WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.480 You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:10.620 Our passion is to experience and express grace. Join us. 00:00:12.700 --> 00:00:16.899 A couple of things about next Sunday before we jump in this morning. 00:00:17.100 --> 00:00:22.600 Next Sunday is scheduled to be Chad's last Sunday on staff here at Southwood. 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:30.080 There will be a brief congregational meeting after the service to handle some of the details of that. 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:37.320 But please pray for their family as they prepare to transition to Florida and the pastoral call that he has there. 00:00:37.400 --> 00:00:43.359 Please be praying for them and please join us after the worship service next Sunday for that meeting. 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:47.600 Next Sunday will also be the final sermon in this series. 00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:53.800 Series we've been having this little mini-series on marriage and the family within the book of Ephesians. 00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:58.539 It's a passage next week that speaks directly to children and to parents. 00:00:59.100 --> 00:01:02.240 So parents, the sermon will be intentionally a little bit shorter. 00:01:02.740 --> 00:01:05.840 You glad for that? Yeah? You're excited? You'll be here next week. 00:01:06.260 --> 00:01:10.040 It'll be a little bit shorter and more specifically geared towards children. 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:16.599 They will get to come and be in here and also hear what God's Word has to say to their parents. 00:01:16.599 --> 00:01:18.119 So a couple of things. 00:01:18.259 --> 00:01:21.919 One is kids' worship will not take place next week because of this. 00:01:22.479 --> 00:01:24.199 So bring your kids with you. 00:01:24.280 --> 00:01:30.199 I knew none of you would want your kindergartners, first graders to miss out on hearing obey your parents. 00:01:30.679 --> 00:01:33.799 I didn't want mine to miss, so they'll be in here with us. 00:01:33.899 --> 00:01:39.479 Consider sitting a little closer or telling them to pay particular attention next week 00:01:39.479 --> 00:01:43.219 as they get to hear words to them and to you in the same passage. 00:01:43.359 --> 00:01:46.139 God's Word speaks to them directly and that's exciting. 00:01:46.140 --> 00:01:48.340 I want them to be a part of that. 00:01:49.739 --> 00:01:55.319 Don't forget the following Tuesday as well, we have a Pastors on the Patio lunch conversation about marriage 00:01:55.319 --> 00:01:58.239 so we can sit down and discuss some of these issues together. 00:01:59.060 --> 00:02:05.040 I can't address every situation up here, but I'd love to sit down and talk about them with you. 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:07.000 So that's Tuesday, September 1st. 00:02:07.460 --> 00:02:09.219 Please join us for that. 00:02:09.219 --> 00:02:17.120 Before we read this section on marriage relationships one more time, let me remind us of the story that it's telling. 00:02:17.579 --> 00:02:21.020 The story that God says marriage is really about. 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:25.099 We said that first week, marriage is not first and foremost about us. 00:02:25.099 --> 00:02:32.439 It's about telling the glorious story of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church. 00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:35.459 As that story goes, there's a princess. 00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:39.359 One who is created and intended for greatness. 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:42.979 To be beautiful and have a significant role. 00:02:42.979 --> 00:02:49.099 But she's lost and abandoned and forlorn. 00:02:49.659 --> 00:02:50.879 She's in need of rescue. 00:02:51.500 --> 00:02:53.120 And there's also a prince. 00:02:53.239 --> 00:02:55.079 In this story, it's the prince of heaven. 00:02:55.399 --> 00:02:59.759 Jesus who steps down from His throne and comes on a rescue mission. 00:03:00.359 --> 00:03:02.239 To seek that lost princess. 00:03:02.459 --> 00:03:03.879 To rescue her. 00:03:04.819 --> 00:03:08.839 To restore to her the beauty and the glory for which she was created. 00:03:09.399 --> 00:03:11.859 And He does that at great cost to Himself, right? 00:03:11.860 --> 00:03:19.680 He marries her and she delights in His love and lives in intimate relationship with Him happily ever after. 00:03:20.340 --> 00:03:20.620 Forever. 00:03:21.860 --> 00:03:23.020 That's the story. 00:03:23.820 --> 00:03:30.340 And we've said that the highest purpose of our marriages, God's grand design, what He's about in marriage, 00:03:30.660 --> 00:03:32.940 is for us to tell that story. 00:03:33.880 --> 00:03:40.120 To put on display for all to see the remarkable relationship between Christ and the church. 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:45.039 So we talked last week about how Paul tells husbands to be storytellers. 00:03:45.640 --> 00:03:50.539 To fill their role of leading through sacrificial love. 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:57.719 It was hard enough on the husbands last week that many of their wives told me they were going to skip this morning. 00:03:58.439 --> 00:04:00.719 So that may or may not be the case. 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:04.139 But today we are going to focus on wives. 00:04:04.139 --> 00:04:11.319 How they too are to be storytellers of this great story that the world so needs to hear. 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:15.020 Let's give our attention to the reading of God's Word. 00:04:15.939 --> 00:04:16.800 It is true. 00:04:17.139 --> 00:04:20.660 The only thing you can absolutely count on. 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:25.540 His Word is authoritative because it is His Word. 00:04:25.540 --> 00:04:28.020 The Word of our God and King. 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:34.400 And it is needful for us because He created us and He invented marriage. 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:37.939 So He's going to tell us how He designed it to work. 00:04:38.700 --> 00:04:40.320 And that will be for our good. 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:43.020 Let's read Ephesians 5 at verse 22. 00:04:43.019 --> 00:05:13.000 Verse 22. 00:05:13.019 --> 00:05:43.000 Verse 22. 00:05:43.019 --> 00:05:47.859 This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:05:49.139 --> 00:05:55.539 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:05:56.399 --> 00:05:57.139 Pray with me. 00:05:59.379 --> 00:06:01.299 Father, these are Your words. 00:06:02.839 --> 00:06:08.539 And so we trust that You by Your Spirit will use them to guide and direct us. 00:06:08.540 --> 00:06:12.580 May we find ourselves submissive to Your Word. 00:06:12.580 --> 00:06:14.200 All of us this morning. 00:06:14.340 --> 00:06:16.160 We are not above it. 00:06:16.260 --> 00:06:18.000 We don't stand in judgment on it. 00:06:18.100 --> 00:06:19.760 We stand under it. 00:06:20.060 --> 00:06:22.560 And we ask that we would be blessed by it. 00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:27.000 That You would give us great blessing in knowing You better. 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.720 Father, in knowing Your love for us in new ways this morning. 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:36.020 And that Jesus would be glorified as we talk about this passage together. 00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:41.020 Father, will You do that because You love Your church dearly. 00:06:41.640 --> 00:06:43.440 So we ask it in Jesus' name. 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:44.500 Amen. 00:06:47.500 --> 00:06:54.199 Imagine for a minute this morning that you went to see a production of the wonderful musical Les Mis. 00:06:54.399 --> 00:06:55.399 Anybody like Les Mis? 00:06:55.819 --> 00:06:57.139 It's a great musical. 00:06:57.139 --> 00:07:01.879 A wonderful story of law and grace. 00:07:02.199 --> 00:07:04.199 Of mercy and justice. 00:07:04.779 --> 00:07:08.419 Of the ex-con turned mayor Jean Valjean. 00:07:09.019 --> 00:07:11.259 The hardened policeman Javert. 00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:14.019 It's a great, great story. 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:18.579 Imagine though that you go to this production of it and it's wonderful. 00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:19.500 You're loving it. 00:07:19.699 --> 00:07:25.319 The actor portraying Valjean and the actor portraying Javert are doing a great job. 00:07:25.319 --> 00:07:26.599 They're wonderful singers. 