Recording. Check, check. One, two, three, check.
Alright, welcome to Sunday School.
So I hear we're competing with the Cherry Blossom Festival today.
If you don't live in New Haven, today is the Cherry Blossom Festival over in Worcester Square.
Because the cherry trees, I don't think they're blooming yet though.
You know, they always have to make these festivals and then...
It's hit or miss.
Right, it's hit or miss.
Trees didn't get the memo.
Trees didn't get the memo. God didn't get the memo.
Don't complain about the trees. It's about God.
Didn't you hear the sermon this morning?
There you go.
So anyway, they...
Yeah, so we may be small, but we will be fierce.
I'm going to start by saying this is my primary resource for today.
It's the Gospel of John by D.A. Carson.
He was one of my seminary professors, but that's not why I like him.
I like him because I think he's one of the best New Testament scholars of the 20, 21st century.
And this is probably his, in some ways, his greatest work.
And if you wanted to read a commentary, this would be the one I would recommend.
There are parts of it that get more technical because he's dealing with all of the scholarship about the Gospels and sources and stuff like that.
But at the end of the day, his theological and biblical coherence of understanding how the book of John is put together and how it communicates the message of the book of John is pretty powerful.
So anyway, I picked this up at the Cumberland Valley Book Distributors in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, which if you're ever going through Carlisle, Pennsylvania, you ought to stop by because they also have online selling.
It's one of the great places to get cheap academic books if you're interested.
All right.
Well, that's enough of the advertisement.
We're going to go ahead and get started.
We really are a small group.
So what I'm going to ask you all to do is get up.
Let's make a little circle.
I'm going to put the microphone down so that we can record what we're doing.
We're just going to sit and talk together.
I don't need to lecture at you.
Thank you.
What are you talking about?
It's Hospital John.
Oh, I love John.
I love John.
John 8.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Now you just like circle.
We want to be able to talk to one another.
This is it.
No.
We actually need you.
Back.
Back, but just closer to one another.
There we go.
All right.
Good.
It's the best place to be.
Best place to be.
Everyone's in the front of the class today.
So if you have a Bible, you can turn with me to John 20.
As you know, this series is an ongoing series about the resurrection of Jesus and its significance
in our lives.
These first four weeks, we've been covering the four gospel accounts with a particular
lens of just asking, what is it that this particular gospel adds to the biblical account
of the resurrection?
How is it that the four gospel accounts give us a richer explanation than any single one
does or a fuller understanding of what happened and what its significant was for us?
And so its significance is for us.
And so we're now at the end of that.
The next four weeks, we're going to be looking at some of the passages in, we're going to
look at Peter's sermon in Acts 2.
We're going to look at 1 Corinthians 15 for two weeks.
And we're going to look at Colossians 3 to walk through how the early church, through the
Apostle Paul and Peter in Acts, how the early church understood the resurrection and its
significance for us.
So that's kind of the picture of what we're doing and why we're doing it.
So what I'm going to do is, John 20 and 21, there's a lot of good stuff in here.
So we're going to focus more on John 20 than John 21, although we will actually talk about
both.
And what I'd like to do is to pray and then read John 20 together.
Now actually, let's read them both.
We've got time.
Let's read them both and then we'll get going.
Okay?
So let's pray together.
Lord, thank you for your word and thank you especially for the gospel of John and Lord,
how you used this man and his writing, how you speak to us through him, how you inspired
him to write your word in such a way that it has fed your church and your people for
thousands of years.
Lord, we pray this morning for you as for your work among us that as we read these things,
we would take to heart what it is that John is communicating to us about you and particularly
about the wonders of a resurrected Savior and all that that means for us.
We pray these things in Jesus' name.
Amen.
All right, Tyler.
Tyler, why don't you start?
And we're just going to go around like a small group.
We're just going to read until you get tired or you get to an end of a sentence or an end
of the paragraph.
And if you really don't want to, you can look at the guy next to you and say, you know,
you can keep going if you don't want to read.
So we'll just read 20 and 21 together.
All right, John 20.
Now on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early while it was still dark
and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.
So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and
said to them, they had taken the Lord out of the tomb.
And we do not know where they had laid him.
So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb.
Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the
tomb first.
And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in.
Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb.
He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus' head,
not lying with the linen cloths, but folded up in a place by itself.
Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed.
For as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead.
Then the disciples went back to their homes.
But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept, she stooped to look into the tomb.
And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head
and one at the feet.
They said to her, Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you seeking?
Jesus said to her, Mary.
She turned and said to him in Aramaic, Rabboni, which means teacher.
Jesus said to her, Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father.
But go to my brothers and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.
Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, I have seen the Lord, and that he had said these things to her.
On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, Peace be with you.
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, Peace be with you, as the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit.
If you forgive the sins of anyone, they are forgiven.
If you withhold forgiveness from anyone, it is withheld.
Now Jesus, one of the twelve, called the twin, was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples told him, We have seen the Lord.
But he said to them, Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails,
and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.
Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them.
Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace be with you.
Then he said to Thomas, Put your finger here and see my hands, and put out your hand and place it in my side.
Do not disbelieve, but believe.
Thomas answered him, My Lord and my God.
Jesus said to him, Have you believed because you have seen me?
Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.
So verse 30.
Do you want to read?
I'm still catching up.
Okay.
And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book.
But these are written that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,
and the believing might have life through his name.
After these things, Jesus showed himself again to the disciples of the Sea of Tiberias,
and on this wise showed himself.
There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathaniel of Cana in Galilee,
and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples.
Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fish in here.
They saith unto him, We also go with thee.
They went forth and entered into a ship immediately, and that night they caught nothing.
But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus.
Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat?
They answered him, No.
And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find.
They cast before, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.
Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord.
Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord,
gird his fish as codentum, for he was naked, and did cast himself into the sea.
And the other disciples came in a little ship, for they were not far from land,
but as it was two hundred cubits dragging the net with fishes.
And as soon as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there,
and fish laid there on and brayed.
