WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.500 Okay, so we're in Ephesians 5, verses 22 to 23, as Simon read out. 00:00:04.759 --> 00:00:09.000 If you have one of the Bibles at the back, then it's page 978. 00:00:09.320 --> 00:00:11.679 If you don't have a Bible, I'd encourage you to grab one now 00:00:11.679 --> 00:00:13.679 so you can follow through in what we're saying. 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:16.500 If you're not really good at finding your way around the Bible, 00:00:17.160 --> 00:00:21.219 we will put up the key verses on the PowerPoint behind me there, 00:00:21.300 --> 00:00:23.039 so that'll help you stay in touch. 00:00:24.140 --> 00:00:26.019 Okay, right, we're starting with husbands. 00:00:26.400 --> 00:00:27.219 We're looking at family. 00:00:27.219 --> 00:00:31.199 We've looked at relationships broadly with David last week. 00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:33.420 This week we're narrowing in and looking at husbands. 00:00:34.579 --> 00:00:37.780 And judging by the show we had earlier, 00:00:37.879 --> 00:00:41.539 there is a little bit of confusion about what husbands should be, who they are. 00:00:42.700 --> 00:00:47.579 I can tell you that it doesn't just happen among children as to this confusion, 00:00:47.659 --> 00:00:48.960 but it happens among adults too. 00:00:49.500 --> 00:00:52.960 I remember working with a guy who I'm preaching on marriage 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:54.980 and relationships within marriage. 00:00:54.979 --> 00:00:58.579 He began his sermon by sharing his wedding day 00:00:58.579 --> 00:01:00.759 and how he prepared for his marriage. 00:01:01.119 --> 00:01:05.099 His last morning, he took us through it. 00:01:05.140 --> 00:01:07.280 He spoke about it in a sermon, in fact. 00:01:08.039 --> 00:01:11.299 And he talked about how in his preparation for his wedding, 00:01:11.979 --> 00:01:13.979 he sat down with his best man in his hotel. 00:01:14.120 --> 00:01:19.420 Before they actually went off to the church to get married, 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:22.760 he sat down with his best man in his hotel room and watched a movie. 00:01:24.019 --> 00:01:25.540 He watched Gladiator. 00:01:27.320 --> 00:01:28.879 He shared this story in a sermon, 00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:32.159 and it was funny until I realized that he kind of wasn't joking. 00:01:32.920 --> 00:01:35.859 What he was doing with that illustration was actually saying, 00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:37.219 this is what marriage is like. 00:01:37.320 --> 00:01:38.520 Marriage is a fight. 00:01:38.519 --> 00:01:44.459 Man, I got a whole lot less funny when after the service, 00:01:44.819 --> 00:01:50.019 the thing that men wanted to talk about was how much marriage was like the Gladiator movie. 00:01:50.599 --> 00:01:54.399 How much marriage was a fight, a bloody fight. 00:01:56.179 --> 00:02:01.079 How many men actually identified with that as the thing that they were being called to as husbands? 00:02:02.179 --> 00:02:03.719 So let's be clear from the start. 00:02:04.420 --> 00:02:07.199 Marriage is a whole-of-life commitment. 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:11.240 But it is not a combat to the death. 00:02:13.099 --> 00:02:14.580 Marriage is hard work. 00:02:15.259 --> 00:02:19.539 Nobody who will take the stage today is going to claim to be the one who has it all sorted out. 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:22.340 We are all aware of our own failings. 00:02:23.480 --> 00:02:26.240 But God, as he lays out his design for marriage in the Bible, 00:02:26.360 --> 00:02:29.039 has a very different picture, and we need that picture. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.120 We need to hear what our Creator intended. 00:02:32.120 --> 00:02:39.400 It is so often, so far from the marriage that we managed to produce. 00:02:40.460 --> 00:02:43.480 But when we look at that picture, it is beautiful. 00:02:43.939 --> 00:02:45.180 It is compelling. 00:02:46.460 --> 00:02:47.580 It is heavenly. 00:02:47.580 --> 00:02:52.460 So let's look at what God has to say about husbands. 00:02:54.260 --> 00:02:56.700 So first we are going to see the command that Paul gives. 00:02:56.820 --> 00:02:58.040 So if we look at... 00:02:58.040 --> 00:03:03.939 We had that whole passage read out because it is kind of husbands and wives are kind of intertwined there 00:03:03.939 --> 00:03:06.020 in terms of how it is expressed. 00:03:06.480 --> 00:03:08.160 We are going to start from verse 25. 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:12.680 And the command, husbands, love your wives. 00:03:14.300 --> 00:03:16.099 Love your wives. 00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:21.960 A definition of love, just so we don't misunderstand what that word means, is this. 00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:27.219 It is sincere affection and high regard. 