WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.480 You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:09.560 Our passion is to experience and express grace. 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:10.640 Join us. 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:13.620 Pray with me. 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:20.300 Father, thanks for a love like that. 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:24.359 Love that never lets us go. 00:00:27.800 --> 00:00:29.460 Where would we be without it? 00:00:29.460 --> 00:00:30.480 What would our hope be? 00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:43.700 It's only a love like that that could even enable us to look honestly at the darkness of our hearts and our lives without just despairing. 00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:53.719 And so would you reassure us of that love this morning as we look at your word, at a challenging part of it? 00:00:54.400 --> 00:00:57.900 And Father, by your Spirit, please do challenge us. 00:00:57.899 --> 00:01:05.560 Would you do so well, would you comfort those who are afflicted? 00:01:06.359 --> 00:01:10.819 Holy Spirit, come and do that as we look at your word. 00:01:10.819 --> 00:01:13.159 We ask it in Jesus' name. 00:01:14.219 --> 00:01:14.500 Amen. 00:01:18.179 --> 00:01:25.219 This morning we're going to look at God's word together on the issue of marriage and divorce. 00:01:25.219 --> 00:01:32.480 Divorce, a significant and sensitive issue in our culture, in our lives. 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:36.599 You've probably heard a lot of statistics about divorce. 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:48.459 Divorce, while the 50% of marriages end in divorce one has never been true in the U.S., divorce does seem often to be all around us, doesn't it? 00:01:48.459 --> 00:01:54.519 Another one you've probably heard is that Christians get divorced at the same rate as anyone else. 00:01:55.239 --> 00:01:58.479 Again, not true according to the best statistics. 00:01:59.119 --> 00:02:06.599 But still, it's very believable for us because many of us in this room have endured the pain of divorce. 00:02:06.599 --> 00:02:11.039 Most all of us have a family member who has. 00:02:11.479 --> 00:02:16.240 And we've seen the reality of it, the hurt of it, the difficulty there. 00:02:17.560 --> 00:02:23.099 Over the last 10 years or so, I've talked with a lot of people considering divorce. 00:02:23.979 --> 00:02:31.819 And I often hear things like this, things that reflect on our vision, our goals for marriage. 00:02:31.819 --> 00:02:49.639 I hear people say, her unreasonableness, his uncontrolled anger, her demeaning distance, his emotional neglect, whatever it may be, is not something I can live with any longer. 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:57.900 Or, I know God doesn't like divorce, but He doesn't like unhappy marriages either. 00:02:57.900 --> 00:03:02.240 Or, God doesn't want me or my kids to be unhappy. 00:03:02.340 --> 00:03:05.520 I know He wouldn't want us living like this. 00:03:06.700 --> 00:03:10.920 And there's an element of truth in those statements, isn't there? 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:19.680 In a culture flooded with divorce, it makes sense that when I'm miserable in my marriage, I need to get out. 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:29.620 I notice similar things actually at the other end of marriage when I talk with those at the beginning, maybe in premarital counseling, for example. 00:03:29.879 --> 00:03:36.360 If you ask them why they're getting married, you'll hear things like, I just like being with her. 00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:41.480 Or, we're really a great partnership, we get along so well. 00:03:41.479 --> 00:03:45.479 Or, I just realized I can't live without Him. 00:03:47.799 --> 00:03:55.759 A little bit different words and wonderful things to feel, but you may hear a similar focus. 00:03:56.519 --> 00:04:02.280 All of these seemingly focus on a relationship that exists to fulfill me, right? 00:04:02.799 --> 00:04:07.459 Isn't that the natural way that we think about relationships and marriage in particular? 00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:10.679 It's here to help me become the best version of me. 00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:13.520 We might call it self-actualization. 00:04:14.819 --> 00:04:25.480 So, it's no surprise when a few months or years in and my spouse doesn't seem to be helping me feel good about myself and be the best that I can be. 00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:27.100 In fact, it feels quite different. 00:04:27.540 --> 00:04:28.420 I need another plan. 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:38.060 It's not just our culture that has focused on self or that has promoted divorce. 00:04:38.060 --> 00:04:43.759 Jesus encountered the same situation with the Pharisees, the religious teachers of His day. 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:52.899 Some rabbis did teach that divorce should be very rare, but many of them taught that a man could get a divorce for just about any reason, 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:57.759 including some who taught that if dinner was overcooked, that was grounds for divorce. 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:03.420 Or if a man found another woman he found more attractive than his wife, that was grounds for a divorce. 00:05:03.779 --> 00:05:08.560 You see, basically for anything that one came up with. 00:05:09.180 --> 00:05:15.319 And so, as we've been reading and studying through Luke, we came to this passage back before Easter, 00:05:15.319 --> 00:05:22.800 and what Jesus is doing in Luke 16 is challenging the Pharisees about their attitude actually towards money. 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:29.620 That's primarily what he's been talking about here and how they have a low view of God's law 00:05:29.620 --> 00:05:34.839 that actually calls them to sacrificial generosity and they've lowered that bar way down here. 00:05:34.839 --> 00:05:44.579 And while he's talking about it, he mentions as another example of them lowering the bar of God's law, 00:05:45.159 --> 00:05:46.819 their view on divorce. 00:05:47.359 --> 00:05:51.079 It seems to be a common place to drop that standard. 00:05:51.219 --> 00:05:55.079 Luke 16 at verse 18, Jesus says, 00:05:55.079 --> 00:06:10.079 Adultery. 00:06:10.839 --> 00:06:12.060 They heard that, didn't they? 00:06:12.419 --> 00:06:13.180 They knew the law. 00:06:13.799 --> 00:06:14.919 That's one of the big ten. 00:06:17.459 --> 00:06:18.740 That grabbed their attention. 00:06:20.299 --> 00:06:21.479 What's going on here? 00:06:21.539 --> 00:06:22.979 What's Jesus doing? 00:06:22.979 --> 00:06:24.939 They know not to take adultery. 00:06:25.079 --> 00:06:27.819 Adultery being unfaithfulness. 00:06:28.779 --> 00:06:30.959 The breaking of a promise. 00:06:31.779 --> 00:06:36.599 The breaking of the bond of a relationship and a commitment to someone else. 00:06:37.699 --> 00:06:43.860 It doesn't take long to see that Jesus' view of divorce is a bit different for Mars, does it? 00:06:44.939 --> 00:06:51.959 He reaffirms this strong passion for marriage and strong distaste for divorce in another conversation 00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:57.560 with the Pharisees where they actually ask him about marriage and divorce specifically. 00:06:57.560 --> 00:07:04.259 So he gives a much fuller explanation than he does here when he's just using it as an example about something else. 00:07:04.299 --> 00:07:06.779 Let me read that for you in Matthew 19. 00:07:06.779 --> 00:07:36.419 In other words, don't get divorced. 00:07:36.420 --> 00:07:42.300 So they said, well, why then did Moses command one to give her certificate of divorce and to send her away? 00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:44.300 Why is that in the Old Testament? 00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:48.819 And Jesus says, if we keep going into verse 8 on the next slide, 00:07:48.819 --> 00:07:55.019 Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. 00:07:55.860 --> 00:07:58.560 But from the beginning, it was not so. 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:06.439 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. 00:08:06.439 --> 00:08:09.759 The disciples understood what he was saying. 00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:14.939 And in their response, they said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it's better not to marry. 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:17.279 Wow. 00:08:18.420 --> 00:08:24.279 Jesus says again, divorce except in very specific circumstances is adultery. 