WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.480 Hi everyone, I'm reading from the word today from Matthew chapter 19 verses 1 to 12. 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:33.219 From the beginning made them male and female. 00:00:33.380 --> 00:00:39.920 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. 00:00:40.519 --> 00:00:43.240 So they are no longer two but one flesh. 00:00:44.019 --> 00:00:47.340 What therefore God has joined together let no man separate. 00:00:48.420 --> 00:00:55.219 They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? 00:00:55.219 --> 00:01:04.980 He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 00:01:05.980 --> 00:01:13.239 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. 00:01:14.579 --> 00:01:21.180 The disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. 00:01:21.180 --> 00:01:27.600 But he said to them, not everyone can receive this saying, but only to those whom it is given. 00:01:28.700 --> 00:01:34.360 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men. 00:01:34.980 --> 00:01:40.180 There are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. 00:01:41.219 --> 00:01:44.320 Let the one who is able to receive this, receive it. 00:01:48.620 --> 00:01:50.080 Well, good morning, everyone. 00:01:51.180 --> 00:01:55.160 It's good to be back. 00:01:55.280 --> 00:02:00.660 And I just want to say a quick thank you to all the guys who are just working on that floor over there. 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:05.000 I know we're a bit keen to sardines today, but just thank you. 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:08.379 I just love the different gifts in the body of Christ. 00:02:08.500 --> 00:02:13.659 If I tried to do that, children will be falling through the floor, I think. 00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:16.480 So I just want to express my gratitude. 00:02:16.600 --> 00:02:18.980 I know people are doing lots else behind the scenes there. 00:02:18.979 --> 00:02:21.459 Let me pray as we come to God's word. 00:02:26.579 --> 00:02:32.500 Father, we're coming into a very emotionally charged topic. 00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:46.319 And I just ask for your spirit to be with us this morning in trusting your word and giving us a deeper vision of our Lord Jesus Christ. 00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:47.740 And I pray this in Jesus' name. 00:02:48.020 --> 00:02:48.319 Amen. 00:02:48.319 --> 00:02:56.039 Well, I don't know if you've been up this way, but driving... 00:02:56.039 --> 00:03:04.060 I go past Lookout Road and the roadworks going on there all the time, changing that bypass. 00:03:04.359 --> 00:03:06.319 And it's fascinating to see the progress. 00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:16.620 It's really quite impressive. 00:03:17.699 --> 00:03:21.519 We're living in an age of such technology. 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:27.079 It tempts us to see this world as raw materials. 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:34.360 That mankind, if we work together, we can shape anything according to our will. 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:36.120 We are gods. 00:03:39.500 --> 00:03:47.200 And yet, in that same horizon, seeing that impressive work going on, there's another huge project. 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:54.759 Two huge cranes making this massive expansion to John Hunter Hospital. 00:03:56.079 --> 00:03:57.199 Now, again, I am... 00:03:57.959 --> 00:03:59.599 That's impressive in its own right. 00:04:00.199 --> 00:04:02.419 Modern medicine, I am thankful for it. 00:04:02.679 --> 00:04:03.879 I thank God for it. 00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:05.439 It is impressive. 00:04:05.699 --> 00:04:09.299 And yet, it is this huge monument in our face. 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:11.299 We are not gods. 00:04:11.300 --> 00:04:19.780 The sickness and death, we are under curse for sin and rebellion. 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:22.660 And somehow, we just ignore that. 00:04:25.840 --> 00:04:29.819 Together, as a human race, we are under curse. 00:04:29.939 --> 00:04:30.980 We need healing. 00:04:32.580 --> 00:04:34.420 Our world needs healing. 00:04:34.939 --> 00:04:41.100 And the prophets, by God's word, promise a day for healing for the whole world, 00:04:41.100 --> 00:04:41.879 for the nations. 00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:45.480 And so, I don't want us to skip over this story. 00:04:45.620 --> 00:04:50.360 I was really tempted to just skip over verses 1 and 2, as if it's commonplace. 00:04:51.580 --> 00:04:54.860 Jesus is heading into Judea, towards Jerusalem. 00:04:55.060 --> 00:04:55.960 Crowds are following. 00:04:56.920 --> 00:04:58.640 And he healed them there. 00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:02.520 That's incredible. 00:05:02.660 --> 00:05:05.820 I know we're used to it, if you've been coming to church a long time. 00:05:05.819 --> 00:05:15.500 This one time when Emma, I think she was an intern or a resident working at John Hunter. 00:05:17.180 --> 00:05:21.779 And you know what the wait time in ED is usually like. 00:05:21.779 --> 00:05:32.299 This rare night, for an hour or two, there was so few admissions that doctors and nurses 00:05:32.299 --> 00:05:34.559 were playing a form of indoor cricket. 