17:03.100 --> 00:17:03.920
 or passionate

00:17:03.920 --> 00:17:04.480
 or not

00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:05.519
 and every

00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:06.019
 single

00:17:06.019 --> 00:17:06.660
 external

00:17:06.660 --> 00:17:07.380
 circumstance

00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:07.840
 in life

00:17:07.840 --> 00:17:12.220
 biblically

00:17:12.220 --> 00:17:13.660
 marriage

00:17:13.660 --> 00:17:14.360
 is a

00:17:14.360 --> 00:17:14.880
 covenant

00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:15.660
 relationship

00:17:15.660 --> 00:17:16.079
 that is

00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:16.500
 public

00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:17.019
 binding

00:17:17.019 --> 00:17:17.980
 and legal

00:17:17.980 --> 00:17:18.180
 people

00:17:18.180 --> 00:17:21.480
 it's not

00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:22.680
 the

00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:23.140
 building

00:17:23.140 --> 00:17:23.660
 it's not

00:17:23.660 --> 00:17:23.920
 the

00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:24.500
 service

00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:25.160
 it's not

00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:25.860
 the dress

00:17:25.860 --> 00:17:26.440
 it's not

00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:27.720
 the rings

00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:29.720
 that makes

00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:30.539
 a person

00:17:30.539 --> 00:17:31.079
 married

00:17:31.079 --> 00:17:32.440
 what makes

00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:33.200
 them married

00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:34.599
 is a

00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:35.259
 permanent

00:17:35.259 --> 00:17:36.500
 exclusive

00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:37.799
 public

00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:38.539
 legal

00:17:38.539 --> 00:17:39.079
 commitment

00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:39.920
 to share

00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:41.779
 all aspects

00:17:41.779 --> 00:17:42.420
 of their

00:17:42.420 --> 00:17:43.259
 life together

00:17:43.259 --> 00:17:44.500
 and the

00:17:44.500 --> 00:17:45.039
 marriage

00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:45.579
 is

00:17:45.579 --> 00:17:46.359
 official

00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:48.059
 the

00:17:48.059 --> 00:17:48.500
 moment

00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:49.359
 I say

00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:50.019
 I

00:17:50.019 --> 00:17:50.619
 declare

00:17:50.619 --> 00:17:51.079
 you

00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:51.519
 to be

00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:51.920
 husband

00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:52.279
 and

00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:52.640
 wife

00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:55.039
 on

00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:55.339
 behalf

00:17:55.339 --> 00:17:55.839
 of God

00:17:55.839 --> 00:17:56.379
 and the

00:17:56.379 --> 00:17:56.799
 state

00:17:56.799 --> 00:17:59.259
 did you

00:17:59.259 --> 00:17:59.460
 know

00:17:59.460 --> 00:17:59.920
 that you

00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:00.680
 can run

00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:01.240
 most of

00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:01.539
 a wedding

00:18:01.539 --> 00:18:02.000
 service

00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:02.660
 as a

00:18:02.660 --> 00:18:03.099
 celebrant

00:18:03.099 --> 00:18:04.339
 but you

00:18:04.339 --> 00:18:05.039
 cannot say

00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:05.599
 those words

00:18:05.599 --> 00:18:06.059
 legally

00:18:06.059 --> 00:18:08.220
 unless

00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:08.480
 you're

00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:08.960
 licensed

00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.519
 and the

00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:11.960
 moment

00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:12.640
 I declare

00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:13.039
 them to

00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:13.240
 be

00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:13.980
 married

00:18:13.980 --> 00:18:15.019
 they're

00:18:15.019 --> 00:18:15.440
 married

00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:18.259
 marriage

00:18:18.259 --> 00:18:18.819
 is

00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:20.120
 not a

00:18:20.120 --> 00:18:20.559
 five by

00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:20.880
 five

00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:21.279
 renewable

00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:21.680
 options

00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:22.299
 contract

00:18:22.299 --> 00:18:23.960
 even a

00:18:23.960 --> 00:18:24.720
 prenuptial

00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:25.440
 agreement

00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:26.160
 radically

00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:26.720
 cuts

00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:27.620
 into the

00:18:27.620 --> 00:18:28.000
 biblical

00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:28.779
 definition

00:18:28.779 --> 00:18:29.440
 of marriage

00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:30.680
 and the

00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:31.039
 Bible's

00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:31.299
 teaching

00:18:31.299 --> 00:18:31.980
 of marriage

00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:32.680
 is why

00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:33.140
 the Bible

00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:33.700
 says

00:18:33.700 --> 00:18:34.400
 that you

00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:35.120
 should not

00:18:35.120 --> 00:18:35.940
 give yourself

00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:36.720
 to someone

00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:38.380
 without

00:18:38.380 --> 00:18:39.140
 them giving

00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:39.819
 you this

00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:40.279
 kind of

00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:40.740
 commitment

00:18:40.740 --> 00:18:42.620
 or you

00:18:42.620 --> 00:18:43.440
 giving them

00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:44.440
 this kind

00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:44.980
 of commitment

00:18:44.980 --> 00:18:46.840
 that's why

00:18:46.840 --> 00:18:47.500
 the Bible's

00:18:47.500 --> 00:18:47.940
 teaching on

00:18:47.940 --> 00:18:48.279
 marriage

00:18:48.279 --> 00:18:49.600
 is really

00:18:49.600 --> 00:18:49.940
 on a

00:18:49.940 --> 00:18:50.220
 collision

00:18:50.220 --> 00:18:50.740
 course

00:18:50.740 --> 00:18:51.480
 with the

00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:51.700
 modern

00:18:51.700 --> 00:18:52.220
 mindset

00:18:52.220 --> 00:18:53.460
 the modern

00:18:53.460 --> 00:18:54.860
 concept

00:18:54.860 --> 00:18:55.960
 of covenant

00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:56.880
 it just

00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:57.740
 seems so

00:18:57.740 --> 00:18:58.559
 oppressive

00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:00.400
 to the

00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:00.620
 modern

00:19:00.620 --> 00:19:01.059
 person

00:19:01.059 --> 00:19:01.420
 and which

00:19:01.420 --> 00:19:01.960
 is why

00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:04.220
 the idea

00:19:04.220 --> 00:19:04.799
 of covenant

00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:05.620
 relationships

00:19:05.620 --> 00:19:07.120
 is almost

00:19:07.120 --> 00:19:08.420
 non-existence

00:19:08.420 --> 00:19:09.380
 in western

00:19:09.380 --> 00:19:09.900
 civilization

00:19:09.900 --> 00:19:10.440
 at the

00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:10.740
 moment

00:19:10.740 --> 00:19:13.900
 marriage

00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:14.799
 as discipline

00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:15.600
 as service

00:19:15.600 --> 00:19:16.319
 as commitment

00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:17.620
 as obligation

00:19:17.620 --> 00:19:18.819
 as accountability

00:19:18.819 --> 00:19:20.480
 is so

00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:21.799
 foreign

00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:23.100
 to

00:19:23.100 --> 00:19:23.819
 deeply

00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:24.279
 held

00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:25.160
 values

00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:25.900
 of

00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:26.299
 self

00:19:26.299 --> 00:19:27.539
 excuse me

00:19:27.539 --> 00:19:28.299
 self-fulfillment

00:19:28.299 --> 00:19:28.799
 and self

00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:29.740
 actualization

00:19:29.740 --> 00:19:33.759
 now if I

00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:34.160
 left it

00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:34.460
 there

00:19:34.460 --> 00:19:35.019
 you'd go

00:19:35.019 --> 00:19:35.559
 hang on

00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:35.839
 a bit

00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:37.720
 it sounds

00:19:37.720 --> 00:19:38.539
 very

00:19:38.539 --> 00:19:39.740
 mechanical

00:19:39.740 --> 00:19:43.480
 formal

00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:44.940
 where's the

00:19:44.940 --> 00:19:45.400
 passion

00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:45.880
 where's the

00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:46.319
 romance

00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:46.700
 where's the

00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:47.099
 love

00:19:47.099 --> 00:19:50.500
 and I

00:19:50.500 --> 00:19:50.799
 suppose

00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:51.380
 on one

00:19:51.380 --> 00:19:51.660
 level

00:19:51.660 --> 00:19:52.220
 this is

00:19:52.220 --> 00:19:52.740
 the main

00:19:52.740 --> 00:19:53.079
 thing

00:19:53.079 --> 00:19:53.960
 that many

00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:55.279
 secular

00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:55.700
 the modern

00:19:55.700 --> 00:19:56.099
 person

00:19:56.099 --> 00:19:56.519
 brings

00:19:56.519 --> 00:19:56.779
 to the

00:19:56.779 --> 00:19:57.079
 idea

00:19:57.079 --> 00:19:57.259
 of

00:19:57.259 --> 00:19:57.759
 marriage

00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:58.900
 it's

00:19:58.900 --> 00:19:59.099
 just

00:19:59.099 --> 00:19:59.339
 about

00:19:59.339 --> 00:19:59.859
 love

00:19:59.859 --> 00:20:01.220
 one

00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:01.440
 of the

00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:01.759
 most

00:20:01.759 --> 00:20:02.900
 widely

00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:03.359
 held

00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:03.859
 beliefs

00:20:03.859 --> 00:20:04.359
 in our

00:20:04.359 --> 00:20:04.819
 culture

00:20:04.819 --> 00:20:05.339
 today

00:20:05.339 --> 00:20:06.779
 is that

00:20:06.779 --> 00:20:06.980
 the

00:20:06.980 --> 00:20:07.759
 foundation

00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:08.200
 of

00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:08.660
 marriage

00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:10.079
 is

00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:11.140
 romantic

00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:11.779
 love

00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:13.119
 so you

00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:13.420
 can

00:20:13.420 --> 00:20:14.420
 you can

00:20:14.420 --> 00:20:14.720
 buy

00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:16.200
 any

00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:16.940
 number

00:20:16.940 --> 00:20:17.599
 of books

00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:18.039
 and go

00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:18.700
 to courses

00:20:18.700 --> 00:20:19.480
 and stuff

00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:20.740
 and articles

00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:21.720
 about how

00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:22.019
 to keep

00:20:22.019 --> 00:20:22.619
 the sparks

00:20:22.619 --> 00:20:23.160
 alive

00:20:23.160 --> 00:20:24.360
 in your

00:20:24.360 --> 00:20:24.980
 80s

00:20:24.980 --> 00:20:29.779
 and

00:20:29.779 --> 00:20:31.620
 in that

00:20:31.620 --> 00:20:32.220
 sense

00:20:32.220 --> 00:20:34.400
 romantic

00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:35.060
 love

00:20:35.060 --> 00:20:36.300
 as it's

00:20:36.300 --> 00:20:37.180
 described

00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:37.940
 in our

00:20:37.940 --> 00:20:38.400
 culture

00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:39.279
 is it's

00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:40.200
 a feeling

00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:42.340
 romantic

00:20:42.340 --> 00:20:43.080
 love

00:20:43.080 --> 00:20:44.279
 according to

00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:44.900
 our culture

00:20:44.900 --> 00:20:45.759
 is like a

00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:46.120
 ditch

00:20:46.120 --> 00:20:47.460
 you fall

00:20:47.460 --> 00:20:48.180
 into it

00:20:48.180 --> 00:20:50.820
 it's

00:20:50.820 --> 00:20:51.440
 passive

00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:52.460
 it's

00:20:52.460 --> 00:20:52.980
 subjective

00:20:52.980 --> 00:20:54.380
 it just

00:20:54.380 --> 00:20:54.720
 happens

00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:55.299
 to you

00:20:55.299 --> 00:20:57.500
 it just

00:20:57.500 --> 00:20:58.339
 sort of

00:20:58.339 --> 00:20:59.279
 came on

00:20:59.279 --> 00:20:59.680
 me

00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:02.200
 and there's

00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:03.380
 also wide

00:21:03.380 --> 00:21:03.880
 agreement

00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:05.420
 that

00:21:05.420 --> 00:21:06.120
 romantic

00:21:06.120 --> 00:21:06.920
 love

00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:07.819
 waxes

00:21:07.819 --> 00:21:08.700
 and wanes

00:21:08.700 --> 00:21:09.839
 and it

00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:10.279
 fades

00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:11.120
 over time

00:21:11.120 --> 00:21:14.000
 and then

00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:14.360
 you got

00:21:14.360 --> 00:21:14.660
 that

00:21:14.660 --> 00:21:15.120
 combined

00:21:15.120 --> 00:21:15.900
 with another

00:21:15.900 --> 00:21:16.660
 widely held