00:08:25.139 --> 00:08:26.100 Don't do it. 00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:28.899 And we're not misunderstanding him. 00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:33.059 That challenges our personal and cultural sensibilities, doesn't it? 00:08:33.059 --> 00:08:37.039 It certainly did for the disciples when they heard it. 00:08:38.819 --> 00:08:39.819 Quick side note. 00:08:40.119 --> 00:08:45.919 If God and his word never challenge our personal and cultural sensibilities, 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:49.759 we're probably not listening to it very honestly. 00:08:51.239 --> 00:08:52.199 Think about that. 00:08:52.459 --> 00:08:56.779 God being God and us being not God, 00:08:56.779 --> 00:09:02.740 if nothing he said ever challenged our hearts or stretched us beyond what seemed right to us, 00:09:03.079 --> 00:09:06.100 we would need to wonder why that was, 00:09:06.179 --> 00:09:08.120 why we just naturally knew so well. 00:09:08.740 --> 00:09:11.579 This is one of those points where it stretches us a bit, doesn't it? 00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.199 Let's not write it off. 00:09:14.839 --> 00:09:16.179 It is God's word. 00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:20.959 Let's ask Jesus, why set the bar so high for divorce? 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:27.160 I think to understand Jesus' strong passion against divorce, 00:09:27.320 --> 00:09:31.820 we have to understand his strong passion for marriage. 00:09:33.040 --> 00:09:35.440 It's what he keeps referencing here. 00:09:35.540 --> 00:09:42.000 God's purpose for marriage is much different from what our approach usually is 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:44.420 and where our goals are typically focused. 00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:48.519 See, for God from the very beginning when he invented marriage, 00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:49.379 which he did, didn't he? 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:54.559 He invented it to have a purpose that was God-centered first, 00:09:54.659 --> 00:09:56.539 not merely man-centered. 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:01.439 To display who God is and how he loves. 00:10:02.100 --> 00:10:03.699 That's what was on his heart. 00:10:03.939 --> 00:10:08.579 I love to think of it, and you've heard me talk about it in terms of storytelling, right? 00:10:08.759 --> 00:10:15.759 That we get this privilege to share the great story of God's work in all of history in relationship. 00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:19.860 Because that's really where it starts, Jesus says. 00:10:19.939 --> 00:10:23.620 God created us, male and female, in his image. 00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:30.360 And Jesus, in that passage we just read, goes all the way back to Genesis 2, in the garden, 00:10:30.779 --> 00:10:35.679 and says relationships are part of the way that we reflect the image of God, 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:38.000 Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 00:10:38.419 --> 00:10:40.840 We're to reflect his image in all of our relationships, 00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:49.220 and especially in our marriages where Paul says we tell the story of the love of Jesus 00:10:49.220 --> 00:10:54.000 for his bride, the church, that particular relationship. 00:10:54.940 --> 00:10:56.460 You remember Ephesians chapter 5? 00:10:57.940 --> 00:11:02.180 Paul 2, like Jesus, goes all the way back to Genesis chapter 2 00:11:02.180 --> 00:11:05.360 and explains what marriage was designed for. 00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:09.019 A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:10.740 and the two shall become one flesh. 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:13.659 And Paul says this mystery is profound. 00:11:13.860 --> 00:11:18.060 I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:11:18.620 --> 00:11:21.019 That's what God was up to. 00:11:21.539 --> 00:11:23.220 A profound mystery. 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:27.960 But marriage about Christ and the church. 00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:32.300 That's the great story our marriages are to tell. 00:11:32.299 --> 00:11:37.519 So I think what we have to do is remember that great love story, 00:11:37.599 --> 00:11:39.759 the greatest of all love stories, 00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:42.559 what's going on in that story that we're supposed to reflect, 00:11:42.699 --> 00:11:45.019 that we're supposed to tell in our marriages. 00:11:45.599 --> 00:11:47.719 Just a few minutes, we're going to look at it 00:11:47.719 --> 00:11:53.120 to help us see why divorce is so abhorrent to God, 00:11:53.859 --> 00:11:57.839 and also why it's so painful for us. 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:04.980 It's a true Cinderella story where a princess who's intended for glory 00:12:04.980 --> 00:12:10.220 is lost and abandoned and broken in need of rescue. 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:14.620 And the prince of heaven comes on a rescue mission, doesn't he? 00:12:14.820 --> 00:12:18.820 To find this princess and at the cost of his own life 00:12:18.820 --> 00:12:23.160 to restore her to the beauty and glory that she was created for. 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:24.680 And he does that. 00:12:25.100 --> 00:12:26.500 He marries her, in fact. 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:28.460 She delights in his love, 00:12:28.580 --> 00:12:32.259 and they live in intimate relationship happily ever after. 00:12:35.139 --> 00:12:37.820 Three things, particularly in this story, 00:12:38.399 --> 00:12:39.899 that we see about God. 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:45.759 The first is we see God's purifying grace on display in this story 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:49.500 where failings are met with forgiveness. 00:12:51.080 --> 00:12:54.379 It's this way from the very beginning of the relationship, actually. 00:12:54.379 --> 00:12:57.799 I'm not going to read all of Ezekiel chapter 16 this morning. 00:12:57.899 --> 00:12:58.519 It's kind of long. 00:12:59.220 --> 00:13:00.840 But you should do that this afternoon. 00:13:00.980 --> 00:13:02.120 Ezekiel 16. 00:13:02.620 --> 00:13:06.299 God describes finding Israel, his people, for the first time 00:13:06.299 --> 00:13:10.240 as a baby born and never washed, 00:13:11.580 --> 00:13:14.340 lying in its blood, weak, undesirable. 00:13:15.100 --> 00:13:17.639 And he, rather than rejecting her, 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:21.480 tells the rest of the story in terms of marriage. 00:13:21.480 --> 00:13:22.560 Verse 8. 00:13:23.560 --> 00:13:27.220 I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, 00:13:27.320 --> 00:13:28.399 declares the Lord God, 00:13:28.519 --> 00:13:29.779 and you became mine. 00:13:30.279 --> 00:13:32.379 Then I bathed you with water 00:13:32.379 --> 00:13:34.720 and washed off your blood from you 00:13:34.720 --> 00:13:36.560 and anointed you with oil. 00:13:37.820 --> 00:13:40.300 And your renown went forth among the nations 00:13:40.300 --> 00:13:41.440 because of your beauty. 00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:44.420 For it was perfect through the splendor 00:13:44.420 --> 00:13:46.420 that I had bestowed on you, 00:13:46.980 --> 00:13:48.019 declares the Lord God. 00:13:48.019 --> 00:13:48.919 This is what happens. 00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:52.399 In his grace, he comes to one not deserving of anything, 00:13:52.539 --> 00:13:54.079 not beautiful at all. 00:13:54.439 --> 00:13:57.519 And he loves the unlovely. 00:13:59.179 --> 00:14:01.220 He doesn't merely overlook the weakness, 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:06.199 but he washes, cleanses, purifies in his grace. 00:14:06.899 --> 00:14:07.960 And then you know what happens 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:09.699 in the next 40 verses or so? 00:14:09.700 --> 00:14:12.020 Israel runs off. 00:14:13.100 --> 00:14:16.180 Dirties herself with the nations of the world 00:14:16.180 --> 00:14:18.200 and their idolatry, adultery. 00:14:19.900 --> 00:14:22.220 And God says this in verse 60. 00:14:23.900 --> 00:14:25.960 Yet, despite all that you've done, 00:14:26.220 --> 00:14:28.900 yet I will remember my covenant with you 00:14:28.900 --> 00:14:30.160 in the days of your youth, 00:14:30.420 --> 00:14:33.040 and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant. 00:14:33.520 --> 00:14:35.320 I will establish my covenant with you, 00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:37.080 and you shall know that I am the Lord, 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:39.360 that you may remember and be confounded 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:41.040 and never open your mouth again 00:14:41.040 --> 00:14:42.220 because of your shame. 