Jesus said to them, Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.
Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, one hundred and fifty three of them.
Although there were so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to them, Come and have breakfast.
None of the disciples dared to ask him, Who are you?
They knew it was the Lord.
Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so went the fish.
This is now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,
Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?
He said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
He said to him, Feed my lambs.
He said to him a second time, Simon, son of John, do you love me?
He said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
He said to him, Tend my sheep.
He said to him a third time, Simon, son of John, do you love me?
Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, Do you love him?
He said to him, Lord, you know everything.
You know that I love you.
Jesus said to him, Feed my sheep.
Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted.
When you were old, you would stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you, and you do not want to go.
This he said to show about what kind of death he was to glorify God.
After saying this, he said to him, Follow me.
Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them.
The one who had been reclining at table was to him, and it said, Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?
When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man?
And Jesus said to him, If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?
You follow me.
So the saying spread abroad.
The brothers, that this disciple was not to die.
Yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die.
But if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?
This is the disciple who is bearing witness about these things, and who has written these things.
And we know that his testimony is true.
Now, there are many other things that Jesus did.
Were every one of them to be written, I suppose, the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.
All right.
What does John have to contribute?
First of all, one of the nice things about John is that people wrestle with the Gospels to think,
Who is their audience?
What was their purpose in writing?
Do different Gospels have slightly different audiences or slightly different purposes?
John's really explicit, right?
What's John's purpose in writing this book overall?
Am I not Jesus?
The Christ.
Yeah.
So look at verses 30 and 31, right?
So that you might know that Jesus is the Christ.
What's the significance of the Christ?
What does that term mean?
Anyone know?
The anointed one.
Right.
So it's a picture.
It's someone who would...
The first century Jews had an expectation from the Old Testament
that there would be one anointed by the Lord who would come.
An anointing, in this case, often had overtones of kingship.
It sometimes has overtones of priesthood.
In Jesus, it combined those in a wonderful way.
And so that you would know that Jesus is the one who is anointed by God to be the Savior of people.
Right?
And this is the second part, right?
That not only that Jesus is the Christ, but that the Christ is the Son of God,
bringing together from the very beginning.
You think about the beginning of John, if you remember.
John begins his gospel with this immensely large view.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
And the Word was Jesus Christ.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.
And so he starts his book with this incredibly cosmic view of Jesus,
the Creator of all things, the one who is God with God,
and suggesting the Trinitarian perspective that John brings to his gospel
to remind us that you see the three persons of one God at work
in this very central work of salvation.
That Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,
and that by believing you may have life in his name.
So this is the goal that John is telling us about.
That there is actually spiritual and eternal life to be found with God.
The most famous Bible verse in every football stadium in America is what?
John 3.16, right?
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have what?
Eternal, everlasting life.
Right.
So this is a theme that runs throughout the gospel, that life is found in Jesus.
Right.
Now, when we get to the resurrection, that seems to be pretty important, doesn't it?
What we see in the accounts of Jesus bringing this life to people.
There are actually a few things I want to draw out of here.
But one of the largest things that you see that's unique to John in the way that he spins it out
is John has encounters.
He has an encounter with Mary.
He has an encounter with Thomas.
He has an encounter with Peter in these two chapters
where he is meeting them in the midst of their confusion and doubt and despair after his death.
And in meeting the resurrected Christ, they are transformed.
And that's one of the key things that John wants us to see as we look at this.
Before we get to those stories, because that's what I want to spend the bulk of my time,
I just want to look at the first eight verses,
because there's something else that John is doing in the first eight verses in particular.
He's giving details that are not clear in some of the other gospel accounts to the same degree
in order to help clarify the nature of the eyewitness account that is being told here.
Now, some of you have been in Sunday school for the last couple of weeks.
Why is the eyewitness account important in the gospels?
It authenticates the message the apostles were preaching.
Okay.
It was, we saw Christ who rose from the dead,
and if you don't believe me, ask these other people that saw it.
Right, right, right.
It's not a myth, right?
It's not a fairy tale.
True story.
My family went to a church for a while when I was a younger child that didn't believe Jesus was God.
It's a long story why we got there and, you know, comes from my dad's spiritual background and stuff.
But we left that church because when they, when this church celebrated Easter,
which sort of is weird if you don't think Jesus is God,
but they celebrated Easter and the pastor stood up, according to my mom, this is my mom's account,
and said, and on Easter Sunday, something wonderful happened.
And now we have hope.
But there was no content to it.
There was nothing except Easter Sunday is supposed to be a day where we get warm fuzzies about the hopefulness of the world.
And that was the only thing that they could say.
Jesus actually gives us something far more specific.
The gospel is a true gospel account.
The historical account of Jesus rising from the dead gives us something far more substantive than that.
We have a hope that's based on something that actually happened.
And so the eyewitness testimony is saying this isn't just a theory or a philosophy
or a religious myth that's meant to arouse in us some kind of religious feeling.
It's actually what happened.
And because it happened, it changes everything.
When you look through the 10 verses of chapter 20,
does anything strike you about the eyewitness account in this one in particular?
What's that?
Did you read that?
I didn't hear you.
Oh, look at John 20, verses 1 through 10.
And see if there's anything that strikes you as interesting or that stands out about how John tells the story of them discovering the empty tomb.
I just always love the race.
The race?
The foot race?
Yes.
James and John.
Or John and Peter.
John and Peter running to the top.
Apparently John's either out of breath when he gets there or he's scared,
so he doesn't want to go away in.
It's when he beat Peter.
Yeah, but we know that.
Right, right.
John was a faster runner, but then Peter, in his typical impetuous way, blows by him to actually go into the tomb,
which you wouldn't want to do two days later.
Think about it.
There was a dead body that was embalmed, but, you know, I mean, when Lazarus died, by four days,
they were saying, don't even open the tomb because the stink will be too great.
So, you wouldn't willingly necessarily, like, walk into a tomb, but Peter blows right in to see.