00:05:37.079 --> 00:05:39.919 It's hard to imagine that there was so few. 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:46.759 If Jesus walked past John Hunter Hospital today, all the beds would be emptied. 00:05:46.759 --> 00:05:50.879 They would be playing indoor cricket in every single ward. 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:53.879 In the mortuary, even. 00:05:56.120 --> 00:06:00.039 You could easily find a car park, which would be a miracle in itself. 00:06:02.039 --> 00:06:06.699 And yet, you see the blindness of the Pharisees here. 00:06:07.500 --> 00:06:09.579 They're totally ignoring that. 00:06:09.579 --> 00:06:11.279 And they come to test him. 00:06:14.060 --> 00:06:20.019 Now, testing, it's not asking a genuine question to get more information. 00:06:20.180 --> 00:06:20.879 That is good. 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:25.240 If you're exploring Christianity, for more information, ask questions. 00:06:25.339 --> 00:06:25.740 Absolutely. 00:06:26.939 --> 00:06:29.539 He's asking you to give your entire life to him. 00:06:30.139 --> 00:06:31.500 You can have doubts. 00:06:31.639 --> 00:06:32.560 You can ask questions. 00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:33.159 That's fine. 00:06:34.180 --> 00:06:38.199 Pharisees have already decided, way back in chapter 12, to destroy him. 00:06:39.579 --> 00:06:40.699 He's got to go. 00:06:41.039 --> 00:06:43.000 They've got to get rid of him, out of their lives. 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:49.680 And so they probably picked this topic of divorce because it is controversial, even at the time. 00:06:49.879 --> 00:06:51.939 Rabbis were debating it. 00:06:53.620 --> 00:06:58.259 Jesus had already publicly talked about this in the Sermon on the Mount. 00:06:59.899 --> 00:07:05.839 Maybe, like John the Baptist, when he spoke about Herod, his head got chopped off. 00:07:06.159 --> 00:07:08.659 Maybe they're hoping something similar will happen to Jesus. 00:07:09.579 --> 00:07:18.219 Or maybe they're hoping he will publicly contradict Moses, giving them grounds to get rid of him. 00:07:18.220 --> 00:07:34.380 As we come into this topic of marriage and divorce and remarriage and singleness, it is such a sensitive, emotionally high-stakes topic. 00:07:34.379 --> 00:07:48.180 Can I just pause as we come into it and ask us to beware of putting Jesus to the test, like the Pharisees do, on this one topic? 00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:52.740 I think many people do when it comes to relationships. 00:07:54.900 --> 00:08:02.120 If you're investigating Jesus or your situation right now, you feel like Jesus is asking too much of you, 00:08:02.120 --> 00:08:12.519 don't use this one area of human relationships to test Jesus and evaluate him and disregard the bigger picture. 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:18.620 Right before our eyes in this gospel, the Father is fully behind him. 00:08:18.740 --> 00:08:20.740 He is bringing healing to the world. 00:08:20.740 --> 00:08:27.920 Take the whole life and teaching and story of Jesus into account. 00:08:28.420 --> 00:08:29.960 He has come to bring healing. 00:08:34.560 --> 00:08:42.560 Well, the Pharisees, they try to lure him into a controversial argument about what Moses commanded about divorce. 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:50.299 And far from being trapped, his wisdom ends up exposing the Pharisees. 00:08:51.619 --> 00:08:53.899 He doesn't appeal to Deuteronomy. 00:08:54.059 --> 00:08:58.619 He goes right back to creation before sin entered the world. 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:05.439 The argument is the more original to God's design, the more weight should be given. 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:10.239 So Jesus answers verse 4 to 6. 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:16.340 Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, 00:09:16.700 --> 00:09:24.200 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. 00:09:24.680 --> 00:09:27.500 So they are no longer two but one flesh. 00:09:28.180 --> 00:09:32.919 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:40.679 The first poem, the first love song in human history. 00:09:41.579 --> 00:09:46.459 This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. 00:09:49.719 --> 00:09:58.599 God's very design of humanity in two biological sexes that correspond to two genders, male and female. 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:05.720 These two complementary natures are designed to be united in marriage. 00:10:09.060 --> 00:10:15.019 Anthropologists have found a form of marriage in every single culture in the world. 00:10:15.259 --> 00:10:18.420 In some form, obviously the rules and the rituals change. 00:10:18.419 --> 00:10:25.819 However rural you want to think, whatever time in history, there's a reason for that. 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:27.259 God invented it. 00:10:28.219 --> 00:10:29.819 It is in our nature. 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:33.059 It is not like schools. 00:10:34.699 --> 00:10:38.500 It's not like sports clubs. 00:10:38.719 --> 00:10:39.979 Marriage is God's idea. 00:10:39.980 --> 00:10:40.940 It is inherent. 00:10:41.899 --> 00:10:48.279 It's built into male and female to become one flesh. 00:10:50.060 --> 00:10:51.519 To become one body. 00:10:53.500 --> 00:11:00.840 And here we see, Jesus shows us what is the essence of marriage. 