00:14:42.620 --> 00:14:45.220 When I atone for you 00:14:45.220 --> 00:14:47.120 for all that you have done, 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:49.259 declares the Lord God. 00:14:50.060 --> 00:14:51.700 That covenant commitment, 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:54.120 no matter what the other one did, 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.860 intended never to be broken, 00:14:56.300 --> 00:14:59.379 that's why divorce is so painful, isn't it? 00:15:00.540 --> 00:15:04.020 Several of my friends who have experienced divorce 00:15:04.019 --> 00:15:05.439 said to me this week, 00:15:05.860 --> 00:15:07.360 that no matter what else they felt 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:08.620 in their divorce, 00:15:09.779 --> 00:15:11.319 no matter what the circumstances, 00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:13.579 the pain, 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:16.179 the breaking of that relationship 00:15:16.179 --> 00:15:17.519 is so awful. 00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:20.460 It hurts so deeply. 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:22.620 It's like tearing apart two things 00:15:22.620 --> 00:15:25.120 that were never meant to be separated. 00:15:25.259 --> 00:15:26.139 It hurts. 00:15:26.139 --> 00:15:29.539 And God has given us 00:15:29.539 --> 00:15:32.199 this purifying grace. 00:15:32.360 --> 00:15:35.439 It's often painful in its application too, 00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:38.919 but it ultimately washes the dirtiest, 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:41.519 forgives the biggest failures, 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:44.600 and makes beautiful the ugliest 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:45.799 and most undeserving. 00:15:45.899 --> 00:15:47.399 That's what God does 00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:49.100 in His relationship with us. 00:15:51.179 --> 00:15:52.980 So then as we get to the middle of the story, 00:15:52.980 --> 00:15:55.899 at the real climax of it, 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:58.500 we see God's sacrificial love. 00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:01.399 It's a story where sacrifice 00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:02.580 is not a burden, 00:16:03.500 --> 00:16:04.580 but a delight. 00:16:04.899 --> 00:16:06.720 Where it's not a path to misery, 00:16:06.899 --> 00:16:08.840 but a road to glory, isn't it? 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:11.480 The Father sends His only Son, 00:16:11.580 --> 00:16:12.180 the Prince, 00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:14.639 who sacrifices His rights 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:16.720 as the Prince of Heaven. 00:16:17.139 --> 00:16:19.779 Who sacrifices His riches and comforts 00:16:19.779 --> 00:16:21.399 as the heir of all things. 00:16:21.399 --> 00:16:25.019 Who sacrifices eventually His very life 00:16:25.019 --> 00:16:27.779 in order to marry the princess. 00:16:28.740 --> 00:16:31.679 In order to make the unworthy one worthy. 00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:34.579 That's the picture that Paul paints 00:16:34.579 --> 00:16:35.699 in Philippians 2 00:16:35.699 --> 00:16:36.779 when Jesus, 00:16:37.059 --> 00:16:39.799 rather than clinging to heaven's glories, 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:42.600 lets go of them. 00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:44.240 He humbles Himself 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:48.319 and sacrifices His life for us. 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:49.779 But He did that all 00:16:49.779 --> 00:16:51.360 not out of some obligation, 00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:53.220 but out of love, right? 00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:55.139 Out of His love for us 00:16:55.139 --> 00:16:57.480 because of the joy set before Him 00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:00.299 that He endured the cross. 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:02.959 He suffered certainly, 00:17:03.199 --> 00:17:04.099 unimaginably, 00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:05.920 but purchased for Himself 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:08.160 a bride whom He loves, 00:17:08.399 --> 00:17:11.259 with whom He will enjoy glory forever. 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:13.859 And that was the path there. 00:17:13.859 --> 00:17:17.219 It's a concept of sacrifice 00:17:17.219 --> 00:17:20.159 that we know very little about these days, 00:17:20.199 --> 00:17:20.619 isn't it? 00:17:21.879 --> 00:17:24.859 Divorce often offers to us fulfillment 00:17:24.859 --> 00:17:27.019 in other people, 00:17:27.139 --> 00:17:28.359 in other situations, 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:31.559 whatever it takes 00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:33.359 to take care of number one. 00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:35.799 But marriage 00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:37.459 is not meant to be merely 00:17:37.459 --> 00:17:39.719 a rejection of personal fulfillment 00:17:39.719 --> 00:17:40.819 into misery 00:17:40.819 --> 00:17:42.639 for the sake of someone else, 00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:43.700 but rather, 00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:45.200 in the steps of the one 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:46.259 who designed us 00:17:46.259 --> 00:17:47.439 and invented marriage, 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:49.799 it's finding mutual fulfillment 00:17:49.799 --> 00:17:52.500 through mutual sacrifice. 00:17:55.500 --> 00:17:56.599 Finally, as we get 00:17:56.599 --> 00:17:58.179 toward the end of the story, 00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:00.039 marriage is to display 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:02.679 God's tenacious faithfulness. 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:05.740 It's to tell the story 00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:06.740 of a God 00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:07.740 who continues 00:18:07.740 --> 00:18:08.799 to pursue 00:18:08.799 --> 00:18:09.940 the unfaithful 00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:10.720 with love 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:13.080 rather than punishing them 00:18:13.080 --> 00:18:14.500 with rejection. 00:18:16.140 --> 00:18:17.039 The prophet Hosea 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.840 tells that part of the story 00:18:18.840 --> 00:18:19.660 really well 00:18:19.660 --> 00:18:20.759 through his own life 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:23.200 as God sends him 00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:24.680 to marry a prostitute 00:18:24.680 --> 00:18:26.420 in order to teach God's people 00:18:26.420 --> 00:18:28.680 about His love for them 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:29.740 in the midst of their 00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:31.740 adulterous idolatry. 00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:33.759 Listen to how Hosea 00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:35.900 describes God's faithfulness 00:18:35.900 --> 00:18:37.900 to an unfaithful people. 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:39.460 In that day, 00:18:39.539 --> 00:18:40.440 declares the Lord, 00:18:40.560 --> 00:18:41.440 you will call me 00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:42.220 my husband 00:18:42.220 --> 00:18:43.220 and no longer 00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:43.880 will you call me 00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:44.500 my Baal. 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:45.820 For I will remove 00:18:45.820 --> 00:18:46.980 the names of the Baals 00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:47.740 from her mouth 00:18:47.740 --> 00:18:49.019 and they shall be remembered 00:18:49.019 --> 00:18:50.000 by name no more 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:50.759 and I'll make for them 00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:52.120 a covenant on that day 00:18:52.120 --> 00:18:52.759 with the beasts 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:53.279 of the field, 00:18:53.380 --> 00:18:54.200 the birds of the heavens, 00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:55.380 the creeping things 00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:55.880 of the ground. 00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:57.000 I'll abolish the bow, 00:18:57.100 --> 00:18:57.500 the sword, 00:18:57.580 --> 00:18:58.759 and war from the land 00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:00.140 and I will make you 00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:01.299 lie down in safety. 