00:07:27.599 --> 00:07:34.240 Then about halfway through the production, they decide that they want to start playing a little bit of each other's roles. 00:07:35.180 --> 00:07:41.560 You know, the guy playing Javert thinks he can hit that high note just a little bit better than Valjean. 00:07:41.699 --> 00:07:43.379 And so he sings that song. 00:07:44.539 --> 00:07:51.060 And then the guy playing Valjean thinks he can really capture the angst of Javert's solo. 00:07:51.060 --> 00:07:55.839 And so he just sings it for him right in the middle of the play. 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.360 Now, for those of you who love it, that would be awful, wouldn't it? 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:01.319 Can you imagine that? 00:08:01.579 --> 00:08:03.680 These two guys have brought us this far. 00:08:03.899 --> 00:08:05.379 We've built up the tension. 00:08:05.540 --> 00:08:06.840 We understand the story. 00:08:07.060 --> 00:08:09.259 And now, y'all just ruined the story. 00:08:09.379 --> 00:08:10.800 I mean, it's so confusing now. 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:12.439 I don't even know who stands for what. 00:08:12.439 --> 00:08:15.660 But they may both be great singers. 00:08:15.899 --> 00:08:23.959 They may sing the songs beautifully, but you've lost the beauty of the story and the confusion of who is who, haven't you? 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:29.519 You need someone to play each role well in order to have the full story. 00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:34.980 You need Cinderella and Prince Charming, not two of either of them. 00:08:36.299 --> 00:08:39.159 And God says that's vital in marriage too. 00:08:39.820 --> 00:08:41.299 We have a story to tell. 00:08:41.299 --> 00:08:45.019 Well, the distinction in our roles then is important. 00:08:45.219 --> 00:08:45.939 It's not random. 00:08:46.659 --> 00:08:47.719 It's not meaningless. 00:08:48.719 --> 00:08:53.479 And losing those distinctions loses the beauty of the story that's being told. 00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:58.740 So the passage says husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. 00:08:59.139 --> 00:09:02.159 They're to play the role of Jesus in that sense. 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:12.879 And then this morning, as the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands, playing the role of the church within the marriage. 00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:17.899 And I want to talk about the beauty and the glory of that arrangement this morning. 00:09:17.899 --> 00:09:25.079 To have those two complementary roles come together in such a way that the story is told beautifully and it's glorious. 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:45.360 But we have to acknowledge up front that because of the confusion of our culture, because of the sin in our own hearts and lives, this idea has been twisted and ridiculed into something that is not beautiful and glorious, but rather ugly and shameful. 00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:53.840 The idea of a husband and wife in complementary roles is often not thought well of these days. 00:09:53.840 --> 00:10:03.360 And I hope that we can clarify and demystify some of the confusion around the idea of biblical submission this morning. 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:08.399 In order to do that, it's important to remember a couple of things up front. 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:18.940 For men and women, husbands and wives, our value, our significance comes first from being created equally in God's image. 00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:20.400 Genesis 1.27 00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:23.059 God created man in His own image. 00:10:23.399 --> 00:10:27.319 In the image of God, He created him male and female. 00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:30.740 He created them equally in God's image. 00:10:31.059 --> 00:10:36.079 Men and women are uniquely valuable in God's creation above all else in the creation. 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:39.879 The one thing created in His image, man and woman. 00:10:40.459 --> 00:10:46.039 And so they share worth that comes from being in the image of the creator of the universe. 00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:54.639 And then even as God begins to restore His broken and fallen creation through the redemption of Jesus, 00:10:55.480 --> 00:10:56.459 what do we find out? 00:10:56.599 --> 00:10:58.759 Is our identity then in what we do? 00:10:58.919 --> 00:11:02.339 At that point, do we get significance from how we perform? 00:11:02.500 --> 00:11:02.819 No. 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:05.439 Is it from our social status? 00:11:06.319 --> 00:11:06.719 No. 00:11:07.439 --> 00:11:09.279 From our religious activity? 00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:11.439 No. 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:18.160 As all of Ephesians has told us, our new identity comes from being connected to Christ. 00:11:18.680 --> 00:11:21.900 In Christ is our new identity. 00:11:22.040 --> 00:11:23.440 Galatians 3.28 00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:27.960 There's neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, male nor female. 00:11:28.340 --> 00:11:30.780 You are all one in Christ Jesus. 00:11:30.779 --> 00:11:37.639 The value and worth and significance that we have comes from being created in the image of God 00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:40.519 and redeemed and connected in Christ. 00:11:41.199 --> 00:11:46.519 Being united in Christ brings a commonality and identity and worth 00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:53.919 that far outweighs ethnic or social or gender differences before God. 00:11:54.059 --> 00:11:55.639 That is vitally important. 00:11:55.639 --> 00:11:57.500 We must remember that. 00:11:57.819 --> 00:12:02.000 Men and women in God's image, in Christ, together. 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:04.139 So important. 00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:08.819 And so when God's Word speaks of gender distinctives as vital, 00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:11.919 and this passage does do that, it's not unclear. 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:15.679 It can't be speaking to value differences. 00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:21.480 The distinctives can be vital, but they can't be about value. 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:24.240 Value was established already. 00:12:24.860 --> 00:12:26.120 Not by the unique role. 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:31.360 Value was held in common as image bearers, as children of the king. 00:12:32.200 --> 00:12:34.720 So both of the singers are fantastic. 00:12:35.139 --> 00:12:37.519 Together they're going to tell a beautiful story, right? 00:12:37.920 --> 00:12:39.000 They're both valuable. 00:12:40.220 --> 00:12:42.180 Think of a basketball team, for example. 00:12:42.779 --> 00:12:46.019 On most teams, some guys shoot the ball more than others. 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:48.519 Some of them pass the ball more than others. 00:12:48.779 --> 00:12:50.899 Some of them rebound better than others. 00:12:50.899 --> 00:12:55.019 But on the best teams, you really have a hard time telling which of those 00:12:55.019 --> 00:12:57.179 is the most valuable player on the team, don't you? 00:12:57.500 --> 00:12:58.919 You need all of them. 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:01.919 It's the same way in the body of Christ. 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:07.120 There are different parts that have different gifts and play different roles in the body, 00:13:07.259 --> 00:13:09.100 but the eye can't say to the foot, 00:13:09.179 --> 00:13:10.000 I don't need you. 00:13:10.220 --> 00:13:11.819 I'm more valuable than you. 00:13:13.799 --> 00:13:15.159 When you're singing a duet, 00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:20.360 one voice may be on the melody line and the other on the harmony line. 00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:22.580 Did you hear James and Kayla just then? 00:13:23.460 --> 00:13:25.080 It's a beautiful song, right? 00:13:25.519 --> 00:13:31.259 A great duet, but both of those voices are absolutely vital to the beautiful song. 00:13:31.539 --> 00:13:33.120 They must complement each other. 