Yeah, what else?
What else about this account?
Yeah.
They were in the middle of a holiday where they had to be clean, and they were willing to go into this tomb.
Yeah.
So, this was the Passover, right?
Jesus was crucified on a Friday of the Passover celebration.
And so, yeah, that's a pretty major thing there.
I mean, all of them are, in terms of taking care of Jesus' body, having to interact with this reality of ritual uncleanness.
Yeah, that comes with that.
Good.
What else?
Hey, guys.
The disciples were ignorant of what was going on.
Like, they did not yet understand the Scripture.
Yeah.
They had no idea what the significance of the empty tomb was initially.
Yeah.
So, it's so easy, because this has been the story of the church for 2,000 years.
It's so easy for us to think, oh, yeah, Jesus rose from the dead.
Right?
Have you ever talked to your friends who didn't grow up maybe in a church background about the idea of resurrection?
Have you ever had a response of, like, that's the craziest thing.
People don't rise from the dead.
Right?
When people die, they're dead.
It's the only thing that's as certain as taxes.
It's like, right?
Death and taxes are the only...
So, it's helpful for us.
And John is explicit about this.
Right?
Even the people who were most with him and knew what was going on didn't know what was going on, really.
Nobody expected that Jesus was actually going to rise from the dead, even though he had said he was going to.
He said he was going to multiple times throughout the account, throughout his life and ministry.
But nobody actually believed it.
Nobody showed up at the tomb thinking, hey, I think Jesus is going to rise from the dead.
I don't think we're going to find anything there.
I don't think they were expecting the crucifixion to be what it was.
And I think they were in shock after that.
It was such a definitive blow.
And they had people at the foot of the cross saying, if you really are who you say you are, come down.
And Jesus didn't come down.
And I think they were devastated.
And they were...
That was like...
I mean, can you imagine if you witnessed that?
Whatever had been said would be sort of shrouded in the chaos of that.
Absolutely.
And why wouldn't Jesus have come down?
And of course, like you say, with hindsight, we know why he didn't come down.
He had a mission that they didn't really fully understand.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah.
But then it does say John went in and saw the clothes and he believed.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah.
So the linen cloths are one of the things that John uniquely accounts for, I believe.
I think I went back and looked.
It's not in the other...
So why does the linen cloths...
Why would that cause belief that he rose?
What were they afraid of when they went to the tomb?
Robbers.
Right?
They're afraid that someone had stolen the tomb.
So what's the significance of the linen cloths?
He got up and unwrapped and he left.
Yeah.
It's not even clear that he unwrapped.
This is a...
I'm going to spend about three minutes on this.
But I want to talk about what Jesus' resurrected body did and didn't do in John 20 and 21.
We're in John, you guys.
What Jesus' resurrected body did and didn't do in John 20 and 21.
Because it's fascinating.
It's because it's possible that his body simply rose and left the clothes behind.
In the same way that his body seems to go through a locked door.
And we ought to be surprised by this in a way that we aren't, typically.
So, but yeah.
Yes, go ahead.
You know, there was a scripture that when there was...
When there was about to bust his head with a rock and he just left to the midst of it.
That's right.
That he had...
If you say that, I remember that.
He had to just, you know, materialize out of it, you know.
Only God can do some stuff like that.
That's right.
In John 8, they picked up stones to stone him and he passed through the crowd.
What in the world?
How did that happen?
But he just did it.
Yes.
So, um...
Yep.
So, so John is giving some, some very specific details about the linen cloth.
The way that it was left.
The fact that it was separated.
The fact that one was folded up.
It's a fascinating account that none of these things...
It doesn't make sense to include them at one level if they weren't real.
Right?
I don't know how they wrapped them.
Was it like this?
I mean, typically, right, it was...
I think it would have looked a little bit like you've probably seen pictures of Egyptian mummies.
Yeah.
You know, just sort of wrapped, you know, toe to neck.
And then the head is wrapped separately.
Um, and then it was covered with spices, um, and embalming to, uh, to honor the body and to preserve it.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah, so he just, like, phased out of it and went where he was supposed to be.
Then come back before his disciples said, peace.
Yep.
There we go.
That's, that's, that's amazing.
Yep.
And the guy's like, I wrapped him.
How did he get out?
I don't wrap him.
So he had to phase out of that.
Yep.
Uh, is there a significance of the fact that he rose again on the third day in terms of, like, why, why three days?
Why was he...
Uh, so, so typically, typically, uh, it's understood that, uh, the three days was when you knew you were really dead.
Um, that there was a Jewish understanding that three days meant you were...
Okay.
Uh, sort of the, the, the Lord could declare you were now dead, you know, legally.
Okay.
If I remember correctly.
Um, there's also that little thing about Jonah and the whale.
Um, so, uh, and there was some prefiguring of the three days.
So, uh, but, but, yeah, I think that the major significance of three days, um, and again,
just in case you ever wonder about this, three days are counted differently than we do.
Like, we count three days as 24-hour periods, right?
So, but Jesus was crucified on a Friday.
Saturday, he was in the grave.
And Sunday morning, he rose.
Three days.
Um, that's a, that's a Jewish way of counting that we might stumble over, uh, but we don't need to.
It's just, it's just the way you count days.
So, um, you don't, you don't, you just don't need to, if people are like, well, it wasn't really three days.
It's like, well, yeah, you're not a first century Jew.
You, you, you would think differently about it.
But, uh, so, um, all right, so I've already sort of spoiled it, but, um, Jesus' body, I just want to spend a few minutes on it.
Like, what did Jesus' body do, um, in chapters 20 and 21?
To kind of rattle them off.
He ate.
Actually, interestingly, Luke says he ate.
John doesn't actually say he ate.
But he was there with them.
He was cooking fish.
Um, and he, you would imagine he ate.
Because, although, interestingly, Luke is very specific that he did eat the fish.
And John does not specify it in the same way.