00:21:16.660 --> 00:21:17.200
 belief

00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:18.099
 that

00:21:18.099 --> 00:21:18.700
 romantic

00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:19.539
 love

00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:19.980
 and

00:21:19.980 --> 00:21:20.400
 sexual

00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:21.059
 fulfillment

00:21:21.059 --> 00:21:22.379
 are

00:21:22.379 --> 00:21:23.339
 absolutely

00:21:23.339 --> 00:21:24.500
 important

00:21:24.500 --> 00:21:25.919
 in order

00:21:25.919 --> 00:21:26.839
 to have

00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:27.679
 a long

00:21:27.679 --> 00:21:28.819
 and fulfilled

00:21:28.819 --> 00:21:30.619
 and happy

00:21:30.619 --> 00:21:31.500
 personal

00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:32.259
 existence

00:21:32.259 --> 00:21:32.679
 in other

00:21:32.679 --> 00:21:32.980
 words

00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:33.879
 sexual

00:21:33.879 --> 00:21:34.639
 expression

00:21:34.639 --> 00:21:35.519
 is

00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:36.059
 attached

00:21:36.059 --> 00:21:36.500
 to my

00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:36.919
 self

00:21:36.919 --> 00:21:37.960
 actualization

00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:37.960


00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:42.240
 now those

00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:42.480
 two

00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:43.160
 convictions

00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:45.759
 that I

00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:46.279
 need to

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:46.600
 have

00:21:46.600 --> 00:21:47.059
 romantic

00:21:47.059 --> 00:21:47.519
 love

00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:47.860
 to be

00:21:47.860 --> 00:21:48.200
 truly

00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:48.700
 me

00:21:48.700 --> 00:21:49.120
 and

00:21:49.120 --> 00:21:50.200
 express

00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:50.519
 that

00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:51.539
 sexually

00:21:51.539 --> 00:21:54.120
 but the

00:21:54.120 --> 00:21:54.460
 fact that

00:21:54.460 --> 00:21:54.880
 romantic

00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:55.620
 love

00:21:55.620 --> 00:21:56.420
 waxes

00:21:56.420 --> 00:21:57.279
 and wanes

00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:00.799
 marriage

00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:03.099
 is

00:22:03.099 --> 00:22:03.359
 just

00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:03.519
 in

00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:04.980
 with

00:22:04.980 --> 00:22:05.180
 those

00:22:05.180 --> 00:22:05.379
 two

00:22:05.379 --> 00:22:05.879
 ideas

00:22:05.879 --> 00:22:08.279
 so the

00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:08.759
 institution

00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:09.519
 of marriage

00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:12.319
 while we

00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:13.039
 think it's

00:22:13.039 --> 00:22:13.519
 declining

00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:14.099
 actually

00:22:14.099 --> 00:22:14.720
 isn't

00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:17.259
 what's

00:22:17.259 --> 00:22:17.680
 happening

00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:18.279
 is

00:22:18.279 --> 00:22:19.460
 people

00:22:19.460 --> 00:22:19.619
 are

00:22:19.619 --> 00:22:20.559
 cohabitating

00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:20.559


00:22:22.019 --> 00:22:23.519
 up to

00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:24.379
 85%

00:22:24.379 --> 00:22:24.740
 I think

00:22:24.740 --> 00:22:25.000
 at the

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:25.240
 moment

00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:25.839
 cohabitate

00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:26.240
 before

00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:26.799
 marriage

00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:28.139
 try

00:22:28.139 --> 00:22:28.839
 before

00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:29.000
 you

00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:29.200
 buy

00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:29.440
 kind

00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:29.539
 of

00:22:29.539 --> 00:22:29.619
 a

00:22:29.619 --> 00:22:29.819
 thing

00:22:29.819 --> 00:22:32.619
 and it's

00:22:32.619 --> 00:22:33.139
 because of

00:22:33.139 --> 00:22:33.379
 those

00:22:33.379 --> 00:22:34.039
 ideas

00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:35.519
 a married

00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:36.039
 man gave

00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:36.500
 me some

00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:36.940
 advice

00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:37.399
 not long

00:22:37.399 --> 00:22:37.700
 before

00:22:37.700 --> 00:22:37.919
 Nat

00:22:37.919 --> 00:22:38.159
 and I

00:22:38.159 --> 00:22:38.279
 are

00:22:38.279 --> 00:22:38.639
 married

00:22:38.639 --> 00:22:40.079
 he said

00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:40.720
 that over

00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:41.379
 the years

00:22:41.379 --> 00:22:42.779
 the partnership

00:22:42.779 --> 00:22:43.539
 in life

00:22:43.539 --> 00:22:44.019
 was still

00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:44.440
 there

00:22:44.440 --> 00:22:45.200
 but the

00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:45.659
 romance

00:22:45.659 --> 00:22:46.039
 and the

00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:46.480
 passion

00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:47.039
 it just

00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:47.500
 dies

00:22:47.500 --> 00:22:47.799
 off

00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:48.299
 but that's

00:22:48.299 --> 00:22:48.740
 okay

00:22:48.740 --> 00:22:51.220
 sort of

00:22:51.220 --> 00:22:53.960
 another

00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:54.220
 one

00:22:54.220 --> 00:22:54.799
 told me

00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:58.159
 that if

00:22:58.159 --> 00:22:59.059
 you put

00:22:59.059 --> 00:22:59.700
 a jelly

00:22:59.700 --> 00:23:00.039
 bean

00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:00.460
 in a

00:23:00.460 --> 00:23:00.759
 jar

00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:01.440
 every time

00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:01.799
 you had

00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:02.180
 sex

00:23:02.180 --> 00:23:02.440
 in the

00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:02.680
 first

00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:02.879
 year

00:23:02.879 --> 00:23:03.019
 of

00:23:03.019 --> 00:23:03.460
 marriage

00:23:03.460 --> 00:23:04.940
 and then

00:23:04.940 --> 00:23:05.399
 took one

00:23:05.399 --> 00:23:05.839
 out every

00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:06.399
 time you

00:23:06.399 --> 00:23:06.879
 had sex

00:23:06.879 --> 00:23:07.539
 after the

00:23:07.539 --> 00:23:07.960
 first year

00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:08.339
 of marriage

00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:08.720
 the jar

00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:09.039
 would never

00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:09.319
 become

00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:09.680
 empty

00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:13.700
 joke's

00:23:13.700 --> 00:23:13.980
 on him

00:23:13.980 --> 00:23:14.380
 I'm a

00:23:14.380 --> 00:23:14.820
 diabetic

00:23:14.820 --> 00:23:15.640
 I

00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:16.200
 have

00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:16.539
 jelly

00:23:16.539 --> 00:23:16.880
 beans

00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:17.279
 all

00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:17.480
 the

00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:17.920
 time

00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:22.720
 I'm

00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:22.880
 not

00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.180
 don't

00:23:23.180 --> 00:23:23.380
 read

00:23:23.380 --> 00:23:23.700
 any more

00:23:23.700 --> 00:23:24.060
 into that

00:23:24.060 --> 00:23:24.480
 than that

00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:24.680
 I'm

00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:24.900
 just

00:23:24.900 --> 00:23:27.960
 you see

00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:28.560
 what it's

00:23:28.560 --> 00:23:28.740
 saying

00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:29.100
 there is

00:23:29.100 --> 00:23:29.279
 the

00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:29.720
 modern

00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:30.420
 view

00:23:30.420 --> 00:23:32.299
 understands

00:23:32.299 --> 00:23:33.400
 love

00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:34.519
 as a

00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:35.039
 feeling

00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:35.440
 it's about

00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:36.060
 passion

00:23:36.060 --> 00:23:36.640
 it's about

00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:37.360
 something

00:23:37.360 --> 00:23:37.680
 that

00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:39.000
 happens

00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:39.560
 to me

00:23:39.559 --> 00:23:41.519
 I feel

00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:41.980
 romantic

00:23:41.980 --> 00:23:42.419
 passion

00:23:42.419 --> 00:23:43.019
 for you

00:23:43.019 --> 00:23:43.419
 and I

00:23:43.419 --> 00:23:43.940
 don't

00:23:43.940 --> 00:23:44.379
 need

00:23:44.379 --> 00:23:45.000
 a piece

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:45.539
 of paper

00:23:45.539 --> 00:23:47.500
 to make

00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:48.119
 how I

00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:48.679
 feel

00:23:48.679 --> 00:23:49.440
 any better

00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:51.659
 and that

00:23:51.659 --> 00:23:52.740
 is absolutely

00:23:52.740 --> 00:23:53.419
 correct

00:23:53.419 --> 00:23:55.559
 if love

00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:57.299
 is about

00:23:57.299 --> 00:23:57.759
 romantic

00:23:57.759 --> 00:23:58.319
 passion

00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.139
 no piece

00:24:00.139 --> 00:24:00.399
 of paper

00:24:00.399 --> 00:24:00.619
 is going

00:24:00.619 --> 00:24:00.839
 to help

00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:01.379
 with that

00:24:01.379 --> 00:24:02.440
 for sure

00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:05.579
 but the

00:24:05.579 --> 00:24:06.119
 Bible sees

00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:06.440
 love

00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:07.200
 primarily

00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:11.580
 primarily

00:24:11.580 --> 00:24:12.559
 as much

00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:12.900
 about

00:24:12.900 --> 00:24:14.160
 giving

00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:15.720
 love

00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:16.559
 rather than

00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:17.019
 so much

00:24:17.019 --> 00:24:17.900
 as feeling

00:24:17.900 --> 00:24:18.319
 love

00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.140
 or receiving

00:24:19.140 --> 00:24:19.660
 love

00:24:19.660 --> 00:24:21.440
 love is

00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:22.140
 about giving

00:24:22.140 --> 00:24:22.940
 yourself to

00:24:22.940 --> 00:24:23.840
 another person

00:24:23.840 --> 00:24:25.019
 how much

00:24:25.019 --> 00:24:25.420
 you're willing

00:24:25.420 --> 00:24:26.240
 to lose

00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:26.960
 for the

00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.519
 sake of

00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:27.720
 another

00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:28.080
 person

00:24:28.080 --> 00:24:28.360
 how much

00:24:28.360 --> 00:24:28.680
 you're willing

00:24:28.680 --> 00:24:29.400
 to invest

00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:29.740
 in the

00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:29.900
 other

00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:30.400
 person

00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:31.000
 and in

00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:31.519
 that sense

00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:32.080
 when someone

00:24:32.080 --> 00:24:32.799
 says I

00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:33.100
 don't need

00:24:33.100 --> 00:24:33.360
 a piece

00:24:33.360 --> 00:24:33.580
 of paper

00:24:33.580 --> 00:24:33.980
 to show

00:24:33.980 --> 00:24:34.940
 you how

00:24:34.940 --> 00:24:35.160
 much

00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:35.299
 I

00:24:35.299 --> 00:24:35.720
 love

00:24:35.720 --> 00:24:36.080
 you

00:24:36.080 --> 00:24:36.680
 what

00:24:36.680 --> 00:24:36.900
 they

00:24:36.900 --> 00:24:37.200
 could

00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:37.920
 potentially

00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:38.460
 also

00:24:38.460 --> 00:24:38.759
 be

00:24:38.759 --> 00:24:39.140
 meaning

00:24:39.140 --> 00:24:39.740
 is

00:24:39.740 --> 00:24:40.299
 I

00:24:40.299 --> 00:24:40.539
 don't

00:24:40.539 --> 00:24:40.779
 love

00:24:40.779 --> 00:24:40.900
 you

00:24:40.900 --> 00:24:41.200
 enough

00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:41.580
 to give

00:24:41.580 --> 00:24:42.259
 myself

00:24:42.259 --> 00:24:42.620
 to you

00:24:42.620 --> 00:24:43.080
 completely

00:24:43.080 --> 00:24:48.940
 you see

00:24:48.940 --> 00:24:49.380
 the Bible

00:24:49.380 --> 00:24:49.700
 sees

00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:50.320
 marriage

00:24:50.320 --> 00:24:51.279
 as a

00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:52.320
 relationship

00:24:52.320 --> 00:24:52.820
 that is

00:24:52.820 --> 00:24:54.480
 far more

00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:55.340
 durable

00:24:55.340 --> 00:24:56.320
 and binding

00:24:56.320 --> 00:24:57.500
 and unconditional

00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:59.460
 than one

00:24:59.460 --> 00:25:00.160
 that is based

00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:00.820
 on mere

00:25:00.820 --> 00:25:01.299
 feeling

00:25:01.299 --> 00:25:01.980
 and affection

00:25:01.980 --> 00:25:02.860
 and at

00:25:02.860 --> 00:25:03.360
 the same

00:25:03.360 --> 00:25:04.000
 time

00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:05.660
 it sees

00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:06.319
 marriage

00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:07.259