00:13:33.680 --> 00:13:36.580 Otherwise, even if they're both wonderful, if they don't work together, 00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:40.519 the beauty of the song, the beauty of the story is lost. 00:13:41.240 --> 00:13:42.100 Think about that. 00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:45.399 In all those examples, and there are many, many others you could come up with, 00:13:45.399 --> 00:13:49.980 beauty and success is achieved by complementing each other, 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:52.159 not by competing with each other. 00:13:53.159 --> 00:13:54.840 That's God's design in marriage. 00:13:55.480 --> 00:13:57.279 Gender distinctives are vital. 00:13:57.720 --> 00:13:59.259 That's the way He designed it, 00:13:59.319 --> 00:14:00.980 for them to complement each other. 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:03.799 But they don't impact one's value. 00:14:05.379 --> 00:14:07.179 There's a lot of overlap, even in the roles, 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:10.120 the specific roles between husband and wife. 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:12.299 Of course, both should love. 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:14.019 Both should serve. 00:14:14.220 --> 00:14:17.200 Both should respect and seek the good of the other. 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:19.259 That's the way God's designed marriage, 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:22.340 is for us to be seeking the good of the other. 00:14:22.440 --> 00:14:24.279 But there are clearly differences too. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:29.220 Particular reasons that we are to play particular roles uniquely 00:14:29.220 --> 00:14:32.500 in order to tell the great story. 00:14:33.580 --> 00:14:35.000 And that's what it's about, right? 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:38.080 Telling that story, not about us. 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.520 It's about telling the story of God's love for His church 00:14:41.520 --> 00:14:45.660 and the church's joy in response to what God has done for her. 00:14:47.240 --> 00:14:52.820 So last week, we saw the husband's role as head was sacrificial love. 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:56.759 Wives actually get two different words 00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:59.700 where love is used both times for the husbands. 00:15:00.139 --> 00:15:01.480 So we'll look at both of them. 00:15:01.580 --> 00:15:04.879 Those two words are submit and respect. 00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:08.700 Let's start with submission, verse 22. 00:15:10.320 --> 00:15:28.700 I met with a group of ladies a few weeks ago 00:15:28.700 --> 00:15:32.300 to talk about this passage, to get input from them. 00:15:33.040 --> 00:15:35.300 Because I'm stupid, but I'm not that stupid. 00:15:36.259 --> 00:15:39.320 And so we talked, and one of the things they told me is 00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:44.320 there are a lot of unhelpful definitions for submission out there. 00:15:45.560 --> 00:15:48.440 Definitions that refer to inferiority, 00:15:49.140 --> 00:15:53.580 that would suggest weakness is involved in submission. 00:15:53.580 --> 00:15:56.759 That silence and passivity is what is meant, 00:15:56.840 --> 00:16:00.440 that you should disappear and not be worthwhile or valuable. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:06.120 Let me give us a different definition to work with 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:08.740 for what biblical submission means. 00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:14.280 Willingly placing yourself under the authority of another 00:16:14.280 --> 00:16:16.220 for your own good. 00:16:16.460 --> 00:16:17.960 Notice in this definition, 00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:22.019 willingly placing yourself actively choosing 00:16:22.019 --> 00:16:26.019 not to be stuck somewhere that you're by nature inferior, 00:16:26.680 --> 00:16:29.639 but willingly choosing from a position of strength, 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.540 making a decision about what's best. 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.160 Placing yourself under the authority of someone 00:16:36.160 --> 00:16:38.220 for your own good. 00:16:38.460 --> 00:16:40.240 In this case, for what's best, 00:16:40.460 --> 00:16:42.220 not only for you, but for what's best 00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:43.900 for telling the story. 00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:49.899 You might picture yourself taking cover under a shelter 00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:52.100 from an oncoming storm. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:55.500 In other words, submitting yourself to being under it 00:16:55.500 --> 00:16:57.319 instead of somewhere else, 00:16:57.500 --> 00:16:59.759 but for your good and for your protection. 00:17:00.779 --> 00:17:03.720 Or picture cars merging onto an interstate 00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:07.799 where you might end up knowing that there's an order 00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:10.059 to be followed if you want to be safe. 00:17:10.180 --> 00:17:12.519 Even if that means that you fall behind a car 00:17:12.519 --> 00:17:13.639 that's no better than you. 00:17:13.900 --> 00:17:17.240 I think these pictures are helpful 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:19.700 because it fits with what we see in this passage. 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:22.019 We don't get as many details, do we, 00:17:22.120 --> 00:17:23.820 for the church's submission, 00:17:24.080 --> 00:17:25.380 for what that looks like. 00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:27.120 We got verse after verse last week 00:17:27.120 --> 00:17:29.380 of what it looks like for Christ to love the church. 00:17:29.740 --> 00:17:31.120 And husbands, love your wives 00:17:31.120 --> 00:17:33.240 and do this and this and this. 00:17:34.100 --> 00:17:35.240 There's not as much detail, 00:17:35.380 --> 00:17:38.380 but do notice in the midst of talking about submission, 00:17:39.340 --> 00:17:42.340 Paul brings in Christ's headship of the church 00:17:42.339 --> 00:17:44.959 and says it involves being its savior. 00:17:44.959 --> 00:17:47.220 It involves saving the church. 00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:48.179 Verse 23. 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:53.000 In other words, there's help, rescue, protection needed 00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:55.259 that submission avails itself of. 00:17:55.819 --> 00:17:59.279 What does it look like for the church to submit to Christ? 00:17:59.639 --> 00:18:02.079 To begin with, when the church submits to Christ, 00:18:02.419 --> 00:18:03.299 she is protected. 00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:05.659 He takes the blows. 00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:09.120 He stands in the way of danger, shielding her. 00:18:09.500 --> 00:18:10.440 That's the design. 00:18:11.360 --> 00:18:13.980 And so the church follows His direction 00:18:13.980 --> 00:18:16.000 rather than her own ideas. 00:18:16.500 --> 00:18:18.300 Jesus, as the head of the church, 00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:21.540 directs us to desire and to follow His will 00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:23.259 for our own good. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:25.880 In fact, if you remember, 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:28.980 Jesus Himself models this kind of submission 00:18:28.980 --> 00:18:30.920 in His relationship with His Father. 00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:32.560 When He prays, 00:18:32.840 --> 00:18:33.740 not my will, 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:35.400 but yours be done. 00:18:36.740 --> 00:18:39.140 Let me take a side note here for just a second. 00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:41.539 I want to slam the door shut 00:18:41.539 --> 00:18:43.960 on the idea of submission having to do with value. 00:18:44.080 --> 00:18:45.880 You know the absolute best way 00:18:45.880 --> 00:18:47.480 to remove the possibility 00:18:47.480 --> 00:18:49.240 that submission has to do with value? 00:18:50.600 --> 00:18:51.840 Jesus did it. 00:18:52.259 --> 00:18:54.640 Not just in the Garden of Gethsemane, 00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:57.940 but the conquering risen King of all 00:18:57.940 --> 00:19:01.779 when He brings everything under His feet, 00:19:01.860 --> 00:19:03.360 when He's the ruler of all, 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:05.480 1 Corinthians says this is what happens. 