WEBVTT

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 All right, good morning everyone.

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 Hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

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 And we are back to our class on gender and sexuality and dealing with a challenging topic

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 this morning.

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 So just to set the background, if you haven't been in this class, we have considered God's

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 design for our bodies and for us being male and female and for how we relate to each other

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 and for what God's design is for gender and sexuality in the context of the Christian story,

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 right?

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 That we're created by God, yet we're fallen and corrupted by sin and Christ has come to

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 redeem us.

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 And we live in between, so we live sort of in between three parts of the, well, in all

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 parts of the story, right, because we are made by God and that's still true that we're

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 made in his image.

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 And yet we are still, we still experience the effects of sin and the indwelling sin, even

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 as believers.

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 But Christ has forgiven us and set us free and begun to sanctify us, begun to make us more

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 like Christ, and yet we look forward to that hope of glory.

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 And so this whole class is how do we live, how do we face the challenging realities of

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 this complicated, confusing, sometimes dark world?

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 So we have considered homosexuality, we've considered transgender identity.

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 Today we will address pornography, and next week we will address sexual abuse and assault.

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 These are not easy topics to teach on.

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 This was not an easy lesson to prepare.

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 But I think it's important for the church to address for several reasons.

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 We, you know, I think the topics we've previously addressed, the church needs to speak to the

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 questions that we spoke to earlier in November about homosexuality and transgender identity,

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 or sort of rejecting one's God-given maleness or femaleness because, partly because, those sins

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 are increasingly celebrated in our society.

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 And even though they are rejecting God's good and beautiful design for us.

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 But pornography is a far more prevalent phenomenon.

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 The percentages are far larger.

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 And I think if the church only addresses things like homosexuality and transgender identity and

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 remain silent about pornography or about sexual abuse and assault, I think people could rightly

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 look at the church and say, aren't you being a little hypocritical here?

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 Because aren't there more of your members who are addicted to pornography or engaging in

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 pornography than engaging in the previous two topics?

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 So, but even more, even more than sort of avoiding the charge of hypocrisy, I think we need to

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 care for one another, right?

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 And we need to talk about hard topics that affect us.

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 Many believers are engaged in, tempted by, exploited by, or otherwise harmed by this sin.

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 But, I want, as we go through this lesson, I want to keep in mind what Paul says in Ephesians 5.

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 He says, take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

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 And then, in the next verse, he says, for it is shameful even to speak of the things that

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 they do in secret.

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 So, Paul says two things.

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 We're to expose that is sort of clearly point out and frankly warn against the pervasiveness

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 of pornography and its harmful effects.

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 And at the same time, we want to avoid sort of speaking of the things that people do in

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 secret, right?

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 Giving unnecessary details that would stir up ungodly curiosity or ungodly imaginations or

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 shame.

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 So, before I go on, let me pray for us that the Lord would help us to do these things.

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 Father, we thank you for this morning and we thank you for how you speak to us in your

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 word and how you are frank and truthful and honest with us.

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 We thank you, Lord, for how your word calls a spade a spade and calls sin what it is.

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 And yet, we thank you for the hope that we have in Christ.

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 We thank you for the hope of forgiveness, the promise of forgiveness of our sins, the hope

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 of being released from the power of sin through the power of the Holy Spirit coming to dwell

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 in us.

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 We thank you, Lord, for the hope of healing from our brokenness that we look forward to

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 experiencing in full when we see you face to face, but that we can experience in part

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 now.

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 We pray that you'd help us as we look at this challenging topic.

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 Lord, we pray that you would help us to be edified and equipped by this lesson.

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 In Jesus' name we pray.

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 Amen.

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 Okay, so I want to look at this under a few headings.

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 First, what is pornography?

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 And where does the Bible speak to it, right?

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 The Bible obviously doesn't use the word pornography.

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 But first, what is it?

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 Second, a little bit about the history of it and sort of current pervasiveness of it.

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 Third, the effects of pornography.

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 And fourth, sort of more practically, what does mercy and hope and healing look like through

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 Christ for different groups of people who are affected by it in different ways.

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 So defining pornography, legal scholars have sort of debated this.

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 There was a famous Supreme Court ruling where the Supreme Court justice said, I don't really

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 have a definition for it, but I know it when I see it.

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 Okay, fair enough.

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 But I think there actually is a helpful definition from a Christian standpoint.

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 Right.

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 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners

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 in order to display them deliberately to third parties.

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 And I think that definition is helpful because it reminds us of God's design for sexual intimacy,

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 that it be shared and delighted in by husband and wife within the safety and exclusivity of

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 the marriage covenant.

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 So if you look at Song of Songs, the imagery of Song of Songs confirms that in some of the

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 imagery that's used of the husband and wife's bodies, right?

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 They're represented as a locked garden, a walled city, or my own vineyard not to be shared with

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 others, right?

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 So those are some images that Song of Songs uses for sort of godly sexual intimacy between

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 husband and wife.

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 And it's sort of in this safe, secure, contained, covenantal relationship not to be put on display

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 before others.

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 So I think by removing sexual acts from their proper context and putting them on display

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 before the world, pornography inherently violates God's good design for marriage and sexuality.

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 So I think it's not only sort of the subjective effects of pornography that are problematic,

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 like pornography, you know, sometimes Christians start with pornography saying pornography stirs

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 up lust, that's why it's wrong.

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 True, that's very true.

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 But I think inherently in sort of taking sexual intimacy out of that safe and secure context

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 of a covenantal marriage, that's already violating God's good design.

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 Even regardless of the effects it has on other people, right?

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 And then those effects sort of carry that violation even further.

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 So it says it offends against chastity because it perverts the intimate giving of spouses

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 to each other.

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 It injures the dignity of its participants since each one becomes an object of base pleasure

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 and illicit profit for others.

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 It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world.

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 We'll look at more of that in some of the part three in the effects of pornography.

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 Now, let me take a moment to speak to the issue of masturbation because that normally goes

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 along with pornography.

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 Again, the practice of masturbation or self-simulation promotes an inherently self-centered approach

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 to sexual gratification, which again, what's God's design for sexual pleasure and sexual

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 union?

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 Well, it involves two people and involves a husband and wife who are biologically different

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 from one another, right?

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 And yet are being united together as a picture of the union of Christ and his people being

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 united together forever, right?

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 That's God's design.

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 But masturbation doesn't train or prepare anyone to exercise sexual self-control or to prioritize

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 love for one's spouse even above one's own desires.

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 It doesn't promote a vision of sexual gratification that involves another person and that involves

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 sort of loving and prioritizing and valuing another person who is different than yourself,

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 right?

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 So again, there's something where there's not one biblical verse that you can quote that

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 says, do not, thou shalt not masturbate.

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 But if you think about what is it, it is, again, sort of stepping outside of God's design

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 sort of by removing sexual intimacy from the relationship of a husband and wife whose bodies,

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 lives, and resources all belong to each other.

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 And it's sort of isolating it and putting it in this sort of secret and self-centered place.

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 So how does the New Testament speak to these things?

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 Well, the New Testament warns consistently, clearly, and strongly against stirring up lust

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 and engaging in impurity.

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 So we see that in Jesus' teaching in the Sermon on the Mount.

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 Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

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 Lustful intent is the ESV translation.

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 The idea there is that one could be tempted.

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 Temptation is not sin.

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 But lustful intent is sort of carrying, sort of, you know, staying there or taking that a step further, right?

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 It's sort of engaging in that lust instead of sort of resisting it and fixing our eyes on Christ.

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 Paul's teaching sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you.

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 Paul frequently lists impurity or sensuality along with sexual immorality in several places in his letters.

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 Sexual immorality primarily refers to sexual acts with another person.

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 But impurity and sensuality refer to a wider range of thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors

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 and would include engaging in pornography or masturbation.

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 So that's sort of the big picture of what it is and sort of how the Bible speaks to it generally.

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 Now, a little bit about the history and pervasiveness of current pervasiveness of pornography.

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 The English word pornography is derived from the Greek word pornea, which is translated sexual immorality.

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 That's the word Paul uses.

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 And graphe, which is to write down or to depict something.

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 And it's not an exclusively modern phenomenon.

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 Sexually explicit paintings, sculptures, and writings were produced in all kinds of ancient societies thousands of years ago.

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 So in ancient Rome, around the time the New Testament was written, when Paul was writing his letter to the Romans,

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 these sort of erotic depictions were prominently displayed in pagan temples on the streets.

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 They were literally like advertisements indicating the way to the prostitution district.

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 Sort of graphic billboards, as you might think.

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 In the public baths, often sort of as a form of comic entertainment.

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 And in homes, right?

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 Sometimes as a decoration or good luck charms.

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 You'd walk into somebody's house, and you might see this sort of pretty graphic picture, painting, or whatever.

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 So ours is not the first society where sexually explicit material seems to be almost everywhere.

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 The world of the New Testament, Rome, Corinth especially, Paul was writing to people in societies, in some ways like our own, right?

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 Who were sort of, it's all around you.

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 It's in the water.

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 I think the major difference today is the internet.

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 Before the internet, yes, magazines, but the internet has made pornography more easily, widely, and privately accessible than ever before.

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 And just some statistics here.

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 If you're not familiar with these statistics, they can be pretty staggering.

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 30% of data transferred on the internet is pornography.

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 Pornography sites get more visits each month than Amazon, Netflix, and Twitter combined.

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 Consumers spend $260 million each day on online pornography, even though there is so much that is available for free that you would think,

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 why would anyone pay for it?

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 But huge amounts of money.

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 Are spent.

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 And the amount of users is increasing from 2006 to 2016.

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 It went from about 58 million Americans visiting porn sites each month to 107 million.

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 And there's only 285 million Americans.

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 I put age 10 and above.

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 So that's a solid 40%.

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 Is that right?

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 Yes.

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 Women are increasingly consumers of pornography as well.

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 Approximately 80% of the consumers of Fifty Shades of Grey were women.

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 According to Covenant Eyes, 64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women admit to watching pornography at least once a month.

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 Now, there are lots of surveys out there.

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 You'll find different statistics.

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 Some might be minimizing.

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 Some might be over-inflating.

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 I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, anyway, this, this statistic is somewhere in the middle.

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 Um, the percentages tend to be higher with, among younger people.

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 Um, but it's pretty pervasive.

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 Um, so, uh, how do we interpret that?

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 Well, the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 1, uh, I think a sobering passage that is relevant to this and, and, and other things.

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 So, he wrote, claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

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 All right, now Paul's talking about ancient forms of idolatry, but does it not apply to images resembling mortal man?

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 And then, what does it say?

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 Um, therefore God gave them up in the lust of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,

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 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the creator.

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 So, Romans 1 would indicate that the increasing pervasiveness of pornography, as well as all the other sexual sins that we've discussed in this class,

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 is a sobering sign of God's wrath against our society.

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 That is God giving us over to our own corrupt inclinations and their destructive consequences,

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 because we've chosen to worship ourselves and other created things.

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 That's a sobering reality if we take that seriously.

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 I don't think we take that seriously enough.

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 The effects of pornography.

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 I want to talk, sort of, how does pornography sort of affect our relationships in particular?

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 Um, uh, the effects of pornography are increasingly recognized even by people outside the church.

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 Um, this section I've taken from an article by a Christian counselor, uh, and he, that I thought was quite insightful.

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 He describes six relational attitudes that pornography commonly fosters, especially in habitual users.

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 And each of these qualities is also confirmed by scientific studies.

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 Uh, many of these, uh, there's a, there's, um, uh, a website called Fight the New Drug, uh, which basically talks about, um,

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 and the new drug is pornography, um, that's talking about.

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 Um, and it has a lot of, sort of, scientific and research-based information about, um, the effects of pornography.

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 And so, uh, here are six, um, uh, sort of attitudes that pornography fosters, uh, according, uh, both according to this Christian counselor

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 and according to, uh, some of these scientific studies.

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 Uh, first, um, a, a desire to control, right?

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 Again, uh, pornography does not foster, uh, sort of an actual relationship with another person who will talk back to you,

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 um, uh, uh, or, or sort of have a, have a back-and-forth conversation.

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 Pornography is a non-mutual relationship alone with imagery.

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 There's no one else to satisfy, no one else to consider.

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 You get to control the entire scene.

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 And this fosters or creates an innate selfishness and an unconscious desire for absolute control over intimate relationship.

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 Uh, a scientific study found that pornography use correlated with narcissism, right?

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 Uh, narcissism or sort of, uh, uh, extreme self-centeredness.

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 Um, uh, second, um, objectification.

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 Um, you know, this is something that's been discussed, uh, that many people discuss, uh, uh, pornography objectifies women in particular.

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 Um, but, uh, right, the, the, the pattern of sort of, uh, well, I'll just read the quote.

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 The addict over the years is looking at thousands upon thousands of images.

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 The unknown bodies have no names or stories and have become means to an end.

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 After they no longer serve a purpose, they are cheaply discarded.

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 This causes people to chronically jump from relationship to relationship, just like clicking from image to image,

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 looking for perfection and completion in a person.

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 Um, and, uh, in some surveys, uh, many, many people sort of begin with, um, what are seen as sort of, uh, soft core images or less, or maybe less, less, uh, uh, well, it's people go from, um, uh, maybe more normal.

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 All kinds of images that people might think and then go to increasingly violent or increasingly deviant, um, forms of pornography.

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 Uh, it's sort of, it's a, it's a hunger that's not satisfied.

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 Um, uh, so that's, that's, that's a common pattern.

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 Uh, third, uh, third thing, um, that pornography use fosters is sort of a, a, uh, speed or, or very rapid, uh, pace.

