WEBVTT

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 Good morning, Watermark.

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 The scripture reading comes from 1 Corinthians 6 and 7.

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 Please follow along on the screen, the bulletin, or your own Bible.

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 Starting in chapter 6, verse 12, we read,

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 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful.

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 All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything.

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 Food is meant for the stomach, and the stomach for food.

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 And God will destroy both one and the other.

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 The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord.

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 And the Lord for the body.

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 And God raised the Lord, and will also raise us up by His power.

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 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?

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 Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?

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 Never.

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 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?

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 For as it is written, the two will become one flesh.

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 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.

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 Flee from sexual immorality.

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 Every other sin a person commits is outside the body.

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 But the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

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 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you,

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 whom you have from God?

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 You are not your own.

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 You were bought with a price.

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 So glorify God in your body.

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 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote,

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 It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

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 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality,

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 each man should have his own wife,

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 and each woman her own husband.

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 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights,

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 and likewise the wife to her husband.

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 For the wife does not have authority over her own body,

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 but the husband does.

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 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body,

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 but the wife does.

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 Do not deprive one another,

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 except perhaps by agreement for a limited time,

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 that you may devote yourselves to prayer,

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 but then come together again,

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 so that Satan may not tempt you

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 because of your lack of self-control.

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 This is the word of God.

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 Thank you.

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 Thank you, Iris.

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 For those of you who don't know me,

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 my name is Chris.

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 I'm one of the leaders here at Watermark,

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 and we're going through this series

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 looking at sex, gender, relationships,

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 marriage, cohabitation, singleness.

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 And for some of you,

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 this is actually really, really sensitive topics.

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 And just as we looked at marriage last week,

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 and we looked at how it's not just a partnership

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 or a self-fulfillment thing,

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 it's a one flesh union thing,

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 this week we're actually going to look at

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 another painful topic of sex.

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 And so before I start and before I pray,

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 I want to just say to each one of us

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 that actually we want this community

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 to be a place of safety.

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 We want it to be a place where wherever you're up to,

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 if this really touches on some particular areas

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 and we can't cover everything

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 just in one or two or three talks,

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 please come and talk to us.

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 Because this is not a journey

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 that we want to go on by ourselves.

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 It's a journey to go on together as a community.

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 So let me just pray for us

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 as we begin to look into this topic.

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 Father, I thank you that you're the God

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 who wants to be with us.

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 You are the great lover of our souls.

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 Thank you you're the one that we were made for.

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 And thank you that you're the one who knows us.

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 And thank you that you're the one

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 who comes to us wherever we are

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 and you want to speak to us.

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 You want to draw us to yourself.

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 You want to heal us.

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 You want to restore us.

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 You want to use us for your glory.

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 And I pray that today

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 you would would just go into our hearts.

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 I pray, Lord, remove anything

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 that's just unhelpful.

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 But I pray, would you make us the kind of church

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 which reflects the kind of God you are,

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 the kind of love that you have,

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 and you change us through it.

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 In Jesus' name.

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 Amen.

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 I remember when I had the sex talk.

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 I was 11 years old

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 and my dad and I were driving along in the car.

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 And my dad turned to me and he said,

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 son, he probably didn't say that,

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 but he said,

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 I think we ought to talk about sex.

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 At that moment I went,

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 I sank into my seat,

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 I went bright red,

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 I thought,

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 I hoped the ground would swallow me up.

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 Because he said the S word.

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 And then he said,

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 I'll give you a book.

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 And I went,

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 phew,

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 that's great.

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 Because,

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 like some of us,

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 I kind of grew up

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 and we'd grown up with this traditional view of sex,

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 which in the line of the film,

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 kind of,

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 no sex please,

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 we're British.

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 Or no sex please,

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 we're Christians.

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 Or no sex please,

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 because we're traditional.

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 And,

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 it's one of those things that in churches

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 we just don't talk about.

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 And when you don't talk about something,

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 or actually the church's message is just generally,

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 just say no.

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 You know,

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 no porn,

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 no sex before marriage,

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 no masturbation.

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 What comes out of that is actually,

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 you feel like it's something dirty,

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 something shameful.

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 And in the Corinthian church,

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 there was a group like this,

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 and they said things like,

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 it's good for a man not to have sex with a woman.

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 And that is very much

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 what a lot of us have grown up with,

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 that kind of impression.

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 And,

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 opposed to that,

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 in reaction to that,

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 modern,

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 a lot of modern society,

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 has,

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 has said,

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 well,

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 look at how repressive that is.

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 Instead,

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 we,

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 we have something else that we need to offer.

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 And they say three things.

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 They say sex is nothing,

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 sex is everything,

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 and sex is private.

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 And so,

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 sex is nothing.

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 Well,

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 in Corinth,

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 people were saying,

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 well,

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 all things are lawful for me.

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 I can do what I want.

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 They can say,

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 food is for the stomach,

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 and the stomach is for food.

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 In other words,

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 sex is nothing.

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 It's just biological desires,

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 like food,

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 which must be net.

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 And I've got needs,

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 and not to meet my sexual needs,

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 is repressive,

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 and it can cause psychological,

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 and physical damage to us.

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 So,

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 in the words of the 90s song,

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 you and me,

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 baby,

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 are nothing but mammals.

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 So,

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 let's do it like we do it on the Discovery Channel.

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 Because,

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 sex is nothing.

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 It's just biological need.

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 But we also say,

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 sex is everything.

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 You know,

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 I read this article,

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 with a headline from the BBC,

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 which said,

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 the sadness of life without sex.

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 Because,

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 you see,

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 sex in our culture,

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 is seen as the ultimate place of happiness,

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 the ultimate source of fulfillment.

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 And if you think of celibacy,

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 not having sex,

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 that's a dirty word.

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 That's sounding like,

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 you're condemned to a life of misery,

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 a life of loneliness,

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 a life of suffering.

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 And who wants that?

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 And some of us feel that,

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 right?

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 We say,

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 sex is nothing.

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 We say,

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 sex is everything.

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 But then we also say,

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 sex is private.

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 And,

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 our culture says,

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 well,

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 it's your body

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 to do what you want to do with it,

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 with who you want,

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 when you want,

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 just as long as it doesn't harm anyone.

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 And we then define what harm means.

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 And so,

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 as long,

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 and in this kind of me too world,

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 as long as there's consent,

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 everything's on the table.

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 But it's fascinating where all of that has led us to.

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 I could go on for a long time.

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 I'm just going to give you some highlights.

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 Look at the trail of wreckage in families,

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 where affairs and porn addiction and divorce are justified by.

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 I just couldn't help it.

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 You weren't meeting my needs,

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 and so I had to look elsewhere.

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 Just think of all the dating singles

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 who feel pressured into sex

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 because it's expected and even demanded of you,

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 even if you don't want to do it.

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 Think of the sexting among yous

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 leading to shame and fear.

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 Think of the pressure to be good in bed,

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 which leads,

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 research shows us,

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 to a massive outbreak of performance anxiety.

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 And in this world where we actually have sex

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 more readily available to us

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 than any other time in human history,

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 you know, we've got Tinder,

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 you've got online hookups,

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 you've got porn,

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 you've got everything available to you

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 just at the click of a button.

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 In this world,

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 do you know that global research is showing

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 that people are having less sex than ever before?

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 You know, from Japan to Denmark,

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 governments are getting seriously worried.

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 You see, I heard one person

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 summarize modern sexuality like this.

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 He said,

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 it's an ever-increasing demand

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 for an ever-decreasing pleasure

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 because people are never getting enough.

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 And people are showing

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 that the porn industry

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 amongst singles and marrieds

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 is diminishing people's desire

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 and appetite for real-life relationships

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 and real-life sex.

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 And they know that it's less satisfying

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 from the surveys,

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 but it's just too much work

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 to do real relationships.

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 And there's so much other research out there,

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 it's amazing.

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 And all of this, we're told,

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 is sexual liberation.

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 You know,

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 I've shared before,

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 but I had a colleague

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 that I went away with

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 and I shared with him

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 that Fiona and I

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 would not have sex

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 before we got married.

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 And he looked stunned.

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 And then he said to me,

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 I wish I was like you,

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 but I'm a slave to my desires.

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 And whenever I see a hot woman,

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 I have to sleep with her.

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 You see,

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 when your desires rule,

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 what happens is not freedom,

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 but slavery.

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 You see,

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 slaves become addicts

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 who become users,

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 not lovers.

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 That people become objects

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 to satisfy them

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 rather than those

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 that we're to cherish

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 and care for.

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 You know,

00:11:56.100 --> 00:11:57.759
 relationships become trades

00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:58.460
 with your body

00:11:58.460 --> 00:11:59.299
 as a commodity.

00:11:59.879 --> 00:12:01.059
 And as long as you're meeting

00:12:01.059 --> 00:12:01.860
 my need

00:12:01.860 --> 00:12:02.779
 or each other's needs,

00:12:02.860 --> 00:12:03.480
 then we're fine.

00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:04.279
 We'll stay together.

00:12:04.519 --> 00:12:05.639
 But the moment it doesn't,

00:12:05.940 --> 00:12:07.200
 then we're not compatible

00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:08.300
 and we move on.

00:12:09.920 --> 00:12:10.820
 And I have spoken

00:12:10.820 --> 00:12:11.800
 to so many people

00:12:11.800 --> 00:12:12.720
 who have said to me

00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:13.259
 things like,

00:12:14.279 --> 00:12:15.100
 you know,

00:12:15.159 --> 00:12:16.740
 I realize after our relationship,

00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:18.000
 really they were only interested

00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:18.980
 in getting me into bed.

00:12:20.180 --> 00:12:21.080
 And it's left

00:12:21.080 --> 00:12:22.080
 a whole generation

00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:23.399
 confused,

00:12:24.100 --> 00:12:24.720
 scarred,

00:12:25.240 --> 00:12:25.639
 torn.

00:12:26.820 --> 00:12:28.180
 And this is not my opinion.

00:12:28.300 --> 00:12:29.240
 This is what all the research

00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:30.060
 is showing us.

00:12:30.059 --> 00:12:33.799
 But the Bible

00:12:33.799 --> 00:12:36.139
 has a more beautiful,

00:12:36.579 --> 00:12:38.439
 more freeing vision

00:12:38.439 --> 00:12:39.899
 of sexuality

00:12:39.899 --> 00:12:41.019
 and sex.

00:12:41.579 --> 00:12:41.739
 You know,

00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:42.539
 Paul himself,

00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:43.399
 he says,

00:12:43.659 --> 00:12:44.739
 all things are lawful,

00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:46.379
 but I will not be dominated

00:12:46.379 --> 00:12:47.599
 or enslaved,

00:12:47.599 --> 00:12:48.539
 is the word,

00:12:48.779 --> 00:12:49.719
 by anything.