00:19:06.340 --> 00:19:09.380 The Son Himself will also be subjected, 00:19:09.559 --> 00:19:12.120 exact same word from this passage, 00:19:12.600 --> 00:19:14.940 to Him who put all things in subjection under Him 00:19:14.940 --> 00:19:16.580 that God may be all in all. 00:19:17.059 --> 00:19:20.480 Jesus willingly for His good 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:23.100 and the good of the glory of God 00:19:23.100 --> 00:19:26.420 in the universe submits. 00:19:26.420 --> 00:19:29.080 There's a distinction in roles 00:19:29.080 --> 00:19:30.200 in the Godhead 00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:32.480 between Father and Son and Spirit, 00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:36.720 but certainly no loss of value or glory whatsoever. 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:38.200 Don't even consider it. 00:19:39.019 --> 00:19:39.220 Okay? 00:19:39.700 --> 00:19:42.660 End of pastor ranting on side note. 00:19:43.820 --> 00:19:45.279 I want to put that to bed. 00:19:45.340 --> 00:19:47.519 It shouldn't cross our minds, 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:49.180 but we're broken. 00:19:49.820 --> 00:19:50.580 And it does. 00:19:50.579 --> 00:19:53.619 So the church, 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:55.399 in following the guidance of Jesus, 00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:59.639 has to trust that He has her best interest at heart. 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:03.679 That's another aspect of the church submitting to Christ, 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:04.059 isn't it? 00:20:04.099 --> 00:20:05.359 Trusting Him. 00:20:06.579 --> 00:20:08.299 So I want to ask the obvious question 00:20:08.299 --> 00:20:09.939 that I have felt for you already 00:20:09.939 --> 00:20:12.279 three or four times, ladies, so far. 00:20:12.659 --> 00:20:14.179 What if He doesn't? 00:20:14.180 --> 00:20:18.640 What if He doesn't have my best interest at heart? 00:20:19.860 --> 00:20:20.759 Because with Jesus, 00:20:20.920 --> 00:20:21.720 we're all set, right? 00:20:22.019 --> 00:20:23.440 It's easy to talk about that. 00:20:23.500 --> 00:20:24.980 As the church submits to Christ, 00:20:25.080 --> 00:20:26.000 He's perfect. 00:20:27.100 --> 00:20:29.279 He always has our best interest at heart. 00:20:29.340 --> 00:20:31.060 We can always trust Him. 00:20:33.539 --> 00:20:35.640 You'll have this objection come to mind again 00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:36.900 before the end of this sermon. 00:20:37.460 --> 00:20:39.380 My husband is not like Jesus. 00:20:39.380 --> 00:20:42.220 I know at least one of you who has that objection. 00:20:43.800 --> 00:20:44.800 And I agree. 00:20:46.340 --> 00:20:49.280 No husband is perfect like Jesus. 00:20:50.660 --> 00:20:53.040 But I want to suggest that we have to start 00:20:53.040 --> 00:20:55.480 by noting Paul is making a comparison 00:20:55.480 --> 00:20:57.580 rather than a contrast here 00:20:57.580 --> 00:21:00.840 between husbands and Jesus 00:21:00.840 --> 00:21:02.540 and the role they're playing in the story. 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.100 Don't start by objecting to the differences 00:21:05.100 --> 00:21:07.340 even though there, of course, are some. 00:21:07.339 --> 00:21:09.480 Let me tell you what you're trusting 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:10.740 when you entrust yourself 00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:12.039 to your husband's direction. 00:21:12.579 --> 00:21:14.159 This passage says you're to do it 00:21:14.159 --> 00:21:16.139 as to the Lord. 00:21:17.459 --> 00:21:19.839 There's nothing and no one else 00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:22.439 who will never fail you or let you down. 00:21:22.639 --> 00:21:23.419 You know that. 00:21:24.639 --> 00:21:26.639 But you're supposed to submit to your husband 00:21:26.639 --> 00:21:28.779 as though he might come through for you. 00:21:28.899 --> 00:21:30.539 As though he really does want 00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:32.740 what's best for you. 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:36.279 Listen, your idea may be better. 00:21:37.339 --> 00:21:39.240 Your plan may be wiser. 00:21:40.199 --> 00:21:42.500 And submission doesn't mean you don't speak. 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:44.720 We'll get to that in a minute. 00:21:45.099 --> 00:21:47.799 But how do you foster in your own heart 00:21:47.799 --> 00:21:50.059 and communicate to your husband 00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:52.199 your trust and confidence in him 00:21:52.199 --> 00:21:54.319 even when you doubt or disagree? 00:21:56.199 --> 00:21:58.179 We said last week men have struggled 00:21:58.179 --> 00:22:00.139 with their role since the Garden of Eden. 00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:01.939 They've wanted to be passive 00:22:01.939 --> 00:22:04.439 and step away and not be 00:22:04.439 --> 00:22:06.159 what God has called them to be. 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.700 Women have too. 00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:09.900 Part of the curse on the woman 00:22:09.900 --> 00:22:12.620 is her desire for her husband's role. 00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:14.640 And I'm going to suggest 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:17.700 that that comes back to where we find our value. 00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:20.440 Hang with me here for just a minute. 00:22:20.980 --> 00:22:23.279 I talked a lot about value at the beginning 00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:25.380 partly for this reason. 00:22:25.660 --> 00:22:27.560 When we don't find our value 00:22:27.560 --> 00:22:29.920 in being made in the image of God 00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:32.420 and being daughters of the King 00:22:32.420 --> 00:22:34.060 through our union with Christ 00:22:34.060 --> 00:22:35.820 when that's not enough 00:22:35.820 --> 00:22:37.120 in the particular moment 00:22:37.120 --> 00:22:38.539 where do we find it? 00:22:38.820 --> 00:22:40.300 Where do we find our value? 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:42.200 We find it by comparison, don't we? 00:22:43.840 --> 00:22:45.600 Been on Facebook lately, ladies? 00:22:47.940 --> 00:22:50.940 Comparison is a thief of joy. 00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:55.240 Facebook is a greenhouse of comparison. 00:22:56.019 --> 00:22:57.360 Not just for women. 00:22:58.120 --> 00:22:59.039 For all of us. 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:01.160 You see everyone else's highlight reel. 00:23:01.820 --> 00:23:04.019 They look better in the pictures next to you. 00:23:04.360 --> 00:23:05.799 They seem to make more money. 00:23:06.380 --> 00:23:08.140 Their house is bigger and cleaner. 00:23:08.980 --> 00:23:11.500 They fit more stuff into their schedule than you do. 00:23:11.559 --> 00:23:13.259 They even eat more healthily than you 00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:14.320 while making more money. 00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:18.200 And how quickly does your worth 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:20.500 and your value get attached to that? 00:23:20.579 --> 00:23:21.939 Answer that question honestly. 00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:24.159 How quickly does your worth and value 00:23:24.159 --> 00:23:27.319 get attached to that comparison to others? 00:23:28.299 --> 00:23:31.500 You're a daughter of the King of the universe. 00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:33.980 He loves you. 00:23:34.259 --> 00:23:35.439 You're precious to Him. 00:23:35.539 --> 00:23:37.059 You bear His image. 00:23:38.179 --> 00:23:39.019 All of you. 00:23:39.679 --> 00:23:41.599 You're not the sum of your likes 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.960 and your retweets and your blogs. 00:23:44.980 --> 00:23:46.599 And the things that people say about you 00:23:46.599 --> 00:23:47.839 or you see about yourself. 00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:51.319 So in marriage, 00:23:51.859 --> 00:23:54.439 I don't think that many of you wives 00:23:54.439 --> 00:23:57.220 compare your role to His in itself. 00:23:57.419 --> 00:23:59.460 I don't think that's the comparison. 00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:01.359 Ah, do I like headship or submission? 