 as far

00:25:07.259 --> 00:25:07.559
 more

00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:08.180
 intimate

00:25:08.180 --> 00:25:09.759
 and personal

00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:10.880
 than

00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:11.680
 merely

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:12.240
 a

00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:13.900
 legal

00:25:13.900 --> 00:25:16.220
 business

00:25:16.220 --> 00:25:17.319
 relationship

00:25:17.319 --> 00:25:17.819
 that's

00:25:17.819 --> 00:25:18.360
 convenient

00:25:18.360 --> 00:25:19.759
 for

00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:20.680
 economic

00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:21.200
 gain

00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:21.620
 or something

00:25:21.620 --> 00:25:22.160
 like that

00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:23.680
 so the

00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:23.980
 Bible

00:25:23.980 --> 00:25:24.640
 actually

00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:25.259
 sees

00:25:25.259 --> 00:25:25.779
 marriage

00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:26.279
 as a

00:25:26.279 --> 00:25:26.579
 covenant

00:25:26.579 --> 00:25:27.279
 relationship

00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:28.180
 that has

00:25:28.180 --> 00:25:28.900
 a stunning

00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:29.599
 blend

00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:30.640
 of law

00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:31.480
 and love

00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:32.839
 and that's

00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:33.380
 what I want

00:25:33.380 --> 00:25:33.839
 to unpack

00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:34.539
 now

00:25:34.539 --> 00:25:35.880
 it was

00:25:35.880 --> 00:25:36.200
 British

00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:36.680
 philosopher

00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:37.180
 Bertrand

00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:37.599
 Russell

00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:39.539
 he made

00:25:39.539 --> 00:25:40.099
 an early

00:25:40.099 --> 00:25:40.920
 20th century

00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:41.519
 argument

00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:42.200
 for the

00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:42.819
 expression

00:25:42.819 --> 00:25:43.860
 of sexual

00:25:43.860 --> 00:25:44.640
 love

00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:45.380
 outside of

00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:45.839
 marriage

00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:46.279
 he said

00:25:46.279 --> 00:25:46.460
 it was

00:25:46.460 --> 00:25:46.940
 the preferred

00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:47.440
 option

00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:47.940
 if you like

00:25:47.940 --> 00:25:48.420
 he was

00:25:48.420 --> 00:25:48.900
 an atheist

00:25:48.900 --> 00:25:50.339
 and he

00:25:50.339 --> 00:25:51.000
 argued

00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:52.160
 that sexual

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:52.740
 activity

00:25:52.740 --> 00:25:53.779
 should be

00:25:53.779 --> 00:25:54.180
 marked

00:25:54.180 --> 00:25:54.740
 and therefore

00:25:54.740 --> 00:25:56.079
 sexual activity

00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:56.380
 should be

00:25:56.380 --> 00:25:56.620
 marked

00:25:56.620 --> 00:25:57.640
 by intense

00:25:57.640 --> 00:25:58.599
 passion

00:25:58.599 --> 00:26:00.000
 and romantic

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:00.599
 delight

00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:01.899
 and that

00:26:01.899 --> 00:26:02.839
 can flourish

00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:04.279
 to quote

00:26:04.279 --> 00:26:04.639
 him

00:26:04.639 --> 00:26:05.939
 as long

00:26:05.939 --> 00:26:06.579
 as it

00:26:06.579 --> 00:26:07.619
 is free

00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:09.399
 and spontaneous

00:26:09.399 --> 00:26:12.799
 he said

00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.059
 that romantic

00:26:14.059 --> 00:26:14.919
 passion

00:26:14.919 --> 00:26:16.079
 and love

00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:16.980
 and sex

00:26:16.980 --> 00:26:18.119
 tends to be

00:26:18.119 --> 00:26:18.699
 killed

00:26:18.699 --> 00:26:19.699
 by the

00:26:19.699 --> 00:26:20.299
 thought

00:26:20.299 --> 00:26:21.219
 of duty

00:26:21.219 --> 00:26:23.319
 it's an

00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:23.819
 obligation

00:26:23.819 --> 00:26:25.359
 and that

00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:25.919
 thinking

00:26:25.919 --> 00:26:27.579
 from Bertrand

00:26:27.579 --> 00:26:27.939
 Russell

00:26:27.940 --> 00:26:29.320
 is

00:26:29.320 --> 00:26:30.140
 considered

00:26:30.140 --> 00:26:30.740
 that makes

00:26:30.740 --> 00:26:31.140
 a lot of

00:26:31.140 --> 00:26:31.440
 sense

00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:32.140
 in our

00:26:32.140 --> 00:26:32.500
 day and

00:26:32.500 --> 00:26:32.700
 age

00:26:32.700 --> 00:26:33.279
 right now

00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:34.940
 and the

00:26:34.940 --> 00:26:35.200
 Bible

00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:35.779
 fundamentally

00:26:35.779 --> 00:26:36.380
 disagrees

00:26:36.380 --> 00:26:36.840
 with that

00:26:36.840 --> 00:26:37.860
 the Bible

00:26:37.860 --> 00:26:38.559
 sees

00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:39.700
 love

00:26:39.700 --> 00:26:40.460
 needs

00:26:40.460 --> 00:26:40.820
 a

00:26:40.820 --> 00:26:41.740
 framework

00:26:41.740 --> 00:26:43.080
 of a

00:26:43.080 --> 00:26:43.700
 binding

00:26:43.700 --> 00:26:44.660
 obligation

00:26:44.660 --> 00:26:46.279
 to make

00:26:46.279 --> 00:26:46.880
 it fully

00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:47.259
 what it

00:26:47.259 --> 00:26:47.880
 should be

00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:50.220
 it's a

00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:50.940
 relationship

00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:51.640
 that is

00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:52.640
 more

00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:53.200
 intimate

00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:54.799
 because

00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:55.779
 it is

00:26:55.779 --> 00:26:56.240
 legal

00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:01.319
 and that

00:27:01.319 --> 00:27:01.779
 actually

00:27:01.779 --> 00:27:02.100
 makes

00:27:02.100 --> 00:27:02.420
 common

00:27:02.420 --> 00:27:02.799
 sense

00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:03.160
 too

00:27:03.160 --> 00:27:06.460
 to make

00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:06.759
 a

00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:07.799
 for example

00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:09.220
 to make

00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:10.220
 a binding

00:27:10.220 --> 00:27:11.360
 public vow

00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:11.479
 love

00:27:11.479 --> 00:27:11.899
 commitment

00:27:11.899 --> 00:27:12.579
 to give

00:27:12.579 --> 00:27:13.159
 yourself

00:27:13.159 --> 00:27:13.740
 to another

00:27:13.740 --> 00:27:14.459
 person

00:27:14.459 --> 00:27:17.159
 be committed

00:27:17.159 --> 00:27:17.659
 to that

00:27:17.659 --> 00:27:18.279
 person

00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:19.500
 through

00:27:19.500 --> 00:27:20.639
 every single

00:27:20.639 --> 00:27:21.259
 thing that

00:27:21.259 --> 00:27:21.839
 life will

00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:22.439
 throw at

00:27:22.439 --> 00:27:22.839
 you

00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:25.240
 is an

00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:25.939
 enormous

00:27:25.939 --> 00:27:26.879
 act of

00:27:26.879 --> 00:27:27.419
 love

00:27:27.419 --> 00:27:29.839
 in itself

00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:33.539
 an enormous

00:27:33.539 --> 00:27:34.099
 act of

00:27:34.099 --> 00:27:34.399
 love

00:27:34.399 --> 00:27:35.639
 the

00:27:35.639 --> 00:27:36.139
 willingness

00:27:36.139 --> 00:27:37.419
 to make

00:27:37.419 --> 00:27:38.119
 that kind

00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:38.719
 of commitment

00:27:38.719 --> 00:27:40.419
 actually enhances

00:27:40.420 --> 00:27:41.019
 love

00:27:41.019 --> 00:27:43.340
 another way

00:27:43.340 --> 00:27:43.759
 and it

00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:44.220
 builds on

00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:44.519
 this

00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:45.600
 is why

00:27:45.600 --> 00:27:46.180
 marriage is

00:27:46.180 --> 00:27:46.800
 more intimate

00:27:46.800 --> 00:27:48.980
 because it

00:27:48.980 --> 00:27:49.460
 is legally

00:27:49.460 --> 00:27:49.920
 binding

00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:50.940
 is the

00:27:50.940 --> 00:27:51.600
 security

00:27:51.600 --> 00:27:52.440
 that it

00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:53.060
 provides

00:27:53.060 --> 00:27:54.000
 you see

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:54.300
 when

00:27:54.300 --> 00:27:56.580
 if you

00:27:56.580 --> 00:27:57.039
 can wind

00:27:57.039 --> 00:27:57.660
 your mind

00:27:57.660 --> 00:27:58.220
 back for

00:27:58.220 --> 00:27:58.680
 those who

00:27:58.680 --> 00:27:58.880
 have been

00:27:58.880 --> 00:27:59.360
 married for

00:27:59.360 --> 00:27:59.660
 a while

00:27:59.660 --> 00:28:00.440
 but when

00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:01.000
 dating

00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:02.580
 or for

00:28:02.580 --> 00:28:02.880
 instance

00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:03.880
 if you're

00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:04.300
 a couple

00:28:04.300 --> 00:28:04.640
 living

00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:05.080
 together

00:28:05.080 --> 00:28:06.680
 what you

00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:07.000
 have to

00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:07.300
 do in

00:28:07.300 --> 00:28:07.980
 that moment

00:28:07.980 --> 00:28:08.920
 in that

00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:09.480
 relationship

00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:09.840
 at that

00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:10.480
 stage

00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:11.419
 is you

00:28:11.419 --> 00:28:12.339
 have to

00:28:12.339 --> 00:28:12.879
 constantly

00:28:12.879 --> 00:28:13.779
 prove

00:28:13.779 --> 00:28:15.139
 your value

00:28:15.139 --> 00:28:16.059
 daily

00:28:16.059 --> 00:28:17.179
 to your

00:28:17.179 --> 00:28:17.659
 partner

00:28:17.659 --> 00:28:18.879
 by impressing

00:28:18.879 --> 00:28:19.599
 and enticing

00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:20.519
 and so the

00:28:20.519 --> 00:28:21.179
 relationship

00:28:21.179 --> 00:28:22.179
 at that

00:28:22.179 --> 00:28:22.559
 point

00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:23.379
 is really

00:28:23.379 --> 00:28:25.119
 a consumer

00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:25.980
 orientated

00:28:25.980 --> 00:28:26.659
 relationship

00:28:26.659 --> 00:28:28.819
 I need

00:28:28.819 --> 00:28:29.959
 to give

00:28:29.959 --> 00:28:30.379
 you a

00:28:30.379 --> 00:28:31.039
 cost benefit

00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:31.619
 analysis

00:28:31.619 --> 00:28:32.480
 as to why

00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:32.939
 we should

00:28:32.939 --> 00:28:33.699
 stay together

00:28:33.700 --> 00:28:35.900
 you see

00:28:35.900 --> 00:28:36.259
 when we

00:28:36.259 --> 00:28:36.900
 first fall

00:28:36.900 --> 00:28:37.460
 in love

00:28:37.460 --> 00:28:39.299
 we think

00:28:39.299 --> 00:28:39.860
 we love

00:28:39.860 --> 00:28:40.660
 that person

00:28:40.660 --> 00:28:42.460
 but we

00:28:42.460 --> 00:28:42.860
 actually

00:28:42.860 --> 00:28:43.720
 don't

00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:44.200
 really

00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:47.019
 it takes

00:28:47.019 --> 00:28:47.940
 years

00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:49.420
 to truly

00:28:49.420 --> 00:28:50.100
 love

00:28:50.100 --> 00:28:50.960
 a person

00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:53.000
 what

00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:53.799
 happens

00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:54.480
 when we

00:28:54.480 --> 00:28:55.200
 fall into

00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:55.960
 the ditch

00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:56.900
 of love

00:28:56.900 --> 00:28:57.980
 and we

00:28:57.980 --> 00:28:59.019
 feel love

00:28:59.019 --> 00:29:00.579
 we fall

00:29:00.579 --> 00:29:01.639
 in love

00:29:01.639 --> 00:29:03.039
 with our

00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:04.180
 idea

00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:05.220
 of that

00:29:05.220 --> 00:29:05.819
 person

00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:08.379
 that's what

00:29:08.379 --> 00:29:08.799
 we fall

00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:09.200
 in love

00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:09.539
 with

00:29:09.539 --> 00:29:11.160
 there is

00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:11.879
 an emotional

00:29:11.879 --> 00:29:12.759
 high that

00:29:12.759 --> 00:29:13.339
 comes to

00:29:13.339 --> 00:29:13.700
 us

00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:14.839
 when someone

00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:15.420
 thinks that

00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:15.920
 we're so

00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:16.379
 wonderful

00:29:16.379 --> 00:29:16.839
 and we're

00:29:16.839 --> 00:29:17.639
 so beautiful

00:29:17.639 --> 00:29:18.759
 or so

00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:19.319
 handsome

00:29:19.319 --> 00:29:20.019
 or so

00:29:20.019 --> 00:29:20.700
 talented

00:29:20.700 --> 00:29:21.700
 or so

00:29:21.700 --> 00:29:22.240
 funny

00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:23.859
 and that

00:29:23.859 --> 00:29:24.639
 is part

00:29:24.639 --> 00:29:25.079
 of what

00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:25.920
 fuels

00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:27.360
 the early

00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:27.980
 passion

00:29:27.980 --> 00:29:28.420
 and the

00:29:28.420 --> 00:29:29.039
 electricity

00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:30.539
 of falling

00:29:30.539 --> 00:29:31.220
 in love

00:29:31.220 --> 00:29:34.600
 the other

00:29:34.600 --> 00:29:35.160
 side of

00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:35.620
 this

00:29:35.620 --> 00:29:39.120