00:12:50.119 --> 00:12:52.179
 Because Christian sexuality

00:12:52.179 --> 00:12:53.599
 is about freedom.

00:12:54.599 --> 00:12:55.259
 And I want to

00:12:55.259 --> 00:12:56.659
 talk about this

00:12:56.659 --> 00:12:57.759
 just in a few aspects.

00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:00.120
 I don't have time

00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:01.100
 to go into everything,

00:13:01.779 --> 00:13:03.000
 even in this passage,

00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:03.639
 but I'm just going to

00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:04.559
 pick out some highlights.

00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:06.159
 You see,

00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:07.019
 our society says,

00:13:07.340 --> 00:13:08.419
 sex is basically

00:13:08.419 --> 00:13:09.460
 an end in itself,

00:13:09.539 --> 00:13:11.200
 it's just a personal experience.

00:13:11.439 --> 00:13:12.299
 But God says,

00:13:12.580 --> 00:13:13.840
 sex is a means

00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:15.279
 to a greater end.

00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:16.639
 And I have a,

00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:18.980
 just a simple definition here.

00:13:19.740 --> 00:13:21.899
 Sex is a God-glorifying

00:13:21.899 --> 00:13:23.519
 act of self-giving

00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:24.960
 between a husband

00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:25.840
 and wife

00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:27.060
 for the purpose

00:13:27.060 --> 00:13:28.600
 of deepening intimacy,

00:13:29.060 --> 00:13:29.820
 procreation,

00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:31.420
 and pointing us

00:13:31.420 --> 00:13:32.960
 to our heavenly husband,

00:13:33.160 --> 00:13:33.639
 Christ.

00:13:35.160 --> 00:13:36.440
 It's God-glorifying

00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:38.180
 act of self-giving

00:13:38.180 --> 00:13:39.639
 between a husband

00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:40.220
 and wife

00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:40.960
 in marriage

00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:42.000
 for the purpose

00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.000
 of deepening intimacy,

00:13:43.500 --> 00:13:44.220
 procreation,

00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:45.420
 and pointing us

00:13:45.420 --> 00:13:46.040
 to Christ.

00:13:46.740 --> 00:13:47.580
 Let me unpack

00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:48.620
 some of that

00:13:48.620 --> 00:13:49.480
 as we go.

00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:51.379
 And I'm going to do that

00:13:51.379 --> 00:13:52.879
 in a few ways.

00:13:52.879 --> 00:13:53.860
 So the first,

00:13:55.559 --> 00:13:57.039
 sex in the Bible

00:13:57.039 --> 00:13:58.559
 is good.

00:13:59.419 --> 00:14:00.279
 It's not nothing,

00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:01.500
 it's not everything,

00:14:01.779 --> 00:14:02.620
 it's not bad,

00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:04.080
 it's very good.

00:14:04.919 --> 00:14:05.200
 You see,

00:14:05.259 --> 00:14:06.320
 when God created

00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:08.000
 man and woman,

00:14:09.179 --> 00:14:10.799
 it says in Genesis,

00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:12.659
 they were naked

00:14:12.659 --> 00:14:14.279
 and unashamed.

00:14:15.460 --> 00:14:15.779
 You know,

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:17.000
 we are wired

00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:18.019
 by God

00:14:18.019 --> 00:14:19.100
 for intimacy

00:14:19.100 --> 00:14:20.320
 and vulnerability.

00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:22.740
 when nothing is hidden

00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:24.260
 and you feel

00:14:24.260 --> 00:14:25.520
 utterly safe,

00:14:25.879 --> 00:14:26.700
 utterly known,

00:14:26.980 --> 00:14:28.000
 and utterly loved.

00:14:29.020 --> 00:14:30.200
 That's at the heart

00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:30.780
 of God's

00:14:30.780 --> 00:14:32.340
 God-given desire

00:14:32.340 --> 00:14:33.240
 for sex.

00:14:34.280 --> 00:14:35.560
 And He wired

00:14:35.560 --> 00:14:36.320
 our bodies

00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:37.040
 with all kinds

00:14:37.040 --> 00:14:37.680
 of chemicals

00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:38.680
 like testosterone,

00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:39.879
 estrogen,

00:14:40.379 --> 00:14:40.879
 dopamine,

00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:42.200
 oxytocin,

00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:43.540
 all these different things

00:14:43.540 --> 00:14:44.520
 for pleasure

00:14:44.520 --> 00:14:45.580
 and orgasms.

00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:46.280
 You can say that

00:14:46.280 --> 00:14:46.740
 in church.

00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:47.800
 And orgasms

00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:49.179
 and attachment

00:14:49.179 --> 00:14:50.479
 that bring physical

00:14:50.479 --> 00:14:51.179
 pleasure

00:14:51.179 --> 00:14:53.699
 in sexual intimacy.

00:14:55.519 --> 00:14:56.240
 Do you know

00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:57.259
 what the first command

00:14:57.259 --> 00:14:58.259
 in the Bible is?

00:14:59.819 --> 00:15:01.219
 Have lots of sex,

00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:02.279
 be fruitful

00:15:02.279 --> 00:15:03.339
 and multiply.

00:15:06.219 --> 00:15:07.579
 God wasn't going

00:15:07.579 --> 00:15:08.620
 when He saw

00:15:08.620 --> 00:15:09.479
 Adam and Eve together.

00:15:09.599 --> 00:15:10.579
 My goodness me,

00:15:10.659 --> 00:15:11.519
 what are they up to?

00:15:12.279 --> 00:15:13.079
 He says,

00:15:13.219 --> 00:15:13.599
 no,

00:15:14.659 --> 00:15:16.699
 this is good.

00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:17.379
 In fact,

00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:19.600
 it's very good.

00:15:20.680 --> 00:15:21.379
 And if you don't

00:15:21.379 --> 00:15:22.160
 believe me,

00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:23.940
 there's a whole book

00:15:23.940 --> 00:15:24.640
 of the Bible,

00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:26.120
 the Song of Songs,

00:15:26.460 --> 00:15:27.520
 which is an erotic

00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:28.420
 love poem

00:15:28.420 --> 00:15:29.480
 which a lot of people

00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:29.900
 in history

00:15:29.900 --> 00:15:31.100
 got very embarrassed

00:15:31.100 --> 00:15:31.580
 about

00:15:31.580 --> 00:15:33.100
 because it's a husband

00:15:33.100 --> 00:15:33.800
 and a wife

00:15:33.800 --> 00:15:35.120
 who are delighting

00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:36.240
 in each other's bodies,

00:15:36.740 --> 00:15:37.600
 in intimacy,

00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:38.840
 delighting even

00:15:38.840 --> 00:15:39.879
 in the naughty bits.

00:15:40.400 --> 00:15:41.500
 And it's in the Bible.

00:15:42.300 --> 00:15:42.860
 And God says,

00:15:42.940 --> 00:15:43.500
 it's good.

00:15:43.500 --> 00:15:46.600
 So spouses,

00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:47.320
 let me speak

00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:48.039
 to you for a second.

00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:50.460
 When did you last

00:15:50.460 --> 00:15:51.779
 express

00:15:51.779 --> 00:15:53.100
 appreciation

00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:53.960
 for an aspect

00:15:53.960 --> 00:15:55.220
 of your partner's body?

00:15:57.220 --> 00:15:57.440
 Now,

00:15:57.539 --> 00:15:57.779
 singles,

00:15:57.940 --> 00:15:58.379
 don't go around

00:15:58.379 --> 00:15:58.840
 doing this.

00:15:58.879 --> 00:15:59.740
 It's going to get creepy.

00:16:00.059 --> 00:16:00.200
 Okay?

00:16:01.460 --> 00:16:02.259
 But spouses,

00:16:02.360 --> 00:16:02.919
 when do you last

00:16:02.919 --> 00:16:03.539
 say something like,

00:16:03.620 --> 00:16:03.779
 hey,

00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:04.899
 your eyes are

00:16:04.899 --> 00:16:05.519
 really beautiful.

00:16:06.580 --> 00:16:07.500
 I love your smile.

00:16:09.779 --> 00:16:10.899
 Because that is

00:16:10.899 --> 00:16:11.700
 God honoring

00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:12.900
 because in saying that,

00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:13.440
 you're saying,

00:16:13.580 --> 00:16:15.920
 God made you good.

00:16:17.220 --> 00:16:18.379
 And that's true.

00:16:20.040 --> 00:16:20.700
 And in our

00:16:20.700 --> 00:16:22.640
 very sexualized culture,

00:16:23.700 --> 00:16:24.780
 many of us actually,

00:16:24.940 --> 00:16:25.480
 if we're honest,

00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:26.800
 we struggle with our bodies

00:16:26.800 --> 00:16:29.580
 because we don't feel

00:16:29.580 --> 00:16:30.460
 that we match up

00:16:30.460 --> 00:16:32.259
 to the oppressive ideals

00:16:32.259 --> 00:16:33.020
 that our culture

00:16:33.020 --> 00:16:34.600
 tells us we should be

00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:36.060
 to be sexy,

00:16:36.800 --> 00:16:37.800
 whatever that means.

00:16:39.140 --> 00:16:40.080
 And what God wants us

00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:40.820
 to hear today

00:16:40.820 --> 00:16:41.580
 is that though our

00:16:41.580 --> 00:16:42.379
 physical bodies

00:16:42.379 --> 00:16:42.980
 are broken,

00:16:43.300 --> 00:16:43.720
 they're not all

00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:44.440
 they should be,

00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:47.860
 He created you

00:16:47.860 --> 00:16:49.820
 and when He looks at you,

00:16:49.940 --> 00:16:50.560
 He says,

00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:51.820
 that is good.

00:16:52.540 --> 00:16:54.440
 So don't call ugly

00:16:54.440 --> 00:16:56.020
 what God calls beautiful

00:16:56.020 --> 00:16:58.440
 and don't allow culture

00:16:58.440 --> 00:16:59.600
 to define the way

00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:00.460
 you see your body.

00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:02.200
 Let God's Word define it.

00:17:02.660 --> 00:17:03.600
 And He says,

00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:04.960
 you,

00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:05.640
 your body,

00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:06.559
 your sexuality,

00:17:06.759 --> 00:17:07.580
 it's a gift from me

00:17:07.580 --> 00:17:08.240
 and it's good.

00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:10.299
 That's the first thing

00:17:10.299 --> 00:17:11.259
 the Bible shows us.

00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:12.299
 Sex is good.