00:19:01.299 --> 00:19:03.119 I will betroth you 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:05.680 to me forever. 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:08.119 I will betroth you 00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:09.519 to me in righteousness 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:10.619 and in justice, 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:13.819 in steadfast love 00:19:13.819 --> 00:19:14.579 and mercy. 00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:16.899 I will betroth you 00:19:16.899 --> 00:19:18.579 to me in faithfulness 00:19:18.579 --> 00:19:20.740 and you shall know 00:19:20.740 --> 00:19:21.799 the Lord. 00:19:22.639 --> 00:19:24.099 I will betroth you 00:19:24.099 --> 00:19:26.299 to me in faithfulness 00:19:26.299 --> 00:19:28.119 forever. 00:19:28.119 --> 00:19:28.239 forever. 00:19:29.439 --> 00:19:30.819 You can run away 00:19:30.819 --> 00:19:32.079 to other lovers 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:34.179 but I will chase you 00:19:34.179 --> 00:19:36.519 down and buy you back. 00:19:37.500 --> 00:19:38.259 And there may be 00:19:38.259 --> 00:19:39.619 painful discipline 00:19:39.619 --> 00:19:40.539 in the process 00:19:40.539 --> 00:19:42.019 but we will be together 00:19:42.019 --> 00:19:43.039 forever. 00:19:43.959 --> 00:19:45.219 I'm committed to it. 00:19:46.879 --> 00:19:48.119 There ain't no darkness 00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:49.019 strong enough 00:19:49.019 --> 00:19:50.599 that could tear you out 00:19:50.599 --> 00:19:51.559 from my heart. 00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:53.099 There ain't no strength 00:19:53.099 --> 00:19:54.259 that's strong enough 00:19:54.259 --> 00:19:56.339 that could tear this love apart. 00:19:56.339 --> 00:19:59.259 No, I won't let you go. 00:20:00.500 --> 00:20:02.699 Tenacious faithfulness. 00:20:04.220 --> 00:20:05.759 When repeated rejection 00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:07.459 has come from one side 00:20:07.459 --> 00:20:08.099 to the other, 00:20:08.439 --> 00:20:09.899 when the name of your lover 00:20:09.899 --> 00:20:10.759 has been dragged 00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:12.099 through the mud publicly, 00:20:12.439 --> 00:20:13.819 when divorce seems to be 00:20:13.819 --> 00:20:16.019 the only reasonable option, 00:20:17.019 --> 00:20:19.299 I won't let you go. 00:20:19.299 --> 00:20:21.200 God says. 00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:24.700 We all probably know people 00:20:24.700 --> 00:20:25.559 who in the midst 00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:27.559 of their unfaithfulness 00:20:27.559 --> 00:20:28.940 have experienced 00:20:28.940 --> 00:20:31.399 this tenacious faithfulness 00:20:31.399 --> 00:20:32.839 from a forgiving spouse. 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:36.180 As one of my friends 00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:36.659 has said, 00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:38.339 it's experiencing a grace 00:20:38.339 --> 00:20:39.659 that he had only been taught 00:20:39.659 --> 00:20:40.599 existed. 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:43.240 Isn't that supposed to be 00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:44.599 the daily reality 00:20:44.599 --> 00:20:46.419 in all of our marriages? 00:20:46.420 --> 00:20:49.580 Man, I could never repay 00:20:49.580 --> 00:20:50.420 my wife 00:20:50.420 --> 00:20:52.080 for the number of times 00:20:52.080 --> 00:20:54.279 that she has in my failures 00:20:54.279 --> 00:20:57.039 met me with faithful, 00:20:57.420 --> 00:20:58.600 forgiving love, 00:20:58.680 --> 00:20:59.560 giving me a taste 00:20:59.560 --> 00:21:01.060 of God's love 00:21:01.060 --> 00:21:02.500 when I didn't deserve it 00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:04.420 at my lowest points. 00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:08.100 Loving the unlovely 00:21:08.100 --> 00:21:09.779 requires grace. 00:21:10.940 --> 00:21:12.340 It requires sacrifice. 00:21:12.339 --> 00:21:16.919 It requires tenacious faithfulness. 00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:18.399 And when we experience those, 00:21:18.500 --> 00:21:20.039 we experience and tell 00:21:20.039 --> 00:21:22.319 the story of God's love 00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:23.659 for us in Christ. 00:21:24.259 --> 00:21:25.000 It's beautiful. 00:21:25.259 --> 00:21:26.259 It's glorious 00:21:26.259 --> 00:21:27.399 when you see it, isn't it? 00:21:27.959 --> 00:21:28.899 I'm just going to share 00:21:28.899 --> 00:21:30.079 two stories of this 00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:30.699 with you 00:21:30.699 --> 00:21:31.779 that I've shared before. 00:21:32.399 --> 00:21:34.319 They display this kind of love 00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:36.359 in the midst of physical trauma 00:21:36.359 --> 00:21:37.539 that could have altered 00:21:37.539 --> 00:21:39.059 a relationship entirely. 00:21:39.059 --> 00:21:42.159 And it's a kind of love 00:21:42.159 --> 00:21:43.700 that God would call us 00:21:43.700 --> 00:21:44.159 to show 00:21:44.159 --> 00:21:44.879 not just when 00:21:44.879 --> 00:21:46.099 physical realities 00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:46.819 change things, 00:21:46.919 --> 00:21:48.099 but emotional and relational 00:21:48.099 --> 00:21:48.960 trauma 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:50.399 comes to us too. 00:21:51.339 --> 00:21:51.960 The first is 00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:53.419 Robertson McQuilkin. 00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.500 He was president 00:21:57.500 --> 00:21:58.819 of Columbia Bible College 00:21:58.819 --> 00:21:59.759 over 20 years 00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:01.379 until in 1990 00:22:01.379 --> 00:22:02.819 his wife Muriel 00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:04.679 was struggling deeply 00:22:04.679 --> 00:22:05.940 with Alzheimer's, 00:22:06.619 --> 00:22:08.099 becoming frantic 00:22:08.099 --> 00:22:09.659 whenever he was not with her, 00:22:09.740 --> 00:22:11.299 even bloodying her feet 00:22:11.299 --> 00:22:12.699 walking back and forth 00:22:12.699 --> 00:22:13.439 from their home 00:22:13.439 --> 00:22:14.199 to his office 00:22:14.199 --> 00:22:15.139 looking for him. 00:22:16.359 --> 00:22:17.119 So he wrote 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:18.579 to the Bible College community 00:22:18.579 --> 00:22:19.659 about his decision 00:22:19.659 --> 00:22:20.480 to step down 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:21.679 from the job he loved. 00:22:23.199 --> 00:22:24.699 The decision was made 00:22:24.699 --> 00:22:25.139 in a way 00:22:25.139 --> 00:22:26.419 42 years ago 00:22:26.419 --> 00:22:27.219 when I promised 00:22:27.219 --> 00:22:28.399 to care for Muriel 00:22:28.399 --> 00:22:29.379 in sickness 00:22:29.379 --> 00:22:30.279 and in health 00:22:30.279 --> 00:22:31.759 till death do us part. 00:22:32.399 --> 00:22:33.119 So as I told 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:34.339 the students and faculty 00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:35.559 as a man of my word, 00:22:35.919 --> 00:22:36.899 integrity has something 00:22:36.899 --> 00:22:37.500 to do with it. 00:22:38.099 --> 00:22:39.679 But so does fairness. 00:22:40.399 --> 00:22:41.219 She's cared for me 00:22:41.219 --> 00:22:42.480 fully and sacrificially 00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:43.159 all these years. 00:22:43.259 --> 00:22:44.059 If I cared for her 00:22:44.059 --> 00:22:45.299 for the next 40 years 00:22:45.299 --> 00:22:46.199 I would not be out 00:22:46.199 --> 00:22:46.799 of her debt. 00:22:48.399 --> 00:22:49.259 Duty, however, 00:22:49.379 --> 00:22:50.379 can be grim 00:22:50.379 --> 00:22:51.379 and stoic, 00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:52.519 but there's more. 00:22:52.959 --> 00:22:54.699 I love Muriel. 00:22:55.879 --> 00:22:56.740 She is a delight 00:22:56.740 --> 00:22:57.259 to me. 00:22:58.099 --> 00:22:59.219 Her childlike dependence 00:22:59.219 --> 00:23:00.579 and confidence in me, 00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:02.000 her warm love, 00:23:02.359 --> 00:23:03.379 occasional flashes 00:23:03.379 --> 00:23:04.259 of that wit 00:23:04.259 --> 00:23:05.740 I used to relish so, 00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:07.259 her happy spirit 00:23:07.259 --> 00:23:08.740 and tough resilience 00:23:08.740 --> 00:23:09.440 in the face 00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:10.500 of her continual 00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:11.980 distressing frustration. 