Um, which doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
It just means that John didn't feel like it was important enough to include in the same way that Luke did.
For whatever reason.
So.
He spoke.
Yep.
Still had the scars on his hands.
Yeah.
Come touch me.
Yeah.
He could be touched.
Yeah.
Um.
He's not, like, some spiritual, like, force.
Right.
He's not an apparition.
He's not a, he's not a ghost.
Like, he's actually material.
Um.
In lots of ways.
Yep.
So, Matt, what about this, like, this appearance where there's not immediate recognition?
That seems to happen.
Yeah.
What do we make of that?
Um.
I think that, uh.
Uh.
I think that, that it maybe speaks to, uh, to potentially a couple things.
It's, it's not, it's not.
One is that you see throughout the Gospels, there, there are themes of misunderstanding.
Right?
Like, people, people don't understand Jesus a lot.
Uh.
They misunderstand him regularly.
Even his disciples misunderstand him.
And you see this actually ratcheting up as you get to the crucifixion, where the very
thing that he's going to is, uh, you know, the very thing that he's moving towards is the
very thing that they don't understand the most.
And, you know, Peter says, no, you can't do this.
And, you know, that pulls out the sword to fight the Roman soldiers.
And over and over again, they don't understand that this is what Jesus is doing.
So part of it, I think, in some ways is of, it's the final step in that, um, we understand
who Jesus is because of, in light of the cross and the resurrection, and as God reveals
himself to us through that.
Right?
So, the, in, on the road to Emmaus, they didn't know who he was, and then he teaches
them, and then he reveals himself, and then they understand.
Right?
And then they think back, they're like, oh, yeah, we could have gotten that earlier, because
our hearts burned while he was talking.
But we didn't, we didn't put the pieces together.
Um, so it does seem like there is, like Mary here clearly doesn't know who he is.
Right?
But then when he appears to the disciples, nobody asks a question.
Right?
Like, when he, you know, when you get to verse 19, he stands, there's not a, like, whoa,
what are you?
He does say, peace be with you, but that's probably because a guy just appeared in your
room.
Like, that's a little odd.
He'd probably be freaked out.
He says, peace be with you.
Um, uh, so I think that, that part of it is, there is an ongoing theme of, like, God,
we understand Christ because God reveals this to us, not because we have great insight.
I think that's part of it.
Um, but I think there's, in the resurrection accounts, there's also a sense of, how do we
say it?
Jesus was both recognizable and in some, and in some ways transformed.
Um, and I don't know exactly how to, how to quantify that.
Um, but, but I think that he was more different in some ways than we imagine him.
Um, and then in some ways he was very human, like we do imagine him, I think.
Um, uh, that's as much as I have on that.
I don't know if anyone else have any thoughts on that?
Uh, the, well, in the Emmaus Road account, he literally has to, like, open their eyes to
himself.
Yep.
If I recall, he has to, he has to do something.
Yep.
But anyway, we don't spend too much more time.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
I mean, it's interesting here because the way that, this will lead us into our first,
our, our first sort of looking at the account to, to just tease it out.
Um, because with Mary, the way that he reveals himself to her is a very intimate and a very
personal way.
Um, um, and it's a, it's a very powerful thing.
So, um, so yeah, so just to recognize, um, we've said it, but Jesus appears.
Um, it's not clear how Jesus gets around.
It doesn't say Jesus walked from here to there, to there, to there.
It's just these little snapshots.
Now, it's very possible that Jesus' resurrected body could have walked around with his disciples.
Um, but it also seems clear that the emphasis on the locked doors is pretty, pretty clear
here.
Jesus walked into a locked room and appeared to them.
Um, there's something about that body.
I don't know what, I don't know what that means.
I've watched too much Star Trek to like, not probably think that he just got, you know,
teleported in.
Um, but we, but there, there are signs here that Jesus' body is both natural and supernatural
in ways that I don't know that we totally understand, but something that we can really
look forward to.
Um, that the resurrected body is going to be pretty darn awesome.
Um, so, and it's going to be both real and physical and yet more than anything that we've
experienced because our bodies are subject to decay and corruption in a fallen world.
So, the linen clause, the eyewitness accounts, um, this account of all of this is so that
we would believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of God, and that by believing we would have
life in his name.
Um, now I want to spend the rest of our time looking at these encounters because it's so
clear that Jesus meets these people and in doing so.
And I'm, I want to spend the briefest amount of time on the first one because it's what Greg
preached on, on Easter.
Um, and so if you want to hear the full account, there's, there's a good sermon on it.
Um, but the first one is Mary.
Um, and, uh, uh, as again, I don't want to beat a dead horse, but as Greg said, it's remarkable
that Mary is the first one to see the raised, the resurrected Christ.
This was counter-cultural in many ways.
It would, it, it gives credence to the, uh, to the biblical account as not being something
made up, um, because no one in their, in the first century in their right mind would
have made up a story where the first witness to this miraculous event was a woman.
Uh, it just wouldn't have happened in that culture.
Uh, it doesn't make any sense.
It's like saying, I'm going to pick a lunatic to be my star witness, uh, in my, in my court
case.
Um, it just, it doesn't have, it doesn't make any sense.
Um, uh, uh, so, um, again, Greg expounded that.
But when you look at Mary, how is Mary transformed by meeting the resurrected Jesus?
That's a question I want to ask about each of the three people.
How are they transformed by their encounter with the resurrected Christ?
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Thank you.
Yeah.
She announced the disciples
the wedding.
I've seen the Lord.
Yeah.
It's a victorious thing to say.
Yeah.
Her going back and announcing.
There's something that comes out of it
is this incredible confidence.
Like she doesn't just tell.
She announces.
And that's a strong word.
Just so we can be clear on the clinging thing,
if this wasn't clear from Greg's sermon,
what Jesus is not saying is,
don't touch me because I'm like in transit to the Father
and you might defile me.
Nor is he saying to her like,
ooh, don't touch me.
Like, you know, get away.
