WEBVTT

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 I'd like to invite the Reverend Mike Wensler up to our pulpit this morning.

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 He's going to be bringing God's word.

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 I'm going to let Mike take over and have him tell us a little bit about himself before he preaches.

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 And we're grateful that you were able to come today and willing to come.

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 So, welcome to Shining Mountain.

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 Thank you.

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 Thank you.

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 Good morning.

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 Sweet to be with you all.

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 I understand you're in a series through the book of Proverbs.

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 Is that correct?

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 Wonderful.

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 Appreciate this feedback.

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 Man, this is my first time preaching in person for a few months.

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 I've done some pre-recorded things for our church up in Fort Collins.

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 But as I was introduced, my name is Mike Wensler and I'm the RUF campus minister at Colorado State University.

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 Gosh, I think I, how long ago was it when I preached here last?

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 Eight months?

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 Something like that?

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 It seems, you know, time has both crawled and flown by.

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 But it's, you know, it's a privilege to get to be here.

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 Being a college pastor of sorts, you know, I'm not bound to a specific congregation on Sunday mornings.

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 You know, I'm not on staff at a local church.

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 I'm sent to the campus by our presbytery.

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 And I know that you're familiar with RUF.

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 Jeff Kreisel has preached here, who's the campus minister at Air Force Academy.

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 And, you know, this fall semester is going to be very strange, as I'm sure it is for all of you.

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 The university is still sort of scrambling, and we are really unsure what we can do on campus.

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 So I would covet your prayers for us, just for wisdom, in terms of how we can pursue students and share the gospel and disciple,

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 while largely doing that virtual, which is a blessing and somewhat a hindrance.

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 So we've already heard our passage read this morning, so I'll just say a brief prayer for us again,

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 and then we'll get started on the topic of friendship.

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 Father, we thank you for the opportunity to gather.

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 What a privilege this is, and we are more so aware of this privilege now than maybe we have been in the past.

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 But we do plead with you that you would meet us here this morning.

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 We pray that you would speak to us through your word and apply it to our hearts by your spirit.

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 We pray that we would be comforted in the gospel and encouraged and also convicted and humbled.

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 Lord, please allow the cares and the concerns of our lives and of this world to be set aside for a moment to focus on you.

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 And please give us ears to hear this good news.

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 It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

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 C.S. Lewis famously wrote in his book entitled Four Loves the following quote.

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 He says,

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 In friendship, we think we have chosen our peers.

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 In reality, a few years' difference in the dates of our births,

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 a few more miles between certain houses,

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 the choice of one university instead of the other,

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 the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting,

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 any of these chances might have kept us apart.

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 But for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances.

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 A secret master of ceremonies has been at work.

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 Christ, who said to the disciples,

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 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,

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 can truly say to every group of Christian friends,

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 Ye have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.

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 The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out.

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 It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.

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 True friends are gifts from God.

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 You know this through experience.

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 They are God's grace to us, and we need them.

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 One of my little speeches I regularly give to freshmen their first year on campus

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 goes something like this.

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 You would be better off not dating your freshman year.

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 If, however, you choose to date or have come into college dating,

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 do the best you can to make friends.

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 And if you're dating, my rule of thumb, which is not unique to me,

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 someone else said this first,

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 but spend at least 50% of your free time with your friends,

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 not the majority with your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

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 If you think about it, in college, the opportunities for friendships are unique.

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 The time you have is unique.

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 When else do you have that much flexibility with that sort of little responsibility?

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 There was one particular season of life for me

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 where I lived with two of my best friends who were also Christians.

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 We were sort of always up to something.

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 If it was an impromptu road trip or playing, you know,

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 old school Madden football on PlayStation 2,

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 staying up late watching movies, studying the Bible together,

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 challenging and encouraging one another in our faith.

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 I'm still close with these two guys many years later,

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 and I thank God for them.

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 You know, upon reflection, we don't earn relationships like these.

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 They didn't happen randomly.

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 C.S. Lewis was right.

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 Jesus can truly say to every group of friends,

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 you have not chosen one another, but I've chosen you for one another.

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 But a good friendship isn't always easy, is it?

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 Friends take work and time and resources,

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 and they sometimes hurt you and they disappoint you,

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 and oftentimes they take without giving back.

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 And good friends are hard to find.

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 You know, one recent study I read showed that 45% of adults

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 say they find it difficult to make friends.

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 The average adult hasn't made any new friends in the last five years,

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 and apparently popularity hits its peak at age 23.

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 So that, you know, puts us over the hill for many of us.

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 Moreover, loneliness is something that's devastatingly widespread.

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 I read two different sources that claim

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 between 60 and 75% of Americans today are lonely.

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 So friendship is hard.

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 Loneliness is everywhere.

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 And if you are being honest,

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 you might admit that you are a big part of the problem.

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 Sometimes you let your friends down.

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 Sometimes you are the needy one,

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 and you wear your friends out.

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 You hurt them with your words or with your actions.

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 You neglect them because you're preoccupied elsewhere.

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 You take them for granted or expect too much of them.

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 Proverbs is a very practical book of the Bible,

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 which I'm sure Matthew has pointed out to you already.

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 It's considered wisdom literature,

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 and wisdom is said to be skill in the art of godly living.

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 We need skills in our relationships

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 in order to live them in a way that pleases God.

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 My aim this morning is to really answer one question.

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 How does wisdom describe a godly friend?

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 How does wisdom describe a godly friend?