00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:14.500
 The second thing,

00:17:15.220 --> 00:17:15.759
 and we're going to come

00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:16.420
 into a little bit

00:17:16.420 --> 00:17:17.400
 of the passage now,

00:17:18.940 --> 00:17:20.079
 is sex is worship.

00:17:22.140 --> 00:17:23.079
 Now, I'll explain

00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:23.960
 what I mean by that.

00:17:25.099 --> 00:17:26.180
 Paul says this,

00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:27.460
 he says,

00:17:27.579 --> 00:17:29.680
 the body is not meant

00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:31.019
 for sexual immorality,

00:17:31.500 --> 00:17:32.480
 but for the Lord

00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:34.920
 and the Lord for the body.

00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:36.480
 And then later on,

00:17:36.539 --> 00:17:37.380
 he goes down and says,

00:17:37.900 --> 00:17:38.660
 don't you know,

00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:41.580
 your body is a temple

00:17:41.580 --> 00:17:43.480
 of the Holy Spirit.

00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:46.240
 Our culture says,

00:17:46.620 --> 00:17:48.100
 your body is your body

00:17:48.100 --> 00:17:48.880
 for you.

00:17:49.620 --> 00:17:50.440
 Scripture says,

00:17:50.759 --> 00:17:51.100
 no,

00:17:51.300 --> 00:17:52.400
 if you're a Christian,

00:17:52.840 --> 00:17:54.700
 your body is not yours,

00:17:54.820 --> 00:17:55.800
 it's for the Lord.

00:17:57.320 --> 00:17:58.380
 It's a temple

00:17:58.380 --> 00:18:00.000
 and a temple

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:01.340
 is a place

00:18:01.340 --> 00:18:02.420
 of worship.

00:18:02.420 --> 00:18:04.740
 And what you do

00:18:04.740 --> 00:18:05.900
 with your genitals,

00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:06.620
 what you do

00:18:06.620 --> 00:18:07.759
 with your desires,

00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:09.820
 will either serve

00:18:09.820 --> 00:18:11.440
 and worship Jesus

00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:12.700
 or you'll serve

00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:13.519
 and worship

00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:15.300
 your idolatrous desires,

00:18:15.840 --> 00:18:17.100
 which will enslave you.

00:18:17.560 --> 00:18:17.900
 You know,

00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:18.680
 in the words

00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:19.340
 of Bob Dylan,

00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:21.080
 you've got to serve somebody.

00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:22.400
 And with your body,

00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:23.360
 that's also true.

00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:26.180
 And this is key.

00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:28.300
 Because a lot of people

00:18:28.300 --> 00:18:29.620
 ask me questions like,

00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:30.680
 is it okay

00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:31.800
 to masturbate?

00:18:31.799 --> 00:18:33.319
 Or how far

00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:34.259
 is too far

00:18:34.259 --> 00:18:35.139
 in a relationship?

00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:37.720
 And the question

00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:38.700
 that Scripture

00:18:38.700 --> 00:18:39.619
 would come to us,

00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:40.099
 which should be

00:18:40.099 --> 00:18:41.299
 the foremost question

00:18:41.299 --> 00:18:41.680
 when dealing

00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:43.559
 all these practical issues,

00:18:43.740 --> 00:18:45.539
 is can I do this

00:18:45.539 --> 00:18:46.899
 and glorify God

00:18:46.899 --> 00:18:48.299
 with my body?

00:18:50.419 --> 00:18:52.019
 Because sex is worship.

00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:54.859
 And it glorifies God.

00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.700
 And let me unpack,

00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:57.359
 how does it glorify God?

00:18:57.460 --> 00:18:58.500
 It glorifies Him

00:18:58.500 --> 00:18:59.680
 in a couple of ways.

00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:00.840
 And here,

00:19:01.320 --> 00:19:02.060
 I'm going to move on

00:19:02.060 --> 00:19:02.799
 to my next thing.

00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.799
 It glorifies it

00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:07.160
 when sex deepens intimacy.

00:19:08.360 --> 00:19:08.539
 Okay?

00:19:08.660 --> 00:19:09.720
 When sex deepens intimacy.

00:19:09.840 --> 00:19:10.580
 So sex is good,

00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:11.860
 sex is worship,

00:19:12.380 --> 00:19:13.200
 but that is expressed

00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.120
 in glorifying God

00:19:15.120 --> 00:19:16.539
 when it deepens intimacy.

00:19:17.700 --> 00:19:18.299
 Paul says,

00:19:18.299 --> 00:19:20.220
 do you know

00:19:20.220 --> 00:19:22.539
 that he who is joined

00:19:22.539 --> 00:19:23.579
 to a prostitute

00:19:23.579 --> 00:19:25.500
 becomes one body

00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:26.039
 with her?

00:19:26.700 --> 00:19:28.000
 For as it is written,

00:19:28.579 --> 00:19:29.220
 the two

00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:30.379
 will become

00:19:30.379 --> 00:19:31.559
 one flesh.

00:19:32.879 --> 00:19:33.559
 And that word

00:19:33.559 --> 00:19:34.200
 joined

00:19:34.200 --> 00:19:35.039
 actually means

00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:36.079
 glued together.

00:19:36.220 --> 00:19:36.940
 It's from Genesis

00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:38.099
 chapter 2.

00:19:38.419 --> 00:19:40.220
 In one flesh

00:19:40.220 --> 00:19:40.720
 union.

00:19:40.919 --> 00:19:41.839
 And Kevin explained

00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:42.319
 some of this

00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:43.059
 last week,

00:19:43.099 --> 00:19:43.980
 but let me reiterate.

00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:45.940
 One flesh

00:19:45.940 --> 00:19:47.259
 could be translated

00:19:47.259 --> 00:19:48.320
 a mingling

00:19:48.320 --> 00:19:49.320
 of souls.

00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:51.140
 It's a whole person

00:19:51.140 --> 00:19:52.740
 union of body,

00:19:53.259 --> 00:19:53.720
 mind,

00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:54.640
 spirit,

00:19:54.900 --> 00:19:55.960
 every part of you,

00:19:56.100 --> 00:19:56.480
 legally,

00:19:56.799 --> 00:19:57.440
 economically,

00:19:57.799 --> 00:19:58.880
 in every way,

00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:00.440
 united and bound together.

00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:04.299
 It's the place

00:20:04.299 --> 00:20:05.240
 where if you are

00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:06.080
 to be safe

00:20:06.080 --> 00:20:07.420
 and known

00:20:07.420 --> 00:20:08.820
 and loved

00:20:08.820 --> 00:20:09.779
 and naked

00:20:09.779 --> 00:20:10.900
 and unashamed,

00:20:10.900 --> 00:20:12.759
 then only

00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:13.540
 with someone

00:20:13.540 --> 00:20:14.560
 who has committed

00:20:14.560 --> 00:20:15.320
 their all

00:20:15.320 --> 00:20:15.940
 to you

00:20:15.940 --> 00:20:17.600
 in marriage

00:20:17.600 --> 00:20:18.680
 do you even

00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:19.920
 have the possibility

00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:21.000
 of that level

00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:21.720
 of security

00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:22.920
 and safety

00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:24.380
 for true intimacy

00:20:24.380 --> 00:20:26.060
 in that one

00:20:26.060 --> 00:20:27.240
 flesh union

00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:28.200
 where someone

00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:28.700
 has said,

00:20:28.940 --> 00:20:29.500
 all that I am

00:20:29.500 --> 00:20:30.340
 I give to you

00:20:30.340 --> 00:20:31.340
 and the other

00:20:31.340 --> 00:20:31.980
 has replied,

00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:32.180
 yes,

00:20:32.220 --> 00:20:32.940
 all that I am

00:20:32.940 --> 00:20:33.820
 I give to you.

00:20:35.500 --> 00:20:36.080
 You know,

00:20:36.120 --> 00:20:36.900
 if sex is actually

00:20:36.900 --> 00:20:37.680
 just physical,

00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:39.920
 why are rape

00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:40.820
 and sexual abuse

00:20:40.820 --> 00:20:41.799
 so devastating

00:20:41.799 --> 00:20:43.039
 to the whole person?

00:20:44.420 --> 00:20:45.200
 The reason is

00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:45.799
 because sex

00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:46.900
 isn't just physical.

00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:48.460
 It's a deeply

00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:49.580
 spiritual,

00:20:49.820 --> 00:20:51.840
 soul-embodying thing.

00:20:54.080 --> 00:20:54.500
 And so then

00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:55.840
 the greatest intimacy,

00:20:56.680 --> 00:20:57.960
 which is sex,

00:20:58.600 --> 00:20:59.580
 requires the greatest

00:20:59.580 --> 00:21:00.160
 commitment,

00:21:00.820 --> 00:21:01.880
 which is marriage.

00:21:02.940 --> 00:21:03.720
 And anything

00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:04.880
 outside of that

00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.259
 is like taking

00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:07.819
 a beautiful flower

00:21:07.819 --> 00:21:08.420
 petal

00:21:08.420 --> 00:21:10.019
 tearing out

00:21:10.019 --> 00:21:10.879
 of the stem

00:21:10.879 --> 00:21:12.059
 of the intimate

00:21:12.059 --> 00:21:13.220
 one flesh

00:21:13.220 --> 00:21:14.200
 relationship

00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:14.879
 from where

00:21:14.879 --> 00:21:15.379
 that is meant

00:21:15.379 --> 00:21:15.960
 to flourish.

00:21:16.859 --> 00:21:17.700
 And when you

00:21:17.700 --> 00:21:18.779
 take out a petal,

00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:20.079
 what happens?

00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:22.200
 It looks great

00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:22.819
 for a while

00:21:22.819 --> 00:21:24.579
 and then it

00:21:24.579 --> 00:21:25.059
 withers

00:21:25.059 --> 00:21:26.140
 and dies.

00:21:27.619 --> 00:21:28.000
 You know,

00:21:29.339 --> 00:21:30.299
 Cameron Diaz,

00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:31.759
 that well-known

00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:32.460
 theologian

00:21:32.460 --> 00:21:33.640
 in the movie

00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:34.460
 Vanilla Sky

00:21:34.460 --> 00:21:35.079
 says,

00:21:35.079 --> 00:21:37.000
 don't you realize

00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:37.740
 that when you

00:21:37.740 --> 00:21:38.679
 sleep with someone,

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:39.619
 your body

00:21:39.619 --> 00:21:40.679
 makes a promise

00:21:40.679 --> 00:21:42.159
 even if your

00:21:42.159 --> 00:21:43.199
 mind does not.

00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:45.359
 Your body

00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:46.139
 is saying,

00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:47.039
 I am

00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:47.740
 totally

00:21:47.740 --> 00:21:48.879
 yours.