00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:14.039 I don't have to care 00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:14.519 for her. 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:16.259 I get to. 00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:18.599 It's a high honor 00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:20.220 to care for so wonderful 00:23:20.220 --> 00:23:20.799 a person. 00:23:22.539 --> 00:23:24.079 He sacrificed, 00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:26.539 laid down his life 00:23:26.539 --> 00:23:27.339 as it were, 00:23:27.700 --> 00:23:29.120 and yet found joy 00:23:29.120 --> 00:23:30.400 and fulfillment 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:31.620 there. 00:23:31.619 --> 00:23:36.000 Shortly after David Ireland's 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:37.419 young wife got pregnant, 00:23:37.639 --> 00:23:38.559 David found out 00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:39.659 he had a disease 00:23:39.659 --> 00:23:41.319 like Lou Gehrig's 00:23:41.319 --> 00:23:43.000 and his body began 00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:44.279 to shut down rapidly. 00:23:44.979 --> 00:23:45.979 He realized 00:23:45.979 --> 00:23:47.179 that he may not meet 00:23:47.179 --> 00:23:48.039 his child. 00:23:49.239 --> 00:23:49.939 So he decided 00:23:49.939 --> 00:23:50.819 to do some parenting 00:23:50.819 --> 00:23:51.639 through letters, 00:23:52.500 --> 00:23:53.279 now published 00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:54.039 in a book called 00:23:54.039 --> 00:23:55.699 Letters to an Unborn Child. 00:23:56.839 --> 00:23:57.559 He introduces 00:23:57.559 --> 00:23:58.399 his baby boy 00:23:58.399 --> 00:23:59.199 to his mother 00:23:59.199 --> 00:24:00.419 this way. 00:24:00.420 --> 00:24:02.019 My child, 00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:02.640 I want you to know 00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:03.840 what your mother is like. 00:24:04.759 --> 00:24:05.800 She is absolutely 00:24:05.800 --> 00:24:06.460 incredible. 00:24:07.320 --> 00:24:08.039 I think I can make 00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:08.580 it clear to you 00:24:08.580 --> 00:24:09.440 by just telling you 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:10.500 what she has to do 00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:11.200 when we go out 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:12.000 to eat at night. 00:24:12.759 --> 00:24:13.480 When we go out 00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:14.100 to a restaurant, 00:24:14.259 --> 00:24:15.519 this is what she has to do. 00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:17.000 Because I'm a quadriplegic 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:17.900 now and in a wheelchair, 00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:19.300 she has to bathe me, 00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:20.259 dress me, 00:24:20.539 --> 00:24:21.259 empty the urine 00:24:21.259 --> 00:24:22.120 and fecal bags 00:24:22.120 --> 00:24:22.740 that are strapped 00:24:22.740 --> 00:24:23.500 to my legs, 00:24:23.740 --> 00:24:24.500 then put me 00:24:24.500 --> 00:24:25.100 in the wheelchair, 00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:26.019 drive me out 00:24:26.019 --> 00:24:26.620 to the garage, 00:24:26.779 --> 00:24:27.519 open the garage, 00:24:27.660 --> 00:24:28.200 open the door, 00:24:28.300 --> 00:24:28.900 get out aboard, 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:29.820 pull up the arm 00:24:29.820 --> 00:24:30.360 on my chair, 00:24:30.420 --> 00:24:31.279 slide me across 00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:31.700 the board, 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:32.740 put me in the car, 00:24:32.840 --> 00:24:33.580 put down the arm, 00:24:33.700 --> 00:24:34.380 fold up the chair, 00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.160 open the trunk, 00:24:35.460 --> 00:24:36.060 put in the chair, 00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:36.860 close the trunk, 00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:37.519 close the door, 00:24:37.620 --> 00:24:38.120 get in the car, 00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:38.640 back it out, 00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:39.539 close the garage door 00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:40.420 and drive to the restaurant. 00:24:41.900 --> 00:24:42.680 When we get there, 00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:43.580 the whole process 00:24:43.580 --> 00:24:44.240 is reversed. 00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:46.080 We sit down 00:24:46.080 --> 00:24:46.539 at a table, 00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:47.480 she feeds me, 00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:48.759 wipes the drool 00:24:48.759 --> 00:24:49.500 from my mouth 00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:50.880 because I can barely eat, 00:24:51.539 --> 00:24:52.120 gets up, 00:24:52.500 --> 00:24:53.259 pays the check 00:24:53.259 --> 00:24:55.379 and then the whole process 00:24:55.379 --> 00:24:56.319 is reversed again. 00:24:56.619 --> 00:24:57.279 Go out to the car, 00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:57.819 open the door, 00:24:57.940 --> 00:24:58.619 take off the arm, 00:24:58.720 --> 00:24:59.420 put down the board, 00:24:59.539 --> 00:25:00.299 slide me across, 00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:01.099 put down the arm, 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:01.799 fold up the chair, 00:25:01.879 --> 00:25:02.379 go to the back, 00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:03.079 open the trunk, 00:25:03.420 --> 00:25:04.079 put up the chair, 00:25:04.180 --> 00:25:04.779 close the trunk, 00:25:04.879 --> 00:25:05.420 get in the car, 00:25:05.619 --> 00:25:06.059 drive. 00:25:07.059 --> 00:25:07.920 Get to the garage, 00:25:08.019 --> 00:25:09.039 up goes the garage door, 00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:10.379 everything else reversed, 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:11.619 take me in, 00:25:11.960 --> 00:25:12.519 clean me, 00:25:13.319 --> 00:25:14.000 empty the fecal 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:14.839 and urine bags, 00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:15.480 bathe me, 00:25:15.940 --> 00:25:16.900 put me in my pajamas 00:25:16.900 --> 00:25:18.759 and lay me in bed. 00:25:20.320 --> 00:25:21.360 And then he says this, 00:25:21.580 --> 00:25:21.820 Son, 00:25:22.840 --> 00:25:24.740 these are her last words to me. 00:25:25.780 --> 00:25:26.680 Thank you, honey, 00:25:27.080 --> 00:25:27.980 for taking me out 00:25:27.980 --> 00:25:28.640 to eat tonight. 00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.900 That's tenacious faithfulness 00:25:34.900 --> 00:25:37.200 at not letting go. 00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:39.340 Sacrificial love 00:25:39.340 --> 00:25:40.820 that honors the weak 00:25:40.820 --> 00:25:43.420 and the seemingly undeserving. 00:25:45.300 --> 00:25:46.600 What beautiful pictures 00:25:46.599 --> 00:25:49.039 of how Jesus cherishes 00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:51.179 and cares for his bride, 00:25:51.279 --> 00:25:51.480 right? 00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:53.039 That's how he loves you. 00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:56.099 And so often, 00:25:56.219 --> 00:25:57.740 the picture we present 00:25:57.740 --> 00:26:00.000 tells a different story. 00:26:00.379 --> 00:26:02.119 A story of Prince Charming 00:26:02.119 --> 00:26:03.399 turning up his nose 00:26:03.399 --> 00:26:04.579 at Cinderella, 00:26:05.579 --> 00:26:07.500 sending her away from him. 00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:10.379 Do you see why God 00:26:10.379 --> 00:26:12.539 takes divorce so seriously? 00:26:14.099 --> 00:26:15.839 Yes, he wants to spare us 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:16.439 the pain, 00:26:16.599 --> 00:26:18.519 but ultimately, 00:26:18.699 --> 00:26:19.959 what's his heart? 00:26:20.359 --> 00:26:21.619 He's telling the world 00:26:21.619 --> 00:26:22.379 a story. 00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:24.079 The good news, 00:26:24.199 --> 00:26:25.799 the good news of great joy 00:26:25.799 --> 00:26:26.939 for all people 00:26:26.939 --> 00:26:28.740 and right at the climax 00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:29.679 of this story, 00:26:29.799 --> 00:26:31.539 divorce seeks to rewrite it. 00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:34.219 Seeks to tell a different one 00:26:34.219 --> 00:26:35.459 with a different ending. 