00:11:00.840 --> 00:11:06.240 You can get a lot of trappings, secondary things. 00:11:06.500 --> 00:11:07.800 But what's the essence? 00:11:08.019 --> 00:11:09.120 What is a marriage? 00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:10.780 What creates it? 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:11.300 What is it? 00:11:14.340 --> 00:11:17.320 It is something that goes deeper than blood. 00:11:19.259 --> 00:11:23.259 It's deeper than the allegiance of parents and adult children. 00:11:23.259 --> 00:11:26.460 Because one man leaves his father and mother. 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:29.080 That's an incredible bond. 00:11:30.840 --> 00:11:34.019 And yet, it's something deeper than that. 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:39.280 One man must leave and hold fast to one woman. 00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:45.840 That holding fast is by entering a covenant. 00:11:48.920 --> 00:11:54.560 I think some people think at the heart of relationships, our society, it talks about chemistry, doesn't it? 00:11:54.560 --> 00:11:57.100 The X factor or compatibility. 00:11:57.100 --> 00:12:01.320 But romance. 00:12:03.340 --> 00:12:05.560 But that's not at the essence. 00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:09.300 That flows out of holding fast. 00:12:11.379 --> 00:12:17.740 Some appeal to living under one roof and being sexually intimate. 00:12:17.920 --> 00:12:20.080 And they claim that they're married in God's eyes. 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:20.759 No. 00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:24.159 God has another word for that. 00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:26.139 That's sexual immorality. 00:12:28.139 --> 00:12:30.399 The essence of marriage isn't compatibility. 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:31.700 It's not feelings. 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.299 The essence isn't intimacy. 00:12:35.139 --> 00:12:36.139 That doesn't create marriage. 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.639 These things flow out of holding fast. 00:12:39.639 --> 00:12:40.639 That covenant. 00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:41.639 That covenant. 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:49.500 I've had to run a few weddings now. 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:51.939 And I've not had to. 00:12:52.019 --> 00:12:52.720 It's been a privilege. 00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:55.019 I just realised my wording there. 00:12:55.019 --> 00:13:00.600 Now, there are a bunch of details in a wedding ceremony. 00:13:01.039 --> 00:13:02.639 Quite honestly, I don't care. 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:09.799 I really don't care if the bridesmaids are exactly ten seconds apart as they walk in. 00:13:10.059 --> 00:13:13.600 If they want to do cartwheels coming down here, that would be quite impressive. 00:13:13.699 --> 00:13:14.220 I don't mind. 00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:16.319 I don't care. 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:20.100 But when it comes to the vows, I care. 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:25.700 Please don't ask me to do a marriage and then try and tell me what the vows are going to be. 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:33.320 Not everything goes because you and I both inherently know the vows are... 00:13:33.320 --> 00:13:37.940 That's the moment when the covenant is being made. 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:39.879 I think we all know it. 00:13:40.840 --> 00:13:42.340 There's silence in the room. 00:13:42.440 --> 00:13:44.760 I do not want the photographer blocking your view. 00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:48.139 This is a solemn, profound moment. 00:13:49.059 --> 00:13:51.840 And the vows are saying nothing about feelings. 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:55.659 I feel this or that for you right now. 00:13:55.799 --> 00:13:57.120 It's all future. 00:13:58.580 --> 00:13:59.259 Promises. 00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:01.860 Despite how I'm going to feel. 00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:05.279 Despite what you do. 00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:10.240 It's got nothing to do with how well you perform. 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:11.919 It's exclusive. 00:14:12.419 --> 00:14:13.200 It's total. 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:14.840 It's unconditional. 00:14:15.259 --> 00:14:16.300 Giving of oneself. 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:18.720 And it's this solemn in the sight of God. 00:14:19.040 --> 00:14:20.420 That's at the heart of... 00:14:20.420 --> 00:14:21.580 That's holding fast. 00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:23.060 That's what creates the covenant. 00:14:25.620 --> 00:14:28.460 With all that I am and all that I have, I honour you. 00:14:31.900 --> 00:14:35.280 That's the essence of one flesh. 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:38.659 And you can even do without... 00:14:38.659 --> 00:14:41.740 In a good marriage, you can do without the secondary things. 00:14:42.199 --> 00:14:46.639 And you can still have that essence of being one flesh. 