00:21:49.659 --> 00:21:50.559
 And if that's

00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:51.460
 not the reality,

00:21:51.779 --> 00:21:53.000
 in a one flesh

00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:53.859
 marriage union,

00:21:54.119 --> 00:21:55.039
 you are taking

00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:55.879
 too much

00:21:55.879 --> 00:21:56.720
 and giving

00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:57.460
 too little.

00:21:59.299 --> 00:21:59.939
 You're doing

00:21:59.939 --> 00:22:00.500
 the act

00:22:00.500 --> 00:22:01.019
 but not the

00:22:01.019 --> 00:22:01.699
 all that I am

00:22:01.699 --> 00:22:02.500
 I give to you.

00:22:02.500 --> 00:22:03.759
 And that's

00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:04.380
 like gluing

00:22:04.380 --> 00:22:04.960
 two things

00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:05.259
 together

00:22:05.259 --> 00:22:05.680
 and then

00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:06.500
 tearing them

00:22:06.500 --> 00:22:06.880
 apart

00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:07.220
 and that's

00:22:07.220 --> 00:22:07.859
 always going

00:22:07.859 --> 00:22:08.720
 to rip

00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:09.319
 you apart

00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:10.079
 and research

00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:10.700
 shows that

00:22:10.700 --> 00:22:11.099
 with the amount

00:22:11.099 --> 00:22:11.599
 of shame,

00:22:12.039 --> 00:22:12.460
 regret,

00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:13.359
 anxiety

00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:15.059
 amongst sexually

00:22:15.059 --> 00:22:15.660
 promiscuous

00:22:15.660 --> 00:22:16.059
 people.

00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:16.799
 It's sinning

00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:17.319
 against your

00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:17.900
 own body.

00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:20.279
 But if that

00:22:20.279 --> 00:22:21.339
 promise is

00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:22.039
 a reality,

00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:23.640
 then when you

00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:24.279
 have sex

00:22:24.279 --> 00:22:24.619
 together,

00:22:24.619 --> 00:22:25.259
 it's like a

00:22:25.259 --> 00:22:26.359
 regular renewal

00:22:26.359 --> 00:22:27.119
 of your wedding

00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:27.660
 vows.

00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:29.040
 It's drawing

00:22:29.040 --> 00:22:29.880
 you deeper

00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:31.040
 into one

00:22:31.040 --> 00:22:32.019
 flesh union.

00:22:34.540 --> 00:22:35.200
 How are we

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:35.440
 doing?

00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:38.820
 What does

00:22:38.820 --> 00:22:39.259
 that mean?

00:22:40.900 --> 00:22:41.600
 If you're

00:22:41.600 --> 00:22:41.960
 married,

00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:42.519
 let me talk

00:22:42.519 --> 00:22:42.980
 to marriage,

00:22:44.300 --> 00:22:45.200
 prioritize

00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.019
 sex.

00:22:46.660 --> 00:22:47.259
 If you're

00:22:47.259 --> 00:22:47.480
 single,

00:22:47.580 --> 00:22:47.820
 that may

00:22:47.820 --> 00:22:48.259
 sound very

00:22:48.259 --> 00:22:48.920
 strange.

00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:50.080
 But there

00:22:50.080 --> 00:22:50.840
 are seasons

00:22:50.840 --> 00:22:51.380
 like when

00:22:51.380 --> 00:22:51.680
 you've got

00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:52.300
 young kids

00:22:52.300 --> 00:22:52.840
 and I know

00:22:52.840 --> 00:22:53.460
 about this,

00:22:53.860 --> 00:22:54.220
 or when

00:22:54.220 --> 00:22:55.019
 life is just

00:22:55.019 --> 00:22:55.420
 busy,

00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:56.340
 it can just

00:22:56.340 --> 00:22:56.880
 be hard.

00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:57.360
 You're

00:22:57.360 --> 00:22:57.820
 tired.

00:22:59.120 --> 00:22:59.580
 But scripture

00:22:59.580 --> 00:22:59.900
 says,

00:23:00.420 --> 00:23:01.200
 don't just

00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.360
 neglect it.

00:23:03.320 --> 00:23:04.140
 Plan it.

00:23:04.300 --> 00:23:04.560
 Give your

00:23:04.560 --> 00:23:05.260
 best time.

00:23:05.380 --> 00:23:06.160
 Get babysitters.

00:23:06.280 --> 00:23:06.600
 Get someone

00:23:06.600 --> 00:23:07.120
 from the church

00:23:07.120 --> 00:23:07.560
 to look after

00:23:07.560 --> 00:23:07.900
 your kids.

00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:08.320
 Whatever.

00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:10.260
 Because actually

00:23:10.260 --> 00:23:10.900
 it's about

00:23:10.900 --> 00:23:11.820
 strengthening

00:23:11.820 --> 00:23:12.800
 your relationship

00:23:12.800 --> 00:23:13.360
 together.

00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:14.260
 Don't neglect

00:23:14.260 --> 00:23:14.740
 it.

00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:16.740
 But also,

00:23:16.980 --> 00:23:17.320
 and here's

00:23:17.320 --> 00:23:18.220
 a key thing,

00:23:18.700 --> 00:23:19.660
 don't detach

00:23:19.660 --> 00:23:20.380
 the act

00:23:20.380 --> 00:23:21.200
 from one

00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:22.140
 flesh.

00:23:22.860 --> 00:23:23.100
 You know,

00:23:23.140 --> 00:23:23.400
 a former

00:23:23.400 --> 00:23:24.040
 pastor said

00:23:24.040 --> 00:23:24.420
 to me,

00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:25.780
 sex starts

00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:26.320
 at 8 o'clock

00:23:26.320 --> 00:23:26.840
 in the morning.

00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:27.380
 Well,

00:23:28.080 --> 00:23:28.900
 I looked at

00:23:28.900 --> 00:23:29.080
 him,

00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:29.620
 it's like,

00:23:29.860 --> 00:23:30.320
 wow.

00:23:30.740 --> 00:23:30.980
 Okay,

00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:32.040
 but by which

00:23:32.040 --> 00:23:32.600
 he meant

00:23:32.600 --> 00:23:32.980
 though,

00:23:33.600 --> 00:23:34.720
 that if you

00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:35.200
 think you

00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:35.540
 can be

00:23:35.540 --> 00:23:36.200
 emotionally

00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:36.760
 absent

00:23:36.760 --> 00:23:37.340
 during the

00:23:37.340 --> 00:23:37.660
 day,

00:23:38.900 --> 00:23:39.340
 and yet

00:23:39.340 --> 00:23:39.860
 still have

00:23:39.860 --> 00:23:40.240
 physical

00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.800
 intimacy

00:23:40.800 --> 00:23:41.480
 at night,

00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:42.420
 or if

00:23:42.420 --> 00:23:43.000
 your marriage

00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:43.400
 is filled

00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:44.040
 with blaming

00:23:44.040 --> 00:23:45.040
 and negative

00:23:45.040 --> 00:23:45.860
 put-downs

00:23:45.860 --> 00:23:46.140
 and an

00:23:46.140 --> 00:23:46.820
 unwillingness

00:23:46.820 --> 00:23:47.580
 to apologize,

00:23:48.140 --> 00:23:48.700
 don't think

00:23:48.700 --> 00:23:48.960
 you're going

00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:49.220
 to have a

00:23:49.220 --> 00:23:49.760
 great sex

00:23:49.760 --> 00:23:50.200
 life.

00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:51.720
 Your sex

00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:51.960
 will be

00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:52.319
 like a

00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:52.880
 petal

00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:53.539
 cut from

00:23:53.539 --> 00:23:54.180
 the stem,

00:23:55.059 --> 00:23:55.740
 a detached

00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:56.400
 act,

00:23:56.660 --> 00:23:57.480
 when actually

00:23:57.480 --> 00:23:58.600
 intimacy is

00:23:58.600 --> 00:23:59.120
 a whole

00:23:59.120 --> 00:23:59.799
 person

00:23:59.799 --> 00:24:00.500
 thing,

00:24:00.779 --> 00:24:01.579
 emotionally,

00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:02.880
 relationally,

00:24:02.980 --> 00:24:03.740
 in every

00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:04.180
 way.

00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:07.279
 It's about

00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:07.759
 intimacy.

00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:12.299
 Sex is about

00:24:12.299 --> 00:24:12.700
 worship.

00:24:13.700 --> 00:24:14.220
 It's about

00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:14.640
 intimacy.

00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:14.759
 intimacy.

00:24:15.180 --> 00:24:15.960
 It's about

00:24:15.960 --> 00:24:16.880
 also

00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:19.120
 self-giving,

00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:20.320
 okay,

00:24:20.380 --> 00:24:21.240
 or service.

00:24:23.120 --> 00:24:23.840
 This is one

00:24:23.840 --> 00:24:24.240
 I don't think

00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:24.800
 we think about

00:24:24.800 --> 00:24:25.280
 that often,

00:24:26.500 --> 00:24:28.460
 but this is

00:24:28.460 --> 00:24:28.900
 at the heart

00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:29.140
 of it.

00:24:31.020 --> 00:24:31.340
 You see,

00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:31.900
 Paul goes

00:24:31.900 --> 00:24:32.660
 down into

00:24:32.660 --> 00:24:33.800
 chapter 7

00:24:33.800 --> 00:24:34.280
 verse 1,

00:24:34.320 --> 00:24:34.600
 and he's

00:24:34.600 --> 00:24:35.160
 replying to

00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:35.900
 some questions

00:24:35.900 --> 00:24:36.280
 from the

00:24:36.280 --> 00:24:36.640
 Corinthians,

00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:39.020
 and he

00:24:39.020 --> 00:24:39.380
 says,

00:24:40.780 --> 00:24:41.460
 the husband

00:24:41.460 --> 00:24:43.060
 should give

00:24:43.060 --> 00:24:43.940
 to his wife

00:24:43.940 --> 00:24:44.240
 her

00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:44.740
 conjugal

00:24:44.740 --> 00:24:45.180
 rights.

00:24:45.299 --> 00:24:45.720
 That means

00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:47.779
 sexual rights.

00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:48.720
 And likewise

00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:49.279
 the wife

00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:49.559
 to her

00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:49.920
 husband.

00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:51.740
 For the

00:24:51.740 --> 00:24:52.180
 wife does

00:24:52.180 --> 00:24:52.519
 not have

00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:53.079
 authority

00:24:53.079 --> 00:24:53.620
 over her

00:24:53.620 --> 00:24:54.140
 own body,

00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:54.680
 but the

00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:55.400
 husband does.