00:26:36.139 --> 00:26:37.539 And that's why we as a church 00:26:37.539 --> 00:26:39.319 seek to take divorce 00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:40.519 seriously as well. 00:26:40.619 --> 00:26:41.740 It's not to be difficult, 00:26:41.740 --> 00:26:45.440 but to protect the glory 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:48.279 of the story of Jesus' love for us 00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:50.660 and believing that God's design 00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:52.120 is best for us too, 00:26:52.180 --> 00:26:53.160 even in the pain. 00:26:55.380 --> 00:26:56.480 That may well mean 00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:58.420 some hard situations 00:26:58.420 --> 00:27:00.200 and difficult decisions. 00:27:00.700 --> 00:27:01.839 I don't have the time 00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:03.500 to go into this morning 00:27:03.500 --> 00:27:07.359 as we wrestle with broken covenants. 00:27:08.359 --> 00:27:09.279 It happens. 00:27:11.420 --> 00:27:13.099 But in the midst of that, 00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:15.940 focusing on the glorious purpose 00:27:15.940 --> 00:27:17.000 for marriage 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.299 really does change things. 00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:21.279 Think about it in your own marriage. 00:27:21.380 --> 00:27:21.920 Be honest. 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:23.799 What's your goal 00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:25.420 in your marriage? 00:27:25.420 --> 00:27:27.580 Or in a potential marriage 00:27:27.580 --> 00:27:29.259 that you're thinking about. 00:27:29.980 --> 00:27:30.259 You see, 00:27:30.360 --> 00:27:31.460 if I prioritize 00:27:31.460 --> 00:27:33.240 personal fulfillment 00:27:33.240 --> 00:27:35.120 in marriage, 00:27:35.380 --> 00:27:37.440 I actually overemphasize 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:39.100 and idolize marriage 00:27:39.100 --> 00:27:40.400 as though there's someone 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:41.460 or some relationship 00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:43.400 that could completely fulfill me. 00:27:44.820 --> 00:27:46.100 And at the same time, 00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:47.460 I underemphasize 00:27:47.460 --> 00:27:49.220 the glorious purpose 00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:50.140 of marriage. 00:27:50.220 --> 00:27:52.039 I make it a consumer contract 00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:54.600 to stay in while it serves me 00:27:54.599 --> 00:27:57.379 rather than an unbreakable covenant 00:27:57.379 --> 00:27:59.379 that serves God's mission 00:27:59.379 --> 00:28:00.319 and His glory 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:01.599 in the world. 00:28:03.439 --> 00:28:04.299 So practically, 00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:06.319 if my purpose 00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:08.000 is self-fulfillment, 00:28:08.519 --> 00:28:09.759 then how do I have to act? 00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:10.679 Well, I have to deny 00:28:10.679 --> 00:28:12.500 any sin or weakness in myself. 00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:13.679 That doesn't fit. 00:28:14.819 --> 00:28:16.099 I have to redefine marriage 00:28:16.099 --> 00:28:16.980 by my desires, 00:28:17.059 --> 00:28:18.240 what I want it to look like 00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:19.559 and feel like 00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:21.480 and reach for divorce quickly 00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:22.240 when they're threatened 00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:24.219 or almost as bad. 00:28:24.220 --> 00:28:25.740 Even if I stay, 00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:28.000 I begin to tell the wrong story. 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:29.039 It's one about me 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:30.059 where I'm the hero. 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.420 On the other hand, 00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:35.140 if my purpose 00:28:35.140 --> 00:28:36.460 is telling the story 00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:37.980 of Christ's love 00:28:37.980 --> 00:28:39.559 for His church, 00:28:40.180 --> 00:28:42.279 then I can actually acknowledge 00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:42.980 sin 00:28:42.980 --> 00:28:45.120 and true forgiveness 00:28:45.120 --> 00:28:46.779 because in those moments, 00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:47.980 we can actually best 00:28:47.980 --> 00:28:49.400 tell the story, right? 00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:50.980 The story that's about grace 00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:51.940 and redemption 00:28:51.940 --> 00:28:53.799 in the lowest moments 00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:55.299 with Jesus as the hero 00:28:55.299 --> 00:28:56.380 and the great lover, 00:28:56.460 --> 00:28:57.880 not me as the one 00:28:57.880 --> 00:28:58.620 who's perfect. 00:28:59.640 --> 00:29:00.940 See, the miracle of marriage 00:29:00.940 --> 00:29:02.599 is not two relatively 00:29:02.599 --> 00:29:04.259 compatible people 00:29:04.259 --> 00:29:06.039 surviving in the same house 00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:07.039 for 50 years. 00:29:08.420 --> 00:29:09.360 But rather, 00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:11.279 the miracle that reflects 00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:12.900 the miracle of God's love 00:29:12.900 --> 00:29:13.660 is two people 00:29:13.660 --> 00:29:15.019 at great cost 00:29:15.019 --> 00:29:16.039 to themselves 00:29:16.039 --> 00:29:18.240 loving the unlovely 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:19.339 and the unworthy. 00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:20.319 That's the story, 00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:20.700 isn't it? 00:29:21.079 --> 00:29:22.120 That's what marriage 00:29:22.120 --> 00:29:22.920 is to be about. 00:29:23.900 --> 00:29:24.920 And so in the low points, 00:29:24.980 --> 00:29:25.579 we get a chance 00:29:25.579 --> 00:29:27.200 to tell that story 00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:28.400 beautifully. 00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:29.559 It's why we honor 00:29:29.559 --> 00:29:31.180 marriage now 00:29:31.180 --> 00:29:32.240 because of the glorious, 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:34.839 great love story 00:29:34.839 --> 00:29:35.539 that it's telling. 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:39.240 So Jesus speaks 00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:41.339 certainly strong 00:29:41.339 --> 00:29:43.980 and direct words 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:45.639 to the Pharisees 00:29:45.639 --> 00:29:47.079 and to us 00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:49.339 to elevate 00:29:49.339 --> 00:29:50.439 the seriousness 00:29:50.439 --> 00:29:51.720 of God's law. 00:29:53.299 --> 00:29:54.079 Verse 18 again, 00:29:54.500 --> 00:29:55.500 everyone who divorces 00:29:55.500 --> 00:29:56.159 his wife 00:29:56.159 --> 00:29:57.079 and marries another 00:29:57.079 --> 00:29:58.480 commits adultery 00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.980 and he who marries 00:29:59.980 --> 00:30:00.939 a woman divorced 00:30:00.939 --> 00:30:01.980 from her husband 00:30:01.980 --> 00:30:03.939 commits adultery. 00:30:04.879 --> 00:30:06.379 It's a perfect law 00:30:06.379 --> 00:30:08.679 and he won't tolerate 00:30:08.679 --> 00:30:10.099 our lowering the standard, 00:30:10.439 --> 00:30:10.759 will he? 00:30:11.339 --> 00:30:12.679 He doesn't want 00:30:12.679 --> 00:30:13.980 marriage redefined, 00:30:14.179 --> 00:30:15.439 divorce made easy. 00:30:17.579 --> 00:30:18.740 And so for some of you 00:30:18.740 --> 00:30:19.220 this morning, 00:30:19.359 --> 00:30:21.599 perhaps it's painful 00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:23.279 to think back 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:24.500 through things 00:30:24.500 --> 00:30:24.959 you've endured 00:30:24.959 --> 00:30:25.779 in your life. 00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:27.779 Hard moments, 00:30:28.299 --> 00:30:29.279 deep grief, 00:30:30.199 --> 00:30:31.500 wrestling with God 00:30:31.500 --> 00:30:33.359 about what's next. 00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:36.899 Man, if you're there 00:30:36.899 --> 00:30:37.459 this morning, 00:30:37.639 --> 00:30:39.199 love to walk with you 00:30:39.199 --> 00:30:39.639 through that 00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:41.100 because there's not 00:30:41.100 --> 00:30:41.700 much that's more 00:30:41.700 --> 00:30:42.640 difficult than this 00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:43.860 because it's a battleground 00:30:43.860 --> 00:30:44.920 where God's telling 00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:45.759 a story and Satan 00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:46.280 wants to write 00:30:46.280 --> 00:30:47.060 a different one. 