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 Um, the rapid pace of relationships comes to resemble the quick climax of intensity around pornography.

00:20:07.679 --> 00:20:16.159
 Uh, the, not, the thrill of not getting exposed, uh, an urgency for consummation, ultimately an abrupt and inevitable ending normally with shame attached.

00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:32.100
 And so, um, again, there's studies that say people who have consumed a significant amount of pornography are more likely to start having sex sooner with more partners to engage in riskier kinds of sex that put them at greater risk of getting infections and to have actually contracted a sexually transmitted infection.

00:20:33.800 --> 00:20:35.140
 Fourth quality, hunger.

00:20:35.820 --> 00:20:41.900
 Um, this is sort of, uh, uh, sort of a frantic need that must be filled by the other.

00:20:41.900 --> 00:20:48.380
 Um, and, uh, this category shows itself in codependent relationships where both parties become enmeshed.

00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:52.580
 Uh, the hunger drives them to consume rather than delight in the other.

00:20:53.280 --> 00:21:06.700
 Um, and, and again, often sort of relationships that, that are very emotionally intense and sort of highly, um, uh, uh, physically and emotionally intimate from the beginning don't last very long.

00:21:06.700 --> 00:21:07.180
 Right?

00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:19.819
 And so it sort of leads to these, these patterns, um, and, uh, pornography sort of, uh, fosters, um, sort of pushes us in that direction.

00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:34.860
 Um, one of the, uh, studies, so there was a meta-analysis of 22 studies from seven different countries that concluded that pornography use was associated with verbal and physical sexual aggression, uh, in the United States.

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:40.619
 In the United States and internationally among males and females and in cross-sectional and basically across the board.

00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:55.139
 Um, uh, uh, that, uh, uh, pornography sort of fosters, um, verbal or physical, uh, aggression, um, and violence.

00:21:56.719 --> 00:21:58.199
 Fifth, isolation.

00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:08.340
 Um, we learn our sexuality behind closed doors and in the dim light of the computer screen our sexuality remains hidden even from ourselves.

00:22:08.980 --> 00:22:17.059
 We come to protect this isolation as some type of sacred space and even the thought of inviting another human in feels threatening and disruptive.

00:22:17.900 --> 00:22:23.180
 The isolation fuels the secret life and separates us from the loving relationships that we most need.

00:22:23.180 --> 00:22:37.920
 And so interestingly, though, um, some studies indicate that pornography use fosters sort of early, you know, earlier, more intense, um, and more, you know, more kinds of sexual relationships.

00:22:38.340 --> 00:22:44.799
 In other cases, people find that they lack sexual desire for any other human being at all.

00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:52.120
 Um, and aren't even attracted to their husband, wife, or partner, uh, anymore.

00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:54.819
 Um, though they can still respond to porn.

00:22:55.979 --> 00:23:02.319
 Um, uh, again, it sort of twists, twists us in all these kinds of ways.

00:23:02.479 --> 00:23:03.699
 Uh, last, fantasy.

00:23:04.279 --> 00:23:04.519
 Right?

00:23:04.639 --> 00:23:06.419
 Fantasy is an escape from what is real.

00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:15.779
 Whether it be difficult emotions such as stress, anxiety, or depression, or just the pain that genuine relationship inevitably brings, fantasy relieves those struggles for a moment.

00:23:15.779 --> 00:23:22.079
 While healthy relationships live in the truth, pornography helps bolster a life of fantasy that is difficult to undo.

00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:25.859
 Fantasy brings relief, but does not bring restoration.

00:23:27.299 --> 00:23:29.079
 Uh, and there's research on the brain.

00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:35.019
 Uh, pornography stimulates the same areas of the brain as addictive drugs, making the brain release the same chemicals.

00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:43.519
 And just like drugs, porn triggers pathways in the brain that cause craving, leading users back for more and more extreme hits to get highs.

00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:50.200
 These are only some of the, sort of, I focus on some of the effects of pornography on relationships.

00:23:51.099 --> 00:23:53.660
 Um, there are many other effects.

00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:57.200
 Uh, pornography use has contributed to many marital crises.

00:23:57.379 --> 00:24:00.639
 It's a factor in the majority of divorces in the United States today.

00:24:01.339 --> 00:24:09.720
 Uh, the industry also exploits children and women, subjecting them to violence, harassment, degradation, and sexually transmitted infections.

00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:17.980
 Um, which are much higher among, uh, rates of which are much higher among, uh, pornographic actors.

00:24:20.779 --> 00:24:24.140
 So, um, this is heavy stuff.

00:24:24.600 --> 00:24:29.019
 But, what does, how does Christ offer us mercy, healing, and hope?

00:24:29.100 --> 00:24:33.299
 Let me, uh, speak to sort of three broad categories of people.

00:24:33.299 --> 00:24:39.319
 Um, and there are many, uh, subcategories here.

00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:44.240
 But, broadly, if you are tempted by, or engaged in, or addicted to pornography,

00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:50.399
 let me challenge you, uh, with some encouragements and next steps.

00:24:50.500 --> 00:24:52.659
 First, don't try to fight this battle on your own.

00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:55.419
 Get help from brothers or sisters in Christ.

00:24:55.420 --> 00:24:58.560
 Um, you are certainly not alone.

00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:06.140
 And, uh, don't, don't, don't, you know, in general, whenever we're fighting, you know, significant spiritual battles,

00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:10.980
 uh, you know, Paul uses the image of the armor of God, right?

00:25:11.100 --> 00:25:12.779
 Clothe yourself with the armor of God, right?

00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:15.519
 A seal of faith, belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness.

00:25:16.100 --> 00:25:21.740
 And we think of the, you know, okay, I need to put on the armor of God today and sort of go into the spiritual battle.

00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:23.580
 But what was Paul's image?

00:25:23.579 --> 00:25:26.279
 Paul's image was the Roman army.

00:25:26.859 --> 00:25:28.079
 And you know how they marched into battle?

00:25:28.740 --> 00:25:32.279
 Side by side with their shields right next to each other.

00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:33.559
 And they would be a wall.

00:25:34.379 --> 00:25:35.699
 And they'd have their shields in front.

00:25:36.019 --> 00:25:38.079
 And then the guys in back would have their shields on top.

00:25:38.139 --> 00:25:41.000
 So they'd have a wall and a ceiling protecting them all.

00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:44.419
 And they'd be marching into battle side by side.

00:25:44.699 --> 00:25:48.079
 That's what Paul's talking about when he talks about put on the full armor of God.

00:25:48.179 --> 00:25:52.859
 He doesn't just, he doesn't only mean pray every morning and when, before you begin your day.

00:25:52.859 --> 00:26:00.240
 But he means be walking side by side with your fellow believers to fight whatever spiritual battles you're fighting.

00:26:01.579 --> 00:26:09.139
 So practically put filtering or accountability software on your computer or on smartphone if you haven't done that already.

00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:12.240
 None of those are foolproof.

00:26:12.420 --> 00:26:23.360
 But they can be helpful because it's one more thing that will sort of maybe hinder you from running down the road and going down a bad way.

00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:23.839
 Right?

00:26:25.699 --> 00:26:29.539
 Get accountability from people who will both encourage and challenge you.

00:26:29.819 --> 00:26:33.659
 And this is a challenge.

00:26:33.899 --> 00:26:35.639
 I would want to challenge you.

00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:40.179
 Beware of getting accountability only from people who struggle and fall just like you do.

00:26:40.979 --> 00:26:44.459
 Sometimes, especially young guys who are struggling with pornography,

00:26:44.959 --> 00:26:47.699
 share their struggle with another young guy who's also struggling with pornography

00:26:47.700 --> 00:26:51.400
 and not struggling so much as failing.

00:26:53.779 --> 00:26:57.700
 And so you have someone who understands you and maybe who's going to be compassionate.

00:26:58.180 --> 00:27:01.440
 But sometimes, you've actually got somebody who is too compassionate.

00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:04.000
 And they're not going to kick your butt enough.

00:27:04.840 --> 00:27:09.799
 And sometimes, you need to go to somebody who's maybe older than you or who maybe doesn't struggle with it,

00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:13.359
 but who's a mature and wise Christian and who's going to be like,

00:27:14.879 --> 00:27:19.099
 status quo ain't going to be good for the long run.

00:27:19.220 --> 00:27:20.980
 We've got to make a dent in this.

00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:21.619
 Right?

00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:27.299
 We've got to figure out what we need to do by the power of Christ.

00:27:27.480 --> 00:27:27.579
 Right?

00:27:27.639 --> 00:27:32.240
 The best kind of accountability embodies the steadfast love of God the Father,

00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.819
 the unwavering call to holiness in Christ,

00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:40.720
 and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to lead us along that road.

00:27:43.140 --> 00:27:48.200
 Because this sin is so pervasive, it should not be an off-limits topic in the Christian community generally.

00:27:49.019 --> 00:27:50.680
 Partly why I'm teaching this session.

00:27:51.539 --> 00:27:54.500
 Because we need to put the issue on the table

00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:59.099
 and not have it be a topic that's like, oh, well, hush, hush.

00:27:59.099 --> 00:28:03.480
 Okay, if you struggle with it, then you can tell me, but I'm not going to ever ask you.

00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:07.659
 If you have a close Christian friendship with another person of the same sex,

00:28:07.859 --> 00:28:09.839
 you know, it's not an unreasonable question to ask.

00:28:10.679 --> 00:28:15.839
 How are you doing in, you know, sexual purity?

00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:18.599
 Or, you know, whether you're single, whether you're married.

00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:24.919
 We should be asking each other about sexual integrity in general and pornography in particular.

00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:30.060
 You know, again, not sort of exclusively focusing on this issue.

00:28:30.180 --> 00:28:33.779
 I mean, to, and ignoring other issues.

00:28:34.800 --> 00:28:37.320
 We can also ask each other, how are you, you know,

00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:43.279
 how are you seeking to, you know, use your money and resources to glorify God, right?

00:28:43.300 --> 00:28:44.720
 That's another topic we don't like to talk about.

00:28:44.779 --> 00:28:46.180
 We don't like to talk about money either, right?

00:28:47.620 --> 00:28:49.900
 But Paul warns, again, sexual immorality and greed.

00:28:50.120 --> 00:28:52.900
 And he says they're idolatrous, right?

00:28:52.900 --> 00:29:00.120
 So, again, how do we encourage one another and help each other?

00:29:01.500 --> 00:29:08.160
 For some people, this has become not just a sort of a struggle and a temptation that is occasionally fallen into,

00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:09.240
 but more an addiction.

00:29:10.220 --> 00:29:12.580
 And there are various resources.

00:29:12.820 --> 00:29:14.180
 There are sex addiction recovery groups.

00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:17.180
 There are Christian support groups in the local area.

00:29:18.120 --> 00:29:20.140
 There are specialized Christian counseling resources.

00:29:20.140 --> 00:29:24.280
 If you are not sure what would, what, if you're not sure what you need,

00:29:24.320 --> 00:29:29.900
 and if you've tried sort of accountability with just brothers and sisters in Christ,

00:29:30.020 --> 00:29:34.420
 and that is not, and you're like, man, I need more than this.

00:29:34.500 --> 00:29:35.120
 I need help.

00:29:35.300 --> 00:29:40.500
 Like, I think this is just, it's deep and it's bigger than I can handle.

00:29:40.900 --> 00:29:41.960
 Come talk to one of the pastors.

00:29:41.960 --> 00:29:50.319
 And we can, you know, connect you with somebody or sort of help you figure out maybe what a next step might be for you.

00:29:52.180 --> 00:29:57.140
 Make it your primary goal to pursue Christ rather than making your primary goal to resist porn.

00:29:59.019 --> 00:30:00.620
 The first includes the second.

00:30:00.779 --> 00:30:02.600
 The second doesn't necessarily include the first.

00:30:02.599 --> 00:30:06.679
 But Christ is infinitely more satisfying than porn,

00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:09.679
 and his grace is sufficient for each day and for every trial we face.

00:30:11.719 --> 00:30:15.119
 You need to not just ask yourself, what do I need to resist?

00:30:15.779 --> 00:30:18.959
 But you also need to ask yourself, what do I need to embrace?

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:20.299
 Right?

00:30:21.019 --> 00:30:23.099
 What do I need to pursue positively?

00:30:23.099 --> 00:30:29.719
 Whether that's, you know, growing in your prayer life and in your time in the Word,

00:30:29.819 --> 00:30:31.319
 whether that's pursuing Christian friendship,

00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:37.939
 whether that's moving out of your studio apartment and looking for a group of other Christians

00:30:37.939 --> 00:30:40.559
 who you can live in an apartment with.

00:30:41.659 --> 00:30:43.219
 That can be a very practical thing.

00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:47.879
 Whatever, you know, make it your primary goal to pursue Christ

00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:53.720
 and look at his greatness.

00:30:54.140 --> 00:30:59.660
 I think, right, so we shouldn't be looking at our,

00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:02.140
 we shouldn't spend more time gazing at our sin

00:31:02.140 --> 00:31:04.340
 than we're spending gazing upon the face of Christ.

00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:05.200
 Right?

00:31:05.280 --> 00:31:08.000
 And when we look at our sin, and yes, we need to look at our sin

00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.500
 and see it for all its ugliness,

00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:13.180
 and that's what we've done partly in the first part of this lesson,

00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:15.020
 but we need to look at the glory of Christ

00:31:15.019 --> 00:31:19.900
 because he is matchless and he is majestic and he's awesome

00:31:19.900 --> 00:31:22.099
 and he's far more captivating.