00:24:57.180 --> 00:24:58.140
 And everyone

00:24:58.140 --> 00:24:59.039
 in Roman

00:24:59.039 --> 00:24:59.559
 culture would

00:24:59.559 --> 00:24:59.980
 have stopped

00:24:59.980 --> 00:25:00.319
 there.

00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:01.740
 Wives

00:25:01.740 --> 00:25:02.079
 give your

00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:02.700
 husband sex

00:25:02.700 --> 00:25:03.279
 on demand.

00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:04.099
 That was

00:25:04.099 --> 00:25:04.660
 the culture.

00:25:06.059 --> 00:25:06.759
 But Paul

00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:07.500
 says something

00:25:07.500 --> 00:25:08.559
 utterly radical

00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:09.440
 for his day.

00:25:10.019 --> 00:25:10.400
 He says,

00:25:10.539 --> 00:25:11.000
 likewise,

00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:12.120
 the husband

00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:13.000
 does not have

00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:13.880
 authority over

00:25:13.880 --> 00:25:14.300
 his own

00:25:14.300 --> 00:25:14.720
 body,

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:15.440
 but the

00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:16.180
 wife does.

00:25:17.140 --> 00:25:17.580
 Do you see

00:25:17.580 --> 00:25:17.920
 what he's

00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:18.280
 saying?

00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:19.780
 He's saying

00:25:19.780 --> 00:25:21.960
 sex is not

00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:22.940
 about domination

00:25:22.940 --> 00:25:23.860
 or just

00:25:23.860 --> 00:25:24.560
 about you.

00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:25.540
 Sex is about

00:25:25.540 --> 00:25:26.680
 mutual serving

00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:27.360
 and mutual

00:25:27.360 --> 00:25:28.520
 self-giving.

00:25:30.320 --> 00:25:31.120
 Our society

00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:31.720
 says it's your

00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:32.280
 body to do

00:25:32.280 --> 00:25:32.820
 what you want

00:25:32.820 --> 00:25:33.280
 with it,

00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:34.020
 and we end

00:25:34.020 --> 00:25:34.660
 up as users.

00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:35.880
 God says,

00:25:36.180 --> 00:25:36.660
 it's not your

00:25:36.660 --> 00:25:36.980
 body,

00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:37.840
 it's for me

00:25:37.840 --> 00:25:38.260
 and for the

00:25:38.260 --> 00:25:39.460
 worship of me,

00:25:39.600 --> 00:25:40.200
 and I want you

00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:40.880
 to give it

00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:42.300
 a lot of

00:25:42.300 --> 00:25:42.540
 service to

00:25:42.540 --> 00:25:43.400
 your spouse.

00:25:43.840 --> 00:25:44.240
 That's how

00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:44.580
 to be a

00:25:44.580 --> 00:25:44.800
 lover.

00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:48.160
 Judy Slattery,

00:25:48.280 --> 00:25:48.380
 who,

00:25:49.260 --> 00:25:49.780
 if you want to,

00:25:49.860 --> 00:25:50.240
 she's got a

00:25:50.240 --> 00:25:50.860
 great website

00:25:50.860 --> 00:25:51.800
 called Authentic

00:25:51.800 --> 00:25:52.440
 Intimacy,

00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:53.500
 I highly recommend

00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:53.680
 it,

00:25:53.780 --> 00:25:54.300
 deals with a lot

00:25:54.300 --> 00:25:54.800
 of issues

00:25:54.800 --> 00:25:55.380
 there.

00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:55.880
 She says

00:25:55.880 --> 00:25:56.280
 this,

00:25:57.420 --> 00:25:58.600
 sex is

00:25:58.600 --> 00:25:59.240
 designed to

00:25:59.240 --> 00:25:59.580
 be more

00:25:59.580 --> 00:25:59.900
 than an

00:25:59.900 --> 00:26:00.540
 expression of

00:26:00.540 --> 00:26:01.220
 love between

00:26:01.220 --> 00:26:01.660
 a husband

00:26:01.660 --> 00:26:02.320
 and wife.

00:26:03.280 --> 00:26:04.260
 It is also

00:26:04.260 --> 00:26:05.060
 the refining

00:26:05.060 --> 00:26:05.960
 fire of

00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:06.280
 love.

00:26:07.060 --> 00:26:07.960
 It tests

00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:09.019
 and teaches

00:26:09.019 --> 00:26:09.740
 a willing

00:26:09.740 --> 00:26:10.259
 man and

00:26:10.259 --> 00:26:11.539
 woman to

00:26:11.539 --> 00:26:12.460
 reach beyond

00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:13.279
 their natural

00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.819
 desires and

00:26:14.819 --> 00:26:15.860
 learn what

00:26:15.860 --> 00:26:17.000
 servant love

00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:18.380
 really is.

00:26:19.559 --> 00:26:20.559
 This is so

00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:21.100
 profound.

00:26:22.620 --> 00:26:23.059
 You know,

00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:24.519
 I have had

00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:26.140
 people in

00:26:26.140 --> 00:26:26.860
 church say,

00:26:27.539 --> 00:26:28.460
 my wife wants

00:26:28.460 --> 00:26:28.900
 it but I

00:26:28.900 --> 00:26:29.460
 don't want to

00:26:29.460 --> 00:26:29.980
 so I think

00:26:29.980 --> 00:26:30.660
 we should split

00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:31.120
 up because

00:26:31.120 --> 00:26:31.460
 we're not

00:26:31.460 --> 00:26:31.900
 compatible.

00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:34.340
 That is

00:26:34.340 --> 00:26:34.960
 insane.

00:26:35.840 --> 00:26:36.940
 Because sexual

00:26:36.940 --> 00:26:37.700
 compatibility

00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:38.980
 is a myth.

00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:40.259
 You know,

00:26:40.360 --> 00:26:41.019
 I don't know

00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:42.240
 any husband

00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:43.120
 and wife

00:26:43.120 --> 00:26:43.779
 who have

00:26:43.779 --> 00:26:45.080
 perfectly aligned

00:26:45.080 --> 00:26:45.920
 sex drives

00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:47.100
 in every season.

00:26:47.740 --> 00:26:48.240
 I've never

00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:48.759
 met one.

00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:50.559
 And you know,

00:26:50.680 --> 00:26:51.299
 this can be,

00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:51.539
 you know,

00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:53.660
 we desire

00:26:53.660 --> 00:26:54.240
 sex at

00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:55.019
 different times,

00:26:55.240 --> 00:26:55.940
 in different

00:26:55.940 --> 00:26:57.259
 ways and it

00:26:57.259 --> 00:26:58.240
 can be a

00:26:58.240 --> 00:26:59.120
 massive source

00:26:59.120 --> 00:26:59.900
 of frustration

00:26:59.900 --> 00:27:00.500
 and tension

00:27:00.500 --> 00:27:01.000
 in marriages.

00:27:02.420 --> 00:27:03.100
 Some of you

00:27:03.100 --> 00:27:03.720
 know this.

00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:05.340
 Again,

00:27:05.420 --> 00:27:05.700
 if you're

00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:06.039
 married,

00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:06.720
 let me ask

00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:06.940
 you,

00:27:07.700 --> 00:27:09.539
 how often

00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:10.039
 do you actually

00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:10.700
 talk about

00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:11.160
 sex,

00:27:11.620 --> 00:27:12.240
 your sex

00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:12.860
 life together?

00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:15.120
 What you enjoy

00:27:15.120 --> 00:27:15.519
 and what you

00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.140
 don't enjoy?

00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:17.519
 How you're

00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:18.140
 feeling at this

00:27:18.140 --> 00:27:18.519
 time?

00:27:19.539 --> 00:27:20.039
 Because let me

00:27:20.039 --> 00:27:20.600
 tell you,

00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:22.039
 from experience,

00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:24.039
 silence doesn't

00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:24.740
 lead to

00:27:24.740 --> 00:27:25.200
 intimacy.

00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:27.580
 Because how

00:27:27.580 --> 00:27:28.360
 do you know

00:27:28.360 --> 00:27:29.200
 how to truly

00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:30.240
 serve your

00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:31.220
 partner best

00:27:31.220 --> 00:27:32.380
 if you haven't

00:27:32.380 --> 00:27:33.319
 been talking to

00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:34.140
 them about it?

00:27:34.140 --> 00:27:36.560
 and instead

00:27:36.560 --> 00:27:37.580
 of withdrawing,

00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:38.520
 instead of

00:27:38.520 --> 00:27:39.100
 demanding,

00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:40.500
 start talking

00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:41.920
 and mutually

00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.080
 on both sides

00:27:43.080 --> 00:27:43.320
 going,

00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:44.300
 how can I

00:27:44.300 --> 00:27:45.460
 both serve

00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:45.820
 the other

00:27:45.820 --> 00:27:46.720
 person best

00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:47.580
 in this season?

00:27:48.700 --> 00:27:49.380
 And that

00:27:49.380 --> 00:27:50.480
 will cost you

00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:51.020
 at different

00:27:51.020 --> 00:27:51.680
 times.

00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:53.680
 But if both

00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:54.160
 of you are

00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:55.080
 doing that,

00:27:55.080 --> 00:27:56.340
 that is a

00:27:56.340 --> 00:27:56.820
 recipe

00:27:56.820 --> 00:27:59.140
 for deepening

00:27:59.140 --> 00:28:00.540
 sacrificial

00:28:00.539 --> 00:28:02.000
 love and

00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:02.819
 intimacy in

00:28:02.819 --> 00:28:03.539
 your relationship,

00:28:04.159 --> 00:28:07.159
 if you're

00:28:07.159 --> 00:28:07.599
 single,

00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:08.259
 okay,

00:28:08.339 --> 00:28:08.539
 you don't

00:28:08.539 --> 00:28:08.859
 get away

00:28:08.859 --> 00:28:09.379
 with this,

00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:12.379
 our sexualized

00:28:12.379 --> 00:28:14.500
 culture has

00:28:14.500 --> 00:28:15.359
 conditioned us

00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:15.940
 to believe,

00:28:16.099 --> 00:28:16.299
 do you know

00:28:16.299 --> 00:28:16.700
 the movie

00:28:16.700 --> 00:28:17.220
 When Harry

00:28:17.220 --> 00:28:17.819
 Met Sally?

00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:18.980
 It says,

00:28:19.539 --> 00:28:19.819
 men and

00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:20.359
 women can't

00:28:20.359 --> 00:28:20.839
 be friends

00:28:20.839 --> 00:28:21.359
 because the

00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:21.859
 sex gets

00:28:21.859 --> 00:28:22.399
 in the way.

00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:23.059
 Do you know

00:28:23.059 --> 00:28:23.379
 that one?

00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:24.859
 That's not

00:28:24.859 --> 00:28:25.200
 true.