00:24:01.819 --> 00:24:04.200 I think the comparison that we struggle with 00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:07.480 is we compare how well He's doing in His role 00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:09.079 to how well I would do. 00:24:11.399 --> 00:24:12.819 Man, it's hard to trust Him 00:24:12.819 --> 00:24:14.139 when you're smarter than He is. 00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:16.259 My wife knows that. 00:24:17.879 --> 00:24:20.179 And so your concern is that in submission, 00:24:20.399 --> 00:24:22.519 it means giving in to be run over 00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:24.559 by someone who's more foolish 00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:25.899 or doesn't know as well. 00:24:26.099 --> 00:24:27.439 That you'll be undervalued, 00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:28.579 underappreciated. 00:24:29.099 --> 00:24:32.319 Listen, God doesn't undervalue you. 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:33.500 You're His daughter. 00:24:33.659 --> 00:24:35.259 You're worth so much to Him. 00:24:35.319 --> 00:24:37.200 Whether you're smarter than your husband or not, 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:39.559 it's not where your value comes from. 00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:41.419 Here's a hard one. 00:24:42.980 --> 00:24:44.819 What about when you're more spiritually mature 00:24:44.819 --> 00:24:45.519 than your husband? 00:24:46.579 --> 00:24:49.299 And we talked last week about him needing to show 00:24:49.299 --> 00:24:51.819 spiritual leadership in the relationship. 00:24:52.819 --> 00:24:54.839 How do you allow him to be a spiritual leader 00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:58.000 like we talked about when you're more spiritually mature? 00:24:58.000 --> 00:24:59.720 That's genuinely hard. 00:25:01.160 --> 00:25:04.019 So what you're actually having to put your trust in 00:25:04.019 --> 00:25:05.400 is in God. 00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:07.579 Not just in your husband. 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:09.799 Is that God knows what He's doing. 00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:13.299 That He hasn't lost sight of how to do things. 00:25:13.539 --> 00:25:15.440 That God has put you in a relationship 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:17.880 for your protection and your good. 00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:21.500 And so submission is willingly placing yourself 00:25:21.500 --> 00:25:23.160 under the authority of another 00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:24.780 for your own good. 00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:27.620 So when you trust your husband's leadership, 00:25:27.820 --> 00:25:30.080 when you follow his direction joyfully 00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:32.380 and expect He'll bless you, 00:25:33.360 --> 00:25:35.400 you're picturing the joy of the church 00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:38.000 following the one who has blessed her. 00:25:38.680 --> 00:25:40.140 What a great privilege 00:25:40.140 --> 00:25:42.820 that you get to show what that looks like. 00:25:42.819 --> 00:25:46.939 There's a second word used for wives though 00:25:46.939 --> 00:25:48.119 in verse 33. 00:25:48.379 --> 00:25:49.839 When Paul summarizes, 00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:50.879 he says it differently. 00:25:51.500 --> 00:25:54.839 Let each one of you husbands love his wife as himself. 00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:58.960 Let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:25:59.619 --> 00:26:01.139 He picks a different word. 00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:02.639 And here I want to make sure 00:26:02.639 --> 00:26:06.220 that when I talk about submit or follow 00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:08.319 or things like that, 00:26:08.359 --> 00:26:11.859 that you don't hear silent withdrawing from engagement. 00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:15.240 You know, just sit around and hope 00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:19.059 he provides spiritual leadership against all odds. 00:26:20.139 --> 00:26:21.619 In fact, if you think about 00:26:21.619 --> 00:26:23.039 how the church submits to Christ, 00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:24.379 that's not the picture at all, is it? 00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:26.779 The church is to use actively 00:26:26.779 --> 00:26:29.319 all the gifts and abilities Christ has given her 00:26:29.319 --> 00:26:31.399 to work for the extension of his kingdom. 00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:33.519 It's why he's called us to himself. 00:26:34.179 --> 00:26:35.720 So when you think about respect, 00:26:36.299 --> 00:26:37.240 think this, 00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:40.099 using all your gifts and abilities 00:26:40.099 --> 00:26:43.379 for the honor of another. 00:26:44.879 --> 00:26:46.980 I love how Paul's explicit here 00:26:46.980 --> 00:26:49.439 about the importance of telling the story. 00:26:49.859 --> 00:26:51.219 Look back at verse 21. 00:26:52.899 --> 00:26:55.079 Right as he enters into talking about marriage, 00:26:55.179 --> 00:26:57.059 he finishes the last section. 00:26:57.299 --> 00:26:57.539 It says, 00:26:57.899 --> 00:26:58.699 submitting to one another 00:26:58.699 --> 00:27:01.679 out of reverence for Christ. 00:27:01.740 --> 00:27:02.619 That's all of us. 00:27:02.619 --> 00:27:04.039 Then verse 33, 00:27:04.219 --> 00:27:06.299 as it comes in and closes this section, 00:27:06.799 --> 00:27:08.659 let each one of you love his wife as himself 00:27:08.659 --> 00:27:09.859 and let the wife see 00:27:09.859 --> 00:27:11.799 that she respects her husband. 00:27:12.419 --> 00:27:13.959 The word translated respects 00:27:13.959 --> 00:27:16.319 is the verbal form of the same word 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:18.279 used for reverence in verse 21. 00:27:18.719 --> 00:27:20.579 It's likely why he uses 00:27:20.579 --> 00:27:22.459 a different word in this context. 00:27:22.759 --> 00:27:23.599 What's Paul saying? 00:27:24.459 --> 00:27:25.759 This is not random. 00:27:25.979 --> 00:27:27.379 He's saying this is about 00:27:27.379 --> 00:27:29.299 not just what you do towards your husband. 00:27:29.299 --> 00:27:31.879 It's about the reverence due to Christ. 00:27:32.759 --> 00:27:34.299 Now reverence starts to push the envelope 00:27:34.299 --> 00:27:35.659 a little bit on respect, doesn't it? 00:27:36.180 --> 00:27:37.359 In our context, 00:27:37.460 --> 00:27:39.039 that's a little bit stronger feeling. 00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:42.639 It's the thing we're all supposed to do 00:27:42.639 --> 00:27:44.099 in regard to Christ. 00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:45.859 Is your husband worthy 00:27:45.859 --> 00:27:47.579 of the reverence and respect 00:27:47.579 --> 00:27:48.519 due your Savior? 00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:53.019 Still thinking on that one? 00:27:53.299 --> 00:27:54.799 Is he worthy of that? 00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:57.379 Of course our initial response is no. 00:27:57.779 --> 00:27:58.799 No, he's not. 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:00.960 No, he's not worthy of the honor 00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:03.440 and reverence and respect due to Christ. 00:28:03.720 --> 00:28:06.039 But that's the role that wives are given. 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:08.180 To respect, to lift up, 00:28:08.259 --> 00:28:09.339 to honor their husbands 00:28:09.339 --> 00:28:11.319 for the sake of telling that story 00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:12.899 because Jesus really is worthy 00:28:12.899 --> 00:28:14.079 of that kind of respect. 00:28:15.579 --> 00:28:17.139 If we think of it in relation 00:28:17.139 --> 00:28:19.019 to how the church does this with Christ, 00:28:19.319 --> 00:28:21.839 that's where it becomes such an active thing. 00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:23.259 All our words, 00:28:23.879 --> 00:28:26.399 all the gifts he's given us by his Spirit, 00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:29.820 all the energy they expend in the church 00:28:29.820 --> 00:28:31.440 is not for their own glory, 00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:32.620 but for his. 00:28:32.780 --> 00:28:34.660 He's the hero of the story, 00:28:35.080 --> 00:28:35.920 not them. 00:28:37.259 --> 00:28:39.700 So wives are to use their sometimes, 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:44.040 usually superior gifts, 00:28:45.040 --> 00:28:46.480 their intellect, 00:28:47.320 --> 00:28:48.480 their words, 00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:50.019 to support, 00:28:50.740 --> 00:28:51.259 strengthen, 00:28:51.259 --> 00:28:53.900 and honor their husbands. 