WEBVTT

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 Well, good morning, everyone. If you'd like to keep your Bibles open there, that would be fantastic.

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 We have, as John has said, we are partway through, quite a way through actually, our series on marriage, where we're looking at Ephesians 5, 21 to 33.

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 We've seen the mystery of the marriage, the profound mystery of marriage, is that the gospel of Jesus Christ and marriage explain each other.

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 There are things we would not know about marriage if it was not for the gospel, and there are things about the gospel we wouldn't know if it wasn't for marriage.

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 Marriage, as I've said a number of times, is a human relationship, but it is the penultimate relationship.

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 It points to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church.

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 One of the things I've also said early in this series is that everything that Ephesians 5 says about marriage comes after he tells us about the power that we need in order to be married as God describes it.

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 And that is, what we need is the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit, pointing us consistently to the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, who surrendered his will for our sake.

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 And so Ephesians 5, 21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, is really the foundational verse before the rest of that gets unpacked in the marriage relationship.

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 And so what I've been saying consistently is that we need to be captivated by Christ or struck by his selflessness,

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 because self-centeredness, our self-centeredness, the human heart, is the main havoc-wreaking problem in many marriages,

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 and is certainly the ever-present enemy in every marriage.

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 And that's certainly the case with the issue that we're addressing today on the topic of the structure of marriage.

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 The subject of gender roles in marriage is contentious.

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 It is certainly controversial.

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 But more importantly than it being intellectually contentious or culturally contentious and controversial,

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 it is an issue which for some is deeply personal,

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 which is why we wanted to put the things we put up there just before Nick's announcement.

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 It is deeply personal for some people and potentially for you sitting in the room now.

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 And that is because verses like Ephesians 5 here have been used as weapons of both oppression and rebellion in marriages.

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 Sin has infected every human culture, every human culture,

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 in such a way that they have found a way,

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 those cultures found a way to interpret headship and submission

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 in a way that has marginalized and oppressed women.

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 Too many women have suffered abuse at the hands of self-centered men

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 with a sense of entitlement who have no desire to follow Christ,

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 but take virtue of this and twist them

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 and to form unbiblical definitions of headship and submission to pump up their egos.

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 And in my time as a pastor,

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 I've had the unpleasant task of confronting that scenario on numerous occasions.

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 And it's something that we as a church take seriously

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 and should never, ever put up with.

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 But despite all of that,

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 this issue must be explored because it's in Scripture.

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 It's as God,

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 God's communicating something that's very important here.

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 And the other reason we must look at it from God's perspective

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 is that every single one of us come into marriage

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 with an idea of how a husband should behave towards his wife

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 and a wife towards her husband.

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 We bring that regardless of these verses.

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 So I'm going to ask you to tune in

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 and I'm going to ask you to stay with me.

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 Whether you identify yourself as egalitarian,

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 a feminist, a traditionalist, a complementarian,

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 or any other variety of the interpretive spectrum,

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 the differences between a man and a woman

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 will become an unavoidable issue in marriage.

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 You can't dodge it.

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 And as we look into this issue of the structure of marriage and gender roles,

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 we must begin with a look at the good that God intended

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 and how men and women have corrupted that good

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 and what Jesus has done to redeem it

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 and therefore how we practice it.

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 But it's only until we understand that core principles start with

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 can we then move into the hazardous concepts of authority and submission

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 and headships.

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 So I'm leading us this morning into a minefield

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 and you wait on the sidelines while I walk in there for a moment

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 and throw myself on the grenades.

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 So here's the structure for this morning as we go through.

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 So the background to Ephesians 5 on marriage

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 is the beginning of the Bible and God creating the material universe.

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 The first mention of the Bible, of gender in the Bible,

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 occurs with the very first mention of humanity itself.

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 Genesis 1, 26, 28,

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 God created mankind in his own image.

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 In the image of God, he created them.

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 Male and female, he created them.

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 God blessed them and said to them,

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 Be fruitful and increase in number.

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 Fill the earth and subdue it.

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 Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky

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 and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

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 Now, I'm going to go over some territory.

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 I've already been here just because it's just helpful to be reminded of it.

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 The wording of verse 26 is very important.

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 The words, let us, God saying, let us and our point to the plurality of God.

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 It's the Christian doctrine of the Trinity.

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 It's the first glimpses of it we get.

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 But, so God is plural, three in one,

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 but the words image and likeness are both in the original Hebrew language in singular form.

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 Plurality of God, but the image and the likeness of God is singular.

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 The God of the Bible, in whose image humanity is created,

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 is an eternal community.

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 And that's the only way, as I said a couple of weeks ago,

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 the only way you can come to terms with Genesis 2.18.

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 The Lord God said,

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 It is not good for a man to be alone.

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 I will make a suitable helper for him.

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 So Adam is alone and it's not good.

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 It's the only thing in the creation account that's described as not good.

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 That is, Adam is incomplete.

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 This is before sin entered the world.

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 And so God declares,

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 I will make a helper suitable for him.

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 Now, the woman is created differently than the way Adam was created.

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 But she is created directly by God.

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 And there's no sense in the biblical accounts at all

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 that she is in any way inferior to the male,

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 in any sense.

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 Genesis 2.18 calls her a helper suitable for him.

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 And the English word helper translates the Hebrew word.

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 I've done this before.

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 I want to go over it again.

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 It translates the Hebrew word that is almost always used in the Bible

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 to describe God's helping of Israel.

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 The helper is someone who makes up for what is lacking in the other.

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 In other words, if the word is used of God,

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 there is no sense at all that God is in any way inferior to Israel.

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 He is their savior, their rescue, their Lord.

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 You see, the same word is used not just of God,

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 but it's also used in the Old Testament to describe the military help.

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 Like, for instance, military reinforcements of troops,

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 which if they didn't get the reinforcements,

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 the battle would be lost.

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 So the woman is not a domestic assistant.

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 The woman is a strong helper.

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 She is a savior friend to the male, to the man.

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 And so even right at the very beginning of Genesis,

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 men and women are created with absolute equality.

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 Both are made in the image of God.

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 Both are equally blessed.

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 Both are equally commissioned to have dominion of the earth,

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 to exercise authority over the earth.

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 Both.

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 What this means is that men and women together,

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 in full participation together,

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 carry out God's mandate to rule the world.

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 But God then tells them,

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 straight after creating the man and male and female,

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 he tells them to be fruitful and fill the earth.

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 That is, that mandate there is a mandate to procreate,

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 and it's a mandate that reflects God's own boundless,

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 life-giving creativity.

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 The God who is a source of life,

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 his mandate is to reflect his life-giving creativity

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 in the procreation of children.

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 And it's a mandate,

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 still to this day,

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 whatever you think about views of gender,

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 that we have to carry out in complementary union.

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 None of us by ourselves have the ability

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 to fulfil that mandate.

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 So these verses strongly suggest

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 that the sexes, male and female,

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 are equal in dignity and worth,

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 but also different,

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 and they are complementary to one another.

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 In fact, the word suitable,

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 again, feels a bit weak.

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 The word suitable there in Genesis,

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 translate a phrase that is,

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 you could kind of,

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 you literally translate it as,

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 like opposite him,

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 which is another way of saying,

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 God created woman

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 who is just like the man,

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 but also opposite to the man.

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 And so when the woman is brought to the man

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 in the first marriage ceremony,

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 Adam doesn't go,

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 whoa, humdinger.

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 He actually,

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 it's a poetry language of flesh of my flesh

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 and bone of my bone.

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 It's a language which goes,

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 you are like me,

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 and yet you're different than me.

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 You are mysterious,

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 but I'm drawn to you.

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 If you like,

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 they are two pieces of a puzzle.

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 They fit together

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 because they're not exactly alike,

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 nor are they randomly different.

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 They complete each other.

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 And so what the Bible teaches us

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 is that our gender

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 is not incidental

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 to our humanness,

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 but it actually constitutes

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 its very essence.

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 It goes right down

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 into the very core

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 of who you are,

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 into every cell of who you are.

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 And what that means is

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 we cannot understand ourselves

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 if we try to ignore the way

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 that God has designed us.

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 Now, one of the first,

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 ironically,

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 one of the first feminist studies

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 that argued for the irreducible

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 gender indifference

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 was Carol Gilligan's

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 A Different Voice,

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 1980s,

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 early 1980s,

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 I think it was written.

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 It's been described

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 as a little book

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 that started a revolution,

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 translated in over 20 different languages,

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 a New York Times bestseller,

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 continues to be used today.

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 Now, Gilligan,

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 a Jewish feminist,

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 argued against

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 what was happening

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 in her circle

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 she was arguing

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 against social theories

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 that tried to emphasise

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 a gender indifference,

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 that if there was any differences,

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 that they were only superficial differences,

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 that really were superficial differences

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 based on culture and social constructs.

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 what she insisted,

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 with science,

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 with science,

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 with research,

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 that female psychology development,

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 psychological development,

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 their motivations

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 and even moral reasoning

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 were different than those of males.

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 women

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 were different than those of them.

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 She said you could see it

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 right from the get-go

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 from before they could even speak.

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 And she argued

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 absolutely convincingly

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 amongst other things

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 that while men seek maturity

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 by detaching themselves relationally,

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 becoming independent,

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 women see themselves maturing

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 as they attach themselves

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 and become interdependent

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 relationally.

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 She said that's the irreducible differences

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 between the two

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 in summary form.

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 And I would have to say

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 that what Gilligan,

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 whether she realised it or not,

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 observed about gender difference

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 is clearly played out

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 in Genesis 3,

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 negatively,

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 where man and woman,

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 they rebel against God's design

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 and his rule

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 and the immediate

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 and catastrophic

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 change

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 in their unity

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 between them

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 is just

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 beyond comprehension.

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 Immediately,

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 rather than a oneness

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 and a union

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 and a complementing

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 of one another,

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 there is blame shifting

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 and finger pointing

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 and accusation.

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 instead of

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 the difference

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 being a source

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 of completion

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 of one another

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 and joy for one another,

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 it becomes

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 an occasion

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 for oppression

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 and exploitation.

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 The woman

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 remains

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 dependent

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 and desirous

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 of her husband.

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 Her curse,

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 you might notice

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 up there,

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 is a relational curse.

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 You will desire

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 your husband

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 but he will rule

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 it over you

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 and his protection

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 and love

00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.000
 becomes a selfish lust

00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:42.819
 and an exploitation

00:18:42.819 --> 00:18:43.620
 of her.

00:18:44.420 --> 00:18:45.620
 He will dominate her.

00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:49.279
 The man,

00:18:49.539 --> 00:18:50.380
 his curse,

00:18:50.819 --> 00:18:51.299
 a desire

00:18:51.299 --> 00:18:52.640
 to detach himself

00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:54.800
 from relationally

00:18:54.800 --> 00:18:56.140
 and set his course

00:18:56.140 --> 00:18:57.259
 as an independent person

00:18:57.259 --> 00:18:58.040
 to dominate

00:18:58.040 --> 00:18:59.180
 and rule the world,

00:18:59.420 --> 00:19:00.360
 his curse is

00:19:00.360 --> 00:19:01.980
 your work

00:19:01.980 --> 00:19:02.980
 will be your burden.

00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:07.820
 The thing

00:19:07.820 --> 00:19:08.460
 that you think

00:19:08.460 --> 00:19:09.600
 will be your salvation

00:19:09.600 --> 00:19:11.740
 will exploit you

00:19:11.740 --> 00:19:12.800
 and dominate you

00:19:12.800 --> 00:19:13.280
 and likewise

00:19:13.280 --> 00:19:14.600
 for the woman,

00:19:14.759 --> 00:19:15.000
 the thing

00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:15.660
 that you think

00:19:15.660 --> 00:19:16.700
 will be your salvation

00:19:16.700 --> 00:19:17.780
 will dominate you

00:19:17.779 --> 00:19:19.519
 and exploit you.

00:19:23.259 --> 00:19:23.460
 What,

00:19:24.139 --> 00:19:25.180
 the whole point

00:19:25.180 --> 00:19:25.819
 of this

00:19:25.819 --> 00:19:27.859
 is to see

00:19:27.859 --> 00:19:28.579
 the equality

00:19:28.579 --> 00:19:29.420
 and the differences

00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:31.259
 but also

00:19:31.259 --> 00:19:31.980
 to see

00:19:31.980 --> 00:19:33.019
 that

00:19:33.019 --> 00:19:34.139
 the problem

00:19:34.139 --> 00:19:35.319
 in marriage

00:19:35.319 --> 00:19:37.240
 is not

00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:38.519
 Ephesians 5.

00:19:40.579 --> 00:19:41.759
 The problem

00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:42.559
 is not

00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:44.079
 God's design.

00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:46.059
 The problem

00:19:46.059 --> 00:19:46.980
 is sin.

00:19:47.779 --> 00:19:50.240
 and the

00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:51.019
 profound

00:19:51.019 --> 00:19:52.119
 self-centeredness

00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:53.720
 of the human heart

00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:55.079
 that grabs

00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:55.759
 hold

00:19:55.759 --> 00:19:57.099
 of Ephesians 5

00:19:57.099 --> 00:19:57.720
 and says

00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:58.379
 I can use

00:19:58.379 --> 00:19:59.160
 this as a weapon.

00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:03.440
 So,

00:20:03.940 --> 00:20:04.940
 let's unpack

00:20:04.940 --> 00:20:06.299
 how we,

00:20:06.539 --> 00:20:06.859
 therefore,

00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:07.579
 if marriage

00:20:07.579 --> 00:20:08.519
 is a picture,

00:20:09.099 --> 00:20:09.639
 if it meant

00:20:09.639 --> 00:20:10.359
 to display,

00:20:10.539 --> 00:20:12.019
 reflect a greater glory,

00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:13.619
 let's look

00:20:13.619 --> 00:20:14.599
 at how we do

00:20:14.599 --> 00:20:15.740
 that in marriage.

00:20:16.899 --> 00:20:17.660
 Ephesians 5.

00:20:17.660 --> 00:20:18.279
 tells us

00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:18.900
 that this is,

00:20:19.080 --> 00:20:19.279
 in fact,

00:20:19.320 --> 00:20:19.740
 the profound

00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:20.600
 mystery of marriage

00:20:20.600 --> 00:20:21.140
 between a man

00:20:21.140 --> 00:20:21.460
 and a woman.

00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:23.100
 It's a living

00:20:23.100 --> 00:20:23.779
 illustration

00:20:23.779 --> 00:20:24.600
 of the relationship

00:20:24.600 --> 00:20:25.160
 between,

00:20:25.660 --> 00:20:26.380
 the saving

00:20:26.380 --> 00:20:26.720
 relationship

00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:27.320
 between

00:20:27.320 --> 00:20:28.560
 Christ

00:20:28.560 --> 00:20:29.500
 and his church.

00:20:30.320 --> 00:20:30.700
 And so,

00:20:30.779 --> 00:20:31.060
 when

00:20:31.060 --> 00:20:33.500
 Ephesians 5

00:20:33.500 --> 00:20:35.779
 talks about

00:20:35.779 --> 00:20:37.220
 specific roles,

00:20:37.840 --> 00:20:39.200
 what is happening

00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:39.820
 here

00:20:39.820 --> 00:20:40.860
 is it's

00:20:40.860 --> 00:20:41.340
 revealing

00:20:41.340 --> 00:20:42.220
 something

00:20:42.220 --> 00:20:42.960
 magnificent

00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:43.420
 and about

00:20:43.420 --> 00:20:44.100
 God.

00:20:45.720 --> 00:20:46.660
 And what

00:20:46.660 --> 00:20:47.360
 we discover

00:20:47.360 --> 00:20:48.539
 is that

00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:49.100
 Jesus

00:20:49.100 --> 00:20:50.299
 is the

00:20:50.299 --> 00:20:50.819
 pattern

00:20:50.819 --> 00:20:52.380
 for both

00:20:52.380 --> 00:20:53.000
 genders

00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:53.880
 and both

00:20:53.880 --> 00:20:54.579
 roles.

00:20:56.420 --> 00:20:57.500
 First of all,

00:20:57.579 --> 00:20:58.220
 we see it

00:20:58.220 --> 00:20:59.120
 in the submission

00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:00.700
 of Jesus.

00:21:01.980 --> 00:21:03.059
 Philippians 2,

00:21:03.120 --> 00:21:04.120
 verses 5 to 11,

00:21:04.299 --> 00:21:04.740
 celebrate

00:21:04.740 --> 00:21:05.380
 that although

00:21:05.380 --> 00:21:06.220
 Jesus was

00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:07.299
 equal with

00:21:07.299 --> 00:21:08.059
 God,

00:21:09.419 --> 00:21:10.259
 he entered

00:21:10.259 --> 00:21:11.119
 himself of

00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:11.980
 his glory

00:21:11.980 --> 00:21:13.639
 and took

00:21:13.639 --> 00:21:14.339
 on the role

00:21:14.339 --> 00:21:14.919
 of a servant.

00:21:16.919 --> 00:21:17.839
 And these

00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:18.799
 verses teach

00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:20.899
 quite clearly

00:21:20.899 --> 00:21:21.759
 the equality

00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:22.519
 of the father

00:21:22.519 --> 00:21:23.519
 and the son,

00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:25.319
 but also

00:21:25.319 --> 00:21:27.279
 the voluntary

00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:28.059
 submission

00:21:28.059 --> 00:21:29.559
 of the son

00:21:29.559 --> 00:21:30.379
 to the

00:21:30.379 --> 00:21:30.879
 father

00:21:30.879 --> 00:21:34.099
 to secure

00:21:34.099 --> 00:21:35.660
 our salvation

00:21:35.660 --> 00:21:37.859
 for the

00:21:37.859 --> 00:21:38.779
 glory of

00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:39.319
 the father.