00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:26.539
 So how can you actively be fixing your eyes on Christ?

00:31:27.500 --> 00:31:30.299
 Next, just practical things.

00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:34.619
 Be truthful with your spouse or your girlfriend or boyfriend if you're dating

00:31:34.619 --> 00:31:37.400
 about your sin and or struggle in this area.

00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:42.059
 It may be painful and terrifying to willingly bring this into the light now,

00:31:42.059 --> 00:31:47.000
 but it will be worse if you wait until later or if it comes to light unintentionally.

00:31:49.220 --> 00:31:53.519
 Also, marriage does not automatically fix a single person's pornography habit.

00:31:55.399 --> 00:31:55.819
 Okay?

00:31:55.879 --> 00:31:57.839
 That is sometimes a reason people say,

00:31:57.940 --> 00:32:00.799
 well, I'm not going to tell my girlfriend

00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:03.259
 because when we get married, this will be fixed.

00:32:03.259 --> 00:32:05.500
 Bad thinking.

00:32:08.200 --> 00:32:08.640
 Right?

00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:14.079
 There are many seasons of marriage that call for sexual self-control

00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:16.079
 and sexual satisfaction within marriage,

00:32:16.220 --> 00:32:19.980
 again, only happens in the context of intentionally, comprehensively,

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:21.700
 and self-sacrificially loving another person,

00:32:21.759 --> 00:32:25.160
 which is exactly the opposite of what pornography and masturbation are training you to do.

00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:34.660
 So, bring it into the light now,

00:32:35.840 --> 00:32:40.340
 and in the context of doing these other things,

00:32:40.580 --> 00:32:42.060
 to seek the help of Christ.

00:32:44.080 --> 00:32:45.720
 Don't, along that line,

00:32:46.060 --> 00:32:48.880
 don't make your spouse or your boyfriend or girlfriend

00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:50.420
 the only person who knows about it.

00:32:50.820 --> 00:32:52.640
 That is putting way too much of a burden on them.

00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:57.120
 They are not, they should not be your only accountability partner.

00:32:57.720 --> 00:32:58.540
 That's foolish.

00:32:59.780 --> 00:33:00.640
 And unloving.

00:33:01.340 --> 00:33:04.000
 You need to seek some other accountability

00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:06.080
 with other Christians of the same sex

00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:10.020
 that will help you and be a blessing

00:33:10.020 --> 00:33:15.340
 to your wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend.

00:33:17.580 --> 00:33:18.540
 A deeper thing.

00:33:18.800 --> 00:33:19.700
 These are lots of things.

00:33:19.800 --> 00:33:21.240
 You may not be able to do these all at once.

00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:22.940
 Start with some of them,

00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:24.359
 but I'm trying to give you a lot of things

00:33:24.359 --> 00:33:25.839
 that maybe you haven't thought of.

00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:28.799
 Because some of you have probably tried some of these things,

00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:30.880
 but I want to challenge you to,

00:33:31.019 --> 00:33:31.920
 that there are other things,

00:33:32.099 --> 00:33:33.240
 and sometimes people are like,

00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:34.480
 I've tried everything I can do,

00:33:34.940 --> 00:33:35.819
 and it isn't working,

00:33:36.140 --> 00:33:37.319
 and I'm stuck.

00:33:38.339 --> 00:33:39.539
 And I think sometimes,

00:33:40.819 --> 00:33:42.339
 okay, you've tried everything you can see,

00:33:42.460 --> 00:33:44.059
 but there's probably some deeper things

00:33:44.059 --> 00:33:44.819
 and broader things.

00:33:44.819 --> 00:33:49.679
 Hopefully this might give you some ideas.

00:33:49.939 --> 00:33:50.119
 All right.

00:33:50.579 --> 00:33:51.859
 Examine the underlying motives

00:33:51.859 --> 00:33:53.019
 and broader life patterns

00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:54.200
 that drive you toward pornography

00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:56.519
 rather than focusing only on behavior modification.

00:33:57.419 --> 00:33:59.259
 So this is a longer, deeper thing.

00:33:59.980 --> 00:34:03.299
 But this is often a longer process

00:34:03.299 --> 00:34:04.879
 because we don't always know why we do what we do.

00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:06.079
 Right?

00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:08.960
 I don't even know what I'm feeling

00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:11.619
 at most moments in my life

00:34:11.619 --> 00:34:13.179
 because I'm a guy.

00:34:14.059 --> 00:34:14.219
 Okay?

00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:18.059
 My wife always knows what she's feeling

00:34:18.059 --> 00:34:19.639
 at every moment of the day.

00:34:20.039 --> 00:34:20.739
 She said,

00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:22.739
 it's just like having a physical body.

00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:23.960
 Of course I know what I'm feeling.

00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:24.739
 It's like I know that,

00:34:25.659 --> 00:34:27.019
 and she might know what I'm feeling.

00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:27.779
 Exactly right.

00:34:28.139 --> 00:34:29.880
 So she's very helpful to me.

00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:32.860
 But I need to be intentional about saying,

00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:37.780
 why am I feeling frustrated or angry or tired?

00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:40.140
 Do I just need to sleep?

00:34:40.579 --> 00:34:42.140
 Or is something really bothering me

00:34:42.140 --> 00:34:43.460
 that I haven't brought to the surface

00:34:43.460 --> 00:34:44.460
 and I need to deal with that?

00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:47.920
 But examining our underlying motives,

00:34:48.019 --> 00:34:50.559
 what drives me towards this?

00:34:50.619 --> 00:34:51.820
 So one way to begin this process

00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:53.500
 would be consider those six qualities

00:34:53.500 --> 00:34:54.940
 in the article.

00:34:57.420 --> 00:34:58.780
 Do any of those ring a bell?

00:34:58.780 --> 00:34:59.940
 Right?

00:35:01.560 --> 00:35:02.620
 Sorry for control.

00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:03.840
 Objectifying others.

00:35:04.220 --> 00:35:05.920
 Sort of impatience.

00:35:06.200 --> 00:35:08.000
 Wanting everything to go very fast

00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:08.700
 and quickly

00:35:08.700 --> 00:35:10.420
 and not liking any uncertainty

00:35:10.420 --> 00:35:11.680
 or slowness.

00:35:12.040 --> 00:35:13.980
 Sort of a frantic need

00:35:13.980 --> 00:35:14.940
 for another person

00:35:14.940 --> 00:35:17.780
 or isolation

00:35:17.780 --> 00:35:18.660
 or fantasizing.

00:35:18.860 --> 00:35:18.940
 Right?

00:35:19.019 --> 00:35:20.120
 Now, some of those might

00:35:20.120 --> 00:35:22.120
 ring more true

00:35:22.120 --> 00:35:24.280
 in one person's life

00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:24.680
 than another.

00:35:24.860 --> 00:35:25.000
 Right?

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:26.080
 I'm not saying everybody's experiencing

00:35:26.080 --> 00:35:26.580
 all six.

00:35:26.579 --> 00:35:30.139
 But then,

00:35:30.799 --> 00:35:31.440
 say, okay,

00:35:31.679 --> 00:35:32.840
 one or two of those

00:35:32.840 --> 00:35:34.199
 really seem to hit home for me.

00:35:34.940 --> 00:35:36.159
 What's going on there?

00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:36.639
 Like,

00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:38.559
 I'm fantasizing a lot.

00:35:38.699 --> 00:35:40.259
 How can I be turning to Christ

00:35:40.259 --> 00:35:42.299
 when I'm tempted to fantasize?

00:35:43.019 --> 00:35:43.519
 Or,

00:35:43.639 --> 00:35:45.039
 how can I be engaging

00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:45.980
 in Christian community

00:35:45.980 --> 00:35:47.179
 when I'm tempted to isolate?

00:35:48.259 --> 00:35:48.559
 You know,

00:35:49.500 --> 00:35:51.519
 Psalm 103.6 says,

00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:52.960
 God satisfies our desires

00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:53.759
 with good things.

00:35:54.460 --> 00:35:54.880
 So,

00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:55.780
 what are the good things

00:35:55.780 --> 00:35:57.099
 that God has provided

00:35:57.099 --> 00:35:59.659
 for our legitimate desires

00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:01.179
 to either be satisfied

00:36:01.179 --> 00:36:02.860
 or just to be

00:36:02.860 --> 00:36:03.960
 put on the altar

00:36:03.960 --> 00:36:04.679
 before the Lord?

00:36:06.059 --> 00:36:07.000
 And to say,

00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:07.440
 God,

00:36:07.500 --> 00:36:08.920
 I have some unfulfilled desires

00:36:08.920 --> 00:36:09.960
 and

00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:12.440
 there isn't any

00:36:12.440 --> 00:36:13.820
 righteous way for me

00:36:13.820 --> 00:36:14.739
 to have those

00:36:14.739 --> 00:36:15.940
 met right now.

00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:16.860
 But,

00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:18.460
 I want to lay them

00:36:18.460 --> 00:36:19.099
 before you

00:36:19.099 --> 00:36:20.299
 and offer them to you

00:36:20.299 --> 00:36:21.000
 as a sacrifice

00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:22.739
 and look at the sacrifice

00:36:22.739 --> 00:36:23.500
 that you made for me

00:36:23.500 --> 00:36:24.099
 on the cross

00:36:24.099 --> 00:36:25.539
 and be empowered by that

00:36:25.539 --> 00:36:26.579
 and

00:36:26.579 --> 00:36:28.099
 draw near to you

00:36:28.099 --> 00:36:28.440
 in

00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:30.199
 my suffering

00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:31.299
 and in my longing.

00:36:36.619 --> 00:36:38.000
 His article also lists

00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:39.719
 sort of corresponding virtues

00:36:39.719 --> 00:36:41.259
 instead of control,

00:36:41.400 --> 00:36:41.639
 freedom,

00:36:41.900 --> 00:36:42.779
 instead of objectification,

00:36:42.940 --> 00:36:43.179
 honor,

00:36:43.319 --> 00:36:44.059
 instead of

00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:45.039
 speed,

00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:45.659
 patience,

00:36:46.119 --> 00:36:46.980
 instead of hunger,

00:36:47.699 --> 00:36:48.119
 desire,

00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:49.420
 instead of

00:36:49.420 --> 00:36:49.819
 isolation,

00:36:49.960 --> 00:36:50.239
 communion,

00:36:50.420 --> 00:36:50.920
 instead of

00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.259
 fantasizing authenticity.

00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:52.779
 So,

00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:55.079
 I think that's

00:36:55.079 --> 00:36:56.539
 helpful food for thought.

00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:00.199
 Or,

00:37:00.299 --> 00:37:00.659
 another

00:37:00.659 --> 00:37:03.460
 way to begin this process,

00:37:03.639 --> 00:37:03.759
 so,

00:37:03.880 --> 00:37:04.759
 in Tim Chester's book,

00:37:04.799 --> 00:37:05.400
 he talks about

00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:06.980
 the most common reasons

00:37:06.980 --> 00:37:07.839
 why people

00:37:07.839 --> 00:37:08.739
 watch pornography.

00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:10.259
 And I won't be able

00:37:10.259 --> 00:37:10.699
 to remember them

00:37:10.699 --> 00:37:11.380
 off the top of my head,

00:37:11.480 --> 00:37:11.880
 but their

00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:13.079
 boredom,

00:37:14.460 --> 00:37:14.980
 frustration,

00:37:15.819 --> 00:37:16.380
 depression,

00:37:16.380 --> 00:37:17.400
 anxiety,

00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:19.420
 you know,

00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:20.360
 there's various reasons.

00:37:20.700 --> 00:37:21.320
 And sort of asking,

00:37:21.460 --> 00:37:21.539
 like,

00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:22.579
 what is it for me

00:37:22.579 --> 00:37:25.039
 that sort of

00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:25.800
 drives me there?

00:37:26.840 --> 00:37:27.519
 For some people,

00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:28.140
 it's being angry,

00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:28.539
 you know,

00:37:28.619 --> 00:37:28.680
 for,

00:37:28.680 --> 00:37:29.440
 there was

00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:31.960
 one example

00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:32.660
 where,

00:37:32.760 --> 00:37:33.260
 for one guy,

00:37:33.400 --> 00:37:33.900
 it was like,

00:37:34.519 --> 00:37:35.400
 he was angry at God

00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:36.680
 because he was 30-something

00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:37.380
 and he wasn't married.

00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:38.640
 And he really wanted

00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:39.059
 to be married

00:37:39.059 --> 00:37:39.579
 and he felt like

00:37:39.579 --> 00:37:40.619
 God had done him wrong

00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:41.579
 by not giving him a spouse.

00:37:42.180 --> 00:37:42.519
 And so,

00:37:42.599 --> 00:37:43.360
 when he really started

00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:44.099
 dwelling on that,

00:37:44.099 --> 00:37:45.679
 that's what brought him

00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:46.059
 over there.

00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:47.319
 And so,

00:37:47.420 --> 00:37:48.179
 he didn't just need

00:37:48.179 --> 00:37:49.039
 to focus on controlling

00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:49.619
 his lust,

00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:50.639
 he needed to deal with

00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:51.319
 why am I,

00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:52.839
 why do I feel like

00:37:52.839 --> 00:37:53.819
 I'm entitled to something

00:37:53.819 --> 00:37:54.920
 that God hasn't given me?