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 Wisdom says friends do three things.

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 Friends wound, friends encourage, and friends love.

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 So first, let's do friends wound.

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 I believe this is in your bulletin.

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 Proverbs 27, verses 5 through 6.

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 Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

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 Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

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 Profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

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 You know, lots of times we find these

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 better than statements in poetry.

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 Open rebuke is better than hidden love.

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 This idea is that true love is costly.

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 True love is costly.

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 It's not fun to wound your friends.

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 You probably won't enjoy it,

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 and they probably won't like it.

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 But as one author once wrote,

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 if your friend is wrong,

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 then to kiss when we should kill

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 is to put ourselves among his enemies.

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 Unless you want to be an enemy,

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 Proverbs says you need to speak up.

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 Of course, there is perceived risk

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 when wounding and approaching

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 and rebuking a friend.

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 What if they get mad and walk away?

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 Now, sure, that's possible,

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 but it's also unlikely.

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 You know, experience says,

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 and wisdom says,

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 if you correct a friend in love and humility,

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 chances are they will not leave you,

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 but rather this will improve your friendship

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 and make it stronger.

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 Plus, you don't really have an alternative.

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 You're not about to be their enemy

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 and let them continue in their sin.

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 Then you'll pursue them,

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 even if it may cost you.

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 Thinking back to the first six months of marriage

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 for my wife, Lauren, and I,

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 Lauren and our kids are up in Fort Collins.

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 You know, we had just moved

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 to Charlotte, North Carolina,

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 and I had begun seminary,

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 and the first six months of our time there

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 were dreadful, to say the least.

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 You know, we couldn't settle on a church.

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 Lauren hated her job,

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 and because of all of this,

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 I was really questioning my call to ministry.

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 Like, gosh, I don't know

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 if I'm supposed to be here.

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 Lauren's suffering,

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 and we're not doing well,

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 and marriage is hard.

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 Maybe I'm not supposed to be in ministry.

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 So we were about to give up,

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 kind of throwing the towel after a semester

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 and move back to Wisconsin,

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 when a friend, a new friend,

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 sat me down and said,

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 I really think you would be foolish to leave.

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 And so we stayed.

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 And in God's providence and grace,

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 the next two and a half years

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 were particularly sweet.

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 Years of our marriage,

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 we can look back on in thankfulness.

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 We need friends to speak to us this way.

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 Let's continue.

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 Look at Proverbs 27, verse 17.

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 The writer writes,

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 iron sharpens iron,

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 and one man sharpens another.

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 You know, poetry is kind of remarkable

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 in the Bible.

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 It communicates so much with so little.

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 That's really what poetry does.

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 So we read it slow.

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 That's how you ought to approach poetry.

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 You let it,

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 you marinate on the words,

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 you know, like soak that meat

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 in those flavors in the fridge for a while.

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 And we twist the lens,

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 really to focus it on our hearts.

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 To sharpen a piece of metal,

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 another piece of metal is required.

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 Without two pieces,

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 neither could be sharpened.

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 Sharpening, of course,

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 implies growth and correction and change.

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 And this comes through a continual

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 hammering and pounding

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 to make a sharp edge.

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 Now found in this context of friendship,

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 we learn that wounding a friend

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 actually sharpens a friend.

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 Friends don't have to agree on everything,

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 but it has been said that friends

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 ought to be able to discuss anything.

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 They don't have to agree on everything,

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 but they ought to be able to discuss anything.

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 Just an initial word of application

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 on this first point.

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 Wisdom describes a godly friend who wounds.

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 This needs to be standard practice

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 in your relationships.

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 It needs to be.

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 There's no way that you can persist

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 in a close friendship

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 for a long period of time

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 and never disagree

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 and never need to correct one another.

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 Now some of you hate conflict

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 and avoid it like the coronavirus,

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 but you need to see wounding

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 as a redemptive,

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 grace-giving component of friendship.

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 You need to be bold and honest and humble

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 and speak truthfully,

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 even when it's hard and potentially costly.

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 The New Testament confirms this.

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 Galatians 6.1, Paul writes,

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 Brothers, if anyone is caught

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 in any transgression,

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 you who are spiritual should restore him

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 in a spirit of gentleness.

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 Keep watch on yourself,

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 lest you too be tempted.

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 Wounding a friend is restorative.

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 Now on the flip side, of course,

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 you need to be able to receive correction.

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 Let your friends know

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 that you are willing to be wounded

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 for the sake of being sharpened.

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 This means deflecting your natural tendency

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 to be defensive

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 when your friend is brave enough

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 to call you out on something.

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 This is so easy to do,

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 to be defensive

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 when someone, you know,

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 sort of points their finger at you.

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 But our reflex to this

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 ought to be,

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 ought to speak,

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 quick to listen.

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 So again,

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 we need to be honest and humble

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 and receive the wounds

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 from your friend in faith.

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 Secondly, though,

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 what is a godly friend?

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 Godly friends encourage.

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 Friends encourage.

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 Look again at Proverbs 27,

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 verses 9 through 10.

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 Oil and perfume

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 make the heart glad,

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 and the sweetness of a friend

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 comes from his earnest counsel.

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 Do not forsake your friend

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 and your father's friend,

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 and do not go into your brother's house

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 in the day of your calamity.

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 Better is a neighbor who is near

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 than a brother who is far away.

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 So perhaps equally as important

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 as wounding is encouraging.