00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:45.879
 Nowhere

00:21:45.879 --> 00:21:48.420
 in the

00:21:48.420 --> 00:21:49.220
 New Testament

00:21:49.220 --> 00:21:51.359
 are we

00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:51.920
 told in

00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:52.519
 any way,

00:21:52.619 --> 00:21:53.079
 hinted at

00:21:53.079 --> 00:21:53.559
 in any

00:21:53.559 --> 00:21:53.799
 way,

00:21:53.899 --> 00:21:54.000
 the

00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:54.279
 God,

00:21:54.379 --> 00:21:54.480
 the

00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:54.779
 father

00:21:54.779 --> 00:21:55.460
 coerced,

00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:55.799
 forced,

00:21:55.939 --> 00:21:56.359
 manipulated,

00:21:56.539 --> 00:21:57.399
 or subjugated

00:21:57.399 --> 00:21:57.919
 the son

00:21:57.919 --> 00:21:59.039
 in any

00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.279
 way

00:21:59.279 --> 00:21:59.960
 whatsoever.

00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:01.539
 His

00:22:01.539 --> 00:22:02.079
 submission,

00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:02.819
 the submission

00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:03.679
 of the

00:22:03.679 --> 00:22:04.019
 son

00:22:04.019 --> 00:22:05.559
 is wholly

00:22:05.559 --> 00:22:06.519
 voluntary.

00:22:08.919 --> 00:22:09.639
 It was

00:22:09.639 --> 00:22:11.439
 his gift

00:22:11.439 --> 00:22:13.839
 to his

00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:14.259
 father.

00:22:17.259 --> 00:22:18.240
 And the

00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:18.879
 father

00:22:18.879 --> 00:22:20.579
 accepts

00:22:20.579 --> 00:22:21.299
 the gift

00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:22.419
 according to

00:22:22.420 --> 00:22:23.000
 Philippians

00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:23.560
 to,

00:22:23.560 --> 00:22:25.860
 and exalts

00:22:25.860 --> 00:22:26.460
 the son

00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:28.340
 to the

00:22:28.340 --> 00:22:28.640
 highest

00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:29.180
 place.

00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:33.080
 In other

00:22:33.080 --> 00:22:33.380
 words,

00:22:33.460 --> 00:22:34.420
 what happens

00:22:34.420 --> 00:22:37.039
 is each

00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:38.620
 exists to

00:22:38.620 --> 00:22:39.360
 please the

00:22:39.360 --> 00:22:39.680
 other,

00:22:39.800 --> 00:22:40.440
 to exalt

00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:41.200
 the other,

00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:43.060
 to love

00:22:43.060 --> 00:22:43.740
 and honour

00:22:43.740 --> 00:22:46.920
 the other.

00:22:46.920 --> 00:22:47.580
 and so

00:22:47.580 --> 00:22:47.860
 there's

00:22:47.860 --> 00:22:48.100
 this

00:22:48.100 --> 00:22:49.080
 reciprocal,

00:22:49.860 --> 00:22:50.160
 the

00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:52.000
 love and

00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:52.240
 honour

00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:52.720
 are given,

00:22:52.840 --> 00:22:53.100
 they are

00:22:53.100 --> 00:22:53.600
 accepted,

00:22:53.800 --> 00:22:54.000
 and they

00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:54.279
 are given

00:22:54.279 --> 00:22:54.740
 again.

00:22:58.200 --> 00:22:59.340
 And in

00:22:59.340 --> 00:23:00.100
 no sense

00:23:00.100 --> 00:23:00.840
 at all

00:23:00.840 --> 00:23:01.200
 from

00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:01.720
 Philippians

00:23:01.720 --> 00:23:02.140
 2,

00:23:04.320 --> 00:23:04.820
 is the

00:23:04.820 --> 00:23:05.300
 submission,

00:23:05.500 --> 00:23:06.019
 the voluntary

00:23:06.019 --> 00:23:06.920
 submission of

00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:07.279
 Jesus,

00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:08.340
 an assault

00:23:08.340 --> 00:23:09.539
 on his

00:23:09.539 --> 00:23:10.660
 dignity or

00:23:10.660 --> 00:23:11.420
 his divinity

00:23:11.420 --> 00:23:13.900
 in any way

00:23:13.900 --> 00:23:14.380
 whatsoever.

00:23:14.380 --> 00:23:17.400
 it was

00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:18.060
 in fact

00:23:18.060 --> 00:23:18.960
 the path,

00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:21.840
 it was

00:23:21.840 --> 00:23:22.660
 the path

00:23:22.660 --> 00:23:23.000
 to the

00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:23.860
 father giving

00:23:23.860 --> 00:23:24.580
 him greater

00:23:24.580 --> 00:23:25.020
 glory.

00:23:29.540 --> 00:23:30.260
 This

00:23:30.260 --> 00:23:31.420
 is the

00:23:31.420 --> 00:23:31.820
 vibrant

00:23:31.820 --> 00:23:32.380
 life of

00:23:32.380 --> 00:23:32.520
 the

00:23:32.520 --> 00:23:32.900
 trinity.

00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:35.400
 The

00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:35.960
 father and

00:23:35.960 --> 00:23:36.200
 son

00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:36.860
 relationship

00:23:36.860 --> 00:23:37.560
 is a

00:23:37.560 --> 00:23:38.180
 pattern of

00:23:38.180 --> 00:23:38.300
 the

00:23:38.300 --> 00:23:38.700
 relationship

00:23:38.700 --> 00:23:39.020
 between

00:23:39.020 --> 00:23:39.160
 the

00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:39.440
 husband

00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:40.440
 to

00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:40.960
 wife.

00:23:41.700 --> 00:23:42.120
 Submission

00:23:42.120 --> 00:23:42.960
 in marriage

00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.559
 is a

00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:44.000
 gift

00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:45.120
 offered

00:23:45.120 --> 00:23:45.660
 by the

00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:46.079
 wife

00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:47.079
 to the

00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:47.519
 husband

00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:51.720
 for her

00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:52.019
 greater

00:23:52.019 --> 00:23:52.380
 glory.

00:23:57.539 --> 00:23:58.140
 But

00:23:58.140 --> 00:23:59.860
 Jesus is

00:23:59.860 --> 00:24:00.299
 also the

00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:01.000
 pattern for

00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:01.440
 the husband.

00:24:03.220 --> 00:24:03.680
 It would

00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:04.140
 be a

00:24:04.140 --> 00:24:04.700
 mistake,

00:24:05.740 --> 00:24:06.940
 I think,

00:24:07.059 --> 00:24:07.660
 it would be a

00:24:07.660 --> 00:24:08.000
 mistake,

00:24:08.140 --> 00:24:08.680
 and husbands,

00:24:09.079 --> 00:24:09.940
 you need to

00:24:09.940 --> 00:24:10.460
 hear this,

00:24:10.460 --> 00:24:11.759
 it's a

00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:12.680
 mistake to

00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:14.799
 see that

00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:16.420
 it takes

00:24:16.420 --> 00:24:17.259
 an equal

00:24:17.259 --> 00:24:18.279
 degree of

00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:18.900
 submission

00:24:18.900 --> 00:24:20.180
 for men

00:24:20.180 --> 00:24:21.220
 to submit

00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:21.960
 to their

00:24:21.960 --> 00:24:23.000
 roles as

00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:23.380
 servant

00:24:23.380 --> 00:24:23.920
 leaders.

00:24:27.620 --> 00:24:28.660
 Particularly

00:24:28.660 --> 00:24:31.000
 if we

00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:32.039
 see ourselves

00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:33.779
 maturing by

00:24:33.779 --> 00:24:34.380
 detachment

00:24:34.380 --> 00:24:35.700
 and

00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:36.380
 independence.

00:24:36.380 --> 00:24:39.640
 you see,

00:24:39.760 --> 00:24:40.620
 what Jesus

00:24:40.620 --> 00:24:41.760
 does in

00:24:41.760 --> 00:24:42.260
 his life,

00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:42.520
 in his

00:24:42.520 --> 00:24:42.820
 ministry,

00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:43.080
 in his

00:24:43.080 --> 00:24:43.500
 teaching,

00:24:44.060 --> 00:24:44.420
 is he

00:24:44.420 --> 00:24:45.480
 doesn't give

00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:46.200
 us a

00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:47.060
 different

00:24:47.060 --> 00:24:48.860
 definition

00:24:48.860 --> 00:24:49.220
 of

00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:49.800
 leadership,

00:24:49.940 --> 00:24:50.240
 he doesn't

00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:50.660
 give us an

00:24:50.660 --> 00:24:51.280
 alternative,

00:24:51.840 --> 00:24:52.260
 what he

00:24:52.260 --> 00:24:52.880
 does is he

00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:53.600
 actually reveals

00:24:53.600 --> 00:24:54.080
 the true

00:24:54.080 --> 00:24:54.640
 definition

00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:57.080
 of what

00:24:57.080 --> 00:24:57.600
 leadership

00:24:57.600 --> 00:24:58.920
 actually is

00:24:58.920 --> 00:24:59.720
 in every

00:24:59.720 --> 00:24:59.980
 sense,

00:25:00.060 --> 00:25:00.560
 in all

00:25:00.560 --> 00:25:01.020
 leadership,

00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:01.880
 all

00:25:01.880 --> 00:25:02.260
 leadership

00:25:02.260 --> 00:25:02.760
 is.

00:25:02.759 --> 00:25:11.779
 greatness is

00:25:11.779 --> 00:25:12.480
 the one

00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:13.160
 who is

00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:13.920
 most

00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:15.420
 self-effacing,

00:25:16.099 --> 00:25:17.640
 most

00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:18.619
 sacrificial,

00:25:19.940 --> 00:25:20.319
 most

00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:21.779
 devoted to

00:25:21.779 --> 00:25:22.220
 the good

00:25:22.220 --> 00:25:22.680
 of the

00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:22.980
 other.

00:25:24.940 --> 00:25:25.700
 A famous

00:25:25.700 --> 00:25:26.160
 passage,

00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:26.759
 John 13,

00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:28.220
 Jesus

00:25:28.220 --> 00:25:29.140
 washes

00:25:29.140 --> 00:25:29.660
 these

00:25:29.660 --> 00:25:30.180
 disciples'

00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:30.660
 feet.

00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:30.800
 servant,

00:25:31.700 --> 00:25:32.160
 and what's

00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:32.900
 famous about

00:25:32.900 --> 00:25:33.380
 it is that

00:25:33.380 --> 00:25:33.980
 the master,

00:25:34.100 --> 00:25:34.380
 the one

00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:34.700
 that they

00:25:34.700 --> 00:25:35.160
 have become

00:25:35.160 --> 00:25:35.600
 to know

00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:36.220
 as the

00:25:36.220 --> 00:25:36.759
 Lord,

00:25:38.100 --> 00:25:39.460
 becomes

00:25:39.460 --> 00:25:40.140
 the servant,

00:25:40.300 --> 00:25:40.660
 takes on

00:25:40.660 --> 00:25:41.360
 the role

00:25:41.360 --> 00:25:42.019
 of the

00:25:42.019 --> 00:25:42.440
 lowest

00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:43.680
 activity

00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:44.360
 of a

00:25:44.360 --> 00:25:44.680
 servant

00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:45.880
 in Jesus'

00:25:46.100 --> 00:25:46.519
 culture,

00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:47.820
 to wash

00:25:47.820 --> 00:25:48.860
 the feet

00:25:48.860 --> 00:25:50.080
 of those

00:25:50.080 --> 00:25:50.680
 who were

00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:51.380
 superior.

00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:53.820
 And what

00:25:53.820 --> 00:25:54.779
 he demonstrates

00:25:54.779 --> 00:25:55.480
 here in the

00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:56.140
 most dramatic

00:25:56.140 --> 00:25:57.640
 way is that

00:25:57.640 --> 00:25:58.560
 authority and

00:25:58.560 --> 00:25:59.519
 leadership mean

00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:00.380
 that you become

00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:01.080
 the servant.

00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:02.360
 You die to

00:26:02.360 --> 00:26:03.440
 serve in

00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:03.920
 order to

00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:04.600
 love and

00:26:04.600 --> 00:26:05.080
 to serve

00:26:05.080 --> 00:26:05.740
 others.

00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:08.720
 As Jesus

00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:09.700
 tells us in

00:26:09.700 --> 00:26:10.340
 Mark 10,

00:26:10.420 --> 00:26:10.760
 he did not

00:26:10.760 --> 00:26:11.280
 come to be

00:26:11.280 --> 00:26:11.740
 served but

00:26:11.740 --> 00:26:12.400
 to serve

00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:13.360
 and to

00:26:13.360 --> 00:26:13.780
 serve to

00:26:13.780 --> 00:26:14.340
 the point

00:26:14.340 --> 00:26:15.200
 of surrendering

00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:15.940
 his life

00:26:15.940 --> 00:26:16.580
 to death.

00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:18.960
 That much

00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:19.200
 of a

00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:19.880
 sacrifice.

00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:21.640
 And so

00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:22.200
 what Jesus

00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:23.020
 reveals

00:26:23.020 --> 00:26:24.800
 directly from

00:26:24.800 --> 00:26:25.400
 the God

00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:25.800
 head,

00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:27.760
 the design

00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:28.559
 of creation

00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:30.119
 is that

00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:30.859
 all

00:26:30.859 --> 00:26:31.799
 authority

00:26:31.799 --> 00:26:32.740
 is

00:26:32.740 --> 00:26:33.579
 servant

00:26:33.579 --> 00:26:34.480
 authority.

00:26:35.379 --> 00:26:36.240
 Not some

00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:36.559
 of it,

00:26:37.819 --> 00:26:38.379
 all

00:26:38.379 --> 00:26:39.319
 authority

00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:40.140
 is

00:26:40.140 --> 00:26:40.559
 servant.

00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:40.920
 There is

00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:41.500
 no other

00:26:41.500 --> 00:26:42.039
 definition

00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:43.879
 except one

00:26:43.879 --> 00:26:44.140
 that's

00:26:44.140 --> 00:26:44.660
 redefined

00:26:44.660 --> 00:26:45.180
 by sin.

00:26:48.180 --> 00:26:49.099
 Any

00:26:49.099 --> 00:26:49.759
 exercise

00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:50.660
 of authority

00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:51.400
 and power

00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:52.259
 to please

00:26:52.259 --> 00:26:52.980
 or advance

00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:53.579
 yourself

00:26:53.579 --> 00:26:54.740
 is in

00:26:54.740 --> 00:26:55.279
 effect

00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:56.240
 an

00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:57.059
 abdication

00:26:57.059 --> 00:26:58.980
 of

00:26:58.980 --> 00:26:59.339
 authority

00:26:59.339 --> 00:26:59.519
 and

00:26:59.519 --> 00:26:59.839
 leadership.

00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:04.419
 That's

00:27:04.419 --> 00:27:04.759
 what it

00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:04.919
 is.

00:27:04.980 --> 00:27:05.339
 It's an

00:27:05.339 --> 00:27:06.139
 abdication

00:27:06.139 --> 00:27:06.759
 of authority

00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:07.299
 and leadership.

00:27:10.199 --> 00:27:10.559
 And so

00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:11.339
 in Ephesians

00:27:11.339 --> 00:27:11.839
 5,

00:27:11.939 --> 00:27:12.419
 the husband

00:27:12.419 --> 00:27:13.240
 submits

00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:14.279
 to the

00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:14.939
 role of

00:27:14.939 --> 00:27:15.299
 servant

00:27:15.299 --> 00:27:15.759
 leader

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.079
 who uses

00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:18.879
 his authority

00:27:18.879 --> 00:27:19.639
 and his

00:27:19.639 --> 00:27:20.279
 power

00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:21.639
 to express

00:27:21.639 --> 00:27:22.500
 a love

00:27:22.500 --> 00:27:23.279
 that does

00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:23.720
 not even

00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:24.519
 stop

00:27:24.519 --> 00:27:26.500
 at dying

00:27:26.500 --> 00:27:27.279
 for his

00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:28.039
 beloved.

00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:30.480
 That's

00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:30.900
 headship

00:27:30.900 --> 00:27:32.359
 in

00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:32.700
 Ephesians

00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:33.019
 5.

00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:34.980
 In other

00:27:34.980 --> 00:27:35.440
 words,

00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:37.660
 when you

00:27:37.660 --> 00:27:38.200
 step back

00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:38.420
 and you

00:27:38.420 --> 00:27:38.680
 look at

00:27:38.680 --> 00:27:39.119
 Ephesians

00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:39.720
 5,

00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:40.759
 both

00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:41.180
 headship

00:27:41.180 --> 00:27:41.500
 and

00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:42.039
 submission,

00:27:42.779 --> 00:27:43.480
 both husband

00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:44.380
 and wife

00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:44.859
 get to

00:27:44.859 --> 00:27:46.099
 play the

00:27:46.099 --> 00:27:46.779
 role of

00:27:46.779 --> 00:27:47.119
 Jesus

00:27:47.119 --> 00:27:47.859
 in their

00:27:47.859 --> 00:27:48.339
 marriage.