00:37:56.039 --> 00:37:56.860
 And how do I need

00:37:56.860 --> 00:37:57.900
 to change my thinking

00:37:57.900 --> 00:37:59.860
 and reject that lie

00:37:59.860 --> 00:38:01.360
 and embrace the truth

00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:01.900
 that,

00:38:02.039 --> 00:38:02.239
 first of all,

00:38:02.259 --> 00:38:03.259
 God doesn't owe me anything

00:38:03.259 --> 00:38:04.199
 and,

00:38:04.299 --> 00:38:04.819
 second of all,

00:38:05.099 --> 00:38:05.360
 you know,

00:38:05.739 --> 00:38:06.619
 in Christ he's given me

00:38:06.619 --> 00:38:07.279
 all that I need.

00:38:08.139 --> 00:38:08.339
 Anyway,

00:38:08.519 --> 00:38:08.699
 so,

00:38:08.860 --> 00:38:10.259
 sometimes there's

00:38:10.259 --> 00:38:12.579
 deeper things going on.

00:38:12.579 --> 00:38:13.460
 These are good conversation

00:38:13.460 --> 00:38:14.219
 topics to pursue

00:38:14.219 --> 00:38:14.559
 with someone

00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:15.340
 who knows you well

00:38:15.340 --> 00:38:18.139
 or a wise older Christian.

00:38:18.460 --> 00:38:18.759
 Also,

00:38:18.900 --> 00:38:19.779
 pray for real people.

00:38:19.860 --> 00:38:20.659
 Here's something practical

00:38:20.659 --> 00:38:21.079
 to do

00:38:21.079 --> 00:38:22.319
 that is not about yourself.

00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:23.179
 Pray for real people

00:38:23.179 --> 00:38:24.239
 who are directly harmed

00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:25.159
 in the production

00:38:25.159 --> 00:38:25.880
 of pornography.

00:38:26.659 --> 00:38:27.679
 Children whose bodies

00:38:27.679 --> 00:38:28.259
 are exploited,

00:38:28.420 --> 00:38:29.319
 women who are pressured

00:38:29.319 --> 00:38:30.860
 into violent

00:38:30.860 --> 00:38:31.799
 and degrading acts

00:38:31.799 --> 00:38:32.579
 or who have come

00:38:32.579 --> 00:38:33.000
 to believe

00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:33.659
 that such acts

00:38:33.659 --> 00:38:34.400
 are just fine,

00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:35.219
 normal and healthy.

00:38:36.659 --> 00:38:37.779
 Producers and advertisers

00:38:37.779 --> 00:38:38.759
 whose livelihoods

00:38:38.759 --> 00:38:39.360
 are enmeshed

00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:40.659
 in wickedness.

00:38:40.659 --> 00:38:42.719
 Learn about the connection

00:38:42.719 --> 00:38:43.799
 of the pornography industry

00:38:43.799 --> 00:38:45.319
 to global sex trafficking.

00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:46.279
 There is a connection.

00:38:48.659 --> 00:38:49.879
 Consider how you can help

00:38:49.879 --> 00:38:50.559
 people who are seeking

00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:51.079
 to recover

00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:51.699
 from the damage

00:38:51.699 --> 00:38:52.619
 that has been inflicted

00:38:52.619 --> 00:38:52.980
 on them.

00:38:54.599 --> 00:38:55.599
 If you make a habit

00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:56.000
 of praying

00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:57.039
 for people every day,

00:38:57.599 --> 00:38:59.399
 that might also

00:38:59.399 --> 00:39:00.319
 have a beneficial effect

00:39:00.319 --> 00:39:00.879
 when you're tempted

00:39:00.879 --> 00:39:02.460
 to sort of

00:39:02.460 --> 00:39:03.480
 be part of

00:39:03.480 --> 00:39:04.420
 an exploitative industry.

00:39:05.359 --> 00:39:05.500
 Right?

00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:06.259
 That's another angle.

00:39:08.859 --> 00:39:09.739
 There's books we can read.

00:39:09.739 --> 00:39:10.019
 All right.

00:39:10.059 --> 00:39:10.779
 Let me speak briefly

00:39:10.779 --> 00:39:12.259
 to those who have been

00:39:12.259 --> 00:39:13.239
 hurt by your spouse's

00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:14.059
 pornography use.

00:39:14.500 --> 00:39:15.639
 And let me begin

00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:16.679
 by saying the last thing

00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:17.719
 in this list is

00:39:17.719 --> 00:39:19.199
 the pastors and elders

00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:20.379
 recognize that these

00:39:20.379 --> 00:39:21.199
 situations are often

00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:22.259
 complex and a general

00:39:22.259 --> 00:39:23.199
 statement of this kind

00:39:23.199 --> 00:39:23.959
 cannot address

00:39:23.959 --> 00:39:25.439
 every specific circumstance.

00:39:25.839 --> 00:39:26.159
 However,

00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:27.099
 we are always available

00:39:27.099 --> 00:39:28.419
 for counsel and prayer.

00:39:29.639 --> 00:39:31.039
 Just a few things.

00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:35.039
 You have been deeply

00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:35.979
 hurt and wronged.

00:39:35.979 --> 00:39:36.819
 You may feel betrayed,

00:39:37.019 --> 00:39:37.279
 deceived,

00:39:37.419 --> 00:39:38.500
 or even traumatized.

00:39:38.500 --> 00:39:39.440
 You may experience

00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:39.820
 emotional,

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:40.260
 physical,

00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:41.579
 and or psychological

00:39:41.579 --> 00:39:42.059
 effects.

00:39:42.559 --> 00:39:43.360
 All of those things

00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:44.820
 are normal.

00:39:46.280 --> 00:39:47.420
 Anger at your spouse

00:39:47.420 --> 00:39:48.000
 is natural.

00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:49.320
 It is often warranted,

00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:50.320
 and it may persist

00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:51.320
 for quite some time.

00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:53.000
 A wise mentor

00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:54.239
 or trustworthy counselor

00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:55.219
 can help you process

00:39:55.219 --> 00:39:55.980
 strong emotions

00:39:55.980 --> 00:39:57.420
 and pursue a path

00:39:57.420 --> 00:39:57.920
 of wisdom

00:39:57.920 --> 00:39:59.519
 and resist temptations

00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:00.420
 to either trivialize

00:40:00.420 --> 00:40:00.880
 the problem

00:40:00.880 --> 00:40:01.739
 or to harbor

00:40:01.739 --> 00:40:02.760
 a bitter and vengeful

00:40:02.760 --> 00:40:03.119
 spirit.

00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:05.559
 Christ can heal

00:40:05.559 --> 00:40:06.039
 your wounds.

00:40:06.219 --> 00:40:06.980
 He knows the feeling

00:40:06.980 --> 00:40:07.579
 of betrayal,

00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:08.960
 but healing

00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:10.000
 often takes time,

00:40:10.780 --> 00:40:12.519
 particularly where

00:40:12.519 --> 00:40:13.460
 it's gone on

00:40:13.460 --> 00:40:14.179
 for a long time

00:40:14.179 --> 00:40:14.719
 and it's involved

00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:15.179
 deception.

00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:16.659
 Healing often takes

00:40:16.659 --> 00:40:17.920
 years rather than

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:18.800
 months or days.

00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:21.400
 God wants to heal

00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:21.920
 your marriage,

00:40:22.019 --> 00:40:22.800
 however your spouse

00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:23.579
 may or may not

00:40:23.579 --> 00:40:24.420
 want to seek help.

00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:26.320
 The encouragement

00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:27.300
 and trusting hope

00:40:27.300 --> 00:40:27.800
 of a spouse

00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:28.420
 can be a great

00:40:28.420 --> 00:40:29.199
 source of strength

00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:29.880
 for one who is

00:40:29.880 --> 00:40:30.940
 struggling to be pure.

00:40:31.980 --> 00:40:32.800
 If your spouse

00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:33.460
 is in denial

00:40:33.460 --> 00:40:34.340
 or rejects help,

00:40:34.420 --> 00:40:35.179
 the church is here

00:40:35.179 --> 00:40:36.339
 for you and there

00:40:36.339 --> 00:40:37.059
 are also support

00:40:37.059 --> 00:40:37.859
 groups and counselors

00:40:37.859 --> 00:40:38.579
 for spouses

00:40:38.579 --> 00:40:40.199
 of addicted persons.

00:40:41.460 --> 00:40:41.940
 Finally,

00:40:42.279 --> 00:40:43.379
 for parents of

00:40:43.379 --> 00:40:44.039
 children and youth,

00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:46.779
 if you don't teach

00:40:46.779 --> 00:40:47.659
 your kids about porn,

00:40:47.759 --> 00:40:48.359
 the porn producers

00:40:48.359 --> 00:40:49.079
 will teach your kids

00:40:49.079 --> 00:40:50.239
 about porn for you.

00:40:55.219 --> 00:40:56.179
 According to a study

00:40:56.179 --> 00:40:57.199
 published in 2017

00:40:57.199 --> 00:40:57.899
 by the American

00:40:57.899 --> 00:40:59.099
 Psychological Association,

00:40:59.239 --> 00:41:00.219
 the average age of boys

00:41:00.219 --> 00:41:00.940
 first exposure

00:41:00.940 --> 00:41:01.460
 to pornography

00:41:01.460 --> 00:41:02.099
 was 13.

00:41:02.699 --> 00:41:03.319
 Other studies

00:41:03.319 --> 00:41:03.859
 have concluded

00:41:03.860 --> 00:41:04.599
 the average age

00:41:04.599 --> 00:41:05.920
 is as low as 11.

00:41:07.240 --> 00:41:07.960
 And that means

00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:09.980
 that half of children

00:41:09.980 --> 00:41:10.640
 are exposed,

00:41:11.500 --> 00:41:12.539
 or a large number

00:41:12.539 --> 00:41:12.920
 of children

00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:13.620
 are exposed

00:41:13.620 --> 00:41:14.059
 even younger

00:41:14.059 --> 00:41:14.980
 than the average.

00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:17.400
 60% of the young men

00:41:17.400 --> 00:41:18.480
 in the APA study

00:41:18.480 --> 00:41:19.000
 said that their

00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:19.720
 first exposure

00:41:19.720 --> 00:41:20.599
 was accidental

00:41:20.599 --> 00:41:21.480
 or forced.

00:41:21.960 --> 00:41:23.400
 Only 33% said

00:41:23.400 --> 00:41:23.820
 that they were

00:41:23.820 --> 00:41:24.559
 intentionally seeking

00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:24.920
 it out.

00:41:26.579 --> 00:41:27.420
 So just because

00:41:27.420 --> 00:41:27.800
 your child

00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:28.780
 is not seeking it out

00:41:28.780 --> 00:41:29.620
 does not mean

00:41:29.620 --> 00:41:30.099
 that they are not

00:41:30.099 --> 00:41:30.820
 vulnerable to it.

00:41:30.820 --> 00:41:35.300
 And I think

00:41:35.300 --> 00:41:35.780
 this applies

00:41:35.780 --> 00:41:36.740
 to every topic

00:41:36.740 --> 00:41:37.559
 we have discussed.

00:41:38.160 --> 00:41:38.960
 If you don't

00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:39.660
 discuss it

00:41:39.660 --> 00:41:40.380
 with your children,

00:41:41.200 --> 00:41:43.320
 then the world

00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:44.039
 will find plenty

00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:44.519
 of ways

00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:45.900
 to carry on

00:41:45.900 --> 00:41:46.539
 that conversation

00:41:46.539 --> 00:41:47.080
 with your children

00:41:47.080 --> 00:41:47.620
 independently.

00:41:49.320 --> 00:41:50.059
 And that's not,

00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:51.460
 let's not do that.

00:41:52.780 --> 00:41:53.700
 Some resources,

00:41:54.519 --> 00:41:55.260
 be careful

00:41:55.260 --> 00:41:55.960
 if you go online

00:41:55.960 --> 00:41:56.460
 and search for

00:41:56.460 --> 00:41:57.500
 resources about pornography.

00:41:57.500 --> 00:41:57.619
 pornography.

00:41:58.139 --> 00:41:58.780
 The pornography

00:41:58.780 --> 00:41:59.940
 companies are shrewd

00:41:59.940 --> 00:42:00.980
 and they notice.

00:42:03.079 --> 00:42:03.900
 And they like

00:42:03.900 --> 00:42:04.519
 to strategically

00:42:04.519 --> 00:42:05.480
 place ads

00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.900
 and draw people in.

00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:09.739
 So just beware of that.

00:42:12.619 --> 00:42:14.039
 There are some

00:42:14.039 --> 00:42:16.760
 resources I've listed here

00:42:16.760 --> 00:42:18.920
 which I want to

00:42:18.920 --> 00:42:19.659
 open it up for questions.

00:42:19.780 --> 00:42:20.099
 I'm not going to

00:42:20.099 --> 00:42:20.659
 read through these

00:42:20.659 --> 00:42:21.480
 but there's

00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:22.460
 several resources

00:42:22.460 --> 00:42:25.480
 for sort of

00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:26.579
 generally for men,

00:42:26.579 --> 00:42:27.779
 for women,

00:42:28.219 --> 00:42:29.679
 for spouses,

00:42:30.460 --> 00:42:32.360
 some science-based

00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:32.880
 resources,

00:42:33.139 --> 00:42:34.079
 some Christian-based

00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:34.579
 resources.

00:42:34.739 --> 00:42:35.460
 The book at the end

00:42:35.460 --> 00:42:36.940
 is a good way

00:42:36.940 --> 00:42:37.940
 to introduce

00:42:37.940 --> 00:42:38.440
 these topics

00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:39.059
 to your children.

00:42:39.980 --> 00:42:40.799
 Good pictures,

00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:41.639
 bad pictures.