 is that

00:29:39.120 --> 00:29:39.640
 the other

00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:40.360
 person

00:29:40.360 --> 00:29:41.240
 who you

00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:41.779
 think is

00:29:41.779 --> 00:29:42.400
 captivated

00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:43.160
 by you

00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:44.180
 does not

00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:44.660
 really know

00:29:44.660 --> 00:29:45.279
 you either

00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:48.000
 and that's

00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:48.539
 somewhat more

00:29:48.539 --> 00:29:48.920
 troubling

00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:49.900
 underneath

00:29:49.900 --> 00:29:51.340
 and which is

00:29:51.340 --> 00:29:51.700
 why we have

00:29:51.700 --> 00:29:52.180
 to try so

00:29:52.180 --> 00:29:52.620
 hard

00:29:52.620 --> 00:29:54.600
 we have to

00:29:54.600 --> 00:29:55.019
 put on our

00:29:55.019 --> 00:29:55.720
 best versions

00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:56.519
 of ourselves

00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:01.779
 there are

00:30:01.779 --> 00:30:02.700
 things about

00:30:02.700 --> 00:30:03.319
 oneself

00:30:03.319 --> 00:30:03.819
 that

00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:04.779
 about

00:30:04.779 --> 00:30:05.240
 ourselves

00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:06.120
 that we're

00:30:06.120 --> 00:30:06.799
 ashamed of

00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:07.100
 that we're

00:30:07.100 --> 00:30:07.839
 afraid of

00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:08.180
 and we

00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:08.559
 could not

00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:09.380
 possibly allow

00:30:09.380 --> 00:30:09.880
 those things

00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:10.339
 to come out

00:30:10.339 --> 00:30:10.620
 at this

00:30:10.620 --> 00:30:10.960
 point

00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:11.960
 otherwise

00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:13.980
 it'll be

00:30:13.980 --> 00:30:14.360
 over

00:30:14.360 --> 00:30:15.880
 and we

00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:16.759
 don't let

00:30:16.759 --> 00:30:17.100
 the other

00:30:17.100 --> 00:30:17.759
 person see

00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:18.539
 our flaws

00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:20.059
 because

00:30:20.059 --> 00:30:21.140
 fundamentally

00:30:21.140 --> 00:30:21.940
 what our

00:30:21.940 --> 00:30:22.299
 hearts

00:30:22.299 --> 00:30:23.079
 can't cope

00:30:23.079 --> 00:30:23.539
 with

00:30:23.539 --> 00:30:24.579
 is the

00:30:24.579 --> 00:30:25.180
 possibility

00:30:25.180 --> 00:30:26.000
 of rejection

00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.200
 because we

00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:30.000
 want love

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:30.460
 is what

00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:30.940
 we want

00:30:30.940 --> 00:30:35.460
 even

00:30:35.460 --> 00:30:36.080
 deeper

00:30:36.080 --> 00:30:36.600
 still

00:30:36.600 --> 00:30:38.279
 we can't

00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:38.640
 reveal

00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:39.660
 those parts

00:30:39.660 --> 00:30:40.100
 of our

00:30:40.100 --> 00:30:40.600
 character

00:30:40.600 --> 00:30:41.460
 that we

00:30:41.460 --> 00:30:41.980
 can't in

00:30:41.980 --> 00:30:42.700
 fact see

00:30:42.700 --> 00:30:43.820
 ourselves

00:30:43.820 --> 00:30:45.519
 and which

00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:46.240
 will only be

00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:46.860
 revealed to

00:30:46.860 --> 00:30:47.560
 us in the

00:30:47.560 --> 00:30:48.080
 course

00:30:48.079 --> 00:30:49.019
 of a

00:30:49.019 --> 00:30:49.599
 long

00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:50.139
 long

00:30:50.139 --> 00:30:50.879
 marriage

00:30:50.879 --> 00:30:54.099
 so the

00:30:54.099 --> 00:30:54.439
 dilemma

00:30:54.439 --> 00:30:55.399
 is this

00:30:55.399 --> 00:30:56.879
 the

00:30:56.879 --> 00:30:57.319
 person

00:30:57.319 --> 00:30:57.720
 doesn't

00:30:57.720 --> 00:30:58.000
 really

00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:58.460
 know

00:30:58.460 --> 00:30:59.059
 us

00:30:59.059 --> 00:31:00.099
 and

00:31:00.099 --> 00:31:00.480
 therefore

00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:01.079
 doesn't

00:31:01.079 --> 00:31:01.519
 really

00:31:01.519 --> 00:31:02.099
 love

00:31:02.099 --> 00:31:02.799
 us

00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:05.919
 not yet

00:31:05.919 --> 00:31:06.980
 anyway

00:31:06.980 --> 00:31:09.960
 what

00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:10.200
 they

00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:10.900
 love

00:31:10.900 --> 00:31:11.980
 is

00:31:11.980 --> 00:31:12.299
 their

00:31:12.299 --> 00:31:12.819
 version

00:31:12.819 --> 00:31:13.480
 of

00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:14.099
 us

00:31:14.099 --> 00:31:16.380
 what

00:31:16.380 --> 00:31:16.579
 we

00:31:16.579 --> 00:31:17.000
 think

00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:17.279
 of

00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:17.460
 as

00:31:17.460 --> 00:31:17.680
 being

00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:17.920
 head

00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.140
 over

00:31:18.140 --> 00:31:18.460
 heels

00:31:18.460 --> 00:31:18.720
 in

00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:19.099
 love

00:31:19.099 --> 00:31:19.400
 is

00:31:19.400 --> 00:31:19.579
 in

00:31:19.579 --> 00:31:19.940
 large

00:31:19.940 --> 00:31:20.360
 part

00:31:20.360 --> 00:31:20.599
 a

00:31:20.599 --> 00:31:21.200
 gusto

00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:22.799
 of

00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:23.319
 ego

00:31:23.319 --> 00:31:24.259
 gratification

00:31:24.259 --> 00:31:30.220
 and it's

00:31:30.220 --> 00:31:30.720
 not

00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:31.539
 until

00:31:31.539 --> 00:31:31.879
 you've

00:31:31.879 --> 00:31:32.079
 been

00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:32.660
 together

00:31:32.660 --> 00:31:34.500
 for a

00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:34.940
 period

00:31:34.940 --> 00:31:35.279
 of

00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:35.940
 time

00:31:35.940 --> 00:31:38.339
 where

00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:39.640
 the

00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:41.599
 all the

00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:42.000
 veils

00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:42.299
 and the

00:31:42.299 --> 00:31:42.779
 barriers

00:31:42.779 --> 00:31:43.480
 start to

00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:44.319
 be removed

00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:45.319
 and they

00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:45.839
 start to

00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:46.619
 see you

00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:46.980
 over

00:31:46.980 --> 00:31:47.700
 time

00:31:47.700 --> 00:31:49.759
 that

00:31:49.759 --> 00:31:53.019
 the

00:31:53.019 --> 00:31:53.359
 real

00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:53.960
 you

00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:54.920
 comes

00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:55.279
 out

00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:57.160
 and the

00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:57.539
 challenges

00:31:57.539 --> 00:31:58.059
 start

00:31:58.059 --> 00:31:59.539
 so it's

00:31:59.539 --> 00:31:59.799
 not in

00:31:59.799 --> 00:32:00.240
 your notes

00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:00.579
 but did

00:32:00.579 --> 00:32:00.840
 you know

00:32:00.840 --> 00:32:01.400
 that

00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:03.400
 75%

00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:04.200
 of couples

00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:04.900
 who cohabitate

00:32:04.900 --> 00:32:05.819
 before marriage

00:32:05.819 --> 00:32:06.980
 last

00:32:06.980 --> 00:32:07.759
 less than

00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:09.460
 five years

00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:12.920
 last

00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:13.259
 less than

00:32:13.259 --> 00:32:13.920
 five years

00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:15.860
 75%

00:32:15.860 --> 00:32:16.120
 the other

00:32:16.120 --> 00:32:16.759
 25%

00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:17.360
 get married

00:32:17.360 --> 00:32:18.819
 and

00:32:18.819 --> 00:32:19.279
 their

00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:19.740
 divorce

00:32:19.740 --> 00:32:20.160
 rate

00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:21.059
 is

00:32:21.059 --> 00:32:21.420
 slightly

00:32:21.420 --> 00:32:21.880
 higher

00:32:21.880 --> 00:32:22.360
 than those

00:32:22.360 --> 00:32:23.220
 who don't

00:32:23.220 --> 00:32:23.759
 cohabitate

00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:24.059
 before

00:32:24.059 --> 00:32:24.599
 marriage

00:32:24.599 --> 00:32:26.420
 cohabitation

00:32:26.420 --> 00:32:27.000
 before

00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:27.619
 marriage

00:32:27.619 --> 00:32:28.339
 increases

00:32:28.339 --> 00:32:29.180
 the

00:32:29.180 --> 00:32:29.559
 likelihood

00:32:29.559 --> 00:32:29.940
 of

00:32:29.940 --> 00:32:30.420
 divorce

00:32:30.420 --> 00:32:32.599
 I'll

00:32:32.599 --> 00:32:32.859
 get to

00:32:32.859 --> 00:32:33.039
 that

00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:33.339
 in a

00:32:33.339 --> 00:32:33.640
 moment

00:32:33.640 --> 00:32:35.720
 unbeknownst

00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:36.099
 to most

00:32:36.099 --> 00:32:36.460
 people

00:32:36.460 --> 00:32:36.940
 that's

00:32:36.940 --> 00:32:37.460
 actual

00:32:37.460 --> 00:32:38.019
 statistic

00:32:38.019 --> 00:32:38.440
 fact

00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:41.720
 did you

00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:41.940
 know

00:32:41.940 --> 00:32:42.379
 that

00:32:42.379 --> 00:32:44.680
 couples

00:32:44.680 --> 00:32:44.900
 who

00:32:44.900 --> 00:32:45.319
 marry

00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:48.240
 their

00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:49.279
 unhappiness

00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:49.759
 levels

00:32:49.759 --> 00:32:50.180
 before

00:32:50.180 --> 00:32:50.640
 marriage

00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:51.640
 marriage

00:32:50.900 --> 00:32:51.300
 exactly

00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:51.560
 the

00:32:51.560 --> 00:32:51.860
 same

00:32:51.860 --> 00:32:52.120
 as

00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:52.240
 a

00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:52.600
 couple

00:32:52.600 --> 00:32:53.080
 who

00:32:53.080 --> 00:32:53.820
 cohabitate

00:32:53.820 --> 00:32:54.320
 before

00:32:54.320 --> 00:32:54.880
 marriage

00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:59.740
 however

00:32:59.740 --> 00:33:01.940
 every

00:33:01.940 --> 00:33:02.440
 couple

00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:03.720
 that

00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:04.360
 describes

00:33:04.360 --> 00:33:04.580
 their

00:33:04.580 --> 00:33:04.960
 marriage

00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:05.320
 as

00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:06.020
 unhappy

00:33:06.020 --> 00:33:07.540
 if they

00:33:07.540 --> 00:33:08.040
 stick

00:33:08.040 --> 00:33:08.360
 with

00:33:08.360 --> 00:33:08.680
 it

00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:10.660
 those

00:33:10.660 --> 00:33:11.220
 same

00:33:11.220 --> 00:33:12.259
 two

00:33:12.259 --> 00:33:12.600
 thirds

00:33:12.600 --> 00:33:13.060
 of those

00:33:13.060 --> 00:33:13.940
 relationships

00:33:13.940 --> 00:33:14.940
 will

00:33:14.940 --> 00:33:15.299
 self

00:33:15.299 --> 00:33:15.720
 describe

00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:16.259
 as

00:33:16.259 --> 00:33:16.740
 happy

00:33:16.740 --> 00:33:18.120
 beyond

00:33:18.120 --> 00:33:18.340
 the

00:33:18.340 --> 00:33:18.559
 six

00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:18.720
 year

00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:19.100
 mark

00:33:19.099 --> 00:33:28.139
 there

00:33:28.139 --> 00:33:28.259
 is

00:33:28.259 --> 00:33:28.519
 nothing

00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:28.919
 quite

00:33:28.919 --> 00:33:29.279
 like

00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:29.419
 the

00:33:29.419 --> 00:33:29.779
 profound

00:33:29.779 --> 00:33:30.539
 satisfaction

00:33:30.539 --> 00:33:30.959
 of being

00:33:30.959 --> 00:33:31.379
 known

00:33:31.379 --> 00:33:31.719
 and

00:33:31.719 --> 00:33:32.159
 loved

00:33:32.159 --> 00:33:34.779
 when

00:33:34.779 --> 00:33:34.959
 over

00:33:34.959 --> 00:33:35.240
 many

00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:35.599
 years

00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:35.919
 someone

00:33:35.919 --> 00:33:36.299
 has

00:33:36.299 --> 00:33:36.639
 seen

00:33:36.639 --> 00:33:36.839
 us

00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:36.959
 at

00:33:36.959 --> 00:33:37.139
 our

00:33:37.139 --> 00:33:37.559
 worst

00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:37.759
 and

00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:38.000
 knows

00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:38.199
 our

00:33:38.199 --> 00:33:38.599
 strengths

00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:38.779
 and

00:33:38.779 --> 00:33:38.959
 our

00:33:38.959 --> 00:33:39.379
 flaws

00:33:39.379 --> 00:33:40.599
 and

00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:40.980
 still

00:33:40.980 --> 00:33:41.439
 commits

00:33:41.439 --> 00:33:41.839
 wholly

00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:42.099
 to

00:33:42.099 --> 00:33:42.419
 you

00:33:42.419 --> 00:33:43.659
 that

00:33:43.659 --> 00:33:44.579
 is

00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:45.439
 deeply

00:33:45.439 --> 00:33:46.419
 satisfying

00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:48.820
 to

00:33:48.820 --> 00:33:49.000
 be

00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:49.360
 loved

00:33:49.360 --> 00:33:49.640
 but

00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:49.900
 not

00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:50.360
 known

00:33:50.360 --> 00:33:50.680
 is

00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:51.500
 gratifying

00:33:51.500 --> 00:33:53.920
 thrilling

00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:57.180
 but

00:33:57.180 --> 00:33:57.380
 it's

00:33:57.380 --> 00:33:57.880
 superficial

00:33:57.880 --> 00:33:59.440
 to