00:28:26.619 --> 00:28:27.279
 That's just

00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:27.740
 the way our

00:28:27.740 --> 00:28:28.819
 culture thinks.

00:28:28.819 --> 00:28:30.779
 And so I

00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:31.059
 want to

00:28:31.059 --> 00:28:31.819
 challenge us

00:28:31.819 --> 00:28:32.460
 as singles

00:28:32.460 --> 00:28:33.179
 to think

00:28:33.179 --> 00:28:33.700
 how we

00:28:33.700 --> 00:28:34.480
 can develop

00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:35.480
 healthy,

00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:37.019
 appropriately

00:28:37.019 --> 00:28:37.819
 intimate,

00:28:38.339 --> 00:28:39.379
 non-sexual

00:28:39.379 --> 00:28:40.500
 friendships with

00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:41.059
 people of the

00:28:41.059 --> 00:28:41.859
 opposite gender.

00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:43.379
 Like,

00:28:43.679 --> 00:28:44.399
 girls and

00:28:44.399 --> 00:28:44.759
 guys,

00:28:44.919 --> 00:28:45.059
 like,

00:28:45.779 --> 00:28:46.279
 guys,

00:28:46.379 --> 00:28:46.500
 just,

00:28:46.980 --> 00:28:47.639
 let's start

00:28:47.639 --> 00:28:48.460
 talking about

00:28:48.460 --> 00:28:49.399
 how we can

00:28:49.399 --> 00:28:50.559
 serve the

00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:51.179
 women in

00:28:51.179 --> 00:28:51.599
 the church

00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:52.099
 so that they

00:28:52.099 --> 00:28:53.519
 flourish and

00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:54.240
 don't just feel

00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:54.700
 like we're all

00:28:54.700 --> 00:28:55.439
 out to get

00:28:55.439 --> 00:28:55.759
 them.

00:28:56.919 --> 00:28:57.279
 Girls,

00:28:57.399 --> 00:28:58.039
 how can you

00:28:58.039 --> 00:28:58.700
 serve the

00:28:58.700 --> 00:28:59.420
 guys in

00:28:59.420 --> 00:28:59.920
 the church

00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:00.819
 so that they

00:29:00.819 --> 00:29:01.680
 flourish as

00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.399
 brothers and

00:29:02.399 --> 00:29:02.839
 sisters,

00:29:03.099 --> 00:29:03.559
 not as

00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:04.839
 targets to

00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:06.019
 aim for or

00:29:06.019 --> 00:29:06.980
 threats to

00:29:06.980 --> 00:29:07.440
 avoid,

00:29:07.859 --> 00:29:08.259
 but as

00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:09.440
 people made

00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:09.879
 in the image

00:29:09.879 --> 00:29:10.399
 of God.

00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:12.339
 You know,

00:29:12.460 --> 00:29:13.259
 selfishness,

00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:13.879
 when we're

00:29:13.879 --> 00:29:14.819
 self-indulgent

00:29:14.819 --> 00:29:15.220
 with our

00:29:15.220 --> 00:29:16.220
 sexual desires,

00:29:16.359 --> 00:29:16.680
 whether in

00:29:16.680 --> 00:29:17.039
 porn,

00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:17.680
 whether in

00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:18.259
 masturbation,

00:29:18.339 --> 00:29:18.879
 in all kind

00:29:18.879 --> 00:29:19.740
 of fantasies,

00:29:20.379 --> 00:29:20.599
 do you know

00:29:20.599 --> 00:29:21.319
 when selfishness

00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:22.019
 is unmasked,

00:29:22.059 --> 00:29:22.859
 it isn't sexy.

00:29:24.099 --> 00:29:24.480
 Do you know

00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:24.899
 what's really

00:29:24.899 --> 00:29:25.339
 sexy?

00:29:25.339 --> 00:29:27.399
 It's somebody

00:29:27.399 --> 00:29:28.159
 who is willing

00:29:28.159 --> 00:29:28.779
 to lay down

00:29:28.779 --> 00:29:29.359
 their life for

00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:29.599
 you.

00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:31.019
 It's somebody

00:29:31.019 --> 00:29:31.740
 who loves you

00:29:31.740 --> 00:29:32.299
 at your best

00:29:32.299 --> 00:29:32.679
 and at your

00:29:32.679 --> 00:29:33.099
 worst.

00:29:33.740 --> 00:29:34.579
 And you learn

00:29:34.579 --> 00:29:35.099
 how to do

00:29:35.099 --> 00:29:35.519
 that even

00:29:35.519 --> 00:29:35.899
 when you're

00:29:35.899 --> 00:29:36.259
 single.

00:29:37.220 --> 00:29:37.619
 So guys,

00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:38.399
 grab lunch

00:29:38.399 --> 00:29:38.899
 together.

00:29:39.899 --> 00:29:40.079
 Like,

00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:41.159
 do it in

00:29:41.159 --> 00:29:41.619
 community.

00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:42.500
 Share with

00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:43.419
 older people,

00:29:43.619 --> 00:29:43.899
 like,

00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:44.899
 as safeguards

00:29:44.899 --> 00:29:45.419
 for your own

00:29:45.419 --> 00:29:46.119
 heart so you

00:29:46.119 --> 00:29:46.779
 don't go beyond

00:29:46.779 --> 00:29:47.279
 yourself.

00:29:47.939 --> 00:29:48.339
 But let's

00:29:48.339 --> 00:29:48.759
 learn how to

00:29:48.759 --> 00:29:49.139
 be brothers

00:29:49.139 --> 00:29:49.879
 and sisters

00:29:49.879 --> 00:29:50.740
 where the

00:29:50.740 --> 00:29:51.459
 other people

00:29:51.459 --> 00:29:52.059
 feel,

00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:52.779
 members of the

00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:53.459
 opposite sex

00:29:53.460 --> 00:29:54.779
 feel like

00:29:54.779 --> 00:29:55.460
 they're safe,

00:29:56.100 --> 00:29:56.500
 like they're

00:29:56.500 --> 00:29:56.980
 known and

00:29:56.980 --> 00:29:57.299
 like they're

00:29:57.299 --> 00:29:57.660
 loved.

00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:00.740
 Sex is

00:30:00.740 --> 00:30:01.019
 good.

00:30:02.579 --> 00:30:02.900
 Sex is

00:30:02.900 --> 00:30:03.279
 worship.

00:30:04.259 --> 00:30:04.600
 Sex is

00:30:04.600 --> 00:30:05.079
 intimacy.

00:30:05.700 --> 00:30:06.039
 And it's

00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:07.120
 also self-giving.

00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:09.960
 And all of

00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:10.759
 that's great.

00:30:12.460 --> 00:30:13.360
 Except there's

00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:14.120
 a key thing

00:30:14.120 --> 00:30:15.380
 that we all

00:30:15.380 --> 00:30:17.620
 know and we

00:30:17.620 --> 00:30:18.019
 all need to

00:30:18.019 --> 00:30:18.620
 recognize.

00:30:19.640 --> 00:30:20.240
 Sex is also

00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:22.039
 broken and it

00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:22.660
 needs healing.

00:30:23.460 --> 00:30:24.019
 In our

00:30:24.019 --> 00:30:24.539
 culture and

00:30:24.539 --> 00:30:25.079
 our lives.

00:30:25.740 --> 00:30:26.140
 And here is

00:30:26.140 --> 00:30:27.000
 my final point.

00:30:28.120 --> 00:30:28.660
 It's the

00:30:28.660 --> 00:30:29.220
 healing of

00:30:29.220 --> 00:30:29.600
 sex.

00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:32.680
 You see,

00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:34.579
 I was in a

00:30:34.579 --> 00:30:35.880
 church once and

00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:36.240
 one of the

00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:37.079
 leaders fell

00:30:37.079 --> 00:30:37.720
 into sexual

00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:38.140
 sin.

00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:40.539
 And you know,

00:30:40.620 --> 00:30:41.100
 sex isn't

00:30:41.100 --> 00:30:42.640
 private because

00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:43.680
 it was devastating

00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:44.180
 for the whole

00:30:44.180 --> 00:30:44.620
 community.

00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:46.440
 It wreaks

00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:47.140
 havoc on

00:30:47.140 --> 00:30:47.600
 everybody.

00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:50.079
 And Paul

00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:50.880
 says this,

00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:52.880
 and this is

00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:54.620
 in chapter

00:30:54.620 --> 00:30:55.660
 six, early

00:30:55.660 --> 00:30:55.880
 on.

00:30:55.980 --> 00:30:56.320
 He says,

00:30:56.440 --> 00:30:56.880
 don't be

00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:57.520
 deceived.

00:30:58.720 --> 00:30:59.160
 He says,

00:30:59.220 --> 00:30:59.680
 neither the

00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:00.520
 sexually immoral

00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:01.480
 nor the

00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:02.440
 idolatrous nor

00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:03.520
 adulterers will

00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:04.100
 inherit the

00:31:04.100 --> 00:31:04.580
 kingdom of

00:31:04.580 --> 00:31:04.960
 God.

00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:07.880
 Here's the

00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:08.460
 hard part.

00:31:09.620 --> 00:31:10.500
 He's saying,

00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:12.860
 ongoing,

00:31:14.060 --> 00:31:15.320
 unrepentant

00:31:15.320 --> 00:31:16.760
 sexual sin

00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:18.460
 is serious.

00:31:19.740 --> 00:31:20.559
 If you are

00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:21.460
 treating your

00:31:21.460 --> 00:31:22.420
 spouse like

00:31:22.420 --> 00:31:24.019
 crap, if you

00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:24.579
 are having an

00:31:24.579 --> 00:31:26.059
 affair, if you're

00:31:26.059 --> 00:31:26.920
 sleeping with your

00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:27.579
 girlfriend or

00:31:27.579 --> 00:31:28.519
 boyfriend and you

00:31:28.519 --> 00:31:29.519
 just don't care,

00:31:30.539 --> 00:31:31.700
 Paul says that

00:31:31.700 --> 00:31:32.779
 has got eternal

00:31:32.779 --> 00:31:34.819
 consequences in

00:31:34.819 --> 00:31:35.140
 hell.

00:31:36.220 --> 00:31:37.039
 It's serious.

00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.359
 So God says,

00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:39.319
 don't take it

00:31:39.319 --> 00:31:39.680
 lightly.

00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:41.319
 But there's an

00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:41.579
 offer.

00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:41.980
 He says,

00:31:42.059 --> 00:31:42.640
 repent.

00:31:43.299 --> 00:31:44.359
 Come back to

00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:44.599
 me.

00:31:44.879 --> 00:31:45.799
 Come into the

00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:46.099
 light.