00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:43.900
 There's some other books.

00:42:43.940 --> 00:42:44.299
 There's some books

00:42:44.299 --> 00:42:44.599
 on the book,

00:42:44.659 --> 00:42:44.819
 Saul,

00:42:44.980 --> 00:42:46.259
 that are children's books

00:42:46.259 --> 00:42:47.000
 that sort of

00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:48.000
 introduce God's design

00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:48.579
 for our bodies

00:42:48.579 --> 00:42:49.779
 in very positive ways

00:42:49.779 --> 00:42:51.279
 but also talk about

00:42:51.279 --> 00:42:52.679
 sort of protecting

00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:54.440
 our bodies

00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:56.799
 and minds.

00:42:57.239 --> 00:42:57.859
 So you can look

00:42:57.859 --> 00:42:58.359
 through those

00:42:58.359 --> 00:42:59.859
 and those can be

00:42:59.859 --> 00:43:00.539
 helpful ways

00:43:00.539 --> 00:43:01.039
 to introduce

00:43:01.039 --> 00:43:01.460
 the topic

00:43:01.460 --> 00:43:02.960
 to young children

00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:05.879
 without getting

00:43:05.879 --> 00:43:07.500
 unnecessarily graphic

00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:08.559
 or sort of

00:43:08.559 --> 00:43:09.639
 giving inappropriate

00:43:09.639 --> 00:43:10.539
 and unhelpful

00:43:10.539 --> 00:43:11.460
 level of detail.

00:43:12.379 --> 00:43:12.699
 All right.

00:43:12.799 --> 00:43:13.339
 Let me open it up

00:43:13.339 --> 00:43:14.419
 for questions

00:43:14.419 --> 00:43:16.440
 or comments.

00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:16.500
 Yes.

00:43:21.220 --> 00:43:21.940
 I was wondering

00:43:21.940 --> 00:43:22.440
 if you were looking

00:43:22.440 --> 00:43:23.220
 at me or behind me.

00:43:23.340 --> 00:43:25.059
 So this is 64%

00:43:25.059 --> 00:43:27.179
 admit, right?

00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:27.860
 So that means

00:43:27.860 --> 00:43:28.880
 the number's much higher

00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:29.720
 because most people,

00:43:30.159 --> 00:43:30.599
 you would think

00:43:30.599 --> 00:43:31.260
 most people don't

00:43:31.260 --> 00:43:31.740
 want to admit

00:43:31.740 --> 00:43:33.679
 to this problem, right?

00:43:34.380 --> 00:43:34.820
 Yeah,

00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:35.980
 so the survey numbers

00:43:35.980 --> 00:43:36.579
 are hard.

00:43:37.340 --> 00:43:37.539
 I mean,

00:43:37.579 --> 00:43:38.440
 now that survey

00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:38.900
 is conducted

00:43:38.900 --> 00:43:39.780
 by Covenant Eyes

00:43:39.780 --> 00:43:40.780
 which is one of the

00:43:40.780 --> 00:43:41.920
 companies that offers

00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:42.980
 accountability software

00:43:42.980 --> 00:43:45.420
 so you might also say,

00:43:45.579 --> 00:43:45.780
 well,

00:43:45.780 --> 00:43:47.019
 they probably have

00:43:47.019 --> 00:43:48.000
 more people in their orbit

00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:49.260
 who are actively,

00:43:49.480 --> 00:43:50.220
 you know,

00:43:50.280 --> 00:43:51.100
 dealing with pornography.

00:43:52.580 --> 00:43:54.019
 But the statistic is

00:43:54.019 --> 00:43:55.600
 admit to watching it

00:43:55.600 --> 00:43:56.220
 once a month,

00:43:56.420 --> 00:43:57.420
 at least once a month.

00:43:57.660 --> 00:43:58.680
 So if it's less

00:43:58.680 --> 00:43:59.340
 than once a month,

00:43:59.620 --> 00:44:00.720
 then you're not counted

00:44:00.720 --> 00:44:02.040
 in that list, right?

00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:05.820
 So the number of men

00:44:05.820 --> 00:44:08.760
 who have watched pornography

00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:09.620
 at one time or another

00:44:09.620 --> 00:44:11.600
 is above 90%.

00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:17.000
 It's not 100%,

00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:20.099
 but it is very high.

00:44:20.099 --> 00:44:21.279
 So,

00:44:21.279 --> 00:44:23.839
 what are we doing?

00:44:24.839 --> 00:44:25.819
 What are we doing?

00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:26.179
 Like,

00:44:26.319 --> 00:44:27.339
 what are we teaching

00:44:27.339 --> 00:44:29.339
 parents of young boys?

00:44:29.559 --> 00:44:30.039
 What are we,

00:44:30.099 --> 00:44:30.880
 like as a church,

00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:32.460
 as a body of Christ,

00:44:32.539 --> 00:44:33.339
 what are we doing

00:44:33.339 --> 00:44:34.739
 for discipleship?

00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:35.559
 This is something

00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:36.440
 that we've been talking

00:44:36.440 --> 00:44:37.380
 about a lot at home.

00:44:39.380 --> 00:44:39.839
 Like,

00:44:39.900 --> 00:44:40.559
 when a child

00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:41.119
 is baptized,

00:44:41.880 --> 00:44:42.980
 where's their mentor?

00:44:43.279 --> 00:44:44.000
 Who's assigned

00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:44.779
 to that child?

00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:45.739
 What are we doing

00:44:45.739 --> 00:44:46.239
 collectively

00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:47.059
 as a church

00:44:47.059 --> 00:44:48.059
 in America?

00:44:48.779 --> 00:44:49.000
 I mean,

00:44:49.059 --> 00:44:49.460
 I know it's

00:44:49.460 --> 00:44:50.719
 an international problem,

00:44:50.840 --> 00:44:51.559
 but what are we doing

00:44:51.559 --> 00:44:52.840
 to prevent that number?

00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:54.599
 That's a horrible number.

00:44:55.059 --> 00:44:55.239
 Yeah.

00:44:55.420 --> 00:44:56.279
 And for a young,

00:44:56.420 --> 00:44:57.099
 single woman

00:44:57.099 --> 00:44:58.500
 to know that basically

00:44:58.500 --> 00:45:00.139
 any of my options

00:45:00.139 --> 00:45:02.420
 of dating someone

00:45:02.420 --> 00:45:03.460
 is someone

00:45:03.460 --> 00:45:05.299
 who has a problem

00:45:05.299 --> 00:45:05.920
 with this,

00:45:06.019 --> 00:45:06.340
 you know?

00:45:06.579 --> 00:45:06.980
 Like,

00:45:07.019 --> 00:45:08.059
 that's a scary thought

00:45:08.059 --> 00:45:09.139
 for myself.

00:45:09.239 --> 00:45:10.099
 So what can we do

00:45:10.099 --> 00:45:11.239
 as women,

00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:12.019
 what can we do

00:45:12.019 --> 00:45:13.139
 as a body of Christ

00:45:13.139 --> 00:45:16.019
 to knock that number

00:45:16.019 --> 00:45:16.739
 out of the park?

00:45:17.059 --> 00:45:17.699
 Yeah.

00:45:18.179 --> 00:45:18.380
 Yeah.

00:45:18.679 --> 00:45:18.920
 Well,

00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:21.239
 that's a good question.

00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:23.440
 And,

00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:24.679
 yeah,

00:45:24.779 --> 00:45:25.340
 that's a good question.

00:45:25.440 --> 00:45:25.840
 That's why we're

00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:26.579
 having this class.

00:45:27.679 --> 00:45:28.279
 Matt.

00:45:28.500 --> 00:45:29.239
 I think

00:45:29.239 --> 00:45:30.659
 this course

00:45:30.659 --> 00:45:31.299
 has been

00:45:31.299 --> 00:45:32.579
 absolutely tremendous.

00:45:33.340 --> 00:45:34.659
 The biggest criticism

00:45:34.659 --> 00:45:35.799
 I would have

00:45:35.799 --> 00:45:36.599
 so far

00:45:36.599 --> 00:45:37.279
 is that

00:45:37.279 --> 00:45:38.159
 under parents

00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:39.059
 you have so little.

00:45:40.739 --> 00:45:41.380
 And

00:45:41.380 --> 00:45:42.699
 I think

00:45:42.699 --> 00:45:44.460
 this is a huge issue

00:45:44.460 --> 00:45:45.800
 that

00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:47.740
 we need to

00:45:47.740 --> 00:45:48.980
 work through together

00:45:48.980 --> 00:45:49.860
 because there,

00:45:50.240 --> 00:45:51.179
 we may not have

00:45:51.179 --> 00:45:51.400
 a,

00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:53.119
 maybe there weren't

00:45:53.119 --> 00:45:53.659
 a lot of things

00:45:53.659 --> 00:45:54.220
 online,

00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:54.880
 you know,

00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:55.639
 or in books

00:45:55.639 --> 00:45:56.880
 for you to get

00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:57.440
 on this

00:45:57.440 --> 00:45:58.220
 because we haven't

00:45:58.220 --> 00:45:59.079
 wrestled with it too.

00:46:00.019 --> 00:46:00.380
 Yes.

00:46:00.619 --> 00:46:00.779
 Yeah.

00:46:00.860 --> 00:46:01.139
 So I,

00:46:01.319 --> 00:46:02.179
 a couple weeks ago

00:46:02.179 --> 00:46:03.039
 I addressed sort of

00:46:03.039 --> 00:46:03.940
 parents,

00:46:04.019 --> 00:46:04.699
 the importance of parents

00:46:04.699 --> 00:46:05.299
 teaching children

00:46:05.299 --> 00:46:06.099
 about sexuality

00:46:06.099 --> 00:46:06.480
 and gender

00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:07.000
 more broadly.

00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:08.219
 So I gave

00:46:08.219 --> 00:46:09.599
 some more detail

00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:10.539
 in that lesson.

00:46:10.539 --> 00:46:12.679
 I think

00:46:12.679 --> 00:46:13.380
 I would

00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:14.619
 also,

00:46:15.920 --> 00:46:16.199
 I mean,

00:46:16.279 --> 00:46:16.860
 I think that,

00:46:16.940 --> 00:46:17.079
 again,

00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:18.159
 this class is meant

00:46:18.159 --> 00:46:18.519
 to open,

00:46:18.860 --> 00:46:19.719
 this class is meant

00:46:19.719 --> 00:46:20.400
 to be the beginning

00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:21.480
 of conversations.

00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:23.920
 It is not meant

00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:24.599
 to be the last word

00:46:24.599 --> 00:46:25.079
 on everything.

00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:25.940
 So

00:46:25.940 --> 00:46:28.000
 take the opportunity

00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:28.559
 to

00:46:28.559 --> 00:46:29.880
 discuss that.

00:46:29.940 --> 00:46:30.099
 Again,

00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:30.659
 we've tried to put

00:46:30.659 --> 00:46:31.300
 some resources

00:46:31.300 --> 00:46:31.980
 on the book stall.

00:46:32.619 --> 00:46:33.400
 I should check

00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:33.960
 if good pictures,

00:46:34.019 --> 00:46:34.659
 bad pictures

00:46:34.659 --> 00:46:35.420
 is over there.

00:46:36.119 --> 00:46:37.340
 I'm not 100% sure

00:46:37.340 --> 00:46:38.639
 but we can get it

00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:39.000
 if we

00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:40.119
 need to.

00:46:40.119 --> 00:46:40.319
 Yeah.

00:46:40.319 --> 00:46:40.559
 I mean,

00:46:40.759 --> 00:46:41.139
 having,

00:46:41.500 --> 00:46:42.839
 having grandchildren

00:46:42.839 --> 00:46:44.099
 now and how

00:46:44.099 --> 00:46:45.279
 they raised our kids,

00:46:45.559 --> 00:46:47.380
 we didn't do it

00:46:47.380 --> 00:46:48.639
 perfectly and we were

00:46:48.639 --> 00:46:49.519
 probably seen as

00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:50.839
 very strict parents.

00:46:51.099 --> 00:46:51.759
 There were no

00:46:51.759 --> 00:46:52.579
 computers allowed

00:46:52.579 --> 00:46:53.019
 in their room.

00:46:53.139 --> 00:46:53.799
 There were no TVs

00:46:53.799 --> 00:46:54.799
 allowed in their room.

00:46:55.179 --> 00:46:55.339
 I mean,

00:46:55.380 --> 00:46:55.659
 yes,

00:46:55.699 --> 00:46:56.219
 we didn't deal

00:46:56.219 --> 00:46:56.900
 with the smartphone

00:46:56.900 --> 00:46:58.000
 issue but even

00:46:58.000 --> 00:46:58.599
 our kids weren't

00:46:58.599 --> 00:46:59.319
 allowed smartphones

00:46:59.319 --> 00:47:00.099
 until they were

00:47:00.099 --> 00:47:00.659
 in college.

00:47:00.839 --> 00:47:00.920
 So,

00:47:01.039 --> 00:47:01.219
 you know,

00:47:01.279 --> 00:47:01.480
 I mean,

00:47:02.119 --> 00:47:02.859
 we were very

00:47:02.859 --> 00:47:03.440
 strict and

00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:04.199
 what we watched.

00:47:04.380 --> 00:47:05.119
 We were very

00:47:05.119 --> 00:47:06.539
 vigilant on what

00:47:06.539 --> 00:47:07.599
 movies we allowed.

00:47:07.699 --> 00:47:08.319
 We did not

00:47:08.319 --> 00:47:09.119
 allow our kids

00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:09.940
 to go to our

00:47:09.940 --> 00:47:10.679
 rated movies.