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:49.000 And we need each other 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:49.360 in that. 00:30:50.060 --> 00:30:50.800 And you may be sitting 00:30:50.800 --> 00:30:51.460 there and hearing 00:30:51.460 --> 00:30:52.940 words this strong 00:30:52.940 --> 00:30:53.660 from Jesus 00:30:53.660 --> 00:30:55.500 like adultery 00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:56.360 and feel someone 00:30:56.360 --> 00:30:57.400 pointing a finger 00:30:57.400 --> 00:30:58.060 at you 00:30:58.060 --> 00:30:59.920 and saying, 00:31:00.040 --> 00:31:00.720 adultery. 00:31:00.980 --> 00:31:01.780 You feel you've got 00:31:01.780 --> 00:31:02.960 a scarlet letter 00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:03.660 on you 00:31:03.660 --> 00:31:04.500 because of your 00:31:04.500 --> 00:31:05.200 divorce 00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:05.759 or your 00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:07.220 unfaithfulness. 00:31:09.799 --> 00:31:10.759 In just a minute, 00:31:10.840 --> 00:31:11.480 I'm going to do 00:31:11.480 --> 00:31:12.180 something that 00:31:12.180 --> 00:31:13.180 sounds very 00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:14.460 unpastoral. 00:31:15.819 --> 00:31:17.000 To have all those 00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:17.640 who've committed 00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:18.319 adultery 00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:19.480 raise their hands. 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:22.140 First, let me remind 00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:23.000 you of God's law. 00:31:23.660 --> 00:31:24.819 Exodus chapter 20. 00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:27.819 You shall not 00:31:27.819 --> 00:31:29.059 commit adultery. 00:31:29.059 --> 00:31:29.139 Adultery. 00:31:30.859 --> 00:31:32.319 Matthew chapter 5 00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:34.139 verse 27. 00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:34.799 You have heard 00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:35.539 that it was said 00:31:35.539 --> 00:31:36.259 you shall not 00:31:36.259 --> 00:31:37.159 commit adultery. 00:31:37.579 --> 00:31:38.519 But I say to you 00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:39.039 that everyone 00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:40.339 who looks at a woman 00:31:40.339 --> 00:31:41.599 with lustful intent 00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:42.940 has already committed 00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:43.579 adultery 00:31:43.579 --> 00:31:44.440 with her 00:31:44.440 --> 00:31:45.159 in his heart. 00:31:46.859 --> 00:31:47.179 Then, 00:31:47.419 --> 00:31:48.279 in our passage, 00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:49.319 Luke 16, 00:31:49.819 --> 00:31:50.899 Jesus says to them, 00:31:51.179 --> 00:31:51.559 you are those 00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:52.879 who justify yourselves 00:31:52.879 --> 00:31:53.759 before men, 00:31:53.899 --> 00:31:55.559 but God knows 00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:56.220 your hearts. 00:31:56.899 --> 00:31:57.779 For what is exalted 00:31:57.779 --> 00:31:58.259 among men 00:31:58.259 --> 00:31:59.019 is an abomination 00:31:59.019 --> 00:32:00.319 in the sight of God. 00:32:00.839 --> 00:32:01.519 And then he goes 00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:02.240 to apply it 00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:03.420 to divorce and marriage. 00:32:03.779 --> 00:32:04.960 Everyone who divorces 00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:06.019 his wife and marries 00:32:06.019 --> 00:32:07.639 another commits adultery. 00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:08.759 And he who marries 00:32:08.759 --> 00:32:09.559 a woman divorced 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:10.460 from her husband 00:32:10.460 --> 00:32:12.039 commits adultery. 00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:13.460 And we now understand 00:32:13.460 --> 00:32:14.839 that what Jesus 00:32:14.839 --> 00:32:15.519 is saying 00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:16.559 in this passage 00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:17.619 is much harder 00:32:17.619 --> 00:32:19.019 than we might realize. 00:32:19.220 --> 00:32:19.859 That if we have 00:32:19.859 --> 00:32:20.759 ever longed 00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:21.519 for marriage 00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:23.119 or for anything else 00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:24.000 other than God 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:25.339 to fulfill us, 00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:26.799 that's adultery. 00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:26.899 adultery. 00:32:27.899 --> 00:32:28.960 If we have ever 00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:29.720 had a less than 00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:30.859 glorious view 00:32:30.859 --> 00:32:31.799 of marriage, 00:32:31.879 --> 00:32:33.039 whether in our own 00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:34.220 or toward another's, 00:32:35.019 --> 00:32:36.440 that's adultery. 00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:38.279 If we have said things 00:32:38.279 --> 00:32:39.720 or avoided saying things 00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:40.639 rather than embrace 00:32:40.639 --> 00:32:42.059 the truth of God's Word 00:32:42.059 --> 00:32:42.940 on divorce 00:32:42.940 --> 00:32:43.980 or anything else, 00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:45.700 that's adultery 00:32:45.700 --> 00:32:47.559 in our hearts. 00:32:47.559 --> 00:32:51.200 Now with a fresh reminder 00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:54.059 of God's perfect standard, 00:32:54.839 --> 00:32:55.759 let's go back 00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:56.980 to the hands being raised 00:32:56.980 --> 00:32:57.639 and I'll start. 00:32:59.079 --> 00:33:00.139 All those who have 00:33:00.139 --> 00:33:01.200 committed adultery 00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:02.859 according to all 00:33:02.859 --> 00:33:05.200 of God's holy law, 00:33:05.919 --> 00:33:07.119 raise your hand with me. 00:33:11.679 --> 00:33:13.059 There's no one left 00:33:13.059 --> 00:33:14.720 to throw stones. 00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:17.940 There's no one 00:33:17.940 --> 00:33:19.940 who's got it together 00:33:19.940 --> 00:33:22.940 and can accuse you. 00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:28.000 Adultery is a sin, 00:33:28.180 --> 00:33:28.700 but it's not 00:33:28.700 --> 00:33:30.319 the unforgivable sin. 00:33:31.100 --> 00:33:31.700 And that's why 00:33:31.700 --> 00:33:34.000 God gives us His law 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:35.860 so that we see 00:33:35.860 --> 00:33:38.299 His holy character 00:33:38.299 --> 00:33:41.059 and pray that the Holy Spirit 00:33:41.059 --> 00:33:43.120 would work in each of us 00:33:43.119 --> 00:33:44.419 that we would, 00:33:44.739 --> 00:33:45.819 in our friendships, 00:33:46.739 --> 00:33:48.019 and if appropriate, 00:33:48.219 --> 00:33:49.239 as spouses 00:33:49.239 --> 00:33:51.279 and as a church family, 00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:53.000 that we would love 00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:54.819 with purifying grace 00:33:54.819 --> 00:33:56.519 and sacrificial love 00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:59.119 and tenacious faithfulness. 