00:31:46.099 --> 00:31:47.319
 Let an elder or

00:31:47.319 --> 00:31:47.939
 brother and

00:31:47.939 --> 00:31:49.359
 sister walk with

00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:50.099
 you to healing

00:31:50.099 --> 00:31:50.919
 before it's too

00:31:50.919 --> 00:31:51.379
 late.

00:31:52.659 --> 00:31:53.480
 Some of us need

00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:54.179
 to hear that.

00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:57.379
 But that's not

00:31:57.379 --> 00:31:58.139
 where he finishes,

00:31:58.359 --> 00:31:59.219
 where he lands.

00:32:00.839 --> 00:32:01.819
 Because even as

00:32:01.819 --> 00:32:02.579
 Christians, many

00:32:02.579 --> 00:32:04.759
 of us, we

00:32:04.759 --> 00:32:06.000
 struggle in all

00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:06.679
 kinds of ways.

00:32:07.980 --> 00:32:08.799
 And even if you

00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:09.419
 don't struggle,

00:32:09.500 --> 00:32:09.779
 you know, as

00:32:09.779 --> 00:32:10.659
 Christians we can be

00:32:10.659 --> 00:32:11.379
 great at thinking

00:32:11.379 --> 00:32:12.019
 if we're not doing

00:32:12.019 --> 00:32:12.759
 porn and we're not

00:32:12.759 --> 00:32:13.579
 committing adultery,

00:32:13.679 --> 00:32:14.359
 then we're sexual

00:32:14.359 --> 00:32:14.879
 saints.

00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:15.900
 And everybody

00:32:15.900 --> 00:32:16.520
 else is the

00:32:16.520 --> 00:32:17.060
 deviance.

00:32:19.180 --> 00:32:19.560
 But you know,

00:32:19.600 --> 00:32:20.140
 Jesus says,

00:32:20.220 --> 00:32:21.220
 sexual immorality,

00:32:21.980 --> 00:32:23.100
 doing sex outside

00:32:23.100 --> 00:32:24.000
 of God's design,

00:32:24.660 --> 00:32:26.480
 comes out of the

00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:28.380
 heart, out of a

00:32:28.380 --> 00:32:29.140
 self-focused,

00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:30.620
 self-gratifying,

00:32:30.820 --> 00:32:31.820
 idolatrous heart.

00:32:32.940 --> 00:32:33.880
 And who here

00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:34.740
 amongst us hasn't

00:32:34.740 --> 00:32:35.420
 taken a second

00:32:35.420 --> 00:32:35.760
 look?

00:32:36.300 --> 00:32:36.960
 Who hasn't

00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:37.740
 fantasized?

00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:38.680
 Who hasn't

00:32:38.680 --> 00:32:40.020
 objectified people

00:32:40.020 --> 00:32:41.620
 who are made in the

00:32:41.620 --> 00:32:42.340
 image of God?

00:32:42.339 --> 00:32:44.619
 God, which means

00:32:44.619 --> 00:32:45.319
 all of us are

00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:46.279
 sexual sinners in

00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:46.799
 some way.

00:32:48.259 --> 00:32:49.279
 And it also means

00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:49.799
 all of us are

00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:51.339
 sexual sufferers in

00:32:51.339 --> 00:32:52.799
 some way, some

00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:53.559
 more than others.

00:32:54.899 --> 00:32:55.899
 And to those of us

00:32:55.899 --> 00:32:56.599
 who are wrestling

00:32:56.599 --> 00:32:58.279
 with sin and you

00:32:58.279 --> 00:32:59.119
 just feel like you

00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:00.019
 can't beat it,

00:33:00.839 --> 00:33:01.659
 those of us who

00:33:01.659 --> 00:33:02.799
 are filled with

00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:04.500
 shame and guilt

00:33:04.500 --> 00:33:05.519
 from your past,

00:33:05.659 --> 00:33:06.619
 the decisions you've

00:33:06.619 --> 00:33:08.639
 made, those of you

00:33:08.639 --> 00:33:09.099
 who have actually

00:33:09.099 --> 00:33:10.980
 felt just used and

00:33:10.980 --> 00:33:12.259
 objectified by other

00:33:12.259 --> 00:33:14.360
 people, those of you

00:33:14.360 --> 00:33:16.120
 who feel lonely or

00:33:16.120 --> 00:33:18.259
 devalued or unwanted,

00:33:19.740 --> 00:33:21.500
 Paul says this, he

00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.360
 says, to the

00:33:23.360 --> 00:33:25.640
 sinners, such were

00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:27.339
 some of you, but you

00:33:27.339 --> 00:33:29.420
 were washed, you

00:33:29.420 --> 00:33:31.460
 were sanctified, you

00:33:31.460 --> 00:33:33.319
 were justified in the

00:33:33.319 --> 00:33:34.279
 name of the Lord Jesus

00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:35.220
 Christ and by the

00:33:35.220 --> 00:33:36.160
 Spirit of our God.

00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:38.320
 God, what he's

00:33:38.320 --> 00:33:39.560
 saying is this, he's

00:33:39.560 --> 00:33:40.140
 saying when you run

00:33:40.140 --> 00:33:41.400
 to Jesus in repentance

00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:43.840
 for sin or to Jesus

00:33:43.840 --> 00:33:44.940
 for healing where

00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:47.960
 there's hurt, Jesus

00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:48.980
 doesn't condemn you.

00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:51.160
 He doesn't say you've

00:33:51.160 --> 00:33:52.960
 gone too far for me,

00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:54.779
 you're too messy for

00:33:54.779 --> 00:33:55.100
 me.

00:33:56.080 --> 00:33:58.180
 He says through my

00:33:58.180 --> 00:33:59.759
 blood I've washed you,

00:34:00.320 --> 00:34:01.620
 I've made you holy,

00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:03.860
 you're acceptable,

00:34:03.859 --> 00:34:06.339
 you're mine.

00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:08.779
 Your shame is

00:34:08.779 --> 00:34:09.799
 cleansed, your guilt

00:34:09.799 --> 00:34:10.980
 is forgiven, your

00:34:10.980 --> 00:34:12.599
 purity is restored by

00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:13.679
 the holiness of

00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:14.139
 Christ.

00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:15.920
 You are not soiled

00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:16.639
 space, you're not

00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:18.159
 damaged space, you are

00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:20.099
 sacred space if you

00:34:20.099 --> 00:34:20.980
 trusted in me.

00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:23.839
 Because no matter how

00:34:23.839 --> 00:34:24.759
 anyone else has

00:34:24.759 --> 00:34:26.599
 treated you, you have a

00:34:26.599 --> 00:34:27.599
 heavenly husband.

00:34:28.819 --> 00:34:30.539
 You're taken by the

00:34:30.539 --> 00:34:31.480
 King of Kings and the

00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:32.119
 Lord of Lords.

00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:34.380
 He dwells in you.

00:34:35.699 --> 00:34:36.619
 You know, a diamond

00:34:36.619 --> 00:34:38.299
 bought for a billion

00:34:38.299 --> 00:34:40.179
 dollars is not passed

00:34:40.179 --> 00:34:41.239
 around like a paper

00:34:41.239 --> 00:34:41.779
 bag.

00:34:42.039 --> 00:34:43.500
 It's treated with the

00:34:43.500 --> 00:34:44.559
 highest care.

00:34:45.819 --> 00:34:46.759
 And if you are a

00:34:46.759 --> 00:34:47.799
 believer in Christ,

00:34:48.219 --> 00:34:49.819
 you've been bought with

00:34:49.819 --> 00:34:50.619
 something way more

00:34:50.619 --> 00:34:51.039
 precious.

00:34:51.579 --> 00:34:52.440
 You've been bought with

00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:53.519
 the blood of the

00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:54.779
 eternal God of Jesus

00:34:54.779 --> 00:34:55.699
 Christ himself.

00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:57.980
 He's taken up

00:34:57.980 --> 00:34:59.179
 residence in you.

00:34:59.239 --> 00:34:59.759
 And what does that

00:34:59.759 --> 00:35:00.119
 mean?

00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:01.579
 That means you're

00:35:01.579 --> 00:35:02.199
 priceless.

00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:05.839
 Holy.

00:35:06.839 --> 00:35:07.319
 Glorious.

00:35:09.819 --> 00:35:11.079
 And so he says, if

00:35:11.079 --> 00:35:13.900
 that is true, don't

00:35:13.900 --> 00:35:16.199
 cheapen yourself in any

00:35:16.199 --> 00:35:18.519
 way than anything less

00:35:18.519 --> 00:35:19.920
 than the glorious

00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:21.460
 freeing vision God has

00:35:21.460 --> 00:35:22.480
 for your sex life.

00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:22.579
 love.

00:35:24.679 --> 00:35:25.940
 I know of a guy, and

00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:28.119
 I'll finish here.

00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:29.519
 I know of a guy, a

00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:30.300
 boss who went on a

00:35:30.300 --> 00:35:32.280
 business trip with his

00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:32.699
 team.

00:35:33.400 --> 00:35:34.639
 And he came back to his

00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:37.019
 hotel room to find that

00:35:37.019 --> 00:35:38.199
 one of his young,

00:35:38.340 --> 00:35:39.760
 attractive female members

00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:41.380
 of staff was there in

00:35:41.380 --> 00:35:43.860
 the room and acting and

00:35:43.860 --> 00:35:45.039
 dressing extremely

00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:46.219
 provocatively and

00:35:46.219 --> 00:35:47.280
 propositioning him.

00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:50.960
 And he looked at her

00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:53.420
 and he said, no, I

00:35:53.420 --> 00:35:54.040
 will not.

00:35:55.720 --> 00:35:56.720
 And she looked

00:35:56.720 --> 00:35:57.720
 astonished.

00:35:58.600 --> 00:35:59.160
 And do you know what

00:35:59.160 --> 00:35:59.540
 she said?

00:35:59.620 --> 00:36:01.680
 She replied, she

00:36:01.680 --> 00:36:03.519
 said, I've never met a

00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:04.780
 boss who turned me down

00:36:04.780 --> 00:36:05.200
 before.

00:36:06.660 --> 00:36:07.700
 And then she broke

00:36:07.700 --> 00:36:08.100
 down.

00:36:08.780 --> 00:36:09.900
 And she said this, she

00:36:09.900 --> 00:36:12.000
 said, I was taken

00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:13.680
 advantage of sexually when

00:36:13.680 --> 00:36:14.160
 I was young.

00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:15.799
 And I've always seen

00:36:15.799 --> 00:36:16.799
 myself as damaged

00:36:16.799 --> 00:36:17.299
 goods.