00:14:47.319 --> 00:14:53.299 I heard of a story through the website Desiring God of a couple, Ian and Larissa. 00:14:53.659 --> 00:14:56.860 And when they were dating, he was about to propose. 00:14:57.659 --> 00:15:00.539 And he was in a car accident and he got brain damage. 00:15:00.539 --> 00:15:07.599 Now, he eventually recovered enough to be verbal enough for them to enter marriage. 00:15:09.199 --> 00:15:13.419 Now, Larissa says, Ian can't do the secondary things. 00:15:14.179 --> 00:15:15.279 Like working. 00:15:16.279 --> 00:15:18.059 Or making a meal for me. 00:15:19.219 --> 00:15:21.779 Everything primary, though, he can do. 00:15:22.419 --> 00:15:24.699 Which is leading me spiritually. 00:15:25.580 --> 00:15:29.780 Ian always comes back to the foundational truth of who God is. 00:15:30.280 --> 00:15:32.940 And if you watch their story on the website, 00:15:33.540 --> 00:15:36.440 there's just this beautiful moment where all he can say is, 00:15:37.280 --> 00:15:38.879 talking about God, he's awesome. 00:15:39.680 --> 00:15:41.000 That's what Ian can do. 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.560 I think it's just this beautiful picture of 00:15:46.560 --> 00:15:51.940 this one flesh holding fast through such adversity. 00:15:51.940 --> 00:15:56.640 And yet, they've got this common bond of worship of God. 00:15:56.820 --> 00:15:57.760 That's at the heart. 00:15:57.940 --> 00:16:00.900 That's at the essence. 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:05.580 God designed it. 00:16:05.860 --> 00:16:07.760 They're no longer two but one flesh. 00:16:08.280 --> 00:16:08.860 One body. 00:16:13.260 --> 00:16:14.820 And God doesn't play pretend. 00:16:15.140 --> 00:16:15.940 He's not pretending. 00:16:17.560 --> 00:16:19.080 There's something really profound. 00:16:19.080 --> 00:16:23.639 All the people in Emma's at home looking after some sick kids. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.200 But all of you, if you rejected me one day, 00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:27.320 all of you together, 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.500 that would hurt. 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:32.460 Like my parents and my family are in the room. 00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:33.720 That would really hurt. 00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:39.920 Put that on one side. 00:16:40.259 --> 00:16:41.340 Emma has more power. 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:44.740 She does. 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:45.340 You know it. 00:16:45.340 --> 00:16:50.660 She's got more power over me than all of you put together. 00:16:51.259 --> 00:16:51.879 There's something. 00:16:53.019 --> 00:16:53.920 God's designed it. 00:16:54.160 --> 00:16:56.540 There's such a fusion of lives. 00:16:57.860 --> 00:16:58.300 I don't know. 00:16:58.379 --> 00:17:00.920 It's hard to fully understand. 00:17:05.559 --> 00:17:08.440 And I think that's why some people find marriage so frightening. 00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:12.100 Maybe you're taking it seriously, which is good. 00:17:12.099 --> 00:17:21.279 Can I just pause to apply this real, in one area? 00:17:24.279 --> 00:17:29.480 If you're considering marriage and Christians are advising you, 00:17:29.639 --> 00:17:33.719 just please stop pursuing someone who doesn't believe in Jesus. 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:36.579 We're not being tribal there. 00:17:36.579 --> 00:17:41.179 We're not applying this arbitrary rule. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:45.779 Marriage goes deep to the core. 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.019 Your spouse sees your heart. 00:17:48.899 --> 00:17:53.559 And if your heart is love for God and they see that and reject that in you, 00:17:53.980 --> 00:17:58.379 you're asking for a life of pain. 00:17:58.380 --> 00:18:05.440 You're asking for deep, divided loyalty between Jesus and this person. 00:18:08.260 --> 00:18:12.100 Because God's design of this, it's not just a social agreement. 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:15.160 It really is the fusion of two into one. 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:24.400 It's a beautiful picture. 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:27.480 It's a beautiful thing. 00:18:27.700 --> 00:18:30.140 God has created and Jesus describes here. 00:18:31.300 --> 00:18:35.480 And it undercuts all the rabbinic debates in Jesus' day 00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:42.000 of the moral justifications for ending this social agreement. 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:46.720 A better way to phrase the question about divorce is, 00:18:47.140 --> 00:18:49.220 when can you amputate? 00:18:52.619 --> 00:18:54.700 Not when can you end an agreement. 00:18:55.339 --> 00:18:56.740 When can you amputate? 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:03.799 If you went to a doctor and while you're in the waiting room, 00:19:03.900 --> 00:19:08.759 you see one patient missing a hand and the next one missing an eye 00:19:08.759 --> 00:19:11.339 and another one with both arms removed, 00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:17.460 you might get a little nervous when your name is called to go see that doctor. 