00:33:59.440 --> 00:33:59.600
 be

00:33:59.600 --> 00:33:59.980
 known

00:33:59.980 --> 00:34:00.300
 and

00:34:00.300 --> 00:34:00.580
 not

00:34:00.580 --> 00:34:01.080
 loved

00:34:01.080 --> 00:34:02.759
 that

00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:03.300
 is

00:34:03.300 --> 00:34:03.620
 our

00:34:03.620 --> 00:34:04.000
 greatest

00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:04.460
 fear

00:34:04.460 --> 00:34:05.120
 but

00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:05.279
 to

00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:05.440
 be

00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:05.700
 fully

00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:06.120
 known

00:34:06.120 --> 00:34:06.400
 and

00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:06.779
 fully

00:34:06.779 --> 00:34:07.259
 loved

00:34:07.259 --> 00:34:07.980
 is

00:34:07.980 --> 00:34:08.200
 the

00:34:08.200 --> 00:34:08.680
 deepest

00:34:08.680 --> 00:34:09.200
 of

00:34:09.200 --> 00:34:09.579
 all

00:34:09.579 --> 00:34:10.039
 loves

00:34:10.039 --> 00:34:11.559
 and

00:34:11.559 --> 00:34:11.960
 that's

00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:12.119
 what

00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:12.460
 every

00:34:12.460 --> 00:34:12.760
 human

00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:13.079
 heart

00:34:13.079 --> 00:34:13.380
 needs

00:34:13.380 --> 00:34:13.599
 more

00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:13.760
 than

00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:14.240
 anything

00:34:14.240 --> 00:34:14.720
 else

00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:16.899
 and

00:34:16.899 --> 00:34:17.079
 that

00:34:17.079 --> 00:34:17.439
 kind

00:34:17.439 --> 00:34:17.559
 of

00:34:17.559 --> 00:34:17.759
 love

00:34:17.759 --> 00:34:17.939
 is

00:34:17.939 --> 00:34:18.219
 not

00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:19.039
 killed

00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:19.939
 by

00:34:19.939 --> 00:34:20.359
 legal

00:34:20.359 --> 00:34:20.919
 commitment

00:34:20.919 --> 00:34:21.579
 legal

00:34:21.579 --> 00:34:22.079
 commitment

00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:22.500
 in fact

00:34:22.500 --> 00:34:23.059
 provides

00:34:23.059 --> 00:34:23.239
 the

00:34:23.239 --> 00:34:23.759
 environment

00:34:23.759 --> 00:34:24.599
 for

00:34:24.599 --> 00:34:24.819
 that

00:34:24.819 --> 00:34:25.299
 love

00:34:25.299 --> 00:34:25.739
 to

00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:26.099
 grow

00:34:26.099 --> 00:34:29.599
 in

00:34:29.599 --> 00:34:29.779
 his

00:34:29.779 --> 00:34:29.959
 book

00:34:29.959 --> 00:34:30.099
 the

00:34:30.099 --> 00:34:30.359
 marriage

00:34:30.359 --> 00:34:30.739
 builder

00:34:30.739 --> 00:34:31.299
 Larry

00:34:31.299 --> 00:34:31.819
 crab

00:34:31.819 --> 00:34:32.739
 recounts

00:34:32.739 --> 00:34:32.819
 an

00:34:32.819 --> 00:34:33.259
 experience

00:34:33.259 --> 00:34:33.599
 in

00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:33.739
 fact

00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:33.959
 as

00:34:33.959 --> 00:34:34.039
 he

00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:34.139
 was

00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:34.439
 writing

00:34:34.439 --> 00:34:34.619
 the

00:34:34.619 --> 00:34:34.779
 book

00:34:34.779 --> 00:34:34.959
 he's

00:34:34.959 --> 00:34:35.039
 in

00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:35.179
 a

00:34:35.179 --> 00:34:35.559
 plane

00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:36.159
 and

00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:36.279
 he

00:34:36.279 --> 00:34:36.799
 you

00:34:36.799 --> 00:34:36.980
 know

00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:38.000
 notepad

00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:38.159
 in

00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:38.379
 front

00:34:38.379 --> 00:34:38.519
 of

00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:38.699
 him

00:34:38.699 --> 00:34:38.939
 and

00:34:38.939 --> 00:34:39.679
 the

00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:40.119
 airline

00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:40.659
 steward

00:34:40.659 --> 00:34:41.319
 notice

00:34:41.319 --> 00:34:42.259
 that

00:34:42.259 --> 00:34:43.179
 something

00:34:43.179 --> 00:34:43.439
 about

00:34:43.439 --> 00:34:43.899
 marriage

00:34:43.899 --> 00:34:44.119
 and

00:34:44.119 --> 00:34:44.319
 she

00:34:44.319 --> 00:34:44.619
 asked

00:34:44.619 --> 00:34:44.799
 what

00:34:44.799 --> 00:34:44.900
 he

00:34:44.900 --> 00:34:45.059
 was

00:34:45.059 --> 00:34:45.440
 doing

00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.099
 told

00:34:46.099 --> 00:34:46.219
 he

00:34:46.219 --> 00:34:46.299
 was

00:34:46.299 --> 00:34:46.539
 writing

00:34:46.539 --> 00:34:46.659
 a

00:34:46.659 --> 00:34:46.779
 book

00:34:46.779 --> 00:34:46.940
 on

00:34:46.940 --> 00:34:47.359
 marriage

00:34:47.359 --> 00:34:48.119
 and

00:34:48.119 --> 00:34:48.980
 her

00:34:48.980 --> 00:34:50.539
 words

00:34:50.539 --> 00:34:50.719
 to

00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:51.019
 him

00:34:51.019 --> 00:34:51.400
 were

00:34:51.400 --> 00:34:51.960
 I

00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:52.359
 really

00:34:52.359 --> 00:34:53.099
 believe

00:34:53.099 --> 00:34:53.380
 in

00:34:53.380 --> 00:34:53.799
 marriage

00:34:53.799 --> 00:34:54.400
 after

00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:54.779
 six

00:34:54.779 --> 00:34:55.000
 years

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:55.159
 of

00:34:55.159 --> 00:34:55.319
 living

00:34:55.319 --> 00:34:55.539
 with

00:34:55.539 --> 00:34:55.679
 a

00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:55.900
 man

00:34:55.900 --> 00:34:56.059
 I

00:34:56.059 --> 00:34:56.539
 decided

00:34:56.539 --> 00:34:56.779
 that

00:34:56.779 --> 00:34:56.900
 I

00:34:56.900 --> 00:34:57.099
 wanted

00:34:57.099 --> 00:34:57.219
 to

00:34:57.219 --> 00:34:57.339
 be

00:34:57.339 --> 00:34:57.719
 married

00:34:57.719 --> 00:34:59.299
 since

00:34:59.299 --> 00:34:59.519
 the

00:34:59.519 --> 00:34:59.819
 guy

00:34:59.819 --> 00:35:00.099
 I

00:35:00.099 --> 00:35:00.299
 was

00:35:00.299 --> 00:35:00.719
 living

00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:01.299
 with

00:35:01.299 --> 00:35:02.119
 liked

00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:02.559
 our

00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:03.059
 no

00:35:03.059 --> 00:35:03.659
 strings

00:35:03.659 --> 00:35:04.279
 attached

00:35:04.279 --> 00:35:05.339
 agrangement

00:35:05.339 --> 00:35:05.980
 I

00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:06.279
 found

00:35:06.279 --> 00:35:06.880
 somebody

00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:07.380
 else

00:35:07.380 --> 00:35:07.839
 who

00:35:07.839 --> 00:35:08.039
 was

00:35:08.039 --> 00:35:08.279
 willing

00:35:08.279 --> 00:35:08.500
 to

00:35:08.500 --> 00:35:08.679
 tie

00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:08.880
 the

00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:09.119
 knot

00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:09.579
 and

00:35:09.579 --> 00:35:09.699
 we

00:35:09.699 --> 00:35:09.900
 got

00:35:09.900 --> 00:35:10.239
 married

00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:10.539
 two

00:35:10.539 --> 00:35:10.859
 months

00:35:10.859 --> 00:35:11.239
 ago

00:35:11.239 --> 00:35:12.500
 I

00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:12.880
 asked

00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:13.139
 her

00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:13.460
 why

00:35:13.460 --> 00:35:13.679
 she

00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:14.119
 preferred

00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:14.539
 a

00:35:14.539 --> 00:35:14.900
 marriage

00:35:14.900 --> 00:35:15.239
 commitment

00:35:15.239 --> 00:35:15.480
 to

00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:15.699
 merely

00:35:15.699 --> 00:35:15.960
 living

00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:16.359
 together

00:35:16.359 --> 00:35:17.159
 she

00:35:17.159 --> 00:35:17.480
 said

00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:17.699
 I

00:35:17.699 --> 00:35:18.039
 think

00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:18.259
 it's

00:35:18.259 --> 00:35:18.440
 the

00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:18.900
 commitment

00:35:18.900 --> 00:35:19.359
 part

00:35:19.359 --> 00:35:19.599
 I

00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:20.079
 wanted

00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:21.299
 I

00:35:21.299 --> 00:35:21.799
 married

00:35:21.799 --> 00:35:22.139
 a

00:35:22.139 --> 00:35:22.699
 man

00:35:22.699 --> 00:35:23.519
 who

00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:23.839
 seems

00:35:23.839 --> 00:35:24.139
 to be

00:35:24.139 --> 00:35:24.659
 really

00:35:24.659 --> 00:35:25.179
 committed

00:35:25.179 --> 00:35:25.500
 to

00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:25.940
 loving

00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:26.440
 me

00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:27.019
 and

00:35:27.019 --> 00:35:27.480
 working

00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:27.920
 on

00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:28.279
 our

00:35:28.279 --> 00:35:29.019
 relationship

00:35:29.019 --> 00:35:30.000
 I

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:30.440
 never

00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:30.859
 felt

00:35:30.859 --> 00:35:31.579
 secure

00:35:31.579 --> 00:35:32.079
 enough

00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:32.920
 to

00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:33.339
 really

00:35:33.339 --> 00:35:33.779
 open

00:35:33.779 --> 00:35:34.119
 up

00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:34.359
 and

00:35:34.359 --> 00:35:34.639
 try

00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:34.779
 to

00:35:34.779 --> 00:35:34.960
 get

00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:35.599
 close

00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:36.259
 with

00:35:36.259 --> 00:35:36.420
 a

00:35:36.420 --> 00:35:36.779
 man

00:35:36.779 --> 00:35:37.079
 who

00:35:37.079 --> 00:35:37.460
 wouldn't

00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:37.879
 make

00:35:37.879 --> 00:35:38.319
 any

00:35:38.319 --> 00:35:39.019
 promises

00:35:39.019 --> 00:35:44.980
 that

00:35:44.980 --> 00:35:45.719
 is

00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:45.880
 the

00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:46.300
 value

00:35:46.300 --> 00:35:48.920
 of

00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:49.059
 the

00:35:49.059 --> 00:35:49.340
 marriage

00:35:49.340 --> 00:35:49.739
 covenant

00:35:49.739 --> 00:35:50.719
 the

00:35:50.719 --> 00:35:51.139
 legal

00:35:51.139 --> 00:35:51.539
 bond

00:35:51.539 --> 00:35:51.679
 of

00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:52.000
 marriage

00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:52.579
 creates

00:35:52.579 --> 00:35:52.820
 a

00:35:52.820 --> 00:35:53.300
 space

00:35:53.300 --> 00:35:53.539
 for

00:35:53.539 --> 00:35:54.139
 security

00:35:54.139 --> 00:35:55.460
 where

00:35:55.460 --> 00:35:55.659
 we

00:35:55.659 --> 00:35:55.860
 can

00:35:55.860 --> 00:35:56.239
 open

00:35:56.239 --> 00:35:56.519
 up

00:35:56.519 --> 00:35:56.820
 and

00:35:56.820 --> 00:35:57.400
 reveal

00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:57.759
 our

00:35:57.759 --> 00:35:58.099
 true

00:35:58.099 --> 00:35:58.679
 selves

00:35:58.679 --> 00:35:59.259
 we

00:35:59.259 --> 00:35:59.440
 can

00:35:59.440 --> 00:35:59.619
 be

00:35:59.619 --> 00:36:00.079
 vulnerable

00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:01.380
 vulnerable

00:36:01.380 --> 00:36:03.739
 no

00:36:03.739 --> 00:36:04.000
 longer

00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:04.280
 having

00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:04.500
 to

00:36:04.500 --> 00:36:04.800
 keep

00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:05.000
 up

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:05.639
 facades

00:36:05.639 --> 00:36:06.420
 we

00:36:06.420 --> 00:36:06.619
 don't

00:36:06.619 --> 00:36:06.800
 have

00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:06.960
 to

00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:07.280
 keep

00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:07.780
 selling

00:36:07.780 --> 00:36:08.480
 ourselves

00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:09.340
 we

00:36:09.340 --> 00:36:09.539
 can

00:36:09.539 --> 00:36:09.900
 lay

00:36:09.900 --> 00:36:10.599
 the

00:36:10.599 --> 00:36:11.019
 last

00:36:11.019 --> 00:36:11.460
 layer

00:36:11.460 --> 00:36:11.740
 of

00:36:11.740 --> 00:36:12.000
 our

00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:12.639
 defenses

00:36:12.639 --> 00:36:13.240
 down

00:36:13.240 --> 00:36:13.500
 and

00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:13.679
 be

00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:14.219
 completely

00:36:14.219 --> 00:36:14.820
 naked

00:36:14.820 --> 00:36:16.340
 not

00:36:16.340 --> 00:36:16.579
 just

00:36:16.579 --> 00:36:17.000
 physically

00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:17.420
 but

00:36:17.420 --> 00:36:17.920
 in a

00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:18.240
 much

00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:19.119
 deeper

00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:19.659
 way

00:36:19.659 --> 00:36:20.360
 of

00:36:20.360 --> 00:36:20.699
 a

00:36:20.699 --> 00:36:21.400
 nakedness

00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:21.639
 of

00:36:21.639 --> 00:36:22.079
 heart

00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:22.360
 and

00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:22.860
 soul

00:36:22.860 --> 00:36:23.179
 of

00:36:23.179 --> 00:36:23.480
 deep

00:36:23.480 --> 00:36:24.119
 vulnerability

00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:24.480
 with

00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:24.659
 one

00:36:24.659 --> 00:36:25.059
 another

00:36:25.059 --> 00:36:27.059
 you

00:36:27.059 --> 00:36:27.280
 see

00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:27.980
 marriage

00:36:27.980 --> 00:36:28.820
 actually

00:36:28.820 --> 00:36:29.559
 enhances

00:36:29.559 --> 00:36:30.340
 romantic

00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:30.960
 love

00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:32.240
 it

00:36:32.240 --> 00:36:32.699
 doesn't

00:36:32.699 --> 00:36:33.119
 kill

00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:33.400
 it

00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:34.079
 by

00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:34.579
 nature

00:36:34.579 --> 00:36:35.539
 as

00:36:35.539 --> 00:36:36.179
 Diogenes

00:36:36.179 --> 00:36:36.500
 Allen

00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:37.079
 put it

00:36:37.079 --> 00:36:37.519
 the

00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:37.900
 ethical

00:36:37.900 --> 00:36:37.960
!