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 These images of oil and perfume

00:12:36.439 --> 00:12:38.000
 are meant to invoke

00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.459
 pleasantness and satisfaction

00:12:40.459 --> 00:12:41.679
 and joy.

00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:42.740
 In short,

00:12:43.319 --> 00:12:44.259
 as we see in our passage,

00:12:44.379 --> 00:12:45.679
 they make the heart glad.

00:12:46.740 --> 00:12:47.539
 If you think about it,

00:12:47.579 --> 00:12:49.860
 a glad heart is secure.

00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:52.459
 A glad heart is at rest.

00:12:52.860 --> 00:12:54.019
 A glad heart is content.

00:12:54.019 --> 00:12:57.019
 These rare jewels

00:12:57.019 --> 00:12:57.879
 of security,

00:12:58.039 --> 00:12:58.980
 rest, and contentment

00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:00.279
 ultimately come

00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:01.279
 from knowing God,

00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:03.079
 but are often administered

00:13:03.079 --> 00:13:04.000
 to us

00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:05.840
 through the earnest counsel

00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:07.159
 of a sweet friend.

00:13:09.480 --> 00:13:10.860
 The situations in life

00:13:10.860 --> 00:13:12.179
 where we need godly,

00:13:12.340 --> 00:13:13.340
 sweet, friendly counsel

00:13:13.340 --> 00:13:13.860
 and encouragement

00:13:13.860 --> 00:13:15.079
 are, of course,

00:13:15.539 --> 00:13:17.220
 everyday and ubiquitous.

00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:17.740
 You know,

00:13:17.779 --> 00:13:19.179
 should I take this job?

00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:21.079
 Or should I go back to school?

00:13:21.819 --> 00:13:22.679
 Should we move

00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:23.799
 and buy this house?

00:13:23.879 --> 00:13:25.219
 Should I pursue this degree?

00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:27.219
 Should I date this person

00:13:27.219 --> 00:13:28.039
 or should I break up

00:13:28.039 --> 00:13:28.620
 with this person?

00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:30.319
 Should we see a counselor?

00:13:31.059 --> 00:13:32.019
 Should we step in

00:13:32.019 --> 00:13:32.779
 and help our kids

00:13:32.779 --> 00:13:33.479
 figure it out

00:13:33.479 --> 00:13:34.179
 or sort of let them

00:13:34.179 --> 00:13:34.979
 do it on their own?

00:13:35.899 --> 00:13:37.239
 Should I save, you know,

00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:38.839
 this much money every month?

00:13:39.500 --> 00:13:41.419
 Should I invite my elderly parents

00:13:41.419 --> 00:13:42.519
 to come live with us?

00:13:42.799 --> 00:13:44.299
 Should I live with these roommates?

00:13:44.599 --> 00:13:44.779
 I mean,

00:13:44.919 --> 00:13:46.199
 all of these questions

00:13:46.199 --> 00:13:47.559
 and so many more,

00:13:47.859 --> 00:13:48.679
 we ought to turn

00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:49.939
 to our godly friends

00:13:49.939 --> 00:13:50.579
 for counsel.

00:13:50.580 --> 00:13:53.240
 The sweetness of a friend

00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:54.180
 comes from his or her

00:13:54.180 --> 00:13:55.080
 earnest counsel

00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:56.300
 and wisdom says

00:13:56.300 --> 00:13:57.639
 we need true friends

00:13:57.639 --> 00:13:59.800
 to speak into our lives

00:13:59.800 --> 00:14:00.980
 and encourage us.

00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:02.220
 And the New Testament

00:14:02.220 --> 00:14:03.200
 confirms this again

00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:04.200
 in many places.

00:14:04.680 --> 00:14:05.620
 In Romans 15,

00:14:05.800 --> 00:14:06.500
 Paul wrote,

00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:08.320
 for whatever was written

00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:09.560
 in earlier times

00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:11.060
 was written for our instruction

00:14:11.060 --> 00:14:12.740
 so that through perseverance

00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:13.500
 and the encouragement

00:14:13.500 --> 00:14:14.280
 of the scriptures,

00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:15.980
 we might have hope.

00:14:16.140 --> 00:14:16.860
 We need friends

00:14:16.860 --> 00:14:17.580
 to encourage us

00:14:18.120 --> 00:14:19.080
 in the faith.

00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:20.740
 We also need friends

00:14:20.740 --> 00:14:21.620
 to build us up.

00:14:21.920 --> 00:14:22.100
 Again,

00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:22.740
 Paul writes

00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:24.520
 in 1 Thessalonians 5,

00:14:25.020 --> 00:14:26.180
 therefore encourage

00:14:26.180 --> 00:14:26.700
 one another

00:14:26.700 --> 00:14:28.560
 and build each other up

00:14:28.560 --> 00:14:30.000
 just as in fact

00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:30.540
 you are doing,

00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:31.220
 Paul says.

00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:33.000
 We also need friends

00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:34.000
 to stir us

00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:34.780
 toward love

00:14:34.780 --> 00:14:35.680
 and good works.

00:14:35.780 --> 00:14:36.740
 The writer of the Hebrews

00:14:36.740 --> 00:14:37.980
 in Hebrews 10 says,

00:14:38.400 --> 00:14:39.580
 and let us consider

00:14:39.580 --> 00:14:40.440
 how to stir

00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:41.220
 one another up

00:14:41.220 --> 00:14:42.220
 to love and good works,

00:14:42.940 --> 00:14:43.780
 not neglecting

00:14:43.780 --> 00:14:44.560
 to meet together

00:14:44.560 --> 00:14:45.660
 as is the habit of some,

00:14:45.660 --> 00:14:46.920
 but encouraging

00:14:46.920 --> 00:14:47.720
 one another.