What he is saying is,
you don't have to be afraid of me abandoning you right now.
I think her clinging is,
oh my gosh, you're alive.
I'm going to hold on to you and never let you go
because I never want to lose you again.
I think,
this to me is the most logical read.
And what he's saying is,
no, no, no.
Don't be afraid.
You don't have to cling to me
because I'm going to my Father and your Father,
my God and your God.
I'm in the process of ascending
and that ascension will include his time on earth.
He's coming from the grave
and he's going to the Father, right?
And that will include this time on earth.
But what he's saying is,
now that I've been raised,
you will be mine forever.
I will be yours forever.
So don't be afraid.
The separation that you've been weeping about
at the beginning is not real.
The separation has now been,
has actually been,
the thing that you're most afraid of,
that you've lost me,
is actually not true.
So,
I think that's the best way to understand that,
like, don't cling to me.
Or don't,
some Bible verses say don't touch me,
which is even more confusing, I think.
So,
any other thoughts about Mary?
It was fascinating,
this little sight and sound show that I went to
told sort of the story of Mary Magdalene
and how she had been rescued from,
most likely prostitution,
delivered from demonic oppression,
brought in.
You think about how Jesus had rescued her
sort of sociologically and personally
out of a terrible life situation
into a place where she found a place of belonging
as one of those who followed Jesus.
And then you bring him,
then you bring her to the foot of the cross
and as you said, Jeff,
it's got to be devastating.
Like,
this is the first person who looked at me
as a human being
and not as someone to be used.
You don't want to over-psychologize it,
but I think this seems to be fair and real.
He delivered me from those things
and brought me into a place where I belonged
and now I'm being abandoned
and now I'm lost.
And then suddenly he reappears.
He says,
my God and your God,
my Father and your Father,
what you thought you had lost
has actually now been
brought into its fullness.
and you will have this forever.
Can I be honest?
I struggle with this a little bit
and this is just going to share
with my honesty moment.
I love your honesty.
It's great.
Thank you.
But,
I don't see if you have
the actual person of Jesus with you
for a period of time
and you watch what he does and says
and he purifies you if you're married.
Like,
he does exactly what you said
so now you're just,
you're a whole different person.
Yeah.
And then he dies
and then he comes back
and he's like,
married.
And you're like,
oh,
you're back.
You know?
Then he says,
don't cling to me
because what's coming
is going to be better
than you having me in the body.
At least that's how
I always hear it interpreted.
I'm just not,
I'm sorry,
but unless the charismatic people
are right,
like,
and we're just,
we're resisting the spirit
and we don't have
what we really ought to have,
I'm willing to say that.
I am willing to say that.
Then I just don't agree with that.
I mean,
don't we all long
to be with Jesus?
Wouldn't we,
wouldn't we do anything
to have him walk in the door
right now and hug us
and just,
and we could talk to him
and say,
why this?
And what this is,
you know,
and interact
and have him speak to us
like apparently he's
interacted with them
and don't we,
aren't we told,
whoa,
you see through a mirror dimly now,
and you believe now
and you don't even see
and we have things like that
and so I struggle with this
little piece here
of the,
don't claim to me
because this is going to be
way better
and way more awesome.
I think more,
I think I could get my head around,
I can't stay now,
I have to send myself out
onto millions,
but we'll be reunited
and that will be a good thing,
but it can't be as good
as having it,
it just can't,
can it?
Or are we not drinking
in the well?
like,
no,
so,
having,
having seen the resurrected Christ
is better than having seen him
before he died
because we understand more
of what he's doing,
but I do think that
you sort of slipped it in there
like,
oh,
but if maybe Jesus was clear
about this plan,
like,
I'm gonna,
I'm going to prepare a place
for you,
but your job now
is to proclaim me
and to spread me
as far as,
as far as you can
because,
because we're gonna have that
again.
Um,
I actually think
that that is what he does.
Um,
so look,
look with me,
look at verse,
uh,
17,
right?
Don't cling to me
for I have not yet ascended
to the Father.
Go to my brothers
and say,
right?
So the first thing,
so,
so Jesus then says,
don't stay here with me.
I have another task for you.
Go and let other people know.
And you know what we'll see?
We'll see it three times.
Everybody that he interacts with.
That's,
that's a key part of
what he's doing,
um,
as he prepares,
as during this time
of resurrected
and not yet ascended Jesus,
what Jesus is doing
is reaffirming
what he's told them
the whole time
about what he's going to do
and about what his purpose is
and what it means
for them to follow him
is to proclaim him,
right?
But it's finally going to fall
into place
in a new way.
Um,
and in fact,
it doesn't really fall into place
until Acts,
right?
We don't really see
the fullness come
of,
of the disciples
getting this
until Acts 2.
It would seem like.
Um,
and maybe
the Charismatics
do have things
to teach us
about experiencing
the risen Christ,
uh,
daily experience now.
Um,
in the way that our,
in the way that our
sort of reformed
cognitive,
um,
understanding of
Christianity
can be,
uh,
faithful,
true,
right,
but maybe lacking
I think of it
through the lens
of conversation.
So like my charismatic
friends come in
and they encourage me
to seek out
like a direct,
like I'm going to say,
yeah,
I have my conversation
through God's word.
Like he's given me
God's work.
I have his word.
Yeah.
And that's why
I was connected
into having Jesus
physically,
like Mary said
something to Jesus.
He said something
back to her.
She said,
well,
I want to cling on you.
He's like,
no,
you can't right now.
And,
and what my friends
would say is,
yeah,
you can have that.
And what everything
in my heart
and my experience
in life,
you have enough.
Yeah.
You have what's sufficient
in the written word of God
and you need to just calm down
because this is coming.
Yeah.
So just to cap this off
and just saying
to me,
it's not better
than what they,
if you've got Jesus,
the risen Jesus
right there
and he's like,
we've got to go,
we've got a mission now
and then we're going
to get reunited.
I like that.
Yeah.