00:27:48.339 --> 00:27:52.579
 Jesus

00:27:52.579 --> 00:27:53.240
 in his

00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:53.959
 sacrificial

00:27:53.959 --> 00:27:54.539
 submission

00:27:54.539 --> 00:27:55.980
 or Jesus

00:27:55.980 --> 00:27:56.699
 in his

00:27:56.699 --> 00:27:57.419
 sacrificial

00:27:57.419 --> 00:27:58.299
 authority

00:27:58.299 --> 00:27:59.539
 to their

00:27:59.539 --> 00:27:59.959
 spouse.

00:28:02.059 --> 00:28:02.459
 So,

00:28:03.740 --> 00:28:06.240
 how do

00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:07.099
 we work

00:28:07.099 --> 00:28:08.059
 against

00:28:08.059 --> 00:28:09.299
 sin,

00:28:10.059 --> 00:28:10.379
 which

00:28:10.379 --> 00:28:10.779
 happened in

00:28:10.779 --> 00:28:11.159
 the Garden

00:28:11.159 --> 00:28:11.619
 of Eden,

00:28:12.519 --> 00:28:13.019
 where the

00:28:13.019 --> 00:28:13.559
 oneness,

00:28:14.039 --> 00:28:14.519
 because of

00:28:14.519 --> 00:28:14.859
 sin,

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:15.199
 there's

00:28:15.199 --> 00:28:15.839
 separation

00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:17.379
 and fear,

00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:19.839
 lack of

00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:20.099
 vulnerability,

00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:21.059
 cover up.

00:28:22.579 --> 00:28:23.359
 What does it

00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:23.859
 look like in

00:28:23.859 --> 00:28:24.259
 practice?

00:28:25.259 --> 00:28:27.299
 What is this

00:28:27.299 --> 00:28:28.399
 gender role

00:28:28.399 --> 00:28:28.839
 and difference?

00:28:28.919 --> 00:28:29.240
 What does it

00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:29.919
 mean in

00:28:29.919 --> 00:28:30.419
 actual

00:28:30.419 --> 00:28:31.199
 practice?

00:28:32.439 --> 00:28:32.679
 Now,

00:28:34.339 --> 00:28:34.959
 without your

00:28:34.959 --> 00:28:35.819
 pen and

00:28:35.819 --> 00:28:36.339
 your paper,

00:28:36.339 --> 00:28:41.039
 because,

00:28:41.679 --> 00:28:42.019
 actually,

00:28:42.179 --> 00:28:42.519
 don't do

00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:42.679
 that,

00:28:42.740 --> 00:28:43.059
 because I'm

00:28:43.059 --> 00:28:43.259
 not going

00:28:43.259 --> 00:28:43.439
 to give

00:28:43.439 --> 00:28:43.619
 you a

00:28:43.619 --> 00:28:44.740
 list at

00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:45.019
 all.

00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:46.399
 This is,

00:28:46.539 --> 00:28:47.000
 in fact,

00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:47.480
 where it's

00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:48.220
 incredibly

00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:49.500
 frustrating for

00:28:49.500 --> 00:28:49.899
 those who

00:28:49.899 --> 00:28:50.519
 want lists,

00:28:51.019 --> 00:28:51.459
 for those who

00:28:51.459 --> 00:28:52.039
 want rules,

00:28:52.179 --> 00:28:52.659
 for those who

00:28:52.659 --> 00:28:53.379
 want just a

00:28:53.379 --> 00:28:53.980
 job description.

00:28:54.599 --> 00:28:54.839
 You know,

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:55.379
 Steve,

00:28:55.419 --> 00:28:55.740
 could you whip

00:28:55.740 --> 00:28:56.159
 out a job

00:28:56.159 --> 00:28:57.000
 description and

00:28:57.000 --> 00:28:57.579
 just print one

00:28:57.579 --> 00:28:57.939
 out and send

00:28:57.939 --> 00:28:58.379
 us to it

00:28:58.379 --> 00:28:59.099
 tomorrow and

00:28:59.099 --> 00:28:59.740
 tell me what

00:28:59.740 --> 00:29:00.359
 my role is.

00:29:00.959 --> 00:29:01.939
 This is where

00:29:01.939 --> 00:29:02.859
 the Bible

00:29:02.859 --> 00:29:03.500
 gives us,

00:29:03.740 --> 00:29:03.939
 I mean,

00:29:03.959 --> 00:29:04.599
 it tells us

00:29:04.599 --> 00:29:05.019
 this and

00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:05.419
 doesn't give

00:29:05.419 --> 00:29:05.699
 us any

00:29:05.699 --> 00:29:06.179
 details.

00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:06.420
 It's what

00:29:06.420 --> 00:29:06.700
 it looks

00:29:06.700 --> 00:29:07.039
 like.

00:29:08.820 --> 00:29:09.259
 Nowhere,

00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:10.539
 nowhere anywhere

00:29:10.539 --> 00:29:11.340
 in the Bible

00:29:11.340 --> 00:29:12.200
 does it say

00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:12.720
 that a wife

00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.259
 should stay

00:29:13.259 --> 00:29:13.720
 at home,

00:29:14.180 --> 00:29:14.580
 never have

00:29:14.580 --> 00:29:15.060
 a career,

00:29:15.299 --> 00:29:16.140
 be responsible

00:29:16.140 --> 00:29:16.640
 for the

00:29:16.640 --> 00:29:17.279
 childcare and

00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:17.680
 the cooking.

00:29:19.019 --> 00:29:19.740
 Neither does

00:29:19.740 --> 00:29:20.140
 it say

00:29:20.140 --> 00:29:21.060
 husbands are

00:29:21.060 --> 00:29:21.799
 the breadwinners,

00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:22.279
 they're to do

00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:22.600
 the home

00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:22.980
 maintenance,

00:29:23.140 --> 00:29:23.519
 manage the

00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:24.220
 finances and

00:29:24.220 --> 00:29:24.560
 choose the

00:29:24.560 --> 00:29:25.160
 family car.

00:29:25.880 --> 00:29:26.539
 Nowhere at

00:29:26.539 --> 00:29:28.320
 all does

00:29:28.320 --> 00:29:29.039
 it say that,

00:29:29.180 --> 00:29:29.840
 at all.

00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:33.480
 Any such

00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:34.920
 stereotypes

00:29:34.920 --> 00:29:36.940
 are entirely

00:29:36.940 --> 00:29:37.640
 culturally

00:29:37.640 --> 00:29:38.100
 driven.

00:29:39.620 --> 00:29:40.060
 They are

00:29:40.060 --> 00:29:40.580
 not the

00:29:40.580 --> 00:29:41.380
 definition of

00:29:41.380 --> 00:29:41.500
 the

00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:41.980
 traditional

00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:43.519
 Christian

00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:44.320
 marriage at

00:29:44.320 --> 00:29:45.019
 all in

00:29:45.019 --> 00:29:45.700
 any way.

00:29:48.700 --> 00:29:49.600
 In fact,

00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:50.200
 in Jesus'

00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:50.800
 time,

00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:51.800
 there's no

00:29:51.800 --> 00:29:52.500
 way those

00:29:52.500 --> 00:29:53.120
 cultural

00:29:53.120 --> 00:29:53.920
 stereotypes

00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:54.380
 would have

00:29:54.380 --> 00:29:54.800
 worked.

00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:56.519
 The cultural

00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:57.519
 stereotypes that

00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:58.560
 we think in

00:29:58.560 --> 00:29:58.820
 Western

00:29:58.820 --> 00:30:00.220
 civilisation are

00:30:00.220 --> 00:30:00.660
 traditional

00:30:00.660 --> 00:30:01.100
 cultural

00:30:01.100 --> 00:30:01.660
 marriage,

00:30:01.660 --> 00:30:02.480
 traditional

00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:02.940
 Christian

00:30:02.940 --> 00:30:03.400
 marriage,

00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:05.400
 arose out

00:30:05.400 --> 00:30:05.960
 of

00:30:05.960 --> 00:30:07.080
 enlightenment

00:30:07.080 --> 00:30:07.620
 and the

00:30:07.620 --> 00:30:08.340
 industrialised

00:30:08.340 --> 00:30:08.800
 age.

00:30:10.259 --> 00:30:10.779
 We're

00:30:10.779 --> 00:30:11.660
 flocking to

00:30:11.660 --> 00:30:12.180
 the city

00:30:12.180 --> 00:30:12.700
 and for

00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:13.160
 the first

00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:13.620
 time in

00:30:13.620 --> 00:30:14.040
 history,

00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:15.440
 the man

00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:16.360
 gets up

00:30:16.360 --> 00:30:16.980
 or someone

00:30:16.980 --> 00:30:17.580
 gets up

00:30:17.580 --> 00:30:17.960
 and has

00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:18.240
 got to

00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:18.560
 go to

00:30:18.560 --> 00:30:18.980
 work in

00:30:18.980 --> 00:30:19.500
 a factory.

00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:21.640
 Well,

00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:22.019
 who looks

00:30:22.019 --> 00:30:22.440
 after the

00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:22.660
 kids?

00:30:22.700 --> 00:30:23.040
 You can't

00:30:23.040 --> 00:30:23.360
 take them

00:30:23.360 --> 00:30:23.600
 to the

00:30:23.600 --> 00:30:24.019
 factory.

00:30:25.100 --> 00:30:25.660
 Before

00:30:25.660 --> 00:30:25.920
 the

00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:26.740
 industrialised

00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:27.060
 age,

00:30:27.140 --> 00:30:27.420
 in an

00:30:27.420 --> 00:30:27.980
 agrarian

00:30:27.980 --> 00:30:28.480
 culture,

00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:29.660
 both husband

00:30:29.660 --> 00:30:30.519
 and wife

00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:30.820
 were in

00:30:30.819 --> 00:30:33.000
 the

00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:33.399
 paddock,

00:30:33.399 --> 00:30:33.599
 as you'll

00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:34.099
 find in

00:30:34.099 --> 00:30:34.799
 most farms

00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.339
 today.

00:30:36.859 --> 00:30:37.379
 They're both

00:30:37.379 --> 00:30:37.659
 in the

00:30:37.659 --> 00:30:38.039
 paddock.

00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:39.200
 They're both

00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:39.619
 doing,

00:30:40.740 --> 00:30:41.000
 well,

00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:41.220
 they didn't

00:30:41.220 --> 00:30:41.799
 have cars,

00:30:41.899 --> 00:30:42.200
 you know,

00:30:42.879 --> 00:30:43.359
 fixing the

00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:43.939
 cart or the

00:30:43.939 --> 00:30:44.379
 camel or

00:30:44.379 --> 00:30:44.759
 whatever it

00:30:44.759 --> 00:30:44.939
 is.

00:30:45.879 --> 00:30:46.500
 They're both

00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:46.980
 doing that

00:30:46.980 --> 00:30:47.639
 work.

00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:49.059
 You see,

00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:49.480
 the Bible

00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:50.019
 was written

00:30:50.019 --> 00:30:50.619
 for all

00:30:50.619 --> 00:30:51.279
 cultures

00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:52.859
 across the

00:30:52.859 --> 00:30:53.379
 centuries,

00:30:54.179 --> 00:30:54.500
 and so

00:30:54.500 --> 00:30:55.899
 any rigid

00:30:55.899 --> 00:30:56.859
 cultural

00:30:56.859 --> 00:30:58.200
 gender roles

00:30:58.200 --> 00:30:58.939
 have no

00:30:58.939 --> 00:30:59.319
 biblical

00:30:59.319 --> 00:31:00.019
 warrant at

00:31:00.019 --> 00:31:00.339
 all.

00:31:00.819 --> 00:31:02.319
 If you're

00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:03.200
 feeling guilty

00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:04.720
 at all

00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.480
 about any

00:31:05.480 --> 00:31:05.819
 of that

00:31:05.819 --> 00:31:06.179
 stuff,

00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:06.720
 you should

00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:07.099
 not.

00:31:08.879 --> 00:31:09.399
 The Bible

00:31:09.399 --> 00:31:10.460
 allows for

00:31:10.460 --> 00:31:11.139
 freedom in

00:31:11.139 --> 00:31:12.099
 the particulars

00:31:12.099 --> 00:31:13.220
 while still

00:31:13.220 --> 00:31:14.359
 upholding the

00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:14.859
 principle.

00:31:17.179 --> 00:31:17.859
 The basic

00:31:17.859 --> 00:31:19.159
 roles of

00:31:19.159 --> 00:31:21.099
 leader and

00:31:21.099 --> 00:31:21.579
 helper

00:31:21.579 --> 00:31:23.859
 are binding,

00:31:24.119 --> 00:31:24.439
 or if you

00:31:24.439 --> 00:31:24.619
 like,

00:31:24.659 --> 00:31:25.039
 the basic

00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:26.879
 function of

00:31:26.879 --> 00:31:27.720
 leader and

00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:28.399
 helper are

00:31:28.399 --> 00:31:28.779
 binding.

00:31:28.779 --> 00:31:30.160
 people

00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.319
 must work

00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:33.240
 out for

00:31:33.240 --> 00:31:34.099
 themselves

00:31:34.099 --> 00:31:35.379
 how this

00:31:35.379 --> 00:31:36.019
 is expressed

00:31:36.019 --> 00:31:36.599
 in their

00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:37.240
 marriage.

00:31:41.240 --> 00:31:42.220
 The very

00:31:42.220 --> 00:31:44.279
 process of

00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:45.440
 actually going

00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:46.779
 through that

00:31:46.779 --> 00:31:49.619
 is what I

00:31:49.619 --> 00:31:50.359
 think is part

00:31:50.359 --> 00:31:50.899
 of what it

00:31:50.899 --> 00:31:51.420
 means to

00:31:51.420 --> 00:31:51.960
 honour your

00:31:51.960 --> 00:31:52.220
 gender

00:31:52.220 --> 00:31:52.720
 differences.

00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:55.140
 rather than

00:31:55.140 --> 00:31:56.059
 just walking

00:31:56.059 --> 00:31:56.819
 into it,

00:31:56.860 --> 00:31:57.460
 which most

00:31:57.460 --> 00:31:58.100
 of us do,

00:31:58.600 --> 00:31:59.240
 walk into

00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:00.539
 marriage just

00:32:00.539 --> 00:32:01.839
 assuming the

00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:02.299
 roles that

00:32:02.299 --> 00:32:02.920
 we've inherited

00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:04.339
 without giving

00:32:04.339 --> 00:32:05.160
 it any thought

00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:06.559
 whatsoever as

00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:07.839
 to what the

00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:08.660
 biblical structure

00:32:08.660 --> 00:32:09.200
 of it might

00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:09.579
 be.

00:32:12.259 --> 00:32:13.180
 And so,

00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:14.000
 husbands, if I

00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:14.640
 can speak to

00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:14.920
 you,

00:32:14.920 --> 00:32:17.960
 some of

00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:18.700
 us may

00:32:18.700 --> 00:32:19.180
 need to

00:32:19.180 --> 00:32:19.740
 work on

00:32:19.740 --> 00:32:20.360
 the leader

00:32:20.360 --> 00:32:21.860
 part of

00:32:21.860 --> 00:32:22.640
 being a

00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:23.180
 servant

00:32:23.180 --> 00:32:23.620
 leader.

00:32:25.940 --> 00:32:26.820
 That is,

00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:28.960
 we're more

00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:29.820
 likely to

00:32:29.820 --> 00:32:31.060
 give in and

00:32:31.060 --> 00:32:31.600
 just go,

00:32:31.700 --> 00:32:31.779
 yeah,

00:32:31.860 --> 00:32:32.039
 whatever,

00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:32.400
 whatever,

00:32:32.500 --> 00:32:32.720
 whatever,

00:32:32.779 --> 00:32:33.060
 whatever.

00:32:34.060 --> 00:32:35.120
 And therefore,

00:32:35.220 --> 00:32:35.700
 when we do

00:32:35.700 --> 00:32:36.300
 that, we're

00:32:36.300 --> 00:32:37.140
 abdicating to

00:32:37.140 --> 00:32:37.820
 the wife to

00:32:37.820 --> 00:32:38.180
 make the

00:32:38.180 --> 00:32:38.620
 decision.

00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:40.039
 Dig down

00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:40.720
 our heart,

00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:41.240
 we just

00:32:41.240 --> 00:32:42.220
 don't want to

00:32:42.220 --> 00:32:42.700
 have to go

00:32:42.700 --> 00:32:42.900
 there.

00:32:42.980 --> 00:32:43.140
 We don't

00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:43.420
 want to take

00:32:43.420 --> 00:32:44.140
 the responsibility.

00:32:44.140 --> 00:32:44.960
 And so,

00:32:45.040 --> 00:32:45.380
 for some

00:32:45.380 --> 00:32:45.720
 of us,

00:32:45.880 --> 00:32:46.520
 that's what

00:32:46.520 --> 00:32:46.840
 we need

00:32:46.840 --> 00:32:47.280
 to do.

00:32:48.620 --> 00:32:49.420
 For me,

00:32:49.780 --> 00:32:50.480
 I've had to

00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:50.940
 work on

00:32:50.940 --> 00:32:53.080
 the servant

00:32:53.080 --> 00:32:54.259
 part of

00:32:54.259 --> 00:32:54.720
 the servant

00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:56.720
 leadership in

00:32:56.720 --> 00:32:57.759
 my marriage.