00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:50.340
 It dawned on me

00:14:50.340 --> 00:14:50.800
 when I'm trying

00:14:50.800 --> 00:14:52.240
 to teach my children

00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:53.540
 how to do something,

00:14:53.940 --> 00:14:54.080
 you know,

00:14:54.139 --> 00:14:54.720
 it could be

00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:55.820
 riding a bike

00:14:55.820 --> 00:14:57.080
 or doing a flip

00:14:57.080 --> 00:14:57.920
 on the trampoline,

00:14:58.120 --> 00:14:59.420
 which I used to be able

00:14:59.420 --> 00:15:00.100
 to do much better

00:15:00.100 --> 00:15:00.899
 when I was in high school,

00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:01.980
 or, you know,

00:15:02.019 --> 00:15:02.779
 even just learn

00:15:02.779 --> 00:15:04.139
 their letters correctly.

00:15:04.420 --> 00:15:05.680
 They often get frustrated

00:15:05.680 --> 00:15:06.899
 and want to give up,

00:15:07.180 --> 00:15:08.019
 and in times like these,

00:15:08.060 --> 00:15:08.899
 I'm also humbled

00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:09.680
 at my own sin

00:15:09.680 --> 00:15:10.899
 and not handling

00:15:10.899 --> 00:15:11.580
 that very well,

00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:12.480
 and I can try

00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:13.360
 to encourage them.

00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:14.379
 I can try to say things

00:15:14.379 --> 00:15:14.800
 like, you know,

00:15:14.799 --> 00:15:16.679
 hey, learning a new skill

00:15:16.679 --> 00:15:17.519
 takes patience

00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:18.419
 and perseverance.

00:15:18.779 --> 00:15:19.859
 You've got to hang in there,

00:15:20.199 --> 00:15:20.599
 you know,

00:15:20.719 --> 00:15:22.079
 but often my words

00:15:22.079 --> 00:15:22.979
 land flat

00:15:22.979 --> 00:15:24.279
 and are ineffective

00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:25.479
 with my kids.

00:15:25.779 --> 00:15:26.919
 However, I've seen this

00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:27.679
 when a friend,

00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:28.959
 it could be a cousin,

00:15:29.479 --> 00:15:30.519
 a neighbor on the street,

00:15:30.659 --> 00:15:32.099
 someone from school,

00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:33.079
 encourages them

00:15:33.079 --> 00:15:33.939
 to keep trying it.

00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:35.299
 Those words

00:15:35.299 --> 00:15:36.539
 are like magic bullets.

00:15:37.479 --> 00:15:38.539
 Coming from a friend,

00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:39.839
 they have this unique,

00:15:40.159 --> 00:15:41.120
 special power.

00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:43.600
 It's because encouragement

00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:44.299
 from a friend

00:15:44.299 --> 00:15:45.279
 is powerful.

00:15:45.860 --> 00:15:47.419
 It's absolutely necessary,

00:15:47.560 --> 00:15:48.179
 and as we've seen

00:15:48.179 --> 00:15:49.019
 from the New Testament,

00:15:49.500 --> 00:15:51.179
 it actually is transformative

00:15:51.179 --> 00:15:52.460
 to give us hope

00:15:52.460 --> 00:15:53.440
 and encouragement

00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:54.179
 and love.

00:15:55.759 --> 00:15:56.539
 A little bit more

00:15:56.539 --> 00:15:57.139
 of application.

00:15:57.759 --> 00:15:58.560
 Wisdom describes

00:15:58.560 --> 00:15:59.480
 a godly friend

00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:00.480
 as an encourager.

00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:01.980
 Now, just to say this,

00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:03.480
 it's completely acceptable

00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:04.460
 with your friends

00:16:04.460 --> 00:16:05.740
 just to hang out

00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:06.340
 and laugh

00:16:06.340 --> 00:16:07.180
 and tell stories

00:16:07.180 --> 00:16:08.120
 and talk about hobbies

00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:09.060
 and news

00:16:09.060 --> 00:16:10.060
 and politics,

00:16:10.059 --> 00:16:11.779
 but it's also

00:16:11.779 --> 00:16:13.500
 completely necessary

00:16:13.500 --> 00:16:15.379
 to encourage one another

00:16:15.379 --> 00:16:16.719
 and to take counsel

00:16:16.719 --> 00:16:18.299
 with one another.

00:16:19.099 --> 00:16:20.399
 If you want

00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:21.779
 a friend like this,

00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:22.919
 I think the scriptures

00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:23.579
 would tell us

00:16:23.579 --> 00:16:25.039
 to start by being

00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:26.679
 a friend like this.

00:16:27.819 --> 00:16:28.719
 Be humble

00:16:28.719 --> 00:16:30.379
 and ask for counsel.

00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:32.599
 Let your friends know

00:16:32.599 --> 00:16:34.479
 when you need encouragement

00:16:34.479 --> 00:16:37.039
 and offer well-timed

00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:37.959
 words of comfort

00:16:37.959 --> 00:16:39.119
 to others.

00:16:41.059 --> 00:16:42.079
 The third thing

00:16:42.079 --> 00:16:43.059
 that wisdom says

00:16:43.059 --> 00:16:45.179
 a godly friend is

00:16:45.179 --> 00:16:47.379
 is a person who loves.