00:47:11.539 --> 00:47:11.760
 We,

00:47:11.940 --> 00:47:12.639
 we didn't.

00:47:13.260 --> 00:47:14.200
 There's a whole

00:47:14.200 --> 00:47:16.599
 tip now of,

00:47:16.700 --> 00:47:16.940
 I mean,

00:47:17.480 --> 00:47:18.179
 you used to see

00:47:18.179 --> 00:47:19.099
 if a video store

00:47:19.099 --> 00:47:19.679
 opened up,

00:47:19.780 --> 00:47:20.599
 an adult video

00:47:20.599 --> 00:47:21.720
 or an adult toy

00:47:21.720 --> 00:47:22.099
 store,

00:47:22.440 --> 00:47:23.139
 there would be

00:47:23.139 --> 00:47:24.400
 protests outside

00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:25.240
 of it from a local

00:47:25.240 --> 00:47:26.139
 church or it was

00:47:26.139 --> 00:47:27.059
 too close to a school.

00:47:27.179 --> 00:47:27.980
 You don't see that

00:47:27.980 --> 00:47:28.980
 on the news anymore.

00:47:29.639 --> 00:47:29.880
 So,

00:47:30.200 --> 00:47:30.519
 but,

00:47:30.619 --> 00:47:31.800
 it's also correlated

00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:33.360
 with families

00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:34.920
 not going to

00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:35.619
 church anymore.

00:47:35.940 --> 00:47:36.940
 Families not

00:47:36.940 --> 00:47:38.300
 professing to be

00:47:38.300 --> 00:47:38.800
 Christians,

00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:39.960
 not even trying.

00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:40.900
 And,

00:47:41.100 --> 00:47:41.320
 well,

00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:41.900
 it's okay,

00:47:42.080 --> 00:47:42.800
 we'll handle it,

00:47:42.820 --> 00:47:43.720
 we'll talk about it

00:47:43.720 --> 00:47:44.480
 when it comes up.

00:47:44.760 --> 00:47:44.920
 So,

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:45.260
 I mean,

00:47:46.060 --> 00:47:46.880
 even as much as

00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:48.039
 we do need to

00:47:48.039 --> 00:47:49.320
 parent as a church

00:47:49.320 --> 00:47:50.140
 and teach parents

00:47:50.140 --> 00:47:51.000
 how to deal with

00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:51.240
 this,

00:47:51.519 --> 00:47:52.260
 but we also need

00:47:52.260 --> 00:47:52.820
 to get people

00:47:52.820 --> 00:47:53.940
 back to Christ.

00:47:54.440 --> 00:47:54.640
 Yeah,

00:47:54.900 --> 00:47:55.120
 yeah.

00:47:55.120 --> 00:47:55.460
 Because if they

00:47:55.460 --> 00:47:56.260
 don't have it,

00:47:56.640 --> 00:47:57.320
 they don't see a

00:47:57.320 --> 00:47:57.640
 problem.

00:47:58.180 --> 00:47:58.340
 Yeah.

00:47:58.340 --> 00:47:59.080
 And even your

00:47:59.080 --> 00:48:00.039
 statistic in there

00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:00.900
 on Fifty Shades

00:48:00.900 --> 00:48:01.280
 of Grey

00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:02.460
 is a perfect

00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:04.140
 example of

00:48:04.140 --> 00:48:04.600
 women,

00:48:04.840 --> 00:48:05.340
 especially,

00:48:05.340 --> 00:48:06.700
 who have just

00:48:06.700 --> 00:48:07.500
 decided it's

00:48:07.500 --> 00:48:07.860
 okay,

00:48:08.340 --> 00:48:09.220
 it's not

00:48:09.220 --> 00:48:09.660
 harmful.

00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:11.360
 And the society

00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:12.019
 has embraced

00:48:12.019 --> 00:48:12.320
 that.

00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:13.579
 And I don't

00:48:13.579 --> 00:48:14.640
 know how many

00:48:14.640 --> 00:48:16.400
 of my secular

00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:17.340
 friends ask me,

00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:18.019
 so what do you

00:48:18.019 --> 00:48:18.600
 think of the book?

00:48:18.640 --> 00:48:19.160
 Because I read

00:48:19.160 --> 00:48:20.000
 like a book a week.

00:48:20.360 --> 00:48:21.180
 I'm an avid reader.

00:48:21.280 --> 00:48:21.539
 I'm like,

00:48:21.860 --> 00:48:23.000
 I refuse to read it.

00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:23.940
 Mm-hmm,

00:48:24.160 --> 00:48:24.340
 yep.

00:48:24.519 --> 00:48:25.539
 It's real life.

00:48:25.660 --> 00:48:26.500
 It's destructive.

00:48:26.740 --> 00:48:27.660
 It destroys people.

00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:28.480
 And they're like,

00:48:28.740 --> 00:48:28.980
 oh,

00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:30.300
 it's only a story.

00:48:31.640 --> 00:48:33.120
 And that's really

00:48:33.120 --> 00:48:34.059
 the base problem.

00:48:34.059 --> 00:48:35.460
 So I'll continue

00:48:35.460 --> 00:48:36.119
 to be a strict

00:48:36.119 --> 00:48:36.880
 parent and a

00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:37.400
 grandparent.

00:48:38.440 --> 00:48:38.539
 Yeah.

00:48:38.539 --> 00:48:39.980
 Because if I can

00:48:39.980 --> 00:48:41.000
 save my child

00:48:41.000 --> 00:48:41.820
 or my grandchild

00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:43.480
 from being harmed

00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:44.159
 like that,

00:48:44.380 --> 00:48:45.360
 I'll do what I

00:48:45.360 --> 00:48:45.659
 can.

00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:46.579
 Yeah.

00:48:46.920 --> 00:48:47.539
 Yeah.

00:48:47.779 --> 00:48:48.039
 I think,

00:48:48.039 --> 00:48:48.900
 yeah,

00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:49.420
 yeah.

00:48:49.559 --> 00:48:49.699
 No,

00:48:49.779 --> 00:48:50.059
 I think,

00:48:50.179 --> 00:48:50.719
 I mean,

00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:51.719
 I think there's

00:48:51.719 --> 00:48:52.340
 a broader issue

00:48:52.340 --> 00:48:53.000
 as parents

00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:53.579
 with how do

00:48:53.579 --> 00:48:56.199
 we sort of

00:48:56.199 --> 00:48:56.799
 govern our

00:48:56.799 --> 00:48:57.460
 children's access

00:48:57.460 --> 00:48:58.159
 technology,

00:48:58.559 --> 00:48:58.860
 right?

00:48:59.119 --> 00:48:59.539
 Like,

00:49:00.460 --> 00:49:00.840
 you know,

00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:01.340
 and,

00:49:01.820 --> 00:49:02.139
 I mean,

00:49:02.199 --> 00:49:02.320
 have,

00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:02.639
 you know,

00:49:02.719 --> 00:49:02.980
 do you,

00:49:02.980 --> 00:49:03.380
 have you,

00:49:03.380 --> 00:49:04.059
 you,

00:49:04.160 --> 00:49:04.720
 and there are

00:49:04.720 --> 00:49:05.340
 technologies out

00:49:05.340 --> 00:49:05.660
 there that you

00:49:05.660 --> 00:49:07.300
 can limit on a

00:49:07.300 --> 00:49:08.420
 phone or a

00:49:08.420 --> 00:49:08.720
 tablet,

00:49:08.980 --> 00:49:09.320
 like you,

00:49:09.400 --> 00:49:10.019
 you can limit

00:49:10.019 --> 00:49:10.800
 it to access

00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:11.240
 to certain

00:49:11.240 --> 00:49:11.780
 things.

00:49:13.400 --> 00:49:14.079
 I mean,

00:49:14.119 --> 00:49:14.519
 we don't,

00:49:14.660 --> 00:49:14.940
 you know,

00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:15.340
 we don't let

00:49:15.340 --> 00:49:15.480
 our,

00:49:15.780 --> 00:49:15.920
 you know,

00:49:15.940 --> 00:49:16.260
 if our kids

00:49:16.260 --> 00:49:16.660
 are watching

00:49:16.660 --> 00:49:17.260
 a movie,

00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:18.820
 it's in the

00:49:18.820 --> 00:49:19.260
 living room

00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:19.860
 or it's in,

00:49:20.340 --> 00:49:20.619
 you know,

00:49:20.940 --> 00:49:21.880
 we don't send

00:49:21.880 --> 00:49:22.260
 our kids up

00:49:22.260 --> 00:49:22.640
 to their room

00:49:22.640 --> 00:49:22.900
 with,

00:49:23.180 --> 00:49:24.420
 you know,

00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:24.660
 with,

00:49:24.780 --> 00:49:25.300
 with a phone

00:49:25.300 --> 00:49:26.200
 to play a

00:49:26.200 --> 00:49:26.500
 game,

00:49:26.700 --> 00:49:27.000
 right?

00:49:27.160 --> 00:49:27.360
 Like,

00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:27.680
 that's,

00:49:27.680 --> 00:49:29.660
 we don't offer

00:49:29.660 --> 00:49:30.200
 that that much

00:49:30.200 --> 00:49:30.400
 anyway.

00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:45.000
 But I think,

00:49:45.119 --> 00:49:45.940
 and I think

00:49:45.940 --> 00:49:46.599
 along with those,

00:49:46.720 --> 00:49:47.420
 I think along

00:49:47.420 --> 00:49:47.720
 with setting

00:49:47.720 --> 00:49:48.400
 wise boundaries,

00:49:48.860 --> 00:49:49.440
 it's also

00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:51.119
 sort of teaching,

00:49:51.340 --> 00:49:51.820
 I think we have

00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:52.400
 to start by

00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:52.840
 teaching our

00:49:52.840 --> 00:49:53.860
 kids what was

00:49:53.860 --> 00:49:54.380
 God's good

00:49:54.380 --> 00:49:55.460
 design in

00:49:55.460 --> 00:49:56.099
 making us male

00:49:56.099 --> 00:49:56.579
 and female,

00:49:56.920 --> 00:49:57.400
 in giving us

00:49:57.400 --> 00:49:57.780
 bodies,

00:49:57.780 --> 00:49:58.760
 and in

00:49:58.760 --> 00:49:59.420
 putting us

00:49:59.420 --> 00:49:59.660
 in this

00:49:59.660 --> 00:49:59.980
 world,

00:50:00.280 --> 00:50:00.860
 right?

00:50:01.120 --> 00:50:02.080
 Because just

00:50:02.080 --> 00:50:02.860
 setting boundaries

00:50:02.860 --> 00:50:03.880
 and trying to

00:50:03.880 --> 00:50:04.000
 say,

00:50:04.100 --> 00:50:04.200
 well,

00:50:04.220 --> 00:50:05.140
 I hope I

00:50:05.140 --> 00:50:05.680
 can protect

00:50:05.680 --> 00:50:06.120
 them from

00:50:06.120 --> 00:50:06.720
 encountering

00:50:06.720 --> 00:50:07.640
 this junk

00:50:07.640 --> 00:50:08.000
 out in the

00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:08.340
 world,

00:50:09.260 --> 00:50:10.320
 we have to

00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:11.340
 equip,

00:50:11.680 --> 00:50:12.480
 eventually children

00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:12.800
 are going to

00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:13.519
 grow up and

00:50:13.519 --> 00:50:14.019
 leave the house

00:50:14.019 --> 00:50:15.519
 and figure out

00:50:15.519 --> 00:50:15.720
 how they're going

00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:16.080
 to live their

00:50:16.080 --> 00:50:16.460
 lives.

00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:17.760
 So I think

00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:18.200
 we have to

00:50:18.200 --> 00:50:19.320
 begin by talking

00:50:19.320 --> 00:50:20.000
 about what is

00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:20.400
 God's good

00:50:20.400 --> 00:50:21.000
 design here?

00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:22.320
 What is beautiful

00:50:22.320 --> 00:50:22.920
 about God's

00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:23.120
 design?

00:50:23.180 --> 00:50:23.560
 Because when we

00:50:23.560 --> 00:50:24.000
 see what's

00:50:24.000 --> 00:50:24.480
 beautiful about

00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:25.019
 God's design,

00:50:25.420 --> 00:50:26.600
 then you see

00:50:26.600 --> 00:50:27.060
 how twisted

00:50:27.059 --> 00:50:27.400
 that the

00:50:27.400 --> 00:50:27.799
 world is.

00:50:28.460 --> 00:50:28.779
 And the

00:50:28.779 --> 00:50:29.199
 other things

00:50:29.199 --> 00:50:29.860
 don't become

00:50:29.860 --> 00:50:30.759
 quite so

00:50:30.759 --> 00:50:33.239
 attractive.

00:50:34.279 --> 00:50:34.779
 And also,

00:50:35.579 --> 00:50:36.420
 you know,

00:50:36.460 --> 00:50:36.900
 it's like,

00:50:37.699 --> 00:50:37.980
 you know,

00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:38.779
 when kids at

00:50:38.779 --> 00:50:39.179
 school start

00:50:39.179 --> 00:50:39.799
 talking about

00:50:39.799 --> 00:50:40.119
 these things,

00:50:40.219 --> 00:50:40.340
 oh,

00:50:40.380 --> 00:50:40.500
 well,

00:50:40.739 --> 00:50:41.019
 okay,

00:50:41.119 --> 00:50:41.500
 I know what

00:50:41.500 --> 00:50:41.840
 they're talking

00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:42.139
 about because

00:50:42.139 --> 00:50:42.519
 my dad

00:50:42.519 --> 00:50:42.940
 already talked

00:50:42.940 --> 00:50:43.320
 to me about

00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:43.659
 that,

00:50:44.099 --> 00:50:44.679
 right?