00:32:59.540 --> 00:33:00.160
 My

00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:01.280
 maleness is

00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:02.020
 that I

00:33:02.020 --> 00:33:03.120
 tend to

00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:04.520
 be, and

00:33:04.520 --> 00:33:04.940
 always have

00:33:04.940 --> 00:33:05.180
 been,

00:33:05.259 --> 00:33:05.800
 someone who

00:33:05.800 --> 00:33:06.520
 has looked

00:33:06.520 --> 00:33:07.800
 outward and

00:33:07.800 --> 00:33:08.800
 looked forward

00:33:08.800 --> 00:33:09.960
 in life.

00:33:11.020 --> 00:33:12.120
 I tend

00:33:12.120 --> 00:33:12.820
 to be quick

00:33:12.820 --> 00:33:14.120
 to step

00:33:14.119 --> 00:33:14.500
 stand on

00:33:14.500 --> 00:33:15.000
 principle,

00:33:15.719 --> 00:33:16.459
 to be

00:33:16.459 --> 00:33:17.559
 logical in

00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:18.119
 my problem

00:33:18.119 --> 00:33:18.619
 solving,

00:33:19.199 --> 00:33:19.739
 to planning

00:33:19.739 --> 00:33:20.239
 a course

00:33:20.239 --> 00:33:20.799
 of action

00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:21.759
 and getting

00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:22.379
 a job

00:33:22.379 --> 00:33:22.839
 done.

00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:23.539
 And those

00:33:23.539 --> 00:33:24.959
 gifts have

00:33:24.959 --> 00:33:25.779
 been affirmed

00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:26.500
 not just by

00:33:26.500 --> 00:33:27.039
 Nat, but

00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:27.899
 affirmed by

00:33:27.899 --> 00:33:31.039
 people in

00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:31.919
 life for me,

00:33:32.139 --> 00:33:32.799
 even in my

00:33:32.799 --> 00:33:33.959
 very first

00:33:33.959 --> 00:33:35.519
 job as a

00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:36.379
 15-year-old.

00:33:36.380 --> 00:33:36.500
 gift.

00:33:36.500 --> 00:33:40.100
 But even

00:33:40.100 --> 00:33:41.240
 those gifts

00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:43.240
 must be

00:33:43.240 --> 00:33:43.820
 balanced

00:33:43.820 --> 00:33:45.880
 because,

00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:47.060
 as it

00:33:47.060 --> 00:33:47.800
 turns out,

00:33:48.560 --> 00:33:49.140
 I should

00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:49.760
 never have

00:33:49.760 --> 00:33:50.420
 locked in the

00:33:50.420 --> 00:33:50.800
 date and

00:33:50.800 --> 00:33:51.320
 venue for

00:33:51.320 --> 00:33:51.740
 our wedding

00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:52.000
 without

00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:52.560
 consulting

00:33:52.560 --> 00:33:52.960
 that.

00:33:56.760 --> 00:33:58.680
 And in

00:33:58.680 --> 00:33:58.980
 my

00:33:58.980 --> 00:33:59.800
 mildness,

00:34:00.340 --> 00:34:01.580
 I can't

00:34:01.580 --> 00:34:02.300
 even believe

00:34:02.300 --> 00:34:03.020
 it really,

00:34:03.019 --> 00:34:03.740
 that I

00:34:03.740 --> 00:34:03.980
 did it,

00:34:04.039 --> 00:34:04.359
 but in

00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:04.599
 my

00:34:04.599 --> 00:34:05.180
 mildness,

00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:05.700
 I was

00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:06.259
 genuinely

00:34:06.259 --> 00:34:07.059
 surprised that

00:34:07.059 --> 00:34:07.559
 she was

00:34:07.559 --> 00:34:10.519
 shocked and

00:34:10.519 --> 00:34:11.800
 not affirming

00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:12.639
 the decisiveness

00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:13.219
 of it.

00:34:19.699 --> 00:34:20.380
 Apparently,

00:34:20.579 --> 00:34:20.699
 I'm

00:34:20.699 --> 00:34:21.559
 frustratingly

00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:22.320
 masculine in

00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:22.539
 my

00:34:22.539 --> 00:34:23.079
 independence.

00:34:23.079 --> 00:34:26.579
 And yet,

00:34:26.739 --> 00:34:27.360
 Nat has

00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:28.420
 continued to

00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:29.139
 affirm my

00:34:29.139 --> 00:34:30.659
 gifting while

00:34:30.659 --> 00:34:31.759
 also on

00:34:31.759 --> 00:34:32.900
 many, many

00:34:32.900 --> 00:34:34.239
 occasions and

00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:35.299
 constantly leaning

00:34:35.299 --> 00:34:36.179
 into me to

00:34:36.179 --> 00:34:36.639
 help me to

00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:37.179
 see the

00:34:37.179 --> 00:34:38.579
 impact of

00:34:38.579 --> 00:34:40.319
 my giftedness,

00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:41.299
 my independence

00:34:41.299 --> 00:34:42.360
 on her and

00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:45.500
 others to

00:34:45.500 --> 00:34:45.980
 balance it

00:34:45.980 --> 00:34:46.259
 out.

00:34:49.259 --> 00:34:50.179
 And when

00:34:50.179 --> 00:34:50.819
 she leans

00:34:50.819 --> 00:34:51.659
 into that,

00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:52.699
 either

00:34:52.699 --> 00:34:53.859
 frustratingly

00:34:53.859 --> 00:34:57.079
 or really

00:34:57.079 --> 00:34:58.480
 kindly and

00:34:58.480 --> 00:34:59.119
 helpfully,

00:34:59.419 --> 00:34:59.939
 it doesn't

00:34:59.939 --> 00:35:00.199
 matter,

00:35:00.299 --> 00:35:01.000
 either way,

00:35:02.059 --> 00:35:02.799
 the reason

00:35:02.799 --> 00:35:03.659
 that I

00:35:03.659 --> 00:35:04.839
 need to

00:35:04.839 --> 00:35:07.199
 listen is

00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:08.339
 because Nat,

00:35:08.460 --> 00:35:09.279
 like no one

00:35:09.279 --> 00:35:10.739
 else, has

00:35:10.739 --> 00:35:12.359
 experienced the

00:35:12.359 --> 00:35:13.719
 negativity, the

00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:14.719
 sin, the

00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:16.379
 wickedness of

00:35:16.379 --> 00:35:17.539
 my unbalanced

00:35:17.539 --> 00:35:18.519
 maleness.

00:35:19.659 --> 00:35:20.759
 She sees it

00:35:20.759 --> 00:35:21.439
 in a way that

00:35:21.439 --> 00:35:21.919
 no one else

00:35:21.919 --> 00:35:22.419
 does.

00:35:22.699 --> 00:35:24.539
 and experience

00:35:24.539 --> 00:35:26.139
 it like no

00:35:26.139 --> 00:35:26.519
 one else

00:35:26.519 --> 00:35:27.139
 does.

00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:32.519
 And so she

00:35:32.519 --> 00:35:33.219
 could say to

00:35:33.219 --> 00:35:33.539
 me,

00:35:34.539 --> 00:35:36.639
 you need to

00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:37.039
 know how

00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:37.739
 this felt.

00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:44.439
 and so she

00:35:44.439 --> 00:35:45.559
 pushes me and

00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:46.419
 pushes me and

00:35:46.419 --> 00:35:47.159
 pushes me.

00:35:49.019 --> 00:35:49.579
 Can I

00:35:49.579 --> 00:35:49.939
 say,

00:35:51.379 --> 00:35:52.759
 this is my

00:35:52.759 --> 00:35:54.779
 fifth sermon,

00:35:54.899 --> 00:35:55.359
 I think, on

00:35:55.359 --> 00:35:56.000
 marriage that I've

00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:56.199
 done.

00:35:56.379 --> 00:35:56.739
 Are we up to

00:35:56.739 --> 00:35:57.199
 number six?

00:35:57.259 --> 00:35:57.859
 I can't remember.

00:35:58.059 --> 00:35:58.459
 Marriage number

00:35:58.459 --> 00:35:58.799
 six.

00:35:59.359 --> 00:35:59.959
 I think it's

00:35:59.959 --> 00:36:00.399
 five.

00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:02.139
 I've been doing

00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:02.840
 the reporting,

00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:06.900
 but Nat and I

00:36:06.900 --> 00:36:07.720
 both together

00:36:07.720 --> 00:36:09.119
 are behind

00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:10.079
 these messages.

00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:13.480
 She has

00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:14.000
 contributed.

00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.719
 I bring in the

00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:16.480
 Hebrew and the

00:36:16.480 --> 00:36:17.940
 biblical stuff,

00:36:18.559 --> 00:36:20.460
 but it is the

00:36:20.460 --> 00:36:21.480
 worked out

00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:23.400
 reality of it

00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:24.480
 that is not

00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:25.719
 just me and

00:36:25.719 --> 00:36:28.119
 my vocation

00:36:28.119 --> 00:36:28.920
 and education,

00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:31.940
 it is us,

00:36:32.940 --> 00:36:34.000
 even if I'm doing

00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:34.519
 the reporting.

00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:34.860
 so I just

00:36:34.860 --> 00:36:35.179
 want to make

00:36:35.179 --> 00:36:35.639
 that clear.

00:36:40.259 --> 00:36:41.259
 I, as a

00:36:41.259 --> 00:36:41.860
 male, have

00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:42.800
 needed all,

00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:43.880
 I need all

00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:44.679
 the help I

00:36:44.679 --> 00:36:45.239
 can get.

00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:47.059
 And that's

00:36:47.059 --> 00:36:47.900
 particularly so

00:36:47.900 --> 00:36:48.380
 because I've

00:36:48.380 --> 00:36:49.340
 got four people

00:36:49.340 --> 00:36:50.000
 who are opposite

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:50.659
 to me in the

00:36:50.659 --> 00:36:50.960
 home.

00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:53.199
 And God knew

00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:54.059
 exactly what I

00:36:54.059 --> 00:36:54.380
 needed.

00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:56.980
 He knew

00:36:56.980 --> 00:36:57.980
 exactly what I

00:36:57.980 --> 00:36:58.300
 needed.

00:37:00.519 --> 00:37:01.400
 I need all the

00:37:01.400 --> 00:37:02.219
 help I can get.

00:37:02.219 --> 00:37:05.339
 And what is

00:37:05.339 --> 00:37:06.599
 incredible is

00:37:06.599 --> 00:37:07.199
 that after

00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:08.500
 nearly three

00:37:08.500 --> 00:37:09.239
 decades, I

00:37:09.239 --> 00:37:09.659
 think, with

00:37:09.659 --> 00:37:11.199
 Nat, I've

00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:11.779
 learnt to

00:37:11.779 --> 00:37:12.980
 look at life

00:37:12.980 --> 00:37:13.559
 from her

00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:14.119
 perspective.

00:37:14.959 --> 00:37:15.799
 Not in the

00:37:15.799 --> 00:37:16.419
 same way she

00:37:16.419 --> 00:37:18.059
 does, but I

00:37:18.059 --> 00:37:18.559
 will find

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:19.480
 myself in

00:37:19.480 --> 00:37:20.319
 pastoral

00:37:20.319 --> 00:37:23.599
 scenarios and

00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:24.919
 a whole range

00:37:24.919 --> 00:37:25.599
 of things,

00:37:26.319 --> 00:37:27.159
 and I will

00:37:27.159 --> 00:37:27.919
 come quicker

00:37:27.919 --> 00:37:29.919
 to what

00:37:29.919 --> 00:37:30.419
 Nat's view

00:37:30.419 --> 00:37:31.039
 might be on

00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:31.679
 this scenario.

00:37:32.219 --> 00:37:35.299
 I did

00:37:35.299 --> 00:37:35.639
 something

00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:36.339
 recently

00:37:36.339 --> 00:37:41.019
 and I

00:37:41.019 --> 00:37:41.459
 listened to

00:37:41.459 --> 00:37:41.679
 my

00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:42.379
 maleness

00:37:42.379 --> 00:37:43.639
 and before

00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:44.079
 I got

00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:44.959
 home and

00:37:44.959 --> 00:37:45.619
 reported to

00:37:45.619 --> 00:37:46.579
 Nat, I

00:37:46.579 --> 00:37:47.279
 knew exactly

00:37:47.279 --> 00:37:47.619
 what I

00:37:47.619 --> 00:37:47.919
 should have

00:37:47.919 --> 00:37:48.339
 done because

00:37:48.339 --> 00:37:48.559
 I knew

00:37:48.559 --> 00:37:49.099
 exactly what

00:37:49.099 --> 00:37:49.379
 she would

00:37:49.379 --> 00:37:49.679
 say.

00:37:51.139 --> 00:37:51.799
 And she

00:37:51.799 --> 00:37:52.099
 did.

00:37:52.759 --> 00:37:53.039
 Of course,

00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:53.359
 then my

00:37:53.359 --> 00:37:53.699
 sinfulness

00:37:53.699 --> 00:37:54.059
 went into

00:37:54.059 --> 00:37:54.879
 self-justification

00:37:54.879 --> 00:37:55.239
 mode.

00:37:55.239 --> 00:37:59.539
 she has

00:37:59.539 --> 00:38:00.199
 been a

00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:00.779
 strong

00:38:00.779 --> 00:38:02.019
 helper to

00:38:02.019 --> 00:38:02.699
 save me

00:38:02.699 --> 00:38:03.339
 from drifting

00:38:03.339 --> 00:38:04.339
 into, on

00:38:04.339 --> 00:38:04.719
 the one

00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:05.479
 hand, toxic

00:38:05.479 --> 00:38:06.119
 masculinity,

00:38:06.779 --> 00:38:07.439
 and on the

00:38:07.439 --> 00:38:07.939
 other hand,

00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:08.859
 from abdicating

00:38:08.859 --> 00:38:09.739
 my masculinity

00:38:09.739 --> 00:38:12.259
 so that she

00:38:12.259 --> 00:38:13.000
 has to pick

00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:13.579
 up the

00:38:13.579 --> 00:38:14.539
 leadership role.

00:38:15.699 --> 00:38:16.239
 So husband

00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:16.739
 and wife are

00:38:16.739 --> 00:38:17.019
 there to

00:38:17.019 --> 00:38:17.719
 complement each

00:38:17.719 --> 00:38:17.939
 other.

00:38:17.940 --> 00:38:19.599
 And on a

00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:20.460
 deeper level,

00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:22.000
 we find out

00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:22.579
 who we

00:38:22.579 --> 00:38:23.440
 really are

00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:24.099
 because of

00:38:24.099 --> 00:38:24.940
 our spouse.

00:38:26.220 --> 00:38:27.200
 Because no

00:38:27.200 --> 00:38:28.400
 one can see

00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:29.780
 us the way

00:38:29.780 --> 00:38:30.380
 they see

00:38:30.380 --> 00:38:30.860
 us.

00:38:31.720 --> 00:38:32.599
 They see all

00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:33.260
 of our sins

00:38:33.260 --> 00:38:33.579
 and our

00:38:33.579 --> 00:38:34.059
 failings and

00:38:34.059 --> 00:38:34.480
 our faults

00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:34.740
 and our

00:38:34.740 --> 00:38:35.500
 weaknesses like

00:38:35.500 --> 00:38:36.260
 no other

00:38:36.260 --> 00:38:36.579
 one.

00:38:36.940 --> 00:38:37.440
 And they

00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:38.360
 experience it,

00:38:38.400 --> 00:38:38.720
 they are on

00:38:38.720 --> 00:38:39.400
 the receiving

00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:40.059
 end of it,

00:38:40.059 --> 00:38:41.039
 like no

00:38:41.039 --> 00:38:41.460
 other.

00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:43.539
 And so

00:38:43.539 --> 00:38:44.500
 in marriage,

00:38:44.739 --> 00:38:45.719
 as Nick

00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:47.759
 said last

00:38:47.759 --> 00:38:48.099
 week,

00:38:49.099 --> 00:38:49.699
 marriage a

00:38:49.699 --> 00:38:50.219
 truth,

00:38:50.579 --> 00:38:50.799
 loving

00:38:50.799 --> 00:38:51.239
 commitment

00:38:51.239 --> 00:38:51.960
 and grace,

00:38:53.199 --> 00:38:53.960
 a person

00:38:53.960 --> 00:38:55.199
 who is

00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:55.779
 like me

00:38:55.779 --> 00:38:56.420
 but opposite

00:38:56.420 --> 00:38:56.960
 me,

00:38:57.400 --> 00:38:58.019
 that person

00:38:58.019 --> 00:38:58.739
 is healing

00:38:58.739 --> 00:38:59.179
 me.

00:39:00.579 --> 00:39:00.900
 They're

00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:01.699
 shaping me.

00:39:02.739 --> 00:39:03.099
 And it

00:39:03.099 --> 00:39:03.699
 goes both

00:39:03.699 --> 00:39:04.219
 ways.