00:19:17.700 --> 00:19:20.619 And yet our society and a lot of so-called friends 00:19:20.619 --> 00:19:25.160 are so quick to advise leaving. 00:19:28.259 --> 00:19:30.759 Amputation should be the last resort. 00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:35.379 He does leave a concession here. 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:39.259 Sin can be pretty awful, 00:19:40.039 --> 00:19:44.480 but for survival it can be necessary. 00:19:48.700 --> 00:19:50.900 The Pharisees try to spring their trap. 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:55.180 Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce 00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:56.400 and to send her away? 00:19:56.500 --> 00:19:59.220 Are you contradicting Moses, Jesus? 00:19:59.220 --> 00:20:04.140 Now, they're no doubt talking about Deuteronomy 21, 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:05.480 and if you go look that up, 00:20:06.259 --> 00:20:09.440 Moses is not commanding divorce. 00:20:10.059 --> 00:20:11.839 It is a concession. 00:20:12.779 --> 00:20:17.299 He's saying if a married man marries wife A and divorces her, 00:20:17.579 --> 00:20:19.920 then marries wife B and divorces her, 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.700 he can't go back to wife A. 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:24.259 That's his main point, 00:20:24.759 --> 00:20:27.240 and I'm not going to go into why that's the case. 00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:31.480 So he's not commanding divorce as if... 00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:34.079 He's not endorsing divorce as wholly, 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:38.859 as if he's just conceding it. 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:45.359 He's conceding that the human heart is so opposed to God's ways 00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:48.519 and the very nature of our design as men and women, 00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:53.940 he gives this concession. 00:20:57.180 --> 00:21:00.019 The Pharisees seem to assume that the Mosaic law 00:21:00.019 --> 00:21:03.980 only functions to tell us what pleases God. 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:06.079 The law does that, absolutely, 00:21:06.379 --> 00:21:08.139 but there's another function of the law. 00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:17.720 Very recently, I started giving a children's New City catechism a go 00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:19.020 with Sam. 00:21:19.140 --> 00:21:20.620 He enjoys swiping the app. 00:21:21.780 --> 00:21:25.600 We were getting a little nervous with some of the questions 00:21:25.600 --> 00:21:27.180 because question after question, 00:21:27.300 --> 00:21:30.100 when it was going through the Mosaic law, 00:21:30.099 --> 00:21:33.419 it started to feel a bit moralistic. 00:21:34.119 --> 00:21:36.079 Do what God says and you'll live. 00:21:36.639 --> 00:21:38.759 But I should have read it ahead. 00:21:39.259 --> 00:21:45.559 But it was preparing for a climax in question 15. 00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:50.319 Since no one can keep the law, what is its purpose? 00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:55.279 Answer, that we may know the holy nature of God 00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:58.160 and the sinful nature of our hearts 00:21:58.160 --> 00:22:01.500 and thus our need of a saviour. 00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:11.160 God and man are so far apart when it comes to relationships. 00:22:11.379 --> 00:22:14.359 He unites, we try and separate. 00:22:17.160 --> 00:22:21.240 Like John Hunter Hospital was screaming that we're under curse, 00:22:21.779 --> 00:22:24.200 the breakdown of human relationships is, 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:28.039 should be screaming at us that sin, 00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:30.920 the effects of sin, we need healing. 00:22:32.700 --> 00:22:33.859 We need healing. 00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:33.960 We need healing. 00:22:42.660 --> 00:22:46.740 If the essence of marriage really is becoming one flesh, 00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:53.119 in God's eyes, even if legally divorced, 00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:56.919 if not for the reasons scripture is given, 00:22:57.819 --> 00:23:01.279 in his eyes, there's a one flesh that's still intact. 00:23:01.399 --> 00:23:02.559 It's committing adultery. 00:23:04.219 --> 00:23:05.859 He's joined together. 00:23:07.899 --> 00:23:10.879 I think it can help us understand the exception here 00:23:10.879 --> 00:23:14.059 where amputation is necessary. 00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:17.239 Well, not necessary, but an option. 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:22.960 Sexual immorality, it's a broad term. 00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:28.779 It covers adultery, but it covers all sexual immorality. 00:23:29.660 --> 00:23:35.779 There's something about it that violates and it breaks that one flesh. 00:23:35.779 --> 00:23:40.539 Now, it doesn't require getting divorced. 00:23:40.740 --> 00:23:45.180 Many Christians have found amazing healing and forgiveness 00:23:45.180 --> 00:23:50.359 and the rebuilding of trust, even with such deep betrayal. 