00:36:18.559 --> 00:36:19.639
 And my body was just

00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:20.899
 being used as a tool to

00:36:20.899 --> 00:36:22.099
 get love, to get

00:36:22.099 --> 00:36:23.299
 attention, to get the

00:36:23.299 --> 00:36:24.399
 benefits that I wanted

00:36:24.399 --> 00:36:24.980
 in life.

00:36:26.500 --> 00:36:27.319
 And then she said, why

00:36:27.319 --> 00:36:28.179
 are you so different

00:36:28.179 --> 00:36:29.000
 from all the others?

00:36:30.579 --> 00:36:31.500
 And he said, I'm a

00:36:31.500 --> 00:36:31.859
 Christian.

00:36:32.899 --> 00:36:34.179
 And I believe that you

00:36:34.179 --> 00:36:35.960
 are dearly loved by God,

00:36:36.460 --> 00:36:37.500
 which means you are too

00:36:37.500 --> 00:36:39.199
 valuable for me to use

00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:40.940
 just to satisfy my own

00:36:40.940 --> 00:36:41.940
 desires for now.

00:36:43.059 --> 00:36:44.039
 And she went,

00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:46.219
 how can I know this

00:36:46.219 --> 00:36:46.559
 God?

00:36:48.219 --> 00:36:50.480
 And that began a road

00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:51.879
 of healing for her.

00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:57.379
 You see, that healing

00:36:57.379 --> 00:37:00.599
 for broken people takes

00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:03.000
 place when we come to

00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:04.379
 know Christ, but also

00:37:04.379 --> 00:37:05.239
 when we come into a

00:37:05.239 --> 00:37:07.599
 community which models

00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:10.019
 not judgment, but love

00:37:10.019 --> 00:37:12.279
 and safety for broken

00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:12.740
 people.

00:37:13.700 --> 00:37:15.019
 Where the security in

00:37:15.019 --> 00:37:16.019
 Christ means we can

00:37:16.019 --> 00:37:17.680
 walk honestly with each

00:37:17.680 --> 00:37:18.780
 other in all of our

00:37:18.780 --> 00:37:19.760
 sexual struggles.

00:37:20.660 --> 00:37:22.420
 Where singles and

00:37:22.420 --> 00:37:23.880
 brothers are brothers and

00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:26.320
 sisters looking out for

00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:27.100
 each other and where

00:37:27.100 --> 00:37:28.360
 romantic feelings are

00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:29.920
 developed, we don't just

00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:31.019
 jump on them straight

00:37:31.019 --> 00:37:32.300
 away, but we go to

00:37:32.300 --> 00:37:33.700
 older people to give us

00:37:33.700 --> 00:37:34.940
 wisdom and walk through

00:37:34.940 --> 00:37:36.960
 so that we love people

00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:37.440
 well.

00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:40.179
 And where there's a place

00:37:40.179 --> 00:37:41.420
 of healing intimacy

00:37:41.420 --> 00:37:43.039
 where people can truly be

00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:45.480
 safe and known and

00:37:45.480 --> 00:37:47.380
 loved without always

00:37:47.380 --> 00:37:48.320
 wondering what else is

00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:49.179
 going on behind the

00:37:49.179 --> 00:37:49.559
 scenes.

00:37:50.679 --> 00:37:52.500
 It's a gospel witness to

00:37:52.500 --> 00:37:52.900
 people.

00:37:55.420 --> 00:37:56.840
 And that's my prayer that

00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:57.860
 we become this kind of

00:37:57.860 --> 00:37:58.300
 community.

00:37:58.300 --> 00:38:01.420
 But the very last thing

00:38:01.420 --> 00:38:06.860
 we need to say, with

00:38:06.860 --> 00:38:10.380
 all of this vision, human

00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:11.740
 beings will always let you

00:38:11.740 --> 00:38:12.060
 down.

00:38:13.900 --> 00:38:15.660
 Sex will always disappoint

00:38:15.660 --> 00:38:16.060
 you.

00:38:17.260 --> 00:38:18.800
 You know, our wedding

00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:20.100
 night wasn't exactly the

00:38:20.100 --> 00:38:21.200
 way things work out in the

00:38:21.200 --> 00:38:21.640
 movies.

00:38:22.660 --> 00:38:24.220
 Our sexual desires will not

00:38:24.220 --> 00:38:25.500
 always be met, whether you

00:38:25.500 --> 00:38:27.039
 are single or married.

00:38:28.780 --> 00:38:30.719
 But the disappointment of

00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:33.739
 sex is designed to lead

00:38:33.739 --> 00:38:36.360
 you and point you to the

00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:37.980
 place where all our

00:38:37.980 --> 00:38:39.559
 desires are ultimately to

00:38:39.559 --> 00:38:40.619
 be fulfilled in our

00:38:40.619 --> 00:38:42.079
 heavenly husband, Christ,

00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:46.099
 who is not self-centered,

00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:47.420
 but he has sacrificed

00:38:47.420 --> 00:38:49.960
 everything for us to be

00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:51.139
 intimate with us.

00:38:52.820 --> 00:38:54.380
 Someone once said, he who

00:38:54.380 --> 00:38:55.860
 rings the brothel bell is

00:38:55.860 --> 00:38:56.880
 looking for God.

00:38:57.900 --> 00:38:59.500
 We're looking for one who

00:38:59.500 --> 00:39:00.940
 takes leftover men and

00:39:00.940 --> 00:39:02.660
 women, who takes broken,

00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:04.720
 sinful men and women, who

00:39:04.720 --> 00:39:06.420
 takes shamed and suffering

00:39:06.420 --> 00:39:07.180
 men and women.

00:39:08.180 --> 00:39:09.860
 And he says, come to me,

00:39:10.640 --> 00:39:13.640
 because with me, like there's

00:39:13.640 --> 00:39:14.700
 nowhere else on this

00:39:14.700 --> 00:39:16.559
 planet, you can be utterly

00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:19.360
 safe, utterly known, and

00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:20.460
 utterly loved.

00:39:22.180 --> 00:39:23.360
 Because he knows your

00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:24.160
 deepest thoughts.

00:39:24.380 --> 00:39:25.860
 He knows your darkest

00:39:25.860 --> 00:39:26.500
 secrets.

00:39:27.579 --> 00:39:28.840
 And yet he gave himself

00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:30.119
 entirely for you.

00:39:30.680 --> 00:39:32.480
 He's the only one who's

00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:34.340
 ever been fully faithful to

00:39:34.340 --> 00:39:35.119
 that promise.

00:39:35.780 --> 00:39:38.220
 All that I have, all that I

00:39:38.220 --> 00:39:40.099
 have, I give to you.

00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:43.119
 And because of that, he

00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:44.519
 calls us to come and

00:39:44.519 --> 00:39:46.760
 worship him with our bodies.

00:39:47.720 --> 00:39:48.800
 And that is the place of

00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:50.579
 freedom and healing.

00:39:50.579 --> 00:39:55.239
 God, let's just take a minute.

00:40:06.739 --> 00:40:07.980
 I want you just to take a

00:40:07.980 --> 00:40:09.639
 minute to actually think, what

00:40:09.639 --> 00:40:10.719
 is God trying to say to you

00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:11.159
 right now?

00:40:11.159 --> 00:40:15.619
 God, let's just take a minute to

00:40:15.619 --> 00:40:16.159
 run.

00:40:16.159 --> 00:40:17.119
 I want you to take a minute to

00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:17.319
 run.

00:40:17.319 --> 00:40:18.420
 Where do you need to run to

00:40:18.420 --> 00:40:19.440
 Jesus right now?

00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:22.839
 I'm going to invite the band to

00:40:22.839 --> 00:40:24.699
 come up and play.

00:40:25.039 --> 00:40:27.159
 But don't rush from this moment

00:40:27.159 --> 00:40:28.819
 because God actually wants to do

00:40:28.819 --> 00:40:29.839
 a work in you.

00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:38.420
 Some of us have got a lot of

00:40:38.420 --> 00:40:41.100
 shame and a lot of guilt in

00:40:41.100 --> 00:40:41.660
 our lives.

00:40:44.780 --> 00:40:46.100
 And you wonder whether you can

00:40:46.100 --> 00:40:47.460
 ever fully be cleansed from

00:40:47.460 --> 00:40:47.680
 it.

00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:52.600
 And Jesus wants you to run to

00:40:52.600 --> 00:40:55.340
 him today because he says, oh,

00:40:55.400 --> 00:40:57.120
 my grace is sufficient for you.

00:40:57.119 --> 00:41:02.219
 Some of you are in ongoing

00:41:02.219 --> 00:41:02.739
 sin.

00:41:04.699 --> 00:41:06.239
 And God's calling you today,

00:41:06.359 --> 00:41:07.739
 don't wait another minute to

00:41:07.739 --> 00:41:09.980
 actually repent and come back

00:41:09.980 --> 00:41:10.440
 to me.

00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:13.759
 And go and tell someone today

00:41:13.759 --> 00:41:16.079
 about this so they can walk

00:41:16.079 --> 00:41:16.519
 with you.

00:41:19.819 --> 00:41:21.199
 Some of you just need to know

00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:22.639
 that you are truly loved and

00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:23.380
 truly valuable.

00:41:24.699 --> 00:41:26.380
 And to praise God for the way

00:41:26.380 --> 00:41:27.320
 he sees you.

00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:44.099
 So just pray before God

00:41:44.099 --> 00:41:44.640
 right now.

00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:59.639
 Father I believe there are some people

00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:01.579
 who need your real healing today

00:42:01.579 --> 00:42:06.739
 would you show them

00:42:06.739 --> 00:42:10.239
 that you are not like all the other men or women

00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:11.799
 that they may have experienced

00:42:11.800 --> 00:42:14.760
 that you are the greatest lover

00:42:14.760 --> 00:42:16.660
 the faithful lover

00:42:16.660 --> 00:42:19.480
 Lord I pray that you administer your healing power today

00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:25.960
 I pray Father that you would give us as a church

00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:28.200
 a newfound confidence and backbone

00:42:28.200 --> 00:42:30.940
 not embarrassment about what you say about sex

00:42:30.940 --> 00:42:33.000
 but an utter confidence

00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:36.220
 that what you say is the way things are

00:42:36.220 --> 00:42:39.340
 and you know the way that we should live in freedom

00:42:39.340 --> 00:42:41.920
 Lord I pray give us that courage as a church

00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:46.519
 I pray teach us how to love

00:42:46.519 --> 00:42:49.320
 teach us how to love

00:42:49.320 --> 00:42:51.780
 teach us how to love

00:42:51.780 --> 00:42:56.559
 in Jesus name

00:42:56.559 --> 00:42:58.539
 Amen