00:39:05.019 --> 00:39:05.139
 You know,

00:39:05.139 --> 00:39:06.000
 recently Nat

00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:06.679
 was frustrated

00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:07.059
 with an

00:39:07.059 --> 00:39:09.420
 issue and

00:39:09.420 --> 00:39:10.599
 to do,

00:39:10.820 --> 00:39:11.159
 I didn't

00:39:11.159 --> 00:39:11.300
 know what

00:39:11.300 --> 00:39:11.579
 the issue

00:39:11.579 --> 00:39:11.840
 was,

00:39:11.900 --> 00:39:12.059
 I actually

00:39:12.059 --> 00:39:12.300
 can't be

00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:12.519
 who it

00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:12.740
 was,

00:39:12.820 --> 00:39:13.440
 but there

00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:13.780
 was this

00:39:13.780 --> 00:39:14.760
 issue where,

00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:15.920
 I think it

00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:16.460
 was at work

00:39:16.460 --> 00:39:16.760
 where she

00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:17.099
 needed to

00:39:17.099 --> 00:39:17.659
 fire off an

00:39:17.659 --> 00:39:18.599
 email and

00:39:18.599 --> 00:39:19.019
 she actually

00:39:19.019 --> 00:39:19.559
 was so

00:39:19.559 --> 00:39:21.139
 passionate

00:39:21.139 --> 00:39:21.680
 about it,

00:39:21.960 --> 00:39:22.480
 she said,

00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:22.940
 I'm just

00:39:22.940 --> 00:39:23.139
 going to

00:39:23.139 --> 00:39:23.460
 send him

00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:23.880
 an email.

00:39:24.059 --> 00:39:24.220
 And I

00:39:24.220 --> 00:39:24.400
 said,

00:39:24.460 --> 00:39:24.840
 hang on a

00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:24.900
 bit,

00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:25.400
 maybe just

00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:27.539
 sleep on

00:39:27.539 --> 00:39:27.840
 it for a

00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:28.019
 bit.

00:39:29.539 --> 00:39:30.079
 Or maybe

00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:30.619
 just draft

00:39:30.619 --> 00:39:31.099
 something and

00:39:31.099 --> 00:39:31.559
 send it to

00:39:31.559 --> 00:39:32.760
 me and

00:39:32.760 --> 00:39:35.380
 then I'll

00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:35.680
 have a look

00:39:35.680 --> 00:39:36.200
 at it and

00:39:36.200 --> 00:39:37.240
 maybe send

00:39:37.240 --> 00:39:37.680
 it tomorrow.

00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:39.219
 And she

00:39:39.219 --> 00:39:39.460
 did.

00:39:40.059 --> 00:39:40.679
 I looked at

00:39:40.679 --> 00:39:40.819
 it,

00:39:40.980 --> 00:39:41.500
 I came up

00:39:41.500 --> 00:39:41.919
 with a few

00:39:41.919 --> 00:39:42.199
 edits,

00:39:42.339 --> 00:39:42.759
 sent it back

00:39:42.759 --> 00:39:43.639
 to her and

00:39:43.639 --> 00:39:44.139
 she said to

00:39:44.139 --> 00:39:44.399
 me,

00:39:44.699 --> 00:39:45.579
 I'm so glad

00:39:45.579 --> 00:39:46.739
 that you

00:39:46.739 --> 00:39:48.859
 said that to

00:39:48.859 --> 00:39:49.500
 me and

00:39:49.500 --> 00:39:50.799
 your edits

00:39:50.799 --> 00:39:52.239
 were just

00:39:52.239 --> 00:39:52.619
 the right

00:39:52.619 --> 00:39:54.000
 wording and

00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:54.980
 I sent it

00:39:54.980 --> 00:39:55.319
 off.

00:39:56.419 --> 00:39:56.679
 You see

00:39:56.679 --> 00:39:56.839
 what's

00:39:56.839 --> 00:39:57.039
 happened

00:39:57.039 --> 00:39:57.319
 there?

00:39:58.199 --> 00:39:58.359
 Nat

00:39:58.359 --> 00:39:58.579
 and I

00:39:58.579 --> 00:39:58.819
 swapped

00:39:58.819 --> 00:39:59.179
 roles.

00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:01.679
 That is,

00:40:01.699 --> 00:40:02.119
 she became

00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:02.799
 like me in

00:40:02.799 --> 00:40:03.179
 the first

00:40:03.179 --> 00:40:03.759
 instance and

00:40:03.759 --> 00:40:04.259
 I was like

00:40:04.259 --> 00:40:04.559
 her, she

00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:05.159
 taught me to

00:40:05.159 --> 00:40:05.679
 do that.

00:40:06.099 --> 00:40:06.460
 She taught

00:40:06.460 --> 00:40:06.899
 me to hang

00:40:06.899 --> 00:40:07.179
 on a bit,

00:40:07.179 --> 00:40:07.759
 sleep on

00:40:07.759 --> 00:40:07.919
 it.

00:40:08.219 --> 00:40:08.559
 I hope

00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:08.940
 I've given

00:40:08.940 --> 00:40:09.399
 her a little

00:40:09.399 --> 00:40:09.899
 bit more

00:40:09.899 --> 00:40:10.519
 than just

00:40:10.519 --> 00:40:11.000
 I'm going to

00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:11.480
 fire off an

00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:11.779
 email.

00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:14.599
 But hopefully

00:40:14.599 --> 00:40:15.480
 the decisiveness

00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:16.219
 at that point

00:40:16.219 --> 00:40:17.199
 or taking

00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:17.960
 initiative at

00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:18.299
 that point

00:40:18.299 --> 00:40:18.779
 might be a

00:40:18.779 --> 00:40:19.179
 helpful thing,

00:40:19.219 --> 00:40:19.559
 I don't know.

00:40:19.899 --> 00:40:21.059
 But it

00:40:21.059 --> 00:40:21.619
 goes both

00:40:21.619 --> 00:40:22.059
 ways.

00:40:22.859 --> 00:40:24.259
 Now let me

00:40:24.259 --> 00:40:24.599
 just say,

00:40:24.699 --> 00:40:25.099
 while the

00:40:25.099 --> 00:40:25.599
 practical

00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:26.419
 details are

00:40:26.419 --> 00:40:26.879
 missing in

00:40:26.879 --> 00:40:27.779
 Ephesians 5,

00:40:28.179 --> 00:40:29.179
 the principles

00:40:29.179 --> 00:40:30.199
 of how

00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:30.799
 authority and

00:40:30.799 --> 00:40:31.199
 submission

00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:33.579
 work out

00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:35.519
 are not

00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:36.000
 missing.

00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:37.000
 So I'm

00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:37.119
 going to

00:40:37.119 --> 00:40:37.380
 mention

00:40:37.380 --> 00:40:39.019
 four things

00:40:39.019 --> 00:40:39.699
 and I

00:40:39.699 --> 00:40:39.960
 want to

00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:40.260
 mention

00:40:40.260 --> 00:40:40.579
 them from

00:40:40.579 --> 00:40:42.360
 the negative

00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:43.460
 of what

00:40:43.460 --> 00:40:45.719
 submission and

00:40:45.719 --> 00:40:46.320
 headship and

00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:46.980
 authority are

00:40:46.980 --> 00:40:47.559
 not.

00:40:48.860 --> 00:40:49.639
 So first

00:40:49.639 --> 00:40:50.099
 of all,

00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:51.639
 the husband's

00:40:51.639 --> 00:40:52.199
 authority,

00:40:52.380 --> 00:40:52.880
 like the

00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:53.400
 authority of

00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:53.980
 Jesus over

00:40:53.980 --> 00:40:54.599
 his church,

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:55.739
 is never

00:40:55.739 --> 00:40:56.539
 used to

00:40:56.539 --> 00:40:57.739
 please himself

00:40:57.739 --> 00:40:59.219
 but only to

00:40:59.219 --> 00:40:59.800
 serve the

00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:00.579
 interests of

00:41:00.579 --> 00:41:02.019
 his wife.

00:41:02.019 --> 00:41:03.679
 That is,

00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:04.579
 a headship

00:41:04.579 --> 00:41:05.699
 does not

00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:06.340
 mean a

00:41:06.340 --> 00:41:07.139
 husband simply

00:41:07.139 --> 00:41:07.739
 makes all

00:41:07.739 --> 00:41:08.380
 the decisions

00:41:08.380 --> 00:41:10.719
 and it

00:41:10.719 --> 00:41:11.219
 certainly

00:41:11.219 --> 00:41:12.059
 doesn't mean

00:41:12.059 --> 00:41:13.239
 he gets

00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:13.659
 his own

00:41:13.659 --> 00:41:14.039
 way in

00:41:14.039 --> 00:41:14.259
 every

00:41:14.259 --> 00:41:14.920
 disagreement.

00:41:16.139 --> 00:41:16.820
 Why?

00:41:17.679 --> 00:41:18.340
 Because Jesus

00:41:18.340 --> 00:41:18.840
 never did

00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:19.340
 anything to

00:41:19.340 --> 00:41:20.039
 please himself.

00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:22.079
 A servant

00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:23.559
 leader must

00:41:23.559 --> 00:41:24.940
 sacrifice his

00:41:24.940 --> 00:41:25.519
 wants and

00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:26.239
 his needs

00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:28.940
 and particularly

00:41:28.940 --> 00:41:29.719
 blokes for

00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:30.280
 your own

00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:30.759
 personal

00:41:30.759 --> 00:41:31.400
 advancement,

00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:34.160
 in order to

00:41:34.160 --> 00:41:35.119
 build up and

00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:35.780
 to please

00:41:35.780 --> 00:41:36.700
 your spouse.

00:41:38.220 --> 00:41:38.840
 Secondly,

00:41:39.920 --> 00:41:40.740
 a wife in

00:41:40.740 --> 00:41:41.320
 her submission

00:41:41.320 --> 00:41:42.360
 is never

00:41:42.360 --> 00:41:43.340
 meant to be

00:41:43.340 --> 00:41:44.559
 merely compliant

00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:46.079
 but is to

00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:46.820
 use her

00:41:46.820 --> 00:41:48.500
 resources to

00:41:48.500 --> 00:41:49.280
 empower.

00:41:53.019 --> 00:41:53.920
 She is to

00:41:53.920 --> 00:41:54.880
 be her

00:41:54.880 --> 00:41:55.500
 husband's

00:41:55.500 --> 00:41:56.180
 most trusted

00:41:56.180 --> 00:41:56.700
 friend,

00:41:57.300 --> 00:41:58.000
 counsellor,

00:41:58.360 --> 00:41:59.480
 and corrector

00:41:59.480 --> 00:42:01.139
 as he

00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:01.699
 is hers.

00:42:02.780 --> 00:42:03.400
 To

00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:04.059
 complement

00:42:04.059 --> 00:42:05.139
 each other

00:42:05.139 --> 00:42:06.019
 means

00:42:06.019 --> 00:42:07.300
 husband and

00:42:07.300 --> 00:42:08.960
 wife need

00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:09.760
 to hear

00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:10.360
 each other

00:42:10.360 --> 00:42:10.840
 out,

00:42:11.039 --> 00:42:11.619
 they need

00:42:11.619 --> 00:42:12.659
 to make

00:42:12.659 --> 00:42:13.019
 their

00:42:13.019 --> 00:42:14.019
 arguments,

00:42:14.740 --> 00:42:15.920
 and they

00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:16.360
 need to

00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:17.039
 discern a

00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:17.760
 way forward.

00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:20.440
 Now,

00:42:20.520 --> 00:42:20.820
 that's

00:42:20.820 --> 00:42:21.300
 hard.

00:42:23.100 --> 00:42:23.740
 It's

00:42:23.740 --> 00:42:24.440
 hard work

00:42:24.440 --> 00:42:24.860
 and it

00:42:24.860 --> 00:42:25.340
 involves

00:42:25.340 --> 00:42:25.900
 loving

00:42:25.900 --> 00:42:27.720
 disagreement

00:42:27.720 --> 00:42:29.140
 with

00:42:29.140 --> 00:42:29.680
 affection

00:42:29.680 --> 00:42:31.260
 until you

00:42:31.260 --> 00:42:31.720
 sharpen,

00:42:31.960 --> 00:42:32.440
 enrich,

00:42:32.900 --> 00:42:33.860
 and enhance

00:42:33.860 --> 00:42:34.560
 each other

00:42:34.560 --> 00:42:35.920
 on multiple

00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:36.760
 occasions

00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:38.260
 in our

00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:39.020
 life together.

00:42:40.020 --> 00:42:41.240
 The course

00:42:41.240 --> 00:42:42.360
 of action

00:42:42.360 --> 00:42:43.760
 that we

00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:44.320
 have gone

00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:44.820
 as a

00:42:44.820 --> 00:42:45.220
 couple

00:42:45.219 --> 00:42:46.239
 and that

00:42:46.239 --> 00:42:46.559
 I've

00:42:46.559 --> 00:42:46.959
 made the

00:42:46.959 --> 00:42:47.599
 call on

00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:48.000
 to go

00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:48.459
 on.

00:42:48.939 --> 00:42:49.179
 Nat

00:42:49.179 --> 00:42:49.500
 has

00:42:49.500 --> 00:42:50.419
 sharpened

00:42:50.419 --> 00:42:50.579
 that

00:42:50.579 --> 00:42:51.139
 decision,

00:42:52.399 --> 00:42:52.980
 hasn't

00:42:52.980 --> 00:42:53.939
 ultimately

00:42:53.939 --> 00:42:54.639
 changed the

00:42:54.639 --> 00:42:55.159
 direction,

00:42:55.679 --> 00:42:56.379
 but brought

00:42:56.379 --> 00:42:57.019
 so much

00:42:57.019 --> 00:42:58.019
 nuance and

00:42:58.019 --> 00:42:58.739
 sharpened

00:42:58.739 --> 00:42:59.559
 it in

00:42:59.559 --> 00:43:00.159
 such a

00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:01.480
 way that

00:43:01.480 --> 00:43:02.379
 the

00:43:02.379 --> 00:43:03.279
 actual,

00:43:03.779 --> 00:43:04.500
 if you

00:43:04.500 --> 00:43:04.819
 like,

00:43:05.399 --> 00:43:06.619
 execution of

00:43:06.619 --> 00:43:07.139
 the decision

00:43:07.139 --> 00:43:07.799
 has been

00:43:07.799 --> 00:43:08.419
 entirely

00:43:08.419 --> 00:43:09.059
 hers,

00:43:09.779 --> 00:43:10.399
 her making,

00:43:11.699 --> 00:43:12.159
 even if

00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:12.779
 the decision,

00:43:12.939 --> 00:43:13.359
 the direction

00:43:13.359 --> 00:43:13.980
 was mine.

00:43:15.219 --> 00:43:17.219
 You see,

00:43:17.299 --> 00:43:17.659
 the wife

00:43:17.659 --> 00:43:18.239
 must bring

00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:19.099
 every gift

00:43:19.099 --> 00:43:20.039
 and resource

00:43:20.039 --> 00:43:20.500
 that she

00:43:20.500 --> 00:43:21.719
 has to

00:43:21.719 --> 00:43:22.419
 the discussion

00:43:22.419 --> 00:43:23.279
 and the

00:43:23.279 --> 00:43:24.000
 husband must,

00:43:24.099 --> 00:43:24.719
 as any

00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:25.219
 wise leader

00:43:25.219 --> 00:43:25.699
 should,

00:43:26.099 --> 00:43:26.959
 know when

00:43:26.959 --> 00:43:27.399
 to allow

00:43:27.399 --> 00:43:28.419
 his wife's

00:43:28.419 --> 00:43:29.099
 expertise

00:43:29.099 --> 00:43:30.299
 to trump

00:43:30.299 --> 00:43:31.059
 his own

00:43:31.059 --> 00:43:33.719
 and his

00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:34.279
 own less

00:43:34.279 --> 00:43:35.139
 well-informed

00:43:35.139 --> 00:43:35.939
 opinion.

00:43:37.439 --> 00:43:38.059
 That is,

00:43:38.159 --> 00:43:38.639
 a servant

00:43:38.639 --> 00:43:39.739
 leader means,

00:43:40.519 --> 00:43:41.119
 and any

00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:41.719
 secular book

00:43:41.719 --> 00:43:42.039
 on this

00:43:42.039 --> 00:43:42.519
 will tell

00:43:42.519 --> 00:43:42.839
 you,

00:43:43.439 --> 00:43:44.039
 means to be

00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:44.480
 a servant

00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:44.900
 leader,

00:43:45.219 --> 00:43:45.739
 you cannot

00:43:45.739 --> 00:43:46.300
 always be

00:43:46.300 --> 00:43:46.800
 the smartest

00:43:46.800 --> 00:43:47.199
 man in

00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:47.579
 the room.

00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:49.699
 In fact,

00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:49.960
 you ought

00:43:49.960 --> 00:43:50.440
 not be.

00:43:53.039 --> 00:43:53.679
 Number three,

00:43:53.920 --> 00:43:54.559
 Ephesians 5

00:43:54.559 --> 00:43:55.019
 does not

00:43:55.019 --> 00:43:55.380
 mean a

00:43:55.380 --> 00:43:55.980
 wife is

00:43:55.980 --> 00:43:56.360
 not to

00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:56.679
 give a

00:43:56.679 --> 00:43:57.039
 husband

00:43:57.039 --> 00:43:57.739
 unconditional

00:43:57.739 --> 00:43:58.340
 obedience

00:43:58.340 --> 00:43:58.719
 when it

00:43:58.719 --> 00:43:59.699
 says the

00:43:59.699 --> 00:44:00.059
 words,

00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:00.420
 in

00:44:00.420 --> 00:44:01.219
 everything.