00:34:00.159 --> 00:34:01.659 We would see how He does that 00:34:01.659 --> 00:34:03.659 and long to reflect that 00:34:03.659 --> 00:34:05.199 to those around us. 00:34:05.919 --> 00:34:06.379 And, 00:34:07.199 --> 00:34:09.079 and He gives us His law 00:34:09.079 --> 00:34:10.839 set perfectly 00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:12.980 beyond what we can measure up to 00:34:12.980 --> 00:34:14.100 so that, 00:34:14.519 --> 00:34:15.800 seeing our sin, 00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:17.800 so that realizing 00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:19.880 we can't fix the problem, 00:34:20.160 --> 00:34:20.840 we would turn 00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:22.660 to our Savior 00:34:22.660 --> 00:34:24.400 to find forgiveness 00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:26.780 and to actually believe 00:34:26.780 --> 00:34:28.260 that as far as the east 00:34:28.260 --> 00:34:29.440 is from the west, 00:34:29.720 --> 00:34:31.440 so far has He removed 00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:33.019 our transgressions from us. 00:34:33.059 --> 00:34:33.280 Amen? 00:34:33.940 --> 00:34:34.900 We read it earlier, 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:35.860 do you believe that? 00:34:35.860 --> 00:34:38.820 Has He wiped 00:34:38.820 --> 00:34:39.880 the adultery 00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:41.180 that far away 00:34:41.180 --> 00:34:44.260 from you? 00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:45.800 Don't lower the standard. 00:34:47.500 --> 00:34:48.480 Embrace the Savior. 00:34:50.700 --> 00:34:51.860 It almost makes you wonder 00:34:51.860 --> 00:34:52.900 why God allows divorce 00:34:52.900 --> 00:34:53.280 at all, 00:34:53.340 --> 00:34:53.720 doesn't it? 00:34:55.900 --> 00:34:57.059 You remember how Jesus, 00:34:57.740 --> 00:34:58.340 when He allowed 00:34:58.340 --> 00:34:59.420 for divorce 00:34:59.420 --> 00:35:00.320 reluctantly, 00:35:01.320 --> 00:35:01.860 said, 00:35:02.539 --> 00:35:02.620 well, 00:35:02.660 --> 00:35:03.880 only because of the hardness 00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:05.119 of human hearts, 00:35:05.300 --> 00:35:06.579 is divorce even permitted? 00:35:08.740 --> 00:35:09.260 Why? 00:35:09.940 --> 00:35:11.640 Why then does it have to be? 00:35:11.640 --> 00:35:13.220 It's because He's saying 00:35:13.220 --> 00:35:14.119 human hearts 00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:15.260 are not divine. 00:35:16.900 --> 00:35:18.019 We can't love 00:35:18.019 --> 00:35:18.700 as perfectly, 00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:20.119 as infinitely, 00:35:20.420 --> 00:35:21.380 as eternally 00:35:21.380 --> 00:35:23.240 as God can. 00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:25.400 And it's because 00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:26.280 human marriage 00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:28.220 is not ultimate. 00:35:30.140 --> 00:35:31.220 See, the ultimate hope 00:35:31.220 --> 00:35:31.900 of the gospel 00:35:31.900 --> 00:35:33.480 is not in your marriage 00:35:33.480 --> 00:35:35.099 now being a perfect 00:35:35.099 --> 00:35:36.700 reflection of God's 00:35:36.700 --> 00:35:38.079 love for you. 00:35:39.400 --> 00:35:40.000 The hope, 00:35:41.139 --> 00:35:42.039 the promise 00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:42.920 to us 00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:43.900 is of the ultimate 00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:44.880 marriage 00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:47.220 where your perfect 00:35:47.220 --> 00:35:48.019 spouse 00:35:48.019 --> 00:35:48.920 removes 00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:50.019 the scarlet letter. 00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:51.180 He's the perfect one. 00:35:51.260 --> 00:35:51.500 In fact, 00:35:51.619 --> 00:35:52.720 He's the only one 00:35:52.720 --> 00:35:53.380 standing 00:35:53.380 --> 00:35:53.980 who could 00:35:53.980 --> 00:35:55.460 rightly judge you 00:35:55.460 --> 00:35:55.900 for that. 00:35:55.900 --> 00:35:56.740 And instead of 00:35:56.740 --> 00:35:57.940 judging you for that, 00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:58.559 He does what? 00:35:58.860 --> 00:35:59.940 He removes it 00:35:59.940 --> 00:36:00.539 from you 00:36:00.539 --> 00:36:01.380 and He not only 00:36:01.380 --> 00:36:03.099 takes that off of you 00:36:03.099 --> 00:36:04.420 and removes your sin 00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:05.179 as far as the east 00:36:05.179 --> 00:36:05.860 is from the west, 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.280 He clothes you 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:08.880 with white robes 00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:11.079 in glorious beauty 00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:13.740 and He comes 00:36:13.740 --> 00:36:14.800 to you 00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:16.280 to be with you 00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:17.159 forever, 00:36:17.420 --> 00:36:18.179 He promises. 00:36:18.720 --> 00:36:19.440 No divorce 00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:20.179 to endure 00:36:20.179 --> 00:36:21.139 ever. 00:36:22.780 --> 00:36:23.920 He's the perfectly 00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:24.940 faithful 00:36:24.940 --> 00:36:25.820 spouse 00:36:25.820 --> 00:36:27.200 and He loves you 00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:28.860 passionately. 00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:31.400 Even unlovely 00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:32.260 you 00:36:32.260 --> 00:36:33.760 in your worst moments 00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:34.400 in fact, 00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:34.980 His promise 00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:36.080 is to make you 00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:36.500 lovely 00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:37.980 because He loves you. 00:36:40.180 --> 00:36:41.400 If your marital 00:36:41.400 --> 00:36:42.840 or relational 00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:43.720 experience 00:36:43.720 --> 00:36:44.600 makes you feel 00:36:44.600 --> 00:36:46.000 unlovely now, 00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:47.820 know that Jesus 00:36:47.820 --> 00:36:49.620 will make you 00:36:49.620 --> 00:36:49.980 lovely 00:36:49.980 --> 00:36:51.559 and will love you 00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:52.860 forever. 00:36:53.660 --> 00:36:54.360 Let's pray. 00:36:54.360 --> 00:37:00.640 Jesus, 00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:01.140 we give you 00:37:01.140 --> 00:37:01.680 thanks 00:37:01.680 --> 00:37:02.780 for a love 00:37:02.780 --> 00:37:03.559 we don't deserve 00:37:03.559 --> 00:37:04.400 and could never 00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:04.900 earn. 00:37:09.099 --> 00:37:10.140 We confess 00:37:10.140 --> 00:37:10.880 we like better 00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:11.460 the idea 00:37:11.460 --> 00:37:12.440 of fixing things 00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:13.000 ourselves, 00:37:13.240 --> 00:37:14.360 but we need 00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:15.240 you 00:37:15.240 --> 00:37:16.760 to rescue us. 00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:19.640 none of us 00:37:19.640 --> 00:37:20.180 stands 00:37:20.180 --> 00:37:21.820 on our own 00:37:21.820 --> 00:37:22.900 without our 00:37:22.900 --> 00:37:23.980 great need 00:37:23.980 --> 00:37:25.060 for you 00:37:25.060 --> 00:37:26.560 and so we 00:37:26.560 --> 00:37:27.300 thank you 00:37:27.300 --> 00:37:28.360 that you love 00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:28.740 us. 00:37:29.780 --> 00:37:30.580 We rejoice 00:37:30.580 --> 00:37:31.600 in the story 00:37:31.600 --> 00:37:33.120 that you give 00:37:33.120 --> 00:37:34.100 to us 00:37:34.100 --> 00:37:35.020 and that you give 00:37:35.020 --> 00:37:35.740 us the privilege 00:37:35.740 --> 00:37:36.300 of telling 00:37:36.300 --> 00:37:37.180 and we plead 00:37:37.180 --> 00:37:38.240 for your grace 00:37:38.240 --> 00:37:39.500 that we would 00:37:39.500 --> 00:37:40.360 tell it 00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:41.720 in all of our 00:37:41.720 --> 00:37:42.420 relationships, 00:37:42.680 --> 00:37:43.440 in our marriages, 00:37:43.660 --> 00:37:44.640 in this church 00:37:44.640 --> 00:37:45.220 family. 00:37:45.219 --> 00:37:45.919 Father, 00:37:46.019 --> 00:37:46.859 would we love 00:37:46.859 --> 00:37:47.259 and would we 00:37:47.259 --> 00:37:48.539 especially love 00:37:48.539 --> 00:37:49.119 where the 00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:50.059 brokenness of 00:37:50.059 --> 00:37:52.000 life interrupts 00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:53.439 and knocks us 00:37:53.439 --> 00:37:53.819 down? 00:37:54.139 --> 00:37:54.899 Would we be there 00:37:54.899 --> 00:37:56.139 and love each 00:37:56.139 --> 00:37:56.679 other well? 00:37:57.639 --> 00:37:58.879 In Jesus' name, 00:37:59.599 --> 00:37:59.839 Amen. 00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:04.539 For more 00:38:04.539 --> 00:38:05.019 information, 00:38:05.320 --> 00:38:05.840 visit us 00:38:05.840 --> 00:38:06.340 online 00:38:06.340 --> 00:38:06.720 at 00:38:06.720 --> 00:38:07.640 southwood.org 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:25.039 WELT