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:32.780 These two things are what love means in the Bible. 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:36.479 Sincere affection and high regard. 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:39.560 Now this definition shouldn't be a surprise to us. 00:03:40.239 --> 00:03:44.139 But it is spoken into a context where the husband has been described as their head. 00:03:44.199 --> 00:03:45.199 So we have got to think about that. 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:47.479 In verse 23, Paul has said, 00:03:47.799 --> 00:03:51.099 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. 00:03:53.319 --> 00:03:55.259 Sounds like absolute power, doesn't it? 00:03:56.620 --> 00:03:58.719 I mean, like Christ? 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:04.780 Well, come back next week and we will actually explore that aspect a little bit more next week. 00:04:04.780 --> 00:04:08.400 But for now, what I really want to say is this. 00:04:09.020 --> 00:04:15.860 That the reality is that a wrong understanding of husband is head as Christ is the head 00:04:15.860 --> 00:04:19.800 has produced too many big-headed husbands. 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:27.620 But this command to love that Paul drives home in verse 25 is meant to ground us. 00:04:29.220 --> 00:04:32.860 Love, the command to love is meant to ground us. 00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:37.120 Think back to Genesis chapter 2 verse 23, to the first marriage, 00:04:37.379 --> 00:04:39.819 to when Adam actually first laid eyes on Eve. 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:40.920 He said this, 00:04:40.920 --> 00:04:46.800 This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:53.240 As he looked at her, he knew this is the one. 00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:56.939 Together, we will rule the world. 00:04:57.080 --> 00:04:58.800 Genesis chapter 1 verse 26. 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:01.920 Together, we will rule our family. 00:05:02.060 --> 00:05:03.420 Genesis chapter 1 verse 28. 00:05:04.540 --> 00:05:06.259 And she's amazing. 00:05:06.259 --> 00:05:09.379 Hold that thought. 00:05:11.099 --> 00:05:15.240 Love is sincere affection and high regard. 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:18.920 But it's more than that. 00:05:19.060 --> 00:05:25.240 You see, in Greek thought, they couldn't actually contemplate having an attitude of heart that wasn't expressed. 00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:31.860 So love is also an emotion that shapes our actions. 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:34.719 Love is an emotion that shapes our actions. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:39.600 In Greek thought, an emotion wasn't an emotion unless it was expressed in action. 00:05:40.620 --> 00:05:45.400 You can say you love someone, but if we can't see evidence in your life, then you don't. 00:05:45.980 --> 00:05:47.020 That was how the Greeks thought. 00:05:48.220 --> 00:05:53.000 So, if we should be able to see evidence in your life, what does love look like? 00:05:54.020 --> 00:05:55.760 Well, thankfully, Paul gives us an example. 00:05:56.280 --> 00:05:57.580 He says in verse 25, 00:05:57.579 --> 00:06:06.339 How? 00:06:06.339 --> 00:06:10.899 As Christ loved the church. 00:06:11.759 --> 00:06:16.819 Notice here, though, even in that very first word there, as, as Christ. 00:06:16.819 --> 00:06:20.399 See what's happening here? 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:24.019 The focus is coming back onto God. 00:06:24.719 --> 00:06:29.219 Paul is heralding the return to being God's image bearers here. 00:06:29.659 --> 00:06:33.939 In Genesis chapter 1 verse 27, we read how God created us. 00:06:34.300 --> 00:06:35.659 And we read these words. 00:06:35.660 --> 00:06:38.460 So God created man in his own image. 00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:41.100 In the image of God, he created him. 00:06:41.620 --> 00:06:44.220 Male and female, he created them. 00:06:45.580 --> 00:06:47.960 We were created in God's image. 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:52.560 God is our reference point for being. 00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:57.939 Sin, on the other hand, is rebellion. 00:06:58.660 --> 00:07:01.459 It's listening to any other voice over God's. 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:04.160 It's pursuing our own will over our creators. 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.079 It's looking away from the God that we were meant to be like. 00:07:07.939 --> 00:07:09.680 That we were created to be like. 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:14.779 True love has to be defined by looking to our creator. 