00:16:47.500 --> 00:16:48.459
 So friends love.

00:16:48.719 --> 00:16:51.000
 Look again at Proverbs 17, 17.

00:16:52.119 --> 00:16:52.399
 It says,

00:16:52.579 --> 00:16:53.859
 A friend loves

00:16:53.859 --> 00:16:55.059
 at all times

00:16:55.059 --> 00:16:56.059
 and a brother

00:16:56.059 --> 00:16:57.719
 is born for adversity.

00:16:58.379 --> 00:16:58.739
 And I don't know

00:16:58.739 --> 00:16:59.459
 if this is in your bulletin,

00:16:59.539 --> 00:17:00.719
 but 18, 24.

00:17:01.199 --> 00:17:01.519
 It says,

00:17:01.599 --> 00:17:03.219
 A man of many companions

00:17:03.219 --> 00:17:04.440
 may come to ruin,

00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.019
 but there is a friend

00:17:06.019 --> 00:17:07.400
 who sticks closer

00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:07.960
 than a brother.

00:17:09.840 --> 00:17:10.920
 Just going slow

00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:11.440
 for a moment,

00:17:11.600 --> 00:17:12.600
 I think this is

00:17:12.600 --> 00:17:13.320
 pretty revealing.

00:17:14.900 --> 00:17:15.460
 We,

00:17:15.660 --> 00:17:16.200
 and this is

00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:17.279
 pretty uniform

00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:18.480
 for every person,

00:17:18.860 --> 00:17:20.120
 want to be loved

00:17:20.120 --> 00:17:21.559
 at all times.

00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:24.039
 We want this.

00:17:24.600 --> 00:17:25.600
 We want to be loved

00:17:25.600 --> 00:17:26.600
 at all times.

00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:27.759
 We want someone

00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:29.940
 to walk with us

00:17:29.940 --> 00:17:30.500
 through,

00:17:30.500 --> 00:17:32.359
 to use this language,

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:33.339
 the valleys,

00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:35.039
 the switchbacks up,

00:17:35.160 --> 00:17:36.700
 and the peaks of life.

00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:38.079
 We want someone

00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:39.039
 to walk with us

00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:39.640
 always,

00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:40.940
 loving us constantly

00:17:40.940 --> 00:17:41.839
 through all of this.

00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:43.180
 King David,

00:17:43.299 --> 00:17:43.839
 who was inspired

00:17:43.839 --> 00:17:44.559
 by the Holy Spirit,

00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:45.960
 wrote this in Psalm 23.

00:17:46.220 --> 00:17:46.519
 He said,

00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:48.420
 The Lord is my shepherd.

00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:50.180
 I shall not want.

00:17:51.220 --> 00:17:52.139
 He leads me

00:17:52.139 --> 00:17:53.299
 beside still waters.

00:17:53.420 --> 00:17:54.759
 He restores my soul.

00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:56.039
 He leads me

00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:57.160
 in paths of righteousness.

00:17:57.900 --> 00:17:58.720
 Even though I walk

00:17:58.720 --> 00:17:59.359
 through the valley

00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:00.379
 of the shadow of death,

00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:01.700
 I will fear no evil,

00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:04.099
 for you are with me.

00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:06.539
 You are with me,

00:18:06.660 --> 00:18:07.400
 writes David.

00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:08.420
 This hunger

00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:09.180
 for love

00:18:09.180 --> 00:18:09.879
 and security

00:18:09.879 --> 00:18:10.680
 from earthly

00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:12.799
 actually exposes

00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:13.619
 our need

00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:14.539
 for love

00:18:14.539 --> 00:18:16.019
 from our heavenly friend.

00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:17.839
 What's more,

00:18:17.980 --> 00:18:18.279
 actually,

00:18:18.619 --> 00:18:19.139
 I would argue

00:18:19.139 --> 00:18:19.839
 the love

00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:21.420
 of a true godly friend

00:18:21.420 --> 00:18:22.559
 shows us

00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:23.460
 the love of Christ.

00:18:25.379 --> 00:18:26.299
 Jesus loves his people

00:18:26.299 --> 00:18:27.039
 at all times.

00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:28.299
 He loves us

00:18:28.299 --> 00:18:29.220
 when we are broken

00:18:29.220 --> 00:18:29.819
 and weak.

00:18:30.379 --> 00:18:31.279
 He loves us

00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:31.980
 when we're sinful

00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:32.619
 and exposed.

00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:34.139
 He loves us

00:18:34.139 --> 00:18:35.119
 when we're wrong

00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:36.119
 and rebellious.

00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:37.079
 He loves us

00:18:37.079 --> 00:18:37.599
 when we're filled

00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:38.240
 with doubt.

00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:38.920
 He loves us

00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:39.220
 when we're

00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:40.639
 angry and afraid.

00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:42.160
 You know,

00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:42.700
 we're going to sing

00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:43.319
 this song

00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.240
 right after this message,

00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:47.440
 but in the year 1910,

00:18:47.640 --> 00:18:48.920
 John Wilbur Chapman

00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:49.779
 wrote the hymn,

00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:50.819
 Jesus,

00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:51.480
 what a friend

00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:52.039
 for sinners.

00:18:52.940 --> 00:18:53.900
 The first verse

00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:54.559
 says this,

00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:55.000
 Jesus,

00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:56.740
 what a friend

00:18:56.740 --> 00:18:57.779
 for sinners.