00:50:45.259 --> 00:50:46.460
 That's what I

00:50:46.460 --> 00:50:46.940
 want my kids

00:50:46.940 --> 00:50:47.559
 to,

00:50:47.739 --> 00:50:47.960
 you know,

00:50:48.039 --> 00:50:48.239
 that's,

00:50:48.539 --> 00:50:49.199
 we've already,

00:50:49.279 --> 00:50:49.420
 you know,

00:50:49.460 --> 00:50:50.219
 we've talked

00:50:50.219 --> 00:50:50.500
 to our kids

00:50:50.500 --> 00:50:50.779
 about all

00:50:50.779 --> 00:50:51.079
 these things.

00:50:51.079 --> 00:50:51.279
 So,

00:50:52.299 --> 00:50:53.659
 Laura?

00:50:53.900 --> 00:50:54.059
 Yeah,

00:50:54.159 --> 00:50:54.659
 this is something

00:50:54.659 --> 00:50:55.440
 that I think,

00:50:55.500 --> 00:50:56.199
 I think the

00:50:56.199 --> 00:50:56.799
 strict things

00:50:56.800 --> 00:50:57.320
 are great,

00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:57.539
 I mean,

00:50:57.560 --> 00:50:57.920
 our kids are

00:50:57.920 --> 00:50:58.500
 still very

00:50:58.500 --> 00:50:58.860
 young,

00:50:59.100 --> 00:51:00.080
 but just

00:51:00.080 --> 00:51:00.640
 from working

00:51:00.640 --> 00:51:01.300
 before with

00:51:01.300 --> 00:51:01.580
 kids and

00:51:01.580 --> 00:51:02.000
 you've like,

00:51:02.240 --> 00:51:02.500
 a mom,

00:51:02.620 --> 00:51:02.860
 you know,

00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:03.400
 like somebody

00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:03.980
 showed them

00:51:03.980 --> 00:51:04.460
 their kids

00:51:04.460 --> 00:51:04.740
 something,

00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:05.500
 you know,

00:51:05.539 --> 00:51:05.860
 like another

00:51:05.860 --> 00:51:06.320
 kid showed

00:51:06.320 --> 00:51:06.519
 them,

00:51:06.640 --> 00:51:08.019
 and someone

00:51:08.019 --> 00:51:08.420
 else saw

00:51:08.420 --> 00:51:08.720
 someone at

00:51:08.720 --> 00:51:09.019
 someone's

00:51:09.019 --> 00:51:09.400
 home by

00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:09.740
 accident.

00:51:10.140 --> 00:51:10.740
 Kids are

00:51:10.740 --> 00:51:11.300
 also going

00:51:11.300 --> 00:51:11.800
 to see it

00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:12.140
 no matter,

00:51:12.860 --> 00:51:13.480
 hopefully not,

00:51:13.580 --> 00:51:14.240
 but it's

00:51:14.240 --> 00:51:14.760
 very easy to

00:51:14.760 --> 00:51:15.560
 be seen no

00:51:15.560 --> 00:51:15.900
 matter how

00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:16.460
 strict we can

00:51:16.460 --> 00:51:16.640
 be.

00:51:16.700 --> 00:51:17.019
 So those

00:51:17.019 --> 00:51:17.620
 conversations

00:51:17.620 --> 00:51:18.880
 that if,

00:51:19.060 --> 00:51:19.240
 when,

00:51:19.300 --> 00:51:19.800
 or if this

00:51:19.800 --> 00:51:20.160
 happens,

00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:20.660
 like,

00:51:21.060 --> 00:51:21.539
 what to do

00:51:21.539 --> 00:51:22.039
 with that?

00:51:22.340 --> 00:51:22.620
 Right,

00:51:22.680 --> 00:51:23.440
 right.

00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:24.159
 If you see,

00:51:24.420 --> 00:51:24.659
 if you,

00:51:24.820 --> 00:51:25.039
 if,

00:51:25.200 --> 00:51:25.500
 you know,

00:51:25.539 --> 00:51:25.860
 if someone

00:51:25.860 --> 00:51:26.400
 shows you

00:51:26.400 --> 00:51:27.039
 something like

00:51:27.039 --> 00:51:27.420
 this,

00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:28.380
 come and talk

00:51:28.380 --> 00:51:28.760
 to,

00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:29.599
 you know,

00:51:29.659 --> 00:51:30.340
 mom or dad,

00:51:30.460 --> 00:51:30.679
 right?

00:51:31.000 --> 00:51:31.320
 Like,

00:51:31.460 --> 00:51:32.139
 that's important

00:51:32.139 --> 00:51:32.740
 to sort of

00:51:32.740 --> 00:51:34.000
 cultivate an

00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:34.500
 open channel

00:51:34.500 --> 00:51:35.099
 of communication

00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:36.059
 with all kinds

00:51:36.059 --> 00:51:36.460
 of things,

00:51:36.720 --> 00:51:37.059
 you know?

00:51:37.460 --> 00:51:37.980
 Not only,

00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:38.539
 you know,

00:51:38.579 --> 00:51:38.980
 not only

00:51:38.980 --> 00:51:39.440
 inappropriate

00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:39.780
 images,

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:40.119
 but,

00:51:40.119 --> 00:51:42.460
 you know,

00:51:42.619 --> 00:51:43.199
 we want

00:51:43.199 --> 00:51:43.940
 our kids to,

00:51:44.019 --> 00:51:44.239
 we don't

00:51:44.239 --> 00:51:45.000
 cultivate our

00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:45.579
 kids talking

00:51:45.579 --> 00:51:46.119
 with us about

00:51:46.119 --> 00:51:46.599
 whatever they

00:51:46.599 --> 00:51:47.239
 may encounter

00:51:47.239 --> 00:51:49.559
 in the world

00:51:49.559 --> 00:51:50.480
 and,

00:51:50.599 --> 00:51:51.420
 and for us

00:51:51.420 --> 00:51:51.859
 to help them

00:51:51.859 --> 00:51:52.400
 grow in wisdom

00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:54.440
 and to protect

00:51:54.440 --> 00:51:54.880
 them from,

00:51:55.139 --> 00:51:55.480
 you know,

00:51:55.880 --> 00:51:56.099
 foolish,

00:51:56.239 --> 00:51:56.819
 and to not

00:51:56.819 --> 00:51:57.699
 foolishly expose

00:51:57.699 --> 00:51:58.440
 them unnecessarily

00:51:58.440 --> 00:51:58.940
 to things,

00:51:59.079 --> 00:51:59.299
 right?

00:51:59.739 --> 00:52:00.159
 So,

00:52:00.519 --> 00:52:00.679
 yeah.

00:52:01.179 --> 00:52:01.519
 Ivor.

00:52:02.739 --> 00:52:03.460
 When I was

00:52:03.460 --> 00:52:03.960
 working at

00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:04.759
 AT&T,

00:52:05.699 --> 00:52:06.119
 we had at

00:52:06.119 --> 00:52:06.559
 least five

00:52:06.559 --> 00:52:07.480
 guys who got

00:52:07.480 --> 00:52:08.920
 fired over

00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:09.839
 surfing,

00:52:10.119 --> 00:52:10.659
 at work.

00:52:11.279 --> 00:52:11.480
 Yeah.

00:52:11.659 --> 00:52:12.380
 And that's

00:52:12.380 --> 00:52:13.659
 usually when

00:52:13.659 --> 00:52:14.239
 people get

00:52:14.239 --> 00:52:15.299
 caught doing

00:52:15.299 --> 00:52:15.759
 something,

00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:16.859
 either at

00:52:16.859 --> 00:52:17.579
 work or

00:52:17.579 --> 00:52:18.619
 by their

00:52:18.619 --> 00:52:19.679
 spouses or

00:52:19.679 --> 00:52:20.699
 children in

00:52:20.699 --> 00:52:21.359
 some cases.

00:52:21.759 --> 00:52:21.960
 Yeah.

00:52:22.039 --> 00:52:22.900
 When they

00:52:22.900 --> 00:52:23.539
 seek help,

00:52:23.739 --> 00:52:24.279
 don't wait

00:52:24.279 --> 00:52:24.719
 for that.

00:52:24.980 --> 00:52:25.259
 Right.

00:52:25.960 --> 00:52:26.279
 Right.

00:52:26.739 --> 00:52:27.440
 Seek help.

00:52:27.579 --> 00:52:27.819
 Right.

00:52:28.519 --> 00:52:29.079
 Again,

00:52:29.199 --> 00:52:29.799
 it's that

00:52:29.799 --> 00:52:30.339
 pattern of

00:52:30.339 --> 00:52:31.420
 it's probably

00:52:31.420 --> 00:52:31.920
 didn't start

00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:32.380
 on the office

00:52:32.380 --> 00:52:32.759
 computer,

00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:35.059
 but it's,

00:52:35.219 --> 00:52:36.099
 it just

00:52:36.099 --> 00:52:36.619
 grows,

00:52:37.139 --> 00:52:37.480
 right?

00:52:37.900 --> 00:52:38.299
 So,

00:52:38.920 --> 00:52:39.239
 yeah.

00:52:40.119 --> 00:52:41.339
 be killing

00:52:41.339 --> 00:52:41.940
 sin or

00:52:41.940 --> 00:52:42.179
 it will

00:52:42.179 --> 00:52:42.559
 be killing

00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:42.819
 you,

00:52:43.019 --> 00:52:43.239
 right?

00:52:43.659 --> 00:52:44.059
 John Owen

00:52:44.059 --> 00:52:44.400
 said that

00:52:44.400 --> 00:52:44.859
 300 years

00:52:44.859 --> 00:52:45.059
 ago.

00:52:46.259 --> 00:52:46.480
 So,

00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:47.839
 you know,

00:52:48.059 --> 00:52:48.400
 we're,

00:52:48.400 --> 00:52:50.839
 yeah,

00:52:51.579 --> 00:52:51.839
 right?

00:52:51.900 --> 00:52:52.259
 We're either

00:52:52.259 --> 00:52:52.699
 sort of

00:52:52.699 --> 00:52:53.460
 actively fighting

00:52:53.460 --> 00:52:54.000
 against it

00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:54.460
 or it will

00:52:54.460 --> 00:52:55.420
 gradually tend

00:52:55.420 --> 00:52:56.859
 to balloon,

00:52:57.279 --> 00:52:57.880
 right?

00:52:57.980 --> 00:52:59.639
 Because it's

00:52:59.639 --> 00:53:00.079
 not something

00:53:00.079 --> 00:53:00.799
 that is,

00:53:01.239 --> 00:53:02.779
 that sort of

00:53:02.779 --> 00:53:03.480
 gets satisfied.

00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:07.139
 what's your

00:53:07.139 --> 00:53:07.840
 definition of

00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:08.300
 pornography

00:53:08.300 --> 00:53:08.679
 at the

00:53:08.679 --> 00:53:09.380
 beginning of

00:53:09.380 --> 00:53:10.380
 removing sexual

00:53:10.380 --> 00:53:11.079
 acts from the

00:53:11.079 --> 00:53:11.599
 intimacy of

00:53:11.599 --> 00:53:12.219
 partners for

00:53:12.219 --> 00:53:12.480
 the,

00:53:12.820 --> 00:53:13.679
 being played

00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:14.579
 for other

00:53:14.579 --> 00:53:14.860
 people?

00:53:15.260 --> 00:53:15.659
 How would

00:53:15.659 --> 00:53:16.380
 you distinguish

00:53:16.380 --> 00:53:17.480
 pornography from

00:53:17.480 --> 00:53:18.500
 like Song of

00:53:18.500 --> 00:53:19.460
 Solomon where we

00:53:19.460 --> 00:53:20.880
 see sexuality

00:53:20.880 --> 00:53:21.639
 being portrayed

00:53:21.639 --> 00:53:22.340
 artistically?

00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:23.679
 Yeah,

00:53:24.039 --> 00:53:24.300
 yeah.

00:53:24.500 --> 00:53:24.800
 I mean,

00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:25.360
 I think when you

00:53:25.360 --> 00:53:26.000
 read Song of

00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:26.400
 Solomon,

00:53:26.960 --> 00:53:27.740
 there's,

00:53:27.739 --> 00:53:29.659
 there's a lot

00:53:29.659 --> 00:53:30.139
 of imagery

00:53:30.139 --> 00:53:32.439
 and,

00:53:33.359 --> 00:53:35.279
 how would I

00:53:35.279 --> 00:53:35.879
 describe that?

00:53:37.379 --> 00:53:37.939
 So,

00:53:38.099 --> 00:53:39.159
 it celebrates

00:53:39.159 --> 00:53:39.779
 God's good

00:53:39.779 --> 00:53:40.219
 and beautiful

00:53:40.219 --> 00:53:40.759
 design,

00:53:41.299 --> 00:53:41.599
 right?

00:53:41.859 --> 00:53:42.419
 So,

00:53:42.559 --> 00:53:43.079
 we're not

00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:44.299
 saying that

00:53:44.299 --> 00:53:44.939
 your body's

00:53:44.939 --> 00:53:46.039
 dirty and

00:53:46.039 --> 00:53:46.819
 you need to

00:53:46.819 --> 00:53:48.079
 hide it and

00:53:48.079 --> 00:53:49.659
 not talk about

00:53:49.659 --> 00:53:50.439
 it and

00:53:50.439 --> 00:53:52.139
 I guess when

00:53:52.139 --> 00:53:52.699
 you get married

00:53:52.699 --> 00:53:53.179
 then you can

00:53:53.179 --> 00:53:53.639
 figure out what

00:53:53.639 --> 00:53:54.199
 to do with it.