00:44:02.179 --> 00:44:02.480
 No

00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:03.259
 human being

00:44:03.259 --> 00:44:03.739
 should give

00:44:03.739 --> 00:44:04.460
 any other

00:44:04.460 --> 00:44:05.119
 human being

00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:05.800
 unconditional

00:44:05.800 --> 00:44:06.420
 obedience.

00:44:06.539 --> 00:44:06.940
 As Peter

00:44:06.940 --> 00:44:07.420
 says,

00:44:07.880 --> 00:44:08.460
 we must

00:44:08.460 --> 00:44:09.719
 obey God

00:44:09.719 --> 00:44:10.639
 rather than

00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:11.179
 man.

00:44:11.179 --> 00:44:13.179
 a wife,

00:44:14.539 --> 00:44:15.000
 let me be

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:16.039
 clear on

00:44:16.039 --> 00:44:16.419
 this,

00:44:16.859 --> 00:44:17.460
 a wife

00:44:17.460 --> 00:44:18.799
 should not

00:44:18.799 --> 00:44:21.000
 obey or

00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:22.159
 aid a

00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:22.980
 husband in

00:44:22.980 --> 00:44:23.799
 doing things

00:44:23.799 --> 00:44:24.299
 that God

00:44:24.299 --> 00:44:24.940
 forbids,

00:44:25.500 --> 00:44:26.039
 such as

00:44:26.039 --> 00:44:26.619
 breaking the

00:44:26.619 --> 00:44:27.000
 law,

00:44:27.519 --> 00:44:29.319
 or obey

00:44:29.319 --> 00:44:30.179
 him in

00:44:30.179 --> 00:44:30.679
 abusing

00:44:30.679 --> 00:44:31.319
 her in

00:44:31.319 --> 00:44:31.940
 any way,

00:44:32.079 --> 00:44:32.279
 what's

00:44:32.279 --> 00:44:32.559
 safe,

00:44:32.739 --> 00:44:33.239
 or any

00:44:33.239 --> 00:44:33.519
 form

00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:33.980
 whatsoever.

00:44:34.980 --> 00:44:35.480
 For

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:35.960
 example,

00:44:36.699 --> 00:44:37.359
 if a

00:44:37.359 --> 00:44:37.779
 husband

00:44:37.779 --> 00:44:38.599
 physically

00:44:38.599 --> 00:44:39.259
 abuses

00:44:39.260 --> 00:44:40.260
 his wife,

00:44:41.060 --> 00:44:42.360
 the strong

00:44:42.360 --> 00:44:43.780
 help that

00:44:43.780 --> 00:44:45.120
 you become

00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:45.600
 in that

00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:46.040
 moment,

00:44:46.560 --> 00:44:47.100
 that you

00:44:47.100 --> 00:44:47.900
 should exercise

00:44:47.900 --> 00:44:48.660
 as a

00:44:48.660 --> 00:44:49.120
 wife,

00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:50.380
 is to

00:44:50.380 --> 00:44:51.160
 love and

00:44:51.160 --> 00:44:51.820
 forgive your

00:44:51.820 --> 00:44:52.560
 husband in

00:44:52.560 --> 00:44:53.360
 your heart,

00:44:53.980 --> 00:44:54.880
 but you

00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:55.360
 should also

00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:55.880
 call the

00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:56.320
 police and

00:44:56.320 --> 00:44:56.620
 have him

00:44:56.620 --> 00:44:57.020
 arrested.

00:44:58.940 --> 00:44:59.540
 You

00:44:59.540 --> 00:44:59.860
 should do

00:44:59.860 --> 00:45:00.240
 both.

00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:04.100
 Absolutely

00:45:04.100 --> 00:45:04.920
 do both.

00:45:09.260 --> 00:45:10.080
 It is

00:45:10.080 --> 00:45:10.900
 never kind,

00:45:11.100 --> 00:45:11.440
 it is

00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:12.120
 never loving

00:45:12.120 --> 00:45:12.960
 to anyone

00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:14.440
 to make

00:45:14.440 --> 00:45:15.920
 any form

00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:16.820
 of excuse

00:45:16.820 --> 00:45:18.760
 for wrong

00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:19.380
 behaviour.

00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:21.280
 And there

00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:21.620
 is no

00:45:21.620 --> 00:45:22.040
 sense in

00:45:22.040 --> 00:45:22.900
 Ephesians 5

00:45:22.900 --> 00:45:23.260
 that the

00:45:23.260 --> 00:45:23.860
 husband can

00:45:23.860 --> 00:45:24.320
 in any

00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:24.540
 way,

00:45:24.680 --> 00:45:24.920
 shape,

00:45:25.060 --> 00:45:25.620
 form,

00:45:25.740 --> 00:45:26.380
 order his

00:45:26.380 --> 00:45:27.220
 wife around

00:45:27.220 --> 00:45:28.260
 in daily

00:45:28.260 --> 00:45:28.740
 life.

00:45:29.160 --> 00:45:29.820
 Nothing in

00:45:29.820 --> 00:45:30.440
 Ephesians 5

00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:30.780
 would lead

00:45:30.780 --> 00:45:31.000
 you to

00:45:31.000 --> 00:45:31.320
 conclude

00:45:31.320 --> 00:45:31.600
 that.

00:45:33.040 --> 00:45:33.520
 He has

00:45:33.520 --> 00:45:34.240
 no right

00:45:34.240 --> 00:45:35.680
 to order

00:45:35.680 --> 00:45:36.140
 her to

00:45:36.140 --> 00:45:36.520
 wash the

00:45:36.520 --> 00:45:36.900
 dishes.

00:45:36.900 --> 00:45:39.639
 no right

00:45:39.639 --> 00:45:40.039
 to order

00:45:40.039 --> 00:45:40.300
 her to

00:45:40.300 --> 00:45:40.559
 go to

00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:40.920
 work.

00:45:41.780 --> 00:45:42.420
 No right

00:45:42.420 --> 00:45:42.780
 to order

00:45:42.780 --> 00:45:43.039
 her to

00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:43.300
 stop

00:45:43.300 --> 00:45:43.820
 going to

00:45:43.820 --> 00:45:44.119
 work.

00:45:44.980 --> 00:45:45.539
 No right

00:45:45.539 --> 00:45:45.920
 to order

00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:46.320
 her not

00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:46.760
 to go to

00:45:46.760 --> 00:45:47.280
 church or

00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:47.840
 to a

00:45:47.840 --> 00:45:48.380
 community

00:45:48.380 --> 00:45:48.760
 group.

00:45:49.760 --> 00:45:50.460
 He has

00:45:50.460 --> 00:45:51.240
 no right

00:45:51.240 --> 00:45:52.079
 to order

00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:53.220
 her to

00:45:53.220 --> 00:45:53.840
 have sex.

00:45:55.139 --> 00:45:55.780
 No right

00:45:55.780 --> 00:45:56.079
 to order

00:45:56.079 --> 00:45:56.300
 her to

00:45:56.300 --> 00:45:56.440
 have

00:45:56.440 --> 00:45:56.940
 anything

00:45:56.940 --> 00:45:57.760
 at all,

00:45:57.840 --> 00:45:58.200
 do anything

00:45:58.200 --> 00:45:58.619
 at all.

00:45:59.960 --> 00:46:00.440
 That's

00:46:00.440 --> 00:46:01.119
 not what

00:46:01.119 --> 00:46:01.519
 headship

00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:01.960
 is.

00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:05.280
 Number

00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:05.579
 four,

00:46:06.900 --> 00:46:08.160
 husbands

00:46:08.160 --> 00:46:08.700
 assuming

00:46:08.700 --> 00:46:09.119
 the role

00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:09.300
 of

00:46:09.300 --> 00:46:09.780
 headship

00:46:09.780 --> 00:46:10.480
 is only

00:46:10.480 --> 00:46:10.780
 done

00:46:10.780 --> 00:46:10.960
 for

00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:11.400
 purposes

00:46:11.400 --> 00:46:11.700
 for

00:46:11.700 --> 00:46:12.079
 serving

00:46:12.079 --> 00:46:12.460
 your

00:46:12.460 --> 00:46:12.820
 wife

00:46:12.820 --> 00:46:13.059
 and

00:46:13.059 --> 00:46:13.440
 family.

00:46:13.680 --> 00:46:13.980
 Can we

00:46:13.980 --> 00:46:14.420
 understand

00:46:14.420 --> 00:46:14.780
 what

00:46:14.780 --> 00:46:15.079
 headship

00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:15.660
 is now?

00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:16.500
 Can we

00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:16.740
 understand

00:46:16.740 --> 00:46:17.180
 what the

00:46:17.180 --> 00:46:17.579
 authority

00:46:17.579 --> 00:46:18.200
 is?

00:46:18.820 --> 00:46:19.079
 It's

00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:19.559
 only for

00:46:19.559 --> 00:46:19.880
 the purpose

00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:20.559
 of serving.

00:46:21.019 --> 00:46:21.260
 It's

00:46:21.260 --> 00:46:21.599
 not for

00:46:21.599 --> 00:46:22.059
 dominating

00:46:22.059 --> 00:46:22.480
 in any

00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:22.619
 way

00:46:22.619 --> 00:46:23.079
 whatsoever.

00:46:24.139 --> 00:46:24.480
 Headship

00:46:24.480 --> 00:46:25.039
 means the

00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:25.460
 husband

00:46:25.460 --> 00:46:26.579
 can only

00:46:26.579 --> 00:46:27.820
 overrule

00:46:27.820 --> 00:46:28.860
 if he

00:46:28.860 --> 00:46:30.880
 spouse,

00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:31.800
 sorry,

00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:32.320
 overrule

00:46:32.320 --> 00:46:32.780
 his spouse

00:46:32.780 --> 00:46:33.340
 if he

00:46:33.340 --> 00:46:33.900
 is sure

00:46:33.900 --> 00:46:35.619
 that her

00:46:35.619 --> 00:46:36.220
 choice

00:46:36.220 --> 00:46:37.760
 would be

00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:38.320
 destructive

00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:39.000
 to her

00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:39.420
 or to

00:46:39.420 --> 00:46:39.599
 the

00:46:39.599 --> 00:46:39.980
 family.

00:46:41.780 --> 00:46:42.639
 And I

00:46:42.639 --> 00:46:43.300
 would say

00:46:43.300 --> 00:46:43.780
 in the

00:46:43.780 --> 00:46:44.380
 moment of

00:46:44.380 --> 00:46:45.500
 overruling

00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:46.260
 you would

00:46:46.260 --> 00:46:47.160
 do so

00:46:47.160 --> 00:46:48.019
 with the

00:46:48.019 --> 00:46:48.680
 counsel of

00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:49.079
 others

00:46:49.079 --> 00:46:50.500
 before you

00:46:50.500 --> 00:46:51.059
 overrule.

00:46:53.320 --> 00:46:53.860
 That is

00:46:53.860 --> 00:46:55.360
 headship

00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:56.820
 is never

00:46:56.820 --> 00:46:57.360
 to be used

00:46:57.360 --> 00:46:58.119
 selfishly

00:46:58.119 --> 00:46:59.180
 to get your

00:46:59.180 --> 00:46:59.800
 own way

00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:00.400
 about the

00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:00.760
 colour of

00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:01.220
 the car

00:47:01.220 --> 00:47:01.579
 that you're

00:47:01.579 --> 00:47:01.740
 going to

00:47:01.740 --> 00:47:02.099
 buy.

00:47:02.099 --> 00:47:03.199
 who gets

00:47:03.199 --> 00:47:03.579
 to hold

00:47:03.579 --> 00:47:03.739
 the

00:47:03.739 --> 00:47:04.199
 remote

00:47:04.199 --> 00:47:06.779
 for TV.

00:47:08.019 --> 00:47:08.019


00:47:08.019 --> 00:47:08.299
 whether

00:47:08.299 --> 00:47:09.360
 you know

00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:10.119
 headship

00:47:10.119 --> 00:47:10.440
 doesn't

00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:10.920
 mean you

00:47:10.920 --> 00:47:11.319
 get to

00:47:11.319 --> 00:47:11.619
 choose

00:47:11.619 --> 00:47:11.860
 whether you

00:47:11.860 --> 00:47:12.139
 have the

00:47:12.139 --> 00:47:12.699
 night out

00:47:12.699 --> 00:47:13.239
 with the

00:47:13.239 --> 00:47:13.819
 boys or

00:47:13.819 --> 00:47:14.199
 whether you

00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:14.619
 should stay

00:47:14.619 --> 00:47:15.839
 home and

00:47:15.839 --> 00:47:16.639
 help the

00:47:16.639 --> 00:47:18.019
 wife with

00:47:18.019 --> 00:47:18.440
 the kids

00:47:18.440 --> 00:47:19.460
 and the

00:47:19.460 --> 00:47:20.039
 washing and

00:47:20.039 --> 00:47:20.599
 the kids

00:47:20.599 --> 00:47:21.019
 and whatever

00:47:21.019 --> 00:47:21.739
 else.

00:47:23.219 --> 00:47:23.819
 Headship

00:47:23.819 --> 00:47:24.319
 is an

00:47:24.319 --> 00:47:25.139
 important and

00:47:25.139 --> 00:47:25.759
 a practical

00:47:25.759 --> 00:47:26.500
 principle.

00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:28.980
 It is a

00:47:28.980 --> 00:47:30.099
 very practical

00:47:30.099 --> 00:47:30.639
 principle.

00:47:30.639 --> 00:47:30.759
 principle.

00:47:31.460 --> 00:47:32.139
 It is not

00:47:32.139 --> 00:47:32.659
 about

00:47:32.659 --> 00:47:33.379
 superiority

00:47:33.379 --> 00:47:34.079
 at all.

00:47:34.159 --> 00:47:34.299
 It is

00:47:34.299 --> 00:47:34.679
 just a

00:47:34.679 --> 00:47:35.019
 very

00:47:35.019 --> 00:47:35.559
 practical

00:47:35.559 --> 00:47:36.119
 principle

00:47:36.119 --> 00:47:38.259
 because

00:47:38.259 --> 00:47:40.039
 with the

00:47:40.039 --> 00:47:40.659
 equality

00:47:40.659 --> 00:47:41.879
 of husband

00:47:41.879 --> 00:47:42.679
 and wife

00:47:42.679 --> 00:47:43.420
 there is

00:47:43.420 --> 00:47:44.119
 only two

00:47:44.119 --> 00:47:44.679
 votes in

00:47:44.679 --> 00:47:45.179
 marriage.

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:50.819
 So how

00:47:50.819 --> 00:47:51.119
 does a

00:47:51.119 --> 00:47:51.539
 stalemate

00:47:51.539 --> 00:47:52.219
 get broken?

00:47:53.420 --> 00:47:54.219
 With two

00:47:54.219 --> 00:47:54.639
 votes.

00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:59.339
 and two

00:47:59.339 --> 00:47:59.879
 votes

00:47:59.879 --> 00:48:00.859
 without

00:48:00.859 --> 00:48:01.519
 someone

00:48:01.519 --> 00:48:02.019
 having to

00:48:02.019 --> 00:48:02.579
 give way

00:48:02.579 --> 00:48:04.279
 and make

00:48:04.279 --> 00:48:04.879
 their vote

00:48:04.879 --> 00:48:05.940
 null and

00:48:05.940 --> 00:48:06.259
 void.

00:48:07.940 --> 00:48:08.299
 You see

00:48:08.299 --> 00:48:08.900
 in a

00:48:08.900 --> 00:48:09.539
 healthy

00:48:09.539 --> 00:48:10.279
 marriage

00:48:10.279 --> 00:48:11.440
 this

00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:12.779
 stalemate

00:48:12.779 --> 00:48:13.460
 scenario

00:48:13.460 --> 00:48:14.519
 are broken

00:48:14.519 --> 00:48:17.139
 because

00:48:17.139 --> 00:48:17.940
 each will

00:48:17.940 --> 00:48:18.400
 try to

00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:18.799
 give the

00:48:18.799 --> 00:48:19.420
 other his

00:48:19.420 --> 00:48:19.779
 or her

00:48:19.779 --> 00:48:20.179
 pleasure.

00:48:20.179 --> 00:48:23.179
 that's

00:48:23.179 --> 00:48:23.599
 how it's

00:48:23.599 --> 00:48:24.339
 broken in

00:48:24.339 --> 00:48:24.799
 a healthy

00:48:24.799 --> 00:48:25.159
 marriage.

00:48:27.619 --> 00:48:28.159
 And in

00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:28.539
 that sense

00:48:28.539 --> 00:48:28.879
 what it

00:48:28.879 --> 00:48:29.719
 means is

00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:31.019
 that what

00:48:31.019 --> 00:48:31.739
 you discover

00:48:31.739 --> 00:48:33.319
 is that

00:48:33.319 --> 00:48:33.980
 the more

00:48:33.980 --> 00:48:34.599
 that you

00:48:34.599 --> 00:48:35.879
 follow this

00:48:35.879 --> 00:48:36.440
 pattern

00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:39.219
 the whole

00:48:39.219 --> 00:48:39.739
 idea of

00:48:39.739 --> 00:48:40.019
 headship

00:48:40.019 --> 00:48:40.659
 becomes very

00:48:40.659 --> 00:48:41.480
 rare indeed.