00:18:59.000 --> 00:18:59.319
 Jesus,

00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:01.000
 lover of my soul,

00:19:01.740 --> 00:19:03.000
 friends may fail me,

00:19:03.460 --> 00:19:04.720
 foes assail me,

00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:05.380
 he,

00:19:05.620 --> 00:19:06.400
 my savior,

00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:07.759
 makes me whole.

00:19:08.700 --> 00:19:10.279
 The purest friendship

00:19:10.279 --> 00:19:10.920
 available

00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:11.980
 is found

00:19:11.980 --> 00:19:12.759
 in the love

00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:13.440
 and friendship

00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:14.299
 of Jesus.

00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:16.279
 A friend

00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:16.700
 who sticks

00:19:16.700 --> 00:19:17.660
 closer than a brother

00:19:17.660 --> 00:19:18.640
 is a friend

00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:19.240
 who bears

00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:19.879
 your burdens

00:19:19.879 --> 00:19:20.700
 with you.

00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:21.980
 Paul,

00:19:22.119 --> 00:19:22.299
 again,

00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:23.539
 in Galatians 6.2,

00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:23.920
 says,

00:19:24.379 --> 00:19:25.259
 bear one another's

00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:25.720
 burdens

00:19:25.720 --> 00:19:27.940
 and so fulfill

00:19:27.940 --> 00:19:29.119
 the law of Christ.

00:19:29.700 --> 00:19:31.180
 So a loving friend

00:19:31.180 --> 00:19:32.539
 doesn't stand

00:19:32.539 --> 00:19:33.619
 far off

00:19:33.619 --> 00:19:34.379
 and, you know,

00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:35.059
 sort of shout

00:19:35.059 --> 00:19:35.819
 from a distance,

00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:37.059
 I'm so sorry,

00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:37.900
 it's really hard

00:19:37.900 --> 00:19:38.440
 that you're going

00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:39.140
 through this,

00:19:39.480 --> 00:19:39.619
 you know,

00:19:39.660 --> 00:19:40.460
 I'll shoot you

00:19:40.460 --> 00:19:41.440
 a text next week.

00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:42.820
 Rather,

00:19:43.700 --> 00:19:44.620
 a loving friend

00:19:44.620 --> 00:19:45.799
 draws near,

00:19:46.259 --> 00:19:47.080
 sort of climbs

00:19:47.080 --> 00:19:48.000
 down into the

00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:48.779
 emotional pit

00:19:48.779 --> 00:19:49.580
 that you're in,

00:19:49.940 --> 00:19:51.059
 cries with you

00:19:51.059 --> 00:19:51.640
 and stays

00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:52.840
 with you.

00:19:53.259 --> 00:19:53.759
 It's what David

00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:54.340
 was getting at

00:19:54.340 --> 00:19:54.900
 when he said,

00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:56.080
 the Lord is with me

00:19:56.080 --> 00:19:56.960
 through the valleys.

00:19:58.320 --> 00:19:59.200
 And in the gospel,

00:19:59.480 --> 00:20:00.320
 Jesus' friendship

00:20:00.320 --> 00:20:00.720
 with you

00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:01.680
 goes even further.

00:20:02.340 --> 00:20:03.259
 The apostle John

00:20:03.259 --> 00:20:04.180
 recorded Jesus

00:20:04.180 --> 00:20:05.660
 saying these words,

00:20:06.660 --> 00:20:08.180
 this is my commandment

00:20:08.180 --> 00:20:08.920
 that you love

00:20:08.920 --> 00:20:09.320
 one another

00:20:09.320 --> 00:20:10.559
 as I have loved you.

00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:12.460
 greater love

00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:13.319
 has no one

00:20:13.319 --> 00:20:14.000
 than this,

00:20:14.460 --> 00:20:15.059
 that someone

00:20:15.059 --> 00:20:16.379
 lay down his life

00:20:16.379 --> 00:20:17.619
 for his friends.

00:20:18.419 --> 00:20:19.700
 You are my friends

00:20:19.700 --> 00:20:20.419
 if you do

00:20:20.419 --> 00:20:21.240
 what I command you.

00:20:21.500 --> 00:20:22.039
 No longer

00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:23.139
 do I call you servants

00:20:23.139 --> 00:20:23.759
 for the servant

00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:24.319
 does not know

00:20:24.319 --> 00:20:24.859
 what his master

00:20:24.859 --> 00:20:25.379
 is doing.

00:20:25.940 --> 00:20:26.619
 But I have called

00:20:26.619 --> 00:20:27.359
 you friends

00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:28.539
 for all that I have

00:20:28.539 --> 00:20:29.240
 heard from my father

00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:29.839
 I have made known

00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:30.279
 to you.

00:20:32.159 --> 00:20:33.339
 The love of Jesus

00:20:33.339 --> 00:20:34.440
 took him somewhere.

00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:35.659
 It took him

00:20:35.659 --> 00:20:36.099
 to that

00:20:36.099 --> 00:20:38.419
 skull-shaped hill

00:20:38.419 --> 00:20:39.460
 called Golgotha

00:20:39.460 --> 00:20:40.220
 in Jerusalem

00:20:40.220 --> 00:20:41.440
 where he bled

00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:41.960
 and suffered

00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:42.700
 and died.

00:20:42.920 --> 00:20:43.220
 Why?

00:20:43.740 --> 00:20:44.940
 To save his friends.