00:28:54.579 --> 00:28:55.039 In fact, 00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:57.180 it's even a harder job for wives 00:28:57.180 --> 00:28:59.480 than for the church in regard to Christ 00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:01.819 because their husbands fail. 00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:05.779 Christ is worthy of being respected 00:29:05.779 --> 00:29:06.440 and honored, 00:29:06.599 --> 00:29:08.660 but how do you respect and honor him 00:29:08.660 --> 00:29:09.579 even in failure, 00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:12.220 even when he falls short of earning it? 00:29:12.220 --> 00:29:13.779 Now listen, 00:29:13.880 --> 00:29:15.720 the Bible of course mentions exceptions. 00:29:16.740 --> 00:29:18.759 You're never to promote or honor sin. 00:29:20.220 --> 00:29:22.360 But push yourself to stick with the model 00:29:22.360 --> 00:29:23.299 that we're given here. 00:29:24.360 --> 00:29:25.000 Ask yourself, 00:29:25.120 --> 00:29:27.100 how do you speak about your husband? 00:29:29.059 --> 00:29:31.480 To him and behind his back. 00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:34.480 Do you say things about him 00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:36.620 that you would never say about your Savior? 00:29:36.619 --> 00:29:42.219 When you disagree 00:29:42.219 --> 00:29:44.419 or have input to give, 00:29:44.500 --> 00:29:45.679 do you give it in such a way 00:29:45.679 --> 00:29:46.839 as to shame him 00:29:46.839 --> 00:29:48.699 or encourage him? 00:29:49.559 --> 00:29:51.599 Do you capitalize on his weaknesses 00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:53.159 to gain control 00:29:53.159 --> 00:29:54.379 and get the upper hand 00:29:54.379 --> 00:29:56.359 or do you seek to build him up 00:29:56.359 --> 00:29:57.399 in those areas? 00:29:57.539 --> 00:29:59.479 Do you pray for him regularly 00:29:59.479 --> 00:30:00.679 because he needs it? 00:30:02.479 --> 00:30:03.000 Listen, 00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:04.579 the beauty of God's design 00:30:04.579 --> 00:30:06.099 for this in marriage 00:30:06.099 --> 00:30:07.240 is similar to what 00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:08.779 I told the men last week. 00:30:09.099 --> 00:30:10.939 When husbands lift their wives up 00:30:10.939 --> 00:30:12.240 and that's their job, 00:30:13.179 --> 00:30:14.359 because they are united 00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:16.279 as one flesh in marriage, 00:30:16.619 --> 00:30:17.659 they're lifted up too. 00:30:18.719 --> 00:30:20.619 The same thing is true for wives. 00:30:20.939 --> 00:30:22.459 When wives seek to honor 00:30:22.459 --> 00:30:23.779 and respect their husband, 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:24.579 remember, 00:30:24.779 --> 00:30:26.359 they don't work against each other. 00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:28.039 They're united together in marriage 00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:29.019 and so the beauty 00:30:29.019 --> 00:30:30.599 of God's design for marriage 00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:32.500 is that both are honored. 00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:34.859 Sometimes it feels to us 00:30:34.859 --> 00:30:35.959 like running your husband 00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:38.000 down can actually get you honor 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:39.920 because you must be so amazing 00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:41.200 to put up with a slouch 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:42.100 like that, right? 00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:43.819 And so it feels good. 00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:45.500 What an incredible wife 00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:46.559 I must be. 00:30:47.600 --> 00:30:48.340 But then you realize 00:30:48.340 --> 00:30:50.000 it doesn't work like that at all. 00:30:50.740 --> 00:30:51.960 You want to be proud 00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:53.720 that such an amazing man 00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:55.700 has chosen to love you. 00:30:56.120 --> 00:30:57.840 Then you feel honored, right? 00:30:58.740 --> 00:31:00.559 You want people to think well of him. 00:31:00.660 --> 00:31:01.539 Isn't that what happens 00:31:01.539 --> 00:31:02.299 to the church? 00:31:02.299 --> 00:31:04.180 When the church seeks 00:31:04.180 --> 00:31:05.039 the honor of Christ, 00:31:05.139 --> 00:31:06.240 he makes her radiant 00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.359 and blameless 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:08.440 at the same time. 00:31:09.379 --> 00:31:10.940 It's such an amazing man 00:31:10.940 --> 00:31:13.359 as Jesus would love her 00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:15.039 and cleanse her 00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:16.119 as a great honor 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:17.079 to the church. 00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:18.480 There's mutual honor 00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:19.779 because we're connected 00:31:19.779 --> 00:31:20.519 to each other. 00:31:20.940 --> 00:31:21.700 And the good news 00:31:21.700 --> 00:31:22.740 of the gospel, ladies, 00:31:22.859 --> 00:31:24.240 and you need to hear this 00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:25.339 because I know 00:31:25.339 --> 00:31:26.039 your husbands 00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:27.359 let you down. 00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:28.940 Because you're part 00:31:28.940 --> 00:31:29.899 of Christ's bride, 00:31:29.900 --> 00:31:31.820 Christ will make you glorious 00:31:31.820 --> 00:31:32.980 even when your husband 00:31:32.980 --> 00:31:33.880 fails to. 00:31:34.380 --> 00:31:34.900 He will. 00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:37.600 He's absolutely committed 00:31:37.600 --> 00:31:39.019 to you like that. 00:31:40.340 --> 00:31:41.580 It grieves me 00:31:41.580 --> 00:31:43.740 when only one spouse 00:31:43.740 --> 00:31:44.980 seeks to fill the role 00:31:44.980 --> 00:31:46.320 that God has given him 00:31:46.320 --> 00:31:47.759 or her in the marriage. 00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:50.160 It's so painful to watch. 00:31:50.560 --> 00:31:52.160 And the things that can happen 00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:53.180 and the ways that people 00:31:53.180 --> 00:31:54.280 are taken advantage of 00:31:54.280 --> 00:31:55.540 and the ways these words 00:31:55.540 --> 00:31:56.780 are used to hurt 00:31:56.779 --> 00:31:58.619 instead of heal 00:31:58.619 --> 00:31:59.920 are terrible. 00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:03.259 But Christ is the perfect husband. 00:32:03.740 --> 00:32:05.180 The one who will ensure 00:32:05.180 --> 00:32:07.139 that you also are honored. 00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:09.059 That you reflect his glory 00:32:09.059 --> 00:32:10.220 the way he created you 00:32:10.220 --> 00:32:10.720 in his image 00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:11.819 to do in the first place. 00:32:11.980 --> 00:32:13.379 He'll see that that happens. 00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:15.879 He's absolutely committed to it. 00:32:17.859 --> 00:32:18.940 I couldn't think about 00:32:18.940 --> 00:32:20.079 this passage this week 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:21.200 without thinking about 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.359 the many wonderful examples 00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:25.220 of this that we have 00:32:25.220 --> 00:32:26.420 in our congregation. 00:32:27.579 --> 00:32:29.440 Many of you will know 00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:30.339 Betty Bates 00:32:30.339 --> 00:32:32.480 who just this week 00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:34.079 lost her husband 00:32:34.079 --> 00:32:36.180 of 64 plus years 00:32:36.180 --> 00:32:37.539 John. 00:32:38.059 --> 00:32:40.380 John was a wonderful 00:32:40.380 --> 00:32:42.220 gentle man. 00:32:43.180 --> 00:32:44.620 But in the last several years 00:32:44.620 --> 00:32:45.779 he suffered greatly 00:32:45.779 --> 00:32:46.940 from dementia. 