00:23:50.359 --> 00:23:56.740 So there's the one exception. 00:23:58.639 --> 00:24:01.159 Look at 1 Corinthians 7 for another. 00:24:02.699 --> 00:24:04.299 Now, I just want to say at this point, 00:24:04.500 --> 00:24:07.399 Christians come to different convictions on this. 00:24:07.539 --> 00:24:09.559 There's so many passages you need to deal with 00:24:09.559 --> 00:24:12.959 and it's not my main point today to deal with it 00:24:12.959 --> 00:24:16.039 and the other part is I'm still working on it. 00:24:16.039 --> 00:24:20.240 I want to come to a full understanding myself. 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:24.299 Christians come to different places on this. 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:29.619 This passage can raise so many questions. 00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:31.740 I'm guessing it's provoking different responses. 00:24:35.579 --> 00:24:41.480 I think it can provoke searching for other justifications for separation. 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:47.120 It's probably raising the question of the difference between separation and divorce. 00:24:49.019 --> 00:24:56.400 This passage raises the sense of shame that people feel in the church, 00:24:56.539 --> 00:25:00.500 either real or imagined, even if you weren't at fault. 00:25:03.620 --> 00:25:08.960 Some will be feeling very convicted that you were the cause of a divorce breaking down. 00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:15.420 That it wasn't right in God's eyes to pursue that divorce. 00:25:18.099 --> 00:25:21.519 What if divorce was forced upon you by the person? 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:25.259 In 1 Corinthians 7, go read that. 00:25:25.880 --> 00:25:27.039 There's counsel there. 00:25:27.900 --> 00:25:29.259 Or come talk to me afterwards. 00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:36.400 I think this passage can even provoke a response of pride if you're not. 00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:44.620 As if somehow, by your own effort, you're superior to other Christians. 00:25:49.460 --> 00:25:53.560 I know I've just raised so many things, and I'm not going to deal with them properly. 00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:54.340 I'm so sorry. 00:25:54.420 --> 00:25:55.240 Come talk to me. 00:25:56.019 --> 00:26:00.880 But I want us to see the main thing I believe Matthew wants us to see. 00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:04.940 There is healing. 00:26:05.840 --> 00:26:07.260 There is healing. 00:26:07.260 --> 00:26:10.700 There is healing found in union with this king. 00:26:14.100 --> 00:26:20.400 The past two weeks in chapter 18, we've seen the human heart flirts with temptation. 00:26:21.580 --> 00:26:22.520 We flirt with it. 00:26:22.519 --> 00:26:33.740 I remember someone describing repentance like we turn away from sin, but we keep sin's phone number in our pocket. 00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:39.480 We flirt with sin when we should be gouging out our eye, Jesus says. 00:26:41.660 --> 00:26:43.740 We should be cutting off our hands. 00:26:43.740 --> 00:26:57.680 And then last week, the human heart is so unmerciful in not forgiving brothers and sisters when we've received so much more mercy from God. 00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:13.240 And here, the human heart rebels against our very nature as men and women, this one flesh union we love, and yet we can't do it. 00:27:13.740 --> 00:27:16.900 Matthew is painting a picture of the human heart. 00:27:24.099 --> 00:27:33.839 We are in the final moments of Jesus' life, and he's heading into Judea, and he's moving towards our sin. 00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:36.380 He's moving towards our hardness of heart. 00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:42.339 We are in a section of Matthew's Gospel in between the three predictions of his death. 00:27:42.339 --> 00:27:43.819 He knows what he's doing. 00:27:44.179 --> 00:27:48.919 He's heading into our hardness of heart to go to Jerusalem. 00:27:49.419 --> 00:27:54.859 I'm about to be delivered into the hands of men and be killed and be raised on the third day. 00:27:59.379 --> 00:28:02.339 Mankind loves to think of only self. 00:28:03.019 --> 00:28:05.619 Even the disciples react against this teaching. 00:28:05.619 --> 00:28:11.699 Our God thinks of himself as one flesh with you and me. 00:28:12.699 --> 00:28:17.599 He moves towards our sin to become one flesh with you and me. 00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:25.639 He really brings healing. 00:28:27.239 --> 00:28:29.259 Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. 00:28:29.259 --> 00:28:36.220 Repent of anything you need to repent of. 00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:37.440 Confess it to God. 00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:39.319 Mourn for it. 00:28:40.539 --> 00:28:44.920 But in union with this king, he loves to redeem even the hardest cases. 00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:51.019 If you look at the genealogy of Jesus in chapter 1, Rahab the prostitute. 00:28:53.100 --> 00:28:54.519 That's Sheba. 00:28:56.039 --> 00:28:58.300 The Christ came through them. 00:28:59.620 --> 00:29:00.400 He can redeem. 00:29:01.620 --> 00:29:02.660 He can cleanse. 