00:20:46.200 --> 00:20:47.900
 We love as friends

00:20:47.900 --> 00:20:49.200
 because Jesus

00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:50.440
 first loved us.

00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:52.860
 Thinking about

00:20:52.860 --> 00:20:54.039
 sacrificial love

00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:54.880
 reminded me

00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:55.940
 of this story.

00:20:56.380 --> 00:20:57.100
 It's in the context

00:20:57.100 --> 00:20:57.660
 of marriage

00:20:57.660 --> 00:20:59.160
 but it's the story

00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:00.299
 about B.B. Warfield

00:21:00.299 --> 00:21:01.480
 and his love

00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:02.539
 for his wife Annie.

00:21:03.140 --> 00:21:03.960
 So B.B. Warfield

00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:04.880
 was a professor

00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:05.440
 of theology

00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:06.620
 at Princeton Seminary.

00:21:06.619 --> 00:21:08.579
 After their wedding

00:21:08.579 --> 00:21:10.019
 B.B. or Benjamin

00:21:10.019 --> 00:21:10.619
 and Annie

00:21:10.619 --> 00:21:12.279
 traveled across Europe

00:21:12.279 --> 00:21:13.839
 and so the story goes

00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:14.879
 while on a walk

00:21:14.879 --> 00:21:16.699
 through the Harz Mountains

00:21:16.699 --> 00:21:18.259
 the couple was caught

00:21:18.259 --> 00:21:19.719
 in a violent thunderstorm.

00:21:20.679 --> 00:21:21.419
 Annie suffered

00:21:21.419 --> 00:21:22.459
 a severe trauma

00:21:22.459 --> 00:21:23.739
 to her nervous system

00:21:23.739 --> 00:21:24.659
 from which she

00:21:24.659 --> 00:21:25.399
 never recovered.

00:21:25.619 --> 00:21:26.579
 One author wrote

00:21:26.579 --> 00:21:28.159
 she was so severely

00:21:28.159 --> 00:21:28.899
 traumatized

00:21:28.899 --> 00:21:29.459
 that she would spend

00:21:29.459 --> 00:21:30.279
 the rest of her life

00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:31.059
 as an invalid

00:21:31.059 --> 00:21:32.759
 becoming increasingly

00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:33.779
 more incapacitative

00:21:33.779 --> 00:21:34.759
 as the years went by.

00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:36.180
 Her husband

00:21:36.180 --> 00:21:36.700
 B.B.

00:21:36.839 --> 00:21:37.700
 was to spend

00:21:37.700 --> 00:21:38.980
 the rest of their lives

00:21:38.980 --> 00:21:39.319
 together

00:21:39.319 --> 00:21:40.079
 giving her

00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:41.440
 his constant care

00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:41.839
 and attention

00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:42.700
 until her death

00:21:42.700 --> 00:21:43.759
 in 1915.

00:21:44.779 --> 00:21:45.619
 Another Princeton

00:21:45.619 --> 00:21:46.879
 professor wrote this.

00:21:47.720 --> 00:21:48.339
 His name was

00:21:48.339 --> 00:21:49.400
 Oswald Alice.

00:21:49.539 --> 00:21:49.920
 He said

00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.579
 I used to see them

00:21:51.579 --> 00:21:52.559
 walking together

00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:54.259
 and the gentleness

00:21:54.259 --> 00:21:55.119
 of his manner

00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:56.740
 was striking proof

00:21:56.740 --> 00:21:58.160
 of the loving care

00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.420
 with which he surrounded her.

00:22:00.019 --> 00:22:00.960
 They had no children.

00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:02.480
 During the years

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:03.319
 spent at Princeton

00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:04.899
 he rarely if ever

00:22:04.899 --> 00:22:05.879
 was absent

00:22:05.879 --> 00:22:07.339
 for any length of time.

00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:10.539
 Thinking about friendship

00:22:10.539 --> 00:22:11.379
 and true love

00:22:11.379 --> 00:22:13.599
 true love will cost you

00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:15.879
 it will bend you

00:22:15.879 --> 00:22:17.059
 and it will change you.

00:22:18.779 --> 00:22:20.139
 Jesus was not afraid

00:22:20.139 --> 00:22:21.439
 to put it frankly

00:22:21.439 --> 00:22:22.679
 to his disciples.

00:22:23.259 --> 00:22:24.879
 This is my commandment

00:22:24.879 --> 00:22:25.559
 he says

00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:27.119
 love one another

00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.879
 as I have loved you.

00:22:30.399 --> 00:22:31.659
 Knowing the true

00:22:31.659 --> 00:22:32.960
 and pure love of Christ

00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.200
 with the help

00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:35.660
 of God's Holy Spirit

00:22:35.660 --> 00:22:37.440
 you are enabled

00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:38.500
 to love your friends

00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:39.759
 at all times.

00:22:40.600 --> 00:22:41.519
 No of course

00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:42.440
 you will not love

00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:43.380
 your friends perfectly.

00:22:43.819 --> 00:22:44.840
 You are not Jesus

00:22:44.840 --> 00:22:45.579
 of course

00:22:45.579 --> 00:22:47.039
 your friends need Jesus

00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:48.440
 but the Bible tells us

00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:49.519
 they also need you.

00:22:50.600 --> 00:22:51.600
 Your friends need you.

00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:53.180
 So to recap

00:22:53.180 --> 00:22:54.559
 true friends

00:22:54.559 --> 00:22:56.440
 are a gift from God.