00:48:41.480 --> 00:48:43.980
 in fact

00:48:43.980 --> 00:48:44.539
 I would

00:48:44.539 --> 00:48:45.699
 say that

00:48:45.699 --> 00:48:46.420
 in the

00:48:46.420 --> 00:48:48.280
 27 and

00:48:48.280 --> 00:48:48.559
 a half

00:48:48.559 --> 00:48:49.199
 years I've

00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:49.639
 been married

00:48:49.639 --> 00:48:52.079
 this idea

00:48:52.079 --> 00:48:53.099
 of the

00:48:53.099 --> 00:48:53.960
 exercise of

00:48:53.960 --> 00:48:54.760
 my headship

00:48:54.760 --> 00:48:55.380
 in our

00:48:55.380 --> 00:48:55.960
 marriage

00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:57.579
 has happened

00:48:57.579 --> 00:48:59.360
 you could

00:48:59.360 --> 00:48:59.920
 count them

00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:01.099
 you could

00:49:01.099 --> 00:49:01.340
 count them

00:49:01.340 --> 00:49:01.639
 on two

00:49:01.639 --> 00:49:01.940
 hands

00:49:01.940 --> 00:49:02.340
 maybe

00:49:02.340 --> 00:49:03.940
 most likely

00:49:03.940 --> 00:49:04.519
 one hand

00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:05.219
 I've had to

00:49:05.219 --> 00:49:05.539
 exercise

00:49:05.539 --> 00:49:06.019
 headship.

00:49:07.059 --> 00:49:07.980
 That's all.

00:49:09.039 --> 00:49:09.860
 It's not

00:49:09.860 --> 00:49:10.219
 happening

00:49:10.219 --> 00:49:10.679
 Monday

00:49:10.679 --> 00:49:12.059
 to Sunday.

00:49:12.980 --> 00:49:13.819
 It's a

00:49:13.819 --> 00:49:14.519
 very rare

00:49:14.519 --> 00:49:15.039
 occasion.

00:49:16.199 --> 00:49:16.739
 And it's

00:49:16.739 --> 00:49:17.339
 an occasion

00:49:17.339 --> 00:49:18.099
 when Nat

00:49:18.099 --> 00:49:18.359
 and I

00:49:18.359 --> 00:49:19.179
 can't agree

00:49:19.179 --> 00:49:20.219
 but a

00:49:20.219 --> 00:49:20.699
 decision

00:49:20.699 --> 00:49:21.239
 must be

00:49:21.239 --> 00:49:21.759
 made.

00:49:24.659 --> 00:49:25.859
 And in

00:49:25.859 --> 00:49:26.460
 one such

00:49:26.460 --> 00:49:26.960
 case because

00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:27.239
 there are

00:49:27.239 --> 00:49:27.899
 some times

00:49:27.899 --> 00:49:29.019
 where you

00:49:29.019 --> 00:49:29.899
 can't agree

00:49:29.899 --> 00:49:30.619
 and you

00:49:30.619 --> 00:49:31.199
 can't not

00:49:31.199 --> 00:49:31.579
 make a

00:49:31.579 --> 00:49:31.960
 decision.

00:49:33.759 --> 00:49:34.359
 You know

00:49:34.359 --> 00:49:34.679
 like

00:49:34.679 --> 00:49:36.759
 husband and

00:49:36.759 --> 00:49:37.480
 wife are

00:49:37.480 --> 00:49:37.960
 at star

00:49:37.960 --> 00:49:38.179
 might

00:49:38.179 --> 00:49:39.019
 loggerheads

00:49:39.019 --> 00:49:39.860
 as to

00:49:39.860 --> 00:49:39.980
 the

00:49:39.980 --> 00:49:40.440
 education

00:49:40.440 --> 00:49:40.559
 of

00:49:40.559 --> 00:49:40.679
 their

00:49:40.679 --> 00:49:41.019
 children.

00:49:41.820 --> 00:49:42.000
 You

00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:42.320
 can't

00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:42.699
 not

00:49:42.699 --> 00:49:42.960
 make

00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:43.059
 a

00:49:43.059 --> 00:49:43.400
 decision.

00:49:44.360 --> 00:49:44.579
 At

00:49:44.579 --> 00:49:44.840
 some

00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:45.079
 point

00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:45.300
 you're

00:49:45.300 --> 00:49:45.400
 going to

00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:45.619
 get a

00:49:45.619 --> 00:49:45.820
 phone

00:49:45.820 --> 00:49:46.099
 call or

00:49:46.099 --> 00:49:46.259
 letter

00:49:46.259 --> 00:49:46.539
 from the

00:49:46.539 --> 00:49:46.820
 government.

00:49:46.960 --> 00:49:47.219
 Why are

00:49:47.219 --> 00:49:47.539
 your kids

00:49:47.539 --> 00:49:48.159
 not enrolled?

00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:48.900
 They're 17.

00:49:49.039 --> 00:49:49.320
 They haven't

00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:49.559
 been to

00:49:49.559 --> 00:49:49.860
 school.

00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:51.920
 You've

00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:52.199
 got to

00:49:52.199 --> 00:49:52.500
 make a

00:49:52.500 --> 00:49:52.840
 decision.

00:49:52.840 --> 00:49:59.019
 in one

00:49:59.019 --> 00:49:59.800
 such case

00:49:59.800 --> 00:50:01.039
 of that

00:50:01.039 --> 00:50:01.900
 stalemate

00:50:01.900 --> 00:50:05.039
 it resulted

00:50:05.039 --> 00:50:07.000
 in me

00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:07.640
 making a

00:50:07.640 --> 00:50:08.240
 decision

00:50:08.240 --> 00:50:11.500
 and it

00:50:11.500 --> 00:50:11.800
 was a

00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:12.320
 decision

00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:13.500
 that ultimately

00:50:13.500 --> 00:50:14.079
 was to

00:50:14.079 --> 00:50:15.680
 trust in

00:50:15.680 --> 00:50:16.660
 Nat's

00:50:16.660 --> 00:50:17.300
 superior

00:50:17.300 --> 00:50:17.960
 knowledge and

00:50:17.960 --> 00:50:18.780
 experience.

00:50:20.680 --> 00:50:21.519
 The stalemate

00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:22.280
 was broken

00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:23.840
 when I

00:50:23.840 --> 00:50:24.119
 went

00:50:24.119 --> 00:50:24.940
 actually

00:50:24.940 --> 00:50:25.340
 Nat's

00:50:25.340 --> 00:50:25.639
 got the

00:50:25.639 --> 00:50:25.880
 best

00:50:25.880 --> 00:50:26.340
 idea.

00:50:31.380 --> 00:50:31.860
 Now

00:50:31.860 --> 00:50:32.699
 you might

00:50:32.699 --> 00:50:32.920
 say

00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:33.159
 well hang

00:50:33.159 --> 00:50:33.380
 on a

00:50:33.380 --> 00:50:33.519
 bit

00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:33.820
 isn't

00:50:33.820 --> 00:50:33.980
 that

00:50:33.980 --> 00:50:34.159
 just

00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:34.400
 another

00:50:34.400 --> 00:50:34.719
 way of

00:50:34.719 --> 00:50:35.000
 saying

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:35.320
 that the

00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:35.639
 stalemate

00:50:35.639 --> 00:50:35.820
 was

00:50:35.820 --> 00:50:36.000
 ended

00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:36.440
 because

00:50:36.440 --> 00:50:37.199
 Nat

00:50:37.199 --> 00:50:37.559
 made the

00:50:37.559 --> 00:50:37.880
 decision?

00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:38.360
 Not at

00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:38.659
 all.

00:50:40.159 --> 00:50:40.739
 Not at

00:50:40.739 --> 00:50:40.920
 all.

00:50:41.119 --> 00:50:41.579
 I made

00:50:41.579 --> 00:50:41.719
 the

00:50:41.719 --> 00:50:42.139
 decision

00:50:42.139 --> 00:50:45.119
 because

00:50:45.119 --> 00:50:45.559
 course

00:50:45.559 --> 00:50:48.480
 I did

00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:48.759
 not

00:50:48.759 --> 00:50:49.480
 change

00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:49.859
 my

00:50:49.859 --> 00:50:50.299
 view.

00:50:51.400 --> 00:50:52.019
 I

00:50:52.019 --> 00:50:52.380
 still

00:50:52.380 --> 00:50:52.839
 held

00:50:52.839 --> 00:50:53.159
 my

00:50:53.159 --> 00:50:53.539
 view

00:50:53.539 --> 00:50:55.179
 but I

00:50:55.179 --> 00:50:55.679
 said

00:50:55.679 --> 00:50:56.119
 for the

00:50:56.119 --> 00:50:56.460
 sake

00:50:56.460 --> 00:50:57.079
 of Nat

00:50:57.079 --> 00:50:57.739
 and in

00:50:57.739 --> 00:50:58.299
 fact our

00:50:58.299 --> 00:50:58.839
 kids at

00:50:58.839 --> 00:50:59.460
 this point

00:50:59.460 --> 00:51:00.799
 her view

00:51:00.799 --> 00:51:01.460
 is the

00:51:01.460 --> 00:51:02.179
 best way

00:51:02.179 --> 00:51:02.699
 forward.

00:51:03.539 --> 00:51:04.019
 It's the

00:51:04.019 --> 00:51:04.359
 best

00:51:04.359 --> 00:51:05.239
 exercise

00:51:05.239 --> 00:51:06.000
 of servant

00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:06.679
 leadership.

00:51:06.679 --> 00:51:12.299
 And

00:51:12.299 --> 00:51:12.480
 we

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:13.079
 endorse

00:51:13.079 --> 00:51:13.539
 her

00:51:13.539 --> 00:51:14.019
 view

00:51:14.019 --> 00:51:14.940
 deciding

00:51:14.940 --> 00:51:15.379
 in her

00:51:15.379 --> 00:51:15.839
 way

00:51:15.839 --> 00:51:16.539
 I

00:51:16.539 --> 00:51:16.879
 took

00:51:16.879 --> 00:51:17.319
 full

00:51:17.319 --> 00:51:18.059
 responsibility

00:51:18.059 --> 00:51:19.119
 for that

00:51:19.119 --> 00:51:19.599
 decision

00:51:19.599 --> 00:51:20.719
 from that

00:51:20.719 --> 00:51:21.259
 moment.

00:51:22.579 --> 00:51:22.679
 And

00:51:22.679 --> 00:51:23.159
 at no

00:51:23.159 --> 00:51:23.599
 point

00:51:23.599 --> 00:51:25.219
 have I

00:51:25.219 --> 00:51:25.500
 ever

00:51:25.500 --> 00:51:26.059
 gone back

00:51:26.059 --> 00:51:26.440
 and said

00:51:26.440 --> 00:51:26.859
 told you

00:51:26.859 --> 00:51:27.059
 so.

00:51:28.879 --> 00:51:29.460
 Told

00:51:29.460 --> 00:51:29.619
 you

00:51:29.619 --> 00:51:29.779
 so.

00:51:33.739 --> 00:51:34.339
 The

00:51:34.339 --> 00:51:34.639
 husband

00:51:34.639 --> 00:51:35.139
 is to

00:51:35.139 --> 00:51:35.440
 weigh

00:51:35.440 --> 00:51:35.699
 the

00:51:35.699 --> 00:51:36.099
 wife's

00:51:36.099 --> 00:51:36.579
 argument

00:51:36.579 --> 00:51:36.960
 in the

00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:37.639
 stalemate

00:51:37.639 --> 00:51:38.500
 with

00:51:38.500 --> 00:51:38.860
 her.

00:51:40.539 --> 00:51:40.920
 Get

00:51:40.920 --> 00:51:41.119
 his

00:51:41.119 --> 00:51:41.659
 wife to

00:51:41.659 --> 00:51:41.980
 help

00:51:41.980 --> 00:51:42.119
 him

00:51:42.119 --> 00:51:42.679
 consider

00:51:42.679 --> 00:51:43.279
 and

00:51:43.279 --> 00:51:43.860
 primarily

00:51:43.860 --> 00:51:44.539
 blokes

00:51:44.539 --> 00:51:46.719
 you

00:51:46.719 --> 00:51:47.360
 need

00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:47.819
 your

00:51:47.819 --> 00:51:49.319
 spouse

00:51:49.319 --> 00:51:50.079
 to help

00:51:50.079 --> 00:51:50.219
 you.

00:51:50.299 --> 00:51:50.400
 You

00:51:50.400 --> 00:51:50.599
 need

00:51:50.599 --> 00:51:50.819
 your

00:51:50.819 --> 00:51:51.139
 wife

00:51:51.139 --> 00:51:51.340
 to

00:51:51.340 --> 00:51:51.559
 help

00:51:51.559 --> 00:51:51.699
 you

00:51:51.699 --> 00:51:52.199
 consider

00:51:52.199 --> 00:51:52.900
 your

00:51:52.900 --> 00:51:53.519
 motives

00:51:53.519 --> 00:51:53.759
 not

00:51:53.759 --> 00:51:53.960
 the

00:51:53.960 --> 00:51:54.259
 logic

00:51:54.259 --> 00:51:54.460
 of

00:51:54.460 --> 00:51:54.639
 your

00:51:54.639 --> 00:51:55.299
 arguments

00:51:55.299 --> 00:51:56.840
 because

00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:57.139
 the

00:51:57.139 --> 00:51:57.480
 motive

00:51:57.480 --> 00:51:57.759
 that's

00:51:57.759 --> 00:51:58.000
 deep

00:51:58.000 --> 00:51:58.380
 inside

00:51:58.380 --> 00:51:58.519
 of

00:51:58.519 --> 00:51:58.659
 your

00:51:58.659 --> 00:51:59.000
 heart

00:51:59.000 --> 00:51:59.159
 is

00:51:59.159 --> 00:51:59.299
 a

00:51:59.299 --> 00:51:59.539
 motive

00:51:59.539 --> 00:51:59.539


00:51:59.539 --> 00:51:59.719
 that's

00:51:59.719 --> 00:51:59.840
 going

00:51:59.840 --> 00:51:59.940
 to

00:51:59.940 --> 00:52:00.199
 push

00:52:00.199 --> 00:52:00.340
 you

00:52:00.340 --> 00:52:00.759
 towards

00:52:00.759 --> 00:52:01.480
 independence

00:52:01.480 --> 00:52:04.619
 and

00:52:04.619 --> 00:52:04.779
 you

00:52:04.779 --> 00:52:05.239
 need

00:52:05.239 --> 00:52:05.860
 your

00:52:05.860 --> 00:52:06.240
 spouse

00:52:06.240 --> 00:52:06.440
 to

00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:06.660
 help

00:52:06.660 --> 00:52:06.860
 you

00:52:06.860 --> 00:52:07.559
 understand

00:52:07.559 --> 00:52:07.860
 your

00:52:07.860 --> 00:52:08.320
 motives.

00:52:12.900 --> 00:52:13.620
 And

00:52:13.620 --> 00:52:13.980
 then you

00:52:13.980 --> 00:52:14.340
 make a

00:52:14.340 --> 00:52:14.700
 decision

00:52:14.700 --> 00:52:14.980
 that

00:52:14.980 --> 00:52:15.579
 serves

00:52:15.579 --> 00:52:18.240
 your

00:52:18.240 --> 00:52:19.360
 wife and

00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:19.519
 your

00:52:19.519 --> 00:52:20.000
 family the

00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:20.400
 best.

00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:21.400
 So

00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:21.740
 servant

00:52:21.740 --> 00:52:22.180
 leadership

00:52:22.180 --> 00:52:23.180
 works to

00:52:23.180 --> 00:52:24.059
 complement

00:52:24.059 --> 00:52:27.160
 relational

00:52:27.160 --> 00:52:28.680
 independence.

00:52:29.940 --> 00:52:30.440
 Headship is

00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:31.240
 about sacrifice

00:52:31.239 --> 00:52:32.419
 and responsibility.

00:52:33.859 --> 00:52:35.019
 So I've

00:52:35.019 --> 00:52:35.679
 taken all

00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:36.079
 the time

00:52:36.079 --> 00:52:36.259
 and I

00:52:36.259 --> 00:52:36.479
 just want

00:52:36.479 --> 00:52:36.679
 to say

00:52:36.679 --> 00:52:37.259
 one last

00:52:37.259 --> 00:52:37.519
 thing.

00:52:37.619 --> 00:52:37.839
 Where do

00:52:37.839 --> 00:52:38.139
 we get

00:52:38.139 --> 00:52:38.559
 the power

00:52:38.559 --> 00:52:38.979
 for all

00:52:38.979 --> 00:52:39.399
 of this?

00:52:40.939 --> 00:52:41.159
 And

00:52:41.159 --> 00:52:41.639
 especially

00:52:41.639 --> 00:52:42.439
 if

00:52:42.439 --> 00:52:44.279
 right now

00:52:44.279 --> 00:52:44.619
 and I

00:52:44.619 --> 00:52:45.179
 can say

00:52:45.179 --> 00:52:46.599
 even if

00:52:46.599 --> 00:52:47.219
 your spouse

00:52:47.219 --> 00:52:47.539
 is not

00:52:47.539 --> 00:52:47.899
 on board

00:52:47.899 --> 00:52:48.259
 with you

00:52:48.259 --> 00:52:48.639
 for this

00:52:48.639 --> 00:52:49.319
 right now

00:52:49.319 --> 00:52:50.539
 you still

00:52:50.539 --> 00:52:50.879
 have the

00:52:50.879 --> 00:52:51.319
 power to

00:52:51.319 --> 00:52:51.979
 start moving

00:52:51.979 --> 00:52:52.279
 in the

00:52:52.279 --> 00:52:52.779
 direction

00:52:52.779 --> 00:52:53.759
 by God's

00:52:53.759 --> 00:52:54.239
 design

00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:54.739
 in your

00:52:54.739 --> 00:52:55.279
 marriage.