00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:49.279 And he was hurting 00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:51.720 and needed a lot of help. 00:32:52.059 --> 00:32:53.220 And Betty stayed with him 00:32:53.220 --> 00:32:55.059 every step of the way. 00:32:55.220 --> 00:32:56.299 She woke him 00:32:56.299 --> 00:32:58.059 bathed him 00:32:58.059 --> 00:32:58.880 and dressed him 00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:01.079 took him to places 00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:01.860 he loved to go 00:33:01.860 --> 00:33:03.279 like here 00:33:03.279 --> 00:33:04.339 every week. 00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:06.779 She gently told him 00:33:06.779 --> 00:33:07.640 what he needed to know 00:33:07.640 --> 00:33:09.400 which was nearly everything. 00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:11.819 She held his hand 00:33:11.819 --> 00:33:12.579 while he slept 00:33:12.579 --> 00:33:14.319 so that he would feel secure. 00:33:16.500 --> 00:33:17.880 But she didn't mock him 00:33:17.880 --> 00:33:19.180 or belittle him 00:33:19.180 --> 00:33:20.380 she respected him. 00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:22.460 He needed her 00:33:22.460 --> 00:33:23.980 but she let him 00:33:23.980 --> 00:33:24.880 feel needed too. 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:25.880 What a gift 00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:26.380 it has been 00:33:26.380 --> 00:33:27.400 to watch someone 00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:30.320 joyfully love someone 00:33:30.320 --> 00:33:31.000 the way that she 00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:31.700 has been loved. 00:33:32.340 --> 00:33:33.060 What a gift 00:33:33.060 --> 00:33:33.920 that is to us 00:33:33.920 --> 00:33:34.560 to be able to 00:33:34.560 --> 00:33:35.940 watch that modeled. 00:33:36.300 --> 00:33:37.020 It's one of the 00:33:37.020 --> 00:33:38.120 best things 00:33:38.120 --> 00:33:38.740 about a 00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:39.880 multi-generational 00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:40.880 body of Christ 00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:42.360 like this. 00:33:42.520 --> 00:33:43.560 Please don't miss that. 00:33:44.220 --> 00:33:44.860 Please don't miss 00:33:44.860 --> 00:33:45.780 those relationships 00:33:45.780 --> 00:33:46.400 and the gift 00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:47.120 they are to you 00:33:47.120 --> 00:33:48.080 to watch others 00:33:48.080 --> 00:33:48.560 walk through 00:33:48.560 --> 00:33:49.840 different seasons of life 00:33:49.840 --> 00:33:50.980 and to love 00:33:50.980 --> 00:33:51.680 the way that 00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:52.460 they've been loved. 00:33:52.460 --> 00:33:53.660 It's a great 00:33:53.660 --> 00:33:54.620 great privilege. 00:33:56.620 --> 00:33:57.660 Thinking of Betty 00:33:57.660 --> 00:33:58.660 reminded me of the 00:33:58.660 --> 00:34:00.259 story of David Ireland. 00:34:01.860 --> 00:34:02.539 Shortly after 00:34:02.539 --> 00:34:03.980 David's young wife 00:34:03.980 --> 00:34:04.779 got pregnant 00:34:04.779 --> 00:34:05.640 David found out 00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:06.519 he had a disease 00:34:06.519 --> 00:34:08.679 like Lou Gehrig's disease 00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:09.780 and his body 00:34:09.780 --> 00:34:10.880 began to shut down 00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:11.599 rapidly 00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:13.320 and David realized 00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:14.340 that he may never 00:34:14.340 --> 00:34:15.639 meet his child. 00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:17.319 So he started 00:34:17.319 --> 00:34:18.219 doing parenting 00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:19.559 through writing 00:34:19.559 --> 00:34:20.859 letters to the 00:34:20.859 --> 00:34:22.440 child in his 00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:23.039 wife's womb. 00:34:24.279 --> 00:34:24.940 They've been 00:34:24.940 --> 00:34:26.000 collected and 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:26.859 published in a book 00:34:26.859 --> 00:34:27.719 called Letters to 00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:28.759 an Unborn Child. 00:34:29.339 --> 00:34:30.279 He introduces 00:34:30.279 --> 00:34:31.279 his baby boy 00:34:31.279 --> 00:34:32.059 to his mother 00:34:32.059 --> 00:34:33.539 this way. 00:34:35.279 --> 00:34:36.379 My child I want 00:34:36.379 --> 00:34:36.759 you to know 00:34:36.759 --> 00:34:37.339 what your mother 00:34:37.339 --> 00:34:37.980 is like. 00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:40.440 She is absolutely 00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:41.259 incredible 00:34:41.259 --> 00:34:42.639 and I think I can 00:34:42.639 --> 00:34:43.460 make it clear to you 00:34:43.460 --> 00:34:44.319 by just telling you 00:34:44.319 --> 00:34:45.279 what happens when we 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:46.140 go out to eat at 00:34:46.140 --> 00:34:46.380 night. 00:34:47.100 --> 00:34:47.840 When we go to a 00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:48.760 restaurant this is 00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:49.840 what she has to do. 00:34:51.040 --> 00:34:51.820 Because I'm a 00:34:51.820 --> 00:34:52.840 quadriplegic now 00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:53.500 and in a wheelchair 00:34:53.500 --> 00:34:55.100 she has to bathe me 00:34:55.100 --> 00:34:55.700 dress me 00:34:55.700 --> 00:34:56.460 empty the urine 00:34:56.460 --> 00:34:57.260 and fecal bags 00:34:57.260 --> 00:34:58.320 strapped to my legs 00:34:58.320 --> 00:34:59.519 then put me in the 00:34:59.519 --> 00:34:59.840 wheelchair 00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:00.960 drive me out to the 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:01.440 garage 00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:02.460 open the garage 00:35:02.460 --> 00:35:03.280 open the door 00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:04.460 get out a board 00:35:04.460 --> 00:35:05.280 pull up the arm 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:05.900 on my chair 00:35:05.900 --> 00:35:07.060 slide me across 00:35:07.060 --> 00:35:07.500 the board 00:35:07.500 --> 00:35:08.440 put me in the car 00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:09.720 put down the arm 00:35:09.720 --> 00:35:10.700 fold up the chair 00:35:10.700 --> 00:35:11.560 open the trunk 00:35:11.560 --> 00:35:12.620 put in the chair 00:35:12.620 --> 00:35:13.440 close the trunk 00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:14.160 close the door 00:35:14.160 --> 00:35:14.900 get in the car 00:35:14.900 --> 00:35:15.840 back it out 00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:16.720 close the garage 00:35:16.720 --> 00:35:17.039 door 00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:17.860 and drive 00:35:17.860 --> 00:35:18.880 to the restaurant. 00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:21.300 When we get there 00:35:21.300 --> 00:35:22.059 the whole process 00:35:22.059 --> 00:35:22.920 is reversed. 00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:24.579 We sit down 00:35:24.579 --> 00:35:25.079 at a table 00:35:25.079 --> 00:35:25.940 she feeds me 00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:27.160 wipes the drool 00:35:27.160 --> 00:35:27.940 from my mouth 00:35:27.940 --> 00:35:28.599 because I can 00:35:28.599 --> 00:35:29.300 barely eat 00:35:29.300 --> 00:35:30.740 gets up 00:35:30.740 --> 00:35:31.700 pays the check 00:35:31.700 --> 00:35:32.240 and then the whole 00:35:32.240 --> 00:35:33.360 process is reversed 00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:33.860 again. 