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:19.699 And his love, his love, is a giving love. 00:07:19.699 --> 00:07:25.819 Because we go on in that verse and see that he gave himself up for her. 00:07:26.979 --> 00:07:31.939 Christ loved the church by giving himself up for her. 00:07:33.939 --> 00:07:36.180 God told us that we needed to look to him. 00:07:37.180 --> 00:07:40.279 And then God showed us what love is like. 00:07:44.019 --> 00:07:45.279 How well do you go at that? 00:07:46.860 --> 00:07:48.480 Not just knowing what it means. 00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:50.600 Even if we've got that right in our heads. 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:53.640 But actually being able to express what it means. 00:07:55.439 --> 00:07:59.100 During the week, we bought a new car last year. 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:00.379 And it was registered in Jo's name. 00:08:00.460 --> 00:08:03.800 And during the week, it came up time for it to be re-registered. 00:08:04.379 --> 00:08:06.960 And I don't know if you've been through service.gov.au 00:08:06.960 --> 00:08:10.200 and all the hurdles and steps you have to go through 00:08:10.200 --> 00:08:11.680 to get through that registration process. 00:08:12.020 --> 00:08:14.400 I've done it countless times since we moved to Australia. 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:16.660 Jo's English, she hadn't really done it. 00:08:16.660 --> 00:08:20.420 And because it was her car, she had to actually go through and do it. 00:08:20.660 --> 00:08:21.800 And so I stood over her shoulder, 00:08:21.939 --> 00:08:24.620 helpfully giving her advice and guidance on how to follow this form. 00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:30.800 And I was at the end of the form, on the end of the page mentally, 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:34.139 before she'd even filled out her name at the very top. 00:08:34.500 --> 00:08:35.679 I was just following through. 00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:38.399 I was saying, no, no, left, right, with the cursor, 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:40.980 trying to get her to click in the right box. 00:08:41.259 --> 00:08:42.779 I was getting frustrated. 00:08:43.980 --> 00:08:44.820 It was crazy. 00:08:44.820 --> 00:08:48.100 Did she not realise how long this was taking the way she was doing it? 00:08:48.740 --> 00:08:51.180 Which was exactly the way I did it the first time. 00:08:52.860 --> 00:08:56.440 Did she not realise how many more important things I had to do? 00:08:56.660 --> 00:08:59.680 I had a sermon on husbands to write, for goodness sake. 00:09:01.100 --> 00:09:02.780 I actually had to walk out the room at one point. 00:09:02.840 --> 00:09:03.240 This is serious. 00:09:03.300 --> 00:09:04.300 I had to walk out the room. 00:09:06.520 --> 00:09:07.240 Isn't it amazing? 00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:08.680 I mean, that's just a simple little example. 00:09:08.679 --> 00:09:14.539 But isn't it amazing that God told us what it meant to love? 00:09:15.239 --> 00:09:16.779 He told us what to do to love. 00:09:17.399 --> 00:09:20.639 He showed us what it meant to love. 00:09:21.399 --> 00:09:24.639 He said, just look at me and you will see love in action. 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:29.679 And then we still turned our backs on that. 00:09:31.539 --> 00:09:32.659 And what did God do? 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:36.819 He came back to us and showed us again at the cross. 00:09:36.820 --> 00:09:42.120 Not in anger or in a patronising way, but through dying for us. 00:09:43.540 --> 00:09:47.000 Christ loved the church by giving himself up for her. 00:09:48.260 --> 00:09:50.740 Friends, this is not a self-centred model. 00:09:51.900 --> 00:09:54.120 This is a self-sacrificing model. 00:09:55.760 --> 00:10:00.640 Husbands, she is not your secretary, your PA, your servant. 00:10:00.900 --> 00:10:01.980 She is your partner. 00:10:03.060 --> 00:10:04.940 She is the delight of your eyes. 00:10:04.940 --> 00:10:08.700 She is your first opportunity every day to serve. 00:10:11.500 --> 00:10:13.080 And that service has a goal. 00:10:14.840 --> 00:10:16.560 Paul goes on to say in verse 26. 00:10:16.640 --> 00:10:18.180 We'll start from verse 25 and I'll read it through. 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:23.320 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 00:10:23.760 --> 00:10:25.720 that he might sanctify her. 00:10:27.880 --> 00:10:29.400 Sanctify, big word. 00:10:29.399 --> 00:10:32.500 It means to have the quality of holiness. 00:10:33.740 --> 00:10:35.079 Holiness, another big word. 00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:40.840 It means to be set apart, pure, like God. 00:10:42.819 --> 00:10:44.059 We were a mess. 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.319 When we turned our backs on God and God's will, 00:10:49.019 --> 00:10:50.860 we went beyond the point of no return. 