But if,
yeah,
no,
it seems,
if he's going to say,
what I'm about to do
is going to be way better
than you having me
physically here with you,
that's the part
I don't understand.
Now we can move on
and not get.
Okay.
Where does he say that?
Sorry.
Say which?
Or if he says
that it is going to be better.
In John 14,
right?
If I do not go,
then you cannot understand.
I think it's implicit
in the don't cling to me.
He's trying to tell Mary,
like,
hey,
don't hang,
don't physically try
to hang on to me right now
because even though
my presence is good,
I'm ascending to my Father,
but the hope is that
because he's my Father
and your Father
and my God
and your God,
you're going to come with me
eventually.
You will come.
And so that's...
He's not saying
that life on earth
is going to be better
without...
No.
Yeah.
Not necessarily.
Well,
it's an interpretation thing,
right?
It's a...
You having his spirit,
like,
once he goes,
that enables his spirit
to be poured out
on everyone
and you receiving
that Holy Spirit
is better than...
Some argue.
This is what
some people would argue.
Well,
he says it explicitly
in John 16,
right?
Yes.
It's not 14,
it's 16.
Yeah.
Nevertheless,
I tell you the truth,
it is to your advantage
that I go away,
for if I do not go away,
the helper will not come to you.
Yeah.
So clearly it is
to our advantage
that we are not with him.
No.
But it's not...
If I do not go away,
it is to your advantage.
Yeah.
But,
so,
if we don't have...
If we just have Christ
in the flesh,
obviously that's wonderful,
but...
But if we don't have the spirit,
we don't have participation
in the Godhead,
right?
The spirit
that dwells within us
allows us to participate
in the Father,
Son,
and the Holy Spirit
that try you in God.
So of course
that's better
than being present
with Christ,
as wonderful as that is,
and hopefully we will be
one day,
but...
I just...
Participation in the...
That's a really excellent comment.
Yeah.
That is an excellent comment.
And so I think
that comes from the,
you know,
the early church concept
of theosis,
and then Calvin also
has the union
with Christ,
right?
And that's,
we...
That's through the
Holy Spirit
dwelling within us.
Yeah.
And if in some sense
that can't happen
until Jesus,
which we can't understand,
why?
Right,
right,
right.
But he's pretty explicit
about it,
and I have to go away
for the Spirit to come.
It seems that that's...
But where we're headed
is both and.
Where we're headed
is both and.
Yep.
And the both and
is not now.
We don't get Jesus.
We don't get...
We don't get all of that now.
What we do have
is the Spirit.
And that's a...
And in the Old Testament,
right,
God dwells with the people
of God in the Spirit,
but not within them,
right?
Right.
In the same way.
The crucifixion
and resurrection of Christ
and the descent
of the Holy Spirit
allows for that.
Yeah.
Thanks, John.
That's wonderful.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's move on
to Thomas.
How is Thomas transformed
by his encounter
with the risen Christ?
So now we're at...
There's this intervening thing
where Jesus appears
to the disciples.
They're excited about him.
He says,
Peace be with you
as the Father sent me up.
So I'm sending you.
So you see this clear,
like,
missional sense.
Like,
as Jesus is appearing
to people,
he is saying,
the purpose of this
is not just so that
we're having a little
come-by-out moment,
right?
I'm appearing to you
because I'm now
going to be commissioning you
to be sent out.
Verse 22,
just briefly,
receive the Holy Spirit.
Obviously,
the outpouring of Pentecost.
This is some sort of
proleptic encounter.
People spilled
all sorts of ink
about when the disciples
had the Holy Spirit,
when they didn't.
I think that we can say
clearly that at Pentecost,
the Holy Spirit
was poured out on them
fully and in a
beginning of a new era way
and that before then,
we have these
time when,
again,
I don't think we need
to make this into,
it's not Pentecost.
I think it's distinct
from Pentecost,
but it's,
but I think it's
looking ahead
and preparing them
for this.
We come to Thomas
24 through 29.
How is Thomas transformed
by his encounter?
He's humbled.
Mm-hmm.
Just a little.
What's that, Frankie?
I said just a little.
Just a little.
Yep.
It's interesting because
throughout the Gospels,
Jesus has these public
exchanges with the Pharisees
where they always
demand a sign
and he always refuses,
he never will give it
to them because if he
were to give it to them,
it would confirm
their delusion
that he's somehow
accountable to them.
Yep, yep, yep.
But then Thomas
demands a sign
and he appears to them.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
And yet,
it's interesting because
the one sign that Jesus
does for saying
that he'll do
is this.
Is this.
It's the resurrection,
right?
In John 2.
Yeah.
He says,
would they demand a sign
after he cleanses the temple?
He says,
no sign.
I'll destroy this temple
and I'll raise it open
for you.
Yep, yep, yep.
Or the sign of Jonah.
Would you even believe
the sign of Jonah?
Like, it's fascinating
how he actually threads
that in.
That the one sign
that he will give
for sure
is the resurrection.
Yeah.
So this one
isn't actually
rocket science,
right?
Verse 25,
I will never believe
to verse 27.
Do not disbelieve
but believe.
And Thomas answers him,
my Lord and my God.
Which is a confession
of faith.
It is a profession
of belief.
Thomas is classic
in his doubting.
We ought to recognize
that his doubting
is perfectly rational.
And if you hadn't seen it,
you'd think it was
a fairy tale too,
right?
Even though Jesus
had prepared,
nobody really expected that.
And that's part of
what John is telling him.
Nobody expected this
even though Jesus
had been saying it.
And so his post-resurrection
appearances are confirming
and spreading
clearly these encounters
to affirm
that his resurrection
was real.
And to,
as you see here,
this is why
John's statement
about the purpose
of this gospel
is so important,
right?
The apostle John
runs in,
he sees a linen cloth
and he believes.
Now here's the second person.
Thomas says,
unless I see him,
I don't believe.
Jesus appears,
says,
here I am.
And he believes,
right?