00:53:55.139 --> 00:53:55.919
 That's not,

00:53:56.039 --> 00:53:56.739
 that's not,

00:53:56.779 --> 00:53:57.559
 that's not good.

00:53:57.559 --> 00:53:58.059
 That's not,

00:53:58.059 --> 00:53:58.679
 that's not God's,

00:53:58.679 --> 00:53:59.460
 that's not God's

00:53:59.460 --> 00:53:59.840
 good and beautiful

00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:00.199
 design,

00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:00.619
 right?

00:54:01.159 --> 00:54:01.699
 So,

00:54:01.900 --> 00:54:02.400
 Song of Solomon

00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:04.559
 sort of talks

00:54:04.559 --> 00:54:07.440
 about love

00:54:07.440 --> 00:54:07.980
 and,

00:54:07.980 --> 00:54:09.299
 and a sexually

00:54:09.299 --> 00:54:10.199
 intimate relationship

00:54:10.199 --> 00:54:12.199
 but it,

00:54:12.199 --> 00:54:13.440
 it's also not

00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:14.340
 voyeuristic,

00:54:14.699 --> 00:54:14.980
 right?

00:54:15.019 --> 00:54:16.000
 It's not something

00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.500
 that is sort of

00:54:17.500 --> 00:54:19.259
 inciting lust,

00:54:19.719 --> 00:54:21.239
 you know,

00:54:21.460 --> 00:54:21.900
 it's,

00:54:22.039 --> 00:54:23.179
 it's not

00:54:23.179 --> 00:54:25.840
 stirring up

00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:26.940
 sort of an

00:54:26.940 --> 00:54:27.519
 ungodly

00:54:27.519 --> 00:54:27.940
 kind of

00:54:27.940 --> 00:54:28.480
 curiosity

00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:29.320
 or shame.

00:54:31.900 --> 00:54:32.380
 I mean,

00:54:32.420 --> 00:54:32.619
 the most

00:54:32.619 --> 00:54:33.059
 difficult thing

00:54:33.059 --> 00:54:33.400
 about Song

00:54:33.400 --> 00:54:33.720
 of Solomon

00:54:33.720 --> 00:54:34.099
 for most

00:54:34.099 --> 00:54:34.360
 of us

00:54:34.360 --> 00:54:34.780
 is like

00:54:34.780 --> 00:54:35.539
 all the

00:54:35.539 --> 00:54:35.780
 imagery

00:54:35.780 --> 00:54:36.340
 is from

00:54:36.340 --> 00:54:36.599
 the ancient

00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:36.900
 world

00:54:36.900 --> 00:54:37.179
 and we

00:54:37.179 --> 00:54:37.480
 can't figure

00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:37.659
 out what

00:54:37.659 --> 00:54:37.820
 to do

00:54:37.820 --> 00:54:38.139
 with it,

00:54:38.240 --> 00:54:38.440
 right?

00:54:38.500 --> 00:54:38.760
 So,

00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:39.480
 part of it

00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:39.720
 we have to

00:54:39.720 --> 00:54:40.000
 figure out

00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:40.200
 like,

00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:41.240
 you know,

00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:41.619
 okay,

00:54:41.679 --> 00:54:41.900
 what does

00:54:41.900 --> 00:54:42.360
 this actually

00:54:42.360 --> 00:54:42.780
 mean?

00:54:42.780 --> 00:54:45.160
 but,

00:54:45.280 --> 00:54:45.840
 but I think

00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:46.880
 broadly speaking

00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:48.160
 I think

00:54:48.160 --> 00:54:48.780
 Song of Solomon

00:54:48.780 --> 00:54:51.220
 affirms that

00:54:51.220 --> 00:54:51.580
 there's a

00:54:51.580 --> 00:54:52.400
 right place

00:54:52.400 --> 00:54:54.100
 to celebrate,

00:54:54.100 --> 00:54:57.480
 you know,

00:54:57.519 --> 00:54:57.920
 and even in

00:54:57.920 --> 00:54:58.360
 that case

00:54:58.360 --> 00:54:58.720
 sort of

00:54:58.720 --> 00:54:59.360
 depict in

00:54:59.360 --> 00:54:59.840
 poetry,

00:55:00.560 --> 00:55:00.780
 right,

00:55:00.900 --> 00:55:01.640
 the love

00:55:01.640 --> 00:55:02.040
 and intimacy

00:55:02.040 --> 00:55:04.100
 between a

00:55:04.100 --> 00:55:04.440
 male and

00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:04.780
 female,

00:55:04.780 --> 00:55:08.700
 but it's

00:55:08.700 --> 00:55:09.060
 not,

00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:10.580
 it's not

00:55:10.580 --> 00:55:11.120
 in a way

00:55:11.120 --> 00:55:11.519
 that sort

00:55:11.519 --> 00:55:12.060
 of promotes

00:55:12.060 --> 00:55:12.900
 like impurity

00:55:12.900 --> 00:55:13.660
 or sensuality

00:55:13.660 --> 00:55:14.260
 and in fact

00:55:14.260 --> 00:55:14.760
 at the end

00:55:14.760 --> 00:55:15.400
 of the Song

00:55:15.400 --> 00:55:15.780
 of Solomon

00:55:15.780 --> 00:55:16.100
 it's like,

00:55:16.200 --> 00:55:16.360
 I mean,

00:55:16.420 --> 00:55:16.780
 throughout the

00:55:16.780 --> 00:55:17.260
 Song of Solomon

00:55:17.260 --> 00:55:17.480
 it's like,

00:55:17.640 --> 00:55:18.040
 don't awaken

00:55:18.040 --> 00:55:18.540
 love until

00:55:18.540 --> 00:55:19.200
 it so desires,

00:55:19.320 --> 00:55:19.540
 right?

00:55:19.940 --> 00:55:20.140
 You know,

00:55:20.220 --> 00:55:20.960
 at chapter 8

00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:21.540
 it's all about

00:55:21.540 --> 00:55:22.640
 be a wall,

00:55:22.960 --> 00:55:23.180
 right?

00:55:23.280 --> 00:55:23.820
 Don't be a

00:55:23.820 --> 00:55:24.560
 door opening

00:55:24.560 --> 00:55:25.600
 and,

00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:26.080
 you know,

00:55:26.220 --> 00:55:26.780
 like to open

00:55:26.780 --> 00:55:27.280
 to everybody.

00:55:27.560 --> 00:55:27.780
 No,

00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:28.680
 be a wall

00:55:28.680 --> 00:55:29.880
 like until

00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:31.280
 you get

00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:31.660
 married,

00:55:31.780 --> 00:55:32.040
 right?

00:55:32.240 --> 00:55:32.620
 So,

00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:33.740
 even the end

00:55:33.740 --> 00:55:34.440
 of Song of Solomon

00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:36.900
 sort of gives

00:55:36.900 --> 00:55:37.460
 that warning

00:55:37.460 --> 00:55:38.079
 against,

00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:40.019
 you know,

00:55:40.079 --> 00:55:40.440
 and it sort

00:55:40.440 --> 00:55:40.840
 of compares

00:55:40.840 --> 00:55:41.440
 itself to,

00:55:41.559 --> 00:55:41.700
 you know,

00:55:41.780 --> 00:55:42.539
 Solomon has

00:55:42.539 --> 00:55:43.840
 all his wives

00:55:43.840 --> 00:55:44.820
 and concubines

00:55:44.820 --> 00:55:45.920
 but I have

00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:46.460
 my one,

00:55:47.019 --> 00:55:47.360
 right?

00:55:47.599 --> 00:55:48.420
 My one is

00:55:48.420 --> 00:55:48.780
 better than

00:55:48.780 --> 00:55:49.400
 all of those,

00:55:49.619 --> 00:55:49.860
 right?

00:55:50.240 --> 00:55:50.579
 So,

00:55:50.760 --> 00:55:52.220
 it's promoting

00:55:52.220 --> 00:55:53.240
 sort of godly

00:55:53.240 --> 00:55:53.760
 ideals,

00:55:54.039 --> 00:55:54.220
 right?

00:55:54.300 --> 00:55:54.780
 Monogamy,

00:55:55.079 --> 00:55:55.519
 marriage,

00:55:57.500 --> 00:55:58.420
 sort of tender

00:55:58.420 --> 00:55:59.519
 intimacy between

00:55:59.519 --> 00:56:00.119
 husband and

00:56:00.119 --> 00:56:00.400
 wife.

00:56:02.280 --> 00:56:02.800
 So,

00:56:03.000 --> 00:56:03.840
 I don't think

00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:04.220
 that's the right

00:56:04.219 --> 00:56:04.699
 place to start

00:56:04.699 --> 00:56:05.119
 with teaching

00:56:05.119 --> 00:56:05.459
 children.

00:56:05.980 --> 00:56:06.179
 I think

00:56:06.179 --> 00:56:07.419
 that's not,

00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:07.919
 you know,

00:56:08.139 --> 00:56:09.399
 there was

00:56:09.399 --> 00:56:10.000
 probably some

00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:10.619
 wisdom in the

00:56:10.619 --> 00:56:11.399
 Jewish rabbinical

00:56:11.399 --> 00:56:12.019
 tradition that

00:56:12.019 --> 00:56:12.239
 said,

00:56:12.480 --> 00:56:12.659
 you know,

00:56:12.699 --> 00:56:13.019
 don't read

00:56:13.019 --> 00:56:13.519
 Song of Songs

00:56:13.519 --> 00:56:13.959
 until you're

00:56:13.959 --> 00:56:14.459
 an adult.

00:56:15.519 --> 00:56:16.159
 I don't know,

00:56:16.319 --> 00:56:16.579
 I wouldn't,

00:56:16.779 --> 00:56:17.379
 I'm not gonna,

00:56:17.739 --> 00:56:18.419
 that's not a law,

00:56:18.519 --> 00:56:18.879
 but there's

00:56:18.879 --> 00:56:19.299
 probably some

00:56:19.299 --> 00:56:21.079
 wisdom in there,

00:56:21.219 --> 00:56:22.719
 but I think it

00:56:22.719 --> 00:56:23.279
 can teach us,

00:56:23.659 --> 00:56:23.739
 sort of,

00:56:23.799 --> 00:56:24.480
 I think it can

00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:24.779
 give us a

00:56:24.779 --> 00:56:25.379
 positive example

00:56:25.379 --> 00:56:26.259
 of that.

00:56:26.819 --> 00:56:26.839
 So,

00:56:27.500 --> 00:56:28.359
 all right,

00:56:28.419 --> 00:56:28.799
 let me close

00:56:28.799 --> 00:56:29.099
 the prayer

00:56:29.099 --> 00:56:30.619
 when we need

00:56:30.619 --> 00:56:30.819
 to head

00:56:30.819 --> 00:56:31.219
 upstairs.

00:56:31.219 --> 00:56:33.019
 Thank you,

00:56:33.079 --> 00:56:33.159
 Lord,

00:56:33.259 --> 00:56:34.039
 for this

00:56:34.039 --> 00:56:34.339
 morning,

00:56:34.519 --> 00:56:35.259
 and we

00:56:35.259 --> 00:56:35.879
 pray that

00:56:35.879 --> 00:56:36.279
 you would

00:56:36.279 --> 00:56:36.719
 help us

00:56:36.719 --> 00:56:37.199
 as a church,

00:56:37.279 --> 00:56:37.599
 help us

00:56:37.599 --> 00:56:37.839
 to,

00:56:38.379 --> 00:56:38.679
 in teaching

00:56:38.679 --> 00:56:39.099
 our children,

00:56:39.219 --> 00:56:39.480
 help us

00:56:39.480 --> 00:56:39.919
 in strengthening

00:56:39.919 --> 00:56:40.439
 one another

00:56:40.439 --> 00:56:41.619
 to pursue

00:56:41.619 --> 00:56:42.459
 a life of

00:56:42.459 --> 00:56:43.000
 holiness in

00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:43.459
 this area

00:56:43.459 --> 00:56:44.480
 that gives

00:56:44.480 --> 00:56:44.939
 honor and

00:56:44.939 --> 00:56:45.459
 praise to

00:56:45.459 --> 00:56:45.699
 you.

00:56:46.179 --> 00:56:46.639
 We thank

00:56:46.639 --> 00:56:46.980
 you for

00:56:46.980 --> 00:56:48.119
 the redemptive

00:56:48.119 --> 00:56:48.679
 work of

00:56:48.679 --> 00:56:49.319
 Jesus Christ,

00:56:49.459 --> 00:56:50.159
 and we pray

00:56:50.159 --> 00:56:50.599
 that you would

00:56:50.599 --> 00:56:51.139
 continue that

00:56:51.139 --> 00:56:51.619
 work in our

00:56:51.619 --> 00:56:52.299
 lives and in

00:56:52.299 --> 00:56:52.819
 our marriages

00:56:52.819 --> 00:56:53.459
 and in our

00:56:53.459 --> 00:56:55.079
 relationships with

00:56:55.079 --> 00:56:55.559
 one another

00:56:55.559 --> 00:56:56.739
 in the church.

00:56:57.059 --> 00:56:57.359
 In Jesus'

00:56:57.359 --> 00:56:57.619
 name,

00:56:57.619 --> 00:56:57.900
 amen.