00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:38.519
 commitment

00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:38.940
 to

00:36:38.940 --> 00:36:39.480
 another

00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:40.039
 person

00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:40.400
 in

00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:40.880
 marriage

00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:41.559
 is

00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:42.400
 precisely

00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:42.820
 what

00:36:42.820 --> 00:36:43.320
 enables

00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:43.599
 the

00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:44.420
 spontaneity

00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:44.559
 of

00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:45.000
 romantic

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:45.440
 love

00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:46.059
 to

00:36:46.059 --> 00:36:46.639
 achieve

00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:46.880
 the

00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:47.539
 stability

00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:48.099
 and

00:36:48.099 --> 00:36:48.619
 longevity

00:36:48.619 --> 00:36:49.059
 that

00:36:49.059 --> 00:36:49.300
 it

00:36:49.300 --> 00:36:49.820
 longs

00:36:49.820 --> 00:36:50.139
 for

00:36:50.139 --> 00:36:51.320
 but

00:36:51.320 --> 00:36:51.599
 is

00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:52.019
 unable

00:36:52.019 --> 00:36:52.320
 to

00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:52.820
 provide

00:36:52.820 --> 00:36:53.320
 by

00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:53.920
 itself

00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:55.179
 in

00:36:55.179 --> 00:36:55.400
 other

00:36:55.400 --> 00:36:55.639
 words

00:36:55.639 --> 00:36:56.139
 romantic

00:36:56.139 --> 00:36:56.800
 love

00:36:56.800 --> 00:36:57.199
 cannot

00:36:57.199 --> 00:36:57.900
 provide

00:36:57.900 --> 00:36:58.159
 the

00:36:58.159 --> 00:36:58.639
 stability

00:36:58.639 --> 00:36:59.420
 and

00:36:59.420 --> 00:36:59.599
 the

00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:00.059
 longevity

00:37:00.059 --> 00:37:00.420
 that

00:37:00.420 --> 00:37:00.740
 every

00:37:00.740 --> 00:37:01.039
 heart

00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:01.679
 desires

00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:03.179
 it

00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:03.340
 is

00:37:03.340 --> 00:37:03.539
 the

00:37:03.539 --> 00:37:04.119
 covenantal

00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:04.639
 commitment

00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:05.299
 that

00:37:05.299 --> 00:37:05.759
 enables

00:37:05.759 --> 00:37:06.199
 married

00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:06.659
 people

00:37:06.659 --> 00:37:07.279
 to

00:37:07.279 --> 00:37:07.799
 become

00:37:07.799 --> 00:37:08.299
 people

00:37:08.299 --> 00:37:08.539
 who

00:37:08.539 --> 00:37:08.759
 love

00:37:08.759 --> 00:37:08.980
 each

00:37:08.980 --> 00:37:09.299
 other

00:37:09.299 --> 00:37:10.259
 what

00:37:10.259 --> 00:37:10.339
 does

00:37:10.339 --> 00:37:10.460
 that

00:37:10.460 --> 00:37:10.659
 look

00:37:10.659 --> 00:37:10.879
 like

00:37:10.879 --> 00:37:11.059
 in

00:37:11.059 --> 00:37:11.579
 practice

00:37:11.579 --> 00:37:13.500
 here

00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:13.639
 it

00:37:13.639 --> 00:37:14.019
 is

00:37:14.019 --> 00:37:16.819
 if

00:37:16.819 --> 00:37:17.339
 our

00:37:17.339 --> 00:37:18.239
 this is my

00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:19.139
 yeah

00:37:19.139 --> 00:37:19.460
 there we

00:37:19.460 --> 00:37:19.679
 go

00:37:19.679 --> 00:37:21.419
 if

00:37:21.419 --> 00:37:21.719
 our

00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:22.460
 definition

00:37:22.460 --> 00:37:23.000
 of

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:23.739
 love

00:37:23.739 --> 00:37:24.940
 stresses

00:37:24.940 --> 00:37:26.079
 affectionate

00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:26.759
 feelings

00:37:26.759 --> 00:37:27.839
 more than

00:37:27.839 --> 00:37:28.719
 unselfish

00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:29.419
 actions

00:37:29.419 --> 00:37:30.599
 we

00:37:30.599 --> 00:37:31.059
 will

00:37:31.059 --> 00:37:31.519
 in

00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:31.859
 fact

00:37:31.859 --> 00:37:32.799
 cripple

00:37:32.799 --> 00:37:33.299
 our

00:37:33.299 --> 00:37:33.839
 ability

00:37:33.839 --> 00:37:34.279
 to

00:37:34.279 --> 00:37:34.699
 maintain

00:37:34.699 --> 00:37:35.299
 and

00:37:35.299 --> 00:37:35.719
 grow

00:37:35.719 --> 00:37:36.359
 a

00:37:36.359 --> 00:37:36.739
 great

00:37:36.739 --> 00:37:37.319
 marriage

00:37:37.319 --> 00:37:38.039
 let

00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:38.379
 alone

00:37:38.379 --> 00:37:39.059
 any

00:37:39.059 --> 00:37:40.079
 any

00:37:40.079 --> 00:37:40.619
 love

00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:41.379
 relationship

00:37:41.379 --> 00:37:43.239
 including

00:37:43.239 --> 00:37:43.819
 parenting

00:37:43.819 --> 00:37:45.859
 if

00:37:45.859 --> 00:37:46.319
 however

00:37:46.319 --> 00:37:47.199
 we

00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:47.579
 stress

00:37:47.579 --> 00:37:47.799
 the

00:37:47.799 --> 00:37:48.279
 action

00:37:48.279 --> 00:37:48.599
 of

00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:49.179
 love

00:37:49.179 --> 00:37:49.919
 over

00:37:49.919 --> 00:37:50.139
 the

00:37:50.139 --> 00:37:50.639
 feeling

00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:51.460
 we

00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:52.440
 enhance

00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:54.039
 and

00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:55.019
 establish

00:37:55.019 --> 00:37:56.259
 the

00:37:56.259 --> 00:37:57.279
 feelings

00:37:57.279 --> 00:37:57.659
 of

00:37:57.659 --> 00:37:58.059
 love

00:37:58.059 --> 00:38:01.480
 that

00:38:01.480 --> 00:38:02.419
 is

00:38:02.419 --> 00:38:02.679
 the

00:38:02.679 --> 00:38:03.359
 crucial

00:38:03.359 --> 00:38:04.079
 secret

00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:04.599
 of a

00:38:04.599 --> 00:38:04.859
 life

00:38:04.859 --> 00:38:05.039
 of

00:38:05.039 --> 00:38:05.480
 love

00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:07.440
 and

00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:07.659
 of a

00:38:07.659 --> 00:38:07.879
 great

00:38:07.879 --> 00:38:08.359
 marriage

00:38:08.359 --> 00:38:10.460
 and

00:38:10.460 --> 00:38:10.859
 so

00:38:10.859 --> 00:38:12.059
 Ephesians

00:38:12.059 --> 00:38:12.659
 5

00:38:12.659 --> 00:38:13.719
 28

00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:14.259
 Paul

00:38:14.259 --> 00:38:14.579
 says

00:38:14.579 --> 00:38:15.019
 husbands

00:38:15.019 --> 00:38:15.759
 ought to

00:38:15.759 --> 00:38:16.019
 love

00:38:16.019 --> 00:38:16.239
 their

00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:16.879
 wives

00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:17.880
 love

00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:19.079
 their

00:38:19.079 --> 00:38:19.619
 wives

00:38:19.619 --> 00:38:19.740
 in

00:38:19.740 --> 00:38:19.880
 verse

00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:20.440
 25

00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:21.579
 but

00:38:21.579 --> 00:38:21.920
 here

00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:22.160
 he

00:38:22.160 --> 00:38:22.559
 uses

00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:22.880
 a

00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:23.380
 verb

00:38:23.380 --> 00:38:24.119
 that

00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:25.300
 very

00:38:25.300 --> 00:38:26.240
 strongly

00:38:26.240 --> 00:38:27.160
 stresses

00:38:27.160 --> 00:38:28.420
 obligation

00:38:28.420 --> 00:38:30.559
 he

00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:31.599
 commands

00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:32.320
 husbands

00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:32.760
 to

00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:33.480
 love

00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:33.760
 their

00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:34.500
 wives

00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:36.079
 not

00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:36.920
 not

00:38:36.920 --> 00:38:37.139
 to

00:38:37.139 --> 00:38:37.680
 feel

00:38:37.680 --> 00:38:38.000
 love

00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:38.200
 for

00:38:38.200 --> 00:38:38.360
 your

00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:38.880
 wife

00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:39.139
 but

00:38:39.139 --> 00:38:39.360
 to

00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:39.740
 love

00:38:39.740 --> 00:38:40.500
 that's

00:38:40.500 --> 00:38:40.780
 because

00:38:40.780 --> 00:38:41.420
 you

00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:41.960
 cannot

00:38:41.960 --> 00:38:42.800
 command

00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:43.019
 an

00:38:43.019 --> 00:38:43.460
 emotion

00:38:43.460 --> 00:38:44.380
 you

00:38:44.380 --> 00:38:44.960
 can't

00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:45.840
 command

00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:47.659
 a

00:38:47.659 --> 00:38:48.200
 feeling

00:38:48.200 --> 00:38:49.440
 you

00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:49.659
 can

00:38:49.659 --> 00:38:50.260
 only

00:38:50.260 --> 00:38:50.980
 command

00:38:50.980 --> 00:38:51.780
 an

00:38:51.780 --> 00:38:52.380
 obligation

00:38:52.380 --> 00:38:52.800
 you

00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:52.940
 can

00:38:52.940 --> 00:38:53.180
 only

00:38:53.180 --> 00:38:53.680
 command

00:38:53.680 --> 00:38:53.960
 an

00:38:53.960 --> 00:38:54.579
 action

00:38:54.579 --> 00:38:55.420
 and

00:38:55.420 --> 00:38:56.099
 Paul

00:38:56.099 --> 00:38:56.619
 here

00:38:56.619 --> 00:38:57.239
 is

00:38:57.239 --> 00:38:58.139
 commanding

00:38:58.139 --> 00:38:58.840
 acts

00:38:58.840 --> 00:38:59.159
 of

00:38:59.159 --> 00:38:59.779
 love

00:38:59.779 --> 00:39:02.139
 he

00:39:02.139 --> 00:39:02.299
 doesn't

00:39:02.299 --> 00:39:02.619
 care

00:39:02.619 --> 00:39:02.840
 how

00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:03.019
 you

00:39:03.019 --> 00:39:03.679
 feel

00:39:03.679 --> 00:39:06.139
 on

00:39:06.139 --> 00:39:06.279
 a

00:39:06.279 --> 00:39:06.480
 given

00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:07.000
 day

00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:08.639
 he

00:39:08.639 --> 00:39:08.860
 doesn't

00:39:08.860 --> 00:39:09.420
 care

00:39:09.420 --> 00:39:09.739
 whether

00:39:09.739 --> 00:39:10.019
 the

00:39:10.019 --> 00:39:10.460
 heart's

00:39:10.460 --> 00:39:10.980
 racing

00:39:10.980 --> 00:39:11.380
 and

00:39:11.380 --> 00:39:12.159
 the

00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:12.659
 blood's

00:39:12.659 --> 00:39:13.179
 flowing

00:39:13.179 --> 00:39:16.779
 he

00:39:16.779 --> 00:39:16.900
 says

00:39:16.900 --> 00:39:17.019
 you

00:39:17.019 --> 00:39:17.239
 must

00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:17.639
 love

00:39:17.639 --> 00:39:17.840
 your

00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:18.400
 wives

00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:18.400


00:39:18.920 --> 00:39:19.400
 Action!

00:39:24.579 --> 00:39:25.380
 and

00:39:25.380 --> 00:39:25.559
 when

00:39:25.559 --> 00:39:25.759
 we

00:39:25.759 --> 00:39:26.059
 do

00:39:26.059 --> 00:39:27.539
 we

00:39:27.539 --> 00:39:27.799
 give

00:39:27.799 --> 00:39:27.980
 love

00:39:27.980 --> 00:39:28.119
 a

00:39:28.119 --> 00:39:28.539
 chance

00:39:28.539 --> 00:39:33.159
 I

00:39:33.159 --> 00:39:33.380
 don't

00:39:33.380 --> 00:39:33.639
 think

00:39:33.639 --> 00:39:34.860
 many

00:39:34.860 --> 00:39:35.159
 have

00:39:35.159 --> 00:39:35.579
 made

00:39:35.579 --> 00:39:36.259
 this

00:39:36.259 --> 00:39:36.659
 point

00:39:36.659 --> 00:39:37.739
 much

00:39:37.739 --> 00:39:38.179
 clearer

00:39:38.179 --> 00:39:38.500
 and

00:39:38.500 --> 00:39:38.759
 better

00:39:38.759 --> 00:39:39.079
 than

00:39:39.079 --> 00:39:39.500
 C.S.