00:10:50.860 --> 00:10:53.539 So Jesus' sacrifice, I need to express this here. 00:10:53.740 --> 00:10:57.320 Jesus' sacrifice is more than an example for us then to follow and imitate. 00:10:58.460 --> 00:11:01.060 Jesus' sacrifice is the only way back. 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.779 Only Jesus' sacrifice can bring us back to the holiness that we were intended for. 00:11:07.539 --> 00:11:11.740 But our love is to be shaped by Jesus' love for the church. 00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:15.379 Our love is meant to point to Jesus' love for the church. 00:11:15.379 --> 00:11:23.659 Our love is meant to pursue the same goal for our wives as Jesus accomplished for the church. 00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:31.340 Within creation, husbands were meant to promote holiness in marriage. 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:34.360 The husband's love is meant to sanctify, 00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:37.379 to restore the voice of God in the world, 00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:40.659 to promote God's will over our own. 00:11:40.659 --> 00:11:46.959 This is what it's meant, what it means for a husband to love his wife 00:11:46.959 --> 00:11:49.259 like Christ loved the church. 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:51.799 This is what headship is. 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.559 Husbands lead by promoting God's voice in the world. 00:11:58.579 --> 00:12:00.480 And there's a richness to God's provision. 00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:03.419 God provides all we need to flourish within that too. 00:12:04.199 --> 00:12:06.079 But let's think about what I'm saying there, 00:12:06.139 --> 00:12:08.459 that husbands lead by promoting God's voice in the world. 00:12:08.460 --> 00:12:11.040 I want to go back to Genesis 2, verse 15. 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:12.900 See, in Genesis 2, verse 15, 00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:15.280 Adam is given the role of keeper of the garden. 00:12:15.400 --> 00:12:17.360 Keeper or watchman, you could translate it. 00:12:18.259 --> 00:12:18.980 Verse 15. 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:24.420 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:26.980 To work it and keep it. 00:12:27.040 --> 00:12:29.040 That keep word is watchman. 00:12:29.940 --> 00:12:31.060 He is to be the watchman. 00:12:31.500 --> 00:12:33.960 To maintain it and to grow it. 00:12:34.560 --> 00:12:37.580 And it's in this context that he's given the command about the tree. 00:12:38.460 --> 00:12:41.480 And then in Genesis 3, verse 17, 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:44.740 when Adam is judged by God for rebelling against him, 00:12:47.480 --> 00:12:49.360 he's got what God basically says. 00:12:49.400 --> 00:12:50.420 This is my paraphrase. 00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:55.740 He's judged by God for listening to the voice of your wife over mine, 00:12:56.240 --> 00:12:57.620 is basically what God says. 00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:00.240 Genesis 3, verse 17. 00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:03.440 Sin is rebellion. 00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:06.220 It's listening to any voice over God's. 00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:11.160 And husbands are called to promote God's voice in the world. 00:13:12.420 --> 00:13:15.280 This is what it means to nourish and cherish, 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.640 is what Paul goes on to describe husbands' roles like. 00:13:19.380 --> 00:13:21.380 To lovingly serve our wives. 00:13:21.680 --> 00:13:25.120 To delight in seeing them grow in every way given by God. 00:13:25.520 --> 00:13:27.240 Physically, emotionally, spiritually. 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:32.080 A husband's lead is exercised in self-giving, 00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:34.060 nourishing and cherishing oneness. 00:13:35.659 --> 00:13:39.360 A husband's lead is exercised to promote God's glory. 00:13:39.779 --> 00:13:41.560 To point to Christ in the church. 00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:43.580 To showcase the gospel. 00:13:45.139 --> 00:13:46.139 This is headship. 00:13:47.019 --> 00:13:48.159 This is love. 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:52.459 But we live in a sinful world. 00:13:53.159 --> 00:13:55.039 We live in a world where nobody's perfect. 00:13:56.319 --> 00:13:58.179 Least of all us as husbands. 00:13:58.360 --> 00:13:59.399 Least of all our wives. 00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:02.100 So we start to think, 00:14:02.219 --> 00:14:04.319 but what if she's nasty? 00:14:04.459 --> 00:14:05.339 What if she's lazy? 00:14:05.459 --> 00:14:07.299 What if she's domineering, manipulative? 