So we're seeing
what Jesus,
what John is saying
about the resurrected Christ
is what we're believing in
and he's actually
giving pictures
of people
who are actually
doing that.
And it's helpful
for us to see this.
I had a conversation
with a university student
who said,
I'm an agnostic.
I actually think
that existentialism
or maybe even nihilism
makes the most sense.
But some of my friends
are Christians,
so I'm here.
You know?
He says,
it seems like the resurrection
is a big deal.
You know,
I had to pull out
my two-minute answer
for her,
but what I said to her
was,
yeah,
like,
in fact,
it's everything.
Because every other religion
you've ever studied
is a philosophy
or it's a worldview.
It's a nice idea
about,
maybe it's a moral code
of how to live.
Uniquely,
Christianity says
that God intervened
in space-time history
in ways that are
historically verifiable.
And the resurrection
of the dead
is the linchpin of that.
Either Jesus rose
from the dead
or he didn't.
And if he didn't,
then we're fools.
The Bible even tells us that.
If he didn't rise
from the dead,
then it's all a fairy tale.
And, you know,
I might as well be inspired
by the Matrix
rather than this,
you know?
So.
Plus there are those
who have not seen
and have believed.
Yeah.
Isn't that an interesting
statement?
Why do you think
Jesus says that?
I think,
I don't know,
I read it just
in light of this
conversation
that we're having.
Yes, it's,
it's,
if you need to,
you can approach this
rationally
and try to rationally
think about it.
But, you know,
ultimately,
there is a,
there is,
God is up there,
right?
And,
yep,
yep.
Blessed are you
who give him
fully your trust
without needing this,
like, you know,
this intense,
rational confirmation
of that.
Yeah.
And I think it's also
laying a foundation stone
for the fact that
most of the church
won't see the risen Christ.
Bodily.
Right?
Most,
we haven't,
I don't think,
maybe,
maybe some of you
had some vision
I didn't know about,
but,
the church throughout history
is those who have not seen
and have yet believed.
and the people of God
in,
that are produced
by the risen Christ
are those
almost,
you know,
there's an infinitesimally
small percentage of them
who have actually seen
the risen Christ.
Most of us have not.
And I think Jesus is saying,
this is what,
this is where this is going.
You are going to go
and proclaim
the risen Christ
to people
and it will be enough
for you to proclaim that.
they don't have to see me
to believe.
They have to know
that someone see me.
But they don't have to,
they don't have to see me
to believe.
Yeah,
what are you wrestling with?
Well,
I'm not wrestling actually,
I'm just thinking of the delicious
or sort of rich,
if it's not irony,
it's,
but here's this man
and because of him,
it's like Jesus is
condescending to this man,
obviously.
Right.
Like the God of the universe
is going to allow
that someone says,
I'm not believing
until you prove it.
Yeah.
And so he condescends in love
and he does prove it.
Yeah.
But yet we're watching this scene
as readers
and so it,
it helps us,
it enriches us
so this,
so it's almost like we're,
because it's funny,
you know,
as we've been reading along
and trying to picture
the scenes
and I'm picturing
this Jewish man
looking at
at least what appears
to be another human being
and calling him God
and how insane that is.
Like,
how,
we don't,
I think,
feel how insane
and crazy
and he's basically
abandoning his whole
extended family.
He's a,
he's,
he's turning
to,
and,
but we get to witness
that through his,
so Jesus is saying,
blessed,
it's just kind of profound
how God is even going to turn
this man's weakness
and turn him into a witness
to countless millions of people
who are going to read this
and it's going to help us
because I know it helps me.
Yeah.
It,
it helps me see
Jesus' love for us
that
even,
I mean,
how many of us
have harbored doubts,
you know,
in our hearts
that are,
that are outrageously
disrespectful
and sat,
and that God
had every right
to just snuff us out
just because we even
had the thought,
you know,
but yet
he comes and,
and he says,
and he condescends
and he bears with us
and,
I don't know,
it's just,
it's so rich
and so beautiful
and,
yeah,
and it's interesting,
Carson actually argues
that he thinks
if,
if John has a target audience
and a purpose,
he thinks the best way
to try to put that together
is actually
that John is writing
an apologetic
to diaspora Jews,
so Jews not who live
in Jerusalem,
but Jews who are spread out
throughout the Roman Empire,
and they're the ones
who wouldn't have known
someone who saw Jesus
in,
in Jerusalem.
They're people who would
have been spread out
and who have,
who would have,
and so there's an interesting,
you know,
the intermediary step
of if John is writing
to those Jewish men
and women saying,
he really is a Christ,
and here's one of your own
who's looking at another
human being saying,
my Lord and my God,
which is a pretty profoundly
remarkable thing to say,
because he saw
the resurrected Christ,
and these other people
in Ephesus and Rome
and,
you know,
Carthage and whatever,
they're hearing these accounts,
they're hearing these stories,
and,
and they're being called
to believe in that same Jesus
on the basis of these
eyewitness accounts,
and that by believing,
you might have life
in his name,
that this life that comes
to us is freeing us,
freeing us
by meeting us
in our doubts
and drawing us gently
towards this life
that we are able
to have with him.
Amen.
All right,
I think,
I think we have like
two minutes.
Peter's a big story
in 21.
There's a lot going on in it,
but,
briefly,
how would you,
how would you try
to summarize
how is Peter
transformed
by his encounter
with the risen Christ?
And again,
you remember,
just to make sure
we all remember,
Peter was the one
who,
at the Last Supper,
said,
I would die for you
before I let them
take you away.
I will never deny you.
And then,
within hours,
literally,
had turned around
and said,
I'm not with him,
I don't know the man,
that he had disavowed
any connection
with Jesus
in order to save
his own skin
and out of fear.
And so,
it was this Peter
who then
is being met
on the beach.
So,
yeah.
I think that that Peter
is,
before the crucifixion,
those words were empty
and now those words
are true.
That's how he's transformed.