00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:39.819
 Lewis

00:39:39.819 --> 00:39:41.000
 he

00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:41.360
 captures

00:39:41.360 --> 00:39:41.719
 it a

00:39:41.719 --> 00:39:41.900
 bit

00:39:41.900 --> 00:39:42.139
 in

00:39:42.139 --> 00:39:42.480
 his

00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:43.480
 book

00:39:43.480 --> 00:39:44.639
 Mere

00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:45.159
 Christianity

00:39:45.159 --> 00:39:45.500
 but

00:39:45.500 --> 00:39:45.840
 during

00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:46.639
 World War

00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:47.039
 II

00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:48.000
 he

00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:48.159
 did

00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:48.279
 a

00:39:48.279 --> 00:39:48.500
 whole

00:39:48.500 --> 00:39:48.759
 heap

00:39:48.759 --> 00:39:49.019
 of

00:39:49.019 --> 00:39:51.960
 broadcasts

00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:52.199
 on

00:39:52.199 --> 00:39:52.480
 BBC

00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:53.079
 radio

00:39:53.079 --> 00:39:54.239
 and

00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:54.379
 he

00:39:54.379 --> 00:39:54.639
 made

00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:54.859
 the

00:39:54.859 --> 00:39:55.199
 point

00:39:55.199 --> 00:39:55.519
 that

00:39:55.519 --> 00:39:56.239
 in

00:39:56.239 --> 00:39:56.379
 one

00:39:56.379 --> 00:39:56.459
 of

00:39:56.459 --> 00:39:56.619
 those

00:39:56.619 --> 00:39:57.219
 broadcasts

00:39:57.219 --> 00:39:57.279
 that

00:39:57.279 --> 00:39:57.719
 despite

00:39:57.719 --> 00:39:58.359
 feelings

00:39:58.359 --> 00:39:58.679
 of

00:39:58.679 --> 00:39:59.319
 indifference

00:39:59.319 --> 00:39:59.599
 and

00:39:59.599 --> 00:39:59.839
 even

00:39:59.839 --> 00:40:00.579
 contempt

00:40:00.579 --> 00:40:00.839
 for

00:40:00.839 --> 00:40:01.079
 another

00:40:01.079 --> 00:40:01.679
 person

00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:03.059
 you

00:40:03.059 --> 00:40:03.379
 can

00:40:03.379 --> 00:40:03.639
 in

00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:03.859
 fact

00:40:03.859 --> 00:40:04.519
 change

00:40:04.519 --> 00:40:04.779
 your

00:40:04.779 --> 00:40:05.479
 heart

00:40:05.479 --> 00:40:06.939
 over

00:40:06.939 --> 00:40:07.139
 the

00:40:07.139 --> 00:40:07.439
 long

00:40:07.439 --> 00:40:07.819
 haul

00:40:07.819 --> 00:40:08.559
 through

00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:08.819
 your

00:40:08.819 --> 00:40:09.439
 actions

00:40:09.439 --> 00:40:09.819
 of

00:40:09.819 --> 00:40:10.119
 love

00:40:10.119 --> 00:40:10.539
 towards

00:40:10.539 --> 00:40:10.759
 that

00:40:10.759 --> 00:40:11.259
 person

00:40:11.259 --> 00:40:13.519
 he

00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:13.799
 says

00:40:13.799 --> 00:40:14.579
 though

00:40:14.579 --> 00:40:15.459
 natural

00:40:15.459 --> 00:40:16.859
 likings

00:40:16.859 --> 00:40:17.539
 should

00:40:17.539 --> 00:40:17.939
 normally

00:40:17.939 --> 00:40:18.219
 be

00:40:18.219 --> 00:40:18.859
 encouraged

00:40:18.859 --> 00:40:19.459
 it

00:40:19.459 --> 00:40:19.679
 would

00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:19.979
 be

00:40:19.979 --> 00:40:20.619
 quite

00:40:20.619 --> 00:40:20.959
 wrong

00:40:20.959 --> 00:40:21.179
 to

00:40:21.179 --> 00:40:21.459
 think

00:40:21.459 --> 00:40:21.659
 that

00:40:21.659 --> 00:40:21.839
 the

00:40:21.839 --> 00:40:22.059
 way

00:40:22.059 --> 00:40:22.219
 to

00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:22.599
 become

00:40:22.599 --> 00:40:23.079
 loving

00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:23.919
 is

00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:24.159
 to

00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:24.519
 sit

00:40:24.519 --> 00:40:25.119
 trying

00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:25.440
 to

00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:26.240
 manufacture

00:40:26.240 --> 00:40:27.099
 affectionate

00:40:27.099 --> 00:40:27.680
 feelings

00:40:27.680 --> 00:40:29.500
 the

00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:30.039
 rule

00:40:30.039 --> 00:40:30.360
 for

00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:30.760
 all

00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:30.940
 of

00:40:30.940 --> 00:40:31.220
 us

00:40:31.220 --> 00:40:31.500
 is

00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:32.000
 perfectly

00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:32.619
 simple

00:40:32.619 --> 00:40:33.880
 do

00:40:33.880 --> 00:40:34.119
 not

00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:34.460
 waste

00:40:34.460 --> 00:40:34.880
 time

00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:35.480
 bothering

00:40:35.480 --> 00:40:35.940
 whether

00:40:35.940 --> 00:40:36.180
 you

00:40:36.180 --> 00:40:36.740
 love

00:40:36.740 --> 00:40:36.960
 your

00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:37.360
 neighbour

00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:38.840
 act

00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:39.180
 as if

00:40:39.180 --> 00:40:39.320
 you

00:40:39.320 --> 00:40:39.680
 do

00:40:39.680 --> 00:40:41.519
 as

00:40:41.519 --> 00:40:41.900
 soon

00:40:41.900 --> 00:40:42.079
 as

00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:42.260
 we

00:40:42.260 --> 00:40:42.680
 do

00:40:42.680 --> 00:40:43.240
 this

00:40:43.240 --> 00:40:44.360
 we

00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:44.960
 find

00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:45.260
 one

00:40:45.260 --> 00:40:45.380
 of

00:40:45.380 --> 00:40:45.539
 the

00:40:45.539 --> 00:40:45.960
 great

00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:46.720
 secrets

00:40:46.720 --> 00:40:48.260
 when

00:40:48.260 --> 00:40:48.480
 you

00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:48.720
 are

00:40:48.720 --> 00:40:49.280
 behaving

00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:49.920
 as

00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:50.260
 if

00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:50.500
 you

00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:51.139
 loved

00:40:51.139 --> 00:40:51.900
 someone

00:40:51.900 --> 00:40:53.099
 you

00:40:53.099 --> 00:40:53.319
 will

00:40:53.319 --> 00:40:54.039
 presently

00:40:54.039 --> 00:40:54.359
 come

00:40:54.359 --> 00:40:54.599
 to

00:40:54.599 --> 00:40:54.839
 love

00:40:54.839 --> 00:40:55.179
 them

00:40:55.179 --> 00:40:56.960
 if

00:40:56.960 --> 00:40:57.199
 you

00:40:57.199 --> 00:40:57.739
 injure

00:40:57.739 --> 00:40:58.400
 someone

00:40:58.400 --> 00:40:59.259
 you

00:40:59.259 --> 00:40:59.940
 dislike

00:40:59.940 --> 00:41:00.699
 you

00:41:00.699 --> 00:41:00.920
 will

00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:01.319
 find

00:41:01.319 --> 00:41:02.019
 yourself

00:41:02.019 --> 00:41:03.259
 disliking

00:41:03.259 --> 00:41:03.559
 them

00:41:03.559 --> 00:41:03.960
 more

00:41:03.960 --> 00:41:06.019
 he

00:41:06.019 --> 00:41:06.259
 made

00:41:06.259 --> 00:41:06.440
 the

00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:06.779
 point

00:41:06.779 --> 00:41:07.980
 controversially

00:41:07.980 --> 00:41:09.359
 in

00:41:09.359 --> 00:41:09.679
 world

00:41:09.679 --> 00:41:09.960
 war

00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:10.460
 ii

00:41:10.460 --> 00:41:12.139
 he

00:41:12.139 --> 00:41:12.559
 said

00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:13.420
 the

00:41:13.420 --> 00:41:14.099
 nazis

00:41:14.099 --> 00:41:14.379
 did

00:41:14.379 --> 00:41:14.659
 not

00:41:14.659 --> 00:41:15.719
 begin

00:41:15.719 --> 00:41:18.119
 did

00:41:18.119 --> 00:41:18.319
 not

00:41:18.319 --> 00:41:19.059
 begin

00:41:19.059 --> 00:41:20.639
 with

00:41:20.639 --> 00:41:21.879
 feelings

00:41:21.879 --> 00:41:22.359
 of

00:41:22.359 --> 00:41:22.819
 hatred

00:41:22.819 --> 00:41:23.579
 towards

00:41:23.579 --> 00:41:23.839
 the

00:41:23.839 --> 00:41:24.500
 jews

00:41:24.500 --> 00:41:26.279
 they

00:41:26.279 --> 00:41:26.819
 had

00:41:26.819 --> 00:41:27.399
 they

00:41:27.399 --> 00:41:28.039
 began

00:41:28.039 --> 00:41:29.439
 with

00:41:29.439 --> 00:41:30.639
 actions

00:41:30.639 --> 00:41:31.399
 of

00:41:31.399 --> 00:41:32.179
 hatred

00:41:32.179 --> 00:41:32.959
 towards

00:41:32.959 --> 00:41:33.259
 the

00:41:33.259 --> 00:41:33.959
 jews

00:41:33.959 --> 00:41:35.219
 which

00:41:35.219 --> 00:41:35.899
 grew

00:41:35.899 --> 00:41:36.519
 more

00:41:36.519 --> 00:41:36.859
 in

00:41:36.859 --> 00:41:37.699
 feelings

00:41:37.699 --> 00:41:38.319
 towards

00:41:38.319 --> 00:41:38.619
 the

00:41:38.619 --> 00:41:39.279
 jews

00:41:39.279 --> 00:41:39.279


00:41:39.279 --> 00:41:39.899
 which

00:41:39.899 --> 00:41:40.179
 grew

00:41:40.179 --> 00:41:40.559
 more

00:41:40.559 --> 00:41:40.839
 in

00:41:40.839 --> 00:41:41.419
 actions

00:41:41.419 --> 00:41:41.679
 of

00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:42.199
 hatred

00:41:42.199 --> 00:41:42.759
 towards

00:41:42.759 --> 00:41:43.039
 the

00:41:43.039 --> 00:41:43.519
 jews

00:41:43.519 --> 00:41:44.079
 which

00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:44.519
 grew

00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:44.899
 even

00:41:44.899 --> 00:41:45.319
 more

00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:45.600
 in

00:41:45.600 --> 00:41:46.620
 despising

00:41:46.620 --> 00:41:47.080
 them

00:41:47.080 --> 00:41:47.740
 and

00:41:47.740 --> 00:41:48.120
 calling

00:41:48.120 --> 00:41:48.400
 them

00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:48.780
 less

00:41:48.780 --> 00:41:49.039
 than

00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:49.360
 human

00:41:49.360 --> 00:41:49.940
 beings

00:41:49.940 --> 00:41:53.260
 the

00:41:53.260 --> 00:41:53.940
 actions

00:41:53.940 --> 00:41:54.960
 shape

00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:55.220
 the

00:41:55.220 --> 00:41:55.620
 heart

00:41:55.620 --> 00:41:55.860
 and

00:41:55.860 --> 00:41:56.039
 the

00:41:56.039 --> 00:41:56.320
 heart

00:41:56.320 --> 00:41:56.720
 shape

00:41:56.720 --> 00:41:56.960
 the

00:41:56.960 --> 00:41:57.559
 actions

00:41:57.559 --> 00:42:01.400
 our

00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:01.780
 culture

00:42:01.780 --> 00:42:02.220
 says

00:42:02.220 --> 00:42:02.460
 that

00:42:02.460 --> 00:42:02.840
 feelings

00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:03.100
 of

00:42:03.100 --> 00:42:03.360
 love

00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:03.460
 are

00:42:03.460 --> 00:42:03.600
 the

00:42:03.600 --> 00:42:04.019
 basis

00:42:04.019 --> 00:42:04.720
 for

00:42:04.720 --> 00:42:05.220
 actions

00:42:05.220 --> 00:42:05.440
 of

00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:05.740
 love

00:42:05.740 --> 00:42:06.160
 and

00:42:06.160 --> 00:42:06.340
 that

00:42:06.340 --> 00:42:06.640
 can

00:42:06.640 --> 00:42:06.860
 be

00:42:06.860 --> 00:42:07.260
 true

00:42:07.260 --> 00:42:07.880
 but

00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:08.080
 it

00:42:08.080 --> 00:42:08.300
 is

00:42:08.300 --> 00:42:08.600
 true

00:42:08.600 --> 00:42:08.800
 to

00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:09.180
 say

00:42:09.180 --> 00:42:09.680
 that

00:42:09.680 --> 00:42:10.140
 actions

00:42:10.140 --> 00:42:10.380
 of

00:42:10.380 --> 00:42:10.780
 love

00:42:10.780 --> 00:42:11.620
 can

00:42:11.620 --> 00:42:11.900
 lead

00:42:11.900 --> 00:42:12.900
 consistently

00:42:12.900 --> 00:42:13.280
 to

00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:13.740
 feelings

00:42:13.740 --> 00:42:13.960
 of

00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:14.280
 love

00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:15.360
 love

00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:15.680
 between

00:42:15.680 --> 00:42:16.000
 two

00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:16.560
 people

00:42:16.560 --> 00:42:17.519
 must

00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:17.900
 not

00:42:17.900 --> 00:42:18.080
 be

00:42:18.080 --> 00:42:18.600
 identified

00:42:18.600 --> 00:42:19.360
 simply

00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:19.580
 with

00:42:19.580 --> 00:42:20.060
 emotion

00:42:20.060 --> 00:42:21.640
 or

00:42:21.640 --> 00:42:22.380
 simply

00:42:22.380 --> 00:42:22.740
 with

00:42:22.740 --> 00:42:23.240
 dutiful

00:42:23.240 --> 00:42:24.000
 action

00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:25.480
 because

00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:25.760
 the

00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:26.120
 marriage

00:42:26.120 --> 00:42:26.700
 covenant

00:42:26.700 --> 00:42:27.700
 is a

00:42:27.700 --> 00:42:28.600
 complex

00:42:28.600 --> 00:42:29.180
 mixture

00:42:29.180 --> 00:42:29.960
 of both

00:42:29.960 --> 00:42:32.480
 but it

00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:32.880
 is the

00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:33.400
 action

00:42:33.400 --> 00:42:34.320
 of love

00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:36.080
 husbands

00:42:36.080 --> 00:42:37.660
 wives

00:42:37.659 --> 00:42:38.940
 the

00:42:38.940 --> 00:42:39.579
 unmarried

00:42:39.579 --> 00:42:40.000
 it

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:40.559
 is the

00:42:40.559 --> 00:42:41.559
 actions

00:42:41.559 --> 00:42:42.159
 of

00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:42.920
 love

00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:44.019
 that

00:42:44.019 --> 00:42:44.420
 you

00:42:44.420 --> 00:42:44.759
 have

00:42:44.759 --> 00:42:45.399
 control

00:42:45.399 --> 00:42:46.059
 over

00:42:46.059 --> 00:42:47.559
 you

00:42:47.559 --> 00:42:48.039
 don't

00:42:48.039 --> 00:42:48.639
 fall

00:42:48.639 --> 00:42:48.980
 into

00:42:48.980 --> 00:42:49.259
 the

00:42:49.259 --> 00:42:49.879
 ditch

00:42:49.879 --> 00:42:50.960
 of

00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:51.179
 the

00:42:51.179 --> 00:42:51.639
 actions

00:42:51.639 --> 00:42:51.879
 of

00:42:51.879 --> 00:42:52.399
 love

00:42:52.399 --> 00:42:53.579
 you

00:42:53.579 --> 00:42:54.440
 determine

00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:54.799
 to

00:42:54.799 --> 00:42:55.099
 make

00:42:55.099 --> 00:42:55.359
 them

00:42:55.359 --> 00:42:55.719
 commit

00:42:55.719 --> 00:42:56.000
 to

00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:56.239
 them

00:42:56.239 --> 00:42:58.279
 you

00:42:58.279 --> 00:42:59.000
 don't

00:42:59.000 --> 00:42:59.539
 have

00:42:59.539 --> 00:43:00.179
 control

00:43:00.179 --> 00:43:00.599
 over

00:43:00.599 --> 00:43:00.819
 your

00:43:00.819 --> 00:43:01.440
 feelings

00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:01.799