00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:35.180 Go out to the car 00:35:35.180 --> 00:35:35.740 open the door 00:35:35.740 --> 00:35:36.559 take off the arm 00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:37.559 put down the board 00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:38.860 slide me across 00:35:38.860 --> 00:35:39.720 put down the arm 00:35:39.720 --> 00:35:40.539 fold up the chair 00:35:40.539 --> 00:35:41.220 go to the back 00:35:41.220 --> 00:35:41.980 open the trunk 00:35:41.980 --> 00:35:42.820 put up the chair 00:35:42.820 --> 00:35:43.639 close the trunk 00:35:43.639 --> 00:35:44.519 get in the car 00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:45.059 drive 00:35:45.059 --> 00:35:46.319 get to the garage 00:35:46.319 --> 00:35:47.319 up goes the garage 00:35:47.319 --> 00:35:47.599 door 00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:48.579 everything else 00:35:48.579 --> 00:35:49.099 reversed 00:35:49.099 --> 00:35:49.940 take me in 00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:50.759 clean me 00:35:50.759 --> 00:35:51.659 empty the fecal 00:35:51.659 --> 00:35:52.460 and urine bags 00:35:52.460 --> 00:35:53.319 bathe me 00:35:53.319 --> 00:35:54.599 put me in my pajamas 00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:55.779 and lays me in bed. 00:35:57.779 --> 00:35:59.019 Then he says this 00:35:59.019 --> 00:36:01.519 son these are her 00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:02.679 last words to me 00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:04.960 thank you honey 00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:06.500 for taking me out 00:36:06.500 --> 00:36:07.500 to eat tonight. 00:36:07.500 --> 00:36:11.260 thank you honey 00:36:11.260 --> 00:36:12.719 for taking me out 00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:13.500 to eat tonight. 00:36:14.619 --> 00:36:15.079 Do you hear the 00:36:15.079 --> 00:36:15.780 echoes of the 00:36:15.780 --> 00:36:16.539 greater story 00:36:16.539 --> 00:36:17.380 in that one? 00:36:18.440 --> 00:36:19.519 Do you see the 00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:20.519 beautiful picture 00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:21.920 of the incredible 00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:23.099 gracious love 00:36:23.099 --> 00:36:23.559 of God 00:36:23.559 --> 00:36:24.019 that gives 00:36:24.019 --> 00:36:24.820 dignity 00:36:24.820 --> 00:36:25.900 to the spiritually 00:36:25.900 --> 00:36:26.559 weak 00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:27.599 and helpless? 00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:29.579 The gospel 00:36:29.579 --> 00:36:30.340 is there in that 00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:31.300 story from so 00:36:31.300 --> 00:36:31.960 many angles 00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:33.699 but for this 00:36:33.699 --> 00:36:34.099 morning 00:36:34.099 --> 00:36:35.880 especially notice 00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:36.960 she used all of 00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:37.539 her energies 00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:39.440 to honor him 00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:40.840 and she is 00:36:40.840 --> 00:36:41.200 honored 00:36:41.200 --> 00:36:42.660 too. 00:36:44.500 --> 00:36:45.300 Southwood I know 00:36:45.300 --> 00:36:45.880 it doesn't make 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:46.900 sense to us 00:36:46.900 --> 00:36:48.320 but marriage 00:36:48.320 --> 00:36:49.900 is best for us 00:36:49.900 --> 00:36:50.619 when husbands 00:36:50.619 --> 00:36:51.559 lay down their 00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:52.059 lives 00:36:52.059 --> 00:36:53.320 for their wives 00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:54.740 and wives respond 00:36:54.740 --> 00:36:55.640 by honoring 00:36:55.640 --> 00:36:56.599 their husbands 00:36:56.599 --> 00:36:58.140 and more importantly 00:36:58.140 --> 00:36:58.940 not only is it 00:36:58.940 --> 00:36:59.980 best for us 00:36:59.980 --> 00:37:01.380 we have the great 00:37:01.380 --> 00:37:01.900 joy 00:37:01.900 --> 00:37:02.840 and privilege 00:37:02.840 --> 00:37:03.860 of telling the 00:37:03.860 --> 00:37:04.840 story of a church 00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:06.460 loved so well 00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:07.200 by her Savior 00:37:07.200 --> 00:37:08.079 that she would 00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:08.920 seek his honor 00:37:08.920 --> 00:37:10.200 in everything 00:37:10.200 --> 00:37:11.000 because he is 00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:11.660 so good 00:37:11.660 --> 00:37:12.740 to her. 00:37:13.120 --> 00:37:13.600 Let's pray. 00:37:17.600 --> 00:37:18.600 Father it is a 00:37:18.600 --> 00:37:19.519 great privilege 00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:20.160 you have given 00:37:20.160 --> 00:37:20.579 us 00:37:20.579 --> 00:37:22.260 to tell this 00:37:22.260 --> 00:37:22.600 story. 00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:25.579 There are many 00:37:25.579 --> 00:37:26.620 ways that you 00:37:26.620 --> 00:37:27.400 allow us to 00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:28.039 share it with 00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:28.420 others 00:37:28.420 --> 00:37:30.700 and every one 00:37:30.700 --> 00:37:31.280 of your children 00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:32.220 gets the privilege 00:37:32.220 --> 00:37:33.079 of telling it 00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:33.679 but Father 00:37:33.679 --> 00:37:34.619 especially in 00:37:34.619 --> 00:37:35.079 marriage 00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:36.179 you have given 00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:36.779 a picture 00:37:36.779 --> 00:37:38.719 and given 00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:39.279 us a 00:37:39.279 --> 00:37:40.319 responsibility 00:37:40.319 --> 00:37:41.840 forgive us 00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:42.659 when we look 00:37:42.659 --> 00:37:43.179 at it as a 00:37:43.179 --> 00:37:43.480 burden 00:37:43.480 --> 00:37:44.799 rather than a 00:37:44.799 --> 00:37:45.099 joy 00:37:45.099 --> 00:37:46.039 when laying 00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:46.500 down our 00:37:46.500 --> 00:37:46.960 lives 00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:47.579 seems 00:37:47.579 --> 00:37:48.619 less than 00:37:48.619 --> 00:37:49.219 desirable 00:37:49.219 --> 00:37:51.480 when using 00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:52.139 gifts that 00:37:52.139 --> 00:37:53.179 otherwise would 00:37:53.179 --> 00:37:53.860 be for our 00:37:53.860 --> 00:37:54.400 own good 00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:55.400 to seek the 00:37:55.400 --> 00:37:55.679 good of 00:37:55.679 --> 00:37:56.119 another 00:37:56.119 --> 00:37:57.420 Father 00:37:57.420 --> 00:37:58.179 that seems 00:37:58.179 --> 00:37:58.900 unfair 00:37:58.900 --> 00:38:01.700 thank you 00:38:01.700 --> 00:38:02.220 that you're 00:38:02.220 --> 00:38:02.880 wiser than 00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:03.300 we are 00:38:03.300 --> 00:38:03.840 thank you 00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:04.760 that you're 00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:05.619 committed to 00:38:05.619 --> 00:38:06.119 us so that 00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:06.619 when we 00:38:06.619 --> 00:38:07.320 sacrifice 00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:08.360 what seems 00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:08.820 like a 00:38:08.820 --> 00:38:09.700 huge cost 00:38:09.700 --> 00:38:10.260 to us 00:38:10.260 --> 00:38:11.280 you pay 00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:11.860 us back 00:38:11.860 --> 00:38:12.820 abundantly 00:38:12.820 --> 00:38:13.500 because of 00:38:13.500 --> 00:38:14.539 your love 00:38:14.539 --> 00:38:15.139 for us 00:38:15.139 --> 00:38:16.260 thank you 00:38:16.260 --> 00:38:16.840 thank you 00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:18.300 that you 00:38:18.300 --> 00:38:19.180 found us 00:38:19.180 --> 00:38:19.900 needy and 00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:20.320 weak and 00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:20.660 helpless 00:38:20.660 --> 00:38:22.160 and that you 00:38:22.160 --> 00:38:22.760 have loved 00:38:22.760 --> 00:38:23.160 us 00:38:23.160 --> 00:38:24.500 and you've 00:38:24.500 --> 00:38:24.880 made us 00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:25.400 clean we 00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:26.680 rejoice in 00:38:26.680 --> 00:38:27.180 your kindness 00:38:27.179 --> 00:38:27.819 to us 00:38:27.819 --> 00:38:28.539 in Jesus 00:38:28.539 --> 00:38:28.940 name 00:38:28.940 --> 00:38:29.980 amen 00:38:29.980 --> 00:38:34.639 for more 00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:35.159 information 00:38:35.159 --> 00:38:35.960 visit us 00:38:35.960 --> 00:38:36.859 online at 00:38:36.859 --> 00:38:37.759 southwood.org