00:29:02.660 --> 00:29:17.080 If you're feeling hopeless in your marriage, considering divorce, stop looking at your spouse and their disappointment. 00:29:18.220 --> 00:29:19.220 Look at your king. 00:29:20.980 --> 00:29:29.480 Despite your hardness of heart, he keeps his promises unconditionally, even to death, to have you. 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:31.960 There's the love you're craving. 00:29:36.039 --> 00:29:40.740 And if you've been rejected, that is deep pain. 00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:42.480 But here is healing too. 00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:46.000 Your king sees himself as one flesh with you. 00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:48.000 He wants you. 00:29:51.460 --> 00:29:54.880 Even this truth is the power against sexual morality. 00:29:54.880 --> 00:30:00.600 I really want to spend longer on 1 Corinthians 6. 00:30:01.080 --> 00:30:02.980 The preach to yourself. 00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:06.280 I'm united to him. 00:30:09.080 --> 00:30:13.780 That's the power to break the fake fulfillment that sexual morality offers. 00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:17.140 There's healing in this king. 00:30:17.580 --> 00:30:19.660 Moving towards our hardness of heart. 00:30:19.660 --> 00:30:28.300 In verses 10 to 12, we see the depths of this healing that he can bring to our souls, if you're willing to see it. 00:30:33.019 --> 00:30:38.900 The unconditional love of our king not only redeems human marriage. 00:30:38.900 --> 00:30:46.820 It not only gives that inner peace that can actually maintain a human marriage, that one flesh relationship. 00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:49.759 He fulfills marriage. 00:30:53.320 --> 00:31:02.880 Human marriage will one day be as obsolete as the ancient temple and the sacrificial system. 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:11.680 If you've tasted, if you've tasted the love of God in Jesus, the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus, 00:31:11.860 --> 00:31:15.460 if you've tasted, dare I say, the surpassing intimacy, 00:31:16.580 --> 00:31:22.720 you're not bothered by the fact that in heaven we're told there's no marriage. 00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:29.019 It should make us wonder and yearn. 00:31:29.100 --> 00:31:35.240 Like, how many stories grip our imagination about romance? 00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:45.539 We binge watch them, the songs, and yet it's going to be obsolete because something better is coming. 00:31:45.740 --> 00:31:47.680 It's already arrived in part. 00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:56.160 His disciples react against this whole one flesh thing, saying, gee, I want to, better not to marry. 00:31:56.380 --> 00:32:02.140 Now, they're just thinking of themselves, but Jesus takes their phrase and goes, you're right, it is better. 00:32:03.259 --> 00:32:03.980 It is better. 00:32:05.600 --> 00:32:10.200 In ancient times, eunuchs, high officials in the royal court, 00:32:10.840 --> 00:32:17.299 they were sexually altered so that they couldn't spoil the royal bloodline. 00:32:18.299 --> 00:32:23.680 Now, I've used this before, but Chez gave me the country metaphor of a bull becoming a steer. 00:32:26.080 --> 00:32:35.080 The alternative to the one flesh marriage is living a life of celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. 00:32:35.759 --> 00:32:37.220 Marriage is God's good idea. 00:32:37.340 --> 00:32:41.440 It is good, but it was always pointing forward to the real thing, the better thing. 00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:45.759 Singleness, devoted body and soul to Jesus is better. 00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:55.940 Someone who's engaged, there's a glow about them, isn't there? 00:32:55.940 --> 00:33:00.820 There's just a warmth of excitement. 00:33:01.600 --> 00:33:02.620 I don't know what it is. 00:33:03.320 --> 00:33:07.539 I think it's because they know they're loved. 00:33:07.539 --> 00:33:10.339 It's a public love. 00:33:12.099 --> 00:33:14.559 There's this future excitement. 00:33:14.740 --> 00:33:17.000 You can barely keep them in the present. 00:33:17.259 --> 00:33:19.619 Just, hello, I'm right in front of you. 00:33:19.940 --> 00:33:25.599 They're just thinking of the wedding day and their future and all their preparations. 00:33:25.819 --> 00:33:26.659 It's not work. 00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:29.319 It's a joy to all their preparations. 00:33:29.319 --> 00:33:32.480 Now, you come across some weird Christians. 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:46.079 A lot of you are weird because you come across these weirdos who, they're not engaged, and yet they've got this, they've got that glow. 00:33:47.779 --> 00:33:49.500 They've got that excitement. 00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:52.519 Their mind is in the future. 00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:54.500 You can barely keep them in the present. 00:33:54.980 --> 00:33:57.759 They see serving Jesus as a joy. 00:33:57.759 --> 00:34:09.159 Obviously, it's mixed with trials, but they're counting union with Jesus as better, as enough. 00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:18.360 Now, our secular age has no idea of the foretaste of heaven we've got. 00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:24.519 When we behold the glory of Christ by faith. 