00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:10.059 What if she's withholding sex or needy? 00:14:11.799 --> 00:14:12.779 Man, I've got to tell you, 00:14:12.779 --> 00:14:15.860 these thoughts come up in our minds. 00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:20.720 But these questions are the voice of the world in us. 00:14:22.419 --> 00:14:24.080 They're not the example of God. 00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:27.440 Apart from God, 00:14:27.940 --> 00:14:30.100 as the author and the example of love, 00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:33.600 we will approach relationships from our own perspective 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:35.399 and weigh them up 00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:38.139 based on whether we're getting what we feel we want or need. 00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:43.259 And God said this was the trajectory that we were on 00:14:43.259 --> 00:14:44.320 when we rebelled. 00:14:45.860 --> 00:14:47.440 In Genesis 3.16, 00:14:47.560 --> 00:14:48.460 when God judges Eve, 00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:50.300 he points out where their relationship is heading. 00:14:51.060 --> 00:14:51.899 To the woman he said, 00:14:52.180 --> 00:14:53.060 this is verse 16, 00:14:53.539 --> 00:14:55.919 I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing. 00:14:56.039 --> 00:14:57.580 In pain you shall bring forth children. 00:14:57.639 --> 00:15:00.399 There are some people here who can verify that. 00:15:00.460 --> 00:15:01.940 We've had several babies born recently. 00:15:02.259 --> 00:15:02.700 I'm sure. 00:15:02.820 --> 00:15:03.159 Amen. 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:03.759 They'll be saying. 00:15:04.460 --> 00:15:05.740 But he goes on then to say, 00:15:06.180 --> 00:15:09.320 your desire shall be for or contrary. 00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:10.019 We're not sure. 00:15:10.100 --> 00:15:11.899 It's kind of an ambiguous word in the Hebrew. 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:14.120 But it's not saying a good thing, 00:15:14.320 --> 00:15:14.920 basically. 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:18.159 Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, 00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:20.899 but he shall rule over you. 00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:23.399 Apart from God, 00:15:23.439 --> 00:15:26.019 we will approach relationships with demands or expectations, 00:15:26.179 --> 00:15:26.620 if you prefer, 00:15:26.939 --> 00:15:28.159 limits or conditions, 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:28.919 if you prefer, 00:15:29.399 --> 00:15:31.120 ourselves as the beneficiary. 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:35.560 When we don't get what we want, 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:37.480 we get angry. 00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:39.840 Think about this. 00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:40.340 Husbands, 00:15:40.500 --> 00:15:41.259 in particular, 00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:42.500 are wired to lead. 00:15:43.419 --> 00:15:45.440 So when you aren't getting what you want from a relationship, 00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:48.139 what God is saying is, 00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:50.879 we're going to abuse that strength 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:52.500 that he's given us. 00:15:52.500 --> 00:15:56.320 God said, 00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.799 he shall rule over you. 00:16:00.759 --> 00:16:03.539 In the absence of God's rule, 00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:07.700 the strength given to lead will be distorted, 00:16:08.820 --> 00:16:11.539 distorted into the need to control. 00:16:11.539 --> 00:16:15.620 And Genesis 3 gives us this hint 00:16:15.620 --> 00:16:16.620 that when husbands are denied, 00:16:16.719 --> 00:16:17.639 they will respond in anger. 00:16:17.879 --> 00:16:19.339 They will use that strength 00:16:19.339 --> 00:16:21.559 to assert themselves. 00:16:22.379 --> 00:16:22.480 Now, 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:24.419 the two main faces of anger are aggression, 00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:26.579 like an outward show of strength, 00:16:26.860 --> 00:16:27.579 and withdrawal, 00:16:27.799 --> 00:16:29.439 kind of a removal of that strength. 00:16:29.719 --> 00:16:30.980 And we'll look at these in more detail 00:16:30.980 --> 00:16:32.000 in our interview in a moment. 