So,
now when he,
if he were to say
the same thing,
I would rather
die before I would
deny you,
it actually becomes
true,
right?
And John
hints to this,
which is the tradition
that Peter is crucified.
This is to show
by what kind of
death he was to work.
And by tradition,
he was actually
crucified upside down
because he refused
to be crucified
in the manner
that Jesus
was crucified.
But that he did
die a similar death.
Yeah.
No,
I mean,
I think that's right.
That's part of the
transformation is
his,
you know,
in all we know
about Peter's
personality and temperament,
his impetuous,
fiery,
strong-headed,
but ultimately,
at empty,
sort of bravado
became actually
real courage
and real faith
and real substantive
commitment
to follow Christ.
Yeah.
Anything you guys
would add to that?
I mean,
obviously,
there's a
restoration story
here,
where he,
I mean,
the shame he must
have felt,
right,
and the,
and everyone's overjoyed
to see Jesus,
that,
oh,
wow,
you know,
Jesus is resurrected,
but maybe Peter's joy
was tainted with,
yeah,
but none of you
literally,
verbally,
you know,
he,
he had this weight
of shame and guilt.
Yeah.
And,
um,
and I think we,
we can all step in
and relate to that
because when we,
you know,
when we realize,
when God opens up
our hearts
to realize
how bad an offense
our sin is
against him,
you know,
we all have
to experience that,
I think that shame
and guilt.
Yeah.
And then the relief
of,
of God coming to us
by his spirit
and saying,
this is why I died.
Yeah.
You know,
this is,
yeah,
why I died
is to take the punishment
for,
for that.
Yeah.
And restore you,
and I love how he,
Peter's mission
is connected now.
Like,
have you ever had,
like,
a terrible season
of coldness
or been in,
like,
a valley,
you know,
and,
and you just feel like
I'm not fit
to even serve the Lord.
Like,
I'm not fit to do
what he's called me to do
because I'm filthy
and I,
I think there's a connection
there that we see.
Like,
not to tease it out
too far,
but it's like,
do you love me?
You're,
I'm restoring you
and I'm,
I'm beyond that,
I'm going to give you
a purpose
and it's going to be
a meaningful purpose.
Yeah.
And,
so,
I think all,
all that's kind of
going on.
Yeah.
No,
I think that's right.
Yeah.
And it's remarkable
that Jesus doesn't
just come to Peter
and say,
you blew it,
didn't you?
I forgive you.
Like,
the restoration
is much greater
than that,
isn't it?
He's not saying,
hey,
let's,
let's let bygones
be bygones.
I rose from the dead.
It's okay.
You know?
I mean,
it went badly,
but it's okay.
You know?
Like,
that's how we humanly
would probably
want to deal with this.
And yet,
you see,
the restoration
of Peter
is not just to,
hey,
Peter,
we're okay.
Right?
But it's to more than that.
It's,
Peter,
I've told you,
I've called you
to follow me.
I've told you
that you are to be one
who,
by your profession
and by your apostleship
will establish my church.
And,
and,
and you blew that
spectacularly.
But you didn't lose it.
I'm going to bring you back.
He wasn't just saying,
did you sin?
Yes,
I sinned,
Lord.
I forgive you.
He said,
Peter,
feed my sheep.
Feed my sheep.
Go,
go fulfill
what you've seen in me.
Go and live out.
Live for this purpose.
It's a remarkably
powerful picture
of restoration.
It's that it's not
minimalistic.
It's abundant
in its,
in it,
in the,
in what,
what he is restored to.
You know,
even,
even to the point
where he,
Peter goes,
well,
okay,
so I'm going to die
for you.
Yeah,
that's great.
Okay,
what about him?
Is he going to do,
is he going to do it too?
And he's like,
don't pay any attention to him.
It doesn't matter.
It's not about him.
It's about you.
What I've done for you,
this is about you.
And he's going to do his own thing.
Right.
And oh,
by the way,
he's the one who's writing this book,
who's giving you all of his testimony
so that you would believe.
And he's telling you all this.
Great things about Jesus.
Like I said,
there's tons more for us to mine
out of that story.
But the bell is tolling.
So,
but when you think about John,
when you think about
what does John add
to the resurrection story,
there's some details
about the eyewitness account.
There's some particulars
about Jesus' resurrection body
that I just think are fascinating.
But I think the greatest way
is here,
where as we encounter
the resurrected Christ,
there's this transforming power
that Jesus has
to bring us from places
of weeping,
mourning,
despair,
doubt,
hopelessness,
condemnation,
and guilt.
The resurrected Christ,
because he's gone
through sin and death
and been raised again
to a new life,
he is able to take us
with him
out of those things
and that by believing in him,
we may have life
that is not characterized
by those things,
but by the things
of life with Jesus.
Which doesn't make it
all perfect now,
but it means that we live now
with hope
and with faith
and with love,
with the ability
to serve others
and to take up
this mission
that he's given us
to be his ambassadors
in the world,
to tell others
about a risen Savior
who died and rose
for the salvation
of people like us.
And that's a good word.
So,
all right,
let me close this in prayer.
Lord,
we do thank you for this
and we pray
for us
that these words
would inspire us
and strengthen our faith
that we might believe
more deeply
and fully
in the resurrected Christ.
Lord,
we pray as well
that we might be those
who,
like Mary
and like Thomas
and like Peter
and many other
of the early disciples,
Lord,
that we might have
our tongues loosed
to proclaim to others
that Jesus,
you are a risen Savior,
that you are alive
even today,
seated at the right hand
of the Father,
Lord,
that your Spirit
is at work
drawing men and women
to yourself
and that we have
the privilege
of telling them
about what you have
done for us.
Lord,
we pray these things
in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Thanks, guys.
Chairs.
Michelle,
what do we need
to do with chairs?
Can we leave these up
for Ethiopian church?
Yes,
that's fine.
Okay.
Good.
And whatever you want
to do.
Uh,
yeah,
I'm not...