00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:28.539 But please notice here, it's voluntary. 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:33.800 Who have made themselves eunuchs. 00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:39.579 Now, like gouging out eyes, I'm hoping you take that as a metaphor. 00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:45.000 But in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says each of us has a gift. 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:46.539 Marriage is a good gift. 00:34:46.900 --> 00:34:48.400 Singleness is a good gift. 00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:50.119 Different gift. 00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:55.839 It's not wrong to pursue marriage with someone who belongs to Jesus. 00:34:56.679 --> 00:35:05.900 But Jesus is inviting you, if you're single, to choose to see singleness as a gift, as better. 00:35:05.900 --> 00:35:12.780 Sam Albury. 00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:17.079 He's a same-sex attracted pastor and author in the UK. 00:35:17.960 --> 00:35:19.160 I think I've talked about him before. 00:35:20.740 --> 00:35:23.240 He's counted the cost of following Jesus. 00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:26.660 He knows it's a life of celibacy. 00:35:26.659 --> 00:35:34.559 He's still, in his book, he talked about attending friends' marriages. 00:35:35.179 --> 00:35:38.480 And they keep getting married and there's an ache there. 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:39.519 There's a desire there. 00:35:39.579 --> 00:35:41.619 He kept praying for God to do something. 00:35:42.619 --> 00:35:45.059 He still longed for that romantic fulfilment. 00:35:45.059 --> 00:35:56.940 By the by, I know of some Christian couples who, one, is same-sex attracted and they sought lots of pastoral counsel, 00:35:57.539 --> 00:36:00.320 but they know marriage is fundamentally friendship. 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:08.059 I think there are situations where it is possible to have marriage in those cases. 00:36:08.059 --> 00:36:12.519 But Sam Albury, he prayed for God to do something. 00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:17.500 But there was this passing comment in his book that really stuck out to me, 00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:23.299 that over time he realised he wasn't praying to God to fulfil that desire in him. 00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:27.019 He just realised, it's not like it was a conscious decision. 00:36:28.179 --> 00:36:31.779 But over years he realised, I'm not praying for that as much anymore. 00:36:31.780 --> 00:36:41.340 If you ever thought of a situation where God is imposing celibacy, it's Sam Albury's kind of situation. 00:36:41.780 --> 00:36:42.700 Same-sex attracted. 00:36:44.100 --> 00:36:44.700 What else? 00:36:45.940 --> 00:36:46.680 No hope. 00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:48.140 But it was still voluntary. 00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:52.960 Over time he was choosing, without even realising it, 00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:59.340 he was choosing to count knowing Jesus and serving him as better. 00:36:59.340 --> 00:37:01.980 That's enough. 00:37:06.180 --> 00:37:12.460 So can I just finish with saying, whether you've never been married, 00:37:12.680 --> 00:37:15.420 whether you're single again through divorce or widow, 00:37:17.019 --> 00:37:24.340 this bridegroom is shooing you, despite our hardness of heart, 00:37:24.340 --> 00:37:28.760 he is inviting you to come and find that he is better. 00:37:30.019 --> 00:37:36.059 Come find out how deep that healing is that he brings, 00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:38.400 that you can even count him as better. 00:37:41.220 --> 00:37:42.180 Will you pray for me? 00:37:42.340 --> 00:37:42.640 Let's pray. 00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:57.859 Father, I pray that you would work in each of our hearts. 00:37:57.940 --> 00:37:59.199 You know where each of us are at. 00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:01.799 Some of us are really deeply hurting. 00:38:03.299 --> 00:38:04.539 Others are complacent. 00:38:04.659 --> 00:38:05.859 Others of us are proud. 00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:14.180 Lord, please speak to us where we're at and fill us with the beauty of your design, 00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:23.280 not only of human marriage, but that you always intended to unite yourself with us. 00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:28.600 Lord, I pray for those who are struggling with sexual immorality. 00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:39.780 Father, I pray that we would know the forgiveness and the transforming power of knowing that you accept us, 00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:40.720 even as we are. 00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:46.340 And I pray that you would change us, knowing that you love us, even despite that. 00:38:47.060 --> 00:38:49.480 Lord, do all these things in Jesus' name. 00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:50.019 Amen. 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:38:50.019 00:38:50.019 --> 00:39:20.000 Thank you.