 of

00:43:01.799 --> 00:43:02.199
 love

00:43:02.199 --> 00:43:05.299
 and so

00:43:05.299 --> 00:43:05.779
 in the

00:43:05.779 --> 00:43:06.099
 marriage

00:43:06.099 --> 00:43:06.579
 ceremony

00:43:06.579 --> 00:43:07.699
 we

00:43:07.699 --> 00:43:08.159
 promise

00:43:08.159 --> 00:43:08.480
 to

00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:09.000
 maintain

00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:09.500
 the

00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:09.939
 actions

00:43:09.939 --> 00:43:10.179
 of

00:43:10.179 --> 00:43:10.659
 love

00:43:10.659 --> 00:43:11.960
 every

00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:12.259
 day

00:43:12.259 --> 00:43:15.799
 so

00:43:15.799 --> 00:43:15.980
 how

00:43:15.980 --> 00:43:16.219
 do we

00:43:16.219 --> 00:43:16.559
 do

00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:17.079
 that

00:43:17.079 --> 00:43:18.839
 how

00:43:18.839 --> 00:43:19.059
 do we

00:43:19.059 --> 00:43:19.219
 do

00:43:19.219 --> 00:43:19.419
 that

00:43:19.419 --> 00:43:19.559
 when

00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:19.659
 we

00:43:19.659 --> 00:43:19.879
 don't

00:43:19.879 --> 00:43:20.299
 feel

00:43:20.299 --> 00:43:20.619
 like

00:43:20.619 --> 00:43:20.980
 it

00:43:20.980 --> 00:43:22.819
 notice

00:43:22.819 --> 00:43:23.759
 again

00:43:23.759 --> 00:43:24.039
 what

00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:24.239
 he

00:43:24.239 --> 00:43:24.679
 says

00:43:24.679 --> 00:43:25.259
 husbands

00:43:25.259 --> 00:43:26.460
 love

00:43:26.460 --> 00:43:26.659
 your

00:43:26.659 --> 00:43:27.000
 this is

00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:27.219
 verse

00:43:27.219 --> 00:43:27.899
 25

00:43:27.899 --> 00:43:28.339
 husbands

00:43:28.339 --> 00:43:28.799
 love

00:43:28.799 --> 00:43:29.599
 your

00:43:29.599 --> 00:43:30.359
 wives

00:43:30.359 --> 00:43:30.719
 as

00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:31.299
 Christ

00:43:31.299 --> 00:43:31.859
 loved

00:43:31.860 --> 00:43:32.099
 the

00:43:32.099 --> 00:43:32.579
 church

00:43:32.579 --> 00:43:34.059
 and

00:43:34.059 --> 00:43:34.320
 gave

00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:34.700
 himself

00:43:34.700 --> 00:43:34.940
 up

00:43:34.940 --> 00:43:35.099
 for

00:43:35.099 --> 00:43:35.400
 her

00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:37.900
 Paul

00:43:37.900 --> 00:43:38.200
 doesn't

00:43:38.200 --> 00:43:38.440
 just

00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:38.860
 say

00:43:38.860 --> 00:43:39.320
 look

00:43:39.320 --> 00:43:39.620
 be

00:43:39.620 --> 00:43:39.780
 all

00:43:39.780 --> 00:43:40.300
 stoic

00:43:40.300 --> 00:43:41.000
 pull

00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:41.180
 up

00:43:41.180 --> 00:43:41.400
 your

00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:41.860
 socks

00:43:41.860 --> 00:43:42.160
 and

00:43:42.160 --> 00:43:42.440
 just

00:43:42.440 --> 00:43:42.760
 get

00:43:42.760 --> 00:43:42.940
 on

00:43:42.940 --> 00:43:43.099
 with

00:43:43.099 --> 00:43:43.440
 actions

00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:43.680
 of

00:43:43.680 --> 00:43:44.039
 love

00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:44.320
 just

00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:44.620
 do

00:43:44.620 --> 00:43:44.820
 the

00:43:44.820 --> 00:43:45.300
 actions

00:43:45.300 --> 00:43:46.380
 he

00:43:46.380 --> 00:43:47.039
 says

00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:48.039
 think

00:43:48.039 --> 00:43:48.500
 while

00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:48.740
 you

00:43:48.740 --> 00:43:49.120
 do

00:43:49.120 --> 00:43:51.559
 think

00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:51.900
 while

00:43:51.900 --> 00:43:52.120
 you

00:43:52.120 --> 00:43:52.420
 do

00:43:52.420 --> 00:43:54.760
 think

00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:55.380
 this

00:43:55.380 --> 00:43:57.000
 Jesus

00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:57.760
 is

00:43:57.760 --> 00:43:58.120
 on

00:43:58.120 --> 00:43:58.360
 the

00:43:58.360 --> 00:43:58.920
 cross

00:43:58.920 --> 00:44:00.320
 dying

00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:00.660
 for

00:44:00.660 --> 00:44:01.059
 you

00:44:01.059 --> 00:44:01.360
 as

00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:01.519
 the

00:44:01.519 --> 00:44:03.079
 atonal

00:44:03.079 --> 00:44:03.679
 death

00:44:03.679 --> 00:44:05.940
 atoning

00:44:05.940 --> 00:44:06.199
 for

00:44:06.199 --> 00:44:06.480
 your

00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:07.079
 sin

00:44:07.079 --> 00:44:08.219
 and

00:44:08.219 --> 00:44:08.340
 it

00:44:08.340 --> 00:44:08.539
 was

00:44:08.539 --> 00:44:08.980
 totally

00:44:08.980 --> 00:44:09.579
 unconditional

00:44:09.579 --> 00:44:10.519
 it

00:44:10.519 --> 00:44:10.699
 is

00:44:10.699 --> 00:44:10.940
 the

00:44:10.940 --> 00:44:11.460
 ultimate

00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:11.940
 act

00:44:11.940 --> 00:44:12.139
 of

00:44:12.139 --> 00:44:12.619
 love

00:44:12.619 --> 00:44:14.159
 and

00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:14.360
 on

00:44:14.360 --> 00:44:14.599
 the

00:44:14.599 --> 00:44:15.179
 cross

00:44:15.179 --> 00:44:16.239
 he

00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:16.679
 didn't

00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:19.099
 he

00:44:19.099 --> 00:44:19.340
 didn't

00:44:19.340 --> 00:44:19.960
 say

00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:22.780
 I'm

00:44:22.780 --> 00:44:22.960
 not

00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:23.199
 gonna

00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:24.239
 love

00:44:24.239 --> 00:44:24.679
 you

00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:25.340
 by

00:44:25.340 --> 00:44:25.739
 giving

00:44:25.739 --> 00:44:26.519
 my

00:44:26.519 --> 00:44:26.920
 life

00:44:26.920 --> 00:44:27.059
 for

00:44:27.059 --> 00:44:27.300
 your

00:44:27.300 --> 00:44:27.679
 life

00:44:27.679 --> 00:44:28.199
 because

00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:28.820
 frankly

00:44:28.820 --> 00:44:29.240
 you

00:44:29.240 --> 00:44:29.480
 are

00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:30.160
 you

00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:30.360
 don't

00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:30.820
 deserve

00:44:30.820 --> 00:44:31.019
 it

00:44:31.019 --> 00:44:31.260
 you

00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:31.539
 are

00:44:31.539 --> 00:44:32.880
 so

00:44:32.880 --> 00:44:34.340
 unattractive

00:44:34.340 --> 00:44:34.519
 to

00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:34.860
 me

00:44:34.860 --> 00:44:35.820
 you

00:44:35.820 --> 00:44:36.019
 don't

00:44:36.019 --> 00:44:36.420
 love

00:44:36.420 --> 00:44:36.920
 me

00:44:36.920 --> 00:44:38.360
 you're

00:44:38.360 --> 00:44:38.440
 not

00:44:38.440 --> 00:44:38.620
 my

00:44:38.620 --> 00:44:38.840
 body

00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:39.320
 type

00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:41.900
 you

00:44:41.900 --> 00:44:42.140
 put on

00:44:42.140 --> 00:44:42.380
 a few

00:44:42.380 --> 00:44:43.000
 pounds

00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:45.340
 you got a few

00:44:45.340 --> 00:44:45.720
 wrinkles

00:44:45.719 --> 00:44:50.179
 he

00:44:50.179 --> 00:44:50.359
 was

00:44:50.359 --> 00:44:50.879
 in

00:44:50.879 --> 00:44:51.359
 agony

00:44:51.359 --> 00:44:54.059
 and

00:44:54.059 --> 00:44:54.179
 he

00:44:54.179 --> 00:44:54.399
 looked

00:44:54.399 --> 00:44:54.599
 down

00:44:54.599 --> 00:44:54.739
 at

00:44:54.739 --> 00:44:55.279
 humanity

00:44:55.279 --> 00:44:56.379
 he

00:44:56.379 --> 00:44:56.579
 looked

00:44:56.579 --> 00:44:56.759
 down

00:44:56.759 --> 00:44:56.919
 at

00:44:56.919 --> 00:44:57.279
 you

00:44:57.279 --> 00:44:58.019
 he

00:44:58.019 --> 00:44:58.159
 looked

00:44:58.159 --> 00:44:58.319
 down

00:44:58.319 --> 00:44:58.459
 at

00:44:58.459 --> 00:44:58.759
 me

00:44:58.759 --> 00:44:58.959
 he

00:44:58.959 --> 00:44:59.099
 looked

00:44:59.099 --> 00:44:59.219
 down

00:44:59.219 --> 00:44:59.339
 at

00:44:59.339 --> 00:44:59.519
 you

00:44:59.519 --> 00:44:59.899
 husband

00:44:59.899 --> 00:45:00.219
 and

00:45:00.219 --> 00:45:01.099
 you

00:45:01.099 --> 00:45:01.559
 wife

00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:01.899
 and

00:45:01.899 --> 00:45:02.480
 looked

00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:02.719
 down

00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:03.119
 on

00:45:03.119 --> 00:45:03.500
 me

00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:03.919
 and

00:45:03.919 --> 00:45:04.399
 he

00:45:04.399 --> 00:45:04.679
 sees

00:45:04.679 --> 00:45:04.919
 us

00:45:04.919 --> 00:45:05.319
 denying

00:45:05.319 --> 00:45:05.719
 him

00:45:05.719 --> 00:45:05.879
 and

00:45:05.879 --> 00:45:06.539
 abandoning

00:45:06.539 --> 00:45:06.819
 him

00:45:06.819 --> 00:45:07.039
 and

00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:07.459
 rejecting

00:45:07.459 --> 00:45:07.859
 him

00:45:07.859 --> 00:45:08.039
 and

00:45:08.039 --> 00:45:08.599
 betraying

00:45:08.599 --> 00:45:08.919
 him

00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:09.659
 and

00:45:09.659 --> 00:45:09.780
 in

00:45:09.780 --> 00:45:09.960
 the

00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:10.460
 greatest

00:45:10.460 --> 00:45:11.099
 act

00:45:11.099 --> 00:45:11.380
 of

00:45:11.380 --> 00:45:11.840
 love

00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:12.099
 in

00:45:12.099 --> 00:45:12.639
 history

00:45:12.639 --> 00:45:14.220
 he

00:45:14.220 --> 00:45:14.900
 surrendered

00:45:14.900 --> 00:45:15.280
 his

00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:15.900
 life

00:45:15.900 --> 00:45:16.960
 he

00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:17.659
 stayed

00:45:17.659 --> 00:45:20.400
 even

00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:20.700
 while they

00:45:20.700 --> 00:45:21.260
 cursed

00:45:21.260 --> 00:45:21.460
 him

00:45:21.460 --> 00:45:21.800
 on the

00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:22.260
 cross

00:45:22.260 --> 00:45:22.780
 he

00:45:22.780 --> 00:45:23.519
 stayed

00:45:23.519 --> 00:45:24.760
 and

00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:24.920
 he

00:45:24.920 --> 00:45:25.360
 loved

00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:30.000
 he

00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:30.159
 said

00:45:30.159 --> 00:45:30.559
 father

00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:31.099
 forgive

00:45:31.099 --> 00:45:31.400
 them

00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:32.700
 they

00:45:32.700 --> 00:45:32.860
 don't

00:45:32.860 --> 00:45:32.980
 know

00:45:32.980 --> 00:45:33.119
 what

00:45:33.119 --> 00:45:33.360
 they're

00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:33.760
 doing

00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:37.340
 he

00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:37.800
 stayed

00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:37.980
 and

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 he

00:45:38.119 --> 00:45:38.380
 loved

00:45:38.380 --> 00:45:38.579
 not

00:45:38.579 --> 00:45:38.960
 because

00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:39.159
 we

00:45:39.159 --> 00:45:39.340
 were

00:45:39.340 --> 00:45:39.639
 lovely

00:45:39.639 --> 00:45:39.860
 to

00:45:39.860 --> 00:45:40.139
 him

00:45:40.139 --> 00:45:41.079
 but

00:45:41.079 --> 00:45:41.219
 he

00:45:41.219 --> 00:45:41.559
 stayed

00:45:41.559 --> 00:45:41.739
 to

00:45:41.739 --> 00:45:41.980
 make

00:45:41.980 --> 00:45:42.159
 us

00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:42.480
 lovely

00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:45.699
 and

00:45:45.699 --> 00:45:46.159
 that

00:45:46.159 --> 00:45:47.019
 is

00:45:47.019 --> 00:45:47.179
 the

00:45:47.179 --> 00:45:47.480
 power

00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:47.679
 to

00:45:47.679 --> 00:45:48.000
 keep

00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:48.539
 you

00:45:48.539 --> 00:45:48.739
 need

00:45:48.739 --> 00:45:48.819
 to

00:45:48.819 --> 00:45:48.960
 be

00:45:48.960 --> 00:45:49.400
 thinking

00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:49.819
 about

00:45:49.819 --> 00:45:51.519
 not

00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:51.679
 just

00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:52.059
 acting

00:45:52.059 --> 00:45:52.279
 but

00:45:52.279 --> 00:45:52.619
 thinking

00:45:52.619 --> 00:45:53.079
 about

00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:53.679
 and

00:45:53.679 --> 00:45:54.039
 pushing

00:45:54.039 --> 00:45:54.460
 that

00:45:54.460 --> 00:45:54.940
 down

00:45:54.940 --> 00:45:55.239
 into

00:45:55.239 --> 00:45:55.480
 your

00:45:55.480 --> 00:45:55.840
 hearts

00:45:55.840 --> 00:45:56.019
 to

00:45:56.019 --> 00:45:56.199
 keep

00:45:56.199 --> 00:45:56.659
 loving

00:45:56.659 --> 00:45:57.000
 your

00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:57.500
 spouse

00:45:57.500 --> 00:45:57.880
 even

00:45:57.880 --> 00:45:58.139
 when

00:45:58.139 --> 00:45:58.360
 you

00:45:58.360 --> 00:45:58.860
 think

00:45:58.860 --> 00:45:59.539
 they

00:45:59.539 --> 00:45:59.719
 are

00:45:59.719 --> 00:46:00.380
 unlovable

00:46:00.380 --> 00:46:02.719
 it

00:46:02.719 --> 00:46:02.860
 is

00:46:02.860 --> 00:46:03.219
 only

00:46:03.219 --> 00:46:03.900
 the

00:46:03.900 --> 00:46:04.319
 gospel

00:46:04.319 --> 00:46:05.039
 speaking

00:46:05.039 --> 00:46:05.480
 into

00:46:05.480 --> 00:46:05.739
 our

00:46:05.739 --> 00:46:06.139
 hearts

00:46:06.139 --> 00:46:06.480
 like

00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:06.920
 that

00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:07.960
 which

00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:08.280
 will give

00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:08.460
 us

00:46:08.460 --> 00:46:08.639
 the

00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:08.980
 power

00:46:08.980 --> 00:46:09.220
 to

00:46:09.220 --> 00:46:09.500
 fulfill

00:46:09.500 --> 00:46:09.699
 the

00:46:09.699 --> 00:46:10.119
 promises

00:46:10.119 --> 00:46:12.900
 and to

00:46:12.900 --> 00:46:13.220
 stay

00:46:13.919 --> 00:46:14.879
 that

00:46:14.879 --> 00:46:14.879


00:46:14.879 --> 00:46:14.879


00:46:14.879 --> 00:46:14.879


00:46:14.879 --> 00:46:14.879


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00:46:14.879 --> 00:46:15.399
 that

00:46:15.399 --> 00:46:15.399


00:46:15.399 --> 00:46:16.419
 that

00:46:16.419 --> 00:46:16.419


00:46:16.419 --> 00:46:16.699
 that

00:46:16.699 --> 00:46:17.419
 have

00:46:17.419 --> 00:46:17.419


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