00:52:55.280 --> 00:52:55.920
 marriage

00:52:55.920 --> 00:52:57.019
 because the

00:52:57.019 --> 00:52:58.260
 power that

00:52:58.260 --> 00:52:59.220
 comes from

00:52:59.220 --> 00:52:59.580
 it is

00:52:59.580 --> 00:53:00.140
 ultimately

00:53:00.140 --> 00:53:01.500
 not just

00:53:01.500 --> 00:53:02.140
 embracing

00:53:02.140 --> 00:53:03.100
 each other

00:53:03.100 --> 00:53:03.660
 but by

00:53:03.660 --> 00:53:04.340
 being embraced

00:53:04.340 --> 00:53:05.120
 by the

00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:05.519
 ultimate

00:53:05.519 --> 00:53:05.940
 other.

00:53:06.380 --> 00:53:06.760
 The one

00:53:06.760 --> 00:53:07.019
 who is

00:53:07.019 --> 00:53:07.580
 ultimately

00:53:07.580 --> 00:53:08.940
 different

00:53:08.940 --> 00:53:09.680
 to us.

00:53:11.480 --> 00:53:11.740
 The

00:53:11.740 --> 00:53:12.040
 gender

00:53:12.040 --> 00:53:12.519
 differences

00:53:12.519 --> 00:53:12.860
 are

00:53:12.860 --> 00:53:13.480
 seismic.

00:53:15.640 --> 00:53:16.120
 The

00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:16.480
 sin in

00:53:16.480 --> 00:53:17.019
 our hearts

00:53:17.019 --> 00:53:17.540
 tends to

00:53:17.540 --> 00:53:18.260
 respond by

00:53:18.260 --> 00:53:18.740
 assigning

00:53:18.740 --> 00:53:19.120
 moral

00:53:19.120 --> 00:53:20.080
 significance

00:53:20.080 --> 00:53:22.120
 to those

00:53:22.120 --> 00:53:22.620
 differences

00:53:22.620 --> 00:53:23.480
 when the

00:53:23.480 --> 00:53:23.880
 differences

00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:24.980
 are really

00:53:24.980 --> 00:53:26.400
 deeply

00:53:26.400 --> 00:53:27.260
 temperamental.

00:53:29.599 --> 00:53:29.880
 And

00:53:29.880 --> 00:53:30.199
 Jesus

00:53:30.199 --> 00:53:30.679
 gives us

00:53:30.679 --> 00:53:31.099
 the pattern

00:53:31.099 --> 00:53:31.440
 to make

00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:31.960
 it work

00:53:31.960 --> 00:53:33.139
 but also

00:53:33.139 --> 00:53:33.599
 the power

00:53:33.599 --> 00:53:34.039
 to change

00:53:34.039 --> 00:53:34.559
 our hearts

00:53:34.559 --> 00:53:35.240
 towards each

00:53:35.240 --> 00:53:35.519
 other.

00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:36.940
 And that

00:53:36.940 --> 00:53:37.500
 power is

00:53:37.500 --> 00:53:38.260
 simply this.

00:53:38.599 --> 00:53:39.039
 It's the

00:53:39.039 --> 00:53:39.400
 gospel.

00:53:43.179 --> 00:53:43.980
 You should

00:53:43.980 --> 00:53:44.240
 have picked

00:53:44.240 --> 00:53:44.760
 this up in

00:53:44.760 --> 00:53:45.300
 Ephesians

00:53:45.300 --> 00:53:45.699
 when we're

00:53:45.699 --> 00:53:46.460
 in Ephesians

00:53:46.460 --> 00:53:47.380
 but Jesus

00:53:47.380 --> 00:53:47.900
 Christ

00:53:47.900 --> 00:53:48.440
 embraced

00:53:48.440 --> 00:53:49.139
 his church.

00:53:50.119 --> 00:53:50.300
 He

00:53:50.300 --> 00:53:50.780
 embraced

00:53:50.780 --> 00:53:51.300
 that which

00:53:51.300 --> 00:53:51.960
 was completely

00:53:51.960 --> 00:53:52.659
 other than

00:53:52.659 --> 00:53:53.000
 him.

00:53:53.900 --> 00:53:54.300
 Sinful

00:53:54.300 --> 00:53:54.699
 nature.

00:53:54.980 --> 00:53:55.420
 Sinful

00:53:55.420 --> 00:53:56.019
 humanity.

00:53:57.760 --> 00:53:58.400
 As

00:53:58.400 --> 00:53:59.920
 being

00:53:59.920 --> 00:54:00.380
 humans

00:54:00.380 --> 00:54:01.199
 we are

00:54:01.199 --> 00:54:01.599
 not

00:54:01.599 --> 00:54:04.340
 just

00:54:04.340 --> 00:54:04.599
 simply

00:54:04.599 --> 00:54:05.099
 different

00:54:05.099 --> 00:54:05.480
 from

00:54:05.480 --> 00:54:05.860
 him.

00:54:06.260 --> 00:54:06.840
 We are

00:54:06.840 --> 00:54:07.300
 fundamentally

00:54:07.300 --> 00:54:07.840
 opposed

00:54:07.840 --> 00:54:08.579
 to him

00:54:08.579 --> 00:54:09.500
 as

00:54:09.500 --> 00:54:10.019
 God.

00:54:10.740 --> 00:54:10.980
 And yet

00:54:10.980 --> 00:54:11.360
 he took

00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:11.860
 on human

00:54:11.860 --> 00:54:12.380
 flesh

00:54:12.380 --> 00:54:12.820
 and he

00:54:12.820 --> 00:54:13.079
 drew

00:54:13.079 --> 00:54:13.559
 close.

00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:16.400
 He

00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:16.780
 didn't

00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:17.340
 exclude

00:54:17.340 --> 00:54:18.000
 us by

00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:18.460
 simply

00:54:18.460 --> 00:54:19.179
 from the

00:54:19.179 --> 00:54:19.420
 heights

00:54:19.420 --> 00:54:19.880
 of heaven

00:54:19.880 --> 00:54:20.539
 casting

00:54:20.539 --> 00:54:21.219
 us away

00:54:21.219 --> 00:54:22.139
 consigning

00:54:22.139 --> 00:54:22.519
 us to

00:54:22.519 --> 00:54:22.960
 eternal

00:54:22.960 --> 00:54:23.519
 judgment

00:54:23.519 --> 00:54:23.759
 for

00:54:23.759 --> 00:54:24.139
 rebellion

00:54:24.139 --> 00:54:24.639
 against

00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:24.980
 him.

00:54:25.980 --> 00:54:26.480
 He

00:54:26.480 --> 00:54:26.759
 took

00:54:26.759 --> 00:54:27.340
 on

00:54:27.340 --> 00:54:27.880
 human

00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:28.480
 flesh

00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:29.900
 and

00:54:29.900 --> 00:54:30.539
 embraced

00:54:30.539 --> 00:54:30.840
 us

00:54:30.840 --> 00:54:31.420
 ultimately

00:54:31.420 --> 00:54:32.099
 by dying

00:54:32.099 --> 00:54:32.539
 on the

00:54:32.539 --> 00:54:33.079
 cross

00:54:33.079 --> 00:54:34.360
 in our

00:54:34.360 --> 00:54:34.980
 place

00:54:34.980 --> 00:54:36.259
 for our

00:54:36.259 --> 00:54:36.759
 sin.

00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:38.039
 For

00:54:38.039 --> 00:54:38.460
 Jesus

00:54:38.460 --> 00:54:38.780
 to

00:54:38.780 --> 00:54:39.519
 embrace

00:54:39.519 --> 00:54:40.579
 hostile

00:54:40.579 --> 00:54:41.360
 humanity

00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:43.000
 required of

00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:43.579
 him the

00:54:43.579 --> 00:54:43.940
 greatest

00:54:43.940 --> 00:54:44.500
 sacrifice

00:54:44.500 --> 00:54:45.199
 of all.

00:54:46.780 --> 00:54:47.159
 He had

00:54:47.159 --> 00:54:47.840
 to experience

00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:48.500
 the rejection

00:54:48.500 --> 00:54:49.099
 of his

00:54:49.099 --> 00:54:49.539
 father.

00:54:51.860 --> 00:54:52.760
 He was

00:54:52.760 --> 00:54:53.420
 excluded

00:54:53.420 --> 00:54:54.059
 so that

00:54:54.059 --> 00:54:54.340
 we could

00:54:54.340 --> 00:54:54.739
 be brought

00:54:54.739 --> 00:54:55.059
 in.

00:54:57.500 --> 00:54:57.719
 And

00:54:57.719 --> 00:54:58.440
 sometimes

00:54:58.440 --> 00:54:59.920
 maybe too

00:54:59.920 --> 00:55:00.340
 often

00:55:00.340 --> 00:55:01.260
 spouses

00:55:01.260 --> 00:55:02.019
 experience

00:55:02.019 --> 00:55:02.679
 betrayal

00:55:02.679 --> 00:55:03.900
 rejection

00:55:03.900 --> 00:55:04.840
 and attacks

00:55:04.840 --> 00:55:05.980
 and the

00:55:05.980 --> 00:55:06.739
 easiest thing

00:55:06.739 --> 00:55:07.199
 to do

00:55:07.199 --> 00:55:07.500
 in that

00:55:07.500 --> 00:55:07.980
 moment

00:55:07.980 --> 00:55:08.500
 is to

00:55:08.500 --> 00:55:08.880
 withdraw

00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:09.880
 and leave.

00:55:12.380 --> 00:55:12.780
 And in

00:55:12.780 --> 00:55:13.480
 some instances

00:55:13.480 --> 00:55:15.199
 for your own

00:55:15.199 --> 00:55:15.739
 safety you

00:55:15.739 --> 00:55:16.219
 do need

00:55:16.219 --> 00:55:16.500
 to.

00:55:18.500 --> 00:55:21.199
 But the

00:55:21.199 --> 00:55:21.659
 place that

00:55:21.659 --> 00:55:22.139
 you cling

00:55:22.139 --> 00:55:22.519
 to in

00:55:22.519 --> 00:55:23.179
 every instance

00:55:23.179 --> 00:55:23.579
 where that

00:55:23.579 --> 00:55:24.159
 happens

00:55:24.159 --> 00:55:25.400
 is the

00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:25.960
 knowledge that

00:55:25.960 --> 00:55:26.539
 Jesus never

00:55:26.539 --> 00:55:26.940
 did.

00:55:28.539 --> 00:55:28.840
 And he

00:55:28.840 --> 00:55:29.320
 never will.

00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:32.460
 He embraced

00:55:32.460 --> 00:55:33.300
 us, he

00:55:33.300 --> 00:55:34.000
 loves us and

00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:34.739
 still does.

00:55:35.900 --> 00:55:36.400
 And what that

00:55:36.400 --> 00:55:37.300
 means is it

00:55:37.300 --> 00:55:38.280
 enables us to

00:55:38.280 --> 00:55:39.760
 embrace rather

00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:40.639
 than exclude

00:55:40.639 --> 00:55:41.800
 our spouse

00:55:41.800 --> 00:55:43.000
 with all the

00:55:43.000 --> 00:55:43.860
 mysterious and

00:55:43.860 --> 00:55:44.920
 often infuriating

00:55:44.920 --> 00:55:45.699
 differences there

00:55:45.699 --> 00:55:46.599
 are between us.

00:55:46.599 --> 00:55:48.199
 in the

00:55:48.199 --> 00:55:48.920
 gospel of

00:55:48.920 --> 00:55:49.860
 Jesus Christ

00:55:49.860 --> 00:55:50.559
 we have

00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:51.259
 profound

00:55:51.259 --> 00:55:53.099
 security that

00:55:53.099 --> 00:55:54.239
 frees us

00:55:54.239 --> 00:55:55.579
 from the

00:55:55.579 --> 00:55:56.900
 natural human

00:55:56.900 --> 00:55:57.839
 impulse

00:55:57.839 --> 00:55:59.819
 that seeks

00:55:59.819 --> 00:56:01.139
 to despise

00:56:01.139 --> 00:56:03.299
 anyone who

00:56:03.299 --> 00:56:03.860
 is different

00:56:03.860 --> 00:56:04.699
 to us,

00:56:05.299 --> 00:56:06.980
 to negate

00:56:06.980 --> 00:56:07.239
 it,

00:56:07.759 --> 00:56:08.519
 to demean

00:56:08.519 --> 00:56:08.699
 it,

00:56:08.759 --> 00:56:09.119
 to put it

00:56:09.119 --> 00:56:09.519
 down.

00:56:09.519 --> 00:56:12.340
 and that's

00:56:12.340 --> 00:56:13.019
 especially the

00:56:13.019 --> 00:56:13.539
 case our

00:56:13.539 --> 00:56:14.079
 spouse.

00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:16.739
 Marriage is

00:56:16.739 --> 00:56:17.500
 often painful

00:56:17.500 --> 00:56:18.259
 and it is

00:56:18.259 --> 00:56:19.599
 always complicated

00:56:19.599 --> 00:56:20.980
 but it helps

00:56:20.980 --> 00:56:21.820
 us grow and

00:56:21.820 --> 00:56:22.480
 mature in

00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:23.360
 ways that no

00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:24.659
 other experience

00:56:24.659 --> 00:56:26.239
 in this world

00:56:26.239 --> 00:56:27.039
 can produce.

00:56:27.900 --> 00:56:29.000
 It also brings

00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:29.739
 about deep

00:56:29.739 --> 00:56:30.559
 oneness and

00:56:30.559 --> 00:56:31.280
 self-knowledge

00:56:31.280 --> 00:56:32.000
 and change

00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:33.340
 because of

00:56:33.340 --> 00:56:34.820
 the profound

00:56:34.820 --> 00:56:36.699
 complementarity

00:56:36.699 --> 00:56:38.019
 there is

00:56:38.019 --> 00:56:38.599
 between the

00:56:38.599 --> 00:56:39.239
 sexes.

00:56:40.239 --> 00:56:40.780
 The tender

00:56:40.780 --> 00:56:41.440
 serving

00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:42.960
 authority of

00:56:42.960 --> 00:56:43.539
 a husband's

00:56:43.539 --> 00:56:43.960
 headship

00:56:43.960 --> 00:56:45.239
 and the

00:56:45.239 --> 00:56:45.940
 strong

00:56:45.940 --> 00:56:47.019
 gracious

00:56:47.019 --> 00:56:47.699
 gift of

00:56:47.699 --> 00:56:48.280
 a wife's

00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:48.780
 submission

00:56:48.780 --> 00:56:50.639
 restore us

00:56:50.639 --> 00:56:51.159
 to who

00:56:51.159 --> 00:56:51.639
 we're meant

00:56:51.639 --> 00:56:52.199
 to be

00:56:52.199 --> 00:56:52.519
 at the

00:56:52.519 --> 00:56:52.719
 very

00:56:52.719 --> 00:56:53.320
 creation.

00:56:55.159 --> 00:56:55.500
 And by

00:56:55.500 --> 00:56:56.159
 accepting

00:56:56.159 --> 00:56:57.219
 our gender

00:56:57.219 --> 00:56:58.719
 roles and

00:56:58.719 --> 00:56:59.820
 operating within

00:56:59.820 --> 00:57:01.179
 them we are

00:57:01.179 --> 00:57:02.039
 able to

00:57:02.039 --> 00:57:02.839
 demonstrate

00:57:02.839 --> 00:57:03.699
 to the

00:57:03.699 --> 00:57:04.199
 world,

00:57:04.980 --> 00:57:05.759
 to the

00:57:05.759 --> 00:57:06.419
 unbelieving

00:57:06.419 --> 00:57:06.980
 world,

00:57:07.219 --> 00:57:08.859
 concepts that

00:57:08.859 --> 00:57:09.779
 are so

00:57:09.779 --> 00:57:11.219
 counterintuitive

00:57:11.219 --> 00:57:12.719
 as to be

00:57:12.719 --> 00:57:13.259
 virtually

00:57:13.259 --> 00:57:14.239
 completely

00:57:14.239 --> 00:57:15.599
 unintelligible

00:57:15.599 --> 00:57:15.619
!

00:57:17.480 --> 00:57:18.440
 Concepts of

00:57:18.440 --> 00:57:18.940
 God,

00:57:19.339 --> 00:57:19.779
 of his

00:57:19.779 --> 00:57:20.279
 nature,

00:57:20.379 --> 00:57:20.759
 of who he

00:57:20.759 --> 00:57:21.379
 is in the

00:57:21.379 --> 00:57:21.839
 gospel,

00:57:22.259 --> 00:57:22.899
 completely

00:57:22.899 --> 00:57:23.799
 unintelligible

00:57:23.799 --> 00:57:25.419
 unless they

00:57:25.419 --> 00:57:25.779
 are lived

00:57:25.779 --> 00:57:26.519
 out by men

00:57:26.519 --> 00:57:26.980
 and women

00:57:26.980 --> 00:57:28.159
 in Christian

00:57:28.159 --> 00:57:28.679
 marriage.