00:22:56.539 --> 00:22:57.660
 They're God's grace to us

00:22:57.660 --> 00:22:58.259
 and we need them

00:22:58.259 --> 00:22:59.160
 and friendship of course

00:22:59.160 --> 00:22:59.819
 is hard

00:22:59.819 --> 00:23:00.900
 and we are often

00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:02.140
 a big part of the problem

00:23:02.140 --> 00:23:03.080
 and loneliness

00:23:03.080 --> 00:23:03.940
 is crushing.

00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:05.740
 We need skills

00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:06.740
 hence wisdom

00:23:06.740 --> 00:23:08.220
 to please

00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:09.100
 and honor God

00:23:09.100 --> 00:23:10.700
 with our relationships

00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:12.400
 and wisdom says

00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:13.300
 that true friends

00:23:13.300 --> 00:23:14.160
 wound

00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:15.019
 and encourage

00:23:15.019 --> 00:23:15.980
 and love

00:23:15.980 --> 00:23:16.920
 like Jesus.

00:23:17.500 --> 00:23:18.360
 I want to close

00:23:18.360 --> 00:23:19.860
 by quoting Paul

00:23:19.860 --> 00:23:21.340
 again from Colossians 3

00:23:21.340 --> 00:23:22.580
 which I really think

00:23:22.580 --> 00:23:24.140
 nicely summarizes

00:23:24.140 --> 00:23:25.460
 a godly friendship.

00:23:27.020 --> 00:23:27.660
 Paul writes

00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:28.780
 put on them

00:23:28.780 --> 00:23:30.940
 as God's chosen ones

00:23:30.940 --> 00:23:32.620
 holy and beloved

00:23:32.620 --> 00:23:34.420
 compassionate hearts

00:23:34.420 --> 00:23:35.560
 kindness

00:23:35.560 --> 00:23:36.980
 humility

00:23:36.980 --> 00:23:38.120
 meekness

00:23:38.120 --> 00:23:39.140
 and patience

00:23:39.140 --> 00:23:40.580
 bearing with

00:23:40.580 --> 00:23:41.220
 one another

00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:42.800
 and if one has a complaint

00:23:42.800 --> 00:23:43.660
 against another

00:23:43.660 --> 00:23:44.700
 forgiving each other

00:23:44.700 --> 00:23:45.820
 as the Lord

00:23:45.820 --> 00:23:46.560
 has forgiven you

00:23:46.560 --> 00:23:47.320
 so you also

00:23:47.320 --> 00:23:48.000
 must forgive

00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:50.440
 and above all these

00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:51.400
 put on love

00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:52.540
 which binds

00:23:52.539 --> 00:23:53.500
 everything together

00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:55.440
 in perfect harmony.

00:23:55.940 --> 00:23:57.059
 Let me pray for us.

00:23:58.399 --> 00:23:59.680
 Father we thank you

00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:00.619
 for your word

00:24:00.619 --> 00:24:01.460
 to us this morning

00:24:01.460 --> 00:24:02.279
 we thank you

00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:03.359
 that you have

00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:04.279
 given us friends

00:24:04.279 --> 00:24:04.920
 you've given us

00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:05.599
 the church

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:06.139
 which is really

00:24:06.139 --> 00:24:06.819
 a community

00:24:06.819 --> 00:24:08.980
 of special friendship

00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:09.659
 relationships

00:24:09.659 --> 00:24:10.279
 where we're more

00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:10.639
 than that

00:24:10.639 --> 00:24:10.940
 we're actually

00:24:10.940 --> 00:24:11.759
 brothers and sisters

00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:12.440
 in Christ

00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:14.039
 or we pray

00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:15.039
 for boldness

00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:16.359
 for wisdom

00:24:16.359 --> 00:24:17.440
 to know

00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:18.200
 when to wound

00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:18.759
 and encourage

00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:20.139
 and how to love

00:24:20.140 --> 00:24:20.940
 our friends

00:24:20.940 --> 00:24:21.980
 and we pray

00:24:21.980 --> 00:24:22.800
 that our motivation

00:24:22.800 --> 00:24:23.800
 to do this

00:24:23.800 --> 00:24:25.600
 our source of strength

00:24:25.600 --> 00:24:26.240
 would really be

00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:26.900
 in the gospel

00:24:26.900 --> 00:24:27.940
 in Jesus' love

00:24:27.940 --> 00:24:28.700
 for us

00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:30.680
 may we be challenged

00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:31.740
 by his love

00:24:31.740 --> 00:24:32.860
 also equipped

00:24:32.860 --> 00:24:33.540
 and sent out

00:24:33.540 --> 00:24:34.860
 to go and love others

00:24:34.860 --> 00:24:37.580
 and really I pray

00:24:37.580 --> 00:24:39.980
 that Christian friendships

00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:41.600
 would be on display

00:24:41.600 --> 00:24:43.220
 for the world to see

00:24:43.220 --> 00:24:45.280
 that would make them

00:24:45.280 --> 00:24:46.580
 jealous and curious

00:24:46.579 --> 00:24:48.379
 to pursue you

00:24:48.379 --> 00:24:50.500
 and to ask

00:24:50.500 --> 00:24:51.339
 about the gospel

00:24:51.339 --> 00:24:52.480
 please Lord

00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:52.980
 be with us

00:24:52.980 --> 00:24:53.460
 equip us

00:24:53.460 --> 00:24:54.119
 and send us out

00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:54.799
 today we pray

00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:55.519
 in Jesus name

00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:56.099
 Amen