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.960 But consider this. 00:16:35.299 --> 00:16:37.679 Consider how Paul's command to husbands 00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:40.159 to love their wives 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:41.899 undoes all of this. 00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:44.419 God's command to love 00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:47.259 begins with constancy of affection 00:16:47.259 --> 00:16:48.759 and high regard. 00:16:49.659 --> 00:16:52.059 It's expressed in self-giving. 00:16:53.700 --> 00:16:56.120 And its goal is to restore 00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.879 and to grow God's image 00:16:57.879 --> 00:16:59.659 in his partner. 00:16:59.659 --> 00:17:03.139 constancy of affection, 00:17:04.339 --> 00:17:05.599 clear direction. 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.099 Men, 00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:10.879 the Bible says 00:17:10.879 --> 00:17:13.139 to give yourself to your wife. 00:17:15.099 --> 00:17:16.639 If sex is an issue, 00:17:17.399 --> 00:17:18.559 talk about it. 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:21.980 But talk about it in a way 00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:24.440 that nourishes and cherishes her. 00:17:25.159 --> 00:17:26.639 If your wife is domineering 00:17:26.639 --> 00:17:27.940 in your thinking, 00:17:27.940 --> 00:17:30.600 then wrap her in love 00:17:30.600 --> 00:17:32.220 as you talk about it, 00:17:32.220 --> 00:17:33.559 as you move toward her. 00:17:34.380 --> 00:17:35.700 All the time, 00:17:35.940 --> 00:17:37.640 pointing her toward Christ, 00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:39.299 to the gospel. 00:17:41.420 --> 00:17:42.519 A husband's love 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:45.019 is exercised in self-giving, 00:17:45.480 --> 00:17:47.200 nourishing and cherishing oneness. 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:50.080 A husband's lead 00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:52.700 is exercised to promote God's glory, 00:17:53.059 --> 00:17:55.180 to point to Christ in the church, 00:17:55.180 --> 00:17:57.420 to showcase the gospel. 00:17:58.940 --> 00:18:00.840 This is headship. 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:03.720 This is love. 00:18:04.620 --> 00:18:05.000 Husbands, 00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:07.820 this is your command. 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:11.640 Let me pray 00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:12.799 and then I'm going to invite some guys up 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:14.980 to have a chat with. 00:18:14.980 --> 00:18:19.579 Father God, 00:18:19.640 --> 00:18:20.200 we thank you 00:18:20.200 --> 00:18:21.480 for sending your son 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:22.200 to rescue us, 00:18:22.259 --> 00:18:22.960 to redeem us. 00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:26.420 We thank you 00:18:26.420 --> 00:18:27.200 for not just 00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:28.200 the rescue 00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:28.819 that you provided, 00:18:28.920 --> 00:18:29.920 but such a pure 00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:30.940 and perfect example 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:31.799 of what love is. 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:33.720 A love that shows 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:34.900 that you just so, 00:18:35.019 --> 00:18:36.200 so cherish us. 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:40.380 A love that shows 00:18:40.380 --> 00:18:41.539 your commitment to us, 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:42.960 to give even 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:43.920 to the point of dying 00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:44.640 in our place. 00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:47.299 Lord, 00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:48.059 we thank you for that 00:18:48.059 --> 00:18:48.620 and we know, 00:18:48.779 --> 00:18:50.140 even as we look at these words, 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:51.259 we know that we're just not equal 00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:52.000 to the task. 00:18:53.779 --> 00:18:55.240 So we ask you to help us. 00:18:56.500 --> 00:18:57.039 Teach us, 00:18:57.140 --> 00:18:57.500 guide us, 00:18:57.600 --> 00:18:57.940 show us, 00:18:58.059 --> 00:18:58.220 Lord, 00:18:58.600 --> 00:18:59.940 not just in your word, 00:19:00.019 --> 00:19:00.819 but in our hearts. 00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:02.299 Transform our hearts 00:19:02.299 --> 00:19:03.200 so that we can 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.579 be men 00:19:05.579 --> 00:19:08.279 who submit to you 00:19:08.279 --> 00:19:10.779 by loving our wives 00:19:10.779 --> 00:19:12.240 as you've loved us. 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:14.779 Amen.